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New Dad Disappears Overnight For Halloween Party, Comes Back Next Afternoon Like Nothing Happened
Becoming a father can be challenging. According to the Australian Centre for Perinatal Psychology, 39% of first-time fathers of children under 12 months experience high psychological distress. Some might cope in healthy ways; others – in questionable ones.
This new father wanted a night off with his friends on Halloween, but didn’t come back home for 18 hours. Worried out of her mind and furious after he came back and didn’t see the big deal with it, his wife asked people online if she was right to be mad. According to her, he could have at least texted or called.
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A young mom was left to fend for herself when her boyfriend went to party for 18 hours on Halloween
Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)
He didn’t think he did anything wrong, so, the woman looked for support online
Image credits: stokkete / envatoelements (not the actual photo)
Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)
Image credits: LeadingMedicine9571
In an update, the woman revealed what she had finally decided to do
The young mom posted some comments under her post that made it clearer that the boyfriend probably doesn’t respect her as a partner. Some time later, she edited her post and added an update. It looks like she decided to walk out and leave the father of her child.
“It wasn’t just the comments that led me to this decision — it’s also the way he’s been talking to me over the past week,” u/LeadingMedicine9571 wrote. “I’ve come to the realization that I need to leave him although I’ve known that several times, I just wasn’t so passionate about it until now.”
The Redditor claims her boyfriend used to talk down to her and treat her less than desirably. Still, she thought she could stay and work it out. However, putting the whole story in writing and rereading it gave her clarity. “I honestly just felt stupid. I can’t stand his presence half the time anymore.”
“He’s constantly muttering insults under his breath every time I ask him to do something,” the woman also added. “I’m more mature than he is, and I can’t keep maturing while having to drag him along and wait for him to do the same.” Still, her self-esteem seems to be intact, as she believes there is a person out there who will treat her “five times better than he does.”
The way her boyfriend talks about his past relationship also made her feel hurt and insecure. “[It] made me realize I was his second choice, and he treats me like it,” the woman wrote.
“I do feel guilt, though, because our baby loves him so much and always smiles and coos at him, and I don’t want to take that away from either of them,” she explained her inner conflict. “I’m not sure how my family will react, but I think my mom will be on my side once I tell her the truth about a few things I reshaped so she’d like him.”
Parents should take mental health breaks, but with respect to their partners and children
Raising a newborn is stressful and takes a toll on both parents. That’s why experts say that taking breaks is essential – for both parents. Psychologist Jeff Temple uses the oxygen mask analogy. “If you run out of oxygen, you’re of no use to your fellow passengers,” he says. “If you don’t take care of yourself, you’ll be a less effective parent and more prone to burnout and lashing out.”
Going out with your friends can be a form of self-care and “me time,” but it’s important to remember your responsibilities as a parent. Experts say that even 30-minute breaks can help blow off steam and make a parent feel like themselves again.
“A few minutes outside in the sunlight, drinking a cup of coffee or writing in a journal can work too,” child psychiatrist Dr. Stuart Lustig says. “Setting a timer and concentrating on your breathing for a minute or two can help kick start creativity and focus.”
However, when a mental health break turns into a wild night out without consideration for your partner, it can be more problematic. All parents need time for themselves, but there’s a difference between giving yourself time to breathe and running away from your responsibilities.
From her other comments, it became clear that the couple had a lot of trouble before
“He showed you loud and clear what his priorities are,” commenters dragged the BF
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What do you think ?
Sara Frazer 10 hours ago
Sorry but I gotta agree with the "babies having babies" comments- coming from someone who was pregnant at 18 (the father was 18 too). I'll never regret my daughter but having a kid so young was a HUGE fúckup. Back then I thought I was so smart, thought I had my life figured out and the ex and I would have a happy family, get married and buy a house immediately...yeah he left me (and our daughter!!!) for a girl he partied with. At 19 with a newborn I thought I knew everything and had my life figured out...now, 3 days shy of my 32nd birthday, I don't know what the f I'm doing 😂🥲
LakotaWolf (she/her) 6 hours ago
I am 43 now and I can look back mentally on how I was at 18-20ish and there's no way I would have been ready for a child! XD I do feel bad for OP - but also frustrated with her; it also sort of bothered me that she said repeatedly that she can't leave her boyfriend because she can't afford rent herself, but also said in another comment that she "wouldn't have had this baby if she couldn't provide for it". By her own statements, she CAN'T provide for it. She and her baby are reliant on her slimeball boyfriend. It sounds like you actually had a better life plan than OP does ;) Happy early birthday!
Load More Replies...
FreeTheUnicorn 9 hours ago
If you don't trust your partner, that's break up worthy. OP doesn't trust her partner and they aren't talking it through, doesn't sound like there's any reason to think the relationship is ok
Emilu 10 hours ago (edited)
Scientifically neither of them -- but especially the BF's -- brain would be fully developed. So yes, while they're legal adults and whatnot, that doesn't actually mean that they're *mature* enough to have babies. Unfortunately it looks like OP found this out the hard way. Edit: Err, downvoter; do your research. It's proven by science. Check yourself before you wreck yourself.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 35 minutes ago
Having once been 19/20 years old myself, I can provide peer*-reviewed evidence that my frontal lobe ABSOLUTELY wasn't developed at that age XD (*said peers are my family, haha.) That's not to say that every single 20-year-old isn't ready to be a mother/isn't mature enough (and same for 22-year-old baby daddy WHO ALREADY HAD ANOTHER KID WHEN HE WAS 18), but it seems like, unfortunately, both OP and her bf were NOT actually ready/mature enough to be parents. There'll always be the inevitable screecher who starts yelling about how "back in the day", humans had offspring very young in life, but back then, we literally lived in closer-knit groups/extended families/villages where there would be family/other people to help you raise the child. In the modern world, a lot of us move far from our families for college or work (or have gone LC/NC with cruddy family members), and we don't have any support system. That makes it not the best time to have a child, especially an unplanned one :(
Load More Replies...
Kate Johnson 3 hours ago
One thing is for sure, she needs to realize he's likely to be little help when it comes to this baby. She's likely on her own for this and needs to plan accordingly. I doubt he's even good for a child support check.
sturmwesen 4 hours ago
UPDATE: The post is 11days old. Right know OP has decided to save money and breakup. I guess we all know she doesn't necessarily breakup for real though.
Crystalwitch60 16 minutes ago
Wow that puzzlehead one is way outta line ,wouldn’t wanna be her kids that for sure , eugh , as for them saying unless ur married , that doesn’t guarantee fu k all does it , I was married and 35 when I had my first m 39 with second , been divorced 14 yrs ,after he cheated with a co worker from a diff country ffs , marriage means nothing at all anymore , n this lad sounds like a right immature nasty pos , I’d begone to. In fact I was ,at 19. Thankfully no kids in that marriage , this is another I need an update to , to see how ops doing ,xx going it alone , is tbh a lot easier that staying together for the sake of the child , that NEVER works well ,plus kids will pick up on it as they get older x
Sara Frazer 10 hours ago
Sorry but I gotta agree with the "babies having babies" comments- coming from someone who was pregnant at 18 (the father was 18 too). I'll never regret my daughter but having a kid so young was a HUGE fúckup. Back then I thought I was so smart, thought I had my life figured out and the ex and I would have a happy family, get married and buy a house immediately...yeah he left me (and our daughter!!!) for a girl he partied with. At 19 with a newborn I thought I knew everything and had my life figured out...now, 3 days shy of my 32nd birthday, I don't know what the f I'm doing 😂🥲
LakotaWolf (she/her) 6 hours ago
I am 43 now and I can look back mentally on how I was at 18-20ish and there's no way I would have been ready for a child! XD I do feel bad for OP - but also frustrated with her; it also sort of bothered me that she said repeatedly that she can't leave her boyfriend because she can't afford rent herself, but also said in another comment that she "wouldn't have had this baby if she couldn't provide for it". By her own statements, she CAN'T provide for it. She and her baby are reliant on her slimeball boyfriend. It sounds like you actually had a better life plan than OP does ;) Happy early birthday!
Load More Replies... FreeTheUnicorn 9 hours ago
If you don't trust your partner, that's break up worthy. OP doesn't trust her partner and they aren't talking it through, doesn't sound like there's any reason to think the relationship is ok
Emilu 10 hours ago (edited)
Scientifically neither of them -- but especially the BF's -- brain would be fully developed. So yes, while they're legal adults and whatnot, that doesn't actually mean that they're *mature* enough to have babies. Unfortunately it looks like OP found this out the hard way. Edit: Err, downvoter; do your research. It's proven by science. Check yourself before you wreck yourself.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 35 minutes ago
Having once been 19/20 years old myself, I can provide peer*-reviewed evidence that my frontal lobe ABSOLUTELY wasn't developed at that age XD (*said peers are my family, haha.) That's not to say that every single 20-year-old isn't ready to be a mother/isn't mature enough (and same for 22-year-old baby daddy WHO ALREADY HAD ANOTHER KID WHEN HE WAS 18), but it seems like, unfortunately, both OP and her bf were NOT actually ready/mature enough to be parents. There'll always be the inevitable screecher who starts yelling about how "back in the day", humans had offspring very young in life, but back then, we literally lived in closer-knit groups/extended families/villages where there would be family/other people to help you raise the child. In the modern world, a lot of us move far from our families for college or work (or have gone LC/NC with cruddy family members), and we don't have any support system. That makes it not the best time to have a child, especially an unplanned one :(
Load More Replies... Kate Johnson 3 hours ago
One thing is for sure, she needs to realize he's likely to be little help when it comes to this baby. She's likely on her own for this and needs to plan accordingly. I doubt he's even good for a child support check.
sturmwesen 4 hours ago
UPDATE: The post is 11days old. Right know OP has decided to save money and breakup. I guess we all know she doesn't necessarily breakup for real though.
Crystalwitch60 16 minutes ago
Wow that puzzlehead one is way outta line ,wouldn’t wanna be her kids that for sure , eugh , as for them saying unless ur married , that doesn’t guarantee fu k all does it , I was married and 35 when I had my first m 39 with second , been divorced 14 yrs ,after he cheated with a co worker from a diff country ffs , marriage means nothing at all anymore , n this lad sounds like a right immature nasty pos , I’d begone to. In fact I was ,at 19. Thankfully no kids in that marriage , this is another I need an update to , to see how ops doing ,xx going it alone , is tbh a lot easier that staying together for the sake of the child , that NEVER works well ,plus kids will pick up on it as they get older x
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