30 Of The Funniest Tweets From Parents That Cracked People Up This August

This I can easily imagine. This would have been an especially wonderful little moment of joy during the dark days of the pandemic.

I don't know how you manage without them .Inconceivable to me. I'd have to.tie a purse around my neck to not forget it every place I went

It'd be nice if women were allowed to just say no to sex with their spouses. No excuses like 'I have a headache' would be required. Just a simple no. I long for the day this is the norm.

I am a 54-year-old man, but if I ever drop my glasses, I suddenly turn into Velma from Scooby Doo: crawling around on all fours, randomly patting the floor, and saying "My glasses! I can't see without my glasses!"

Now I want to know what they brought home

At least the teacher is honest.

Janissary35680

Janissary35680

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Rimshot!

What a beautiful moment of relaxation and bliss, through the eyes of a child living in the moment!

What color are you painting it? I suggest chalkboard paint, with a railing attached to the wall for holding the chalk.

I may not know these new-fangled phones, but I mastered the router... don't be surprised when I block the Ticitty tok

Breakfast pizza is supposed to be cold leftovers anyway.

Sounds like heaven!

When my son was a nursery he picked up some bad language, I was changing his nappy and he blurted out "Ooohhh that's a f*****g big poo"

Sharpie, name. Crisis avoided.

I agree with the women here, but add this: Pockets that retain their contents while the wearer is sitting should be a constitutional right.

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What an idiot. One tyre with low pressure is a hazard.

‘That’s why your mummy and daddy moved to Germany, darling’ is the response our daughter would get 😉 (Of course there are speed limits on most roads here; just thinking of the Autobahn.)

well mannered baby

Your teen is right, it's quite annoying to be under scrutiny all the time.

Either that or check out the local opticians? Only joking.

I feel that.

And the excuse is always: "They learned it from school. Never at home!"

Now she's gonna be a hella negotiator

The trick is don't do it while they're talking, do it while you're talking. They won't think you interrupted yourself.

i wonder 'how old is you vacuum cleaner, that it still uses bags'

Or for people who's culinary tastes run from Mac&Cheese to chicken nuggets

Maybe but her sandals were cute.

That‘s sweet! It means they want you to be a part of their lives when they’re older and even share you with their nearest and dearest. As someone who didn’t invite people round and left home at the earliest possible opportunity, I‘d say that’s an optimum outcome!

Taking in all the sites.

Extra energy or a heart attack? 🤣

Why not both?

🤣🤣

"she yell to him" gave it away

It's okay, she just means your internal organs.

😂😂

LOL !

His other brothers can't deny... (unless he's an only child)

Show him the BP article that posted immediately before this one!

I loved recorder at school. Learned them all (sopranino, descant, treble and tenor) before moving on to the flute. Many musicians in the UK today will have started out on the recorder!

Scrapbook!

Glen Ellyn

Glen Ellyn

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Sounds like good advice, actually. 😊

Stop your kids eating junk food by eating it yourself 👍

At least she rolled towards you 🤣

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And then you’ll still have to send them to school because the cdc says that isn’t a good reason to keep them home

I play this one all the time, too!

That used to be teacher, before they became overwhelmed, overworked and too outstretched

Aileen Grist

Aileen Grist

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Very true - or take them seriously - too cute to be wild and unruly

Aw.

Can't imagine why.

It does.

Why don’t you show her where the iron is and tell her it’s v hot but she can sort it out herself?!

Gramma been taking her to the OTB?

Well I mean

Is confetti under the pillow a thing now? And if so...WHY?

Well somebody in that family is gonna have to make some money

A good name to reflect on.

Maybe time to limit screen time and sugar consumption, too? Don't want to judge, just saying that since we limited screen time for feathered dino chick the tantrums went waaaay down and life became easier.

Clearly, your six year old is stuck in a time loop.

You can have ice cream and video games at the same time.

We speak English or Spanish* in this household. I also know a little bit of American Sign Language if you're feeling fancy and you can help yourself to those books in Chinese but we will not be saying skibiddi.

My heart.

I'm also feeling "delulu". Thanks, Charlotte.

"When I wake up from this nap,we'll clean the house together." Those kids will do everything in their power (and several things outside their power) to avoid waking you. Follow me for more parenting tips.

If they are like my son it’s because they took off their clothes and were posing in front of the mirror.