50 Bad Pet Haircuts That Should’ve Never Been Done

What Are the Essential Benefits of Pet Grooming?

Haircuts can be extremely emotional experiences for us. According to a survey, one in five American women have burst into tears immediately after leaving a salon. (I may or may not be part of that group…) The Daily Mail also reported that “One in five [women] have been so disappointed they have withheld a tip, one in ten have refused to pay the bill, and one percent have even threatened to sue a salon after a bad haircut.”

Given how concerned we are about our own hair, it’s no surprise that we are particular about our pets’ fur. While it may be tempting to skip a trip to the groomer for fear of a bad animal haircut, Alpha Paw breaks down some of the facts of pet grooming, including its importance for your animal’s health and hygiene.  

Alpha Paws explains that giving your dog a spa day at the groomer “aerates your dog’s coat, which ensures healthy growth and evenly distributes your dog’s natural oils”. They also are likely to notice things you could accidentally miss. “Your groomer will look over, feel, and check every area of your dog, so they will likely discover any problems. They may discover lumps, skin issues, seeds, infections, or injuries that the owner has missed. Groomers are professionals intent on giving their canine charges the best possible appearance, hygiene, and health.”

It’s also important to make sure your dog’s coat doesn’t become matted. It’s not only a really bad pet haircut but matting also traps moisture and can lead to a host of issues, including skin inflammation and infections. So professionals recommend getting your dog to the groomer every 6-8 weeks, depending on the breed and what their fur is like. 

“If your dog has a short coat, most groomers recommend bathing no more than twice a month, with once a month being optimal. Bathing more often will strip your dog’s skin and coat of essential oils. Dogs with medium to long coats should have a full groom every four to six weeks. A dog with a long coat will benefit from monthly “tidying” to shave off any matting.”

Similarly to human haircuts, there is a wide range in the cost and quality of pet grooming. A $7 haircut from Walmart is not going to yield the same results as a $300 styling at a high-end salon. So naturally, the business of luxury pet grooming was born. High-end pet products have hit the market, and pet spas are becoming increasingly popular. And that’s for the better: fewer animals with bad haircuts!

One such business marketing to the most glamorous pets is Les Pooch. Based in New York, Les Pooch’s website says they are “dedicated to developing the finest professional dog grooming tools, luxurious fragrances & gentle bathing products”.

The concept of Les Pooch is pretty sweet; they just want the best for our animals and none of that bad pet haircuts business. “Les Pooch was founded on the concept of providing the best care for your best friend. We recognize that your pooch is more than a pet. He or she is a beloved member of your family. That love is not one-sided. Your pooch loves you, too. You can see it in his or her eyes, the crook of the head, the wag of the tail. As the human caregivers for these lovable companions, we want to shower them with affection and show how much we care.”

Their website features lines of fragrances, shampoos, and brushes for the world’s most fabulous dogs. Well, the most fabulous and the most affluent. One of the scents available for purchase, Michel VIP Parfums, sells for $4,000 per 4-ounce bottle. Here is the product's eloquent description:

“A diffusive unisex fragrance with top notes of Mandarin Blossom and Pink Grapefruit, Michel VIP Parfums are the ultimate expression of art. The light, fresh, elegant scent dries down to the perfect accords of Sandalwood, Vetiver and Orris which, when combined with the rare Essence of the Osmanthus flower, creates a soft, warm, and unique harmony. Only once every two years can enough petals of the rare Osmanthus flower be picked and distilled to create this truly distinctive ‘living’ fragrance that soothes the olfactory senses.”

Even celebrities need to take their dogs to groomers too, so it was only a matter of time before their trusted groomers gained a bit of fame as well. After all, celebrity pets should never walk the streets with funny pet haircuts! One of the most popular pet groomers in Hollywood is Jess Rona. Insider published a piece featuring her in 2018, referring to her as “the celebrity dog groomer who makes up to $6,000 a week”. Jess, whose client list includes Katy Perry, Nina Dobrev, and Zooey Deschanel, went viral on Instagram a few years back for featuring dramatic slow-motion videos of her freshly groomed clients. 

We reached out to Jess to hear her opinion on why dog grooming is so difficult and why there are so many bad pet haircuts around, and she told us, "It’s actually not difficult when you’re a professional! I think it’s just because most dogs don’t love getting groomed. But if you are a professional like me - you learn how to communicate with dogs through gentle touch and calm energy, I look for behavioral clues to respond to through gentle touch so I am able to communicate with them. If you’re a pet parent, dogs know they can get away with a lot more. So just make sure delicious treats are involved! As well as professional grooming once every month or so."

We also asked Jess about the importance of proper grooming, and she explained that, "Grooming is important for the health and well-being of your pet. Groomers can catch things like skin growths, overgrown nails, dental issues, skin infections, ticks/fleas and matting before they become larger problems that require a vet. Dander and oils build up on your dog’s skin and coat. Getting your dog groomed or even just bathed professionally monthly is best."

Given how luxurious Jess' treatments are, we asked her if dogs love getting pampered as much as we do. "Yes totally! I know my dogs feel better after they get a bath. They prance around and I know they feel happier and more comfortable in their skin."

Lastly, Jess just wanted to add that we should be cautious with our pups in the heat. She keeps "seeing [dogs] at flea markets and farmers markets: during the hot summer months". "Please don’t walk your dog on hot asphalt. As a groomer, I see hurt pads from heat, and since dogs are much lower to the ground, they can overheat."

Jess’ business is thriving today, with her website listing unique services offered for her furry clients including blueberry facials, argan oil face masks and therapy baths. Dogs can also receive a “splash of color” with a variety of fur dye options including one or multiple colors on a tail, all over color, color designs (leopard, hearts, etc.), nail painting and even earrings, and no animals with bad haircuts to be seen nowhere near! I don’t know about you, but I’m pretty jealous that I can’t make an appointment with Jess now.

Another celebrity groomer and author of the best-selling book “DIY Dog Grooming, From Puppy Cuts to Best in Show: Everything You Need to Know, Step by Step” is Jorge Bendersky. Based in New York, Jorge’s client list includes Ralph Lauren and Gisele Bündchen. His rates start at $300 an hour, but he makes house calls and notes that his “clientele is very exclusive”. According to Jorge, “grooming is not a wash and go; it's a luxury”.

Public curiosity with extravagant dog grooming and intentionally funny pet haircuts has grown in recent years too. At least two reality competition shows have been produced to provide platforms for the best groomers on the globe. Groomer Has It ran on Animal Planet for 2 seasons from 2008-2009, and more recently, Rebel Wilson's Pooch Perfect was broadcast on the Seven Network in Australia. They both featured skilled groomers competing to demonstrate their expertise and provided excellent publicity for the businesses of the winners.

I know that when I have a pet, they will be treated like a member of my family. And while I won’t be able to afford $4,000 cologne for my future pup, I do plan to spoil them with a level of extravagance that does fit into my budget. Just because they’re an animal doesn’t mean they can’t be humiliated by the worst pet haircuts like the animals featured on this list. And if I do accidentally trust the wrong groomer one day, my dog will have every right to burst into tears upon leaving.

Have your pets ever had a traumatic experience at the groomer’s? We’d love to hear about it in the comments section, and don’t forget to upvote all of the bad animal haircuts that you feel the most sympathy for!