Although we can't stop the aging process, we can at least stave off doctor visits that become more regular as we age. As they say, a laugh a day keeps the doctor away. Or was it an apple? It doesn't matter. What does matter is to keep your aging friend laughing and showing off their pearly whites while they still can. Do so by setting off their cake day with some funny birthday sayings!
Humorous happy birthday wishes and sayings are great to pamper the birthday girl or boy for their big day! Even better if you wake them up with one—that's a sure way to set their mood high for the day. Hence, if you are looking for funny birthday quotes to put in a card or funny birthday wishes to caption a photo dump conveying your life-long friendship, we have plenty to choose from! Not only that, but we have also gathered funny sayings about birthdays that you may also entwine into a birthday wish to make it even more special.
Below, we've compiled a list of funny happy birthday sayings and wishes that will surely put a smile on your loved one's face! As always, upvote the expressions you enjoyed the most and share this article with someone who could use some inspiration. To make it a full package, you can also check out our list of funny gag gift ideas!
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Forget about the past, you can’t change it. Forget about the future, you can’t predict it. Forget about the present, I didn’t get you one.
"The older you get, the better you get, unless you’re a banana." - Betty White
"You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake." - Bob Hope
"Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened." - Jean Paul Richter
"Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest." - Larry Lorenzoni
I hope you celebrate this birthday the way you celebrated the first one, naked and screaming.
You might be prehistoric, but at least you're not extinct!
"A man has reached middle age when he's warned to slow down by his doctor instead of the police." - Henry Youngman
“I was brought up to respect my elders, so now I don’t have to respect anybody." — George Burns
I regret to inform you that your childhood has EXPIRED.
NOPE NOPE NOPE childhood never expires. My favorite bumper sticker is "its never too late to have a happy childhood"
Don't stress about your eyesight failing as you get older. It's nature's way of protecting you from shock as you walk past the mirror.
Congratulations! You are now old enough to need TWO packs of candles for your cake.
Not where I live; here in bass-ackwards Oklahoma, birthday candles only come in packs of 16 (if 4 colors) or 20 (if it has EITHER orange or purple), so thanks, but I'm officially old enough to need THREE packs...
"Happiness is like peeing in your pants, everyone can see it, but only you can feel its warmth. And that’s what you feel today. Happy Birthday." - Jon Foreman
"As you get older, three things happen: The first is your memory goes, and I can’t remember the other two." - Norman Wisdom
"This is the oldest you've ever been."
"The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age." - Lucille Ball
"You are only young once, but you can be immature for a lifetime." - John Grier
"I’m at an age when my back goes out more than I do." - Phyllis Diller
"You know you've aged when you read events you lived in a history book." - Will Ferrell
"When I have a birthday, I take the day off. But when my wife has a birthday, she takes a year or two off." - Joan Rivers
I'm confused, Joan Rivers had a husband so who is this wife she would be referring to? Not funny if it doesn't make sense. When I googled this joke the source is listed as anonymous.
It's okay to light the candles on your birthday cake now; I've already alerted the fire department.
You know you're old when you have a party and the neighbors don't even realize.
Not really, this just means that you live out in the country where your nearest neighbors are at least half a mile away...
"When I was born, I was so surprised that I didn’t talk for a year and a half." - Gracie Allen
"A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman’s birthday, but never remembers her age." - Robert Frost
Congratulations on being born a really long time ago.
I’m going to say this to my friend (her bday is today) EDIT: I did it just waiting for a response now lol
If you want to look young and thin on your birthday... then hang around a bunch of old, fat people.
"Wrinkles will only go where the smiles have been." - Jimmy Buffet
"Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional." - Chili Davis
"Please don't retouch my wrinkles. It took me so many birthdays to earn them." -Anna Magnani
With age comes wisdom. You’re one of the wisest people I know.
On your birthday, don’t count the years, count the cocktails.
You may not be over the hill yet, but you have a great view!
Don't think of it as getting older, think of it as becoming a classic.
I'm like a nice antique wardrobe; the patina and dings only add to my worth and prove that I've been well-loved.
Birthdays are like cheese. They stink more the older they get.
You are one-in-a-million and I’d rather spend the day celebrating your birthday than anything else—except for watching football, baseball, or hockey.
"On my 25th birthday the first SMS I got was from a friend saying "congratulations, you are now closer to be 30 then 20"."
When I turned 20, one of my friends said, "congrats, you're halfway to 40!"
I mean, you have ME so I don’t know what else you have to wish for… but go off I guess… Happy birthday!
The secret to staying young is make-up... make up an age, then stick with it!
Birthdays are like vacations. You don’t have one too often and they come and go too quickly.
Just imagine the things you’d want to hear on your birthday... and assume I said them. Happy birthday!
There are lots of good people in the world. One of them would like to wish you a happy birthday.
A true friend remembers your birthday, but not your age.
My bff is 3 mons younger than me and always likes to kid me about being ild- I just tell him well you are right there behind me.
You only look as old as the last selfie you took.
"You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred." - Woody Allen
You definitely don’t look a day older than the age you tell people you are! Happy Birthday to someone full of sugar and spice and everything nice.
To quote Mr Steven Tyler "You don't look a day over Fabulous!"
You know, they say that age is all in your mind. The key is to prevent it from trickling down into your body.
I always limit my budget on buying birthday gifts according to what that person gave me as a gift on my birthday. Enjoy your gift of nothing!
Looks like someone’s gonna be buying them smthn expensive next year
"Your age isn't you. Use today to feel your best, celebrate and be your very happiest." - M. Rivers
Some things are better with age. Too bad you aren’t one of them.
A quick reminder on your special day… well-behaved women rarely make history. So, this year, let’s go ever crazier!
"Time and tide wait for no man, but time always stands still for a woman of thirty." - Robert Frost
"Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you are aboard, there is nothing you can do about it." - Golda Meir
“Birthdays are a great time to stop and appreciate gravity. Sure, it makes things sag as you get older, but it also keeps your cake from flying all over the room so you don’t have to chase it.” - Greg Tamblyn
Happy Birthday to someone who doesn’t know how to load a dishwasher or fill the gas tank on her car!
