192 Best Comebacks That Burn As Hot As Ice
How a person behaves during a surge of feelings varies per person and, often, per situation. Sometimes, caught in emotions, we might say or do something we will grow to regret later. Or, on the contrary, blame ourselves for not responding at all. While some say that the best comeback to an insult or a fight is no comeback at all, it’s not always possible nor desirable. And sometimes, some nasty yet savage comebacks may come out of one's mouth and burn as hot as ice.
In no way do we promote being rude and strongly encourage not engaging in mean behavior instead. However, some humans are natural-born savages with the best comebacks just piping hot and ready to be served at the first opportunity. Hence, the abundance of savage insults and comebacks on the internet. Yet, while we do not encourage you to seek inspiration from there, some of the best comebacks to a rude person are genuinely stone-cold-blooded and, well, impressive. Let's give them that.
Below, we've compiled a list of the best comebacks that would certainly leave any bully or hater speechless. Also, this is some good banter material if your friends get the joke and won't be offended. As long as this witty banter doesn't turn into bullying! Nevertheless, these savage comebacks are a frolic to read, so scroll below and upvote the wildest, most brutal, best comebacks ever!
I don’t have the time or the crayons to explain this to you.
I’m not insulting you, I’m describing you.
I was hoping for a battle of wits but you appear to be unarmed.
Somewhere out there, there's a tree working very hard to produce oxygen so that you can breathe.
I think you should go and apologize to it.
It’s kind of hilarious watching you try to fit your entire vocabulary into one sentence.
I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and poop out a smarter statement than whatever you just said.
I am returning your nose.
I found it in my business.
You are like a cloud.
When you disappear it’s a beautiful day.
Don’t be ashamed of who you are.
That’s your parent’s job.
Everyone’s entitled to act stupid once in a while, but you really abuse the privilege.
Scientists say the universe is made up of neutrons, protons and electrons.
They forgot to mention morons.
You’re not stupid; you just have bad luck when thinking.
I’ll never forget the first time we met.
But I’ll keep trying.
You’re not simply a drama queen.
You’re the whole royal family.
Why is it acceptable for you to be an idiot but not for me to point it out?
Light travels faster than sound which is why you seemed bright until you spoke.
Your family tree must be a cactus because everyone on it is a prick.
Have a nice day, somewhere else.
You fear success, but you really have nothing to worry about.
I love the sound you make when you shut up.
Keep rolling your eyes, you might eventually find a brain.
I hope your wife brings a date to your funeral.
I thought of you today.
It reminded me to take out the trash.
Please, keep talking.
I always yawn when I am interested.
I don’t know what makes you so stupid, but it really works.
Don’t you get tired of putting make up on two faces every morning?
Please just tell me you don’t plan to home-school your kids.
I understand everything you said.
I’m choosing to ignore you.
Too bad you can’t Photoshop your ugly personality.
I’ve been called worse by better.
If genius skips a generation, your children will be brilliant.
The people who tolerate you on a daily basis are the real heroes.
Feed your own ego.
You have the right to remain silent because whatever you say will probably be stupid anyway.
Your kid is so annoying, he makes his Happy Meal cry.
You should really come with a warning label.
Don’t blame me for your stupidity.
Take that up with your mom and dad.
It’s better to let someone think you’re stupid than open your mouth and prove it.
Save your breath – you’ll need it to blow up your date.
Is part 2 of your argument coming out soon or is that it?
This is a lose-lose situation for me.
I lose my valuable time and any semblance of compassion I had left.
I’d spell it out for you, but that’s assuming you know your ABC’s.
People like you are the reason God doesn’t talk to us anymore.
Your skin is glowing, but I think it’s from the radiation emanating from your toxic personality.
I’ve seen people like you before, but I had to pay admission.
Stupidity’s not a crime, so you’re free to go.
I hear there’s a new app called a sense of humor.
You should try downloading it.
You are the architect of your life.
Unfortunately, the blueprints are messy, written in Mandarin, and waterlogged beyond all recognition. Good luck.
Aww, it’s so cute when you try to talk about things you don’t understand.
Hey, your village called – they want their idiot back.
I can’t think of anything to celebrate on your birthday except you being closer to death.
You bring everyone so much joy when you leave the room.
If you’re waiting for me to care, you better pack a lunch.
It’s going to be a while.
Your doctor called with your colonoscopy results.
Good news – they found your head.
Do you always act like an idiot or do you just show off when I’m around?
You’re impossible to underestimate.
If you were an inanimate object, you’d be a participation trophy.
I must have been imagining things. For a second there, I thought you made a valid point.
It takes me a lot of effort to smile when you’re around.
I’m sorry I didn’t get that – I don’t speak idiot.
Do your parents even realize they’re living proof that two wrongs don’t make a right?
Your absence would affect me greatly.
I’d finally get some peace and quiet.
Brains aren’t everything.
In your case they’re nothing.
If your brain was dynamite, there wouldn’t be enough to blow your hat off.
I’d give you a nasty look but you’ve already got one.
Jealousy is a disease.
Get well soon.
You are so full of crap, the toilet’s jealous.
Were you born on the highway?
That is where most accidents happen.
Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
I’d slap you but I don’t want to make your face look any better.
You know, you’d be much more likable if it wasn’t for that hole in your mouth that noise comes out of.
If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person on the planet.
Good story, but in what chapter do you shut up?
There are some remarkably dumb people in this world.
Thanks for helping me understand that.
Earth is full.
Take my lowest priority and put yourself beneath it.
I love what you’ve done with your hair.
How do you get it to come out of the nostrils like that?
I typed "Idiot" into Google yesterday.
Your picture came up.
I’d like to see things from your point of view, but I can’t seem to get my head that far up your butt.
I’m trying to imagine you with personality.
The Department of Homeland Security added your existence to the list of “Natural Disasters.”
Your face makes onions cry.
That sounds like a you problem.
Unless your name is Google, stop acting like you know everything.
If you’re going to be two-faced, at least make one of them pretty.
Grab a straw, because you suck.
Your secrets are always safe with me.
I never even listen when you tell me them.