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Hey Pandas, What’s The Stupidest Reason You Lost A Friend?
How did you lose a friend? got in a stupid fight?
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Cancer. He fought it for decades.
Cancer is stupid. F cancer.
Had a best friend for about 7 years, we had a lot in common and eventually developed a sibling-like relationship. Then, when we were about 20-ish, she did a 180° turn. She started to act condescending, things we both loved suddenly weren't good enough for her, started to consume weird pseudo-intellectual stuff.
She eventually fell into some alt-right rabbit hole with its entry point being Jordan Peterson (at that point, I had no idea who that was). The final nail in the coffin was when she just casually mentioned she supports conversion therapy ("curing" LGBT+ people using torturous methods). I let it die after that. I couldn't stand being friends with a homophobe, and I have a feeling she no longer found me intellectually stimulating enough anyway.
So yeah, that's how I lost a female friend to a misogynist pseudo-intellectual hack.
She told me my miscarriage was God's punishment to me for having sex without being married, and she wasn't going to give me emotional support for that because I had to learn a lesson about sin.
She had a baby and immediately started acting like she is superior to every woman on earth who never birthed a child. Intensified after baby #2. I am child free by choice. There was no way forward for us.
Something similar happened to my former classmate. She got pregnant soon after we started high school, so she was... 16 or 17, I guess. We've had a few run-ins after that, and we're also friends on social media - she made "mom" her entire personality. It looks like she aged 30 years within those 10 years. I mean... I'm kinda glad she loves her kids (she has 3 I think by now) and cares about them, but the utter shift she underwent is scary.
I became “too gay” for her. Turned out her boyfriend was an homophobe and basically made our friend group pick a side. I lost my high school friends that night (except for one that refused to take a side). She was the first person I ever told I was gay…anyways- for years I experienced major depression.
I’m so sorry. I hope you have more supportive friends now <3
Plain and simple: politics.
I've lost several friends in the past 8 years, or so. Most were no big loss, but I still cannot understand how intelligent and educated people can be so easily fooled.
Years ago the BBC had an item on their Breakfast show about different levels of class, lower - working - middle etc. The gist of the report was that there are now many more class divisions/levels than before. On the website there was a quiz, just for a bit of fun, that you could take to see where you were on this new scale. My friend of over 20 years scored higher than I did by a few levels, I thought it was funny, she took it a lot more seriously and decided that I would be a millstone around her neck and hold her back from her true potential. I always knew she was a bit snobby and that she thought she was better than me, but I never expected a stupid quiz would be the downfall of our friendship.
Hmmm……..let us think about the incredibly deep and complex idea that maybe, maybe you can be friends out of your supposed class…hmmmmmm 🤔🤔🤔/s
My ex sister in law and I where like sisters more than best friends no matter what her and my brother where going through. She started making weird comments about me being gay, and comments she heard on Fox news. She has never been political or had any issues with me being gay. She went super religious and decided I don't fit in her new life.
It was very hard for a while since she was the person I would always call to share in happy moments and when things werent so happy and she did the same.
But I realized I could not of been that important to her to drop me as her sister so easy.
Friend went down an alt-right rabbithole and got more and more angry with me about trans rights. I kept trying to say that (a) we have about 0.0001% trans people in Africa (visible), so what do you care about it, and (b) it's their life not yours so why do you care about it? And he'd rant and rant and rant about how there are only two genders and people can't change their gender and and and. Eventually he dropped me some stupid Jordan Peterson garbage and blocked me. Pathetic because we've been friends for 36 years.
Conspiracy theorist. I am historian. Our first fight was when she mocked me for talking about the moon landings. When I tried to explain, she flatly refused to see hear anything, claiming that it was all fabricated.
I let it slide for sake of our friendship. but later she mocked me while I was watching Schindler's List. Turned out she is also a Holocaust denier. As I protested, she went into a vicious rant on "sionist lies", and ended up calling me a "smarty-pants who violated where personal views with 'evidence' and 'science'".
Yes, never argue your flimsy facts against someone's cast-iron prejudice...
Drunk driver
Came over the divide and killed him. He was a merchant marine and would be away for months at a time. His parents took his body home for thee funeral on the other side of the country. So it just took a while to sink in that he was not coming back... so many memories
She got a new boyfriend. Her whole personality changed. Within a month he had moved across country to live with her. He convinced her she was mildly autistic (She's not and when asked what her doctors say, she says that after raising a child on the spectrum she knows and says she doesnt need a doctor telling her what she already knows)and now she uses that to her full advantage no matter what you try to tell her. We were best friends for over a decade before she met him. Then I started having mental health problems and reached out to her. Her response was downright cruel. I cut contact shortly there after.
It feels like a disrespect to people who actually have autism ):
In the depths of suicidal depression, I called a longtime friend for help. Not only did they not call back, I later learned that when they played my voicemail they called me a drama queen. That person is the biggest drama queen I've known in my life! I helped them through literally hundred of BS crises but they couldn't bother to pick up a phone to see if I was still alive. Never spoke again.
Haha, I have a good one! So, one day, my two ex-bffs all went to an amusement park, shortly after I invited them to go with me and they turned it down, saying they were too busy that day. However, that exact day that they all said they were busy, they went to that amusement park without even asking me or telling me, "Hey, I'm going to be out with our friends, ok?" (which I would have probably been way more okay with if they actually let me know, or gave another reason as to why they canceled, except for when I found out from another friend of mine -_- ) and then eventually I confronted them about it, because my friend told me all about it. They started acting all dumbfounded and saying stuff like "What? no we never did that!" and I got bothered so I decided to space myself out from them for a little. After I did that, they went around and grabbed all my actual normal friends and spread horrible gossips and rumors abt me. It was horrible... they also began to talk bad behind my back and bully me, etc. so one of them, let's say S, was a very quiet girl. I'm very loud and spunky, which she didn't mind. We had another person in our bff group, called N. N was even crazier than me. S consulted me one day saying that I was "Too loud and crazy and that I laugh too much or smile too much, etc". S didn't care that N shrieked and was loud and jumpy 24/7 365. She only cared when I did it. this led me to go months without laughing or doing anything, falling into a deep depressive stage sort of thing. All because of those two people. I'm much better now and have ditched them, found better friends, and have much better things going on my life now. Who would have thought, falling into such a dark period just because of some rude people who decided to ruin my life lol-
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Y'all sorry for the rant I just had to get it out!! I've had that on my chest for three years now. Love y'all!!!
Im so sry that your "friends" suck... hope u can get some better /real friends :3
so there was this girl in my class, let's call her A. A and I were best friends(kind of) because we had every class together and also after school clubs.
maybe i wasn't perfect, i know that, i'm kind of loud and chaotic and i swear a lot and emotional, but i think i did reach what it meant to be a friend. we had this friend group with four people, and she got into an arguement because apparently, everything i did in the last two months pissed her off and she had to diss me socially online in front of all our friends. she also had to amke me cry during english class and blame it on me because i had too much pressure because of exams and that calling me a b***h with the othere two was not un-friendly and she meant it in a good way(?).
then, she decided that dissing me wasn't enough and to make me sad, she had to add in my parents and my other very good friends. she sent those about three in a day.
after i sorted it out, she did it again after she thought i forgave her. then again. then again. to multiple people, but me the most.
Old lady advice coming up… these people aren’t your friends, in fact 10 years down the line you won’t remember them being anyone more than someone who went to your school. Your REAL friends are the ones that have no intention to hurt you, they want nothing from you other than your company and above all, you can trust them, granted you might have only one or two of these friendships but when you have it you will know!
Lost a friend because of "I told you so". I (f) met N. (f) at work and one day we decided to go on holidays together. Worked out great and we did it several times. After her father died she got into a severe depression. It took her a while to seek professional help but finally she did and it got better. Then she met a former boyfriend, they got back together, and married. This was of course the end of our travelling together - sad but understandable. He came from a different country and was on a disability pension, which wasn't much but he got to work for relatives and got paid. Still my friend paid for everything: rent, electricity, food ... She didn't even know how much money he earned, what really bothered me as I felt she was being used. They visited me on new years eve and I got upset when he used my toilet standing (guess how I knew). Furthermore I told her that she seemed to be back to the state of depression she was before and begged her to get help. Some weeks later (might have been 2-3 months) she finally agreed to meet me again. She told me that I was right about her depression, that it got even worse, and that she didn't want to see me because she didn't want to hear me saying "I told you so". We had a very good conversation and when we parted she told me she would call me. It was the last time we met. I heard that she apparently seemed to be doing well but I know that she can fool others easily about that.
A girl broke up with me once, state the reason was, "I was too nice."
So, for context she and I had dated for the better part of six months or so and she was in her last year of college. That summer after graduation, she found work that too her out of state. It was a couple our driving and I would have been willing to make the trip on a regular basis.
Then one day while she was back in town while we had lunch, she announced, "We should break up."
"Okay," I said. (I remember this part of the conversation verbatim.) "Do you mind if I ask why?"
She jumped out her seat. "THAT's why. You're too nice. You should be screaming at me right now. You should be saying, 'What the f**k, after all I've done for you.' I don't understand you."
She had said similar things whenever I did something nice, or didn't act like a jerk when she expected me to. But this was the first time she seemed upset about it. We haven't spoken since then. That was over twenty years ago.
I always thought this was a silly reason to break up with someone, but I suspect she was working through some things. Maybe it was the distance, maybe it didn't have anything to do with me.
I hope she's happy whatever she's doing these days and that she's living her best life.
I'd like to say, don't stop being nice because of it either. It's easy to think that was the problem.
I'm not really sure what was up with my now ex-friend. I lost contact with her right after our last sleepover when I was 15. About a year later, after I had moved, she somehow found my new number in the phone book. We met up. My mom told her she had to take a bus home. (My mom would drop me off and pick me up at her place, or pick up my friend at her place and drop her off for the years we were friends. Her mom rarely did.)
After that I didn't hear from her until about a year or 2 later. We hung out a couple times. It was like this until I was about 20 or 21.
Then one day she stopped calling, until 12 years later. She found me on Facebook, asked me to go to her place and catch up. I go there and she's got about 5 or 6 other women over. Her husband doesn't acknowledge me as he's taking their kids to the park. I see a table with a bunch of products on a table and realized this is no ordinary visit. My "friend" apologizes for the get-together, saying I can sit in and we can catch up after this party.
At the end of it all, it was an It Works MLM party. After everyone left, her husband brought home the kids and she started to make supper for them. She became occupied by a sale. I was asking her what this product was about, because I hadn't heard about it before, nor really knew about MLMs before. Her husband snapped at me for being in the way and then my now-ex friend, in an oddly, passive aggressive manner, walked me to the bus stop, despite not giving me a chance to find out when the bus came, on a Sunday schedule, then walked away, leaving me in the cold.
If she wanted me to just be there for the MLM party, she should've just said so and not lie about wanting to reconnect.
Her husband seems super scary and aggressive, but she seems very happy, too. If she found happiness, that's great. I don't need to be friends with her. I tried reaching out to her, seeing if she wanted to come over. "I have kids and 2 jobs.", she snapped.
That's the 3rd so-called friend who got offended for me inviting them over to my place, spitting the same old thing about having kids and living across the river, or in another community, despite being in the same city. Ah, well.
My best friend and I stopped talking for three years over the Shakespeare authorship question. I gave her the Mark Anderson book, ¨Shakespeare By Any Other Name,¨ and she became upset that I could think that the Earl of Oxford, Edward de Vere, was the possible author. She eventually apologized and we agreed not to let 17th century men ruin our friendship.
when my 21 yr old son returned home with his 3 month old (he was a premature delivery) son because his wife had passed away. he was an emotional wreck. although my husband and i tried to help he just became withdrawn and would only interact with the baby in kind of a robotic manner. finally he agreed to go to hospital for both physical, mental, and emotional exhaustion. (he was there for about a week.) when i told my friend that i would have to cancel plans we had made because i was taking care of my grandson she asked if i was now the built-in babysitter. told her no and explained situation to her. (she knew about his wife.) her response was that he just needed to suck it up and grow a pair...that he didn't need to be in hospital just because he now had a baby to care for. her whole demeanor was that i should just let him be on his own so he could 'sink or swim'. when i let her know that is not how we, as a family, support each other she thought that i was just coddling him. this was interesting to me since, at the time, her grown daughter, son in law, and granddaughter had recently moved in with her and her husband 'temporarily'. that situation changed when her daughter announced that she and her husband were planning to get pregnant, stay with them until the baby was born so they could save all their money to get a down payment on a house. this blatant double standard was such an eye opener to me as she had never expressed views like this before. pretty much put the kibash on the friendship.
I had 3:
Best friend from high school - he married and his wife didn't approve of his having female friends so I was tossed aside.
Best friend from work - couldn't deal with me being really depressed - told me to 'get over it or else'....
Best friend again from work - I took her when I was selecting a puppy....she thought I should take X one, I selected Y.......never spoke to me again......
I should add, I don't let anybody get close any longer.....not worth the trouble.....
Because she didn't like my brother anymore and turned into a cold witch, even though before she was oh so "nice." I realized after all that, that her EXTREME NICENESS was just to win my brother over, she didn't give a damn about me.
I got married
Same! 15 years of friendship and she got jealous I was getting married, she did it to two other friends too, never thought she was THAT shallow
Blocked me for being a bad friend for 6 months, thought it was okay to come back because her mum had cancer
Methamphetamines...my (ex)friend stole my roommate's tires and rims off his car one night and tried to sell them to me the next day. Meth literally melted his brain.
Not me, but i had a “friend” who told everyone in summer camp that she had cancer. This was in fifth grade (10-11 ish years old). When she told me, i was so stunned i didn’t know what to say. she also tells her summer crush and he is devastated. next day tells us it’s a prank, her crush is MAD MAD MAD. ends up ghosting her (rightfully so, joking abt cancer is never a funny thing), and she ends up becoming super depressed and even has to go to therapy about it. not because she felt bad, but because she lost her summer crush. took her like two years to get over it. i wasn’t too surprised because she lied about everything, and even then my 10 year old self knew it was so stupid.
My exgirlfried start to consume cocaine, getting really bad (so called) friends (who stay close only because she pays the booze and other things) i noted that something gone wrong and when I confront her the first time she told me it was only 1 time, that was a mistake etc. i believe her, and do my best to suport her to stay away from that things and that kind of people, 2 weeks later she began again with the partys and sleep with one of those guys, i find out because this guy take videos of everything, and passing to friends, and it finally land on my knowledge. I confronted her again, and she denied everything until i show the proofs. She was spokeless, and i just say to her that we are over, that i love her and do my best to support her, but i cannot do nothing about lies and lack of compromise by herself. I feel really stupid for give her a second chance and it broke my heart leave her in that state, but i cannot sink with her lies and cannot help her if she don't wanted to. After a few days she callme from another number (i block her number) to ask me to pick her up from a bad place, i go, have a really bad time, take her to her to hospital, wait til she was sober enough, have a talk, she only repeat the same words that she say before, i decide to not believe her, i told her again that i cannot sink with her, and no longer believe her or trust her, that she have the resources and strength to get well and stop make herself so much harm with that kind of lifestyle, that shebhave people who love her and she was losing the good people for hangout with the bad companies, and again she was like "yeah, you right, that is not me, was a mistake" etc. but a couple a days again she was blackout in a bad place with bad people, and me againt taking care of her. After that i decide to broke that circle, and no longer listen to her, make my heart to iron and just passing through her life choise and look for my life. Right?
Good choice dropping her mate.... don't do drŭgs kids!
I had someone who I thought was my best friend (this is when we were about 15 or so) - he didn't tell me he'd got contact lenses, even when a whole group of us were called in for eye tests at school. He was the only one not obviously wearing glasses; but he claimed to have no idea why he was called in with the rest of the group. Lenses were nothing like as common then (mid 1970s) as they are now, and while I can understand some reticence or embarrassment, I thought we were close enough for him to tell me, certainly not hide it from me when it came up.
When I was in 5th grade my friend Iyanu started to use me and my bff as her backup friends, she had another friend group. She started calling us "Preppy Girl's", which now means deva and mean, (Which we are not). The worst part was I gave her a friendship bracelet, and I saw her throw it away! She kept calling us names until my bff went nuts and cursed her and that was the last time I ever spoke to Iyanu. She also cures us back but called us bitches and my friend called her as***le.
When I was 11 years old, I had a friend, I'll just call her B. We were inseparable, we did everything together and I never thought about losing her until something so stupid. I found some kind of big sheet of plain sticker in the halls, lying purely on the ground, untouched. Later in class, I was drawing some things on it and cutting them out until B came up to me and got all mad, thinking I 'stole' her custom sticker sheet. that was the end of our friendship but I feel so good now, she was kind of toxic even before the sticker thing.
Because I wouldn't give her a promotion when I was made manager of her department. She didn't have the qualifications for it, and when we tried to train her as a stand-in for the position, it just didn't "click" for her. She didn't understand a bit of it. It wasn't that she was stupid, it just wasn't something she understood. (Like, I'm not mechanically inclined. I'm afraid to take apart a broken clock to try to fix it because I might break it worse. So do not hire me for a job involving tools.) She found another job and never spoke to me again.
Oddly enough, she had told me previously about a friend of hers who was looking for a job, but she refused to recommend him for a position here because his personal life was a mess and it would reflect badly on whoever recommended him.
A few years ago, I had a friend group made up of three other people plus my older brother and I. To keep this story short, during the pandemic we did weekly zoom calls but eventually people started to bail on us frequently for no reason. They would also often exclude my brother and I from conversations since they had all known each other longer. We were getting sick of it but we stuck with them because we liked having friends and when they were nice, they were fun to be around. One of them also seemed to always have an issue with me but claimed they didn't for some reason. Anyways, at some point we all made plans to trick or treat together one year. We planned what neighborhood to meet in, a group costume, and what time to get together. We even met up in person on Halloween earlier in the day to confirm that everyone was coming. Well that night rolls around and only one of them shows up and she's really late. We ask where everyone else is and it turns out they made up lame excuses to ditch us and go home I think? I don't know what they did after they said they weren't coming. We were devastated. Also the one friend that showed up was on her phone and ignoring me the whole time. After Halloween no one ever brought up what happened or apologized for what they did. My brother and I had already been considering leaving the group but that was the last straw for us. We broke it off with them a few months later and none of them even cared. One of them tried to reconnect with us a while later and things were fine with her for a while but soon she started doing the same thing of constantly using her phone when she was with us and canceling plans. We've since officially stopped all contact with her and we thankfully never had to deal with the others trying to come back into our lives.
I was a sophomore in high school. I became a sister figure to these two girls. I'm autistic and I know that I have a large vocabulary that not everyone understands. Well, these two girls stopped talking to me. I couldn't get an answer from them, so I had to get our moms involved. Courtney and Madison couldn't be bothered to tell me that they didn't understand what I was saying in our everyday conversations. I'm not a mind reader.
... And in the off chance that either of them are reading this: f*** both of you for not being clear with me. You KNEW I needed that clarity.
When I was in middle school, I was WAY more mature than everyone else and so I lost most of my friends, including my closest friend who dumped me for cheerleading...
This is not a stupid reason because I left him. We were best friends for 3 years at my new school (still there) but all of the sudden he became very sexist racist homophobic and we were awesome friends before that. He lives in a kinda rich family so he would invite me to a pool which costed 500 per month and we were best friends. Then when he got a phone everything changed and he is always on it and once someone took it and he started crying HES IN 7TH GRADE. Sorry for grammar in this i suck at grammar
