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We all have a list of daydreams we romanticize from afar. Quitting your job to travel the world. Opening a cozy little bookstore. Finally learning how to ride a horse. These are the fantasies that fill our bucket lists and look so perfect on Instagram.
But what's the reality? An online community asked a brilliant, cautionary question: what's something most people think they should try, but really, really should not? The answers are a hilarious and sobering collection of shattered illusions, from hobbies that are secretly miserable to dream jobs that are actually nightmares.
More info: Reddit
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Honestly? turning your favorite hobby into a side-hustle. we live in this world where if you’re good at something. painting, baking, drawing, whatever people immediately say, "omg, you should sell these on etsy!' DON'T DO IT. the second you start charging money for it, your escape becomes your obligation.
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#2
Having kids. A lot of people make bad parents.
Theoretical Empiricist 5 days ago
I figured out when I was 12 (according to my mother) that I didn't want kids. Never looked back, no regrets.
#3
Polyamory, opening the relationship. Most people aren't built for it and you'll most likely end up single.
Ace 5 days ago
Whether people really think they should "try" these is debateable, but I do hate the way the two completely different things are so often placed together like this. An open relationship (I was in one such for ten years) is a choice made by a couple. It doesn't define them, it doesn't mean an alternative lifestyle (although it doesn't preclude it either), it's just the acceptance that both parties can have other relationships _outside of_ that between the two of them 'Poly", which is these days accepted as a s****l identity, is a completely different thing.
We are living in the golden age of the aesthetic daydream. Our feeds are a curated gallery of perfect-looking lives, filled with people who have seemingly achieved the ultimate fantasies. The #VanLife influencer wakes up to a stunning sunrise on a cliffside, never in a Walmart parking lot. The person who quit their job to "follow their passion" is always laughing on a beach, never stressing about paying rent.
This phenomenon taps into something psychologists call the "arrival fallacy." This is the mistaken belief that once you finally achieve a certain goal or have a specific experience, you will reach a state of lasting happiness.
#4
Times Square on NYE.
Glen Ellyn 5 days ago
I never even thought about doing this. To be surrounded in that crowd? Absolutely no way!
#6
Motorcycles.
My ER doctor friend refers to riders as future organ donors.
Mobey Drunk 5 days ago
I've been a paramedic and I still ride. The main thing is that you need to dress for it. Motorcycle accidents are usually bad, however if you have your protective wear on, you have a much better chance. When I got in an accident, I was able to walk away. If I wasn't wearing my helmet, jacket, strong pants and boots, I probably would've died.
The fantasy of "easy money" is a powerful one, and it comes in many seductive forms. There’s the glamorous dream of being a day trader, the thrill of a lucky streak at the casino, and that MLM business your aunt swears is "not a pyramid scheme." These ideas are often romanticized as a clever shortcut around the 9-to-5 grind, a way to beat the system and get rich quick.
But the numbers paint a brutal picture. Studies on day trading have consistently shown that the overwhelming majority of participants (often more than 90%!) end up losing money. Similarly, gambling is a business where the "house" is mathematically guaranteed to win over time. While a lucky few might walk away with a big win, long-term data shows that the vast majority of gamblers are not profitable.
#7
Homeschooling their kids.
sofacushionfort 5 days ago
I homeschooled my daughter on how to fix a flat, and how to roast a chicken. I left the rest to the professionals
#8
Off grid living or trying living out a van...
#9
That "one weird trick" your uncle keeps trying to tell you about at thanksgiving. it's never a trick, it's just tax fraud.
For generations, the "white picket fence" dream has been presented as the ultimate life goal. It’s the final, perfect piece of the puzzle: get married, buy a house, and have children to fill it with laughter and joy. This idyllic vision is reinforced everywhere, painting parenthood as the default, non-negotiable path to a complete and happy life.
The reality, however, is a choice with profound and irreversible consequences that is not right for everyone. Numerous studies in sociology and psychology have documented the "parenthood happiness penalty," where marital satisfaction and personal well-being often take a significant hit after the birth of a first child.
The unfiltered truth is that parenting is an all-consuming, 24/7 job that fundamentally changes your identity. For those who aren't fully committed to that sacrifice, the dream can quickly become a relentless and isolating nightmare. It's sold as the one experience you simply must try to be truly fulfilled, but it might not be for everyone.
#10
Intimate time on the beach. The sand gets everywhere:/.
Sara Frazer 1 day ago
LOL that unlocked a memory. Years and years ago a boyfriend and I had, erm, intimate time in an empty grassy field. Thought it was so romantic under the stars and stuff....got home and just felt tickly/itchy all over. ANTS. Literally ants in my pants. And in my shirt. And in my hair. ants everywhere. I immediately showered and they just kept falling off me 😭 0/10 don't recommend
#11
Trading stocks. Low cost index funds will almost always win in the long term. They beat the vast majority of professional traders, what makes you think you can do better?
Michael Largey 5 days ago
If they don't keep up with inflation in the long term, that's not winning in the long term.
The fantasy of "the ride" is a powerful one. For some, it's the dream of effortlessly galloping a majestic horse along a beach, a perfect partnership of human and animal. For others, it’s the rebellious allure of the open road on a motorcycle, a symbol of ultimate freedom and cool. Both are sold as transformative, almost spiritual experiences, a way to connect with a primal sense of liberty.
The reality, however, is a symphony of pain and astronomical expenses. For beginners, horse riding is less about graceful galloping and more about discovering muscles you never knew you had, all of which will be screaming in agony the next day. More importantly, you are sitting on top of a 1,200-pound prey animal with a mind of its own that can be spooked by a plastic bag.
Similarly, the "freedom" of a motorcycle comes with a terrifying caveat: you are completely exposed and vulnerable. According to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration, per mile traveled, motorcyclists were nearly 29 times more likely than passenger car occupants to get seriously hurt, or worse... You are at the mercy of every distracted driver, and a small patch of gravel can be catastrophic.
#13
Fad diets that promise crazy results in days. People like me thinks “why not try it?” but most are unhealthy and can cause serious problems instead of helping. Slow, consistent habits are way safer.
#15
Fighting. You don't need to be fighting.
Thanks to an endless marathon of home renovation shows, the idea of a "DIY home reno" has been romanticized into a fun, bonding weekend project. It’s sold as the ultimate act of self-sufficiency, turning a dated house into a perfect home with nothing but your own two hands and a can-do attitude.
The unfiltered truth, however, is often a nightmare of dust, debt, and despair. Projects invariably take three times as long and cost twice as much as you budgeted. The process is a known destroyer of relationships, and you are always just one misplaced swing of a sledgehammer away from accidentally taking out a load-bearing wall or a crucial water pipe.
Ultimately, this online thread might be worth reading a few times to let the messages really sink in. It’s a reminder that not every dream is meant to be lived, and some fantasies are best left on the bucket list, admired from a safe, comfortable distance.
Do you have some valuable advice to add? Share it in the comments!
#16
Becoming a content creator. You can be really, really good and never find your audience. There's some dark alchemy at play, that makes one person successful while an equally good creator perpetually struggles. And if someone says they have a roadmap for it, they're probably hustling you.
It's also a ton of work, and requires extreme personal discipline to consistently put that work in every single day. Again - it might all be for nothing.
The above only applies to people who are actually interesting or capable of creating compelling content. Most of the population frankly doesn't have a lot to offer in that space, but they'll still submit themselves to the struggle.
Note: No, I'm not a content creator, or failed content creator. I just know a lot of them.
#19
Major home renovations.
Television shows make it look easy, but ask any tradesperson what it takes to move a kitchen from one room to another, or how many man hours go into refinishing hardwood floors, or what's required to "make a doorway" in a brick wall, and you'll (hopefully) learn whether it's something you have the skills, time, and materials budget to manage. .
Bored Sailor 5 days ago
The shows do not show the whole crew in the background and the networks finances helping to make it look awesome and fun.
#20
Having a strong opinion about things that they have no actual working knowledge of.
#21
Binge drinking/ drinking to excess.
It’s even worse now with social media. Trust me, you’re being laughed at. No one thinks you’re funny.
Not advocating sobriety as much as moderation. .
Michael Largey 5 days ago
I'm moderate out of self-service rather than virtue. I simply find moderate drinking more enjoyable.
#22
Anything they do not personally want, but feel compelled to do due to societal expectations or peers insisting it is something either normal or mandatory.
If you don't feel like being in a relationship, but everyone else has a partner, it doesn't matter. You can be happy alone, but in any relationship you are not prepared for or feel only compelled to be in because of others, you'll be unhappy. Any recreational substances are another. You don't have to do anything to fit in or feel at ease. If you're around people whose company you enjoy, you don't need anything and they won't mind if you don't partake. "Milestones" or having children, doing activities that don't interest you or match your lifestyle, having popular items of attire or social status symbols, etc... Don't worry about it. There's a lot to be said about trying new things or getting out of your comfort zone, but I feel like that mindset is applied too broadly and to everyone in a very insistent manner. Sometimes, doing things you don't want is not a learning experience or broadening your experiences and interactions with others. Sometimes it's being bullied into compliance or feeling compelled by outside pressures to appease others at the cost of your own peace of mind and comfort.
#23
Going to Vegas. It's crowded, loud and you leave with less money then when you got there.
Source: living there over 10 years.
#24
Chronic overworking It's praised as ambition , but it quietly wrecks people.
Chich the witch 2 days ago
But its all worth it for the big thumbs up the boss gives you when they head home at 5, no?
#25
Retail management. Everyone thinks it's a ‘safe’ career step or a way to get leadership experience, but in reality, you just become a professional lightning rod for every Karen in a 50-mile radius while your soul slowly leaves your body through your ears.
#26
Riding horses.
If you're just doing it for the novelty, at least make sure you're with someone who REALLY knows what they're doing and takes care of them. And that you're not too heavy for the horse. Body positivity is not relevant at the expense of the well being of a horse's back.
And just because you've never ridden a horse doesn't mean you're missing out. They by and far most likely do not want you to ride them. If you don't see them as living beings that are more than something to use for one experience and some Instagram photos, pease find another toy to play with.
Lady Eowyn 13 hours ago
Riding is wonderful, with the right horse. I loved my horses for themselves, and actually spent more time just being with them than actually riding them. I miss my horses, R.I.P. Princess and Chief.
#27
Putting that household item in one of your orifices...
Michael Largey 5 days ago
I've been to dinners at people's homes where the most dangerous household item you could put in an orifice was a fork or spoon in your mouth.
#28
Handyman as a job. Most guys learn how to wire and outlet, buy a used set of tools and assume they'll make a business out of it. A lot of what I'm about to mention also ties into home DIY enthusiasts.
You WILL absolutely get ripped off working for 'friends and family' more often than not.
You will price out a job, ask reddit, and still end up in the hole.
You will complete a job, and then have to keep fixing your first fix.
You will start a job that quickly eclipses your skills.
You will start a simple job only to find one horror leading to another, turning it into an ordeal.
You will have clients try to scam you.
You will have clients offer to sleep with you for discounts or freebies, sorry miss but rearranging your guts for a few hours while you lay there isn't worth a few hundred; let alone the 4k you assume it is.
You will break something expensive. Possibly more than once.
You NEED insurance, otherwise one bad job will destroy your entire life.
You will also need health insurance, the stuff between walls and under floors, in crawl spaces and attics WILL hurt you. Maybe not today, but the piper gets paid.
You will skimp on PPE and regret it IMMENSELY at least once.
You will spend half of a job bouncing between the job, hardware stores, and spend the commute losing your mind or questioning existence.
You will run into a client who knows EVERYTHING and they will try and hover. This is the biggest red flag aside from arguing about pay.
You will run into other Handy Persons, who should not be allowed near a pair of safety scissors, let alone power tools.
You will go hungry. Stay hydrated.
You will tear your hands up on everything. From tools breaking, catching nails or screws you didn't see, to old piping or wiring in the wall that the mice must be sharpening to a razors edge. Stay up to date on tetanus and get a cheapo phone plug borescope with light.
You will decide that this is your last project. Regularly.
You will treat yourself to a little snacky-snack for making it this far, you've earned it.
You WILL NOT cut concrete or stone without proper PPE. The stuff you can get from that is just terrible.
You will shart at least once, due to eating junk and stressing on one project or another. Keep a gym bag with an extra outfit, travel deodorant and wash, with two pairs of socks and three underwear minimum. This is good advice in general.
You will absolutely end up with a client you hate. Inexplicably this client will pay rate, and have plenty of work for you on and off. This will not change your hatred.
Don't get me wrong, I started out with a Ryobi bag set and a mechanics chest from Craftsman. I quickly refused to do anything more complex than patch drywall or fix outlets/fixtures for friends. What I made in discount dollars was almost always a few bucks in the green after gas. As a working person, you need to make money; (almost) everyone is feeling a squeeze these days and charging a fair price to a friend or family member is hard. Quoting a job to a stranger and either signing the agreement or walking away is better.
DO NOT let clients argue with you. My prices are X per hour, tools and time are mine. You can cover parts and material if my quote is a little steep. I have had to buy tools for specific jobs that don't see much use, but I eat that cost because now if I ever need it I have it. Some clients will offer to help buy this tool or that thing, politely decline. I can accept gifts once the job is done, provided you are satisfied; gifts just muddy the water and turn into he said, she said often enough that I'm amazed we don't see more people complaining.
GET A BODYCAM, OR AT LEAST A BODY MIC.
You are a stranger in a strangers home, and without something to cover your back there is a very real risk of running into people who then try to hurt you. Sometimes it's boredom, or a misunderstanding. Sometimes it's malicious and evil. Doesn't matter what they say if I can slip them the SD card showing my every move.
BEWARE SECTION 8. A lot of places are very, very particular about who works on what. Not necessarily because your work is in question, but because they have an 'in' with a local guy or crew and split the cash. Other places have SO MUCH PAPERWORK. If you do need to work in housing just keep it low key. I have done plenty of little jobs for projects and housing around, and I've also been threatened, yelled at and had stuff thrown at me when caught. You also need to be mindful of every tool you own, because some people just cannot help themselves. They NEED to steal your stuff. Good locks and a small dashcam/alarm will save you.
LEARN WHERE THE SHUTOFFS ARE FIRST THING. Gas, electric, water, hot water. Not knowing will increase your expenses by the second as you scramble to turn off the water before a bathroom wall floods, or you need to shut off the gas because you broke an old corroded 90* working nearby. Obviously anything water related is -usually- right there on street, but double check just in case. I have run into more than one where the entire thing was full of dirt, wasps, spiders, bees, dead things, and in one case candy wrappers. I avoid apartment work because if I make a mistake, it will affect more people than I had an agreement with.
These days I work for cash, only take jobs I can do alone and get everything on paper prior. Always explain that if you do this job, and you find 'uh-oh's', that you can quote it out or leave. I have fixed things, taken my photos and left only to be called back out due to issues, and most of the time it wasn't my work. Have I messed up? YEAH. Never more than a few hundred bucks worth as of yet, but that has been thanks to insurance, and documentation. Pictures, video, emails, save it all. It is the shield that protects not only your back, but your livelihood as well.
TL;DR: You will mess up. You will need money enough to do the job AND fix any possible oopsie-doos you may run into. If you do want to do handy work, see if you can hire on with someone or a local racket to get a foundation. YouTube is good for a lot, but nothing beats experience.
(Edit: Thanks for the award and votes! This is my second [Edit2: now first highest!] highest voted comment! All of you are awesome. If you truly want to be a handyperson, don't let me scare you off. It's hard, and rough at times, but work is work and if its something you enjoy knuckle down.).
#29
Vaping, about 60% of kids at my school do it and they're all messed up but everyone still thinks it's so cool and admirable...go p****n your body I suppose I'm not having any part in it.
KatSaidThat 5 days ago
I vape because I smoked cigarettes for 35 years. Yes, I ingest more nicotine but no longer have a morning cough.
#30
Skydiving. Anxiety attacks are real.
Huddo's sister 5 days ago
I have wanted to do this, ever since my eye specialist told me I had an increased risk of retinal detachment if I go bungee jumping, so skydiving seemed like a compromise :) 35 and never done it, so chances are I never will.
#31
If you made it 21 years (for americans) without drinking or smoking, to me its russian roulette to start. Dependency is part genetic part environmental.
I understand most consider this unreasonable. To me its a risk reward thing. The risk, is you have alcoholic tendencies. The reward is what....a good night (maybe) amd a hangover?
Source - dependent and alcoholic.
Huddo's sister 5 days ago
As an Aussie, who drank underage (which is okayish, you just can't buy it), myself and most of my friends were pretty over the idea of binge drinking by the time we were 19. When we did do it, we didn't really go overboard anyway. I think the fact that most of our parents would allow us a drink or two when we were 16/17 made us think more about portion control.
#32
Gambling.
#33
Buying a property just to rent it out.
Glen Ellyn 5 days ago
Plenty of people do this while not knowing that being a landlord is more than just collecting the rent every month.
#34
Having unprotected intimate time (while unemployed) with another unemployed person. I am sure there are exceptions but as a rule….
KatSaidThat 5 days ago
Having unprotected intimate time with any new partner. Any guy that has refused to bag it up has been booted out. I don't give a f**k how uncomfortable they make you feel, pick your size better next time.
#35
Major home renovations with no construction experience. If you're getting advice from big box diy stores.....even worse. Anyone who has a clue what the standards are and proper material uses is making *a lot more* than an associate position pays. The money you think you're saving will be double/triple when a professional has to come fix it.
Edit: no hate for big box store associates here. Nothing but respect for anyone who earns an honest paycheque. It's just a level of knowledge gleaned from schooling and on-site experience that isn't available from them.
UnclePanda 5 days ago
My experience with hardware stores is that each department has one person with real content knowledge and some other people wearing the same shirt. Find that person and cultivate that relationship.
#37
Scuba diving on a cruise ship excursion where they teach you how to scuba right before you actually go scuba diving. Never. Again.
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