50 People Express Their Parenting Experiences Through These Funny Tweets (November Edition)

So cute!

Your kid has it spot on right. He'll go far.

I almost never censored my kids music, but I actually took away a CD someone gave my daughter once. She was 9 and it was Akon's Trouble. I knew of the album but wasn't really familiar with the songs so I decided to look at the tracklist and the lyrics. I realized I didn't want my daughter listening to songs about strippers & guys getting w**dies, calling people bit**es and n***as at that age. I didn't think she should be exposed to that quite yet. I also told the mom of the kid who'd given it to her. The mom had no idea about the lyrics, her daughter had just told her that the singer was really popular at that moment and "it was what everyone was listening to".

I got a calendar every year of my life until my mom died when I was forty. I fully intend to get calendars for my kids until I die.

lol We've been there. The only solace is seeing the other equally tired parents, also sipping on their coffees. You share a quite nod of solidarity when you make eye contact.

Sassy?

It’s called Christmas Milk in my partner’s house 😂

I really wanna know the story behind that one 😂

I would say this is overall a win for the parents. She at least knows when and where to act appropriately, which is a wonderful thing to learn. But I understand your struggle. I don't have children, but I am a teacher. I know some students aren't bad really, but they can be so maddening sometimes.

I'm not a parent but if my own son said that to me, I'd be like: "Yeah, fair enough, take it."

What I say: "It's time for bed." & What my cat hears: "Start running around like crazy, making weird noises and knocking objects down."

Snacks are almost always more fun than dinner.

This has the same energy as my cousin, at about 6, making a 'deal' that for every bite of his grilled cheese, he got to eat an olive. We were all like, "...Sure? Not going to argue with you."

And what to say about avocado toast, right?!

🤣🤣🤣🤣

I once asked my 3 daughters what my superpower was, and in unison they all said "Saying No". Older woman in the same supermarket aisle overheard & nearly fell into the freezer laughing.

Yeah, someone should make some kind of calendar that counts down to when you can start using your advent calendar. Maybe put chocolates in it?

Good for him tbf lol, if i did that i wouldn't be here lol

'We prefer the weird "adoption" but...'

Uuuuuuggghhhh! 🧟‍♀️

Front seat. I used to ride in the back window.

At this time of the day, I also had to answer questions like "Do bacteria have to eat, too?" or "Can burglars come to the pool, too?"

Ours was flashlights. Actually had to hide a few for emergencies. Cleaning out her room at age 7? We found 6 full-sized flashlights, 5 mini flashlights, a HUGE 18-20 inch heavy one we thought we'd lost camping, our 2 emergency lanterns, the crank flashlight we got her, and probably every damned battery we'd bought in the past 4 years!

Fair enough.

When my kids jab with this kind of stuff it cracks. me. up. So good lol.

NOOoooooo.....

That's rough

"Nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom and nom. I had enough!"

No honour among thieves.

Both descended from dinosaurs

Truly nefarious kid that is 🐇

Inquiring minds want to know: Is laughter the best medicine?

Future spreadsheet monkey/bean counter/budget pest.

Tbf seeing my mum use the same strategy over and over to parent has always been entertaining

I live on a diet of frozen pepperoni pizzas, frozen breakfast sandwiches, and something good from the bakery. My weight is the same as in college, a half century ago, my cholesterol is fine, my blood pressure and sugar is fine, and I have great blood work. I call it the Steve diet. Works for me!

yes, yes it is

Dave Van Beurden

Dave Van Beurden

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Add in the dangers of quicksand as well

And that's why in my country you learn with an instructor. When you're an adult.

Child shows promise.

Hoping anybody beats up an old man? Not the best

About 5 minutes ago, I told my coworker that I wanted my couch and my pajamas

Seán Baron

Seán Baron

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Is your daughter the girl from Airplane!?

Cool, now go do that in the back yard and have fun 🤣

I offer my son for parenting experience to anyone willing to take on a 42 year old teenager.

Eating cake for breakfast the week after your birthday is one of the best feelings ever

LakotaWolf (she/her)

LakotaWolf (she/her)

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I remember finding a few of my "given to the Tooth Fairy" baby teeth in some of my parents' old stuff upstairs in the storage closet. I was a little grossed out that my parents had sentimentally kept my old discarded pieces of enamel. I then proceeded to keep all of my two current dogs' shed puppy teeth as I could XD I may not have had human offspring, but I have continued the generational saga of keeping baby teeth >_>;

"Kid" here. Night before. Gotta have plenty of prep time. Lol

That is such a hard age to buy for, I would appreciate them doing the leg work for me.

If summer time is daylight saving time, than winter time is daylight wasting time?

Julie S

Julie S

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Mallets Mallet!

Tbf, bartending can be a very lucrative job.

We have a list for each of the kids about the cute things they said wrong. Shittles instead of skittles was my favorite

Have a battery as the mitochondria: )

My sister and I came up with a solution to this problem early on - "Dad. Dad. Dad. Dad. Dad" until *Mom* got annoyed enough to tell him to answer us. Still gets some use now that Dad has discovered podcasts and has earbuds in 80% of the time.

When I was 3 I watched the walking dead with my grandma

Tired and thought that said flirt with each other for about six seconds but it was a horrifying six seconds

bro, I cant even remember the last time I had cinnamon rolls, not to mention homemade

That was a really rude response.

Oh? Prove it.

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You should definitely remove that and wash the suit before letting the kid wear that, you know...

My grandson loves the chinese buffet and when ever we go he gets a crab rangoon and a bowl of ice cream, when will I learn?

Nope, we had clay tablets and chisels.

Whoah. Mine, too!

When I last went to the hospital there was a mother and two primary school boys leaving the eye clinic, with the elder one sporting a cool new pair of chunky glasses. The younger brother was skipping down the corridor excitedly pointing out all the things his brother could now see. It was so sweet!