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“Am I The Jerk For Refusing To Adhere To My SIL’s Christmas Gift List?”
Giving gifts is a wonderful way to show loved ones how much you care, but that doesn’t guarantee that the receiver will be pleased with what they get. Unfortunately, some folks are picky about the presents they’re given and might want very specific things.
This is what a woman and her family faced because of her sister-in-law’s finicky nature, and they were left shocked when she sent them a gift wishlist full of very expensive items. The annoyed woman refused to buy anything from the list and instead confronted her in-laws.
More info: Reddit
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When people don’t appreciate the presents they are given, it can hurt the feelings of the gift-giver
Image credits: dikushin / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The poster explained that her sister-in-law, Amy, always complained about the gifts she was given and even made faces when she got things she didn’t like
Image credits: EyeEm / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The whole family was shocked when Amy sent them a very expensive Christmas list, saying she would only accept gifts from it
Image credits: teksomolika / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The poster confronted Amy and said that she wouldn’t be getting her anything from the list, which led to a big family conflict
Image credits: throwawaygifting1
The poster felt justified about speaking up, but her parents felt that she shouldn’t have said anything to Amy
It seems like the OP’s family always struggled with giving Amy gifts since she complained about each one and showed her displeasure constantly. They tried to work around her pickiness by giving her and her husband one present, which was a coffee machine, but she got annoyed that she had been given a separate gift.
It’s definitely difficult to give presents to picky or ungrateful people, but pro gifters state that a good way to solve the problem is to just ask them what they want and give them exactly that. Rather than thinking of new and interesting things to gift them, it’s better to be direct so that your energy is conserved and they’re finally happy.
Before the poster and her family even had a chance to ask Amy what she wanted, she sent them a Christmas gift list instead. This should have ideally made things easier for them, but actually left them all shocked because of the expensive and pricey things she had included on the list.
According to experts, a wishlist like this is useful, but only when someone specifically requests one. It’s better not to just send people a gift registry randomly, as it might come across as pushy, and it’s also impolite to include items that could be out of people’s budget. The best gift list should have multiple options with different price points so that it makes the buyer’s job easier.
Image credits: floraldeco / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Amy didn’t seem to care that her family members wouldn’t be able to afford most of the items on the list, so the OP decided to call her out on it. She told her sister-in-law that it was very entitled to expect people to buy such expensive things for her, and that if she wanted the items, she should just shop for them herself.
Obviously, Amy and the poster’s brother were not happy about the confrontation, and they threatened not to come over for her Christmas party. The conflict also left other family members divided, with the OP’s parents thinking she shouldn’t have said anything, and her sister backing her up.
Since the poster wanted to continue their tradition of gifting everyone for Christmas, her sister-in-law’s obvious displeasure must have been hurtful. That’s why professional gifters explain that if normal presents aren’t doing the job, then people should opt for experiential gifts, which often seem more thoughtful and may even be fun for the receiver.
Many people also advised the poster to stop giving her brother and sister-in-law any gifts since they didn’t seem to value anything that was given to them. Although this might be a good boundary to set, it’s also possible that it might lead to even more conflict in the future.
What do you think is the right course of action for the OP to take in this situation? Let us know your honest thoughts.
Folks were annoyed by Amy’s entitlement and told the poster not to give in to her demands
What do you think ?
Paul C 6 hours ago
I would have stopped giving presents the first time one is not appreciated and especially if there were snide comments. It is hard enough trying to work out what someone would really like within the budget available, but if someone doesn't like it. That's one less to buy for next year.
Paul C 6 hours ago
I would have stopped giving presents the first time one is not appreciated and especially if there were snide comments. It is hard enough trying to work out what someone would really like within the budget available, but if someone doesn't like it. That's one less to buy for next year.
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