There comes a time in every person’s life when they are forced to reconcile the fact that, actually, what they think is entirely normal doesn’t represent how the average person operates. If one happens to not be neurologically typical, then this might be the list for you.
Someone made a post stating “Neurodivergent folks, what’s a symptom you thought was normal until you realized it absolutely wasn’t?” and people shared their best examples. Note, many of the things here can be attributed to neurodivergence, but are not exclusive to it. So get comfortable as you scroll through, upvote your favorites and be sure to write down and obsess over your own examples in the comments below.
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When people tell me a story, I tell them a similar story to try to relate. Ppl don’t like that they think I’m trying to make it about myself when I’m trying to empathize.
This is so incredibly common. I tried hard to stop doing this decades ago, thinking I was being egotistical. I only recently discovered that all neurodivergents do it to some extent. It made me feel better.
Constantly googling things when I don't know. It boggles my mind that people don't know something and then just keep moving through life not knowing.....
Not hating showering itself but hating the task initiation.
Not actually “missing” many people or feeling the urge to talk to friends or anyone besides the people you’re around everyday. People are like out of sight out of mind.
Always needing to know “why” and doing extensive deep research about random things only to completely lose interest a month or two later.
I replay conversations I have with people in my head.. to try to determine if said the appropriate thing and I totally over analyze it. It can be exhausting...
Clearing my ENTIRE day to get ready for an event at 7pm.
Brain radio! I thought everyone else was hearing music on repeat inside their head. 😭
Getting overwhelmed by environmental noise but always needing the right background noises.
I don’t know if there’s a word for it but just thoughts ALL the time about seemingly everything. If I’m interacting with someone I’m thinking about the way I’m sitting or standing, what they think of me, if I’m responding normally, eye contact, that random thing that happened 10 yrs ago and made me feel bad, am I nodding too much?” It takes me out of the moment. Makes me wonder how ppl genuinely enjoy things for a prolonged amount of time.
I find it mind blowing that people can have a period of "no thoughts". Like, you guys have an off switch?
Having full conversations with myself in my head…
I have full conversations with myself out loud. Some days it’s my only means of having an intelligent conversation
Constant overthinking, ruminating, worrying, intrusive, racing thoughts. Until my 30s I thought everyone had the same & were just sailing through life not bothered by it.
Forgetting a person's name straight after they've told you.
I had to occasionally work with two chaps at another company. When I met them, one of them said "My name is Stu, like stew" and then acted out the motion of stirring a large pot of stew. That was over 20 years ago and I still remember his name. The other chap's name I would forget often. His first name is the same as my own.
Wanting friends but unable to keep them bc I can’t ever seem to truly like a person once I get to know them.
Object permanence, I don’t miss anyone or anything, is a struggle 😩
UnclFredstr:
Object permanence, especially with people. I can go months without communicating, and yet to me, when I do, it feels like just yesterday.
Yeah, this is hard for me to understand because I have it but I also have intense anxiety. Therefore I get incredibly anxious about future regrets for things I don't currently miss. It's a never-ending vicious cycle.
Getting genuinely obsessed with something for a period of time only to then drop it and start the process all over again with something else that caught your interest.
I'm a bipolar and I have a big shame box full of unfinished art projects, a bag of yarn balls and crochet projects I've started, and too many half-full notebooks.
Over explaining 😭😭 I need to keep everything short and sweet but then I feel like I’m not getting my point across good enough.
Because people ALWAYS get something about it wrong because they make assumptions. It's frustrating, and that's why I put as much information in the initial description as possible. Definitely makes it less easy to tell or understand, though, so it's counter-productive. Catch 22!
Having to do two things at once in order to pay full attention to one of those things. Example: playing a game on my phone in order to be able to pay attention to a lecture or meeting.
I used to doodle in my notebook during lectures for this reason but then my teacher told me to never do it again so I began fully zoning out and now he complains I don’t pay attention
Eating the same option for 3 weeks...then hating it for years 😭😂
Ha ha! The number of times my cupboard or fridge gets filled with 'that thing I have to have all the time' once I suddenly stop wanting it is crazy!
Instantly recognizing patterns.
I love patterns! I would not say that I'm good at recognizing them though. 😅
Listening to one song on repeat for hours.
I’ve done this just means u love that song its your happy place , nothing more ,
Saying exactly what I mean but then being called rude when I was being legitimately neutral.
Inability to sleep before any event the next day no matter how unimportant it is
Pattern recognition, re-reading the same sentence/question 10 times and still not understanding, reading a whole page in a book and not even knowing what i read, food hyperfixations, rumination, hating showering because it’s a “big task” for me, not doing anything before a work shift (even if it’s at 4pm) because i’m afraid i won’t have time, listening to the same song over and over, overstimulation by crowds/loudness, getting overwhelmed/frustrated REALLY easily, over analyzing, i could probably think of more.
Needing lists of things. If I don’t have my checklist then i’ll probably forget half the things i was supposed to do.
task initiation. 1. i cant do a task just by thinking i want to do it. i have to have an actual external push/drive. like cleaning my house, i mope around all day thinking i will clean i will clean. but tell me you be dropping by in 45 mins, and i can clean it all up. 2. I cant do anything alone, i need a body double to just be there with me even if they aren't doing the same thing im doing. 3. i cant just start and stop a task by my own. i could literally work all day with no breaks if no one tells me to do a bathroom break, or a meal break. so yeah. when I learned about that, I'm like, this is too complicated.
So similar but it's more that if I stop to take a break, I won't be able to start again and sometimes it's almost impossible to stop even if I want/need to! I do things better alone than with someone but I definitely need external motivation.
Perfectionism. It slows me down with every task, job etc.
Yes! Mostly because my rough drafts are VERY rough. I never could get the hang of making an outline, so tend to just brain dump thoughts onto paper, with lots of new paragraphs begun but not concluded (needing more research and of course, citations), and not always in order (hell, that’s how this comment was written). Also, I think so much faster than I write, so my handwriting is a scrawl and most of the time illegible to anyone but me—-though sometimes it’s a struggle for me too. This was especially true back in the day when all assignments were handwritten (I sure am showing my age). I would have to neaten up my “rough” draft just so the instructor could make head or tails of it, so it wasn’t truly rough anymore. Believe me when I say I love using technology. I am now able to type my rough drafts out so they’re at least readable (I do have to take care to check the weird associations spellcheck makes—-it is my nemesis), and cut, paste, and easily erase and type over corrections.
Predicting the end of movies, shows, conventions. Being human lie detector and not being able to put into words why I don’t like someone immediately.
I’ve been able to understand people’s personalities without having to interact with them so I rarely have proof when I dislike someone even though I’m usually right
Reading for 30 minutes and having no clue what I just read.
Countdown clock for everything. Apparently "getting ready to get ready to go" is not a normal thing.
Over analyzing every interaction I have with another person. Rejection sensitivity. Extreme reactions to any type of music that tickles my brain and gives me a dopamine release.
All of that is so painful! Even the music. I do get dopamine but I also am easily negatively influenced. 😞
Having to train myself to make eye contact with people in conversation.
Which eye? Should I alternate? Stare between them? People demand eye contact then start to get creeped out when you put in the effort to do it - why?
Being able to know instantly when a new person is a not safe person.
When you’ve been hurt and used by many people throughout your life, you’ll be able to figure out who’s more likely to do the same to you again
All or nothing mentality.
Or the opposite. I see all possible sides to a situation, all the shades of grey….and get stuck in analysis paralysis.
The constant second guessing of everything I do or feel, making things harder than they are, being able to feel what others are thinking and assuming they hate you, completely underestimating how long it takes to do things.
Having to listen to something to stimulate my brain so i can go to sleep, otherwise ill just be up thinking about any and everything.
I hate being in the kitchen doing anything if someone else is there😭
I feel like I can't do anything productive if someone else is in the room with me
Never being able to remember people's names, forgetting words in the middle of speaking, losing track of what I was trying to write because I couldn't write fast enough and my brain won't slow down, forgeting appointment is, forgetting homework. Basically everything that has to do with working memory. I am very lucky to live in a time when supports are readily available and culturally acceptable.
When people are talking interrupting to ask questions. I thought I was actively listening… turns out you have to let people finish their sentences?
I have a friend (neurodivergent but doesn't realise it) who constantly does this. Unfortunately, his mind works so fast that he can't be patient enough to listen to it all. It outright becomes impossible to tell him a story because of it, unfortunately.
Justice sensitivity to the extent of self detriment.
It genuinely distressed me and made me miss out on so many opportunities and memories because I had such a strong sense of justice even when it wasn’t ever necessary
CONSTANTLY misplacing/losing things and then consequentially having a full blown meltdown over not finding it as a full grown adult.
Behavioral pattern recognition and intuitively knowing what decisions people will make before they act. Also, having entire conversations in your head about hypothetical situations that could occur before you attend an event or have the actual conversation.
This happens when you are highly critical of yourself. Be spontaneous. It is up to them how they receive your words.
I don't like lights. I want the house dark no lights. My bedroom is very dark. That's where I want to be
I hate too bright light in the early mornings (I call my ceiling lamp in the kitchen "interrogation lamp" ). I start with little lights scattered in different corners instead and a 5 candles holder on the kitchen table. (the "hygge" concept of lighting rooms). When I'm "awake" enough I can switch on "the big light".
I can't listen when I'm making eye contact.
OMG this! Either you want me to LOOK like I'm paying attention or you want me to ACTUALLY listen but not look like I am but you definitely can't have both! Also, don't expect me to speak coherently if you want eye contact while I'm talking; I barely make sense without it. 😵
Chatter in my mind, always thinking always ruminating making up scenarios, making up entire new worlds, navigation skills, time anxiety and being soooo prompt, taking things literally, pattern recognition to point I can tell the future based on it 😅 ocd but messy too.
sounds like me. I've read that when it's a game of opposites like that you could be autistic ADHD.
High emotions for everything and having a hard time getting over things… I’d mad for days if you let me.
Coffee. I thought people were lying about their need for coffee in the morning because caffeine does nothing for me.
Some people just don't react to caffeine - I could drink the strongest coffee, one after the other, then go to bed and sleep fine. One of my colleagues at work is the same. Most people I know, however, claims the caffeine energises them or wakes them up. I drink it because I like the taste.
Extreme sensory issues. Have to be wearing socks 24/7. The air itself is a sensory issue.
Feeling like I’m watching myself live in 3rd person.
I did not realize people genuinely do not see an issue with things being moved/touched. I tell my coworkers constantly "if you use my stuff, put it back EXACTLY where you found it" but they just toss it on my cart instead. it makes me irrationally upset. It's MY STUFF, why are you touching it.
Captioned speech. I thought everybody spelled spoken words in their head???
Closed captions used to be rare before the 1990s in the US, now it's so very common, and I'm very grateful.
Being able to automatically identify other neurodivergent people.
I can’t stand still, I have to rock side to side.
I'm constantly moving. It's so perplexing to be both extremely exhausted and feel like I can't stop moving or I'll explode.
Immediate and severe 2nd hand embarrassment even though it has nothing to do with me. Intense and complete full conversations in my head before speaking. Pacing while on the phone. Needing to do everything in order ie there are 3 houses- have to go to house 1, first house 2, second etc., watching the same movie, shows, or books that I know every word to on repeat., unable to wear mismatch socks without anxiety, cutting every nail and filing them because one nail broke.
Not ever having an agenda book or planner work for me longer than maybe three days😂
Ruminating to the point it keeps me up at night and I make myself physically sick, avoiding eating certain foods altogether bc I don't like the texture, safe foods or "fixation meals", non-linear grief, lack of maintaining a self care schedule and lacking time management... I could keep going but yeah.
Remembering EVERY. THING. I was well into my thirties before I realized that most people do not remember every single detail of most situations. 😅
I’ve got working memory from when I was 4-6 months old and can remember nearly everything that’s ever happened to me and what was said to me by everyone. I remember everyone’s faces, their personalities etc and what I was thinking during each of these moments. I can remember before I could think. It’s exhausting
Always counting 😭😭😭why am I counting how many times I typed A😭😭5 btw
Yes. Half the time I forget what I'm counting so have to start again. Music is good for this, especially prog rock - one two three four five six seven one two three four five six seven...
Listening to a song 5000 times until you find a new fixation. Repetitive actions (I twirl my hair into a pattern repeatedly) without even thinking about it.
Spotify tends to make a song inaccessible if you listen to it too often in a short time. They have no sympathy for your need to hear it.
Randomly thinking “touch that object or something really bad will happen.”
Haha! This was me as a kid all the time! It's rare now, but I'm still really superstitious about jinxes.
I thought everyone was aware of how loud they were crunching when eating crunchy things.
Some girl in my class yesterday ate chips in such a bad way. She was sitting at the back and I was sitting at the very first bench but I could hear everything; the way her lips smacked, the way she sucked and crunched the chips etc. How are people not self aware?
Avoiding showering because I don’t like the feeling of wet hair. But I love being clean.
I hate hate hate wet hair so much! It’s uncomfortable and I can’t do anything on days when I have wet hair. Doing anything in wet hair feels painful at times and washing my hair ruins the entire day. I have to prep myself for one hour on hairwashing days
Organizing my shirts in the color of the rainbow with matching hangers.
Being gifted. I could read early, learn multiple languages from library books, do advanced college classes in middle school, and I was a speed reader.
Turns out speed reading isn't a job skill needed these days. Nor is being able to read upside down text
I am a synesthete – I feel different sounds in my body (pressure/vibration/pulling/...), which I only became aware of when I put on noise-cancelling headphones for the first time and all these bodily sensations suddenly stopped. The sensory overload caused by AuDHS therefore has a double impact.
I have number lines of regular numbers, months of the year, days of the week, years in a century, and a whole line of centuries so when I hear about something happening in say, 1247, I can see the century and pull the year from it like pulling a piece of paper from a file folder. It's pretty handy. I think most people do this, though.
Trying to understand why some people did what they did almost obsessively is so bad learnt to only care about WHAT HAPPENED not WHY it happened.
I make my husband angry regularly by trying to understand why he did or didn't do something. He makes me angry regularly by not being interested in understanding why I did or didn't do something.
Loading the dishwasher in a very certain way.
I’m sure this isn’t just a ND thing, my husband never loaded the dishwasher correctly. Even getting him to put things in it rather than on top of it was a win though, even if I did have to rearrange it. Let’s not talk about hanging out washing….
Limerence 😭
Needing a plan for every single plan so i know what and when i can do my routine for getting ready and if there’s no plan im extremely confused and don’t know what to do.
Derealization/depersonalization. Literally thought everyone had those, until I randomly started to ask around and everyone started to look at me like "???" when I described it.
Getting irrationally upset and not being able to comprehend when someone doesn’t like the same things as me.
As a kid (and even now) my special interest has been astronomy and I struggled with the concept that not everyone liked astronomy. Some kids would tell me to shut up and I could never understand how they would only talk about cartoons and not about space.
My pedantic speech, everyone says I’m “well spoken” no, I have a large vocabulary and speak like this mainly because it brings me comfort knowing nothing I said is left for interpretation. Any misunderstanding is entirely the other person’s fault.
Moving from room to room and cleaning it my mind was blown when I found out people don’t actually clean this way. I thought it was a flex now I’m cleaning paralyzed.
Few if any of these are remotely "neurodivergent". I have almost all of them. Now excuse me while I publish a lecture on infinite numbers.
OK thanks. I was genuinely worried I might be neurodivergent, because I have/ do all of these things.
Load More Replies...A lot of these seem to be people worrying about abnormalities that aren't really there. Everybody's got a lot more going on inside their head than what they express, or that others can perceive.
And just because you have something as a neurodivergent person doesn't necessarily mean it is a symptom or sign of neurodivergence.
Load More Replies...Quite a lot of these fit me but I don’t consider myself neurodivergent. I have depression and anxiety but I don’t think those count. I think there’s just overlap between mental health, normal personality variation and neurodivergence.
Neurodivergence is a spectrum. You can be a part of the spectrum and relate to it, without being unusually divergent. Most of us can fake normal quite well at least for brief periods :) I think it’s nice to have company.
Load More Replies...Few if any of these are remotely "neurodivergent". I have almost all of them. Now excuse me while I publish a lecture on infinite numbers.
OK thanks. I was genuinely worried I might be neurodivergent, because I have/ do all of these things.
Load More Replies...A lot of these seem to be people worrying about abnormalities that aren't really there. Everybody's got a lot more going on inside their head than what they express, or that others can perceive.
And just because you have something as a neurodivergent person doesn't necessarily mean it is a symptom or sign of neurodivergence.
Load More Replies...Quite a lot of these fit me but I don’t consider myself neurodivergent. I have depression and anxiety but I don’t think those count. I think there’s just overlap between mental health, normal personality variation and neurodivergence.
Neurodivergence is a spectrum. You can be a part of the spectrum and relate to it, without being unusually divergent. Most of us can fake normal quite well at least for brief periods :) I think it’s nice to have company.
Load More Replies...
