“Decided To Tell The Kiddos That We Had Passed Away”: Unhinged MIL Ruins Relationship With Family

Honesty is the best policy. But sometimes parents bend the truth to make life more exciting for their children. They might convince them that Santa Claus is real, let them believe that they saw a mermaid at the beach, or promise that there’s no broccoli in the suspiciously green soup at dinner.

Parents don’t want to traumatize their children by lying to them, though. So when one mom found out that her mother-in-law convinced her children that she and her husband had passed away while they were out of town. Below, you’ll find the full story that the frustrated mother shared on Reddit, as well as some of the replies invested readers left her.

This woman’s mother-in-law watched her children while she had to travel to a funeral with her husband

Military veteran consoling child while gently telling kids about parents passed away in a quiet home setting.

Image credits: Prostock-studio / envatoelements (not the actual photo)

But while the couple was gone, the grandmother decided to tell the kids an extremely disturbing lie

Text screenshot showing MIL convinces kids parents passed away, expressing anger and disbelief at MIL’s actions.

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Text discussing a MIL telling kids about pregnancy while hinting at fertility issues and family dynamics after parents passed away.

Text describing a military family coping and supporting each other after parents passed away unexpectedly.

MiL telling kids about parents passing away, offering support during a difficult and unexpected family situation.

Mother-in-law discussing care plans with kids and parents during a difficult family situation.

Mother explaining to children about traumatic birth and how mil tells kids parents passed away with emotional support.

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Text describing a mother-in-law telling kids their parents passed away while providing updates and support.

A man visibly upset being comforted by a woman, illustrating the moment a mil tells kids parents passed away.

Image credits: djoronimo / envatoelements (not the actual photo)

Text excerpt describing MIL telling kids their parents passed away while caring for them alone for five days.

Text excerpt discussing communication from MIL about kids doing great despite a somber mood after parents passed away.

Text excerpt showing a military member describing a furious call before telling kids their parents passed away.

Parent describing emotional moment after mil tells kids parents passed away with kids crying and reacting in car on highway.

MIL telling kids parents passed away, explaining they will stay with her since husband and wife are gone.

MIL tells kids parents passed away causing confusion, then clarifies the situation and updates them via Skype call.

Text on a white background about telling husband to cut his mother out or face divorce, related to mil tells kids parents passed away.

Text excerpt showing emotional struggles as a mil tells kids their parents passed away, expressing heartbreak and anger.

Text about MIL tells kids parents passed away discussing moving plans and not informing MIL about new location.

Mother comforting crying daughter during emotional moment as mil tells kids parents passed away in a heartfelt scene.

Image credits: nd3000 / envatoelements (not the actual photo)

Parent struggling with how to tell kids their grandma passed away without causing confusion about others who passed away.

Angry and heartbroken parent expresses pain while mil tells kids parents passed away, wishing to comfort and cuddle them forever.

Image credits: JustNoThrow1990

Readers were appalled by the grandmother’s behavior, and the author joined in on the conversation in the comments

Online discussion about MIL telling kids their parents passed away leading to family counseling and legal actions advice

User comments expressing shock and anger about a mother telling children their parents passed away.

Comment discussing a MIL who falsely told kids their parents passed away, causing emotional trauma and distrust.

Discussion about MIL telling kids their parents passed away, focusing on misunderstandings and verifying reliable information.

Some people even suggested taking legal action against the mother-in-law

Comment advising on how a MIL tells kids parents passed away and suggests cutting contact for safety and therapy.

Text post on a forum stating Contact a lawyer and suggesting to see what options are available about mil telling kids parents passed away.

Comment discussing how a MIL tells kids their parents passed away and advice on legal action and psychological impact.

Text screenshot showing advice on how a mil tells kids parents passed away and coping with emotional harm caused.

Comment advising to tell kids the truth about parents passing away using child-friendly terms to protect them.

Screenshot of a forum comment discussing how a mil tells kids their parents passed away and related emotional impacts.

Comment discussing how mil tells kids parents passed away gently to avoid fear and misunderstanding about lies and abandonment.

Alt text: Parent shares experience of mil telling kids parents passed away and handling difficult family truths sensitively

Reddit comment discussing legal steps and how a mil tells kids parents passed away with custody and trust concerns.

Reddit user commenting on how a grandmother lied to kids about parents passing away, causing hurt and timeout.

Text from user comment discussing MIL telling kids parents passed away, advising legal and counseling help for coping with trauma.

User comment on parenting advice forum about how to tell kids their parents passed away gently and with care.

Comment explaining a way a mil tells kids their parents passed away using a time-out lie analogy.

Comment explaining psychological effects when mil tells kids parents passed away, stressing therapy importance for grieving children.

Therapist explains how military tells kids their parents passed away, emphasizing early support and trauma therapy benefits.

Reddit comment sharing experience and advice about trauma when mil tells kids parents passed away, urging therapy support.

Comment advising legal protection and counseling for kids when a mil tells kids parents passed away to support their case.

Screenshot of a text forum post discussing confusion about MIL telling kids their parents passed away and related family dynamics.

Woman in a white sweater looking concerned while using a laptop, reflecting on mil telling kids parents passed away news.

Image credits: natalyaraeva / envatoelements (not the actual photo)

Later, the mom shared an update on what had transpired since her first post

Update text discussing MIL telling kids parents passed away and plans for SIL to check MIL's mental health status.

Letter excerpt addressing MIL about tormenting kids after parents passed away, expressing anger and emotional distress.

Text describing how military service impacts kids after parents passed away, showing children's fear and grief.

Angry message from a parent to MIL about protecting kids after parents passed away, refusing contact and support.

Text showing a message where a MIL tells kids parents passed away, causing a nine-year-old to hate their parent.

Woman expressing shock and frustration while reacting to mil telling kids their parents passed away at home.

Image credits: ilonadesperada / envatoelements (not the actual photo)

Military tells kids their parents passed away, ensuring they are medically okay before discussing sensitive family matters.

Text excerpt showing a message about trust issues and struggles after parents passed away, mil tells kids.

Parent expressing disbelief and protecting children after learning parents passed away, highlighting mil tells kids situation.

Alt text: Excerpt describing how MIL tells kids their parents passed away from a plane crash and stayed with them that night.

Text excerpt showing emotional reaction after MIL tells kids their parents passed away, expressing refusal to see her again.

Military member telling kids about parents passed away in a calm room with thoughtful child and adult having conversation

Image credits: gpointstudio / envatoelements (not the actual photo)

Parents tell kids their parents passed away, with the son explaining and using a secret language at home.

Text excerpt showing a parent or military member explaining to kids about parents who passed away with care and understanding.

Text showing a MIL telling kids their parents passed away, mentioning possible legal action and therapy costs.

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Image credits: JustNoThrow1990

Readers warned the author that her mother-in-law might actually be ill

Online conversation where a MIL tells kids their parents passed away, sparking emotional family reactions and disagreements.

Screenshot of an online forum discussing mil tells kids parents passed away and advice on handling family conflicts.

Kids always deserve honesty from adults

Image credits: dvatri /envatoelements (not the actual photo)

Telling the truth isn’t always easy. Whether you want to spare someone’s feelings or avoid a difficult conversation, people are often tempted to bend the truth. In fact, the average person tells at least one lie per day. But it’s always better to be honest, especially when you’re talking to your children.

The Kid Counselor notes that it’s important to tell your kids the truth because they’re going to model the behavior that they see mom and dad exhibit. It’s one thing to tell them that being honest is good, but if they notice that you’re constantly telling little white lies, they’re going to pick up on that. The best way to teach a child is by demonstrating.

Meanwhile, having open and honest communication with your children will build a foundation of trust. If they know that you’ll always tell them the truth, they’ll feel more comfortable being completely honest with you, even when it’s tough. And we all know that trust is the cornerstone of any healthy relationship. 

Learning how important the truth is from a young age can also inform how children view the world, The Kid Counselor notes. If they are taught how to have honest conversations, even about difficult subjects, their world view will be expanded. Plus, they’ll likely be more prepared to handle upsetting and challenging situations that arise in the future.

“Kids should never be made to feel that they didn’t deserve the truth,” The Kid Counselor writes. “Even with good intentions, parents who are not honest with their children about circumstances often learn in hindsight that their children resented being lied to or misled. When you tell your kids the truth, you make it very clear that you expect honesty from them as well – and that everyone deserves to know the truth even if it isn’t what they wanted to hear.”

Setting boundaries with a toxic mother-in-law is necessary

Image credits: gpointstudio / envatoelements (not the actual photo)

Another aspect of this particular story is the mother-in-law who went out of her way to lie to her grandchildren. It’s natural for a grandparent to desire a closer relationship with her grandkids, but deceiving them is definitely not the right way to go about it.

When it comes to dealing with a toxic mother-in-law, ChoosingTherapy recommends openly communicating with your partner about their mother’s behavior. Let them know exactly what’s bothering you and how her behavior is impacting you.

Meanwhile, be sure to practice self-care when dealing with a toxic mother-in-law. You may be frustrated, but you shouldn’t forget to take care of yourself. At the same time, try not to take her behavior personally. It likely has nothing to do with you, and she would be treating any other son or daughter-in-law the same way. Give yourself grace.

And of course, don’t hesitate to set and enforce boundaries. Your mother-in-law is not entitled to spend time with your children if her behavior has been inappropriate. You get to dictate how often she visits, how often she sees your kids, and how long she’s allowed to stay. Sometimes, even going no contact is necessary, if that’s the only way to maintain your mental health.

The author then came back with a final update on her mother-in-law’s health and behavior

Medical professional preparing a senior woman for a scan, illustrating mil tells kids parents passed away support and care.

Image credits: zamrznutitonovi / envatoelements (not the actual photo)

Text excerpt about MIL telling kids and parents passed away, explaining why she told them they were dead.

Text excerpt discussing medical tests and health status, related to mil telling kids parents passed away situation.

Text excerpt discussing a MIL telling kids and parents passed away and the resulting family conflict and emotions.

Text passage describing a sister-in-law's emotional reaction after a military family member tells kids their parents passed away.

Woman explaining to upset child while elder woman watches, illustrating mil tells kids parents passed away conversation.

Image credits: Zinkevych_D / envatoelements (not the actual photo)

Text showing a family conflict where MIL tells kids their parents have passed away, causing tension with FIL and BIL.

Text discussing a mil telling kids their parents passed away, highlighting the hands-off parenting style of the FIL.

Family argument with mother-in-law revealing parent’s passing and struggle to explain to kids about it.

Text message discussing plans and communication about bringing kids to the airport after mil tells kids parents passed away.

Family tension unfolds as MIL tells kids their parents passed away, causing shock and disbelief among relatives.

Text showing a strong reaction to a military spouse telling kids their parents passed away in a confrontational quote.

Woman looks serious while telling kids their parents passed away, capturing a difficult family conversation moment.

MG, emotional and near tears, realizing two children and six grandchildren are about to be lost after parents passed away.

Text displaying a confession about telling kids their parents passed away and maintaining the charade for eight days.

Two young girls in light clothes on a bed, one comforting the other, illustrating mil tells kids parents passed away.

Image credits: ionadidishvili / envatoelements (not the actual photo)

Text excerpt from a discussion about a MIL telling kids their parents passed away and related family conflicts.

Text excerpt about pursuing legal actions and restraining order in a story where mil tells kids parents passed away.

Text excerpt discussing moving to a new house and planning how mil tells kids parents passed away while avoiding contact.

Text from a family counselling session showing kids coping with parents passed away, discussing feelings and fascination with death.

Mil discusses helping kids cope with anxiety and PTSD after parents passed away, including counseling support plans.

Image credits: JustNoThrow1990

Yet again, readers were shocked and shared messages of support for the mother

User comments on mil tells kids parents passed away, discussing emotional distress and legal consequences in a family situation.

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