How a person behaves during a surge of feelings varies per person and, often, per situation. Sometimes, caught in emotions, we might say or do something we will grow to regret later. Or, on the contrary, blame ourselves for not responding at all. While some say that the best comeback to an insult or a fight is no comeback at all, it’s not always possible nor desirable. And sometimes, some nasty yet savage comebacks may come out of one's mouth and burn as hot as ice.
In no way do we promote being rude and strongly encourage not engaging in mean behavior instead. However, some humans are natural-born savages with the best comebacks just piping hot and ready to be served at the first opportunity. Hence, the abundance of savage insults and comebacks on the internet. Yet, while we do not encourage you to seek inspiration from there, some of the best comebacks to a rude person are genuinely stone-cold-blooded and, well, impressive. Let's give them that.
Below, we've compiled a list of the best comebacks that would certainly leave any bully or hater speechless. Also, this is some good banter material if your friends get the joke and won't be offended. As long as this witty banter doesn't turn into bullying! Nevertheless, these savage comebacks are a frolic to read, so scroll below and upvote the wildest, most brutal, best comebacks ever!
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I don’t have the time or the crayons to explain this to you.
I was hoping for a battle of wits but you appear to be unarmed.
Somewhere out there, there's a tree working very hard to produce oxygen so that you can breathe.
I think you should go and apologize to it.
It’s kind of hilarious watching you try to fit your entire vocabulary into one sentence.
I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and poop out a smarter statement than whatever you just said.
You are like a cloud.
When you disappear it’s a beautiful day.
Don’t be ashamed of who you are.
That’s your parent’s job.
Everyone’s entitled to act stupid once in a while, but you really abuse the privilege.
Scientists say the universe is made up of neutrons, protons and electrons.
They forgot to mention morons.
You’re not stupid; you just have bad luck when thinking.
I’ll never forget the first time we met.
But I’ll keep trying.
You’re not simply a drama queen.
You’re the whole royal family.
Excuse me I'm not any royal family I'm the British one and all of their staff combined
Why is it acceptable for you to be an idiot but not for me to point it out?
Light travels faster than sound which is why you seemed bright until you spoke.
Your family tree must be a cactus because everyone on it is a prick.
Have a nice day, somewhere else.
You fear success, but you really have nothing to worry about.
I love the sound you make when you shut up.
Keep rolling your eyes, you might eventually find a brain.
I hope your wife brings a date to your funeral.
I thought of you today.
It reminded me to take out the trash.
Please, keep talking.
I always yawn when I am interested.
And me putting my head down and snoring loudly means that I agree with you and am very invested in the topic. Duh.
I don’t know what makes you so stupid, but it really works.
Don’t you get tired of putting make up on two faces every morning?
May both sides of your pillow be uncomfortably warm.
Please just tell me you don’t plan to home-school your kids.
I understand everything you said.
I’m choosing to ignore you.
Too bad you can’t Photoshop your ugly personality.
I’ve been called worse by better.
If genius skips a generation, your children will be brilliant.
Probably would be too dumb to get the joke in the first place.
The people who tolerate you on a daily basis are the real heroes.
You’re a grey sprinkle on a rainbow cupcake.
I like grey sprinkles! And the rainbow ones are GAY sprinkles!!!
Feed your own ego.
I’m busy.
You have the right to remain silent because whatever you say will probably be stupid anyway.
Your kid is so annoying, he makes his Happy Meal cry.
You should really come with a warning label.
Don’t blame me for your stupidity.
Take that up with your mom and dad.
It’s better to let someone think you’re stupid than open your mouth and prove it.
Save your breath – you’ll need it to blow up your date.
Is part 2 of your argument coming out soon or is that it?
This is a lose-lose situation for me.
I lose my valuable time and any semblance of compassion I had left.
I’d spell it out for you, but that’s assuming you know your ABC’s.
To make it clearer I brought in the local cheerleading squad to spell it out for you..... Ladies? ...."Gimme a D... Gimme a U... Gimme an M ... Gimme an A.... Gimme an S ... Gimme an S.... Whaddoes it spell ?...
People like you are the reason God doesn’t talk to us anymore.
Your skin is glowing, but I think it’s from the radiation emanating from your toxic personality.
I’ve seen people like you before, but I had to pay admission.
Stupidity’s not a crime, so you’re free to go.
The first thing in my head is : it should be . I know someone who could use a brain transplant.
I hear there’s a new app called a sense of humor.
You should try downloading it.
You are the architect of your life.
Unfortunately, the blueprints are messy, written in Mandarin, and waterlogged beyond all recognition. Good luck.
Your only purpose in life is as an organ donor.
I hope you're not an organ donor... it would be a shame to transplant your stupid into an innocent person.
Hey, your village called – they want their idiot back.
my close friends have said this about trump and i was like "oh hell yeah i made the right friends"
I can’t think of anything to celebrate on your birthday except you being closer to death.
I have used a similar one when I was quite mad at someone. “I have an expensive bottle of champagne set aside for the sole event that is your death. And I hope to open it soon.” This was towards someone that was abusive towards people that I care about. Usually it takes a lot for me to get even slightly angry.
You bring everyone so much joy when you leave the room.
If you’re waiting for me to care, you better pack a lunch.
It’s going to be a while.
Don't hold your breathe waiting on me to care, you'll just end up passing out due to lack of oxygen
Your doctor called with your colonoscopy results.
Good news – they found your head.
Do you always act like an idiot or do you just show off when I’m around?
You’re impossible to underestimate.
If you were an inanimate object, you’d be a participation trophy.
I must have been imagining things. For a second there, I thought you made a valid point.
It takes me a lot of effort to smile when you’re around.
I’m sorry I didn’t get that – I don’t speak idiot.
Do your parents even realize they’re living proof that two wrongs don’t make a right?
And unfortunately those are the parents that keep trying to get it "right" multiple times 😫😫😫
Your absence would affect me greatly.
I’d finally get some peace and quiet.
Brains aren’t everything.
In your case they’re nothing.
If your brain was dynamite, there wouldn’t be enough to blow your hat off.
My favorite is a modified version of this: If your brain was dynamite, there wouldn't be enough to blow your nose.
I’d give you a nasty look but you’ve already got one.
All mistakes are fixable, yet you aren’t.
Were you born on the highway?
That is where most accidents happen.
I’d slap you but I don’t want to make your face look any better.
You know, you’d be much more likable if it wasn’t for that hole in your mouth that noise comes out of.
If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person on the planet.
Ignorance is bliss.... The less stupid things come out of your mouth the happier I am.
Good story, but in what chapter do you shut up?
There are some remarkably dumb people in this world.
Thanks for helping me understand that.
Earth is full.
Go home.
As a registered whalien I'm legally obligated to be offended by that...but I'm laughing
Take my lowest priority and put yourself beneath it.
I love what you’ve done with your hair.
How do you get it to come out of the nostrils like that?
I typed "Idiot" into Google yesterday.
Your picture came up.
I’d like to see things from your point of view, but I can’t seem to get my head that far up your butt.
Hold still.
I’m trying to imagine you with personality.
The Department of Homeland Security added your existence to the list of “Natural Disasters.”
Your face makes onions cry.
Unless your name is Google, stop acting like you know everything.
If you’re going to be two-faced, at least make one of them pretty.
Grab a straw, because you suck.
Your secrets are always safe with me.
I never even listen when you tell me them.