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Backtracking on family commitments can create tension and resentment
Every empty nester has a different take on how they want to live their life after retirement. Some prefer to spend time with their grandchildren, some enjoy the peace of an empty house, while others go on vacations they’ve put off for years.
But as more households have both parents working, the expectation that grandparents will help take care of the kids is not unusual.
While it’s okay for grandparents to choose what’s best for them, clear communication from the beginning is the best way to avoid any family conflicts.
In this case, the man’s in-laws backtracked on their promise to babysit right before their daughter was supposed to join back work.
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This not only put additional burden of caregiving on the working couple, it also caused a dent in their financial planning.
After all this, his in-laws’ assumption that they could move into the couple’s new house only added to the ongoing tension.
Middle-aged woman and young man in tense conversation on a couch about in-laws refusing childcare and wanting to move in
Setting boundaries with family can prevent misunderstandings
Taking care of the elderly also comes with its own challenges — be it financial stress, health issues or managing time.
It’s part of the unpaid labor that some couples just don’t want to do, especially when they feel resentment towards their parents.
In this story, the issue wasn’t just the request to move in but the lack of respect — his in-laws didn’t have a proper conversation with him or their daughter, and assumed they would just move in.
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It is also an example of how family relationships can be affected when support is given only when it’s convenient.
The in-laws promised to take care of the kids and then refused to show up at the last minute. But later, they seemed comfortable enough to demand support when they needed a place to live in.
It isn’t disrespectful or entitled if you set boundaries with in-laws and family members — it’s a form of self-care and also part of having a healthy relationship in the long run.
“Be clear about your needs and communicate them in a direct and assertive manner, leaving as little room for confusion or misinterpretation as possible,” says Dr Alexandra H Solomon, a licensed clinical psychologist and author.
When you’re drawing a line, holding on to grudges can sometimes make you cross a line yourself.
In such cases, it’s good to communicate clearly about what’s bothering you if you don’t want to damage a relationship.
“Respect is the foundation for healthy relationships, including those between parents and adult children. It’s important to be respectful of each other’s opinions and beliefs, even if you don’t agree with them,” says Dr Suzanne Degges-White, a licensed counsellor and professor.
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The man clarified some doubts and provided more context
Reddit discussion about in-laws refusing to help with childcare and conflict over them wanting to move in.
Reddit comment discussing in-laws refusing to help with childcare and expectations to move in rejected firmly.
Reddit comments discussing in-laws refusing to help with childcare and then wanting to move in unexpectedly.
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Text discussing frustration with in-laws refusing childcare help and their later desire to move in unexpectedly.
Text discussing in-laws refusing childcare help and the challenges of managing family expectations and support.
Reddit discussion about in-laws refusing childcare help and wanting to move in despite family disagreements.
Many people praised him for standing firm and prioritizing his family’s well-being
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Comment text on a social forum stating the best part is agreement between partners and affirming not the a*****e in a childcare dispute with in‑laws.
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Screenshot of a Reddit comment criticizing in-laws refusing childcare help but expecting to move in and take the main bedroom.
Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing in-laws refused to help with childcare but want to move in, highlighting entitlement.
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Text post from Barbells-and-Bourbon arguing in-laws refused to help with childcare and questioning grandparents’ involvement.
Comment text discussing in-laws refusing to help with childcare yet wanting to move in despite earlier lack of support.
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Comment discussing in-laws refusing childcare help and now wanting to move in, causing family tension and resentment.
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Screenshot of a social media comment discussing in-laws refusing to help with childcare and wanting to move in.
Comment explaining in-laws refused childcare help and now want to move in, causing household conflict and refusal.
Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing in-laws refusing childcare help and wanting to move in uninvited.
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Alt text: Comment discussing in-laws refusing to help with childcare and not allowed to move in, emphasizing setting boundaries.
Reddit comment discussing in-laws refusing childcare help but wanting to move in despite family boundaries and living preferences.
Screenshot of an online comment criticizing in-laws who refused to help with childcare but want to move in without invitation.
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Screenshot of a Reddit comment rejecting in-laws’ assumption about childcare help and refusing them to move in.
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Comment discussing in-laws who refused childcare help and now want to move in, highlighting trust and childcare challenges.
Screenshot of an online comment discussing in-laws refusing to help with childcare but wanting to move in.
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Screenshot of an online comment reacting to in-laws refusing to help with childcare and wanting to move in.
Reddit comment discussing in-laws refusing to help with childcare but expecting to move in unexpectedly.
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Screenshot of a social media comment discussing in-laws refusing childcare yet expecting to move in, causing family conflict.
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Reddit comment discussing in-laws refusing to help with childcare but wanting to move in and claim the master bedroom.
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Text comment about in-laws refusing to help with childcare and wanting to move in, sparking conflict and frustration.
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Screenshot of an online comment discussing in-laws refusing to help with childcare and wanting to move in.
Screenshot of a comment about in-laws refusing to help with childcare and wanting to move in being refused firmly.
But some people said he was being entitled for expecting in-laws to help with childcare
Reddit comment discussing in‑laws refusing childcare help and tensions about them wanting to move in and family dynamics.
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Screenshot of an online discussion about in-laws refusing to help with childcare and wanting to move in.
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Comment discussing in-laws refusing to help with childcare and reacting to their request to move in together.
Reddit comment discussing in-laws refusing childcare help and now wanting to move in, causing family tension and conflict.
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Screenshot of an online comment discussing in-laws refusing to help with childcare and the conflict over moving in.
Comment discussing in-laws refusing to help with childcare and opposing moving into the home.
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Comment criticizing decision to rely on in-laws for free childcare and holding a grudge for six years about childcare help.
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Screenshot of an online forum comment criticizing in-laws who refused to help with childcare and want to move in.
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I am a Visual editor at Bored Panda, I'm determined to find the most interesting and the best quality images for each post that I do. On my free time I like to unwind by doing some yoga, watching all kinds of movies/tv shows, playing video and board games or just simply hanging out with my cat
I am a Visual editor at Bored Panda, I'm determined to find the most interesting and the best quality images for each post that I do. On my free time I like to unwind by doing some yoga, watching all kinds of movies/tv shows, playing video and board games or just simply hanging out with my cat
Once again the YTAs never bothered to read everything. I'm pretty sure if OP/wife couldn't get their ILs help, they never would have had children. They asked first and got positive OKs, only to be shot down at the 11th hour. Shheeeeesh!
Once again the YTAs never bothered to read everything. I'm pretty sure if OP/wife couldn't get their ILs help, they never would have had children. They asked first and got positive OKs, only to be shot down at the 11th hour. Shheeeeesh!
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