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13
Colin Farrell Reveals Why He Made The Heartbreaking Decision To Place His Son In Long-Term Care
Actor Colin Farrell has shared a deeply personal and hard decision regarding the future of his 21-year-old son, James, who lives with Angelman syndrome, a rare neurological condition.
In an interview with Candis magazine, the 48-year-old actor revealed that he and James’ mother, Kim Bordenave, have made plans to place their son into a long-term care facility—in fear of what will happen when they are no longer alive.
Highlights
- Colin Farrell and his ex-partner are preparing for their son James’s future by finding a long-term care facility.
- James, 21, lives with a rare genetic disorder that causes developmental delays, seizures, and speech impairments.
- Farrell opens up about the highs and lows of raising a child with special needs.
“Some parents will say, ‘I want to take care of my child myself.’ And I respect that,” Farrel explained. “But my horror would be… What if I have a heart attack tomorrow, and, God forbid, James’s mother, Kim, has a car crash and she’s taken too—and then James is on his own?”
The actor said that he opted to make the decision now, rather than wait for the worst to happen and being unable to decide where his son ends up, and what type of care he receives.
RELATED:
Colin Farrell shared that he made the difficult decision to place his disabled son in long-term care
Image credits: Neilson Barnard/Getty Images
“Then he’s a ward of the state and he goes where? We’d have no say in it,” the actor continued.
Farrell and Bordenave, who dated from 2001 to 2003, are now actively searching for a facility that can offer James both stability and a sense of belonging. “We want him to find somewhere where he can have a full and happy life, where he feels connected,” Farrell added.
James was diagnosed with Angelman syndrome at two and a half years old, after initially being misdiagnosed with cerebral palsy.
Image credits: kimbordenave
“He couldn’t sit up. He wasn’t crawling. I think he was a year and a half when we took him to get really checked out, and he was diagnosed as having cerebral palsy,” the actor recalled.
Kids showing developmental delays are commonly thought to have cerebral palsy. Both conditions share similar symptoms, but differ in their underlying causes.
Image credits: People
Cerebral palsy is a non-progressive motor disorder caused by brain injury, resulting in motor impairments like poor balance, difficulty with coordination, and muscle weakness.
On the other hand, Angelman Syndrome is caused by a genetic mutation of a specific gene—UBE3A—and comes with additional behavioral symptoms like seizures, frequent laughing, and speech problems.
Angelman Syndrome’s most notable symptom is its patients tendency to spontaneously laugh and be excited
Image credits: People
“That was a downer for sure,” Farrell said of the initial diagnosis, but then James displayed the characteristic frequent, spontaneous laughter present in patients with Angelman syndrome.
“The doctor saw that James was laughing a lot and doing this movement—he waves his hands,” Farrell explained.
Image credits: People
Unlike conditions such as Autism Spectrum Disorder, which are diagnosed through clinical observation, Angelman Syndrome requires thorough genetic testing using either blood or saliva samples.
These tests identify problems with the UBE3A gene, and are able to accurately confirm the diagnosis.
Image credits: People
At 21, James is nonverbal and requires round-the-clock support for daily activities, making regular, specialized monitoring necessary to ensure his well-being. “I’ve been in the back of ambulances, I’ve been in the hospital with him,” Farrell said.
“Thankfully, James hasn’t had a breakthrough seizure now in about 10 or 11 years.”
For the actor, sharing his experience with James is a way to connect with parents going through similar struggles
Image credits: kimbordenave
Managing James’ health involves intensive caregiving and medical management, which the actor illustrated by sharing an anecdote about one of his son’s most severe seizures.
“I’ve done Diastat (also known as Valium, a sedative) up his rectum to get him out of a seizure that lasted longer than three minutes,” the actor shared. “Finding the right amount of medication that doesn’t have adverse effects—that’s all very tricky business.”
Image credits: Bauer-Griffin/Getty Images
Despite the challenges, Farrell was proud to announce that his son was made meaningful progress.
“When he started feeding himself for the first time, his face looked like a Jackson Pollock by the end of it,” he laughed. “But he gets it in. He feeds himself beautifully. I’m proud of him every day, because I just think he’s magic.”
Image credits: kimbordenave
One such magical moment was the powerful memory of James taking his first steps just before his fourth birthday.
Image credits: kimbordenave
“It was so profound,” he told People Magazine. “I’ll never forget just the face of determination on him as he walked toward me. He took, like, six steps, and I burst into tears.”
Image credits: Jeff Kravitz/Getty Images
For Farrell, sharing James’ triumphs and challenges has an important objective: inspiring other parents going through the same ordeals to be strong.
“When you’re the parent of a child with special needs, it’s important to feel that you’re not alone,” he said.
“Great parenting.” Netizens took to social media to reflect on Farrell’s difficult decision
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Catlady6000 8 months ago
ATTENTION BORED PANDA: This is the kind of celebrity news we need. I would rather know how Mr. Farrell "s son is doing and that his future is being taken care of, than anything about Kanye. It's bittersweet, heartwarming, informative, reassuring, helpful. I know there are other stories similar where we can see the love, be informed and encouraged. There are humorous, sad, heartbreaking, wonderful stories out there. Mr. Farrell made this one easy by making the announcement himself, others may take a little extra work. The attention hounds are just low hanging fruit for the lazy. Please more like this one. Great job, Abel!!!
Child of the Stars 8 months ago
I can only imagine how difficult this was for all of them. My parents have some friends who made a similar decision for their son, who suffers from schizophrenia and bi-polar disorder.
John Tunnicliffe 8 months ago
An almost impossible decision to make but having had the honour of working with children with special needs and/or terminal illnesses, it is the right decision.
Heather Murphy 8 months ago
This is a wise and respectable choice . I work in the developmental disabilities field, and so many disabled individuals wind up in hospital emergency rooms, nursing homes, or other inappropriate settings for their needs because their caregiver dies or becomes incapacitated,
Angela B 8 months ago (edited)
What amazing parents they are. Being a 24/7 Carer is HARD and this would have been a tough decision to make. As a side note, I genuinely hope that parents and son find the the LTC place that they are all comfortable with. It can be extremely difficult, to know a person's care and personality inside out upside down and back to front, and then, being able to stand back and allow others to do the care. I wish the family nothing but the very best. Always.
Mi So 8 months ago
Such an important conversation to be having, that doesn’t often come up, especially in a positive context. I have huge respect for Colin Farrell for talking about the difficult decisions that often need to be made by parents of disabled children with a lot of care needs, especially as those children become adults themselves. Knowing how he has spoken of his son with such love & caring, I’m sure this has been such a heartbreaking decision, to not have him at home but it’s also a smart decision. It’s a way of giving his son independence from his parents within safe limits of his abilities & meeting care requirements. His parents aren’t abandoning him; they are preparing him for life without them, when that time comes, while they are still there to love him, to visit, & to help him adjust.
person (i think) 8 months ago
My best friends little brother is _severely_ developmentally disabled. He is now ~38 and his elderly parents insist on caring for him. They don’t do a great job and he would be better off in a home with other guys like him, but they refuse to even consider it. It is sad because it has held him back further and robbed him of socialization. I feel like their desire to martyr themselves trumps what is good for him. (Note: I have known them and him for 35 years so this is the case for them. I am not claiming this is the case for everyone!)
Another Panda 8 months ago (edited)
1000% respect. This is a difficult, heartbreaking decision for parents, but in the long run will prevent tragedy for their child. I’ve personally seen the difference in the child’s adult life when the parent, absolutely loving their child but not wanting to have them separated from the home, and children whose parents make this tough decision. As a parent, your job is to raise the child into someone who can function on their own, alone, in society, when you are gone. It is absolutely disastrous when loving parents, wanting to protect a high needs child, hold onto making the decisions for them, caring for them, correcting their errors, to the point where either the elderly parent can no longer care for them, but still can’t bring themselves to let help their adult child find a good care home, or worse, when the parents die and the adult child has not options. Both lead to immense depression for the person, possible terrible living conditions, or early demise. Thank you both for putting your son’s longterm needs first.
Christos Arvanitis 8 months ago
The only parallel that I have to this is when we made the decision to have my mother live in a memory care facility because of her dementia and deteriorating physical condition. Prior to that, she lived in the downstairs apartment of our house. She was a bit sad to be going but once she got there... she thrived. Being around other people and having lots of activities can be really helpful. I hope that his son benefits from the same.
Catlady6000 8 months ago
ATTENTION BORED PANDA: This is the kind of celebrity news we need. I would rather know how Mr. Farrell "s son is doing and that his future is being taken care of, than anything about Kanye. It's bittersweet, heartwarming, informative, reassuring, helpful. I know there are other stories similar where we can see the love, be informed and encouraged. There are humorous, sad, heartbreaking, wonderful stories out there. Mr. Farrell made this one easy by making the announcement himself, others may take a little extra work. The attention hounds are just low hanging fruit for the lazy. Please more like this one. Great job, Abel!!!
Child of the Stars 8 months ago
I can only imagine how difficult this was for all of them. My parents have some friends who made a similar decision for their son, who suffers from schizophrenia and bi-polar disorder.
John Tunnicliffe 8 months ago
An almost impossible decision to make but having had the honour of working with children with special needs and/or terminal illnesses, it is the right decision.
Heather Murphy 8 months ago
This is a wise and respectable choice . I work in the developmental disabilities field, and so many disabled individuals wind up in hospital emergency rooms, nursing homes, or other inappropriate settings for their needs because their caregiver dies or becomes incapacitated,
Angela B 8 months ago (edited)
What amazing parents they are. Being a 24/7 Carer is HARD and this would have been a tough decision to make. As a side note, I genuinely hope that parents and son find the the LTC place that they are all comfortable with. It can be extremely difficult, to know a person's care and personality inside out upside down and back to front, and then, being able to stand back and allow others to do the care. I wish the family nothing but the very best. Always.
Mi So 8 months ago
Such an important conversation to be having, that doesn’t often come up, especially in a positive context. I have huge respect for Colin Farrell for talking about the difficult decisions that often need to be made by parents of disabled children with a lot of care needs, especially as those children become adults themselves. Knowing how he has spoken of his son with such love & caring, I’m sure this has been such a heartbreaking decision, to not have him at home but it’s also a smart decision. It’s a way of giving his son independence from his parents within safe limits of his abilities & meeting care requirements. His parents aren’t abandoning him; they are preparing him for life without them, when that time comes, while they are still there to love him, to visit, & to help him adjust.
person (i think) 8 months ago
My best friends little brother is _severely_ developmentally disabled. He is now ~38 and his elderly parents insist on caring for him. They don’t do a great job and he would be better off in a home with other guys like him, but they refuse to even consider it. It is sad because it has held him back further and robbed him of socialization. I feel like their desire to martyr themselves trumps what is good for him. (Note: I have known them and him for 35 years so this is the case for them. I am not claiming this is the case for everyone!)
Another Panda 8 months ago (edited)
1000% respect. This is a difficult, heartbreaking decision for parents, but in the long run will prevent tragedy for their child. I’ve personally seen the difference in the child’s adult life when the parent, absolutely loving their child but not wanting to have them separated from the home, and children whose parents make this tough decision. As a parent, your job is to raise the child into someone who can function on their own, alone, in society, when you are gone. It is absolutely disastrous when loving parents, wanting to protect a high needs child, hold onto making the decisions for them, caring for them, correcting their errors, to the point where either the elderly parent can no longer care for them, but still can’t bring themselves to let help their adult child find a good care home, or worse, when the parents die and the adult child has not options. Both lead to immense depression for the person, possible terrible living conditions, or early demise. Thank you both for putting your son’s longterm needs first.
Christos Arvanitis 8 months ago
The only parallel that I have to this is when we made the decision to have my mother live in a memory care facility because of her dementia and deteriorating physical condition. Prior to that, she lived in the downstairs apartment of our house. She was a bit sad to be going but once she got there... she thrived. Being around other people and having lots of activities can be really helpful. I hope that his son benefits from the same.
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