Here's one. I knew this guy back in the early 80's, let's call him Jim. well he really wanted this high powered superbike but he knew he couldn't ever afford it, so what he did was to take drive to London and scouted about for a few days until he found that particular model parked outside a house.
He goes back that night with a slidehammer, pulls the lock, and steals the bike. He gets it home, puts it in his garage and completely strips it so that the only thing left is the frame and the bottom half of the engine - which he drags into the weeds at the bottom of his garden, then he pours fuel over it and burns it a bit.
A few weeks pass and weeds have started growing over it. It's at that point he calls the cops and reports that someone had dumped a bike frame in his garden. The cops show up and he explains that he'd just got back from being away and found it.


The cops take the frame and note down hi name and address. A few days later, the cops call him and say that the bike had been stolen from London a month or so ago, ( from the serial number on the bottom half of the engine and frame) and that the insurance company had classed the bike as a write off, and had told the cops to dispose of it.
NOW....

Because the frame was found in his garden and the insurance company didn't want it, the cops were duty bound to ask him if he wanted to keep it, or if they should throw it. So he tells them that he'd always wanted to build a bike....
He gets the fame back from them, repaints it, then puts it all back together and re-registers it as a 'q' reg (stolen and recovered).

I forgot to call him Jim didn't I?

I used to have a chicken as a pet. Just 1 chicken. I rescued her from my university dorm roommate who stole the chicken from.... god knows where one night when she was drunk and was too ashamed to return it. One day she just packed her bags and left without telling me, leaving her chicken in our apartment. Well, the chicken became my chicken.

Later I moved into my aunt's house temporarily with my new pet chicken. She lived in a very nice gated community. My aunt's neighbor had a mini chicken coop with like... 5 chickens iirc.

That neighbor took one look at my chicken and just... shook her head saying, "You poor ugly thing." to my chicken.

Then she bragged about how good looking her chickens were. She also made a deliberate comment how people "like my aunt and I" don't know how to choose better chickens?? She called my chicken a "pedigree-less mutt".

I live in a very, very small house. And have a simple lifestyle.

When I started a job in a nearby office, a lady from another department (let's call her Mrs Snob) asked me where I lived.

"Oh, you poor dear!" She says,"Maybe one day you will be able to afford a proper home!"

After this, every time I met her, Mrs Snob would come out with snide little digs at me and how poor and common I am. And how lucky I was to work with "quality" people like her.

I chose to ignore it, though it did rather grind my gears.

Then, one day, we were both having lunch at work. Another colleague asked me if I knew whether "Lord X was doing a local history talk in the near future".

Mrs Snob instantly butted in, "Lord X? He and I are great friends, you know, I could ask him if you like. "

"I don't know," I said, "He usually does them in the warmer months, so he is probably starting them again soon. "

"I can call him tonight to ask!" Mrs Snob says, glaring at me, "Seeing as I actually know him. "

My colleague laughed, and Mrs Snob looked confused.

"What's so funny?" She asks.

"That.." my colleague says, pointing to me, "is his daughter. "

And from then on, Mrs Snob tried to be super nice to me!

Oh, and yes, my dad did know her. He described her as "that snobby cow" :)

They were definitely not "great friends".