Influencers, this includes celebrity and actors. In this world only one thing is worse than elite rich scum, those who pretend to be.

White bread soaked in milk placed on an armpit abscess to draw out the infection. Needed an I&D and a couple weeks of IV antibiotics by the time he got to us.

Either that or the guy who crashed his motorbike, scraped his leg all to hell, and then decided the best course of action was to self-cauterize it on the tailpipe.

I work in the er at a trauma center.
This guy comes in with his little girl and says that she was bit in the face by the family German shepherd. I immediately take her back assuming that I need to control bleeding. What I encounter is a little girl with a laceration going all the way from over her left eye crossing her nose and mouth. It is not bleeding whatsoever and it seems to have a odd looking substance inside. So I obviously ask the dad what she got inside it.

He responds very proudly with, “ Ah yes, I packed the wound with tobacco from my cigarettes and super glue. “

Poor thing.

Had a patient come into the ER with a makeshift bandage on his shin. He had fallen on rocks while hiking and left a three inch long, half inch deep gash in his leg. I go to pull the bandage off and as I’m peeling it away I notice the skin is completely black and there’s dark chunks of fungus falling out of the wound. It looked necrotic, like it had been left alone for a week. I look at this guy like he’s crazy as he tells me the wound is only a few hours old. He’s pretty proud as he explains that he created a makeshift poultice by chewing up leaves and moss, mixing it with river mud and stuffing it into his leg. That’s what all the black mossy stuff was.

Hint. Don’t do this.

Finally, something I can add to! When I was in med school on my family medicine rotation I was sent in to see a middle-aged woman with complaints of sinus congestion. Sure enough, from the beginning I can tell she's really stopped up with her nasally voice and my history and exam are consistent with your run of the mill viral upper respiratory infection. I begin educating her on symptomatic management and the following exchange ensues:

Patient: "Do you think it might be the flu?"

Me: "It's possible but unlikely; it's really out of the typical season (it was June)"

Patient: "Yeah, I guess I wasn't sure it was; I've been spraying Lysol everywhere and it doesn't seem to be doing any good, and it says it k**ls the flu virus"

Me: "Well, that's something that could help disinfect the house and keep the virus from spreading"

Patient: "I guess, I just wish it didn't burn so much"

Me: "…what do you mean, 'it burns'?"

Patient: "You know, when I spray it up my nose it burns so bad"

Yep. My patient thought that since Lysol k**ls influenza the best way to nip it in the bud was to flush her sinuses with it like a saline spray. It did not work, for the record. The fact that I didn't immediately fall over laughing and instead seriously counseled her against ever doing that again is still the greatest feat of composure in my entire career.

TL;DR When the label on Lysol says "not for internal use", they mean it.