Many people perceive roasting as an act of love. The premise here is that witty, playful teasing among close kin without malicious intent can build trust and signal acceptance.
In the case of strangers online, slightly spicy banter can make for hilariously memorable exchanges. If you’re on the receiving end of epic burns, it can also be good training for not taking yourself too seriously.
So, without further ado, here are some of the best roast exchanges Bored Panda has collected for 2025. A few of these burns are so sick, they may require some ointment.
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On The Concept Of Christmas
Or when you put Saturn back in Saturnalia (which is the original Christmas).
It wasn't the original christmas, it was a roman holiday celebrated about the same time that christmas is.
Load More Replies..."I like your Christ. I do not like your Christians: they are not very Christ-like." ~Mahatma Gandhi
Why dont christians just invent their own holidays instead of stealing from us pagans? The only one that was not celebrated before christianity is the Day of Reformation and you barely do that one anymore.
It's called counterprogramming. When the Vatican saw all the Communists marching for labor on May 1, they made that date the holy day for St. Joseph the Worker so the anti-Communists could march too.
Load More Replies...Historically speaking, December 25th was chosen by The Church because of the Roman feast of SOL Invictus. - the Feast of the Unconquered SUN. They decided to "borrow" the date and repurpose it to the Feast of the Unconquered SON. YULE corresponds to the week of Saturnalia. Romans did not celebrate Yule. The Church adopted the actual DATE of Dec 25th in 336 AD. Like any other organized religion, the dogma of Pagans doesn't quite reach the true story. This is how legends begin. It was not about Yule. Or Saturnalia. This is based on historical records. I'm not stirring the pot - just trying to get the actual story out there.
Load More Replies...The way it's normally pronounced, it puts whichever Chris you like into Chrismis. For the past few years, I've been putting out cookes and hot toddy for Chris Pine.
It's funny when you look at history. Christmas was banned in the USA at first, because it was more like New Years Eve (heavy drinking, public lewdness) than the quaint family holiday it is now.
More like banned in the colonies before there was a U.S. Darn Puritans.
Load More Replies...Husband Of The Year Gets Called Out On His Misogyny
As a woman who has just started my period at 2am and is doubled up with cramps, may this man have explosive diarrhoea every day of his life.
That's it? Make it spicy, and every time he wants to have s*x. And I'm a guy.
Load More Replies...more proof that men have no business making laws for womens bodies.
Patriarchy Burn
Yeah, nobody complains about the Boogie Woman. Of course, she just dances and then leaves.
Load More Replies...It's dangerous for men and women. Don't jog at night.
Load More Replies...Spiders are cool. Men just stomp on them (and let us remove the smashed shyte). I will put them to a safe place.
Load More Replies...I'm going to continue repeating this to my grave. The oldest form of terr0rism is men perpetuating violence against women. It's been consistent for thousands of years.
When women prefer encountering a bear over a strange man, that answers this
Said this to my dad once when he said my niece's celebrity crush looked to "girly" to protect her. From what dad? Protect her from what? I could see the wheels turning in his head trying to come up with an answer that wasn't "men" it was hilarious!
Do these idiots not realize they would not exist if a woman did not give birth to them? When did common sense become not so common?
There is often a negative connotation to teasing. But as you can see in the following posts, these banter sessions are not intended to be painful or destructive. Experts describe this as prosocial teasing, which builds trust and affection while testing each other’s boundaries and not going overboard.
I Wish I Could Reply Like This
Bro would love my aunt. She's 60 years old and has never once pumped her own gas. She'd have her dad do it when he was alive, or her husband, or go to one of the few full service gas stations left around here. And she's fúcking proud of it. Like girl being a spoiled princess at 60 fúcking years old is not the flex she thinks it is
I can't even imagine WANTING to act like that. I've been pumping my own gas since I got my learner's permit at 15 years old - almost 30 years ago XD
Load More Replies...And that idiot in bed probably gives her gas as well. Or emits his own.
i cant even... i mean... WHAT DOES HE THINK??? w*f?? I seriously cant. I mean.... jeses christ.
Apparently, God Was The One Skipping Happy Hour
I have always been confused as to why AA should promote the idea of fixing one addîction by substitution of another. Why not teach self-reliance instead?
Self-reliant yourself out of your a*******n then. Lots of folks in any of the 12-step meetings avoid relying on God, from the newest person down to some of the original 100 AA members. Best way to use the services in the 12-step meetings is to use acronyms as principles you adopt, like Good Orderly Direction. Anyway, there's non-spiritual recovery programs out there, I think one is called Smart Recovery. The thing is these things offer a way out of hopelessness. If doing it yourself worked, wouldnt you be already fixing yourself all by your lonesome?
Load More Replies...I just want to say to all you BP users that overcame your a d d I c t i o n, that you are all amazing rockstars and I’m so proud of you all! :) <3
Their god is always responsible for good things happening. Not for good people getting cancer or 4 year old girls getting ra.ped by their father (something an omnipotent god could easily prevent without the ra.pist even noticing).
My measuring stick is like "if the omnipotent and all knowing god that did nothing against the hólocáust moves their áss to help with exam problems I really don't think they're worth my worship".
Load More Replies...I'm sorry but this really píísses me off, how dare people take that courage and strength away from someone, they did that, something so hard, so life changing, to basically tell them it wasn't them it was god, no, im sorry, all the respect in the world to those people who did it ON THEIR OWN
If there's nothing bigger than me running the universe we're all in a lot of trouble!
Load More Replies...I've been sober for 25 years . I tried AA once, but realized the reason I'd started drinking to begin with is because I have severe social anxiety, and when I drank it went away. I got sober and stayed sober all by myself.
I left the rehab I was at last year in October because I got sick of being told the only way to sobriety is through Jesus Christ. Still haven't touched fent since September of '24.
No dṛug makes sense. Religion is a dṛug. Use only in moderation if you really have to.
Load More Replies...Mommy I’m Scared Of Socialism
Society should always be striving to advance and at some point it became complacent. People are so blinded by the propaganda spewed out by the government, they can’t see it’s getting them no where and only a few reap the benefits. Until people agree to evolve and learn to think for themselves, nothing will change.
Bottom is the theory, top is how it always came out in practice (from a historical POV)
I don't know why you got downvoted. It's true. In Russia, China, Cuba, Cambodge, etc. so called communism was never achieved. If you read Marx and Engels' book you see they propose a revolution in three steps. But if you look at history, only the first two were ever achieved. And the power that had been overthrown was only replaced by another one. - Revolution : check ; - Temporary governement controlled by socialists : check ; - Communist Party dissolved to have stateless communism... Still waiting. People are so fed up with capitalism that they see a solution in the other extreme. It's scary. Democracy really is more in danger than ever. Wether on the right or the left we never learn, do we?
Load More Replies...Communism/socialism have become almost meaningless words in the U.S due to mostly rightwing politicians using it to disparage anything they hate (i.e civil rights-communism, women voting-communism, labor unions- communism etc) it's pathetic that it still works, especially on old people currently benefiting from Medicare. Also, trumps is the most socialist admin since FDR except only the rich industrialists, ceo's, and corporations are benefiting.
Prosocial teasing has its benefits, according to psychology researcher Dr. Peter Gray. For one, it is an expression of acceptance of one’s character by looking at a person’s flaws in a lighthearted manner.
“Teasing can be a playful way of expressing that knowledge (of someone’s strengths and weaknesses) and thereby reinforcing the friendship,” Dr. Gray explained.
Oh, You're An Artist? What Medium?
I'm grateful for one thing AI art has done for me. Seeing it everywhere pissed me off so much I started doing actual digital art out of spite.
I'm not especially artistic, but what little art I've done I did with my digits.
Load More Replies...I’m trying to find a connection or relate with a unique expression of an aspect of the human experience. George Washington playing an electric guitar somehow fails to deliver
On The Power Of Belief
I hate how people take the true meaning of Christmas, gift giving, family time, lots of food, and then try and shoehorn Jesus into the holiday.
The fact that christians just renamed the old Yule holiday and now act like it was their invention, shows that the religion is all about believing and none about actual facts. Leave us with our yule tree and yule elves and yule lights and yule feast and we wont complain about your thieving ways in your weird stone worship houses that always smell funky and have awful music and uncomfortable seating (and I wont even start with your priests and children, cause you know about that one).
I agree let us celebrate the battle of the Yule and Oak king, so the warmth and sun will return :)
Load More Replies...In France very few people view Christmas as a religious holiday. All my family and friends are atheist, and we always celebrate Christmas. It's a family holiday !
As athiests with a child in Australia we bring in a Christmas tree so the fairies have somewhere to get out of the heat outside. They can enjoy our air conditioning.
Load More Replies..."Christmas" was, originally, a pagan holiday. The festivals of the Winter Solstice and Saturnalia.
No. Christmas was chosen for December 25th because the Romans had SOL Invictus - the Feast of the Unconquered SUN on that EXACT date. The Church, in 336 AD, chose that date - right after Saturnalia, a solstice feast - and changed the meaning to the Feast of the Unconquered SON. Just like using OSTARA and changing it to the similar sounding EASTER. Historic FACT. Over the centuries people have associated it with Saturnalia, but the date is the real story. However, I heartily believe in celebrating Yule and/or Saturnalia.
Load More Replies...But if we celebrate the solstice instead, they whine about the "war on Christmas".
The PURITAINS started the War on Christmas, angering King James by calling it Pagan (yes) then he expelled them from England, the Dutch rejected them for being too extreme, they boarded the Mayflower, and you know the rest. Salem
Load More Replies...If you want to celebrate Christmas as a religious holiday go right ahead, but to a great many people Chrismas (and Easter, too) is simply a special day to be enjoyed. You probably don't have to work, you may visit with people you like, and you may uses it as an excuse to exchange gifts. What's the problem with that?
The reason for the season is Yule, which was appropriated from the Norse, just as Easter (Eastor) was appropriated from the Celts, by shoehorning Jesus into local native holidays in a blatant effort to override them with Christianity.
What Is The Obsession With Us Needing Them?
In a survival situation what can men do that women cannot? I'd say both are in trouble unless survival skills have been learnt. And specific genitals are not required to learn such skills.
my mom once said "the washing machine doesn't care what's between your legs" Basic life skills should not be seated in gender rolls. Just sad.
Load More Replies...Every abvser says "you need me! You can't exist without me!" while it's actually the other way round.
Yeah. Once, many years ago, I was talking to a guy in a bar and he asked me why I wasn't married. I said I didn't need a man. His immediate response was "oh, so you like the ladies." As if the only reason a woman would prefer to be alone would be if she were a lesbian. I had to explain the way of things to him. I also had to explain, repeatedly, to many, many people that no, I would not be having more children, no I would never remarry, no I did not feel the need to and never would. I can not believe the number of people who tried to convice me I was wrong and or would regret it at some point. Here's me, absofreakinlutely not regretting it.
Load More Replies...Ma preacher man done told me that God made y'all from our ribs. It says so in that there Bible. I stop at church sometimes to cool off on my way to town. They have ready made pizza frozen in a box! And perfume for yer armpits! lmao
Yo preacher man done lied at you. Humans normally have 12 ribs a side. Male *and* female.
Load More Replies...If we want the human race to survive we need both. But you could argue about what ratio would be needed. I'm guessing humanity could easily survive with something like 50 women per man, or even more.
Artificial insemination options reduce the need for men greatly... I do not believe any woman needs me but I do hope the few that are attracted to me enjoy being in my company.
Load More Replies...Playful jabs are also a way to deflate egos. According to Dr. Gray, these banters are also a way of reminding someone of their flaws, which keeps them grounded. This may be especially true when dealing with someone who appears arrogant.
As Dr. Gray explained, everyone has their moments of arrogance, and light teasing can help bring that person back to reality.
Roast By Mom
They've censored the "hǒ" in the surname. Greenhõwe. I think!
Load More Replies...Whats The Diffrence Between Women And Transwomen?
He's a fantastic stand up comic who shuts down transphobic or homophobic hecklers with ease. Highly recommend him.on YouTube.
He also puts the tRumpers in their place when they heckle his shows.
Load More Replies...As a cis bloke, I'm not trusting him with my drink either
Load More Replies...Hofstetter takes the fight to MAGA (and related goons) like no-one else. Dude is a hero without a cape. Check his work on YouTube if ya doubt.
I read an article about an antiroofie bar that shuts down if someone thinks their drink was, no one leaves until their pockets are emptied, and the offender arrested
In the meantime the offender has already dropped the remaining dr.u.g in the toilet and pushed the button.
Load More Replies...I love Steve! He’s so funny and sharp. Calling it like it is and should be!
Made In USA
"We can't have minimum wage since that would make the food expensive! Also you have to tip at least 30% because the waiting stuff NEEDS that money to survive..."
If they all had a decent wage in USA, they wouldn't need tipping, which is a form of begging.
There it is, here in the UK it's a gratuity that shows you appreciate a server's efforts...
Load More Replies...I just read minimum wage is going up in January 2026 to $11 per hour…who can live on that?!
That's just in your state. Some states (red ones, such as Texas, Oklahoma, etc.) are staying at the Federal rate of $7.25/hr. :(
Load More Replies...Nope! But folks still act rude and demand 5 star treatment from people making minimum wage.
Sure I will too...when america starts paying me and letting me keep the money I earn to do so.
This is also obviously not true as the American car manufacturers are in trouble
CEOs and shareholders come first, per SCOTUS v Henry Ford, 1920s. Take a lawsuit back to SCOTUS to reverse it
Dodge v. Ford Motor Co., 204 Mich 459; 170 NW 668 (1919),[1] is a case in which the Michigan Supreme Court held that Henry Ford had to operate the Ford Motor Company in the interests of its shareholders, rather than in a manner for the benefit of his employees or customers. It is often taught as affirming the principle of "shareholder primacy" in corporate America, although that teaching has received some criticism.[2][3]
Load More Replies...Studies have also shown that roasting a romantic partner may be healthy for the relationship. It primarily argues that humor is integral to strengthening connections. According to the findings, women reported more satisfaction in their relationships when their partners could make fun of themselves.
"Earlier studies have shown that people are looking for a partner with a sense of humour and who enjoys a laugh," said psychology professor René Proyer, who was one of the researchers.
Rednote User Asking The Real Question
I bet someone said "its not free if you pay tax", and at the same time payed their insurance fee.
It's ironic that if you took the amount Americans pay for health insurance and put it toward a single-payer non-profit medical system we would have the best paid doctors and hospitals in the world and everyone in the country would have incredible health care access. We could even offer free medical school and have money left over. We spend so incredibly much on health care to get so little.
Load More Replies...The biggest joke is obviously Donald Trump but I don't think anyone is laughing.
Sadly that’s not a joke…healthy foods are expensive here in the US…processed and fast foods are cheaper.
That's because big companies have made that your reality... Profits before customers' wellbeing.
Load More Replies...Umm bc we can't afford to shop on the outskirts of the shopping aisles? Meat and cheese...is for the kings...we get nutrition free snack cakes and our fruit freeze dried in the candy section 2 for a $1
Sounds About Right
Also to homeschoolers. They are not dumb if the parents actually teach them. There is a difference between actual homeschooling and being lazy. I was homeschooled so was my sister. We both made the deans list every year in college. Between the both of us we had all As and one B.
Load More Replies...Best description of tariffs: It's like trying to pay off your mortgage by charging yourself rent. ~ Alex Cole
Huh, I just bought an Android for $250. This is an upgrade as I usually spend about $100. Are you SURE you need a $1000 phone?
Yeah, to impress the by-passer on the street, who doesn't give a fack.
Load More Replies...And they are allowed to vote.. please go vote the s**t out of next election!
It's always so much fun when y'all decide to turn this into something political
Load More Replies...My Android phone cost $249 and does everything needed. People are stupid getting into debt for the latest IPhone!
My iPhone 6S Plus lasted 8 years and Apple gives updates until your software can no longer handle. Updates are free. I’ll take iPhones anyday.
Load More Replies...I keep seeing this one, and the roast makes me giggle every time.
All the mobile phones I have owned since 2002 collectively haven't cost as much as a new iPhone costs...
“There Has Never Been Another Nation That Has Existed Much Beyond 250 Years”
I know. The castle (chateau) in our town was constructed in 1137 and then rebuilt in 1308.
Late on in the morning and again just after lunch?
Load More Replies...My neighbors family has lived in their homestead longer than USA has existed.
And they can't even count, the declaration of independence was signed in 1776, so 2025 is 249 years 🤦🤦
Because the 12 months after a kid is born is their first yesr but they sre nit yet 1. This is tge 21st cebtury but the year is 2025.
Load More Replies...Does that looney tune even know how his own nation came to existence?
However, the researchers also offered a caveat: crossing that thin line between playful roasting and ridicule – especially when doing so to others – can strain relationships.
"These three characteristics are personality traits that can occur at the same time, to varying degrees and in different combinations,” Proyer explained. “They can range, for example, from making harmless jokes to ridiculing others. All of these characteristics are normal, up to a certain point.”
Literal Truth
It's VERY important to me, especially, because my dogs are both named after characters from the book Dune XD
Load More Replies...Did you know white folks are not in the bible despite every light skinneed, blue eyed Jebus hanging in a church?
If ICE found Jesus in the street they'd deport him.
Load More Replies...Let me know when the bible describes the average height of a red kangaroo.
You'll wait for ever. The semi-ignorant goatfackers at the hills of Galilee, who wrote the bible, had no idea of anything 1000 miles beyond their village.
Load More Replies...Has anyone done the maths? Like how may species could you actually fit in that ark?
Well, after the lions eat the zebras there will be more room.
Load More Replies...Yeah he meant Go for wood. They translated it wrong. /lol
Load More Replies...Did you know my recipe book explains how to bake a cake? And dictionaries explain the actual meaning of words!
Dodging Kids Like Bullets
Many thanks for the second sentence. I thought you were talking about condoms.
Load More Replies...Just Cant Escape Them Can We
Those two things are pin-for-pin compatible.
Load More Replies...I am guessing we are talking about Hedy Lamarr. She didn't invented wifi, but yea she played vital role. I love this woman.
I suspect my female hominid ancestors who ran the troop would disagree. We were not created but we evolved.
They Would Whistle
That indrawn breath between the teeth.... "It's gonna be difficult. We can't get the parts....."
First I thought "Gift" above meant cat calling.. 🤷♂️👍
Load More Replies...I made both my kids a 0th birthday cake (well, sort of, since they didn't get to eat any). Although it was a few days after they were born, since I had just given birth.
Maybe put a 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9 beside it?? Oh, and that is to the left of the zero! 😂
You do realize that comment is kinda forced, right? Nobody sellls a 10 candle. You buy the 1 and 0 ones. Or is Gift Makoti trying to say there are no birthdays beyond 9 years of age?
They would also whistle like mechanics if they looked at YOUR brain. Perhaps it's the wind whistling in between your ears? Sorry, you deserve getting teased on after that comment! Thank you Captain Obvious for your contribution.
Load More Replies..."Break Your Ankle" Is Crazy
She's still looking for her jeans. The ones this chav is wearing.
Load More Replies...Apart from everything else the socks really bother me. You wear either invisible socks or full socks, no exceptions.
Reminds me of The Mighty Boosh episode where Vince was trying to fit into drainpipe trousers so he could sing with the Black Tubes.
I really hope that’s edited, although why anyone wants long, skinny legs and huge feet is a mystery to me.
Loool. I didn't notice that either. His feet are wider than his calves 🤣
Load More Replies...Dude, Do You Even Hear Yourself?
Who wants a woman with an independent mind? Let's just find domestic and reproductive slaves to satisfy our needs. If men want an intellectual conversation we can always get paralytically drunk down the local and tell each other how we would manage the sports team we like.
Perhaps if the "dude" weren't so stupid, she wouldn't have to correct him all the time?
Yeah, my ex kept telling me I was argumentative....
Load More Replies...I know a way or two for him to solve that problem. 1) Shut TH up - no words exiting your mouth means no disagreement from people within earshot. 2) Don't spout idiocies (technically a variant of #1, but would still allow him to speak). Also: if you wanna feel like a man you might wanna start acting like one instead of a brat. Dress your voice for the job you want, so to speak.
If this is what you're looking for...buy a doll. I'm not saying women should s**t on your ideas but "your better half" is there to respectfully challenge you, help you grow, learn, adapt, understand and love. Thats not coming from anyone without personal opinions and feelings. You're looking for a hole, not a whole woman.
That's One Way Of Putting It
I mean, fair question. Isn't their god all-loving and good? Would such a god not heal a handicapped person so they can take part in mass?
Why doesn't God miraculously cure them? The first question might have been facetious.
Cause they won't allow handicapped person into the church? Or they were not willing to heal them, cause they could not be healed here?
As their disclaimer says, if the healing fails it was because your faith wasn't strong enough...
Unless they're questioning why God hasn't healed the sick and lame, like the Bible says he will.
My mom's favorite quote '" Use your head for more than a hat rack!"
Shots Have Been Fired
Some kids really need to be left behind. We have people in high school that have the comprehension of a 1st grader.
A Colorful Fellow
I personally dont find him physically attractive but him as a person I can understand people being attracted to, from what ive seen and heard, same with Lewis capaldi
I cannit abide Lewis Capaldi after what he said to Henry Cavill on the Graham Norton show. Straight up s****l harrassment.
Load More Replies...Ryan Gosling said this about himself and it wasn't until then I'd realized he was right I didn't actually find extremely handsome but he'd said something along the lines of he's not really an attractive guy...women are just attracted to his characters. I really looked at him and was like "oh s**t...he's right!" Not that he's some hideous creature but the roles he played were what I thought was "s**y"
you can only trhow up in your mouth. Maybe mention it when you throw up in your hands on your knees or in someone elses mouth (Spinal Tap!)
I think it means that the vomit doesn't get any further than the mouth, rather than fountaining forth into the world
Load More Replies...Tried To Jump On The Bandwagon. Missed
Look who suddenly yearns for Diversity, Equity and Inclusion...
Just remember how many americans don't know that Puerto Rico is an amercian territory lol.
And everyone know white people are infamous for dancing way better than everyone else. Our immaculate rhythm shines so bright on the dance floor...during the electric slide. 🤣 im certainly stereotyping but if im looking for dancers im looking starting by most melanin and working my way down.
Think of all those kids watching at home and thinking the fact they are white will exclude them from their dream of being a back up dancer for the Super Bowl halftime show.
Me Hands Dirty, Me Strong
My hands looked like this after changing a wheel today. For about 5 minutes, until I washed them. Try soap, perhaps? It might be too late, though....
Him: "If your hands don't look like that you a WOMAN lmao." Bigender me: "Ok, fine, I'm a woman! Totally cool with that! 😊" Him: "NO YOU'RE NOT"
Oops, I am a lady because I do not do manual work. Let me just put my skirt and blouse on.
I on the other hand am some sort of trans apparently - female on workdays and male on my days off (I garden and blister easily)
Load More Replies...dude. its called soap. Or gloves. My bf worked in a factory for 40 years, and always wore gloves. His coworkers made fun of him. Guess who still has the nicest softest hands :-)
Men! If your hands look like this, know that chances are every woman who looked at them today (even if she's a lesbian) thought "oh my god those would never go inside me!" Men are often attracted to the soft sweet things about women. Clean, soft skin, delicious smelling..BUT that's not a feminine thing. Women want that from a man too in most cases. Your hands are one of the first things we notice about you...and dirty is not a plus!
I don't know a single woman who would want to be touched by those hands. Two words for you, dude: soap and moisturizer.
When I was married I took off my wedding ring to do anything the required working with heavy equipment. The ring can pinch and tear the skin, and if it gets bent, it can cut off circulation and you lose the finger. He's still a idiot though
Load More Replies...Bro Thinks He's Homelander
Reminds me of like 2010s when every edgy tween was posting "deep" quotes like "As a child, you idolize Batman... When you grow up, you realize Joker makes more sense..."
If you identify with Homelander in any way you should be on a watchlist if not in prison already. Yikes...
I Strive To Be This Creative
The thing of the left looks like flatbread. So lunch made with that, cream cheese, sardines and hot sauce? No idea how that's supposed to help with guessing the job though😄
Load More Replies...I thought that black thermos thing was a finger/fingernail can opener lmfao but ima guess healthcare cause they don’t have time to eat an actual lunch?
A Pretty Unique Insult Found On The Match Thread For The Recent USA - Scotland Game
The sportsball went like this into the goal. (Replace word in meme with sportsball)
Load More Replies...Rugby. A sport that truly separates the wheat from the chaff. 80 minutes of continuous play with no helmets or padding. The episode of Friends where Ross tries to play Rugby to impress Emily had it spot on.
Apart from all the details of the game of rugby! "Ross, get in the scrum!". THAT'S NOT HOW SCRUMS WORK!
Load More Replies...And Scotland isn't even the top teams. Not even in Six Nations. They are pretty hard to beat, physical, but not that good.
Best gag on this whole page, BAR NONE. I was HOWLING with laughter at this
I Would Do The Same
The YT channel "Chat Music" made 4 songs out of comments posted below the trailers - It's AI music, but it's very entertaining
Hang on before you suddenly deplane... Could be the classic animated one... If not then I will join you .
Insult So Good, Even The Insulted Was Impressed
Just shake your hand at them and say "here, have a bouquet"
Load More Replies...Gx Got No Chill
Ironically, both Edge and Opera are based on Chromium... so it's a bit of a self-burn too.
The irony being that Edge and Opera are the two browsers that violated data protection and privacy laws by surrepticiously forwarding user data and telemetry to third parties for a fee.
Handwriting Reminiscent Of An Ecg Reading
After the apple has defeated every doctor, he is up against the end boss, this guy.
Load More Replies...This is writing? I thought they were having an earthquake.
Load More Replies...An ECG reading that looks like that would be an emergency. That's like a seismograph in California
I'm pretty good at reading bad cursive handwriting, but this would take me a while to interpret one sentence. It is some class notes, one line shows "p. 85". It honestly looks like what I used to write on a piece of paper, before I learned to read, and then show to my parent and ask them, What does this say?
It looks like what I write on a piece of paper when I'm testing a pen to see it works.
Load More Replies...Reminds me of the experiments going spiders different d***s & showing how it affected their webs. The one a bit like this writing was on LSD i think.
I think it's more of a technique for the writer to recall specifics when he "reads" it back. Thousands of years from now, someone will find this "secret code" and spend their lifetime trying to break and decode it. Writer thinking about his future...
That's not handwriting, that's a seismogram. And wherever that is, you should probably leave it.
This Might Be A Crime Scene
This is a question your middle and high school science teachers would have been more than happy to explain to you.
This is why opioids don't work for fibromyalgia. The pain isn't coming from the peripheral nervous system; it's coming from the brain's misinterpretation of sensory stimuli. Weed works, though. Recent medical studies show that endocannabinoid dysregulation and dysfunction are prevalent in fibromyalgia patients. Just like opioids block pain from the peripheral nervous system, cannabinoids block fibromyalgia pain. Having been a fibromyalgia patient for 25 years, I can confirm anecdotally that edibles severely reduce my fibro pain. (Unfortunately, edibles don't work for some people, because their livers break down THC too efficiently, eliminating most of it before it can enter the bloodstream.)
I told my pain management doctor 20 years that Cannibis was helping my pain and he just stared blankly at me. I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia about a month ago. Looks like I was appropriately self medicating after sll!
Load More Replies...I'm getting on the bus, too because he still didn't answer the question.
Self Burn
What is this doing here? That's a humorous reply. Making oneself the b**t of the joke on purpose isn't a self-burn. Or are your egos now so weak that you can't even joke about yourselves anymore?
For whatever reason, this hit me as The Funniest Thing I've Read All Day. I've been giggling for seven straight minutes. Send help.
The Worst Kind Of Beans
Your grandpa's dog looks miserable. Put him (and possibly Grandpa) on a diet and excercise routine.
I hate to admit that I thought the last half of your statement was going to be, "...Put him (and possibly Grandpa) down." I think I need to go listen to some music. o.O
Load More Replies...These Times Are Hard On Everyone
aside from the overall travesty, i have never seen pasta served with a side of rice
That’s because you’re not poor. Many (all, maybe) food distribution systems serve the cheapest things they can find, meaning we’re often served paste, potatoes, and rice IN THE SAME MEAL. I didn’t know it was a thing until I was in a homeless shelter.
Load More Replies...In Hawaii we regularly have Mac salad and rice. Nice balance. Not whatever this s**t is though.
Load More Replies...That's... a c**p ton of carbs and guarenteed constipation on a plate
It's a recipe for macaroni/pasta salad and 24+ hours of painful squirts for those of us with rearranged digestive systems that can't handle carbs... Trust me, I know from personal experience.
Load More Replies...1. Pick one carb. 2. Put in casserole. 3. Top with a blend of cheese and a small amount of mayo. 4. Broil top until golden brown. 5. Serve with a side of self-respect.
Alfredo sauce is garlic, butter, cream, and Parmesan. I don’t know about you, but I could make that right out of my refrigerator now. So mayonnaise was completely unnecessary and yuck.
These are people who have no idea how to cook and just use sauces from a jar.
Load More Replies...On A Post Talking About Gaza
I'm American. I'm not just worried, I'm scared. I've never been to McDonalds. Don't lump the rest of us in with the MAGAnuts.
Yeah. I'm terrified, too. Plus, i have to try and reassure my (young adult) son.
Load More Replies...I'm in the UK and I'm anxious about The US and the effect the chaos created by Trump and his MAGA government have on the American people and the rest of the world. We are NOT in a good way globally...
I am an American and my empathy is debilitating. I finally had to go to therapy so people don't walk on me anymore. I am now cautious as to whom gets my empathy. Sympathy always for others but my empathy having been detrimental to my own well being, I am selective.
No one cares about Yemen. Not one protest. Not one protest about Islamic countries k*****g gays, stoning women to death, k*****g Christians, k*****g people who choose to leave the religion. People are controlled by SM. Embarrassing
Being Mad At Poor People In General Is So Funny. Like Are You A DC Villain?
Oooohhhh!!! Nice burn, April! That belongs in the original post! Lol
Load More Replies..."Being broke is not a disgrace. It is merely a catastrophe." - Nero Wolfe
Wow. I am among the poors snd i have never been considered low class, nor have my children and grandchildren. We are polite and know how to say please and thank you, we wear a napkin in our lap when eating, and send out thank you cards. Those are only a few examples. Good etiquette was stressed as I was growing up and I in turn raised my kids with good etiquette. This post proves that money can't buy you class. Oh and yes we tip 20% minimum, always.
It wouldn't surprise me if her image doesn't show up in a mirror. Her real complaint about broke people is that their blood may not taste as good.
Load More Replies...A yank feigning class always amuses me. You're ALL commoners, peach. You never HAD a feudal era.
That Is Why We Trade
They also have a huge factory here in Germany
Load More Replies...To be fair, US-made Teslas do contain the highest percentage of US-made parts, which is why they top this list. Most other "American" companies like Ford, GM, Chrysler have lots of Mexican and Canadian (etc) parts rather than mostly US parts.
Not that I would buy anything from that psycho, but you can have an awful lot of imported parts in a car and still have it be the most American-made
I was looking for a new ISP and everybody was pushing me to Starkink. Hell no.
Load More Replies...Facts Can Be Rare At Times
In case you, like me, were wondering: "Daniel Brandon Bilzerian (born December 7, 1980) is an American influencer. He gained notability from about 2013 for his extravagant lifestyle and photos with scantily dressed female models on social media." (via Wikipedia).
I may have watched the Netflix show Big Mouth too many times because all I can think of when I read the name Bilzerian is "Stop quoting your dad's law commercials!!" and a certain episode where the character with that last name does...acts... with his pillow, and that pillow becomes pregnant and has a pillow child (in the context of the show, it makes sense, sort of).
Why Are They All Shaped Like Squeezed Tube Of Toothpaste
Because they are all holding their stomachs in. I believe those are smiles of pain.
I dunno about Rogan, he has HGH gut, that's why the top of his belly is lumpy and protrudes weird.
Load More Replies...When the guy in the blue shirt exhales, he's going to blow that belt buckle.
This shape is common in people that take steroids, but don't work out.
They are not smiling, they're in pain and at least one of them just farted
Threads Has Hidden Gems Sometimes
Just A Catfish Getting Cooked
You have to find your own worth. Get a therapist and go, that's the first step in getting your confidence/self esteem up so that you can do more.
Can I also recommend volunteering. At a low point in my life, I lacked the self esteem to even apply for a job. A kindly uncle helped me join a volunteer conservation group as he thought there would be less people to deal with. Before long I was also helping others. My mother was working on the therapy angle - I did both. Many years later, I think the volunteer side had a greater impact on my mental recovery. Over the years there have been times when some therapy has been beneficial to me, I'm not knocking it at all, but try to find something helpful you can do as well.
Load More Replies...Ryanair
That is quite fun actually. I have tried it a few time on military exercises, plated injured and got to fly Hercules .
Load More Replies...I flew Ryanair once. Once. No lie though, some airline will try this, just you wait.
Look up the Yorkshire Airlines sketch on YouTube by Hale and Pace.
Load More Replies...i know ppl joke about standing seats, but i travel ireland to london every couple of weeks and would happily pay dirt cheap prices if its just an hour standing flight
Now I never travelled with Ryanair and I do not understand this, or the picture.
Worst airline in Europe, possibly the world. No seat assignments, it's a mad-dash of people shoving each other out the way to grab a seat. Overwork their staff and underpay them. CEO is an absolute money-grabbing wank*r. Avoid them at all costs.
Load More Replies...They Could Be On To Something
If anyone is interested, baking soda is also a good deodorant, for arms and also socks
I will admit this...in my youth, it wasn't uncommon for some to use spray room refresher as a last-ditch "perfume" on the way to the club.
I used to spray my scrubs down with it...while I was wearing them.
Load More Replies...This Made Me Laugh
FOR THE LAST TIME FRANKENSTEIN WAS THE... Oh... Nevermind.
Load More Replies...What The Font? This Is From Threads, Where The Person Was Upset That Their Card Sent To Ryan Seacrest’s Radio Station Was Returned To Sender As Undeliverable
It's 3500 and 250, that's why it didn't get there. [twenty seconds to DDG name and postcode]
You can read it, so like you I'm a little confused myself.
Load More Replies...Maybe the problem is that the USPS uses scanners to read addresses. Very few, if any, humans to read them anymore.
It Took Me A Second To Get It
Strawberries are kinda sweet. You know, tasty. Nice. Pleasant. Everything this isn't.
We eat strawberries with sugar and milk in Estonia. We call it strawberry soup and it is a common summertime treat. I used to have it often during the strawberry season as a kid. Well I DID get the diabetes too tho...
Load More Replies...I’m assuming it’s a reference to the unfortunately common complications of diabetes, where poor circulation can sometimes lead to toe or foot amputations...
I wouldn't mind eating it with a little bit of sugar, but not that crazy amount.
Load More Replies...OK, it’s not the sugar that causes diabetes or the neuropathy that leads to amputation. Diabetes is a genetically based illness. The amputation is what happens when a person (diabetic or not) does not take care of themselves hygienically, and/or pays no attention to cuts or sores on their skin, which then eat into the body until that area dies. Usually it’s the feet because they can be difficult to inspect properly unless you’re a contortionist. Bed sores are a similar kind of thing. And I say this as someone who, last week, hit my 49th year as a Type 1 diabetic, you better believe I take care of my feet!
This is a good example of someone (many someones) jumping in to comment without reading all the comments that have gone before. So, we get to read their intelligent observations five or six times. See this a lot in BP, also YouTube.
It's weird, sometimes on BP I only see a comment or two and post a reply to one of them, then more comments load after I post mine. Just did it today- someone asked a question, I didn't see any answers so I posted one, then saw other people had already answered. Shrug.
Load More Replies...Simple But Lethal
It's ridiculous prices especially when you pay the same amount for downloading the game. At least Kindle books are less expensive than the hardcover and paperback.
Yea, the recent push for the default $70 for a AAA game is ridiculous, the previous $60 was already too much
Load More Replies...Yeah I hate it when people want full price for something used. How did they live this long
Bowling For Soup
Victorian Newspaper Boy?
Some companies are unethical but most are just looking for workers. When I was a hiring manager, I was surprised how many applicants didn't understand that companies hire people to do a job, fit into the corporate structure, and follow the rules. Love it or hate it - but that's what it's all about. So many of them came in to the interview with the attitude of "what can this company do to make ME happy?"
Which is a perfectly proper question. Employment is a transaction. The employer is perfectly entitled to say what they want. So is the applicant. Smart employers know that replacing someone is expensive, not only in terms of the direct costs of paying recruiters, but also in lost productivity while the position is vacant and while the new person gets up to speed. If people are only staying 3 years because the place s***s, and it's costing 1 person/month's productivity per replacement, that's 3% productivity down the drain. That's real, countable. money. @tw72, you are a fool working for a company run by fools.
Load More Replies...Well Damn Ref Do Something
Reaction To The Shane Gillis SNL Monologue
I don’t know you but I’ll assume you also enjoy Matt Rife and used to love Dane Cook.
Load More Replies...You Move Like You’ve Borrowed Someone’s Arms
This perfectly describes Trumpaloompa's brain!
Load More Replies...Welp, He Deserved It
Ironic thing with this is English is the official langauge in Singapore. Most jobs, especially cab drivers have to pass an English test to work. But I am biased on of my favorite places to go, would love to be at Quay Key now, good drinks, across the bridge to the corner row of local restaurants.
Nothing Like Getting Your Fashion Compared To That Of A Poison-Type Pokémon Trainer
But What's Tarantino Without Feet?
Why was the mushroom invited to the party? Because he was a fun guy.
And why did he leave? There wasn't much room.
Load More Replies...Im guessing the internet made current boys into feetsubs? This wasnt even a thing 30 years ago
Foot fetishes have been a thing for longer than 30 years.
Load More Replies...Accurate And Straight To The Point
Honestly he looks young and healthy and probably has a good sense of humor if he's asking this!
Hytale Is Very Inclusive
Nike Ad People
I Wonder Who’ll Win?
Do people not know "lbs" stands for pounds (of weight)? As in 29 lbs = 29 pounds
Ludwig Trying To Speedrun Minecraft
Look at this! I can comment again! No more bizarre error messages! (431 Request Header Fields Too Large or something like that...)
Look at this! I can comment again! No more bizarre error messages! (431 Request Header Fields Too Large or something like that...)
