Woman Goes Off On Male Colleagues For Expecting A Homemade Dessert For A Potluck From Her

There is generally a clear distinction between professional behavior and whatever is normal at home. But workplaces can still conjure up their own expectations and rules, often unfair and rather dumb, that end up causing drama and headaches for all involved.

A woman asked the internet if she was wrong for bringing store bought treats to a company Christmas party as opposed to homemade like everyone else. When confronted, she pointed out that most people just had their wife or daughter cook for them. Netizens debated her point and discussed double standards in the workplace.

Most folks understand that it’s good to bring something to a workplace party

A young woman feeling left out at an office potluck, holding a red cup while others socialize in the background.

Image credits: freepik (not the actual image)

But one woman was tired of the expectation that it had to be “home made”

Text excerpt discussing office potluck store bought dessert drama and workplace treat expectations among female employees.

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Text on white background saying we had a potluck style party and I was assigned a dessert for office potluck store bought dessert drama.

Text describing office potluck store bought dessert drama with coworkers reacting to store-bought cupcakes versus homemade.

People holding cups of tea at an office potluck with store bought desserts and smartphones on the wooden table.

Image credits: pixel-shot.com (not the actual image)

Text excerpt discussing coworkers with homemade lunches contrasted with office potluck store-bought dessert drama opinions.

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Text on a white background discussing being single and referencing office potluck store bought dessert drama humorously.

Woman in apron slicing a store bought dessert in a home kitchen preparing for an office potluck event

Image credits: syda_productions (not the actual image)

Text discussing frustration with entitlement to do nothing at home, highlighting office potluck store bought dessert drama.

Text describing office potluck store bought dessert drama at work involving HR misunderstandings and resolving conflicts.

Person typing on a laptop with a coffee cup and phone nearby, illustrating office potluck store bought dessert drama.

Image credits: yeeuyeey

Many workplaces still give female employees “non-promotable” tasks

The modern workplace is a landscape filled with hidden landmines. You have the Reply All disaster and the accidental mute button fail. However, few professional hazards are as perilous or as strangely gendered as the office potluck. A recent story from Reddit highlights this perfectly. A young female engineer found herself targeted by the unspoken laws of corporate domesticity simply because she brought cupcakes from a grocery store.

The story is simple yet infuriating. A 22-year-old woman works in an office dominated by older men. During a potluck, she brought store-bought dessert. Her male colleagues criticized her for not baking something from scratch. This reaction reveals a pervasive and unfair expectation often placed on women in professional settings. This is the phenomenon of “Office Housework.”

Social scientists and economists have studied this dynamic extensively. Research demonstrates that women are overwhelmingly expected to perform non-promotable tasks at work. These tasks include planning parties, taking notes during meetings, and cleaning up the breakroom. The expectation is that women are naturally communal and nurturing. Therefore, a female engineer is not just seen as an engineer. She is seen as an engineer who should also possess the desire to bake bespoke pastries for her team.

The woman faced a double standard that was both hilarious and depressing. Her male coworkers felt entitled to comment on her culinary effort while having contributed zero effort themselves. When she asked the table who actually cooked their own dishes, silence followed. Their wives and daughters had done the work. The men were merely couriers of domestic labor performed by the women in their lives. This illustrates a concept known as the Second Shift. This sociological term describes the household labor performed in addition to paid work. The male coworkers benefit from a support system that handles this shift for them. They bring this entitlement into the office. They expected their young female colleague to perform the same role as their wives, despite her being their professional peer with her own full-time job.

Unfair expectations are a recipe for workplace drama

Her response was perhaps short sighted, but justifiably angry. She pointed out that she is single and does not have a “mail-order bride” to cook for her. While her comment about purchasing a spouse caused a minor HR stir, it was a necessary reality check. It exposed the absurdity of their demands. They wanted the benefits of a traditional homemaker from a modern female employee who has no such support system.

The reaction from the men suggests they were suffering from a severe lack of self-awareness. They viewed their wives’ labor as their own accomplishment. When the female engineer bought cupcakes, she was honest about her available time and energy. When the men brought homemade lasagna prepared by their spouses, they were claiming credit for work they did not do. This story serves as a cautionary tale for workplace culture. We must stop expecting women to be the default social coordinators and bakers of the office. A study on office housekeeping suggests that managers need to rotate these low-value tasks or outsource them entirely to prevent gender bias.

The young engineer was not wrong for buying cupcakes. She was efficient. The true problem lies in the archaic idea that possessing two X chromosomes automatically comes with a passion for baking. If a company wants homemade goods, they should hire a caterer. Until then, everyone should be grateful for the cupcakes. They are delicious, cost-effective, and require zero unpaid labor from the only woman on the engineering team. In the future, perhaps the best contribution to a toxic potluck is a stack of paper napkins. No one can complain that you did not make the napkins yourself. Well, hopefully not.

She reacted to a few comments

Text conversation about office potluck store bought dessert drama and dealing with sexism in the workplace.

Screenshot of an online discussion about office potluck store-bought dessert drama and workplace communication challenges.

Most thought she raised a valid point

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Reddit comment discussing the drama around bringing a store-bought dessert to an office potluck.

Comment discussing office potluck store bought dessert drama and gender role expectations in workplace gatherings.

Text post about office potluck dessert drama sharing a story of store-bought vs homemade treats at work.

Comment from Windblast86 on office potluck store bought dessert drama, stating coworkers can make homemade desserts themselves if they want.

Anonymous user commenting that coworkers are rude and nosy despite the effort of bringing a store-bought dessert to the office potluck.

Reddit comment discussing office potluck store bought dessert drama and sexism in expectations for homemade dishes.

Comment explaining office potluck drama over store bought desserts and how participation should be voluntary without assigning dishes

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Comment on office potluck store bought dessert drama defending bringing store-bought dessert as acceptable and time-saving.

Screenshot of a Reddit comment defending a store-bought dessert choice in office potluck drama context.

User comment discussing mixed feelings about store bought and homemade desserts at office potluck during flu season, avoiding dessert drama.

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Office potluck tension over store bought dessert sparks drama among coworkers during casual gathering.

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Commenter anon disagrees, stating being a woman doesn’t obligate baking, and HR should address office potluck dessert drama.

Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing office potluck and reactions to store-bought dessert drama among coworkers.

User comment discussing office potluck drama, expressing preference for store-bought desserts over homemade treats at work events.

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Commenter anon responding to a discussion about office potluck store bought dessert drama with cooking show suggestion.

Others thought she sounded too bitter

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Comment advising to shrug off office potluck store-bought dessert drama, suggesting some were joking and participation was minimal.

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Comment discussing the office potluck store bought dessert drama and challenging sexist assumptions about cooking.

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