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50 Memes And Jokes You Shouldn’t Read If You Don’t Want To Get Smile Wrinkles
Interview With Expert
How’s February been treating you, our dear Pandas? On the calendar, spring is quickly approaching, and it seems like we can already smell its freshness and feel the warmth and sunshine on our faces. However, in reality, the cold doesn’t want to let us go from its icy grip, the New Year's resolution burnout is getting real, and post-Valentine’s Day blues are tormenting the singles out there.
To keep us going until spring, Bored Panda has collected some of the most relatable and hilarious memes from the ‘Shower Feelings’ Instagram account. Scroll down to find them, and make sure to upvote the ones that made your struggles feel seen.
While you're at it, don't forget to check out a conversation with licensed mental health counselor Patricia Glynn MA, CRC, who kindly agreed to give us a few helpful tips on how to keep going this cold February.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Shelli Aderman 10 months ago
Cats do it, too. But they use claws and drag your hand back to their sweet little head. 🤣
Colleen Glim 10 months ago
Clearly the downvotes goblins are at it again. Have an upvote
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OneHappyPuppy 10 months ago
My dog used to pause for a second (just enough to see if you'll change your mind) and then do something to show you that no, you're not done petting him. I've had to warn visitors not to pet him otherwise they'd have to pet him until they leave. I miss him...
Disgruntled Pelican 10 months ago
Our dog goes the extra mile and sits directly on his booty and paws at you until you cave.
RELATED:
#2
Panda McPandaface 10 months ago
I just hope that they break the news to her gently.
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Rhoda Trotter 10 months ago
Not dumb, I forget every day for 3 dogs and 2 cats. And every person who has an extended family of dogs., cats, forget this 😂
Vicki Perizzolo 10 months ago
I would so have said that too. (hope your dog is ok- one of mine has already had 6 mast cell tumors removed and has 5 more...)
#3
Brian Droste 10 months ago (edited)
When I used to work there was a little old lady that she and I ate together for lunch everybday. Part of her lunch was she would bring peaches in prepackaged. She had troubled getting them opened. One day I reached over and just broke the seal for her to peel the rest back herself. I did that until the pandemic hit when she took time off for that. I was doing it to be nice and to help her out. I wasn't looking for anything in return. I believe it was about a week and a half later she brought me in Oreo cookies everyday. At first it was three and eventually went up to four.
Who am I, where am I 10 months ago
She's only showing you she's grateful and reciprocating, please be sure to thank her
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keyboardtek 10 months ago
I stopped using any HVAC company that has a fleet of vans. They are usually the most expensive HVAC companies. Find an independent individual HVAC person.
Who am I, where am I 10 months ago
Some people can still be Kind, maybe there is hope for humanity
It's not a coincidence that we asked how you're doing this February at the start of this article, dear Pandas. According to YouGov US, a global public opinion and data company, Americans find this month to be the second least favorite of the whole year.
To find out why many specifically dislike these 28 days of the year and how we can cope with this, Bored Panda reached out to licensed mental health counselor Patricia Glynn MA, CRC.
#4
Spidercat 10 months ago
Spill the beans...how many were dads who wanted it so they could move up in the world?
#5
Phantom Phoenix 10 months ago
No one's ever weighed a rainbow, yet we all know they're pretty light
#6
Tom Nagel 10 months ago
This is an almost daily thing for me. I live with chronic pain, so I sleep very little at night. During the afternoon I tend to get tired enough to sleep, but I have kids so I won't ever silence my phone. This means I'm constantly being interrupted. If only I could feel comfortable letting the world go for an hour, but I can't.
G A 10 months ago
I feel your pain, quite literally. I had to up my pain meds and have lumbar injections recently, which do help, but the best for me is one of the cats asleep on the crook of my arm. Their purring always sends me off....
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Otto Katz 10 months ago
I can't nap. Not that I am unable, but as soon as my husband comes into the room and sees me trying to nap, he 'are you taking a nap? ok, I'll be quiet!' Well, s**t now.
Mimi M 10 months ago
Hang something on the door as a sign (scarf, sock, tie) that you are sleeping. Or let him know beforehand. And then hold him to not disturbing you. He needs to be accountable and you need to set up a boundary. Because disturbing someone who is trying to sleep is not a trivial thing.
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Joanne Earle 10 months ago
I can't nap. Can't shut my brain off. If I do fall asleep I wake up feeling horrible. Disoriented, parched, headache.
Kalikima 10 months ago
That's me exactly. I gave up on naps ages ago because of it. Sometimes when I'm overtired or overwhelmed, I'll just make my room all dark and lie down for an hour. I know I'm not going to fall asleep, but the quiet and the dark gives me a little time to recharge.
Load More Replies... "When it comes to mental health, February can be a difficult month because the weather tends to be cold and the days shorter," Glynn says.
"With fewer daylight hours and chilly temps, people are more likely to feel sad and may experience higher levels of fatigue. Being stuck indoors means an increased probability of loneliness. Also, too, many are coming off a high from the holiday season. The mundane reality of life settles back upon them. Stress and boredom can overwhelm people," she explains.
#7
E Menendez 10 months ago
I never thought to put olives on a burrito. I am interested in the other ingredients in this burrito that would potentially make olives work...
Disgruntled Pelican 10 months ago (edited)
I'm weird and will regularly make burritos with chicken, cheese, beans, rice, corn, and olives. Gives it a little pizzazz. EDIT: I use black olives, not green. That would be psychotic.
Load More Replies... Rich Black 10 months ago
Can we make with fish, to double down on dmfusuon food confusion? And quinoa tortillas?
Mike F 10 months ago
In your humble opinion. Personally, I have yet to find anything that doesn't go well with olives, unless perhaps ice cream.
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#8
E Menendez 10 months ago
I would absolutely go to museums after 8pm. And would do it regularly if I could have a nice glass of wine or cocktail. Added points if I could also get some popcorn.
Wendy Miller 10 months ago
All the introverts head to the museum and politely ignore each other.
KittyGaming 10 months ago
Four words, Animal Crossing New Horizons, it's a five year old game and it includes a museum that at the end of the game should include dinosaurs, art, bugs, an aquarium, and a coffee shop, it's always open because it's owner is an owl so he has it open 24/7, it's pretty relaxing I'd say
FlamingZombies 10 months ago
Have we not learned our lesson from the 3 Night at the Museum movies?
Anxious Aardvark 10 months ago
For a few years I worked a job that led to me leaving work for my "weekend" at 8am on Mondays and Tuesdays. I'd get changed, and then catch the subway and head into DC for the museums. Had almost no social life those years, but those glorious days when I'd spend the daylight hours in uncrowded museums and galleries were wonderful.
WrappermumMOU 10 months ago
In Switzerland, many cities has yearly museum nights. For example in Basel, 40 Museums are open till 02.00 am and 200ish events are accessible with one ticket... It is amazing... But always very crowded. it would be great if they do that trimonthly ✨
#9
m6nbtfpx7q 10 months ago
Me too! Then I have too much to do before I can go to bed and I get un-sleepy again!
Jan Moore 10 months ago
Part of your circadian rhythm. I heard/read that your lowest points are at 3 am/3 pm. I got off work at 3 pm and I had to fight to stay awake on the 20-mile drive home, but I also found out I have sleep apnea so the sleep I got at night wasn't the best. I would dose off at stop lights and sometimes just zone out around the same place on the drive home, my eyes were open but nobody was home.
Nota Robot 10 months ago
Tiredness is lighter than air. When I am standing up or sitting I get tired/sleepy, but when I lie down to sleep I am wide awake. QED.
However, she reassures people that there are things they can do to improve their mood and energy. "We want to be mindful about waking up early and, if we can’t get outdoors to get some sunlight, we can expose ourselves to bright, indoor lighting. If we can’t access the sun as much, we can use devices that mimic it," Glynn suggested.
#10
FlamingZombies 10 months ago
I would assume the "My girlfriend isn't hungry" meal would be quite popular as well.
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#11
Elwood Schwartz (it/that) 10 months ago (edited)
Brontosaurus for sure. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brontosaurus
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Rich Black 10 months ago
Why wouldn't they just fly it to its destination? Presumably it has it's own helipad? This seems unnecessarily complex. Is this plastic recyclable?
#12
Elwood Schwartz (it/that) 10 months ago
Big kitty, striped kitty, nom nom nom.
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Bill Swallow 10 months ago
When that last kitten no one adopted has been there a little too long...
Another thing that is very beneficial to our overall well-being is staying active, Glynn adds. "We want to be sure we are staying as active as possible. Exercise has been shown to be more effective than antidepressant medications. We don’t need to do anything complicated. A simple walk can be a great way to elevate mood and calm the nervous system."
#13
Panda McPandaface 10 months ago
And uppercase at the beginning of a sentence.
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Bill Swallow 10 months ago
Note to readers: "De*mu*re" (Dee-Mew-er) is another word for 'Cat'.
Mary Peace 10 months ago
I thought that was 'the removal of the ability to make that sound', like someone must have done to my cat because he rarely speaks except to sort of squeak.
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Jules 10 months ago (edited)
If you're going to be critical about other people's grammar, I'd recommend not using the term 'y'all'...
Sweetie Dahling 10 months ago
Wouldn't "y'all" be correct depending on the context though? English isn't my first language, but personally I quite dislike strict prescriptive grammar. Language (especially English) has always been fluid and ever-changing. Whenever people try to correct it, it seems suspiciously SES motivated. Also: since it's a direct quote, shouldn't you use double quotation marks instead of single ones?
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#14
Ąåřţđęşịɠŋȿ 10 months ago (edited)
THANK YOU! WTF? It costs me more money to take time off of work to go spend MORE money having teeth cleaned or some such. I know, want some cheese wiith that whine?
Glen Ellyn 10 months ago
At least my dentist office is open for a half-day two Saturdays a month. Some places are choosing to be open later at least one evening per week. I know, I know. It's not much, but it's a start.
Geoffrey Scott 10 months ago
One of the most difficult things about working 12 hr shifts. Almost prefer nights then.
Alicia M Goodner 10 months ago
In our small town , every public gov building and dr offices , close for lunch...
Maria Evripidou 10 months ago
I've been lucky. Instead of having weekend off, I have wednesday and sunday off, so i do all my appts on wednesday
#15
Spidercat 10 months ago
Yeah, it's a one way mirror so the secret service can keep them under surveillance.
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Something else that might dampen our moods in February is New Year's resolution burnout. Many of us are guilty of making goals at the start of January and abandoning them or feeling less energetic about them when February rolls in. It can be hard to stay motivated and productive during these winter months, but there are some things that can help us stick to our goals.
#16
Shannon Donnelly 10 months ago
Are you going to the movie theater? Because you can pause the tv/dvd at home, you know. Not trying to be snarky- but my fiancé thinks we’re still living in the 80s where he has to rush to the bathroom or to take the dog out during a boring part of the show, like the pause button hasn’t been invented yet. Lol
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Gracie Mae 10 months ago
The reasoning behind this is sound--you don't feel as guilty taking a break in between episodes as you do when pausing a movie and rushing through to get back to it!
Jude Laskowski 10 months ago
"The English Patient" comes to mind. I hated every boring moment while my friend though it was great. Wish I could have those hours back.
#17
Vivian McBride 10 months ago
Actually, domestic cats are believed to be descended from a small desert felid called, "sand cat". They are communicating with their ancestors.
Lila Allen 10 months ago
Also sand cats are apex predators and seriously the most adorable creatures
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Brian Droste 10 months ago
The cat in background asking the cat in the foreground "what are we doing here?"
#18
Ąåřţđęşịɠŋȿ 10 months ago
I'd say a fire hydrant too... but it's right next to 'em... Even so, I suspect there is a more permanent structure up inside. Newspaper stand?
"When it comes to remaining faithful to your New Year's resolutions, it is important to ensure your goals are specific and reasonable," advises Glynn. "You don’t want to decide to just get in shape. That is far too ambiguous. You instead want to decide that you will go for a walk three times per week for twenty minutes."
#19
#20
keyboardtek 10 months ago
And the wheels are so close to the edge you smash your toes into them every time you make the bed.
Melinda Flick 10 months ago
That’s supposed to be the back so you can fasten a headboard to it.
#21
camomooey 10 months ago
I went into a toy store (in the eighties, in a town in Idaho) looking for something for my toddler son, and the clerk ignored me, pretty much grunted an answer to my one question, the store was dirty, and everything was covered in dust. I figured out years later that yeah, it was a front for some kind of illegal goings-on. I was very naive at the time, and I thought something seemed shady, but here in Idaho? I seriously thought I was projecting movie stuff, but now I know better. Even here, stuff like that happens.
Bill Swallow 10 months ago
Maybe they were just confused that you tried to order a pizza without clams?
"Then, get your calendar and make a clear plan," she further explains. "Decide when and where. And don’t get overly ambitious. We tend to want to do all the things all at once. But this is apt to set us up for failure. Instead, we want to pick just one thing to focus on. We can add something else later, after we have made the first goal a habit."
#22
Panda McPandaface 10 months ago
I object, that's dogist! Lots of time is spent licking myself.
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Nicoletta Cattalani 10 months ago
I have a colleague who literally does nothing all day, but whenever he sighs I'm so tempted to ask him the same.
Lene 10 months ago
I know it's all fun and stuff. But I still would like to remind you that stress does not have to come from outside factors/doing a lot of stuff. It can easily come from internal factors like overthinking, worrying, planning things in your head etc. So if a "lazy" person claims to be stressed, they could still very well be correct.
Bill Swallow 10 months ago
Humans. Dogs are being stressed by Humans. I don't blame them, so am I.
#23
Lila Allen 10 months ago
Look... when you're 5'1" everyone is over 6ft. How are we supposed to gauge a couple inches from all the way down here?
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Brigit Sole-March 10 months ago
Yeah. Why do guys lie about their height. My Italian husband told me he was 5' 8" when I met him - said so on his license. He's 5' 5".
Ąåřţđęşịɠŋȿ 10 months ago
atandards. someone is living by a completely different set of standards.
Mike F 10 months ago
Calm TF down Karen. You're not there, you don't know.
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The key to avoiding burning out is to keep things small and doable, Glynn says. "Try reminding yourself of why you are making the change. Maybe find small ways to boost your motivation. In the case of walking, perhaps you might buy some new sneakers or find an audiobook that you are really looking forward to listening to."
#25
Bettye McKee 10 months ago
When she cashes her paycheck, she asks for it in coins.
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Who am I, where am I 10 months ago
If that's a 5 gallon bucket, you have your vacation money saved for this year
#26
keyboardtek 10 months ago
People in high density population have to learn to be considerate of others. Otherwise the country would just end up like the USA.
Anxious Aardvark 10 months ago
Sometimes yes, sometimes no. I've visited high density populations where they have no sense of personal space, no volume control, and will stop and block staircases, doorways and the like to have a chat with someone.
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Surly Scot 10 months ago
Japan's got its problems, but i'm continuously envious of their societal mentality of respect at every opportunity.
Moana Manana 10 months ago (edited)
That reminds me on the story my boss told me. He came back from a trip to Japan told me, how he was running late to the meeting, and was frightend to be so impolite. So he ran in full suit, gets into the building with two escalators for up, but only one was used and a cue was forming. He got very unsettled, since he has only minutes to get to this first floor, but he didn't knew why no one is using the othe escalator, and feared to be discrespectful. But when he took a look at the watch and decided to take the empty escalator, even running up, just to get right on time to the meeting. Breathless, but on time. After the meeting, everthing went fine, he asked his host, what the second escalator was for, and he told him the whole story. The host smiled and said, you did nothing wrong, this escalator is for those who are running late 🤣😂😂😂🤣
#27
keyboardtek 10 months ago
Maybe if it was a different chair. Those plastic things are the worst.
Lila Allen 10 months ago
EVERYONE could sit here all day and have a good day. ( providing you had snacks and bug repellant and a nice book)
Otto Katz 10 months ago
I could, except I immediately thought of the 2,500,047 mosquitos that would come get me.
Mike F 10 months ago
That was my thought, the little blood-gutted ba$tards would be all over me.
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Lastly, she adds, "By adjusting our mindset, we can avoid the tendency to give up. We want to expect barriers and setbacks. But rather than allowing these inevitable factors to make us throw in the towel, we want to accept them and find the lesson in them. So, if you missed your walk yesterday because you were too tired after work, perhaps you want to try and walk earlier in the day. See failure as a learning opportunity."
#28
René Sauer 10 months ago
"Everything Gucci with you?" - " What? Exactly what information are you trying to get with that stupid question?"
Lukas (he/him, it/its) 10 months ago
Slang changes, and by you asking this, I assume you understand the gist of what they were trying to ask. I'm sure you said things that your parents felt similarly about- "What are they saying?" Language changes, slang changes.
Load More Replies... Cuppa tea? 10 months ago
Gucci - company brought to almost bankruptcy by it's owner, then sold for pennies to investors from who knows where. Not sure what that suppose to insinuate.
#29
Mimi M 10 months ago
Makes me happy - wanna grab one or three! (And take them to the checkout without looking!)
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Dawn Marie 10 months ago
My OCD is on over drive with this pic!!! do they not understand someone with a disability will have a melt down with their attempt to be funny. I WILL have to fix this, and then, in the middle of turning them all back around, my ADD will kick in and I will have to go do something else and leave this 1/2 complete and then come back in 20-30 minutes to do some more. This will take me all day to fix all because some body wanted to be cute. Save it for April 1st when I stay at home in bed!!
Lukas (he/him, it/its) 10 months ago
Wait, let me check if I understand- paper is white, so paper is racist?
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#30
Ozymandias73 10 months ago
Fizgig! Creature from the Dark Crystal a Jim Henson movie if you didn't know.
Brian Droste 10 months ago
I haven't seen that movie in a very long time so I didn't recognize it.
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Surly Scot 10 months ago (edited)
His screaming when Kira almost leaves him behind sounds exactly the same as every screaming child.
#31
Dariusz M. D. 10 months ago
On Twitter, this young woman has a lot to say. Seems like depression but what do I know.
keyboardtek 10 months ago
Maybe the reason why the Eastern philosophy of "non action" appeal to so many people.
Huddo's sister 10 months ago
My mother tried to raise a non-quitter but didn't succeed. I don't know why she kept signing me up for things (actually I do, supposedly I needed to socialise more. Apparently spending time with my neighbours and school friends wasn't enough.). Just a waste of her money.
#32
murmelinpaiva 10 months ago
Just saw a post about a guy who turned up after being missing for 30 years, and he was wearing the same clothes as when they last saw him.
JustABored1 10 months ago
Prison always gives you back the clothes you went in with. 😅
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Satya Bain 10 months ago
I work from home. Three days for jeans, 2 for a shirt. Going out in public for any reason requires something clean.
#33
Benjamin Palmer 10 months ago
I used to work for a company in Albuquerque. The Krispy Kreme franchise there shut down for a few years, but there were still open stores in El Paso, which I frequently had to drive to. I would bring back ( I kid you not) 5 or 6 dozen to hand out to friends and family. Sometimes, during that stupid, boring, 3.5 hour drive, I would eat a dozen myself.
Surly Scot 10 months ago
If my 12oz Mexican Coca Cola in a glass bottle (the REAL Cola, not that corn syrup trash) has 39g of sugar and a 12oz of orange juice also has 36g of sugar, what are we supposed to do with this? Is the message "only consume water?".
ManuelQue 10 months ago
If you want some vitamin C the oj is your best bet.
Load More Replies... lisa_l_ross58 10 months ago
If they are the vegan donuts from Donut Party in Edmonton, I would eat 6 for sure.
#34
Trish Wise 10 months ago
Why does it look like the entire right side of the bridge is spontaneously disintegrating?
#35
Joanne Earle 10 months ago
Yep. My mother desperately wanted me to confide in her but any time I took the chance, she would come at me with both barrels. Judgment, yelling, no words of wisdom, no compassion.
comfort the lame 10 months ago
Can't upvote this enough. Don't forget twisting your words and using them all against you ..usually the next time you're feeling down and vulnerable. .......
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robalamont 10 months ago
Telling your parents about your problems adds more problems to their lives.
Grey Beard 10 months ago
"I'm considering changing roles at work". 6 months later my mother is still giving me career advice, frustrated I'm not following it, even though she has no clue what I do.
#36
KittyGaming 10 months ago
I'm the kind of person that'll get a huge meal at a restaurant, eat one bite, come home, and then the rest is gone in mer seconds, I once ate my grapes from Olive Garden on the way home because I wasn't hungry at the restaurant but I immediately wanted food when we got to the car, bodies are a mystery man
#37
c6f7cmtd2z 10 months ago
I put black electrical tape over the sensor on the remote. Nearly drove my Dad crazy 😂
Ąåřţđęşịɠŋȿ 10 months ago
he'll never figure it out. even put in a new set of batteries.
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Kay C 10 months ago
My sister used to try and use her tongue as a defence... so id let her lick the f out of my hand, letting her think she won, then take my sister gob covered hand and smear it all over her face. Man, only children will never understand 😂
Nikole 10 months ago
What the hell? I have a younger brother and I don’t understand…
Load More Replies... Talis 10 months ago
As remote controls more and more switch to radio instead of infrared, you soon have to explain again.
Chewie Baron 10 months ago
The Apple Remote for the Apple TV uses Bluetooth!
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Lost Panda 10 months ago
Blocking the receiver to keep them from changing the channel.
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#39
Owen 10 months ago
If I had a patio like this, I would finally buy a pressure washer to keep it in all its rightful glory.
keyboardtek 10 months ago
Using a pressure washer is one of the most satisfying activities I know.
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Auntriarch 10 months ago
I can just see my brother doing that and getting into so much trouble when my mother realises three weeks later
#40
Surly Scot 10 months ago (edited)
Adults having time for breakfast. Adults having friends. Adults even visiting and spending time with friends. It was all a lie. I rewatch the Friends show over and over when i'm depressed, because it's a lovely little fantasy of support and love between people that I know doesn't exist and I'll never experience. For a few episodes, I can fool myself into believing its possible before I wipe my tears, put my big girl pants back on and acknowledge the slow, agonizing, soul-crushing loneliness my life is, and will continue to be, until I drop dead or blow my brains out.
wordsupfool 10 months ago
Yo! Sounds like you may have Depression. It sucks, but you will need to find outside support- book club, runners, something! Make some connections, check in with your doctor (if you have 1). Lufe does not have to FEEL this bleak.
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Lew k 10 months ago
Adults having a sit down breakfast with family before work is unrealistic. Its a mad scramble every morning despite getting up 2 hours early to get ready for work. Get ready, get my son ready, feed my kid, get my lunch together, have a cup of coffee and a breakfast bar. Read some news and its out the door for a 10 hour day. Hour or two with the wife and kid then bedtime to repeat the next day. Isn't capitalism grand?
Joanne Earle 10 months ago
Exactly! Like in Friends! Everyone's enjoying a leisurely breakfast at Monica's then they all head out to work? As if!
WhatEvenIsLife 10 months ago
People just walking into each other's apartments without knocking.
Anxious Aardvark 10 months ago
Heh. A friend of mine lived about half an hour away from work. I lived about 5 minutes away. A few days a week she'd stop by for breakfast. Then we'd leave for work. I still had a 30 minute bus ride. It does happen.
#41
Macky McLemore 10 months ago
Yes. Usually all the pickups are close to each other, but everyone is going to different destinations.
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Elio 10 months ago
Why does he have to pay for it? The people getting married are adults; they can buy their own wedding sh!t.
Load More Replies... #42
Anne Reid 10 months ago
When I got my Jeep Liberty, the first thing my guy told me was that all the warning lights will randomly come on for no reason. The only way to get rid of them was to do a whole ritual of sorta Turing they key a few times while tapping the breaks. I didn’t bother because they didn’t stay off very long.
Load More Replies... Vicki Perizzolo 10 months ago
ok - what is that little green one with wings on both sides? all 4 doors opeN? inquiring cars want to know.
M Jank 10 months ago
Turn the car on. Most of those lights will go away. Couple of years ago I limped my car to the dealership because my clutch went out. The service adviser asked what was going on and I explain the clutch issue. He gets in my car and says "What about all these other lights?" I re-explain that the clutch is out and I can't get it out of gear, so the car is off. He hung his head in defeat.
#43
#44
Abel 10 months ago
Some days I feell like a ficus plant, but an evil one.
Load More Replies... Brian Droste 10 months ago
Is there a short story here or a episode of some kind on a TV show here?
Dorothy Reiser 10 months ago
In Japan, a retired guy is often called "bulk trash" because they take up space an is useless.
#45
Shoopyfloop Roundbird 10 months ago (edited)
Gotta be receipt tape. Nobody would quit a job withh toilet paper that thick.
Load More Replies... E Menendez 10 months ago
I hope to get a resignation like this. That would be amazing and I would love to see the reaction from HR when I turn it in so I can open the position.
#46
Mary Peace 10 months ago
If you hate it that much, hand in your notice. Someone else might be glad of the job.
Surly Scot 10 months ago
Any jobs going where you are? I'm trying to find a 100% remote job but all the ads say "must be local to *insert city/state*" which beats the effing point of being remote.
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Sonny 10 months ago
Am i the only one who really wants them to move their finger so i can read the rest?
Rufus Joshua 10 months ago
Don’t know about women, but that would work for guys like me.
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#48
Liz Butt 10 months ago
Please explain for those who are in another country and utterly confused
Holly Herr 10 months ago
Starburst square candies are malleable—chewy. If you knead them until warm they can become any shape you want. Don’t know how long it would take?
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Talis 10 months ago
My watch told me I've slept well last night and complimented me. No one did this for decades!
Cydney Golden 10 months ago
My main reason for wearing a smart watch. That and steps.
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#50
#51
Huddo's sister 10 months ago
You just have to buy your own, unfortunately. I know lots of adults who buy stickers (mostly from Red Bubble)
Tim Douglass 10 months ago
Just got stickers in the mail to put on my car. Of course I had to pay several hundred dollars for them, but still - stickers!
#52
Charbadar C 10 months ago
It's called being organised. You knew when your permit was going to run out. No sympathy!
#53
Rufus Joshua 10 months ago
Bro I would love to get that. I wouldn’t even count it as a company mistake it will be like getting a golden ticket.
#54
Huddo's sister 10 months ago
Means it doesn't matter who parks behind who, but you do have to adjust seat and mirrors each time
#55
Multa Nocte 10 months ago
Ask Moss and Roy. They may even lend it to you if you need it for a talk or something.
Stygtand 10 months ago
Fun fact the diameter of a fiber is 0,125mm. The diameter of the center core where the light is travelling is 0,009mm. The light used is in the infrared spectrum, which means your eye is not capable of registering it. So if you are hit in the eye with the light you wont know until you register a blind spot in your vision and maybe a slight burning sensation.
Panda McPandaface 10 months ago
Oh phew! I was worried that the burning sensation was UTI.
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#56
#57
MeowMix 10 months ago
I had a bunch of pictures of furniture I was selling after I got divorced and my photo app made a montage called "At Home in Phoenix, AZ ❤️"
cj be like 10 months ago (edited)
bc likely all those photos are of your ex
Load More Replies... #58
howdylee 10 months ago
I was driving in a snow storm the other day. An oncoming car didn't have their lights on, not even daytime running lights. I thought it was terribly unsafe, I thought about flashing my brights at them, but ultimately didn't. Turns out it was a county sheriff. Don't know what would have happened if I did flash lights at him - I would have mom-scolded him if he confronted me.
#59
Brian Droste 10 months ago
At one time I thought I would want a wrap around porch. Then I bought house with a front porch that blocks my front windows and front door. A porch blocks a lot of light from coming in. I don't think I want a wrap around porch now.
Lester the Space Duck 10 months ago
That's what a porch is meant to do! Allow you to keep windows open without direct sunlight coming in.
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#60
Huddo's sister 10 months ago
Actually, I'd prefer to be called barbeque squirrel than baby girl.
Panda McPandaface 10 months ago
'Baby Girl' always strikes me as really creepy.
Load More Replies... #61
Panda McPandaface 10 months ago
It seems to be showing above ground lately.
Load More Replies... Huddo's sister 10 months ago
Yeah, I was surprised the first time I saw it. If you don't cut them, they can grow really tall, but then they are too tough to eat.
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#63
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#65
setsuriseikou 10 months ago
How so? Asking for number is not always a compliment, and admitting someone's strength and independence is most certainly not an insult.
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#66
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Huddo's sister 10 months ago
I was far too lazy for that. Plus, for the most part, I would never sustain a crush for more than 2 weeks max.
Surly Scot 10 months ago
My grandparents: "we're sending you to an all-girls school so you won't be distracted by boys!". All the girls in my school were pretty little ballerinas apart from me and only a couple of other chubbies. I'm still a teenage girl riddled with sex hormones, despite what grandparents believe. Cue me becoming bisexual, sleeping with a bunch of my friends, then converting half the girls in the school to bisexuality. Their plan failed miserably, and some of the other girls parents were specifically very unhappy with me "ruining" their little angels.
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#75
Puppy Dancing! 10 months ago (edited)
My dogs are small but no way we can cuddle in such a small space
Rufus Joshua 10 months ago
NGL that’s gonna make me claustrophobic. And I don’t even HAVE claustrophobia!
#76
#77
Shoopyfloop Roundbird 10 months ago
Ive lost so much filter that i honestly say these thibgs outloud to coworkers, or the person ringing my groceries. I know ppl think im a bit off but im just out here vibing
Who am I, where am I 10 months ago
*things *I've *I'm PlEaSe, for the love of God, turn on the autocorrect feature in your phone settings
Load More Replies... Huddo's sister 10 months ago
That's what my group chat with my siblings is for! AKA Those dudes :)
Auntriarch 10 months ago
My friend and our husbands, group called "Touch my Biltong and Die"
Load More Replies... #78
PrettyJoyBird 10 months ago
Look up " Substitute teacher A-a-ron Key & Peele" on you tube.
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Novadoe (She/They) 10 months ago
Is this from the skit with Key and Peele? Makes me laugh every time
#79
#80
turk 10 months ago
I was lucky enough as a freshman that I had swimming class (we rotated every semester between swimming and PE) first period. So, I would get up, shower, fix my hair and get dressed, then immediately have to get into a bathing suit, get wet, and have about 10 minutes in the locker room to shower and dress and try to make myself presentable again. And this was the days of copious hair gel.
Kevin Beard 10 months ago
We had group showers in our school and the coach made sure we all got naked and showered, he got busted years later being a total pervert, I’m glad those days are over
Huddo's sister 10 months ago
Our PE classes were always double periods, so we had recess or lunch after, or it was the end of the day. Actually, it was usually first two periods or last two, so you could either come to school or go home in your PE clothes. Unlike what is shown in US shows, we didn't have access to showers, so there was A LOT of deodorant being sprayed afterwards!
René Sauer 10 months ago
Just imagine having PE monday morning, as the first class of the day after the weekend. I had that for a while.
#84
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#86
Auntriarch 10 months ago
I once saw a cardboard coffin shaped and printed like a bottle of Bombay Sapphire gin
#88
Osprey 10 months ago
Why is the water surrounding the outer people yellow? Did they all pee in the water to torment this poor guy? How rude.
Lester the Space Duck 10 months ago
They all peed in the water and are blaming it on the guy in the middle.
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Tazzer Panda 10 months ago
To me this shows how the bad scream louder, there's still good in the world, but it often goes unrecognised or looked down upon - basically they're making out he's in the wrong and he feels that way because there's more of them. When realistically they're the wrong doers.
#89
Brian Droste 10 months ago
Could someone make one with spiders. I have a friend I would like to send it to.
Auntriarch 10 months ago
It shouldn't be impossible to make a blankie out of crocheted rats...
#90
emlab kerba 10 months ago (edited)
I hate it so so much, and the cap over the sharp as hell rusty bolt always comes off so there' always a non-zero chance of getting a scrape that will be contaminated with both pee pee poo poo and bleach.
Surly Scot 10 months ago (edited)
I fill my bath with a bit of hot water. Slosh in some kind of antibacterial liquid (Mr. Clean lemon is my fave), drop a bunch of paper towels into the bath (Costco bulk pays off). Grab the wad of papertowels to scrub the bath and shower walls using the antibacterial water, then I wring out the now-antibacterial-papertowels, use them to wipe the walls, clean the toilet on ALL angles, sink, outside of the bath, and the tiled floor. The only part that doesn't get antibacterialized in the bathroom weekly is the small areas of bare painted wall. Even the shower curtain (inner and outer) are taken down weekly for cleaning, regular wash the outer curtain and bleach wash the inner plastic one. Everyone else who sees me do this thinks i'm insane. I can't let anyone use my bathroom unless I know it's this clean.
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What do you think ?
Mike F 10 months ago
But there's no option for "Like I slapped it's mother".
Load More Replies... Alex Kreitner 10 months ago
I was in a really good mood all the way until the "How has February been treating you so far?" survey question.
Joanne Earle 10 months ago
Surprised me that 'horrible' is the one that got the most votes. That was my choice as well.
Surly Scot 10 months ago
For Valentines my hours at work got cut in half, scrambling to find another job. No man in sight. Friends won't answer when I tell them i'm lonely and slipping into depression. Today my flat-earther co-worker tried to convince me that all morals/ethics/principles come from Religions only, and man can't come up with them himself so needs religion to tell him. A hop and a skip from going to Home Depot to find a rope strong enough to hang myself with. My February is going AWESOME! At this rate May must include The End of The World.
Victoria DeLong 9 months ago
I'm reading this the night before St Patty's day. Answer the question?
Mike F 10 months ago
But there's no option for "Like I slapped it's mother".
Load More Replies... Alex Kreitner 10 months ago
I was in a really good mood all the way until the "How has February been treating you so far?" survey question.
Joanne Earle 10 months ago
Surprised me that 'horrible' is the one that got the most votes. That was my choice as well.
Surly Scot 10 months ago
For Valentines my hours at work got cut in half, scrambling to find another job. No man in sight. Friends won't answer when I tell them i'm lonely and slipping into depression. Today my flat-earther co-worker tried to convince me that all morals/ethics/principles come from Religions only, and man can't come up with them himself so needs religion to tell him. A hop and a skip from going to Home Depot to find a rope strong enough to hang myself with. My February is going AWESOME! At this rate May must include The End of The World.
Victoria DeLong 9 months ago
I'm reading this the night before St Patty's day. Answer the question?
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