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How a person behaves during a surge of feelings varies per person and, often, per situation. Sometimes, caught in emotions, we might say or do something we will grow to regret later. Or, on the contrary, blame ourselves for not responding at all. While some say that the best comeback to an insult or a fight is no comeback at all, it’s not always possible nor desirable. And sometimes, some nasty yet savage comebacks may come out of one's mouth and burn as hot as ice.
In no way do we promote being rude and strongly encourage not engaging in mean behavior instead. However, some humans are natural-born savages with the best comebacks just piping hot and ready to be served at the first opportunity. Hence, the abundance of savage insults and comebacks on the internet. Yet, while we do not encourage you to seek inspiration from there, some of the best comebacks to a rude person are genuinely stone-cold-blooded and, well, impressive. Let's give them that.
Below, we've compiled a list of the best comebacks that would certainly leave any bully or hater speechless. Also, this is some good banter material if your friends get the joke and won't be offended. As long as this witty banter doesn't turn into bullying! Nevertheless, these savage comebacks are a frolic to read, so scroll below and upvote the wildest, most brutal, best comebacks ever!
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#1
I don’t have the time or the crayons to explain this to you.
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#2
I’m not insulting you, I’m describing you.
#3
I was hoping for a battle of wits but you appear to be unarmed.
Aussie Dragon (he/him/thing) 2 years ago
I’m going to run out of aloe Vera by the end of this.
#4
Somewhere out there, there's a tree working very hard to produce oxygen so that you can breathe.
I think you should go and apologize to it.
#5
I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and poop out a smarter statement than whatever you just said.
#6
It’s kind of hilarious watching you try to fit your entire vocabulary into one sentence.
Jody Whitmarsh 2 years ago
I just chocked on my coffee!! My dog is very concerned for me right now
#8
Everyone’s entitled to act stupid once in a while, but you really abuse the privilege.
#10
You are like a cloud.
When you disappear it’s a beautiful day.
#12
Scientists say the universe is made up of neutrons, protons and electrons.
They forgot to mention morons.
#13
You’re not stupid; you just have bad luck when thinking.
#14
I’ll never forget the first time we met.
But I’ll keep trying.
#15
Light travels faster than sound which is why you seemed bright until you spoke.
#16
Why is it acceptable for you to be an idiot but not for me to point it out?
#17
You’re not simply a drama queen.
You’re the whole royal family.
raincloud the whalien 2 years ago
Excuse me I'm not any royal family I'm the British one and all of their staff combined
#18
Your family tree must be a cactus because everyone on it is a prick.
#19
Have a nice day, somewhere else.
#20
Keep rolling your eyes, you might eventually find a brain.
#21
I love the sound you make when you shut up.
#22
I thought of you today.
It reminded me to take out the trash.
#23
I hope your wife brings a date to your funeral.
#25
I don’t know what makes you so stupid, but it really works.
#27
Don’t you get tired of putting make up on two faces every morning?
#28
Please, keep talking.
I always yawn when I am interested.
Anonymouse 2 years ago
And me putting my head down and snoring loudly means that I agree with you and am very invested in the topic. Duh.
#29
May both sides of your pillow be uncomfortably warm.
#30
I understand everything you said.
I’m choosing to ignore you.
#32
I’ve been called worse by better.
#33
The people who tolerate you on a daily basis are the real heroes.
#34
Please just tell me you don’t plan to home-school your kids.
#35
Too bad you can’t Photoshop your ugly personality.
#36
If genius skips a generation, your children will be brilliant.
Fell Ripley(she, they, potato) 2 years ago
Probably would be too dumb to get the joke in the first place.
#37
You have the right to remain silent because whatever you say will probably be stupid anyway.
#38
Your kid is so annoying, he makes his Happy Meal cry.
#39
You’re a grey sprinkle on a rainbow cupcake.
ace lesbian demigirl(she/they) 2 years ago
I like grey sprinkles! And the rainbow ones are GAY sprinkles!!!
#40
You should really come with a warning label.
#41
Don’t blame me for your stupidity.
Take that up with your mom and dad.
#42
Feed your own ego.
I’m busy.
#43
Save your breath – you’ll need it to blow up your date.
#45
It’s better to let someone think you’re stupid than open your mouth and prove it.
#46
Is part 2 of your argument coming out soon or is that it?
#47
This is a lose-lose situation for me.
I lose my valuable time and any semblance of compassion I had left.
#49
Your only purpose in life is as an organ donor.
Garth Bock 2 years ago
I hope you're not an organ donor... it would be a shame to transplant your stupid into an innocent person.
#50
Stupidity’s not a crime, so you’re free to go.
lauralett50 2 years ago
The first thing in my head is : it should be . I know someone who could use a brain transplant.
#51
You bring everyone so much joy when you leave the room.
#52
People like you are the reason God doesn’t talk to us anymore.
#53
Your skin is glowing, but I think it’s from the radiation emanating from your toxic personality.
#54
I can’t think of anything to celebrate on your birthday except you being closer to death.
T5n 2 years ago
I have used a similar one when I was quite mad at someone. “I have an expensive bottle of champagne set aside for the sole event that is your death. And I hope to open it soon.” This was towards someone that was abusive towards people that I care about. Usually it takes a lot for me to get even slightly angry.
#55
I’ve seen people like you before, but I had to pay admission.
#58
I’d spell it out for you, but that’s assuming you know your ABC’s.
Garth Bock 2 years ago
To make it clearer I brought in the local cheerleading squad to spell it out for you..... Ladies? ...."Gimme a D... Gimme a U... Gimme an M ... Gimme an A.... Gimme an S ... Gimme an S.... Whaddoes it spell ?...
#59
Your doctor called with your colonoscopy results.
Good news – they found your head.
#60
I hear there’s a new app called a sense of humor.
You should try downloading it.
#61
Hey, your village called – they want their idiot back.
the shrimp whisperer 2 years ago
my close friends have said this about trump and i was like "oh hell yeah i made the right friends"
#62
Do you always act like an idiot or do you just show off when I’m around?
#63
You are the architect of your life.
Unfortunately, the blueprints are messy, written in Mandarin, and waterlogged beyond all recognition. Good luck.
#64
I’m sorry I didn’t get that – I don’t speak idiot.
#66
If you’re waiting for me to care, you better pack a lunch.
It’s going to be a while.
Lori Fuqua 2 years ago
Don't hold your breathe waiting on me to care, you'll just end up passing out due to lack of oxygen
#68
If you were an inanimate object, you’d be a participation trophy.
#69
You’re impossible to underestimate.
#70
I must have been imagining things. For a second there, I thought you made a valid point.
#71
It takes me a lot of effort to smile when you’re around.
#72
Do your parents even realize they’re living proof that two wrongs don’t make a right?
Lori Fuqua 2 years ago
And unfortunately those are the parents that keep trying to get it "right" multiple times 😫😫😫
#74
Brains aren’t everything.
In your case they’re nothing.
#75
You are so full of crap, the toilet’s jealous.
#76
Your absence would affect me greatly.
I’d finally get some peace and quiet.
#77
I’d give you a nasty look but you’ve already got one.
#78
If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person on the planet.
Garth Bock 2 years ago
Ignorance is bliss.... The less stupid things come out of your mouth the happier I am.
#79
If your brain was dynamite, there wouldn’t be enough to blow your hat off.
FeartheHero 2 years ago
My favorite is a modified version of this: If your brain was dynamite, there wouldn't be enough to blow your nose.
#81
Earth is full.
Go home.
raincloud the whalien 2 years ago
As a registered whalien I'm legally obligated to be offended by that...but I'm laughing
#82
All mistakes are fixable, yet you aren’t.
#83
I love what you’ve done with your hair.
How do you get it to come out of the nostrils like that?
#85
I’d slap you but I don’t want to make your face look any better.
#87
Were you born on the highway?
That is where most accidents happen.
#88
Take my lowest priority and put yourself beneath it.
#89
I typed "Idiot" into Google yesterday.
Your picture came up.
#90
You know, you’d be much more likable if it wasn’t for that hole in your mouth that noise comes out of.
#91
Hold still.
I’m trying to imagine you with personality.
#92
There are some remarkably dumb people in this world.
Thanks for helping me understand that.
#93
The Department of Homeland Security added your existence to the list of “Natural Disasters.”