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Some of us dream that our families would look like the ones shown in those cute and warm holiday TV ads — you know the ones with everyone laughing around the dinner table, looking picture perfect. But in reality, families are a bit more complicated than that.
Some conflicts are even big enough to make people walk away for good.
This is what happened to one Reddit user, whose whole family disowned him for 15 years over minor mistakes they said brought “shame” to the household.
But now they want to be back in his life as if nothing happened.
From hiring a private investigator to stalking him when he refused to reconcile, his family went to extreme lengths to get him to talk to them. The situation eventually led to a confrontation when he decided to finally face them.
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Boundaries are tested when family members refuse to face reality
Man in dark clothing looking distressed inside a room with bars, reflecting family stalks and disownment issues.
In another update on Reddit, the user talked more about his situation and answered some of the questions asked on the original post.
He addressed speculation that his family was after his money or success, saying that financial motive seems unlikely since his family could afford a private investigator and didn’t look like they were in financial trouble.
He also didn’t hold back in addressing those who doubted his story or questioned his experience.
“To the small few of you saying this is fake, fan fiction and what not. Go for it. Apparently all of you live in perfect worlds with perfect families and you most likely say the same thing to every post you read… I just need to get this out.”
However, many people in the comments praised the Reddit user for standing his ground and setting clear boundaries, even threatening to have his parents arrested if they kept trespassing. Some said that you don’t have to forgive family members to move on.
“You’re welcome to forget them,” one user wrote.
A lot of people also felt that cutting ties with such a toxic family is sometimes the only option.
Man and woman seated on a couch in a tense family conversation, reflecting shame guilt and embarrassment.
Maintaining strong family connections can be challenging
Family conflict isn’t as rare as we would like to think. A 2025 YouGov poll found that 38% of American adults say they are estranged from at least one close family member — including a sibling, parent, child, grandparent or grandchild.
Most adults say they cut off from their parents because of toxic behavior or feeling like they just didn’t get any support. On the other side, parents usually blame their children’s bad choices or attitude — and a lot of the time, they don’t even really know why the family broke apart.
Research says estrangements are often due to poor communication, differences in fundamental values, or repetitive conflicts.
But unlike the usual stages of grief, estranged family members might never be able to fully reach the acceptance stage. This might be because part of them still hopes or wishes the relationship can be fixed — the person is still alive, after all.
Research by Stand Alone, a UK charity that supports people who are estranged from their families, says more than 80% of people who cut off ties with their families feel some positive outcomes as well, such as freedom and independence.
For a lot of people, it is a way to put some distance between themselves and years of abuse or constant family drama. “Some of the clinical literature would say, actually, estrangement is maybe the best way to deal with these types of relationships,” Megan Gilligan, a gerontologist at Iowa State University, told BBC in an interview.
They said if the relationships are causing this much anguish, “maybe this is the healthiest way for parents and adult children to deal with that.”
Support poured in from the community
Text conversation about dealing with family stalking, restraining orders, and responses to disowned relatives after 15 years.
Reddit conversation about family stalking a guy they disowned 15 years ago sharing guilt and embarrassment feelings.
Reddit comment discussing family disowning and stalking a guy, expressing shame, guilt, and embarrassment.
Screenshot of an online discussion about family stalking and disownment, featuring comments on financial and retirement concerns.
Reddit conversation about family stalking a guy they disowned 15 years ago, sharing feelings of shame, guilt, and embarrassment.
Reddit thread showing a discussion about family disowning and harassment from law enforcement officials.
Reddit comments discussing family disownment, stalking, and legal actions in a personal recovery and support context.
Screenshot of a Reddit conversation about family stalking a guy they disowned and feelings of shame, guilt, and embarrassment.
Screenshot of a Reddit conversation about family stalking and the emotional impact of being disowned years ago.
Discussion about family disowning a man after arrest and jail time, sharing experiences of shame, guilt, and embarrassment.
Reddit conversation discussing family disownment, personal struggles, and feelings of shame, guilt, and embarrassment.
Telling his side without holding back
Screenshot of an online forum discussion about family stalking and unresolved shame guilt and embarrassment.
Screenshot of an online comment advising security measures against family stalking and privacy invasion concerns.
Comment expressing guilt and shame while discussing family issues related to being disowned and personal struggles.
Comment expressing sympathy for a man disowned by his family 15 years ago and encouraging pride despite shame guilt embarrassment.
Comment text on social media expressing relief and support for someone disowned by family and free from toxicity.
Comment from user discussing family stalking a disowned guy and the shame guilt and embarrassment involved.
Comment explaining family disownment and the emotional impact of shame, guilt, and embarrassment over traffic tickets.
Comment about family stalking a disowned man, expressing sympathy, advice on restraining orders and legal protection of savings.
Screenshot of an online comment discussing family disownment and carrying shame guilt and embarrassment for it.
Comment expressing support for a man disowned by family and facing shame guilt and embarrassment from past.
Comment discussing family stalking and disownment, highlighting shame, guilt, and embarrassment experienced by the guy.
Comment about family stalking a guy disowned 15 years ago, expressing pain and advice to stay strong and avoid them.
Comment discussing family disowning a guy over a mistake, expressing sympathy and mentioning guilt and embarrassment.
User comment on online forum expressing support for mental health and family disownment issues.
Screenshot of a comment advising to send a cease-and-desist letter and use a door cam against stalking family members.
Man shares experience of being disowned and stalked by family after 15 years, expressing shame guilt and embarrassment.
Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing family guilt and public perception in the context of disowned family members.
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I am a Visual editor at Bored Panda, I'm determined to find the most interesting and the best quality images for each post that I do. On my free time I like to unwind by doing some yoga, watching all kinds of movies/tv shows, playing video and board games or just simply hanging out with my cat
I am a Visual editor at Bored Panda, I'm determined to find the most interesting and the best quality images for each post that I do. On my free time I like to unwind by doing some yoga, watching all kinds of movies/tv shows, playing video and board games or just simply hanging out with my cat
Somebody needs a kidney or a bone marrow transplant. If they're that quick to pull the trigger and dump the guy, then, out of the blue, hire an investigator to find him, there's a health situation and they need him for parts.
OP was disowned over some traffic fines? Pffft. OP's parents need to come and work with me for a few days. Our average amount of fines we see coming through is normally $40-50k outstanding. Also, if it needs to be said, OP is NTA and his parents are entitled twats.
Somebody needs a kidney or a bone marrow transplant. If they're that quick to pull the trigger and dump the guy, then, out of the blue, hire an investigator to find him, there's a health situation and they need him for parts.
OP was disowned over some traffic fines? Pffft. OP's parents need to come and work with me for a few days. Our average amount of fines we see coming through is normally $40-50k outstanding. Also, if it needs to be said, OP is NTA and his parents are entitled twats.
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