Sperenity
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Sperenity
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This lazy panda forgot to write something about itself.
Sperenity • commented on 32 posts 1 year ago
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Sperenity • upvoted 8 items 1 year ago
Hey Pandas, What Was The Hardest Thing You Have Ever Overcome?
My childhood. It was really bad, at one point I lived with two people who had Antisocial Personalty Disorder, which pop terms would be called a Psychopath and a Sociopath. I've had years of therapy, which gave me the tools I needed to ground myself, however the one thing that gave me more peace than anything else was forgiveness. I had so much hurt, rage, and sorrow that I was drowning in it. No matter what I did I couldn't keep my head above water. I used to sneer at the idea of forgiveness. I was the one who was hurt, used, degraded, and defiled in so many ways not just physically. Inside I was nothing but pulp of a person. I was also tired of being so angry all the time. Anger at that level exhausts you in ways you don't even know exist. I sat down with myself and had a very introspective look at where I was and if anything about this made me happy. It didn't. Forgiveness is something that a lot of people spit on. They sneer if the word is even brought up without knowing what it truly means. Forgiving doesn't mean forgetting. You'll never forget. Forgiving doesn't me you're saying what happened to you was okay. It wasn't, nothing I went through was okay. Forgiving doesn't have a single thing to do with anyone but yourself. Forgiveness doesn't have anything to do with religion either. Yes religions push forgiveness but they don't own it and I dislike it when people think or push that there's conditions that have to be met with forgiveness. There's not. When I forgave everyone who had anything to do with the hell I went through I did it for myself. I did it to get them out of my head. I did it because I was holding onto all of that pain in a white knuckled grip like I wouldn't exist if I didn't have that pain to define me. I define myself, I don't let anything or anyone define me but myself, and when I realized I was letting what happened to me define me because I was scared I wouldn't exist without that pain it pissed me off. I was still letting them hurt me even though they weren't in my life anymore. I forgave. It's not a magic wand, you don't just say some words and it's done; it's a battle. It's not a one and done deal, though it gets easier as you get older. You have to remind yourself that this nightmare or that flashback doesn't have power over you, process it, and let it go. I still struggle some days no matter how long it's been. Forgiving doesn't make thing like severe PTSD, triggers, flashbacks, nightmares, or insomnia go away. It just lessens the power they have over you long term. Everyone has the right to feel that rage over what they went through and the pains they suffered. I would never say that someone doesn't have that right and it's totally up to you if you want to do what I did. I would never force this on anyone. I've been there. Just don't let what you went through control you, don't let it define you, and don't hold onto it like some demented teddy bear because you don't know what you'll be without it.Hey Pandas, What Was The Hardest Thing You Have Ever Overcome?
My childhood. It was really bad, at one point I lived with two people who had Antisocial Personalty Disorder, which pop terms would be called a Psychopath and a Sociopath. I've had years of therapy, which gave me the tools I needed to ground myself, however the one thing that gave me more peace than anything else was forgiveness. I had so much hurt, rage, and sorrow that I was drowning in it. No matter what I did I couldn't keep my head above water. I used to sneer at the idea of forgiveness. I was the one who was hurt, used, degraded, and defiled in so many ways not just physically. Inside I was nothing but pulp of a person. I was also tired of being so angry all the time. Anger at that level exhausts you in ways you don't even know exist. I sat down with myself and had a very introspective look at where I was and if anything about this made me happy. It didn't. Forgiveness is something that a lot of people spit on. They sneer if the word is even brought up without knowing what it truly means. Forgiving doesn't mean forgetting. You'll never forget. Forgiving doesn't me you're saying what happened to you was okay. It wasn't, nothing I went through was okay. Forgiving doesn't have a single thing to do with anyone but yourself. Forgiveness doesn't have anything to do with religion either. Yes religions push forgiveness but they don't own it and I dislike it when people think or push that there's conditions that have to be met with forgiveness. There's not. When I forgave everyone who had anything to do with the hell I went through I did it for myself. I did it to get them out of my head. I did it because I was holding onto all of that pain in a white knuckled grip like I wouldn't exist if I didn't have that pain to define me. I define myself, I don't let anything or anyone define me but myself, and when I realized I was letting what happened to me define me because I was scared I wouldn't exist without that pain it pissed me off. I was still letting them hurt me even though they weren't in my life anymore. I forgave. It's not a magic wand, you don't just say some words and it's done; it's a battle. It's not a one and done deal, though it gets easier as you get older. You have to remind yourself that this nightmare or that flashback doesn't have power over you, process it, and let it go. I still struggle some days no matter how long it's been. Forgiving doesn't make thing like severe PTSD, triggers, flashbacks, nightmares, or insomnia go away. It just lessens the power they have over you long term. Everyone has the right to feel that rage over what they went through and the pains they suffered. I would never say that someone doesn't have that right and it's totally up to you if you want to do what I did. I would never force this on anyone. I've been there. Just don't let what you went through control you, don't let it define you, and don't hold onto it like some demented teddy bear because you don't know what you'll be without it.
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Sperenity • commented on 20 posts 1 year ago
Sperenity • upvoted 15 items 1 year ago
Hey Pandas, What Was The Hardest Thing You Have Ever Overcome?
My childhood. It was really bad, at one point I lived with two people who had Antisocial Personalty Disorder, which pop terms would be called a Psychopath and a Sociopath. I've had years of therapy, which gave me the tools I needed to ground myself, however the one thing that gave me more peace than anything else was forgiveness. I had so much hurt, rage, and sorrow that I was drowning in it. No matter what I did I couldn't keep my head above water. I used to sneer at the idea of forgiveness. I was the one who was hurt, used, degraded, and defiled in so many ways not just physically. Inside I was nothing but pulp of a person. I was also tired of being so angry all the time. Anger at that level exhausts you in ways you don't even know exist. I sat down with myself and had a very introspective look at where I was and if anything about this made me happy. It didn't. Forgiveness is something that a lot of people spit on. They sneer if the word is even brought up without knowing what it truly means. Forgiving doesn't mean forgetting. You'll never forget. Forgiving doesn't me you're saying what happened to you was okay. It wasn't, nothing I went through was okay. Forgiving doesn't have a single thing to do with anyone but yourself. Forgiveness doesn't have anything to do with religion either. Yes religions push forgiveness but they don't own it and I dislike it when people think or push that there's conditions that have to be met with forgiveness. There's not. When I forgave everyone who had anything to do with the hell I went through I did it for myself. I did it to get them out of my head. I did it because I was holding onto all of that pain in a white knuckled grip like I wouldn't exist if I didn't have that pain to define me. I define myself, I don't let anything or anyone define me but myself, and when I realized I was letting what happened to me define me because I was scared I wouldn't exist without that pain it pissed me off. I was still letting them hurt me even though they weren't in my life anymore. I forgave. It's not a magic wand, you don't just say some words and it's done; it's a battle. It's not a one and done deal, though it gets easier as you get older. You have to remind yourself that this nightmare or that flashback doesn't have power over you, process it, and let it go. I still struggle some days no matter how long it's been. Forgiving doesn't make thing like severe PTSD, triggers, flashbacks, nightmares, or insomnia go away. It just lessens the power they have over you long term. Everyone has the right to feel that rage over what they went through and the pains they suffered. I would never say that someone doesn't have that right and it's totally up to you if you want to do what I did. I would never force this on anyone. I've been there. Just don't let what you went through control you, don't let it define you, and don't hold onto it like some demented teddy bear because you don't know what you'll be without it.
Master Gardener Defends Melania’s White House Garden Restoration, And They Might Change Your Opinion
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Sperenity • upvoted 5 items 2 years ago
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