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Sometimes the biggest red flags come wrapped in kindness. Have you ever noticed how certain “sweet” gestures can actually hide controlling or manipulative behavior? Pandas, what’s a red flag people often ignore because it looks nice on the surface?
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#1
I think the jealousy thing gets played off as cute in the media but it can be really toxic depending on the situation. Trust is very important.
I have never understood the need to "make them jealous" or the "aww you're jealous?" but that's just a personal opinion.
Final score:
13points
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#2
Being a mama's boy. While it is sweet that they love their mother, some take it too far and don't give any time to their significant or will let the mother in law win every time, despite the circumstances.
Final score:
11points
TheMFKNXerdo 1 month ago
This is an issue for me, because I am the main caretaker and support of my mother in her late eighties, but many potential partners just see "mama's boy" and judge and disappear. Still wouldn't trade it for anything.
#3
Children being forced to kiss or hug adults when it is clear they don't want to do so. Children have the absolute right NOT to have someone in their personal space if they wish.....
Final score:
11points
Juls 1 month ago
I find this particularly happens to little girls. I've had relatives try to force their little girls to hug me. I always say, "No, that's fine. If she doesn't feel like being touched right now, that's absolutely fine." Some people teach their little girls to be people pleasers and to not have body autonomy from a very young age.
#4
I worry when one partner can't keep their hands off the other, so they are seldom more than an arm's length apart. Sure, newly-formed couples are touchy-feely, but they must give each other enough space to be people in their own right.
Final score:
8points
#5
Jealousy. At first it can come off as being protective. Like, "I am worried about you with your friends, they drink" and soon it becomes "I don't want you to see your friends".
Final score:
8points
#6
One partner too dependent on the other. Becomes a burden in the end.
Final score:
8points
#7
Apologies. Don't get me wrong, a heartfelt apology is a very good thing. But in situations of ab**e, a seemingly heartfelt apology can be part of the ab**e cycle. A narcissist will apologize when they go too far and fear they are going to lose someone who is useful to them. They'll apologize, buy you gifts, etc until they get you back, then it's right back to negative behavior. People who ab**e their spouse will apologize so sweetly that you'd think they'd never hurt anyone again, until they do.
Final score:
8points
#8
Love-bombing.
All of a sudden, somebody you don't know very well starts being overly nice to you: offering help, making lots of compliments, giving expensive gifts, treating you like a royalty. Something feels off but your ego is inflated and falls for it, and you ignore the red flag.
Once you have developed a cognitive blind-spot for them, you are trapped. That person can now use and manipulate you at will, and to your dismay, they soon turn out to be toxic and a*****e. And it takes time (often years) until you manage to set yourself free.
Perhaps there are "harmless" love-bombing; but honestly, I've never seen one.
Final score:
7points
#9
It is sweet when your partner buys you a present, then you unwrap it only to find you have been given a Chinese National flag.
Final score:
6points
Rachel Reynolds 1 month ago
Yeah that's a big red flag. On the other hand if they get you the Swiss flag, that's a big plus.
#11
Being dismissive of your opinions and tastes to the point where they're being borderline insulting.
Final score:
4points
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What do you think ?
Kiki Likes Sweets 1 month ago
Having a " community " section on BP, but refusing to post any questions from community members and only posting ones by BP staff?
Kiki Likes Sweets 1 month ago
Having a " community " section on BP, but refusing to post any questions from community members and only posting ones by BP staff?
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