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Some people have such a way with words they can even make insults sound good. In reality, you don't even have to channel your inner Shakespeare to make an insult pleasant to one's ears. It just has to be clever enough to make the other person want to disappear inside their shell like a turtle.

We're fans of wordplay and justice here at Bored Panda, so, we've got a collection of the sickest and most inventive burns that people have dished out on the Internet. If you're looking for inspiration or want to see some cleverly-crafted justice where jerks got put in their place, check out these clever comebacks!

#1

A Thread On Aposematism

Twitter exchange featuring hilarious clever comebacks about hair color and aposematism.

SameriteRL Report

Janissary35680
Community Member
Premium
9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This should be WAY higher up!

Ponypower
Community Member
9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is one of my favorites and i have used it!

Chuck
Community Member
9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

We need a medic over here!

Anna Losonczy
Community Member
9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I've seen this post several times, always satisfying.

OneWithRatsAndKefir
Community Member
9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That, and, in many species, particularly birds, the male of the species is far more colourful.

Laura Parker
Community Member
8 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Plus-nobody is attracted to someone who can’t spell…

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    #2

    A New Service For Beauticians To Offer?

    Two humorous tweets with a clever comeback response.

    Munchkinpea Report

    Livingwithcfs
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    needs to go to anatomy lessons as well

    SCP 4666
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well, technically it's vulva. Shaving a vagina would prove to be... difficult

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    Roxy222uk
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This one always makes me wince so much. Vagina means the birth canal and no one wants a razor in there.

    Bi.Felicia
    Community Member
    Premium
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Considering Daniel's username, it's likely that he has never seen a vagina.

    Chuck
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Come on now, he's never seen a vagina.

    Miki
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh I am sure he saw it once. During his birth.

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    Nosirrow
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There's a good reason for the hair down there. There's also a rd flag when a guy wants a woman to look like a pre-pubescent girl.

    Pieter LeGrande
    Community Member
    9 months ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    Might just be sick of getting pubic hair stuck in his teeth,

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    SolitaryIntrovert
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That fact that he likes them hairless is concerning.

    KrazyChiMama
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Lmao came here for the comments on this one and you guys never disappoint! :D

    Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa)
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He says "My Vagina" like he owns it even though that's another person's body. That's creepy enough.

    Barbara Wilcock
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Poor little boy. Now run along to mummy as she explains the female form

    Cpt. Christan "Panda Bombero"
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There there are so many things wrong with this misogynistic muck fuppet's post. That I am not even sure where to begin.

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    #3

    Blaming Young People For Being Triggered

    Hilarious clever comebacks in online discussion about 50s and 60s culture.

    kyno1 Report

    MonsterMum
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    But you could catch melanin!

    Billo66
    Community Member
    Premium
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That must be what vitiligo is, they got too close poor things.

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    Breadcrumb.
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well someone voted for the 60s to come back..

    Cpt. Christan "Panda Bombero"
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Bob got a United States history lesson from a French History podcast in English. The irony of this is not lost on me.

    April Pickett
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That was done up to and including the 1960s. It wasn't just a 10-year span.

    KrazyChiMama
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Remember when being offended by something was YOUR problem though? I do miss that…candor is so very unappreciated it seems.

    SirWriteALot
    Community Member
    9 months ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    You're an a*****e. How's that for candor?

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    Riley Quinn
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    No we grew up with traumatic brain injuries from not wearing bike helmets,... oh, what's the point? Granted, we were latchkey kids and didn't have helicopter parents, but I don't think that's entirely the point you're making here, Bob.

    BrunoVI
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The people growing up in the 50s and 60s were the ones who did away with American apartheid.

    Lyoness
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Hang on there... it depends on where you mean. This is based on a very quick search. So, if you look solely at laws in the US, segregation ended in 1964 with the Civil Rights Act - that's the end of de juro segregation (a fancy latin way to describe the physical restrictions such as on buses or in the schools). Unfortunately segregation still exists. That's de facto segregation, where you see a divide in communities and the use of facilities by geography and socioeconomic status. Now while there may not be any laws in place forcing black and white people apart, that doesn’t mean there isn’t some separation. "De facto segregation exists in many cities today, often with black people and other minority Americans inhabiting poorer or more deprived areas." So in the law book, sure, American apartheid is over. But segregation is not. Reference: https://constitutionus.com/constitution/rights/what-year-did-segregation-end/

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    Janet Graham
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I grew up in the 1960s in the USA. This sort of racism was not a thing in the Western states. Most ly the south and in big cities like Chicago and Washington DC.

    Dd P
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    WE ALL DRINK FROM THE SAME FOUNTAINS AND SHARE BATHROOMS NOW-AND WE HAVE STILL PRODUCED NEW-AGE WUSSES! NOW THEY ARE A GENERATION PLASTIC SOCIETY-NOT WORTH ANYTHING.

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    Did you think Twitter invented people throwing insults at each other in a public space? Well, think again! Back in the olden days, poets would engage in insult rap battles referred to as "flyting." Today, we can find examples of flyting in classical works such as Beowulf and King Lear, but other cultures have their versions as well: the Japanese haikai and the Arabic naqa'id.

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    The most famous example of poets giving each other lashings in verbal form would probably be "The Flyting of Dunbar and Kennedie." That medieval rap battle was the first instance a poet used an excrement-related joke and also used the now-ubiquitous curse that starts with an F.

    #4

    They Got That Johnny Bravo Aesthetic

    Men in stylish outfits with a hilarious clever comeback about dryer settings.

    KaamDeveloper Report

    Lost Panda
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I actually have some pride in my appearance

    RH-8514
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I can pick out clothes that actually fit

    BiggBoii
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I used to say I have a dad bod until my wife said its a Father Figure!

    Sue User
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Look like the belong in Jersey Shore reboot.

    Tobias Reaper
    Community Member
    9 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    i'm not child that had a genie and wished to be an adult then grew into an adult wearing children's clothes

    Agfox
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Where I live, these guys look like real estate agents on their day off

    KrazyChiMama
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I’m laughing so hard at this my dog is looking at me like “what is wrong with you?”!!! They DO look like a bunch of college guys who just started doing their own laundry for the first time! Check your dryer settings fellas! :D

    Breadcrumb.
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Not my type. I really do not find this attractive. But I'm sure they are into women who wear tight mini skirts, heels, fake tanner, nails, lashs, lips..

    Tabitha
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I lived past the age of two.

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    #5

    Very Funny Things Are Happening

    Electrical plug labeled male, female with humorous comment; hilarious clever comebacks in text form.

    DaniusJones123 Report

    JuJu
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And we have different plugs in Europe

    David
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    the terms for plug ends being male or female is still the same

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    Trillian
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Just because people named plugs after what they thought to be the only two gender options doesn't proof anything in return

    ABC NrTen FCK CENSORISM
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The above are not "gender options", but sexes. "Gender" is a social construct, "sex" is the physical appearance. Those are two completely different things and English does have different words to describe them, yet people can't seem to grasp the concept. Why is that so?

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    Heras buddy
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why can't people let others live their own live?. How are any of their choices affect the way that anybody lives?

    Forrest Hobbs
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Heras buddy: the choices that people make can and do impinge on other people. E.g., https://www.theguardian.com/society/2025/feb/25/scottish-government-firmly-backs-single-sex-spaces-amid-equalities-watchdog-warning

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    Earonn -
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The fact that terfs need "arguments" that stupid shows that they don't actually have arguments. And I really wish they'd shut up, take their goddess JK and move to some small island and just live their best cult life without bothering the rest of us.

    Forrest Hobbs
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Earnonn: sigh. Have you ever actually *listened* to what trans exclusionary radical feminists actually say? Apparently not - all you can do is hurl mindless abuse.

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    Chris the Bobcat
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Also, I think a plug works best when it's inserted and left there, not wiggled about until it starts making funny noises and then wants to talk afterwords.

    koce berberot
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sitll the same, different shapes, colors, but to connect, female - male.

    Jason Kennith
    Community Member
    9 months ago (edited)

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    Underrated comment. Wish I could upvote you a thousand times. This woke crowd sucks.

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    Billo66
    Community Member
    Premium
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Before I scrolled down my brain said "It's a bunch of European plugs" lol

    Vincent Bevort
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Not to mention the contact-less stuff we have nowadays

    Daniela Lavanza
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Technically, there are still males and females in all sockets. And some here are just adapters. Good message but very wrong example.

    chris Cannon
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    NOT a good message and bad example. We can all see how there are exceptions to the analogy, but the point the author is trying to make is a fallacy.

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    Liz Butt
    Community Member
    9 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    But one still plugs into the other. That does not change.

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    #6

    Degree Man Strikes Again

    Screenshot of a tweet exchange featuring a clever comeback about appearance statistics.

    IHateMath14 Report

    UndertaleLover (She/Her)
    Community Member
    9 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I friggin love this guy. He gives me the warm satire fuzzies

    Michael P (Perthaussieguy)
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I wouldn't be surprised if she took that as a compliment at first

    Courtney Christelle
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I love Dr. Patel. He’s got to work in the burn ward.

    Heras buddy
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She probably doesn't understand the math.

    Bewitched One
    Community Member
    Premium
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sounds like she probably just likes women 🤷🏼‍♀️

    Min
    Community Member
    Premium
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My thoughts exactly!

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    Snowkit
    Community Member
    9 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Preach! (The man, not the girl, the girl is very mean.)

    David Ulma
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What about the other 90% of women that are ugly???

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    What was the point of these flytings? Not just to flex the poets' rhyming muscles, if you were wondering. Just like diss tracks today, they could make or break them: the poets' image, honor, and social standing depended on their performance. The poets performed the flyting to the royal court, but people outside the court could read their insults and boost their profiles.

    Nothing was off-limits during flytings. As Christine M. Robinson writes, Dunbar listed many of Kennedy's defects: "his highland origins, begging, cowardice, treachery, ugly appearance, venereal disease, jaundice, and sexual activity." Well, at least he didn't accuse him of downloading PDF files.

    #7

    Due For Some Good Luck Eventually

    Twitter exchange showcasing hilarious clever comebacks between two users about COVID-19 experiences.

    reddit.com Report

    Maria Maria
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I had COVID-19 twice and I have never felt worse in my life. The first time I genuinely thought I wasn't going to make it.

    quentariel
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Mine was worse than a normal flu, but not worse than influenza. But I was lucky to catch it only after two shots of vaccine. And lucky that in my country almost everyone respected the limitations, so I actually had time to get my shots before catching it. I feel really sorry for people who did everything they could, but still got infected by other people's stupidity.

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    Remi (He/Him)
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    First covid I had trouble breathing and was tired for months after. Also a member of extended family died of covid. Flu my aß

    Eastendbird
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Michael Rosen is a national treasure!

    Alex Mosby
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I had both. I definitely had the flu worse than covid... I was also vaccinated against covid but not the flu (procrastinating). I got the Covid vaccine because of how bad my experience with the flu was. I don't understand why people think the flu is a walk in the park. The flu kills. There are people in ventilators right now because of the flu. So yeah a lot of people got Covid as bad or worse than the flu. I don't wanna die from either.

    Pamela Blue
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Too many people think a tummy bug is the flu, or a cold is the flu. Neither one is the flu. There is generally NO mistaking it when you get the real thing. It is very unpleasant.

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    Roxy222uk
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Michael Rosen is a national treasure in the UK and we were waiting day by day with fingers crossed that he would come out of covid okay. He really was ill. If you're interested how come he's so beloved then find the app BBC Sounds and listen to Word of Mouth.

    Asher Tye
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And now, because of these same ninnies, we have measles making a comeback

    Kylie
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yep and we'll go back to poor little kids dying of it again.

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    Robert T
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Friend died from it... Another friend's parents died from it... Covid sucks,

    KrazyChiMama
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I’ve had both…Neither one was pleasant…however, I recovered from the flu in about 10 days…I had long post-covid syndrome for about 3 months after…gut health was off and zero energy no matter how much I slept and periods of wheezing like an asthmatic…I don’t have asthma…yes I was vaccinated for COVID…I couldn’t get the flu shot that year because I had covid at the time the flu shots were being given…

    James016
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I caught Covid and my temperature went so high my body shut down to the point I could not get out of bed at all. I put that down to my body putting everything into fighting it.

    DragonofMordor
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My dad died of COVID. My mom had to be hospitalized. I was out of work for 2 weeks and had to use a nebulizer, which I hadn't had to use since I was a kid.

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    #8

    Lake Superior Hasn't Wrecked Anyone Like This Since The Edmund Fitzgerald

    Clever comebacks in a Twitter exchange about water and rights.

    LakeSuperior Report

    Sergio Bicerra
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Damn, Gulf of Mexico was at boiling point.

    Patrick H
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I know what you're going for, but that is actually a Twitter account for Lake Superior. (Yes, I know of the Twitter name-change, but it's just as idiotic.) Whoever controls that account is obviously jabbing at the idiotic, xenophobic Gulf Of Mexico name-change.

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    boredhousekitty
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I have no idea a huge body of water can burn

    JuJu
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm cheering on a lake...pretty good for a monday morning

    Cpt. Christan "Panda Bombero"
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    First Tom got steamed and then he got scalded. Flawless Wet Victory.

    Julie S
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    OMG that last line made me laugh out loud.

    Daniela Lavanza
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He's technically wrong on both statements. Funny how internet allow stupids to show off to the whole world.

    Riley Quinn
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If only Tom's mother had gotten an abortion there'd be one less stupid man telling a woman what she can and cannot do with her body. Yes, stupid, as Lake of Mexico pointed out.

    Chris the Bobcat
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don't know how I'll use it yet, but I'm stealing that title jab. Gordon Lightfoot is probably going "Ooooh!" and he's dead!

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    #9

    That Is Hilarious

    Tweet shows a pigeon at Delhi airport with a clever comeback telling someone to mind their own business.

    kalmantibs Report

    justagirl
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    imagine somebody making a whole account to do this...

    ABC NrTen FCK CENSORISM
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    fúcking, BP. The word is fúcking. Thank you for your attention, everyone.

    Liz Butt
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I usually use fkg. Says the same thing and makes things so much easier.

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    EWD
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He has places to be

    Cindy Brick
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Waiting for a flight to New York?

    PIO4 Office
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Unlike my cousin Chicken, I can cross the street. If it's any of your business.

    Sally Moen
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I saw several sparrows inside the airport in Las Vegas. Besides being inside a controlled-climate rather than outside in the desert heat, there was access to food fallen on the floor and water from the drinking fountains. So yeah, I get why a bird would want to be in an airport

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    Most Old English insults would be borderline nonsensical today, but we can't deny they sound pretty fun. Let's take "Blowsabella," for example. Yes, it's an insult to women, but not what you might've thought. It's a comment on a woman's hair, most often about how disheveled and unkempt it looked.

    #10

    She Has A Beautiful Way With Words

    Tweet with hilarious and clever comebacks about Netflix emissions and oil executives.

    synthgrrl Report

    keyboardtek
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And Trump flies on Airforce One multiple times a week to go to Florida to play golf. In just a few weeks he has cost the taxpayers over $10 million!

    Patricia Steward
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And co-president Musk just used Marine One to return from vacation. Vacation from what, one wonders.

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    Ryan
    Community Member
    9 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I know it's not the point, but that "30 mins of streaming = 4 minutes of driving" stat sounds like absolute bull.

    Jrog
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    See my other comment, they admitted to a calculation mistake and retracted the paper. The actual value is 1/8th that. https://www.iea.org/commentaries/the-carbon-footprint-of-streaming-video-fact-checking-the-headlines

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    kansasmagic
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Also, if you deposited the amount of money you spend on 30 minutes of Netflix into a savings account with 10000% interest, ten times a day, you can easily afford a fixer upper in Detroit in just 137 years.

    IDGAFabtUrFeelings
    Community Member
    9 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    People say we are part of the problem and yes, we are but we are ordinary ppl. We aren't the inventors, the manufacturer, the politicians, or the companies. We are consumers hoping for an affordable option while we live relatively simple lives. It would be great if we all band together and boycott things but that's generally all folks can do when our politicians are in bed with these companies. If we had an organization that created and upheld regulations that held companies and ppl accountable and there were penalties that would make a difference then we wouldn't be having this conversation.

    DC
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It all starts with the final consumer, who buys something. Whatever nobody buys, nobody makes either. It's not that they OR we are responsible and need to do something, it's them AND us AND all the parties inbetween. And, we consumers, do have power over companies, it's just that we usually opt out of using them at all.

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    tameson
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This isn't true. https://www.politifact.com/factchecks/2022/jul/26/facebook-posts/no-watching-30-minutes-netflix-does-not-release-sa/#:~:text=That%20means%204%20miles%20of,video%20streaming%20in%20the%20U.S.

    Jrog
    Community Member
    9 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    BTW, it's not really true. The assumption comes from a 2019 French publication that has since admitted a mistake in calculation and retracted the paper. They initially stated Netflix impact was "3.2kgCO2 per hour" but in their unit conversion they mistook Mbit for Mbyte. They fixed it since, reducing the factor 8-fold to 0,4 kgCO2 per hour. Mind that it's still a worst case estimate, and doesn't take into account the different power mix of different countries.

    Jrog
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    One hour of Netflix would be equivalent to 3 miles of train travel, 25 yards of air travel or 19 INCHES for a cruise ship.

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    Riley Quinn
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So many valid points could be made to back up Lex's comment. Wealthy and ultra-wealthy people contribute more to climate change than entire countries. Big Think should think bigger and stop pooping on the little people.

    Oerff On Tour
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My nearest cinema is 20 miles away, so I'm good for 2.5h

    JP Purves
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You can't wank what's not there.

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    #11

    100% Pure Beef

    Tweet exchange showcasing hilarious clever comebacks about burger shapes between Cooper Franklin and Wendy's.

    reddit.com Report

    michael Chock
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The world would be a better place if our nuggets, burgers, sticks and ribs where shaped like the animals they came from.

    Lotekguy
    Community Member
    Premium
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The burger should match the shape of the crop circles in the fields that grow the buns. That's why the aliens put them there.

    XenoMurph
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I kinda get this though. square burgers just don't sit right. They feel cheap and weirdly, "more" artificial.

    KrazyChiMama
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Someone downvoted you for having an opinion different from theirs…I fixed it :)

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    Riley Quinn
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You can count on Wendy's for a zinger.

    Anony Mouse
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wendys’s social media account is pretty cocky for a fast food place that destroyed its menu and now serves cardboard-tasting garbage when it used to be the best. Bring back the fries! Not the pointy salt sticks they have now!

    UKGrandad
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Don't tell us, tell Wendy's....if you dare.

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    #12

    Then There Was Flood

    Tweet exchange with a clever comeback on cancel culture and a biblical reference.

    reddit.com Report

    michael Chock
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Liberal media - lets expand privilege. Christian conservative media - we are the American Taliban, if it isn't Christian we will burn it.

    Tabitha
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And if it isn’t “Christian”, we’ll cherry-pick it and take it out of context, in order to twist it to fit our evil machinations.

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    Megan Humphries
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    One of the next stories is how he sent a flood to kill almost everyone and everything....

    MonsterMum
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    God kills 2.5 million of his 'children' in the old testament. Nice guy

    Bob Brooce
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Lyone asks a fair question and we don't know the motivation for it. If the big book of fairy tales was a big book of actual facts, there was 1650 yearsfor population growth before the flood. If the population doubled every 100 years the starting population of 2 would have increased by a factor if 92,681 to about 185,000 people. If population doubled every 75 years it would have increased by a factor of 4,194,304 to almost 8.4 million people. If it doubled every 50 years we'd potentially be talking about 17 billion people, which could help explain all that famine and pestilence, if not the rampant sodomy and what not. Maybe the infallible bible forgot to tell us that when people lived 10 times as long they also couldn't breed until they were 150, but birth control wasn't very advanced at the time, either. Also, right after god created mankind in his own image he told them to "Be fruitful, and multiply." 2.5 million seems pretty low to me.

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    White Sauce Hot Sauce
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    God cancelled the whole world with a flood.

    Roxy222uk
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    God cancelled almost the entirety of humanity (and all the other organisms) because humanity did some stuff wrong

    Pandapoo
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    But he amazing kept lions alive even there were two males on the ark.

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    CariBear
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And he canceled the majority of people during the flood

    Billo66
    Community Member
    Premium
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Be kind to everyone unless they have different beliefs then kill 'em.

    Dan St John
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There are thousands of religions and millions of gods and we get Christian ISIS.

    JayWantsACat
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's still crazy to me how many so called Christian do not know what it's in the Bible considering how often they reference it and call it the "word of god". They use it to justify their bigotry because "it's God's word" and yet there are literal versions of the book. Aside it saying things like they can't eat shrimp or whatever.

    Tom Brincefield
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    No different than the ones who love the US Constitution and have no idea what is in it.

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    Bryan Wright
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The Old Testament isn't a christian bible.

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    Other old insults which might sound like they came straight from a five-year-old's vocabulary, are Gollumpus and Grumbletonian. And no, they don't have anything to do with The Lord of The Rings or Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. Gollumpus was a "large, clumsy fellow," probably originating from the verb galumph (to move clumsily with a heavy tread). And a Grumbletonian was someone who complained all the time, no matter how good they had it.

    #13

    Great Reply

    Customer complaint with hilarious clever comeback from restaurant about food delivery issues.

    takeawaytrauma Report

    Remi (He/Him)
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Good job on standing up for the delivery driver instead of cow towing to the customer like many companies do

    Apatheist Account2
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    *kow-towing. They are not dragging a cow on the end of a rope.

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    Earthquake903
    Community Member
    Premium
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I once delivered pizza for pizza hut in the early 90's in PCB Fla. I stood in the pouring rain beating on the door as hard as I could and ringing the doorbell frantically. There was no overhang to block the rain, it was blowing sideways anyway, lol. I had one of those clunky car phones that came in a little briefcase and called and called. Had the restaurant call. But no one came to the door. Why? Because they were having a grand, joyous time pounding on their piano! Did I mention this was a wealthy neighborhood? It took more than 30 minutes for them to finally get to the door and look at me, completely drenched and cold as if they were surprised I didn't greet them in a friendly manner. I'll give you 1 guess how much they tipped...you guessed it, NOTHING!

    Hetal Vyas
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I had a delivery from Just Eat from a supermarket. The driver (on his motorbike) got hit by a car on his way to me. Went to hospital, and he still delivered my order!!!! He got his friend to drive him. Cannot fault his dedication

    Miki
    Community Member
    9 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think I am missing something. What about knocking? (still kudos for restaurant reply)

    Bonnie Buttons
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If they waited and called and waited and called again, they knocked. And banged. And buzzed. And probably shouted.

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    Liz Butt
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He waited 40 minutes too long. If you order food, you need to be there to receive it. If you're not, tough luck buddy. Glad the boss told him what for.

    Seadog
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    DoorDash left a McD's breakfast at my sons back door. No ticket on or in bag. We found it 12 hours later. No idea whose it was supposed to be. My son is a truck driver and was 1100 miles away and besides, he wouldn't eat McD's if he owned the company. As a sign of how bad their food is, we live in the country, so plenty of wildlife and dogs around. That bag sat there all day and nothing, not even the ants touched it. When animals that will eat anything won't even touch it, you know it's not good.

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    #14

    Aggressive But Relatable

    Comment section showcasing a clever comeback in a humorous online exchange.

    mareksierra Report

    michael Chock
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The government can't force you to use your body to keep someone alive. Doesn't matter if it's blood donations, organ donations, slavery or being a human incubator.

    B
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Never say something to a woman you wouldn't want your cell mate saying to you in Prison

    Earonn -
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He feels cool to implicate rape. May he suffer himself what he threatens others with / finds funny to threaten others with. I said what I said.

    Jorge Gonzalez
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    In his case let's instead choose scaphism for him.

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    Daniela Lavanza
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That guy is probably a troll. What he says means anyone is allowed to kill him at will, too...

    Marie Clear
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'll upvote for castrating brandon41400

    Garrett Robinson
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Castrating him does not prevent him from raping, but you won't get pregnant at least.

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    Riley Quinn
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Brandon's mother must be so proud of her little boy.

    MushroomHead22
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    i dont quite understand that logic though. is it because they think their stronger? so what happens when a stronger man or woman forces you to do what they want? think a big bear like man who looks at your scrawny a*s and thinks "your body, my choice" and he overpowers you, and you have no choice but to take him. what do you do? fight back? well you can't cause you're are not powerful enough to stop him. any man that thinks "your body my choice" just think about this for a second, think about how much you would hate having a much larger man have his way with you. he's scary, and you want him to stop. thats what you look like.

    Snowkit
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So…can ya’ll keep me away from Brandon?…

    Cpt. Christan "Panda Bombero"
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Hey Brandon, so using that same logic you displayed, I will see your body, my choice and raise you with your body Brandon, and my choice of calibers. Because you are obviously implying that you do not need a woman's consent. And deadly force may be legally used to stop Murder, Assault, Arson, and Rape.

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    #15

    Blame Your Parents For This One

    MoonPie and user exchange hilarious clever comebacks about popularity and branding on Twitter.

    MrShepard Report

    Lost Panda
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    At my high school graduation, we had a brain surgeon who was an alumni come and give the speech. He talked about becoming a surgeon, going around the world, climbing the himalaya, but the one thing he wanted us to always remember... and I quote "MOON PIES MAKE YOU HAPPY!" and he began throwing them into the crowd XD

    Bonnie Buttons
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Please throw a ‐ nay, several - Moon Pies at me.

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    Mr. Jones
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think they are disgusting, but my opinion doesn't make them bad.

    Firstname Lastname
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I like Moon Pies. Heat them for 8 seconds in the microwave to get them all gooey and melty and it gives off those smore feelings without the campfire.

    Awkward lady
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Okay , Brit here.... what's a moonpie?

    Dragons Exist
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Basically a marshmallow sandwich, with two soft 'cookies' (softer than normal cookies, closer to bread) with a marshmallow filling in-between, then the whole thing is dipped in a coating of chocolate

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    Riley Quinn
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Okay, I don't like Moon Pies, but I'd never mention this if I was south of the Mason-Dixon line. Moon Pies and RC cola combo is part of the American South cuisine.

    Pandapoo
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I’m south of the Mason-Dixon Line and I agree.

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    Beachbum
    Community Member
    5 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I remember my very first job as a server at Po Folks, they had Moon Pies and people went absolutely insane for them. Try it in the microwave for about 20 seconds, soooo d**n good!

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    Not all Old English insults sounded so nonsensical; some were worded quite normally. Like 'Afternoon Farmer', used to describe lazy people, perhaps because farmers would rise early and grind through the day. If people wanted to call someone emaciated or skinny like a skeleton, they would call them 'Death's Head Upon a Mop Stick.'

    #16

    That's Some Seriously Old Beer

    A clever comeback about the origins of craft beer in an online discussion.

    XcOM987 Report

    Frank
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    not to mention that Budweiser is a brand of the AB Inbev group, with HQ in Belgium and major shareholder in Brazil. And the "B" in AB Inbev does not stand for Budweiser.

    Tabitha
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Anheuser Busch, which was Budweiser’s original brewery, is located in St Louis, MO by two German immigrants, Eberhard Anheuser and Adolphus Busch. Anheuser, whose parents had a small vineyard in Germany, came to America in 1842, and became a soap maker. In 1860, he bought a small brewery, and when Busch married his daughter, he gave his son in law a job there. Together, they created Budweiser (amongst other AB brands). In other words, they did all the hard work to make the company successful for a century and a half, long before InBev took them over in 2008.

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    Earonn -
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    *laughs in German* Please, US guys, stop embarrassing yourself. You have your president for that now and he's doing a great, oh sorry, "bigly" job! (Condolences to all decent US Americans)

    Lady Eowyn
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    From myself and other decent Americans, thank you. It's going to take more than condolences, sadly, to get through the next 4 (or more!) years.

    Load More Replies...
    Vincent Bevort
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I like the Belgium monk beers. 12% btw: beer is as old as the world. The Egyptians already had that kind of stuff!

    Scott Rackley
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yeah, you got to go easy on those. They don't taste like 12%, and after a few the sidewalk goes all lumpy

    Load More Replies...
    Lesley Relph
    Community Member
    9 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    'Craft beer' can't have been a term used for much longer than what - 30 years? Try Real Ale, and even that's not much older. Small beer - oh, and in a lot of countries weak beer was drunk by most folk, even children, as often it was safer to drink than water.

    Adrian
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Brit here in California, there's a local microbrewery that makes a decent real ale. Run by two Brits, of course.

    MalayDragon
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Every time someone i know praises an American beer, I break out the handy old Monty Python joke. "American Beer is a bit like making love in a Canoe. It's F*****g close to water!"

    Donna Peluda
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Makes me laugh when all the mucho murikans when ape xhit over bud light using a trans person to advertise. In Europe bud or bud light is what we pee after drinking beer.

    Alyce
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    WTH do these 2 sentences have to do with each other? Bad marketing for bad beer? Is that the connection?

    Load More Replies...
    Nice Beast Ludo
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    God WHO are these MORONS just making us look dumb and dumber on a daily basis? So embarrassing.

    Bryan Wright
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why do some Americans continually talk c**p?. They obviously have absolutely no understanding of anything outside their small-minded borders.

    Kylie
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The saying is true - American beer is the same as having sex in a canoe. They're both f*ng close to water.

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    #17

    God Is Out To Get Her

    Two social media profiles exchange hilarious clever comebacks about surviving multiple car accidents.

    reddit.com Report

    Chihuahua Mama
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    All 7 of those car accidents have a common denominator...

    Romy Rösli
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yup. Maybe her driver‘s license should be revoked? Just saying…

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    Maria Maria
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Perhaps his plan is for you to take more driving lessons

    M O'Connell
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Forget lessons, some people simply aren't equipped for the attentiveness and spatial awareness that driving requires.

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    Charles McChristy
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sounds like he wants you to take the bus.

    luci (he/fae)
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    his plan is for you to stop driving.

    chris Cannon
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If I was in 7 car accidents this year alone, I would not be bragging about it on the Internet.

    keyboardtek
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I just met a 69 year old man who when he was 41 had a stroke. He attributes his survival and still being alive to his faith in Jesus. I guess the surgeon, the nurses, and the physical therapist played no roll in his survival after all.

    Nina
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    God wants them to get driving lessons

    Trillian
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yeah, he wants you to go back to driving school

    Heras buddy
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Maybe he's trying to tell you that another round of driving lessons would be a good idea.

    Hollerfloozy
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Next Final Destination movie gonna be bout her...

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    #18

    Died Of Hungry

    Comment thread with a clever comeback about flat earth theory and a brain-eating amoeba.

    TheRealCodeGD Report

    General Anaesthesia
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The surgeon went in for the lobotomy and came out empty-handed.

    Tabitha
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    No, he went to do some trepanning on potato king, and was thrown out of the room and sickened by the blast of fetid air that came out.

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    Mike Rodrick
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If the earth were flat, cats would have pushed everything over the edge by now.

    KrazyChiMama
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I still can’t believe in 2025 people are this willfully ignorant…

    Lotekguy
    Community Member
    Premium
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why can't you believe it? Have you failed to notice election results throughout the Western world?

    Load More Replies...
    Romy Rösli
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I used to make fun of those crazy conspiracy theorists but recently their number has been growing as well as the level of their delusion and now I can’t laugh anymore. I think it’s gotten dangerous.

    Eric Williams
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Once again...Flat Earthers celebrate having members all over the globe!

    Heras buddy
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Maybe a worm ate his brains. He can join RFK jr.

    Stygtand
    Community Member
    Premium
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He ran so fast in kindergarden his brain got left behind.

    ManuelQue
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wisdom has always chased you but you have been faster.

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    Dan Cone
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Flat earthers" are just trolls who enjoy making you rant at them and waste your time, I think they are the best actors of all as people genuinely get offended that they're still out there

    Richard Graham
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Interesting. Robert Kennedy Jr. goes by "@potatoking7722"

    BrunoVI
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Did Tobias expect brains from a potato? Fortunately, potatoes are tasty in general.

    View more comments

    But how can we talk about insults without talking about The Bard himself whose put-downs were almost second to none? Truly, who else could come up with quips like "froward and unable worms," "fat guts," "clay-brained guts," "luxurious mountain goat," or "February face"?

    #19

    That’ll Show Him

    Twitter screenshot with a clever comeback about buying and burning books.

    owenjonesjourno Report

    Tobias Reaper
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    this makes no sense its like the people who bought Harry Potter books then burnt them to protest JK Rowling they already bought the books and made her richer so they are out of pocket not her

    Daniela Lavanza
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Burning a book is not a sign of tolerance, whatever the side. Censorship never worked anywhere.

    Anna
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Americans love setting their own money on fire to "own the libs."

    Dean H
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They love setting their own country on fire just to "own the libs".

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    Bryan Wright
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Owen will say anything to get noticed.

    Riley Quinn
    Community Member
    9 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The first time I heard about this type of self-vandalism, was back in '79 in Chicago. The "Disco Demolition Night". White Sox fans would get a discount into the game for a Disco record. A dumpster was filled with them, and as a promotional stunt, a local DJ, Steve Dahl, detonated it. Then a riot broke out. Dahl later proudly exclaimed how he hastened the "demise of Disco". The real atrocity was the nitwits burning their expensive Nike's to protest the company's decision to feature Colin Kaepernick in an advertising campaign. You can't fix stupid.

    EJN
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Insane cult thinking has its pitfalls...they cannot handle multiple steps of logic whatsoever.

    Ralph Vanloton
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Similar to the 'jilted girlfriend' giving 'oral' to all of her cheating boyfriend's mates just to teach him a lesson.

    Dean H
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Love Owen Jones. One of the few actual British journalists willing to stand up and call out UK and America for their complicity in war crimes of aiding Israel's genocide and ethnic cleansing of Palestinians.

    Gebidozo
    Community Member
    3 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Owen Jones? The one who made a scandal about an Israeli journalist describing the suffering of the Jews whose relatives were brutally m******d or kidnapped by Palestinian militants in October 2023? The one who one-sidedly supports the Palestinians in this conflict, demonizing Israel and the Jewish people in general? Riiiiight… He’d be mighty popular in N**i Germany.

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    Michael Largey
    Community Member
    9 months ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    Don't burn a book in public. burn its author - in effigy, of course. That's who you have the problem with.

    View more comments
    #20

    "Why Doesn't My Kid Visit Me Anymore!?"

    Two tweets discussing strict parenting, with a hilarious clever comeback about future nursing home rules.

    RegalHonesty Report

    panther
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That the son will be choosing.

    Stuart
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    16 year olds fought wars and this mum won't even allow her son the benefit of trust with a television.

    KrazyChiMama
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    We’ll check back with her in two years and see how her relationship is now with that same son once he turns 18…

    Snowkit
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yo…my mom has some restrictions like I can’t use social media or YouTube without supervision but this mom be tripping. I am allowed to do literally anything I want once I finish my hw then I’m like locked in my room with my tv and my parents respect my privacy too and don’t go like snooping thru my phone either bc they trust me to be responsible…

    Nice Beast Ludo
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This was my life. Thank God the parentsl controls weren't savvy yet in the early 00s. My mom would hit the flashback button and if it bounced back to MTV, VH1 or the comedy channel, ON RESTRICTION with no TV, no phone no internet and no friends no letters No driving. I hated her so much. It was just embarrassing.

    Ryn
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Nice Beast Ludo, so sorry you had to live like this; hating her is the saddest commentary of too much regulating…❤️❤️

    Load More Replies...
    CurlyFry
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That poor kid, it sucks when you have parents like that :(

    River Markham
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    At least I go to bed at 9 on my own terms. damn

    clairebear
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    A 16 year old have been educated about the Internet and it's dangers by now. Treat your kids like they are stupid and they will stay stupid.

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    #21

    Plot Twist: She Pays The Full Rent Now And Does Not Want Her Man To Build Up To Much Self Esteem

    Twitter thread featuring hilarious clever comebacks about sharing rent and packing bags.

    EllyClark Report

    Tabitha
    Community Member
    9 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    We’ve been married almost 24 years. We’ve always had joint checking and savings accounts, plus our own accounts. The joint accounts pay the living expenses we have in common, as well as save for common goals, and our own accounts are ours to do with as we please. I don’t know how Eden can’t understand that both people in a marriage have to contribute to the relationship. If she can’t contribute money, then she contributes in another substantial way (for instance, a SAHM may not contribute a paycheck, but she does contribute her 24/7/365 time and effort to keep the kids cared for, and whatever other household duties she can manage, kept up with). A marriage where one partner exhausts themself working long hours, keeping bills paid, kids cared for, and the house kept decent, while the other lays around not contributing anything but expecting everything to be done for them, will not last. No one is worth allowing yourself to be taken advantage of by them. I don’t care how rich, famous, good looking, or great in bed they are. Advantage-takers all come with a very short relationship expiration date.

    Tele Avision
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    People ask me why I didn't have any children, I supported 3 ex-wives.

    Load More Replies...
    Mason Kronol
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Married people split the rent? We’re married +20 and ask which vehicle has more gas to get to work! I’m NJ. I don’t have to pump anymore. But I have to make a lot of coffee.

    Lazy Panda 2
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well we split house costs. We have different incomes, so the split takes that into account.

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    Mike Crow
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Both our money goes into one bank account and we pay the bills and stuff.

    Riley Quinn
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why, I do believe Little Miss Eden thinks she's entitled. What do y'all think?

    EJN
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Good comment below, but I suspect that the OP cannot read that long a paragraph.

    Shawn Barry
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Your hubby needs to thro some drizzle, drizzle at you

    Romy Rösli
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When I was single and payed full rent on my own I lived in a 2 bedroom apartment with a tiny balcony. Now I share mortgage payments and other expenses with my partner and live in a nice house with a nice garden.

    Isabel Galvez
    Community Member
    9 months ago

    This comment has been deleted.

    SirWriteALot
    Community Member
    9 months ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    And yet it's *men* who are the preventing women from having a career, right?

    ॐBoyGanesh
    Community Member
    9 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Who said that? Names! Specifics! I want you to tell me who specifically said such. And who using the comments on BP said such. And how any one person or so has specifically said such is representative of an entire population or sector thereof. You’re manufacturing a complaint that simply isn’t real solely so you can be disgruntled about it whilst subtly implying women or liberals or whomever is whining like sissies because they’re espousing your fake complaint. We get it. And we all realize how stupid you sound with your silly, low-level thinking logical fallacy.

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    Shakespearean insults aren't just for name-calling. He was also a master of witty retorts. In Henry IV, Chief Justice tells Falstaff: "You are as a candle, the better burnt out." Or how about this very politically incorrect observation: "No longer from head to foot than from hip to hip, she is spherical, like a globe; I could find countries in her."

    #22

    He Is Honest. The Best Kind Of Doctor

    Text screenshot with a clever comeback about Botox and looking younger.

    baddanadanabad Report

    Jane Jayne Jain Jeign Jein
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    World needs more of this kind of brutal honesty.

    Mark (it/urgh)
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why? People just get all offended and start throwing words like cancelled around. What the world needs is a good war, that'll thin the herd a bit.

    Load More Replies...
    Tabitha
    Community Member
    9 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You won’t look younger. You won’t even look like yourself, or rather look like you would have if you’d taken better care of yourself and allowed yourself to age gently and naturally. You will end up looking like a caricature or cartoon character, and be an object of pity to others for your desperation to look like you did when you were twenty, especially when you’re nearly three times that age. Don’t compete with twenty year olds. They will always win, because they’re twenty. Be the best you can for your own age, and make the twenty year olds compete with you all the way UP at YOUR level. They will all pale in comparison to the fabulousness of an older woman.

    KrazyChiMama
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If used for a treatment of a medical condition then I feel the doctor needs to be more compassionate. I personally wouldn’t have it or any other unnecessary medical treatments because of the risks. The benefit doesn’t outweigh the risk in my opinion but to each their own!

    JL
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You may not look older, but you won't look human either.

    Kat
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ok no for real though THIS is the kinda doctors we need doing that s**t

    MaxMi
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Zero, but your dismomorphya feels better.

    B
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Too much fake out there right now. All that plastic is so not a turn on at all.

    Rabbi In The House
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Girls your age? How old is the patient in this scenario?

    Anna
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Botox doesn't make one look younger, it makes one look plastic. It looks so weird whenever a botox recipient does anything normal with their face, like smile.

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    #23

    Wow It's Like Makeup And Having Your Hair Down Makes You Look A Little Different

    Tweet exchange featuring hilarious clever comebacks about catfishing with juxtaposed photos.

    h_unt Report

    Auntriarch
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    *takes off glasses* but Miss Jones, you're beautiful! /s

    Ellinor
    Community Member
    9 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's why I love the movie "Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs", Flint tells to Sam that she is beautiful with her glasses and ponytail in a period where every other movies taught the opposite (and I wear glasses since I was 2 years old so that was a really important message for me)

    Load More Replies...
    Definitely a Human
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Also, to pick Jenna marbles lol. Her first big video was about wearing heaps of make up to trick boys into thinking you're attractive

    HardBoiledBlonde
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The umlaut used on "educated" by the OP.

    Kylie
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He also doesn't know thow to spell catfishing.

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    Sonny
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Im not agreeing with him, but her hair is two entirely different colors.

    antoinette maldari
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When some "blondes' pull their hair back into a pony, all you see is the dark roots

    Load More Replies...
    MaxMi
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    By the profile photo, that was an easy guess, Rob.

    Bob Brooce
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That man's mustache has definitely never been ridden.

    Ralph Vanloton
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Went from a 'witches chin' to having a 'british chin.'

    Seadog
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I prefer women with long hair (at least past their shoulders) and wear it down. And if it's curly/wavy then leave it the f*** alone. Whoever came up with flat irons and hair straightening is insane. Regardless what your friends tell you, it does not look better flat/straight. And if it is naturally straight then go with it, destroying your hair with perms is not attractive.

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    #24

    This Is What This Type Of Parenting Leads To

    Twitter exchange featuring hilarious clever comebacks about parenting and privacy expectations.

    battleangel1999 Report

    ABC NrTen FCK CENSORISM
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "we not friends" - yeah, because OP sucks bigtime as a father. The reply is spot-on.

    Vicky Phenny
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The thing is, parents like this won't even make an effort to stay in contact. I had no bedroom door for 6 YEARS because I talked back to my parents when I was 12. Now, I haven't spoken to them aside from texts for over a year and not once have they asked me to visit... but they complain to my grandmother that I never do.

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    KrazyChiMama
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You gotta find balance…you need to be their parent but remember you’re not their jailer/warden also…unless your goal is to raise adults who hate you.

    Bobby
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I always look at it that my job isn't to be their friend, but to raise them to be the kind of people I'd want to be friends with

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    Enlee Jones
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    50 years from now his kids are going to dump his a*s in a nursing home and never visit.

    jet
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'll never cease to be amazed by s****y parents bragging about how s****y they are.

    Deson
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I have had recently to block my mother and brother due to manipulative tactics, threats, and false accusations that I can prove are not correct. They just absolutely, positively are convinced that they are right and just couldn't stand the fact that after years of abuse that this "mouse" has finally had enough. Between them, my health and work stress I had to do something to maintain what shreds of my sanity remained.

    Liz Butt
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And now you can finally breathe. Ain't that great.

    Load More Replies...
    Tabitha
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I left home at 18 and never looked back. Now both of my parents are dead, and the world is a much better place without them in it.

    Barbara Wilcock
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I love my father, and we are friends.Im not afraid of him like your kids are afraid of you. You are a sad man

    S R Godwin
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I was SO lucky to have had two loving, kind, fair and good parents. They were generous too, although we were pretty poor. Children don't ask to be born, so don't treat them like you wish they never were.

    Load More Replies...
    Dragons Exist
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What a horrible parent, I'll be glad when his kids leave him

    LGBTQpanda
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Being controlling and restricting is NOT being a father. I was relieved to leave home and vowed to be a better parent. My adult kids are amazing and my time with them and grandkids is the LIFE!

    Riley Quinn
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I walked out of that no-privacy, I brought you into this world and I can take you out lifestyle 52yrs ago and began living my own life free of arbitrary rules, excessive judgment, and no one snooping through my drawers/closets.

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    The reality is that we don't live in a Shakespeare play. When someone insults us, we spend way too much time thinking of a comeback. A good retort only comes to us when we're lying in bed at night the following night. Psychologists say that's because the parts of our brains that are responsible for coming up with a witty remark turn off at that moment; they're sensing a threat.

    #25

    I Have No Idea Who This Man Is But I Love Him

    Twitter exchange featuring clever comebacks: "You asked for something you’ve never heard before."

    yajwokeup Report

    Auntriarch
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Xavier is a bloody genius

    Dan Cone
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Pakalu papito, the goat goes by many names

    Load More Replies...
    Riley Quinn
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's people like Xavier that I miss, but I'm on an indefinite absence from X. I really miss Twitter.

    Bob Brooce
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Burn them once, then burn them again when they need a explanation. It's pure genius.

    Heras buddy
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think Xavier deserves Saint hood.

    Seadog
    Community Member
    9 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think I know her. If not, she has a doppelganger, right down to the green hair.

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    #26

    Maybe That Rat Makes A Nice Meal And You're Being Judgemental

    Twitter post with clever comeback about a rat walking alongside someone.

    punkbread Report

    Robert T
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Reminds me of the line from Diamonds Are Forever where Bond encounters a rat in the pipeline he has been sealed into: "One of us smells like a tart's handkerchief." (Sniffs self) "I'm afraid it's me. Sorry about that, old boy."

    Chris the Bobcat
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Based on that profile picture, the rat lost a bet.

    Sheena Leversedge Wood
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'd make conversation. especially when passing people. "NO Jeff, we can't stop for ice cream! you know you're lactose intolerant, I can't take the farting!

    Regina Holt
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Are you walking in New York City with a pizza? They like to drag those slices away to eat in private. Share, and he will go away.

    somnomania (she/her, queer)
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    i would cautiously extend a hand to the rat and if it seems amenable i would give it a pet because i like rats as long as they're not mean

    Seadog
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    A mouse followed a mechanic at work one day for 5 hours. Every step back and forth to the t**l box and the boat he was working on. Sadly, the mouse stopped behind him and when he stepped back.....

    Ralph Vanloton
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You are 'bearding' for the rat...

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    #27

    Incel Says What?

    Two social media posts featuring clever comebacks, with humorous and sarcastic responses.

    SeriousExplorer8891 Report

    Livingwithcfs
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    be nice, don't insult the box of hair

    Marianne
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I ... I genuinely want someone to explain his logic to me.

    BeesEelsAndPups
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Simple. She's tracking her period because the reptilians have taken over liberal media. This then leads to a pizza place selling baby part juice to Jews so we can put lasers in space, ergo she's having an affair. Glad I could straighten things out for you.

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    Snowkit
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This man is…I have no words for his idiocy…

    Lea S.
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ew - what? Can someone explain to me the connection between using a period app and cheating on somebody?

    ManuelQue
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There isn't one. The man is a blithering idiot.

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    Heras buddy
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She's giving them too much credit. Even the vacum of space is smarter than this guy.

    Bubbles McGee
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If only men commenced every doc appointment, even if it's for an ingrown toenail, with the question, "Date of your last period?"

    Maartje
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Panda's , type "period tracking apps government" in Google and find out why those apps are a really bad idea right now.

    Janelle Collard
    Community Member
    Premium
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Most women in the US know this. The ones that don't probably live in red states. They'll learn...

    Load More Replies...
    Gwyn
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Because you're sterile?

    Riley Quinn
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Good one, Noelle, but you and I both know that a box of hair has far more value than Felix ever will. A bag of rusty, bent nails is more befitting for this chucklehead.

    View more comments
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    Psychotherapist Melanie Williams says that "Are you okay?" is the most universal response when someone says something wildly inappropriate to you. "There's so much packed in this short comeback," she told TIME. This flips the attention back at the insulter, not so much what they were talking about. Also, Williams notes, it invites the insulter to self-reflect.

    #28

    No Argument Here

    Social media post showcasing hilarious clever comebacks with multiple people agreeing humorously.

    reddit.com Report

    m6nbtfpx7q
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She really launched herself headfirst into that one

    PIO4 Office
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm a Black woman and I agree.

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    #29

    And The Most Hair-Raising

    Tweet with a humorous response about salmon preparation, highlighting clever comebacks.

    Apocafeller Report

    Susie Elle
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    In all fairness, I've made salmon in the microwave before and it turns out pretty great

    BrunoVI
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why? 15 minutes in the toaster oven and it will come out soooooo much better.

    Load More Replies...
    BiggBoii
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    people can still afford Salmon?

    Luke Branwen
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He's, like, a long-time member of the pantheon of bestselling writers ever. I'd say he can afford a salmon just fine.

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    Donna Crowe
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I have actually cooked Alaskan King Crab legs using this method. It came from Alton Brown.

    Nikole
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Geoffrey Zakarian has cooked fish in the microwave and swears by it!

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    Armac
    Community Member
    Premium
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Do it in the work kitchen for extra peril

    Connor N
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This might have been the hardest I've laughed

    Lea S.
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I do this regularly, it's delicious.

    Chuck
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If the fillet is thick enough, stick a rosemary stalk into while it's cooking. So good.

    Tabitha
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Do that at work, and suffer the consequences.

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    #30

    Cooking Together

    Text exchange shows a witty comeback about cooking being intimate, countered by a hilarious retort about solo cooking preference.

    The Humorists Report

    Orysha
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yeah, get out of my kitchen, that's a danger zone!

    Snowkit
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I only cook with my mom and my lil siblings, anyone else will die.

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    A girl
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I enjoy cooking with my husband but I get frustrated that he manages to be exactly where I need to be throughout the experience. He's like MasterCard - everywhere you want to be

    Jennifer Drake
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I have NO CLUE why you didn’t win an award the minute you typed this out. I’m crying. 😂😂

    Load More Replies...
    Laura Gillette
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Only if you do exactly what I tell you. I guess I'm a dom in the kitchen.

    Sarah Kathrin Matsoukis
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My bf is allowed to sit at the table and cut onions

    Papa
    Community Member
    9 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Early in our marriage I had told my wife I'd cook one night. I got started, and then she came in and started adding things that didn't remotely fit the plan I had. I went into the living room and sat down. She came in and said "I thought you were cooking." I replied "I thought so too." We tend to stay out of each other's way now.

    Anthorn
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I feel so highly uncomfortable when anyone else is in the kitchen with me. Let me make my signature steak, dammit!

    Marina Falkener
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Me too. Has nothing to do with cooking though; my kitchen is seriously TINY!

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    Mr. Jones
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Not even remotely true. When my housemate, husband and I host a family dinner for friends, the three of us are able to cook together in the kitchen with no drama.

    Lea S.
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I love cooking with other people in the kitchen and I do it regularly.

    Fat Harry (Oi / You)
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Dude is spot on. As soon as more than one other person is in the kitchen I have to say "Can everyone please get out of my kitchen? You're all in the way!"

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    Which of these comebacks did you like the best, Pandas? Do you think you will be using any of them in your own life any time soon? Let us know in the comments! And while you're there, don't forget to share with us the best witty retorts you have in your arsenal!

    #31

    Dads Having Fun

    Reddit dadjoke with hilarious clever comebacks about a baby's weight and parenthood humor.

    theabbiee Report

    #32

    Get In The Ball

    PETA tweet followed by clever comeback about Pokemon Go and animal treatment.

    LGappies Report

    Remi (He/Him)
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And sending the extra ones off to be grinded to candy you can feed to the survivors so they'll get tougher :)

    James016
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Says the organisation that murders dogs and who knows what other animals

    Lady Eowyn
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    PETA extremists have no sense of reality. They have been caught stealing animals from shelters to increase their number of "rescues." And so many other examples.

    B Hobbs
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Asked great-grand-daughter what she thinks happens to old Pokemons as I am eating my poke bowl. Her mother is very annoyed at me.

    Earonn -
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Guys, I know you hate Peta, but they added the ;) for a reason.

    Mike Rodrick
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Or put them in cages for people to photograph.

    Ryan Bogdansky
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I feel like I remember playing PETAs version of Pokemon black and white and iirc it has you literally k**l someone inside like 15 minutes of the game (might be wrong)

    Joanne Earle
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Does that mean Michael Vick was the brains behind Pokemon Go?

    Patricia Steward
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Good grief, I never played Pokemon Go, but it sounds excessively violent.

    #33

    It's So Simple

    Twitter exchange with hilarious clever comeback about passive income advice.

    Skullwriter Report

    DennyS (denzoren)
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why didn't I think of this sooner, all I needed to do was take $3mil and buy a treasure bond? Silly me...

    Mike Rodrick
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You can become a citizen of the U.S. for 5 million.

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    Gwyn
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Doesn't everyone just have 3 mil just lying around?

    Robert T
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I can scrape together 3 mil Iranian Rials (that's about 71.24 USD) ;-)

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    Lea S.
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Who am I taking the $3 million from?

    Stannous Flouride
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Anyone else get this ad in their BP email that tells you what to do when your portfolio portfolio reaches $1,000,000? tempFileFo...nsored.jpg tempFileForShare_20250306-183954-67ca5c09d894b__censored.jpg

    Dean H
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The rich really are next level delusional.

    ynyrhydref56
    Community Member
    9 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Whose 3 mil are we taking?

    Kerry Palmer
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Hmmmmmm. . .Now where can I get 3 million? I want to earn more in a month so I think I'll use 4 million instead.

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    #34

    Two Sides Of The Same Coin

    Tweet conversation with a clever comeback about makeup and video games.

    Sangaria4 Report

    Lisa T
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I’m a “grown” 53 year old woman still playing video games. 30 years of Playstation.

    Alexandra
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Let me trump (no pun) that: 62 years old, WoW-veteran from the get-go...

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    KrazyChiMama
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I must have missed that memo I’m 47 and I’ve been playing video games most of my life…starting with Atari with my dad :))

    Gwyn
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Bet this gal plays candy crush on her phone though

    Susan Wilson
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    61 year old woman here, currently playing Frontiers of Pandora after 4 playthroughs of Borderlands 3, but anxiously awaiting the next Assassin's Creed game. Big fan of anything AC. I have hundreds of hours in on Cyberpunk 2077 and hope the next one releases without as many bugs. I still remember the day my father brought home the newly released Pong. Oh and I wear makeup too.

    TaSim
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    As a bit of an AC fan myself can I recommend Starwars Outlaws, whilst waiting. I just think of it as AC in space/the future because the satisfaction of stealth clearing a large enemy outpost remains the same regardless of the setting.

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    🇫🇮 Goth Nurse 🇫🇮
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm a 48 years old mother - and an avid gamer since the 80's so suck on it girl!

    MushroomHead22
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    she says that, but probably spends about 1/3 of her day on her phone.

    JE
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Does she watch movies or TV or read books? How is that any different than playing videogames?

    Miki
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I am a 37y old game developer. Sue me.

    Rebecca McManus
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    57 yo female, still a gamer, age and gender is no barrier to k*****g things after a hard day pretending to like people

    Oops
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I am old (not telling how old) and still playing=FUN

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    #35

    The Man Himself

    Comment exchange with a clever comeback about steak, featuring a humorous Gordon Ramsay response.

    withouTXD Report

    Jules
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Couldn't be Gordon, not enough f***s in it

    Still Going
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They were probably there before BP got hold of it.

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    Kitsune
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    the man the myth the legend

    Tabitha
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    “Smack a steam”? Mooqz must have to smack his steak because no one else will.

    WalkieTaco
    Community Member
    8 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    good lord that roast was RAAAW

    Janine Randall
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I will smack my steak any way I please. Than you very much!

    #36

    Nothing Is More Accurate

    Person smirking with text overlay reading a clever comeback about a Disney prince, showing humor.

    RefleXzylo Report

    Nina
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Mcdonalds would like to have a word with him

    Dean H
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    McDonald's would probably sue him for copyright infringement

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    Zephyr343
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Looks like the work of Moses

    luci (he/fae)
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    dunno why you got downvoted, this is pretty funny !! im calling this the red sea part from now on

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    Auntriarch
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm hearing the Hawaii Five O theme, because of those waves

    Patrick H
    Community Member
    9 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don't get it. This thread is supposed to be cheering for people who make whitty replies to jerks and other stupid people. The only thing the dude in the picture did was choose a hairstyle that y'all don't like, so it's okay to make fun of him? Make up your minds.

    kansasmagic
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Couldn't decide between Zack Morris and Leo DiCaprio ca. 1996 - so he just got both.

    Chuck
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He doesn't look happy about it. I mean, why would he, right?

    Ryan Bogdansky
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I cant remember his name but he looks like the prince from princess bride

    Karen Klinck Klinck
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He looks like a Mousekateer trying to grow his own ears!

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    #37

    Best Way To Respond To Threats

    Funny auto-reply comeback to a threat, showing a clever response with a faux police warning.

    reddit.com Report

    Earonn -
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    These are funny, I just wish such a function would exist. With a 3 strike rule: 3rd threat of that time = jail. End of.

    Bubbles McGee
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I love how he tries every capitalization version of stop in case it's case sensitive

    Stannous Flouride
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Your allowed time to respond has expired. The report has been forwarded to local, state, and federal law enforcement."

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    #38

    Well You Can't Argue With That Kind Of Logic

    Reddit post showcasing hilarious clever comeback to question about saving something in a house fire.

    RabbitGuySentMe Report

    SheHulk
    Community Member
    Premium
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What is the first thing you take out of your burning house? Answer : The fire!

    Heras buddy
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    As long as the dog and myself are safe I don't need anything else. Had nothing a few times in life. Only thing that can't be replaced is my Sunshine.

    Bewitched One
    Community Member
    Premium
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Feel that. But replace dog with kids, and cats lol

    Load More Replies...
    Eugenia 🇮🇹🤌
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Which painting in the National Gallery would I save if there was a fire? The one nearest the door of course." George Bernard Shaw

    Bob Brooce
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My a*s. If there's only one thing I can save it's definitely my a*s.

    Lea S.
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Whatever I love, that is easy to carry, that is in between me and my exit.

    #39

    Bro Deleted His Account After This

    Woman in a wheelchair delivers a hilarious clever comeback in an online comment.

    saddisticidiot Report

    David
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why did you cross out her name? Fiona Cauley is a known comedian who makes a ton of joke about having Friedreich's Ataxia. She does roasts like this all the time. She sells out pretty decent size crowds on the circuit. She is hilarious

    MaxMi
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I hate when they ask "are you already in ?"

    Tamra
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What kind of knuckle dragger asks this kind of question?! Disgusting.

    AG
    Community Member
    9 months ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    You'll never know unless you ask. You can't blame him for being curious about how the world works.

    GhostlySnail (she/her)
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    But that’s a really inappropriate question to ask someone.

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    #40

    Is That Why There's So Many Of You 23 Year Olds Around?

    Two tweets with a hilarious clever comeback about why there are many 23-year-olds, referencing 1999.

    todayyearsold Report

    m6nbtfpx7q
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I was just young and uninformed of the effects of antibiotics on birth control even in the days after you’ve finished them. Imagine that, US public school had “health” classes one day in sixth grade and thought we were prepared for life.

    Vicky Phenny
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh hey, that's how my Mom had me! ...and my brother. The first lesson did not stick.

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    Heras buddy
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I blame it on Prince. Great album wasn't it.

    Lisa T
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Except it’s 2025 and the 23 year olds are turning 26, but there’s STILL too many 23 year olds.

    Regina Holt
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    These posts are not usually current. They have been around for a while.

    Load More Replies...
    Jane Hower
    Community Member
    8 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Did anyone notice a lot of 60 yr olds from the big NYC black out of 1965??

    Jane Hower
    Community Member
    8 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Had not thought of that. WOW But I also know there are a lot of us born on 9/30 or 10/1 because of fun our parents had on New Year's Eve. hehe

    Sophia Pandia de Delphia
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This will get me in trouble but here goes. The pamphlet that comes with the medication warns you of how long you need to use a backup method of birth control after taking the meds.

    MaxMi
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Same reason most people born end of september

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    #41

    It's Always Broken

    Tweet with clever comebacks about emoji use between Tanner and McDonald's.

    captainjolossidechick Report

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    #42

    Scientifically Wrecked

    Tweet with a hilarious clever comeback, correcting a rhyme by Neil deGrasse Tyson.

    Jed_Oliver Report

    Dave Nalesnik
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I love Neil DeGrasse Tyson, but I agree with the poet here 😆

    Peter Bear
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Roses are red, and violets are blue; well, that's what they say but it just isn't true. Now, roses are red, and apples are too. But violets are violet; surely not blue. An orange is orange, but Greenland's not green. And your pinkie's not pink, so what does it mean to call something 'blue' when it's not? We defile it. But hey, face the facts... it's just hard to rhyme 'violet'.

    Mik
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Violets come in lots of colours, roses too, and now it rhymes again, with I love you

    Rachel Pelz
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    As I understand, for a fairly long time people did not use words for mixed colors, such as purple, violet, orange etc. Everything colored was pretty much red, blue, yellow or green. That might be why violets are blue.

    Chilli
    Community Member
    4 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    violets are red, but roses aren't blue. Bought a blue rose on ebay? Then someone scammed you.

    Dean H
    Community Member
    9 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is ironic coming from a man who identifies as "black" then

    Joanne Earle
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yeah! He kicked Pluto out of the solar system!

    Liz Butt
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He did it personally? Wow. Didn't know he had that much power.

    Load More Replies...
    Šimon Špaček
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sometimes color in RGB and language are not the same thing. Quick example, when you order white wine, do you expect your glass to be filled with yellow-ish see through liquid, or white liquid?

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    #43

    Worlds Greatest Comeback

    Person responding with hilarious clever comebacks to a humorous comment about teeth.

    bingbonglane3285 Report

    BeesEelsAndPups
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Her teeth looked plenty straight. Why do people have to be mean

    Roxy222uk
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Considering a strait is a thin body of water between two bits of land, it's probably a good thing she hasn't got that in her mouth.

    Shaun Coleman
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "If I want your comeback I''ll scape it off your mum's teeth" - Jimmy Carr.

    Bill Mills
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Love how someone who misused the word strait while attempting an insult got 1.2K thumbs up and not a single thumbs down. If that doesn't tell you everything you need to know about social media...

    Mandy Delaforce (PC Girl)
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I have crowns on my top teeth that I have left. I specifically asked that they NOT be perfectly straight, as straight flat teeth look like dentures. Her teeth are unique and perfect for her.

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    #44

    Who's A Vet Here And Accepts The Challenge?

    Prime rib on plate with mashed potatoes; clever comeback about steak's doneness in text below.

    LukeZNotFound Report

    Wendy Hamilton
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's prime rib. Supposed to be that color.

    tameson
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If it was raw there would be blood on the plate. This is the color of prime rib that has been slow roasted.

    Wang Zhuang
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's underdone, even for prime rib

    Binky Melnik
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Despite prime rib being quite chewy and not being especially easy to cut, either, that photo has made me literally drop some saliva on my iPad!

    Bored Trash Panda
    Community Member
    8 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Who has been cooking it, because everywhere that I have been eating prim rib it has been like melt in your mouth delicious and super easy to cut. Whoever is cooking it for you must not be doing it right or it's a super crappy cut of meat.

    Load More Replies...
    Oops
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Pin it with a fork or it will stampede away, this is weird food, sorry. I could bite into a living cow instead.

    Ron Man
    Community Member
    9 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This one pops up just about every week. It's not a burn, it's an idiot replying to something he has no idea about. Then I read the comments here and realized a lot of people here have no idea what prime rib is. This isn't raw, it's been slow roasted for hours. Maybe put down the chicken nuggets and eat real food? How to say you have no idea what prime rib is without saying you have no idea what prime rib is.

    Anita MacDonald
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Aside from the color (which is excellent), look at the "cap" on that slice! "Spinalis dorsi is a superlative part of beef that marries the flavor and marbling of a rib steak with the tenderness of filet mignon." (Expensive and hard to find. I'm drooling....)

    Karen Klinck Klinck
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My best line at a steakhouse (Okay, I was exasperated by this time,) "Just introduce it to the fire and give it to me!" And I drove two rabid vegetarians out of a restaurant (hey, they were eavesdropping on our order!) "If the vet can save it, I want it!"

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    #45

    Sitcom Bullying

    Twitter exchange showcasing hilarious clever comebacks with a funny reply to ice hockey bragging.

    RedFauux Report

    Nina
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And admitting you were a high school bully isn't the flex you think it is..

    Ms.GB
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The irony is that bragging about being a bully makes you super dorky in the adult world..which is pretty much the rest of your life so remember that if you're still in high school.

    Load More Replies...
    ymzn8j5zsf
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Imagine being middle aged and still not knowing that bullying is about the shittiest thing on the planet

    Tabitha
    Community Member
    9 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Typical bully. All tough talk b******t. Until they have to interview for a low level job at their former victim’s billion dollar company, that is.

    Lotekguy
    Community Member
    Premium
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I wonder how much all those hockey players he coached enjoyed his bully side?

    Billo66
    Community Member
    Premium
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    screw you guys, I'm goin home!

    Lulu
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh, so HE'S a nerd?! Fine! Because nerds use their brains. They set goals for themselves, then through education and hard work, they achieve them!

    Joanne Earle
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well I see someone peaked in high school.

    Earonn -
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    All those body checks clearly left a mark on Joseph's brain...

    Curt Harvey
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And...no one on Earth that has every played hockey calls it " Ice hockey." If you played floor hockey you said floor hockey but I myself played hockey from the time I was 5 until I was 50 and neither I, not a single person on any team I every played with it against called it " ice hockey."

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    #46

    That Wasn't Just A Roast, That Was A Burn

    Text exchange showcasing hilarious clever comebacks between two people about a dream and a nightmare.

    Samicuz Report

    #47

    It's About Creating Something Better

    Social media post with a witty and clever comeback about younger siblings.

    L_Lawliet_4304 Report

    Daniela Lavanza
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Uselessly mean toward someone who said nothing wrong.

    Bogdan C
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Uselessly comment from someone that knows nothing about the context of the original post! Maybe it's a father/mother joking about their child! The main thing being "joke", which could have been deduced from the title of the article where it's clearly stated "hilarious comebacks"!

    Load More Replies...
    Debby Keir
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Youngest daughter (of 3) sent me a birthday card saying 'if at first you don't succeed, try try again'

    Mike Rodrick
    Community Member
    9 months ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    Or maybe it's not for you or you're doing it wrong.

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    Liz Butt
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This sounds to me that it's about someone who cheated and wanting to forget what he did and start over with her.

    Toggaph de Dratersi
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I have two younger siblings. I suspect my parents gave up after the 3rd.

    Tom Brincefield
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Friend was walking home from church with his daughters, and the youngest two were playing, running around on the sidewalk & street. Someone mentioned they might get hit by a car, CBS he just replied, "Why do you think we had 3."

    Nadira Abdulla
    Community Member
    9 months ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    Now that’s just mean. I hope the responder goes into a public toilet does her/his business and then realises, there is no toilet paper.

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    #48

    I'd Really Love To Know The Thinking Pattern Behind This

    Tweet with a funny response, showcasing hilarious clever comebacks about spelling January.

    whereicy Report

    UndertaleLover (She/Her)
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think the guy was trying something along the lines of "did you know if you say the word gullible very slowly, it sounds like the word 'orange?'"

    Earonn -
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Probably, but these kind of engagement farming things are so boring by now. Like someone reteilling a famous comedian's joke for the 100th time.

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    Rafael
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Not true. I spelt it "January" forward and "Janua" backwards, because I tripped in the dog. Maybe a mirror will help me next time?

    Liz Butt
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I wonder if she actually tried to spell it backwards. Like actually wrote it down.

    Sindhuja
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yraunaj?? Is everything ok?

    MushroomHead22
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think Icy is self-reflecting here. dude.... who writes like that?

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    #49

    Emotional Damage

    A funny review response with a clever comeback to a one-star rating about seeing a rat.

    takeawaytrauma Report

    Maria Maria
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Not funny. That is a legitimate concern if eating in a restaurant.

    Daniela Lavanza
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I agree. Does humor allow to ignore health issues?

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    Dan Cone
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Restaurant: "Ha ha no we don't have rats in the kitchen" Remi jumps out from a chef hat

    lwolf1952
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What about moose and squirrel?

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    #50

    Food Standards

    Wendy's witty response to a tweet, showcasing hilarious clever comebacks in social media.

    yaketaranga Report

    and_a_touch_of_the_’tism
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The two redeeming things about Wendy’s are the frosties and the social media.

    Hile Troy
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They re-did their fries and now they're pretty decent. Probably second after McDonald's.

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    Heras buddy
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Whomever runs Wendy's social media should get a raise. They have the best Roast s around.

    66y6dvmmw7
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Because Wendy's should talk, IMO their nuggets are awful. Parts and parts chicken.

    #51

    I Would've Called That "Double Tap"

    Funny exchange with clever comebacks correcting grammar mistakes in online comments.

    bella0lss0n Report

    #52

    I Want My Son To Have His Own Name

    Social media post with a hilarious clever comeback about naming sons "Jr" without a father's name.

    GarbageHuman24 Report

    #53

    Grandma Got Absolutely No Chill

    Two users sharing hilarious clever comebacks in tweets about LGBTQ+ experiences with family.

    TwilightOuterZone Report

    m6nbtfpx7q
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    These are the best kind of grandmas

    BrunoVI
    Community Member
    9 months ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    This isn't a comeback; it's just a randomly chosen sad comment.

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    #54

    First Date

    Tweet exchange showcasing hilarious clever comebacks about dating and sharing food.

    memesmelody Report

    Julie S
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is what annoyed me about the "Joey doesn't share food" Friends episode who takes food off another persons plate on a first date.

    GirlFriday
    Community Member
    Premium
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I once walked out on a date because the guy dipped his fries in my ketchup. Who runs their half eaten food across someone else's plate. TWICE. After the first time, I handed him the ketchup, asked him not to do that again. He looked me straight in the eyes and swiped his bitten fries in my ketchup. I dropped a $20 on the table to cover my part of the meal and walked out.

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    TotallyNOTAFox
    Community Member
    9 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    People that don't ask if they can have some usually yell things like "Ouch" and " Pull the fork out of my hand!" after grabbing things off the plate....

    Chilli
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If I have one of your fries I'm not paying for your full meal.

    #55

    Destroyed

    Tweet with a clever comeback about dating apps replacing elegant galas, featuring an image of a ballroom dance.

    dyingscribe Report

    BrunoVI
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Let's be real: These do exist, but this is not how wealthy people meet their mates anymore.

    Boredandsomea
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This sound like something a poor person would say

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    MushroomHead22
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Galas still exist. there is literally one every year in the states. and so many other rich people have these. what you get invited to is the club.

    #56

    Emotional Abuse Rule

    Comments showcasing hilarious clever comebacks about gaslighting, with a humorous exchange over its meaning.

    inconvenient_walrus_ Report

    #57

    Welp, He Deserved It

    Clever comebacks exchange on instagram about accents.

    Remarkable_Reserve98 Report

    BeesEelsAndPups
    Community Member
    9 months ago (edited)

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    I think "Isaac Soh Much Dik" would've been better

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    #58

    May Be The Best Response Ive Ever Read

    Social media exchange showcasing hilarious clever comebacks between users.

    rebecca8633xx Report

    Stuart
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I love it when a burn victim respects the burn.

    PetePanda
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Now I'm curious what's gonna be in where for more than a day

    Anonymous Female
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I was waiting for the "I'm not your pal friend" (SouthPark)

    #59

    Homocide By Words

    Wooden plank resembling a face, with funny comments and clever comebacks about it looking like a sad pig or a dog.

    rex4nic Report

    Daniela Lavanza
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Again, uselessly rude. Has being rude to strangers for no reason become trendy?

    ymzn8j5zsf
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yeah, it’s a joke - if that was aimed at me I would laugh!

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    #60

    A Hard Dose Of Brotherly Honesty

    Text exchange showing a clever comeback: "If common sense were a currency, you'd be bankrupt."

    Reader_Sloth Report

    #61

    Really Just Proving His Point

    Social media exchange with clever comebacks about modern definitions of bullying towards women.

    DisastrousMacaron325 Report

    vglw
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Might I suggest a mint?

    TotallyNOTAFox
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    To be fair, I saw dead serious articles about how men breathing in the direction of their GFs / wives while sleeping is misogyny, or how men jogging/ running as excercise are sexist for flexing their superiority over the women around

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    #62

    We Were A Proper Country Then

    Finger displaying moisturizer shaped like a mouse with a hilarious clever comeback tweet about going on Ellen.

    pandaGirl_95 Report

    Tabitha
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Even more years ago, it would’ve gotten you burned at the stake. Preferable to being on Ellen though.

    ABC NrTen FCK CENSORISM
    Community Member
    9 months ago (edited)

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    ??? /edit: lol I simply don't get this one and am getting downvoted for it? Some of you folks are really pathetic. :D

    #63

    I’m Definitely Using This One

    Woman sipping drink with a hilarious clever comeback about commuting in the comment section.

    Joseph_Blaze Report

    eric p
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    To be fair, if you play to bankruptcy I've had Monopoly games last for days

    Neb
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    We started adding bank loans :D

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    Miki
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I like that I can work remotely.

    Lyone Fein
    Community Member
    9 months ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    Or move closer to work?

    Lazy Panda 2
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Of course! If only I could afford to live in central London just round the corner from my office. But as I'm not paid half a million a year then I'm stuck with the commute. And no, my job doesn't exist where I live, or anything like it. And for some reason work I did perfectly well from home now has to be done in an office.

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    #64

    Mad Lad Cares About No One

    Twitter exchange featuring hilarious clever comebacks about retiring meme formats using "no one:"

    reddit.com Report

    Wang Zhuang
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I never understood the "No one" tweets and memes

    Snowkit
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They are just a random thig to make the other random thing funny. For example; No One: Me when someone wakes me up: *funny pic* and if I just posted the last thing it would not be very funny but adding the no one which is also random adds random context and makes it funny.

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    Billo66
    Community Member
    Premium
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yeah what does that even mean

    Rachel Pelz
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Hahaha this so beyond funny/extraordinary that no other person in the whole wide world could ever have had the same idea or experience". Well, at least no one who can figure out that's actually not "no one" but "everybody except that one person who tries so hard to be funny".

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    #65

    Someone Doesn’t Get The Pickup Line

    Text message exchange with hilarious clever comebacks about movie snacks and decoration.

    reddit.com Report

    DrBronxx
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Or...they completely understand the pickup line, but aren't interested so they're pretending not to get it. Then, of course, the other person insults them. All-in-all, bullet dodged.

    Lazy Panda 2
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Nor do I, so that's two of us.

    KeepTrying
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Me neither but I wonder if he’s saying he’d like to eat her?

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    #66

    I Feel Personally Attacked

    Tweet exchange showcasing hilarious clever comebacks about tech skills and correlation studies.

    UnstableIsotopeU-234 Report

    Tabitha
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    “Correlation Study”? That would be a waste of time. Correlation is not causation.

    Fat Harry (Oi / You)
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Correlation does not prove causation, but that doesn't mean it's irrelevant.

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    Norm Gilmore
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Not following what you're implying here? It's a nonstandard word but does exist.

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    Roxy222uk
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Is this 'insulting' someone by implying they're autistic?

    Jane Doe
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh! Oh! Oh! Is that the "joke"? Ha ha, linux was used by autistic kids...yeah, good one there...thanks for explaining, btw.

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    Snowkit
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    As someone with autism, this person sucks.

    LB
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    As another person with autism I honestly found this relatable and hilarious. But I understand people might dislike these kinds of jokes.

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    Bryn
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yah that it doesn't matter.. I originally learned computer literacy on a mac but now I haven't used a mac in probably 25 years. I'm a windows person all the way

    Rinso The Red
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I learned PC and Mac back in the early nineties to help my English professor in high school. That got my my workstudy in the IT lab in college. That got me a job doing tech support after college. That got me a job doing tech support at a better company. A now I'm managing a team. All because my English teacher couldn't be bothered to learn Mac.

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    #67

    Bro Got Bodied By An Airline

    Passengers boarding a Ryanair plane, showcasing hilarious clever comebacks on social media.

    Ryanair Report

    DrBronxx
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    A very s****y company clapping back at a paying customer is not a burn.

    Spidercat
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yeah but if their passengers could afford a better airline they'd already be on it... captive audiences will take this as the flights are cheap.

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    PFD
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Bring your own plane" is Ryanair's next customer service innovation

    Wang Zhuang
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If I were the original tweeter, I would've used this as the comeback to Ryanair's comeback

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    James016
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don't get what the original tweet was meant to be about

    ABC NrTen FCK CENSORISM
    Community Member
    9 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Same here. I mean, even if they had the widest stairs ever (I think that's what they're trying to "burn" RyanAir for, although I'm not quite sure), there'd still only be a single-person door?

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    Adrian
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Worst airline I've ever had the misfortune to fly...

    Sylvia Hinz
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don't get it, the stairs look fine to me.

    Mason Kronol
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is why I road trip. Don’t threaten me with a worse time.

    azubi
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Upvote for Wuppertal

    Daniela Lavanza
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    How to lose your customers in one lesson. Ever considered some people have health problem, painful knees, etc. that make climbing stairs a torture?

    Kathy Dragonfly
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I am quite sure that ryanair has enough costumers, no matter how minimal their service gets... people just want cheap travel.

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    #68

    Creator Of Geometry Dash Has No Chill

    Chat exchange showcasing clever comebacks between Subwoofer and RobTop.

    Tea_Grand Report

    cj be like
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    there are many shapes in the game, which have geometry, therefore it has to do with geometry

    #69

    The Internet Is Just Full Of Funny People

    Cacao pod on table with a witty tweet about making chocolate, showcasing hilarious clever comebacks.

    KhadijahKnows Report

    Remi (He/Him)
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Looks like they forgot to censor W***y Wonka

    Miki
    Community Member
    9 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This image and your reply should be an entry on that list :D

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    #70

    Bully Getting A Taste Of Their Own Medicine

    Text conversation featuring hilarious clever comebacks about a "d*****s award" and an alphabet soup insult.

    Cherrybaby03 Report

    Wang Zhuang
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Downvoting for the confusing censorship at the beginning

    Remi (He/Him)
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Anyone get the first word? My brain is bypassing all reasonable insults and going straight for Darwin awards for some reason

    Jane Doe
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Same! And it would make more sense because those "winners" can't give away the award because they are in jail, the hospital or the cemetary

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    ABC NrTen FCK CENSORISM
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The censored words are "dumbáss", "bítch", "ásshole" and "shít". Fúck this stupid, useless and confusing censorism.

    Mother of Giants
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I use a version of the last line all the time.... 'i could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and shït out a better argument" Made my mom spit out her food once lol

    Joshua David
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ment? Im sorry. People are idiots.