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If you’re looking for a Twitter account that’s guaranteed to make you smile, then Shut Up, Mike is the one you need to follow.
The guy behind it is Mike Ginn, a comedy writer who lives in Los Angeles. He works for Comedy Central’s @midnight, and it’s easy to see why when you read his sometimes weird, sometimes quirky, but always hilarious tweets.
Check out some of our favorites below, and don’t forget to vote for the best!
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Pi... 8 years ago
He's highlighting how everything in Hollywood is green-screened today. All the special fx are added digitally. Avatar had a LOT of effects!
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Lore Leaha 8 years ago
Special effects Avatar and any kind of movies /series. If you watch a movie from the 90's you can have 2 reactions : wtf is this? 😮 or : now this I call an excellent movie 👌👌
RELATED:
#2
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Hi_Welcome_to_Chili's 8 years ago
lol tell me more about the talking snake!
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Samantha B 8 years ago
Same here. I had been living out of the country and I cracked a filling. When I came back to the area, I went to my old dentist to fix it. I guess because I hadn't been there in a year, he assumed I went somewhere else. He went on and on about how poorly "the other dentist" did this filling originally.
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Kira Thesloth 8 years ago
This happened to me last month 😂 i cut it myself this month though and it actually looks better. 🤣
Charlotte Ayers 8 years ago
When a stylist does that makes you wonder whether your friends have been mocking your haircuts behind your back.
#5
Cheryl Birkhimer 8 years ago
I thought you had to eat them on an empty stomach, & wait 30 minutes between each bar.
Long Joan Silver 8 years ago
No, Twix! Kit Kat comes as a whole, in which you break it apart.
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Lydia Finerty 8 years ago
When you cook spinach it shrinks down A LOT. 10-12 cups of spinach will cook down to 1 cup.
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#7
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panic!AtTheYeemo 8 years ago
how many people do you think sat their for hours trying to see if he was telling the truth?
That bunny that ate your breakfast 8 years ago
:D this is the smartest thing to do when your grandma keeps talking to you and she keeps calling you "honey bun"
#9
Thegreatcountryofverden 7 years ago
There are three-sided pyramids as well.
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#10
Thegreatcountryofverden 7 years ago
Everyone, please stop hating on on Comic Sans, or you will have an unpleasant experience.
Cheryl Birkhimer 8 years ago
What do they have if not hope? Optimistically seeing the bag of crackers they toss you as half full, rather than half empty..
#11
#12
Cheryl Birkhimer 8 years ago
I guess they think they are escaping reality for the price of a movie ticket, popcorn & giant soda.
Marioara Popescu 8 years ago
At least there is no random giant spider in my bedroom. I wish there was...
#13
Flora Polvado 8 years ago
"Zootopia," the DMV scene. I forgot how to breath, I laughed so hard
#14
Ben Lavalleur 8 years ago
He could pick some great voices depending on his mood. Darth Vader, Morgan Freeman or Gomer Pyle.
Aubrie Allen 8 years ago
Sometime I change the language on my brothers car navigation system to Chinese. Could you do that to his computer?
Long Joan Silver 8 years ago
Hahahaha that would be so annoying but hilarious to witness
Load More Replies... Cheryl Birkhimer 8 years ago
Guess he has just got used to the original one. It's hard for some people to change their habits.
Marioara Popescu 8 years ago
I could have perfect tits. It's not branding, it's being old and afraid of change.
#15
Marioara Popescu 8 years ago
Actually Mac is a fancy place in my city, because it is expensive as f**k.
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Anna Harrington 2 years ago
"Please, be sushi! Please, be sushi!" *your results: 7 eleven, Mc Donald's, have you tried fasting?
#16
Master Markus 8 years ago
Well, "football" is a very generic term, but I've always thought it was an odd name for American Football since it has very little foot-to-ball action.
Wyndmere 8 years ago
Like "throwball" or "catch-n-runball" sounds better. ... "Kickball" was taken.
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Tammy Chapman 8 years ago
I am an American, and I love my country, but. First, Americans stole the land and many other things from the Indians (all the while finding different ways to kill them, including giving them diseases on purpose). Then they stole black people from Africa and people from other places and shipped them like cordwood to use as slaves. (They killed and maimed a lot of them too, and there were probably hundreds of thousands who died on the ships). Then they started to destroy the land, the air and the water. Which is causing many people to get sick. Now they steal money from the taxes of American people for stupid reasons. They are trying to steal our public (and sacred) lands right now, so they can drill for oil and gas. They will also steal anything and everything else they can get their hands on, both here and in other countries. So while I know it's annoying that they stole words and terminology that were already in use in other countries. That is not the worst thing they have done.
Richard Knibb 8 years ago
It's because "Football" is British (soccer for you Americans). One day someone (a college student) decided to pick it up and run with it. There were no rules against it.
Cheryl Birkhimer 8 years ago
What do they mean by "World series", when no other country competes?
Tiny Dynamine 8 years ago
Hoo-bloody-ray. Finally an American admits that they ripped something off and tried to claim it as their own. Halle-friggin-lujah.
Luciana Tykhelle 7 years ago
It is the same if you change football in that phrase with America.
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Bunnies are better!! 8 years ago
The old people when THEY(current old people) were younger said the same thing and some of us will in the future. It's a cycle
SmellyWhistles 8 years ago
Omg, you're so right! We just hear about so many more atrocities because the world has shrunk due to technology.
#18
Tamira Lasky 8 years ago
I love how, evidently, the aroma of coffee sprays beans at you, up out of the cup, in the steam! 😝
Cheryl Birkhimer 8 years ago
Alll the "flavor" & coffee beans floating away, or just a suggestion of aroma. Depiction of green cup definitely shows that the contents should be tipped out prior to consumption.
#19
Charlotte Ayers 8 years ago
Won't be having any McFlurries anytime soon...guess I'll be going to DQ.
#20
#21
Dżoana Kałuża 8 years ago
actually it's good for the newborns' health, because they get colonized by "family" bacterias from parents' skin (and they are much better than the hospital ones)
Cheryl Birkhimer 8 years ago
Let's, face it, he did do all the work. She merely carried the baby around at the Olympics to watch daddy swim.
#22
John L 8 years ago
That should cause a scene. Unfortunately, you won't be around to enjoy your masterpiece. lol
Eliza 8 years ago
Yeah but who will win? Cause surely the family have main power of a funeral.
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Aubrie Allen 8 years ago
I want to be half cremated, and half buried, right down the middle. And i definitely want an open casket funeral.
Tammy Chapman 8 years ago
Being an a*****e, even after death. Now that is a true, award-winning a*****e.
The Cube Cat 8 years ago
Hey, at least this time he made it related to the topic. Be more grateful. Or lower your standards.
Load More Replies... #23
Blind Oracle 8 years ago
Ooh, get a scientist to test your health status while you continue counting down. Make sure the study is paid for by SlimJim. Then they can suppress the results when they turn out badly.
Long Joan Silver 8 years ago
I don't know what "Slim Jims" are, but I guess it's some sort of fast food, to which I had a good laugh at this.
Flora Polvado 8 years ago
That would be "Stop binging on Slim Jims, you idiot!"
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Inge Poulsen 8 years ago
Probably because it's been long since this one was made famous. So people probly thinking "that's old" or maybe not so many click past the first page
#25
Neurotic_Octopus 8 years ago
Why are you even reading these if you aren't enjoying them?
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#26
Luc Mailloux 8 years ago
I don't understand why folks hate "moist" so much. The word "tongue" is much more unsettling to me.
Tiny Dynamine 8 years ago
I never would have expected a graphic design school to be a telegraph pole. Times are hard...
Marioara Popescu 8 years ago
*sans why the f**k this site has no edit function?
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Prathamesh Ghate 8 years ago
Age 40: Why doesn't Porsche make ambulances?
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#29
Hi_Welcome_to_Chili's 8 years ago
Yeah, @boredbunny, I wish I was there too. I would have been laughing my frickin head off...😂
Long Joan Silver 8 years ago
BAHAHAHAHA! Oh man, I wish I was there to witness this! That would be an awesome heckle at a comedy gig, I reckon!
#30
Kira Thesloth 8 years ago
😂 I'm a baby scientist and my life is nothing but peer reviewed journals right now. I feel his pain.
#31
#32
Sweep the Leg 8 years ago
Same for me with Saved by the Bell. Thought I'd have perfect skin, my friends would all be models, and I'd be one of the 5 most popular people in a school of 25 students.
Tammy Chapman 8 years ago
I'm still waiting for my flying car and the automatic food maker. We should have those by now. Where are they hiding them??
#33
Blind Oracle 8 years ago
Whoever asked that is imbeciler than you could ever be Mike. The imbecilest
Bunnies are better!! 8 years ago
WHY ARE YOU READING THESE IF YOU DON'T LIKE THEM???
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Blind Oracle 8 years ago
I'll bet you were sitting on the toilet when you thought of that one. Pooping ideas are the BEST
#35
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#37
Master Markus 8 years ago
Actually, it was also seven of every clean animal. I don't know why seven, because that significantly more than 2 and also uneven but it's the Bible, it doesn't make sense.
Nazmus Murtaza 8 years ago
One heterosexual pair, two homosexual, and one forever alone guy...
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alexandra laurita 8 years ago
They were taken there for sacrifice, not procreation. Even Noah knew God would not flood the whole world.
Flora Polvado 8 years ago
It was "kinds" not species. For example, one pair of canines, one pair of felines, seven bovines, etc. which evolved into species..
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#39
BoredBunny 8 years ago
Well, you're older than almost every dog (I think) in the world as well.
#41
Hyodo widger 8 years ago
I might be one of them, Once I took a pic of a dude with an old couch next to an art school, but I was just passing by =D
#42
white widow 8 years ago
rihanna's ex-boyfriend. I don't know anything else besides the fact that he has beaten her.
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BoredBunny 8 years ago
John L was just wondering who Chris Brown was. I had no idea as well.
Load More Replies... #43
Mattias Jörnfjord 7 years ago
Don't ever search horse breeding. Apparently youtube keeps suggesting horse f*****g videos for several months after that.
Hyodo widger 8 years ago
Lol it is cool to take advantage of that by screwing your friends youtube cache =D
Daniel Sipes 8 years ago
*Accidentally click on makeup tutorial video* Two hrs later: NO YOUTUBE STAHP
#44
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#52
Amanda LeMarier 8 years ago
But the storm trooper costume is on sale, cuz sometimes you can only afford $800, not $1000 for molded plastic you will only wear for 3 hours.
#53
#54
#55
BoredBunny 8 years ago
"Dude, just shut up! I don't need to know about Canadia, or whatever it's called! I'm just saying I think it's cold!
#56
troufaki13 8 years ago
Hamster mom: That's ok, I already have 86 and a dozen more are on the way *pats belly*
#57
#59
#60
#61
#62
#63
#64
Thegreatcountryofverden 7 years ago
Same with you, wrecks of multiple ships and lost souls aboard.
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Ok Ha-Neul 8 years ago
i do feel like that sometimes so i buy stuff i don't need btw if anyone needs napkin rings, towels and coasters i got you
John L 8 years ago
If its that hard remembering what you went there for, perhaps you should write down your grocery list beforehand. ;D
Kira Thesloth 8 years ago
No because that's acknowledging I'm getting old and that's something I refuse to do! I'd rather go without milk for a week than admit defeat!
Load More Replies... #66
Victor Bud 8 years ago
Trying hard to imagine what a stoked owl looks like. Those big brown eyes...
#70
#72
#73
Mattias Jörnfjord 7 years ago
But it's weird... It's like ignoring parts of a god you worship because it's no longer modern.
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#74
BoredBunny 8 years ago
You have to wait 'till December! That's when the season is.
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#75
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#77
troufaki13 8 years ago
Or when they go to this retired police officer to ask him if he remembers a case from 1967 and of course he remembers every little detail! I can't even remember what I ate yesterday!! pffff
Šimon Špaček 8 years ago
For some cases, yes. You would remember every detail after finding of six hooked chopped in tiny bits and mixed in bath in cellar with their head hanged on bath curtain rail or something like that. Especially if you had a hunch about who did it but you were unable to find unbeatable evidence against this sick bastard.
Load More Replies... #78
Šimon Špaček 8 years ago
Public: Stop killing of innocent people. GOV: OK, lets ban guns. Public: NO WE ARE FREE TO PROTECT US!!! GOV: OK, how about this. There is already a number on each gun. How about we would store samples from each sold gun. When somebody will be killed, in seconds police will know which gun it was and who is the owner? Public: WHAT??? No way man, no way. You would track us down and you would take our guns. GOV: How? Public: We don't know you would find a way
#79
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#84
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#86
#88
Šimon Špaček 8 years ago
Make it bomb in shape of cat and we may call it a deal.
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Blind Oracle 8 years ago
Hmmm, can't wait until the next installment of this trilogy comes out
#91
Cayman 8 years ago
Humm... Keep staying up watching YouTube and going on BoredPanda until 5 am then go to sleep and wake up at 5:30 am with your alarm clock annoying the heck out of you because 8 pm you put the clock on the other side of the room so you'd have to get of bed and then you're crazy tired all day and then at night your like "I'm not tired." and you do the whole thing again? That's my strategy.*sigh*
#94
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#98
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#101
Hyodo widger 8 years ago
Try to looose like $1000, you would feel that you really were happy before that happened, =D
#102
Blind Oracle 8 years ago
A stranger with a lot of tattoos. Can't even whimper in front of them.
#103
Šimon Špaček 8 years ago
Just add 'Y not' on end of it as Douglas Adams suggested. Because it is end of every scientific argument he ever had.
#104
#105
#106
Jesse Rutkoski 8 years ago
your disgusting, develop a sense of humor instead
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#107
Hyodo widger 8 years ago
It won't be sexy, it would have more common stuff to all beings than humans. and it would get another name..... a fish with legs can't be named mermaid xD, fish that can walk could be a pain in the a*s for fishermen!! xD
#109
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#112
Pi... 8 years ago
He's showing the world that side-kicks are individuals too! With their own personalities!
Ash Lauren 8 years ago
Or he just wanted to be robin because he thought it was cool....
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#114
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#118
#123
Janice Foster 8 years ago
I can't believe they ever thought asking "Am I sexual?" would be a good idea - it's so cringey!!
#124
Ayra 8 years ago
When you suddenly realise he must be from Germany (or at least his ham)
(that's ham from the "Schwarzwald" = black forest Screenshot...b0b063.jpg 
#125
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#129
Alwin Langevoort 7 years ago
Simba had sex with his half-sister while Timon and pumba sang about them..
#131
Janice Foster 8 years ago
OMG, Domino's in Australia spend ages advertising how they were going to release "a game changer." Then they launched a square pizza.
Pi... 8 years ago
Lol! At least they could have made it rectangular n put olives on it to look like a real domino! :-D
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#133
#134
Hamlets twin 8 years ago
Listen to The Dollop podcast episode called The Dolphin. Things. get. weird. http://thedollop.net/wp/episode-8-dollop/
#135
Asher Smith 8 years ago
If I read a book and talk about it like it's an achievement why can't I do the same for a show? Oh right.. wasn't bored watching the show...
Alwin Langevoort 7 years ago
If you get bored reading you likely have the IQ of a stick. And no imagination, which is worse.
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#139
#141
JimmyJames Doyle 7 years ago
I alway enjoyed the girls locker room scene, when Harry was masturbating furiously under his invisibility cloak. I think that was in the one where Dumbledore died...
#146
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Venomous Sloth 8 years ago
Uhhhh, u mean tortoises? (I have a feeling that I'll realize how dumb I am being tommorrow)
Charli Brown 8 years ago
tortoises and sea turtles are not the same animal.. like, at all.
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#180
Master Markus 8 years ago
I don't get it. Especially since nobody liked / likes Hillary but I hear a lot of people liking the dragon girl from Game of Thrones.
#181
#183
Add New Image
What do you think ?
Jeeves 8 years ago
Well... if you live in another country where you can just laugh at things the leading Western country's FRIGGIN PRESIDENT. If you live in USA it's just offensive.
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Paula Gurton 8 years ago
Why is it when it starts to snow everyone has to tell you? like they're the only person who has got windows
Chris Baker 8 years ago
Give us an option to have them all on one page. I am not going further than page 1.
Carlos Roig Giménez 8 years ago
I hope this isn't the "funniest twitter account ever". Or maybe Ads are getting smarter...who knows...
Jeeves 8 years ago
Well... if you live in another country where you can just laugh at things the leading Western country's FRIGGIN PRESIDENT. If you live in USA it's just offensive.
Load More Replies... Paula Gurton 8 years ago
Why is it when it starts to snow everyone has to tell you? like they're the only person who has got windows
Chris Baker 8 years ago
Give us an option to have them all on one page. I am not going further than page 1.
Carlos Roig Giménez 8 years ago
I hope this isn't the "funniest twitter account ever". Or maybe Ads are getting smarter...who knows...
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