A friend of my dad won a lifetime subscription to a magazine. He was quick to point out that "lifetime" referred to the lifetime of the magazine, not him. He's outlived the publication by a few decades and counting.

My brother was coming to town and needed a place to stay. I offered him my couch ( its a big three-seater and pretty comfy). When he got home he made a podcast and talked about how terrible it was sleeping on my couch. Get a motel next time then you cheap ungrateful d**k!

She acted like an entitled restaurant patron, in my home.

She spent the night because her divorce was uncomfortable and contentious. She didn’t want to go home to her husband’s house, and didn’t have any family in this country. So she was couch surfing.

My selection of tea wasn’t big enough, and the grape jelly I had wasn’t as nice as an assortment of jams. She ate the pancakes despite them not being her favorite, and was really surprised I didn’t have a waffle iron. She didn’t complain about the breakfast sausage, and I did the eggs for her, my husband and me as we each wanted them anyway. Then she raided our pantry for snacks to take with her before she left.

She wasn’t couch surfing... she was wearing out her welcome very quickly at every friend’s house she went to. She was a nightmare when we helped her move to a sketchy apartment, and then again to a less sketchy place . She was just all take and no give in general, and stopped reaching out when my husband and I stopped giving.

I gave up my bedroom to my stepson and his girlfriend when they visited. I am a non smoker, and it’s literally the only room in the house that is smoke free. I asked her to step outside to smoke, not a big inconvenience since there’s a sliding door that goes from the bedroom to the lanai. I also asked her not to take food to the bedroom, because ants are a real problem in Florida. I could smell when she lit up a cigarette but I didn’t say s**t to her. Figured she’d walk outside to put it out. Went into the room to grab shoes, and I noticed the little porcelain tray wasn’t on my nightstand so I looked around for it. It was shoved under the bed with her cigarette butt in it. Along with my cream colored throw rug and a bath towel. Turns out she took chocolate milk to the bedroom, knocked it over onto the rug, then grabbed a towel to try to clean it up. Instead of bringing it to the laundry room, she wadded everything up and hid it under the bed. I went off, and she convinced him to leave three days early. That’s the last time I give my room to the fat, spoiled b***h.

Stole $100. But this story has a happy ending.

When I was young I had three friends over, all of them brothers. The oldest was my age, the middle was a couple years younger (same age as my brother), and they had brought their youngest brother with them. He was a little b***h.

Well that day my dad let me hang onto a $100 bill because I thought it was cool and had never seen one. I showed it off to my friends and left it on my side table. I didn't even notice it go missing.

Well, here's how the story goes. My friends had left, and when they got near their house, the youngest brother pulled out the $100 and said "hey guys, look what I took." The two older brothers got *pissed.* They dragged him crying all the way back to my house, handed me the $100 that I hadn't even realized was missing, and forced him to apologize. Friends of integrity right there.

Picked up my very small poodle, held her on her back with two hands over a 10 ft balcony. If my dog would’ve even wiggled, she would’ve fallen to her death.

Neighbour and my dad were talking in the living room when they both watched his son knock chocolates all over an expensive carpet. The neighbour then let my 60 year old dad get on his hands and knees to fish around 20 chocolates without helping and continuing the conversation as though it hadn't happened.

This was the same neighbour who let his son knock glass baubles off our Christmas tree and didn't apologise.

It was the same neighbour who asked my mum to pick up bottled water and wine from the shop for a party she wasn't even invited to.

It was all the subtle things that make you think "you're a bit of a d**k, aren't you?"

Then..

It was the same neighbour (who lived above us) that didn't come around to look at the damage his broken boiler had done when the water drenched our very large bookcase and then seeped to the floor below to our kitchen.

He and his wife were the same neighbours who asked us, the first time we had met, when we were moving out because they wanted to buy the entire house. He tried to buy it 5 years later but we rejected his bid, waiting for a higher bidder which came the next day.

Male friend asked that my partner and I take ourselves and our <12 month old daughter to a motel for a night whilst he uses our house to try his luck with one of our female friends we invited over for a game night.

My 10-year-old distant cousin unwrapped 3 new bars of soap and flushed them down the toilet on the 3rd floor of my house. That night, we returned from dinner to find water dripping from the ceiling on the *first* floor—the third floor bathroom had flooded and the water leaked through the floor, dripped from the ceiling of the second floor, and leaked though to the ceiling of the first floor. the whole mess cost thousands of dollars to repair.

the kid confessed everything with great glee and his mother just thought it was the funniest thing.

Stole money from our engagement cards, at our house, during our engagement party.