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Man Calls Out Wife For Not Tipping A Server After She Denied Her Request, Gets A Reality Check
Waitstaff depends on tips. They know it, their customers know it, and it’s often a huge part of what drives their interactions.
So after their server refused to take a picture of their table, Reddit user Specific_Bowler_3159 and his wife got into an argument about how it should affect their gratuity.
Ultimately, the woman decided that the waitress shouldn’t get anything at all, and the guy didn’t want to make a scene, so he let it go.
However, as time went by, he couldn’t help but feel like he should’ve taken a more proactive, and by extension, confrontational, stance.
He made a post on the subreddit ‘Am I the [Jerk]?‘ where he described the situation in greater detail and asked its members for advice.
RELATED:
This couple had different opinions on how much to tip their “rude” server
Image credits: Image-Source (not the actual photo)
And it left the husband with a sour taste in his mouth
Image credits: Prostock-studio (not the actual photo)
Image source: Specific_Bowler_3159
It’s difficult to come to a definitive verdict
Image credits: Jack Sparrow (not the actual photo)
Browsing the internet, you can find discussions about such a scenario with support and criticism for both camps. Similar to this couple, opinions are pretty much split.
Blogger and foodie Victoria Belle believes that ultimately, taking photos at a restaurant is all about how you conduct yourself.
“Whether you are just an average person, an influencer of some kind, or a professional photographer, just be thoughtful. Be kind and considerate of other restaurant guests and the restaurant staff,” she writes.
We can apply the same principle to the workers, too. Are they running between 15 tables? Helping in the kitchen? Did they refuse in a polite manner? If so, then perhaps there’s nothing we can accuse them of.
Recently, Hilton launched a program called the ‘Waitographer’ where they had hundreds of their staff members trained by a renowned photographer to ensure that they can capture their clients’ special memories.
This was done after the chain conducted its own research and found that half (50%) of respondents want more pictures with friends and family, but nearly two-fifths (38%) of snaps by waiters and waitresses are deemed ‘bad.’
However, it’s important to remember that not every establishment has the resources to do this, and some might even have internal policies that dissuade staff from taking up the camera in the first place.
So as with many everyday situations, common courtesy is what should guide you under these circumstances.
People, including those who’ve worked in the industry, mainly supported the man’s wife
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What do you think ?
Christian Golden 1 year ago
That seems a bit beyond the scope of the conversation. Though I agree.
Load More Replies...
ConstantlyJon 1 year ago
As a waiter....... just take the damn picture. The "that's not my job" culture is pretty rampant in the industry, but it usually only shows up in the back when there's sidework to be done. Normally I would never condone leaving someone zero tip. But if I said that to a guest, I'd expect no tip as well. That's just awful customer service. Expect good tips in return for great service. Expect bad tips in return for bad service. It's not that difficult to understand. OP is NTA because I understand he thinks his wife overreacted. Her being so blatantly angry about it is a bit much as well. But the server in my eyes is the real AH here.
Invisible Potato 1 year ago
tiping is not a mandatory, i have already paid for my food, and for the service, why would i pay again for the service i received? i dont tip in my country, noone is tiping in my country, sure, we round up (if its 189 we round ti to 200, or 589 to 600) but that all, noone gets 10%, 15% or 20%...
StumblingThroughLife 1 year ago (edited)
It's creeping into the UK, but isn't, thankfully, mandatory, as we have a nationwide min wage, which isn't perfect (The AVERAGE salary for Waiter/Waitress is £38,998 per year in the UK, but not for all, depending on age). The tip/service charge is also NOT on the restaurant bill. We can CHOOSE to tip. 100% blame the USA Employers (if it isn't in the USA, let me know and I'll delete that bit). But again, the wife's reasons were daft.
Load More Replies...
Christopher Crockett 1 year ago
I once didn't have the money to tip a server. He was attentive and kind, and I ended up having to leave him with nothing. Always felt awful about it too. A few months later, I got the same server and double tipped him, explaining what happened. He said he didn't even remember me, but was humbled that I remembered him. Another time, the waitress was rude to my girlfriend and I. I left her six cents. I wanted her to know that I didn't forget, but rather that I wasn't happy with her. I always make an effort to be polite and kind to the servers. They have a hard job and usually come through smiling. Manners are free.
Happy_Pandalover 1 year ago
Tipping is a sign to show gratitude to nice waiters/waitresses. If someone is rude (which i do think the lady was. Sure, it's not her job to take pictures, but it's her job to make her guests feel welcome. Taking a picture, showing them the toilet etc. is just a small favor to do and it doesn't seem like she was too busy to take a picture), then there is no reason for a tip. Of course the waitress could have been friendly other than that, but we can't really tell.
Skye Ragsdale 1 year ago
If you live in the US and have any issue with tipping, you better be supporting efforts for affordable wages.
Schmebulock 1 year ago
As someone who waited tables, the waitress was totally in the wrong and deserved a big fat $0.
Red_panda 1 year ago
I'm going against the grain here, but I am NEVER comfortable handling a strangers electronic device. These things can cost several THOUSAND dollars. If I drop it and break it, I can't replace it. People's entire lives are on their phones, if I pressed a wrong button accidentally so many things could go wrong. I could then be accused of theft if I accidentally ended up in a financial app. Sorry, not touching a customers phone, ever. But she definitely could have been more polite about it by saying something like "I apologize but I'm not comfortable handling your phone".
H. B. Nielsen 1 year ago (edited)
Phones are expensive, but are they really several thousand where you come from? I definitely understand where you're coming from though regarding the overall post.
Load More Replies...
Seán Hannan 1 year ago
If the story takes place in the USA, then a reduced tip would have registered displeasure without being an AH. If it was in a country where servers get paid actual money by their employers, then no tip is the right way to go, IMHO.
Nancy Whiting 1 year ago
That waitress provides table service for 5 people. Did she do the job she was actually hired to do well? That's what should count. If your wife wanted to short her a couple of bucks, maybe--but stiffing her whole tip on that big a ticket is BS.
Christian Golden 1 year ago
That seems a bit beyond the scope of the conversation. Though I agree.
Load More Replies... ConstantlyJon 1 year ago
As a waiter....... just take the damn picture. The "that's not my job" culture is pretty rampant in the industry, but it usually only shows up in the back when there's sidework to be done. Normally I would never condone leaving someone zero tip. But if I said that to a guest, I'd expect no tip as well. That's just awful customer service. Expect good tips in return for great service. Expect bad tips in return for bad service. It's not that difficult to understand. OP is NTA because I understand he thinks his wife overreacted. Her being so blatantly angry about it is a bit much as well. But the server in my eyes is the real AH here.
Invisible Potato 1 year ago
tiping is not a mandatory, i have already paid for my food, and for the service, why would i pay again for the service i received? i dont tip in my country, noone is tiping in my country, sure, we round up (if its 189 we round ti to 200, or 589 to 600) but that all, noone gets 10%, 15% or 20%...
StumblingThroughLife 1 year ago (edited)
It's creeping into the UK, but isn't, thankfully, mandatory, as we have a nationwide min wage, which isn't perfect (The AVERAGE salary for Waiter/Waitress is £38,998 per year in the UK, but not for all, depending on age). The tip/service charge is also NOT on the restaurant bill. We can CHOOSE to tip. 100% blame the USA Employers (if it isn't in the USA, let me know and I'll delete that bit). But again, the wife's reasons were daft.
Load More Replies... Christopher Crockett 1 year ago
I once didn't have the money to tip a server. He was attentive and kind, and I ended up having to leave him with nothing. Always felt awful about it too. A few months later, I got the same server and double tipped him, explaining what happened. He said he didn't even remember me, but was humbled that I remembered him. Another time, the waitress was rude to my girlfriend and I. I left her six cents. I wanted her to know that I didn't forget, but rather that I wasn't happy with her. I always make an effort to be polite and kind to the servers. They have a hard job and usually come through smiling. Manners are free.
Happy_Pandalover 1 year ago
Tipping is a sign to show gratitude to nice waiters/waitresses. If someone is rude (which i do think the lady was. Sure, it's not her job to take pictures, but it's her job to make her guests feel welcome. Taking a picture, showing them the toilet etc. is just a small favor to do and it doesn't seem like she was too busy to take a picture), then there is no reason for a tip. Of course the waitress could have been friendly other than that, but we can't really tell.
Skye Ragsdale 1 year ago
If you live in the US and have any issue with tipping, you better be supporting efforts for affordable wages.
Schmebulock 1 year ago
As someone who waited tables, the waitress was totally in the wrong and deserved a big fat $0.
Red_panda 1 year ago
I'm going against the grain here, but I am NEVER comfortable handling a strangers electronic device. These things can cost several THOUSAND dollars. If I drop it and break it, I can't replace it. People's entire lives are on their phones, if I pressed a wrong button accidentally so many things could go wrong. I could then be accused of theft if I accidentally ended up in a financial app. Sorry, not touching a customers phone, ever. But she definitely could have been more polite about it by saying something like "I apologize but I'm not comfortable handling your phone".
H. B. Nielsen 1 year ago (edited)
Phones are expensive, but are they really several thousand where you come from? I definitely understand where you're coming from though regarding the overall post.
Load More Replies... Seán Hannan 1 year ago
If the story takes place in the USA, then a reduced tip would have registered displeasure without being an AH. If it was in a country where servers get paid actual money by their employers, then no tip is the right way to go, IMHO.
Nancy Whiting 1 year ago
That waitress provides table service for 5 people. Did she do the job she was actually hired to do well? That's what should count. If your wife wanted to short her a couple of bucks, maybe--but stiffing her whole tip on that big a ticket is BS.
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