Get Premium
Dark mode theme is available exclusively for premium users. Learn more about the benefits of subscribing.
No fees, cancel anytime.
Dark Mode 
No fees, cancel anytime 
then open in external browser
and click "Open in External Browser" 
18
Guy Shocked GF Rejected His Proposal As He Thought Everything Was Fine, Internet Points Out Red Flags
Messing up an anniversary for a long-term relationship is a classic rookie mistake, particularly when your partner has already given you a pretty good idea of what they like and dislike. But never put it past someone to find new ways to disappoint.
A man asked the internet if he was wrong for wanting his girlfriend to cook their anniversary dinner instead of him taking her out. On the one hand, she was, allegedly, an incredible cook, on the other hand, she had already stated she didn’t want to be his personal chef. After looking through everything people online told him, he talked to her and then shared an update.
RELATED:
Having a partner who can cook is normally a blessing
Image credits: guyswhoshoot/Envato (not the actual photo)
But one man thought this was enough to not even go out for their anniversary
Image credits: Iakobchuk/Envato (not the actual photo)
After reading some comments, he posted a bigger edit
Image credits: bilahata/Envato (not the actual photo)
Image credits: GirlFriendRestaurant
It’s possible for there to be too much of a good thing
We have all heard the stories of people with incredible, almost superhuman talents. In a recent internet tale that went viral for all the wrong reasons, a man described his girlfriend as a culinary wizard. She could recreate lost family recipes by scent alone, identify obscure spices in a single bite, and even smell diesel on his skin hours after he had finished work. To most, this sounds like living with a sensory superhero. To her boyfriend, however, it sounded like a great way to save money on dinner. His story serves as a cautionary tale about entitlement and the dangerous habit of turning a partner’s passion into a household utility.
Image credits: levinajuli/Envato (not the actual photo)
The core of the issue began when the boyfriend decided that because his partner was such a gifted cook, there was simply no point in going out to eat. He viewed her talent through a lens of efficiency and cost-saving, rather than appreciation. This is a classic example of how entitlement creeps into a relationship. When we stop seeing our partner’s efforts as a gift and start seeing them as a standard service, we begin to erode the foundation of the partnership. Research from the Gottman Institute suggests that the most successful relationships are built on a culture of appreciation rather than a ledger of demands. When one person feels like their contributions are expected rather than celebrated, the emotional connection begins to fray.
One of the most telling parts of the story was the girlfriend’s plea to go to Olive Garden just because she liked the red sauce. To a food genius, this wasn’t about the quality of the pasta, it was about the experience of being served. The boyfriend dismissed her desires as illogical, but science actually supports her side. Sensory-specific satiety and olfactory adaptation are real phenomena where a cook’s senses become dulled to the food they are preparing. By the time the meal is on the table, the person who made it often cannot enjoy it because their brain has been processing the aromas for hours. This is why a simple meal made by someone else often tastes better than a five-course feast you slaved over yourself.
Taking one’s partner for granted is a surefire way to cause tension
The boyfriend’s entitlement reached a peak when he suggested they make sushi at home for their anniversary. Her response was heartbreaking: she feared that if she learned one more skill, she would never get a real date again. This highlights a massive imbalance in what sociologists call the mental load or emotional labor of a relationship. Some research suggests that, even in modern households, the division of labor often remains skewed, leading to significant burnout for the partner carrying the heavier burden. By treating her like a private chef, the boyfriend had effectively put her on a permanent shift, turning their romantic life into a workspace.
Image credits: Ambreen/Freepik (not the actual photo)
The climax of the story arrived when the boyfriend, finally realizing he had been a jerk, took her out to a nice dinner and proposed. To his shock, she said no. It wasn’t a rejection of him as a person, but a rejection of the current terms of their relationship. She told him she didn’t want to commit to a one-sided partnership where everything happened on his schedule and his terms. This is a vital lesson in relationship reciprocity. A marriage proposal isn’t a band-aid for long-term neglect. It is a commitment to a partnership of equals. Studies on the benefits of date nights show that couples who prioritize regular, intentional time away from domestic chores report higher levels of communication and intimate satisfaction. The date night isn’t about the food, it’s about the signal that the partner is worth the effort of leaving the house and spending the money.
Taking a partner for granted is a slow-growing weed that can eventually choke the life out of a relationship. The boyfriend in this story learned the hard way that you cannot treat a human being like a resource and expect them to feel loved. Entitlement tells us that we deserve the best of our partner without having to give our best in return. True intimacy requires us to look at our partners’ talents not as things to be exploited for our comfort, but as parts of them that deserve to be protected. If your partner is a genius in the kitchen, buy them a meal once in a while. Not because they can’t make it better, but because they shouldn’t have to.
Most people thought he messed up
Later, he shared an update
Image credits: zamrznutitonovi/Envato (not the actual photo)
Image credits: GirlFriendRestaurant
Most readers thought he was still in the wrong
Poll Question
Total votes ·
Thanks! Check out the results:
Total votes ·
Newsletter
Subscribe to Access
Exclusive Polls
By entering your email and clicking Subscribe, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. You are also agreeing to our Privacy Policy.
Thank you! You've successfully subscribed to newsletters!
What do you think ?
Deborah Brett 2 days ago
Apologising and taking her out to dinner once, and having a heartfelt convo about division of labour and then....going back to the old pattern of expecting her to cook every night, only now with added awkwardness and you resenting that she's putting in less effort. Yeah, that's not going to fly. Dude was at breakup point, tried to salvage it with a proposal, which failed, and then it sounds like he didn't actually take any of it to heart. She basically spelled out what he needed to do, because he updated reddit with it, but it sounds like he didn't actually change. She's still cooking. He isn't. Where's the "Okay, You cook two nights a week, I cook three nights, one night we have date night and eat out, one night we order take out, how does that sound?" Where's the "Are there other areas that I'm overlooking where I'm not carrying my share of the work and mental load?" Where's the "I've called around and made a list of five different relationship counsellors with openings."
Fellfromthemoon 2 days ago
Date night = more work for one half of the couple, and the other half is the only beneficiary. The one who gains with this system doesn't understand, what the problem is. He's so dense light bends aruond his head.
The_Nicest_Misanthrope 2 days ago (edited)
Ah yes, let's take her out once, propose, and get her to KEEP cooking - that'll fix everything! So glad she left him. Complete moron.
Dirk Daring 2 days ago
Give him a break everyone, at least he lets her out of the house on her birthday! THIS IS SARCASM
L.V 2 days ago
Personal anecdote: my grandmother was an amazing cook, and having grown up during WWII and after, plus having 7 kids, she was really good at making something great with very little. My mother is an ok to good cook, depending on the dish ( meat, fish, cakes, yum, veggies meh). Yet Grandma loved Mum's cooking ( as well as her other daughters'). Mum is not sure why, but from the above, I can imagine it was a combination of eating something different, and her child making an effort to treat her.
RomanceRadish 2 days ago (edited)
This makes sense. When someone else makes even just a grilled cheese sandwich, it tastes better than making it for oneself.
Load More Replies...
Kristie Graves 2 days ago
All I can picture is : Her: busting her a*s in the kitchen after coming up with a menu and shopping. Him: in the basement playing video games.
RomanceRadish 2 days ago
And caring for children, which is weirdly only mentioned as a side note.
Load More Replies...
Child of the Stars 2 days ago
My ex-husband is an absolutely amazing cook. I hate the whole process (I don't mind clean up duty or doing literally anything else). But because it's what he does for a living, he taught me a few simple tricks about seasonings and such. I learned. Is my cooking going to send you into gastronomic e*****y? Heck no. Is it edible? Yup. Him learning a few kitchen tricks and splitting the cooking duties more fairly would've nipped this whole problem in the bud.
Ace 2 days ago
Not a lot to add to most of the YTA replies. It never seems to have occurred to him that as much as she clearly likes cooking she also likes eating, and sometimes, however well you can cook, it's nice to not have to. But I don't really see how it went so far - why didn't she try to get him helping in the kitchen or sometimes cooking for her? Cooking and eating together was always a huge deal for my late wife and me, part of what brought and kept us together. If you cannot learn to share that with your partner maybe they are not the partner for you.
Lee Gilliland 2 days ago
I will effing guarantee you she tried. This guy is so dim he makes computers look smart.
Load More Replies... FreeTheUnicorn 2 days ago
Just so weird you'd suggest a date by saying why don't you cook. I understand that joint cooking is not enjoyable for many couples but let me cook or let's go somewhere are acceptable. But not even any let's go see an exhibition or band or go on a hike etc if the only thing you like to do together is eat, that's already proceed with caution territory.
justme 2 days ago
Casually dropping that they have kids at the end sealed the mental image for me. She runs a business from home while also taking care of their children. She wants a freaking break and he demands she stay home and cook for him and their children on top of everything else. If the kids are picky eaters they may need a different meal made for them too depending on how out there mom is going with the adult's meal. This guy sounds terrible and I feel bad for her. I am an awful cook. Really bad. But I would learn to make better meals or ask if I could help my SO cook so I can learn while helping. Not expecting them to cook every day so I don't have to bother.
Ronja Oksanen 2 days ago
Date night is about so much more than food! It's having an excuse to dress up, it's getting out of the house, it's so you don't have to cook for a change... My DH makes the best steaks, garlic snails, and many other "restaurant foods" and I always tell him his cookings are better BUT I know how much effort it takes to make them even if you love cooking, so I regularly ask if he would like to go out to eat so he can "have a day off". Sadly OP didn't see anything past his own stomach and he ended up cooking for himself. Hopefully next time he has learned his lessons.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 2 days ago
I was also very confused about the casual mentions of "kids" and the girlfriend's mom taking "the girls" for the night. Apparently there are kids involved in their relationship, even though OP doesn't mention them directly *AT ALL*.
Load More Replies...
Dusty's mom 2 days ago
Yikes! Probably way too late to step up his game. And he still doesn't seem to completely get her wavelength. Yeah, he needs to start over. Too bad they seem to have kids.
Kristie Graves 2 days ago
This can’t be real. Pls tell me men aren’t this fkn stupid. Nvm…. I know the answer
R Dennis 2 days ago
I used to do all the cooking - when my stepkids were little, holidays, every day. I started working in the food industry at 15 and absolutely hated spending money on food I could make for less at home... growing up in poverty also make me thrifty though not cheap. Since becoming disabled and my wife now taking over cooking, I am much more amenable to dinners out and pickup/delivery because she doesn't like cooking as much as I do. If OP wants home-cooked food all the time, I suggest he ask for cookbooks for holidays so he can provide said meals.
uk male 2 days ago
she's a keeper and the lady deserves more from you, romance her, take her out for surprise meals at her favourite restaurant, chocolates and flowers just because you can and it makes her feel special, clean the house from top to bottom and run her a nice bath, but most of all appreciate her and tell her you love her
RomanceRadish 2 days ago
It's not about Olive Garden, despite her bringing the words "olive garden" up many times. It's about the OP thinking that Olive Garden specifically was important to her, showing he didn't really know her.
Shepherd 1 day ago
Honestly, they're both kind of jerks, yes he can cook and take her out more, but she also could've voiced her disapproval more. Idk, my husband and I don't go on a lot of date nights, they are rare, due to the cost and stuff. We usually cook at home, difficulties vary, even getting fast food is a rarity. So idk sounds like she was just holding everything in hoping it'd get better without even saying anything. Even though shes the one who recommended couples counciling. He could've cooked more at home giving her a break and she could've communicated.
Trashy Panda 1 day ago
She's a cooking genius but she can't boil noodles? Was this written by AI?
David 2 days ago
the part of the story that made me question it, was when he said she calls herself Latinx, in surveys between 2-3% of hispanics use that term, with over 50% finding it offensive. Most people who use Latinx are white people thinking they are being politically correct
Jaya 2 days ago
The top survey result on Google says 36% think it's a bad thing if the term Latinx is used more often, 12% think it's a good thing, 75% think it shouldn't be used to call the entire Latino population (which she didn't do, she called only herself that) and 4% call themselves Latinx. So she'll be in that 4%, why does that make it unlikely to be true? That's still almost 2 millions people who call themselves Latinx, why couldn't one of them have a husband who writes a post about their relationship online? Do you think a story from someone who mentions their partner is a carpenter might be untrue, because only a few percent of people are carpenters?
Load More Replies...
Julie S 2 days ago
Is Olive Garden so awful? As a Brit I need to know as him saying she likes Olive Garden meant nothing to me so didn't realise it was such a big deal.
Svenne O'Lotta 2 days ago
You're also not getting it. It's NOT ABOUT OLIVE GARDEN. It's about him not giving enough of a shít about her to actually know her and remember things about her. He's so fücking proud that he remembered that the red sauce at Olive Garden is low in acidity and therefore actually edible to her.
Load More Replies...
Deborah Brett 2 days ago
Apologising and taking her out to dinner once, and having a heartfelt convo about division of labour and then....going back to the old pattern of expecting her to cook every night, only now with added awkwardness and you resenting that she's putting in less effort. Yeah, that's not going to fly. Dude was at breakup point, tried to salvage it with a proposal, which failed, and then it sounds like he didn't actually take any of it to heart. She basically spelled out what he needed to do, because he updated reddit with it, but it sounds like he didn't actually change. She's still cooking. He isn't. Where's the "Okay, You cook two nights a week, I cook three nights, one night we have date night and eat out, one night we order take out, how does that sound?" Where's the "Are there other areas that I'm overlooking where I'm not carrying my share of the work and mental load?" Where's the "I've called around and made a list of five different relationship counsellors with openings."
Fellfromthemoon 2 days ago
Date night = more work for one half of the couple, and the other half is the only beneficiary. The one who gains with this system doesn't understand, what the problem is. He's so dense light bends aruond his head.
The_Nicest_Misanthrope 2 days ago (edited)
Ah yes, let's take her out once, propose, and get her to KEEP cooking - that'll fix everything! So glad she left him. Complete moron.
Dirk Daring 2 days ago
Give him a break everyone, at least he lets her out of the house on her birthday! THIS IS SARCASM
L.V 2 days ago
Personal anecdote: my grandmother was an amazing cook, and having grown up during WWII and after, plus having 7 kids, she was really good at making something great with very little. My mother is an ok to good cook, depending on the dish ( meat, fish, cakes, yum, veggies meh). Yet Grandma loved Mum's cooking ( as well as her other daughters'). Mum is not sure why, but from the above, I can imagine it was a combination of eating something different, and her child making an effort to treat her.
RomanceRadish 2 days ago (edited)
This makes sense. When someone else makes even just a grilled cheese sandwich, it tastes better than making it for oneself.
Load More Replies... Kristie Graves 2 days ago
All I can picture is : Her: busting her a*s in the kitchen after coming up with a menu and shopping. Him: in the basement playing video games.
RomanceRadish 2 days ago
And caring for children, which is weirdly only mentioned as a side note.
Load More Replies... Child of the Stars 2 days ago
My ex-husband is an absolutely amazing cook. I hate the whole process (I don't mind clean up duty or doing literally anything else). But because it's what he does for a living, he taught me a few simple tricks about seasonings and such. I learned. Is my cooking going to send you into gastronomic e*****y? Heck no. Is it edible? Yup. Him learning a few kitchen tricks and splitting the cooking duties more fairly would've nipped this whole problem in the bud.
Ace 2 days ago
Not a lot to add to most of the YTA replies. It never seems to have occurred to him that as much as she clearly likes cooking she also likes eating, and sometimes, however well you can cook, it's nice to not have to. But I don't really see how it went so far - why didn't she try to get him helping in the kitchen or sometimes cooking for her? Cooking and eating together was always a huge deal for my late wife and me, part of what brought and kept us together. If you cannot learn to share that with your partner maybe they are not the partner for you.
Lee Gilliland 2 days ago
I will effing guarantee you she tried. This guy is so dim he makes computers look smart.
Load More Replies... FreeTheUnicorn 2 days ago
Just so weird you'd suggest a date by saying why don't you cook. I understand that joint cooking is not enjoyable for many couples but let me cook or let's go somewhere are acceptable. But not even any let's go see an exhibition or band or go on a hike etc if the only thing you like to do together is eat, that's already proceed with caution territory.
justme 2 days ago
Casually dropping that they have kids at the end sealed the mental image for me. She runs a business from home while also taking care of their children. She wants a freaking break and he demands she stay home and cook for him and their children on top of everything else. If the kids are picky eaters they may need a different meal made for them too depending on how out there mom is going with the adult's meal. This guy sounds terrible and I feel bad for her. I am an awful cook. Really bad. But I would learn to make better meals or ask if I could help my SO cook so I can learn while helping. Not expecting them to cook every day so I don't have to bother.
Ronja Oksanen 2 days ago
Date night is about so much more than food! It's having an excuse to dress up, it's getting out of the house, it's so you don't have to cook for a change... My DH makes the best steaks, garlic snails, and many other "restaurant foods" and I always tell him his cookings are better BUT I know how much effort it takes to make them even if you love cooking, so I regularly ask if he would like to go out to eat so he can "have a day off". Sadly OP didn't see anything past his own stomach and he ended up cooking for himself. Hopefully next time he has learned his lessons.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 2 days ago
I was also very confused about the casual mentions of "kids" and the girlfriend's mom taking "the girls" for the night. Apparently there are kids involved in their relationship, even though OP doesn't mention them directly *AT ALL*.
Load More Replies... Dusty's mom 2 days ago
Yikes! Probably way too late to step up his game. And he still doesn't seem to completely get her wavelength. Yeah, he needs to start over. Too bad they seem to have kids.
Kristie Graves 2 days ago
This can’t be real. Pls tell me men aren’t this fkn stupid. Nvm…. I know the answer
R Dennis 2 days ago
I used to do all the cooking - when my stepkids were little, holidays, every day. I started working in the food industry at 15 and absolutely hated spending money on food I could make for less at home... growing up in poverty also make me thrifty though not cheap. Since becoming disabled and my wife now taking over cooking, I am much more amenable to dinners out and pickup/delivery because she doesn't like cooking as much as I do. If OP wants home-cooked food all the time, I suggest he ask for cookbooks for holidays so he can provide said meals.
uk male 2 days ago
she's a keeper and the lady deserves more from you, romance her, take her out for surprise meals at her favourite restaurant, chocolates and flowers just because you can and it makes her feel special, clean the house from top to bottom and run her a nice bath, but most of all appreciate her and tell her you love her
RomanceRadish 2 days ago
It's not about Olive Garden, despite her bringing the words "olive garden" up many times. It's about the OP thinking that Olive Garden specifically was important to her, showing he didn't really know her.
Shepherd 1 day ago
Honestly, they're both kind of jerks, yes he can cook and take her out more, but she also could've voiced her disapproval more. Idk, my husband and I don't go on a lot of date nights, they are rare, due to the cost and stuff. We usually cook at home, difficulties vary, even getting fast food is a rarity. So idk sounds like she was just holding everything in hoping it'd get better without even saying anything. Even though shes the one who recommended couples counciling. He could've cooked more at home giving her a break and she could've communicated.
Trashy Panda 1 day ago
She's a cooking genius but she can't boil noodles? Was this written by AI?
David 2 days ago
the part of the story that made me question it, was when he said she calls herself Latinx, in surveys between 2-3% of hispanics use that term, with over 50% finding it offensive. Most people who use Latinx are white people thinking they are being politically correct
Jaya 2 days ago
The top survey result on Google says 36% think it's a bad thing if the term Latinx is used more often, 12% think it's a good thing, 75% think it shouldn't be used to call the entire Latino population (which she didn't do, she called only herself that) and 4% call themselves Latinx. So she'll be in that 4%, why does that make it unlikely to be true? That's still almost 2 millions people who call themselves Latinx, why couldn't one of them have a husband who writes a post about their relationship online? Do you think a story from someone who mentions their partner is a carpenter might be untrue, because only a few percent of people are carpenters?
Load More Replies... Julie S 2 days ago
Is Olive Garden so awful? As a Brit I need to know as him saying she likes Olive Garden meant nothing to me so didn't realise it was such a big deal.
Svenne O'Lotta 2 days ago
You're also not getting it. It's NOT ABOUT OLIVE GARDEN. It's about him not giving enough of a shít about her to actually know her and remember things about her. He's so fücking proud that he remembered that the red sauce at Olive Garden is low in acidity and therefore actually edible to her.
Load More Replies... You May Like 32 People Spill The Darkest And Most Disturbing Secrets Hidden By Their Partners Man Can’t Handle How Grotesque And Horrifying GF’s Book Is, Calls The Police On Her Man Asks Girlfriend What She Brings To The Table After 4.5 Years Together, Relationship Implodes
Justinas Keturka
Justinas Keturka
Justinas Keturka
Related on Bored Panda
43
49