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This Group Is Dedicated To The Cringiest Lies Spotted Online, Here Are 50 Of The Funniest (New Pics)
There's a sarcastic saying: "Well, if it's on the Internet, it must be true." But you don't have to be a veteran of the internet to know that you can't take 90% of what's on there seriously. And most people know that. In one study, only 2% of the respondents said they expect others to be honest online.
"Everyone lies on the internet," people say. Yet some people invent lies that are so ridiculous it's obvious there's not an ounce of truth in what they're posting. The subreddit r/thatHappened collects these types of lies, and here we have the newest selection of their best posts.
More info: Reddit
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#1
“Don’t Bother Coming Back To The Class!”
luci (he/fae) 7 months ago
can confirm, i was one of the chairs and i clapped.
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Wild Cream 7 months ago
Yeah I’m confused about why his birthday is relevant to this, besides being a close date lol
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Sue Denham 7 months ago
If the prof was going to teach less than that it's probably not worth attending their class anyway.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 7 months ago
This is a made-up story by the OP who wants her precious angel homeschooled child to be a genius because he was homeschooled. The class and its professor probably doesn't even exist. This story itself did not actually happen.
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MaximumKarmaSaint 7 months ago
I also would tell them not to come back to class, is it mind reading?
gvizzle_ 74 7 months ago
they have to know how unbelievable this sounds - they have to be trolling
Wolfgang Bonow 7 months ago
You would assume this, trolling, is the case. Sadly, it could as well be a real post in today's world.
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RELATED:
#2
Yes That Totally Happened
Megalodon Meg 7 months ago
Baby, that's the point of this whole thread lol
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Isaac Fritz 6 months ago
Don't you have to be on the chorus in the first place to get a solo? So how would you get to be on the chorus in the first place, let alone to the point of being offered a solo. If you're going to lie, at least put a minute or so of thought into it.
#3
Mother Takes 6 Year Old Daughter On A Date
LinkTheHylian 7 months ago
She forgot to add that her daughter managed to read both Beowulf and The Odyssey before the steaks were cooked.
Cee Cee 7 months ago
And began The Epic of Gilgamesh in the original cuniform script.
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Megalodon Meg 7 months ago
I mean one day I had a headache and my 3 year old said "Mommy I'm positive you have a brain tumor but it's okay, I studied all these books about brain surgery" and proceeded to remove my brain tumor without me even feeling anything in my kitchen.
LadyKing 7 months ago
And everyone started clapping. People in years long comas woke up and started clapping. Wars ended and enemies hugged. It was beautiful
D Battle II 7 months ago
Then the restaurant staff performed a musical number...the end.
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Aww but Eww 7 months ago
And then the American flag was raised in the background and everyone clapped and cried and sang the national anthem … what a day to remember 🫶
Glen Ellyn 7 months ago
Sure. Yeah. Six years old and she said that? If you're that desperate for attention, you're pathetic.
It's not hard to guess why we lie on the Internet. We want other people to like us – to think we're cooler, richer, braver, prettier, or more stylish than we actually are. In an age where a big part of our lives is online, it boosts our self-esteem and helps us feel better about ourselves in the process.
A person's image on social media can be like a well-curated dating profile. We have the power to present ourselves in the best light possible and to omit the things we don't like about ourselves. When we interact with others, we have extra time to come up with witty comebacks we wouldn't otherwise have in real life.
#4
It's The Broken English That Really Makes This 100% True
Lily bloom 7 months ago
This is cute and i just see someone being supportive of something even if they dont completely understand. Why not?
Wild Cream 7 months ago
I especially love “this is the month your people celebrate being fancy” 😂 that’s adorable
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Binky Melnik 7 months ago
This one is totally believable to me, and cute besides. I’ve had housekeepers who left me funny and sweet messages in mangled English, and somehow, they mean more than the messages from some of my friends in perfect English. I had a housekeeper from (Czechoslovakia, if memory serves) who usta leave chocolates on my pillow. The first time she did it, I thought it was a joke but she kept on doing it. I finally asked her about it (did she think it was a requirement?), and it turned out she’d seen it in a movie and thought it WAS a requirement! I was so embarrassed. She was spending money I’d paid her to buy ME chocolates! I eventually convinced her it was something hotels do (and not even all of them), but not outside of hotels. I hated thinking of her grudgingly buying chocolates for all the peoples’ houses she cleaned. 😰
#5
Like 800 Letters A Minute?
LakotaWolf (she/her) 7 months ago
Back in the 90s, during one of my first semesters of community college, I had a philosophy class that was SO boring that I would literally fall asleep in class, so I started ditching it. I DID read the textbook and syllabus, I just didn't attend class. Our entire grade was contingent on one midterm test and one final test. I took those tests (the midterm was multiple-choice: any of y'all remember Scantron forms? XD ) and the final was a written test (in a Blue Book!) But the final only needed to be at least two pages long. I managed to pass the class even though I'd ditched most of it (I got a C, lol.) Even THAT story sounds made-up to me (and I lived it!) so I KNOW that OP is just spouting BS. Unless the 12 "pages" were 12 Post-It notes, you don't physically have enough time to write out 12 pages of coherent, readable words in 45 minutes.
Binky Melnik 7 months ago
AND he wrote those twelve pages while *bouncing around* on a bus! (Or was it just us kids in New England who rode had to deal with frost heaves? (Seriously, they were *so* bad I broke my coccyx once bouncing around, and also got a neck injury at the same time.) (Cripes; did I just sound like the fools in this page?)
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Alex Mosby 7 months ago
I wrote (finalized) a 5 page paper 1 hr before it was due. I was the only person to actually turn in the assignment on time so I got an A for whatever poorly punctuated mess I turned in.
Rachel Reynolds 7 months ago
I got a B in an Art History class by showing up for the first day, midterm and finale, BUT My HS art teacher included Art history in our curriculum and I developed a passion for it. (I might have gotten an A but I knew nothing about paleolithic and neolithic art and very little about anything pre-classical)
#6
Bricks To The Head
Phantom Phoenix 7 months ago
Tell them to ask Google. It will give them a number of places in NYC they can go to. Buying bricks is really not that difficult
Sue Denham 7 months ago
Hopefully you kept those bricks so now you can pass them on to the people wanting them?
Jrog 7 months ago
She is a alt-right MAGA influencer, partner of Elon Musk and mother of one his children, for which he paid her $15M to keep secret.
Binky Melnik 7 months ago
Fripes; you’re right! I hadn’t noticed her name. I coulda sworn I read somewhere that he likes to breed with “smart” women, but here’s evidence that that’s obviously wrong. 🙄 Great; that’s just what this country needs: more morons pairing up and squirting out stupid children. 😰
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turk 7 months ago (edited)
This is a good one, though, because both parts are so obviously false. No one threw bricks at her (even if deserved). And no one, particularly in NYC, is asking her where to get one. Even if someone were racist and stupid enough to want this headwear, it's easily available wherever MAGA Chinese merchandise is sold.
Interestingly, researchers find that people tend to be more honest online than they are in real life. Jeff Hancock, a communication and psychology researcher at Stanford University, explains that we tend to feel more accountable in our personal communications online than in real life.
"Our research shows that when we get people to review their personal communications, they find that their online messages are more honest than their face-to-face interactions or phone calls," Hancock pointed out in 2018.
#7
That’s Not… How Ebt Works…
Binky Melnik 7 months ago
There *are* people who believe that when one gets into financial difficulty that requires they get food stamps that everything nice they own should immediately vanish. A woman took me to task for my winter coat (it was cashmere trimmed with sheared beaver) and harangued me at the cashier in the grocery store as if I’d used food stamps to buy it! When I told her it was thirty years old, she demanded to know why I hadn’t sold it. I gather the woman had never tried to sell old clothes; I’d be lucky to get $35 for it. (And then what the hell do I wear in the winter? I should sell all my clothes and run around naked? But at least I’d be fed! For a whole four days!) I don’t believe this woman had all the stuff in the story, though, and she certainly didn’t have $3000 in food stamps (because it doesn’t roll over forever! If you don’t use it in (three month, I think?) the money goes away). People suuure love to make up these food stamps that everything abuse stories, though!
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tw 72 7 months ago
Oh yeah? I bought my house and 2 cars on my EBT card. Then, I bought an entire apartment house, and then a university, and then I paid off the national debt, and then I bought Greenland. *Wait - was I awake when I typed that?*
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Lady Eowyn 7 months ago
This can't happen. There is no way to not use a card and have the rollover amount add up to $3k. You simply don't get that much. It's not that easy to qualify for and EBT card.
antoinette maldari 7 months ago
And, the OP must be an eagle eye to able to read someone else's receipt.
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Hellcaste's Wife 7 months ago
I'm more curious as to which state they live that gives them over a $3000 in SNAP benefits. Because that's the part that I call BS on. During the pandemic, my husband and I lost our jobs. We had SEVEN PEOPLE in our home. We got $989 a month in SNAP. So, yeah.
Karri Berkowitz 7 months ago
Back years ago after a bad earthquake, ppl were given $3k a month if they were housing refugees.
Load More Replies... Glen Ellyn 7 months ago
Nice fairy tale you have here. 🙄 By the way, YOU are abusing the truth.
🇺🇦 PrincessPatton 🇺🇦 7 months ago
Which store sells groceries, luxury watches and phones? Plus, I doubt that things like gold watches and phones can be paid for with food stamps.
GenuineJen 7 months ago
I think OP was saying they were wearing a gold watch, jewelry, nice clothing, etc., not that the store let them purchase those things with EBT.
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And Then A Single Tear Rolled Down The Pilot’s Eye…
Wild Cream 7 months ago (edited)
Honestly I’ve taken hundreds of flights in my life - this is actually not that unbelievable at all. I’ve had entire flights wait for me once or twice before 😂 it’s very embarassing finally boarding the plane when everyone else has been seated for at least 20 mins and they just know you’re the exact reason they’re late 🥲🥹😂
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Karl der Große 7 months ago
I've had a plane wait for for me to get off so I could run for a connection. This one is not very implausible.
Sue User 7 months ago
I have seen this happen. On a delayed plane and they announced some people were trying to make a connection , so we stayed put while about 10-12 people scrambled off first.
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KatSaidWhat 7 months ago
TBF, I was on a KLM flight and they did ask passengers to stay seated so those of us on a transfer flight (another KLM) could make it. That's is the only time in my history of flying over 30 years that that has happened.
JK 7 months ago
Ok, I'll tell my other story. It was about 15+ years ago and we were stuck in the check in line in Minneapolis, where I grew up. I was way back in line and the guy ahead of me was worried because he had to make a flight to say good bye to a loved one that was about to be taken off life support. So I go to the head of the line and ask if people would let him up to the front of the line due to an emergency. Generalized complaints and I said that I grew up there and would never expect this response. Shook my head and got back in line. The admonishment worked! People bumped him ahead and I missed my flight. The same lady who checked him in told me he made the flight. Another time, I had to fly from Chicago to Minneapolis due to the death of my grandmother. I was the only person on the flight so they bumped me to 1st class and free cocktails. Northwest. I liked them.
Load More Replies... JK 7 months ago
I was flying with my cats. The flight staff was supposed to give me a written confirmation that my felines were aboard. They didn't have it. I said that you will have your pilots radio and find out where my cats are. She said "we can't do that" and I said "you can and you will. And proceeded to tell her that the pilots can radio it in..." I cried and once we had been in the air for about 45 minutes. "They were on an earlier flight so just go to the check in desk." I did. Built a little wall around me with my luggage on the floor and pulled each of them out of the cage for a snuggle. Next move, I drove them instead of flying. But I can't imagine the convo between pilots and air traffic control and all that. ""Yes, tell the crazy cat lady her two are safe." I made a point to thank the pilots on the way off the plane. I have another airport story I'll save for later.
quentariel 7 months ago
I haven't personally experienced this in airplane but in trains that's quite common. When nearing a station you hear announcements about which train leaves from that station in which time and which traintrack. Often there are mentions of one train waiting passengers from another train that's running late, so people always allow those people to get off first as there's a whole train waiting for them. In a plane it's a bit more difficult, but probably plausible.
CD Mills 7 months ago
I did hear, fairly recently, about one man who was trying to get home to a dying family member, and the pilot told everybody they were to stay in their seats so the man could rush off the plane first. I'm not sure a school dance would pull enough strings to get those types of concessions.
Auntriarch 7 months ago
I've been on delayed flights where the staff asked people who didn't have a connecting flight to stay seated and let connecting passengers get off. But it would have to be mediated by staff, otherwise nobody would take any notice
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« Luckily, My GF Is Not 'Woke' »
and_a_touch_of_the_’tism 7 months ago
Aside from the obvious bullshittery, I just want to say, it is SO HARD to medically transition if you’re actually trans, you need psych evals, checks, double checks, “are you sure”s every time.
Steve Kadner 7 months ago (edited)
I think you're mistaken, last election I was told that kids were getting transitioned in school without their parents knowing! Oh and " They're eating the cats, They're eating the dogs"!
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Michael Fernandez 7 months ago
… and then they had to install a kitty litter box because she identified as a cat. And everyone applauded.
Tropical Tarot 7 months ago
The litter was a possibility for kids to use the bathroom during an active shooter situation.
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The Darkest Timeline 7 months ago
This is a perfect, if over-the-top example of how the reactionary right thinks.
Megalodon Meg 7 months ago
Lmao no medical professional of a 20 year old would ever tell a parent any of this unless they really want their license revoked for violating HIPAA
🇺🇦 PrincessPatton 🇺🇦 7 months ago
That's a lot of nonsense. No doctor in the world would say that.
So, are we lying less online than we lie in real life? Yes, but only to our close circle of friends. Hancock and his team explain that there are two online spaces we inhabit. The first is the "inside world": our friends, colleagues, family members, and acquaintances that we have in our contacts on social media. The "outside world" is the rest of the internet that we don't know personally.
#10
Because Of Course A Child Would Know More About Medicine Than A Trained Doctor
Tucker Cahooter 7 months ago
Nothing to write home about. Lisa Simpson was advising Dr Nick Riviera on what to do (on heart surgery no less) when she was just 8 years old
Donna Peluda 7 months ago
Believe me I broke my arm. I took to long to get to hospital and my arm was so swollen they couldn't put a cast..after 2.week and an X-ray it was ok to plaster but the bone wasn't aligned . I don't wish that pain on nobody.
Wondering Alice 7 months ago
I can completely believe a medical professional let a child think this if it seemed to be keeping them calm.
Lara Verne 7 months ago
Oh, and you were only 7 years old when you were diagnosed as a pathological liar, right?
#11
Totally True... I Was The Water
Binky Melnik 7 months ago (edited)
That’s what I was wondering, as I was under the impression that “alpha males” believe they are manlier, more powerful men. How is congregating in hot tubs in which they shoo away “extremely attractive” women “alpha”? This made me question whether “alpha male” is code for “extremely gay.” (And they’re triplets? Cow help us all!)
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Falcon dimi 7 months ago
I always think of Alpha Male as in IT terms. Not stable, full of bugs, not ready to release for public use.
Michael Largey 7 months ago
They're more like Alfalfa Males, if you remember the Little Rascals.
Load More Replies... Mary Lou 7 months ago (edited)
I mean this is the first one I 100% believe actually happened: guess there are a bunch of women out there who still remember how they just wanted to use the hot tub at their hotel too and got blocked by those probably menspreading AHs... 🤮
LinkTheHylian 7 months ago (edited)
Electric Six' follow-up single to 'Gay Bar'; 'Gay Hot Tub'.
Binky Melnik 7 months ago
They likely also *have* fish sticks. (Which sounds zactly like “fish dıcks.”)
Load More Replies... luci (he/fae) 7 months ago
three bros, sitting in a hot tub. they are not five feet apart, therefore they are gay. this has been cunk on alpha males.
She who must not be named 7 months ago
I immediately sang that little tune when I saw the pic 😅
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#12
The Wisdom Of 8-Year-Olds
Say No to Downvoting 7 months ago
Tbf, as a mother of 2 autistic kids who talks a lot with other parents of autistic kids, this one is actually quite believable.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 7 months ago
"The world is a mushier than that"? And we're supposed to think OP's 8-year-old is a genius?
BrunoVI 7 months ago
It doesn't take a genius to understand that music is based on resonance and the way to understand resonance is through logarithmic math.
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Our communication with our "inside world" tends to be more honest since it's all people that we know. We can't lie about ourselves (or others) too much because friends and acquaintances will most likely call us out on it.
In the "outside world," however, we feel much braver. That's why comment sections tend to be breeding grounds for angry little goblins: "There are little to no reputation costs for people to lie online," Hancock explains.
#13
Ah Yes. Non-Answers To Nonsense
Virgil Blue 7 months ago
A library only featuring a bible and Kent Hovinds selected works maybe.
Chilli 7 months ago
M'kay, I'll go to a library- oh look! A whole display about dinosaurs with fictional and non-fictional books aimed at a range of age categories (Yes this is an actual thing at my library currently, we have a different themed display each month two months ago we had a bugs and insect theme it was really cool.)
MEB 7 months ago
I actually teach sociology. Students, these days, generally don't give a fudge about dinosaurs, unless they're on the spectrum and dinos are their special interest. That would account, at the very most, for one student each semester, in any sociology class. Therefor, I call b*llsh*t.
BeesEelsAndPups 7 months ago
Are dinosaurs a common topic in a sociology course?
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EJN 6 months ago
This is someone who doesn't even realize that a library would contain books that show fossils of dinosaurs that attest to the fact that they existed before mankind... But, let them flounder in ignorance... they are at the stage of spiritual development where simple stories are the best hope of teaching them anything, hence the Bible...
Amanda Reinstatler 6 months ago
Right cuz there definitely are NOT books about dinosaurs in the library.....
#14
Em Wow The Resemblance Is Remarkable
Binky Melnik 7 months ago
Worse, he spent something like half a million to look like Bieber. 🙄 I’d say he needs another surgeon, ideally one who knows what Bieber looks like.
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Tyranamar 7 months ago
Oh, this is so sad. This is that guy who had all that plastic surgery trying to look like Justin Bieber. And still, he has those close set eyes and looks nothing like Bieber. Or even normal anymore. I wish he’d invested that money in therapy instead. You could get daily psychoanalysis with an actual analyst for what he’s paid.
Burgermeister Meisterburger 7 months ago
I was going to mention that, but I hate putting down anyones looks, especially things they were born with… BUT this guy seems like a nutter so he is fair game lol.
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Michael Largey 7 months ago (edited)
What his mother actually said was "Ward, I'm worried about the Bieber."
E Henry Todd 7 months ago
In reality somebody once told him he looked like a c**t and he misunderstood the meaning behind their comment.
#15
Workplace Demanded Jk Rowling Purity Pledge... Yeah Sure
David Morgan 7 months ago
Missing context here. Was OP applying to be JK's publicist? Can't see anyone else caring that JK is definitely transphobic.
Cindy Brick 7 months ago
Why do I get the feeling there were additional reasons why this person was fired??
Still, our personas on social media can wildly deviate from how we really are in real life. A 2015 study investigated people's "Facebook-self" and found that many users count their Facebook persona as different from their real self.
The researchers studied 258 Facebook users and found that those with low self-esteem and "low trait authenticity" are more likely to present a different "self" online.
#16
Random Person Is Being Surveilled By The Government
and_a_touch_of_the_’tism 7 months ago
They do listen. They just don’t tell you they’re listening.
Matthew Savestheworld 7 months ago
For this to be believable you would have to believe that the US government was now run by facsists that are also incredibly incompentent...........................on second thought..not that far fetched
Snazzy Smurf 7 months ago
Some iPhones have that feature. My mom had to turn hers off because every time she was on the phone she kept hitting that button leading to a message of the call being recorded.
Fuzzdinkel83 7 months ago
I was going say this too. My son likes to record calls talking to spammers lol
Load More Replies... 🇺🇦 PrincessPatton 🇺🇦 7 months ago
Yeah, everybody knows that when the security forces eavesdrop on somebody, they always politely announce it. I believe it.
Jesper Pedersen 7 months ago
Your mom used her best computer voice to prank you. Great to have a mom that cares to make harmless pranks.
gvizzle_ 74 7 months ago
they were on hold during a conference call with their cell phone provider
#17
"We're Taking Out Little Girls Uteruses Here" -Very Real Hospital Management Staff
Ellinor 7 months ago (edited)
When a grown adult with a uterus ask for a hysterectomy 99% of the doctors say no, and you want me to believe that they would do that willingly to children ?? HA.HA.HA
LakotaWolf (she/her) 7 months ago
43 and HELLA over menstruation and I STILL can't get a hysterectomy XD
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Chelle 7 months ago
I lived in GA and CT no one was willing to even admit I had anything wrong until I gained 60lbs in 3 months.
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antoinette maldari 7 months ago
You mean MAGA propaganda. The US Republican party died 4 years ago (maybe more?)
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VogueGal 7 months ago
Coincidentally, I just went to see my OBGYN a couple weeks ago and asked about hysterectomy because I’m always in so much pain (resulted in bedridden) after I had my son, she told me a hard no, and I’m in my mid-40s.
JK 7 months ago (edited)
Find an Indian female surgical gynecologist. This might be TMI, but they are very good at working around nerves. When I was given the pre-op I was warned that it is very easy to cut the nerves that are connected to the ability to have an orgasm. The other thing to ask about is the cuff. A hysterectomy means that your cervix is taken out and they use tissue to make a cuff to seal off what used to be there. It can be a three to six months recovery and will bring changes to intimate life. EDIT: Sorry if I offended anyone. Just sharing that there are a lot of decisions, individual and with consultation with a surgical gynecologists. Reading the comments here make me realize how lucky I was to get the operation. It changed my life in a very good way and I have a lot of empathy for women who are not as lucky as I was.
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Full of Giggles 7 months ago
The most disturbing part of this meme is that 11 people upvoted it.
Tonyah Mcanelly 7 months ago
I agree that in this line of work you have to be unbiased. unless its an extreme case they are not giving a young child a hysterectomy
#18
Bro To Bro Recognize
Binky Melnik 7 months ago
He saw the popular meme about this very topic and decided to try his [badly-written] version because he thought itd make him look good. It doesn’t.
gvizzle_ 74 7 months ago
"i went back to give him a tip" instead of leaving it on the table like literally everyone else
urbeinghunted 25 7 months ago
How much did you drink to be able to write that and expect people to believe it?
Sometimes, we lie on social media because we feel pressured. Who hasn't felt FOMO when scrolling through a friend's Instagram profile, feeling a pang of jealousy about how stylish they are, and how easy and awesome their life seems? Those of us who grew up with social media are in danger of developing unrealistic expectations about achievements and appearance.
#19
Definitely Happened 🙄
Kit Black 7 months ago (edited)
He's trying to make sure she doesn't have an excuse to bring them back, lol!
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ChickyChicky 7 months ago
I think this one is possible. I sold a used bike to some people and long story short I told them to keep their money and have it for free.
Sarah Morgan 6 months ago (edited)
My grandmother was selling a large sectional couch. The guy who came to look at it was newly divorced and needed a place for his 2 daughters to sleep in his bew apartment. He asked her if she'd be willing to take a little less money than she was asking, since he was a bit short but really needed it. She told him to just take it, no money required. Sometimes people who are financially able to help others choose to do so.
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Jessie 6 months ago
Yes! Our Miele washing machine is almost 30 years old and it still works like we bought it yesterday
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#20
Cool Guy In A Cybertruck
Tucker Cahooter 7 months ago
At least he had the sense to put the sharpie out of shot before he took the picture
meow meow 7 months ago
It's a trap. They spit in your coffee and have probably done much much worse to it.
LinkTheHylian 7 months ago
Cyber trucks are so bad even Michael Bay would refuse to use them as background Decepticons in the next TransFormers movie.
#21
He's Not Joking, He Said No Joke Twice!
Tucker Cahooter 7 months ago
They forgot to add that they also turn green and their clothes rip
Panda McPandaface 7 months ago
Half red? So like... just one eye or the top half of each eye? Circles like a target? C'mon, I need details here.
Enuya 7 months ago
It's anger-o-meter. They start turning red from the bottom eyelid and then the angrier they get, the more red goes up. So, if you're 50% angry, lower half of your eye is red and upper part is normal
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Alyssa Acosta, APCC, head of the Adolescent Partial Hospital Program at Loma Linda University Behavioral Health, explains that, upon seeing perfection on social media, young people might feel inadequate and start struggling with low self-esteem and body dysmorphia.
#22
It's True, I Saw It In One Article
Nikole 7 months ago
Hey, *I* was born in July too! Maybe one day some piece of shít will name a car company after me.
SCP 4666 7 months ago (edited)
I would love to drive a Nikole cyber truck
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Bi.Felicia 7 months ago
Gotta be careful in those lighting storms, all the different lamps and fixtures battling it out to be the brightest of the dim.
BossyCloud 6 months ago
Of course he'd be a child of light if born during a lighting storm. Seems obvious really.
Load More Replies... Stephanie Did It 7 months ago
Wow, that's exactly what happened when Abe Lincoln and JFK were born!
Jumping Jellyfishes 7 months ago
And then midwife, the dog standing next to the door, and the cat underneath the bed, clapped.
#23
Very Smart 10 Year Old
K Barnes 7 months ago
And teachers, apparently teachers are grooming the kids now, too. Turning them gay and whatnot.
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Jack Smith 7 months ago
This one made me lol. OP (Anna) is basically saying "the candidate that looks good and sounds good must be evil so I'm gonna vote for a lying, cheating, pusssey grabbing, conman who is borderline incoherent." Great catch Anna, well played 😂🤣
ChickyChicky 7 months ago
Trump is a continuous sinner. I don't understand why all the cheating on his spouses is excused by people who claim to be against adultery.
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Crystalwitch60 7 months ago
Oh boy dragged up by brainwashed lunatic bible bashers right there 🤦♀️
#24
Straight Outta GPT
Tucker Cahooter 7 months ago
More likely the real conversation was just "I found this in the back of the closet. Do you want it?"
gvizzle_ 74 7 months ago
not 70's style and woulda been easier to say "my neighbour was throwing out old clothes and asked me if i wanted this"
Jane Ellen 6 months ago
I had one much like it. Wore it alot in the 80's and 90's. But body changed and I gave it up.
To battle our feelings of low self-esteem, we try to look for validation and approval online. Some folks even go so far as to post about how sad they are to gain sympathy. Researchers have actually given a name for this: "sadfishing." You, too, probably have that friend who feigns depression or sadness online from time-to-time to get some attention.
#25
Vivek Ramaswamy Encounter
UKGrandad 7 months ago
Are you sure that confounded (confused, perplexed) is the word you wanted, because that doesn't make sense.
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Tony Manuel 7 months ago
Yes, doge who's leader is a child that goes by the name of Big Balls or whatever is really good at ruining regular hardworking people's lives. This regime is the worst.
DowntownStevieB 7 months ago
It's still comical how he seriously thought he'd be the GOP candidate. I mean, read his name and check his hue. They could never. lol
Gerry Higgins 7 months ago
Yes, DOGE firing the people who keep the nuclear weapons from exploding was such a terrific thing to do.
#26
Watch Out Guys, You Don’t Wanna Be Near The Reaper When His Eyes Turn Blue 😈🥶
Binky Melnik 7 months ago
So he’s saying he killed six kids? He thinks that’s something smart to say? Maybe he’s in the early stages”special” class? Because he obviously didn’t k**l anyone, never mind in a six-on-one fight. I feel kinda bad for the kids on this page feeling they hafta make up outrageous 🐎💩 to feel important, one of the crowd, whatever it is they’re trying to do. They shouldn’t feel that way. I suspect something isnt right at home. 😞
Bi.Felicia 7 months ago
I think they may have confused reality with whatever video game they're playing.
#27
This Feels Unlikely
Stephanie Did It 7 months ago
Oh, those flappers in their pleated blouses and nose rings were all the rage.
LinkTheHylian 7 months ago
That's not Timothée Chalamet? This trend of looking like a sickly Victorian child is really annoying now...
Rachel Reynolds 7 months ago
I stopped by 5Below coming home from an event dressed in 1770's garb. All I got was a whispered "What the f**k?"
Professor of Media Psychology at Fielding Graduate University Pamela Rutledge, Ph.D., M.B.A. suggests that the internet itself doesn't make us more dishonest. "Honesty is about people. We lose sight of the fact that for every opportunity to be dishonest online, there are as many offline." Perhaps those who lie online would do so just as enthusiastically in real life, too.
#28
Children Very Concerned About Food Coloring
Ellinor 7 months ago
Children repeat what they hear, so I'd just say that you're a very rigid parent and that your kids are going to have an ED in a few years.
Samantha C 7 months ago
my kid knows food dyes are bad and would eat it anyway bc kids are still kids
K Barnes 7 months ago
Froot loops, not fruit loops, OP. The story of why the name changed from fruit to froot is excellent.
KnightOwl86 7 months ago (edited)
Yeah, this one doesn't seem that unbelievable to me. I know a lot of kids who'd refuse to eat US cereals, they're way too sweet and tend to have a weird chemical aftertaste (at least in my experience.) I've bought a few boxes of them and let my nieces and nephews try them and only 1 of the 16 actually liked them, the rest said they were disgusting. I'm in the UK where most people don't like overly sweet breakfast foods, we tend to stick to toast, bland/slightly sweet cereals or pastries.
#29
Sure, Susan, Everyone Cheered
Jaya 7 months ago
The only way this happened, is if everyone was so tipsy that they only need to hear the word 'pint' to start cheering 😄
turk 7 months ago
I've been to Scotland. I'm not sure they serve "half-pints".
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turk 7 months ago
My wife has ordered pints with me in numerous countries and no one so much as yawned. This is dumb.
Auntriarch 7 months ago (edited)
They didn't even raise an eyebrow in 1978 (except in the Con Club, but they probably still do there).
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HeavyMetalHeart 7 months ago
Yeah… I live in the Highlands and women drinking pints is an extremely normal occurrence which no one would raise an eyebrow at. Would be surprised if a Scottish barman even suggested a half pint!
KnightOwl86 7 months ago
In the Highlands? Of Scotland? I'm Scottish, noone here would ever bat an eye at a woman ordering a pint, and no barstaff would ever try to talk anyone into buying a half instead of a full pint. God these people are ridiculous..
#30
Not How Learning A Language Works
Binky Melnik 7 months ago
Oh, yeah? And how many languages have you learned watching movies on your Android device, hmmm?
Load More Replies... K Barnes 7 months ago
D**n, wish I could learn Tagalog by watching a Filipino vampire drama series. This is goals!
Binky Melnik 7 months ago
I largely watch foreign language movies and TV (all of ‘em; I don’t care which), and I’ve not picked up a *single* language this way! I apparently should be fluent in Japanese, Korean, German, Farsi, Tagalog, Urdu, and Russian by now, dammit! I’m getting refunds from the streamers!
Load More Replies... gvizzle_ 74 7 months ago
if this were true, i'd be giving every 7 year old an ipad - bilingualism should be encouraged
Neb 6 months ago
I noticed the same :D Especially, as "caucasus" is not a country. " It's a region spanning Eastern Europe and Western Asia, largely comprised of Armenia, Azerbaijan, Georgia, and parts of Southern Russia. "
Load More Replies... Cindy Brick 6 months ago
And you're not concerned that your 7-year-old niece is watching a vampire series?!?
But what about these ridiculous stories, Pandas? Do you think people would have the stones to recount these in real life? Let us know which ones you found the most absurd and funny in the comments! And while you're here, don't forget to check out our previous posts about the r/thatHappened subreddit here and here!
#31
It’s So Weird When People Voice Their Personal Opinions Through Fake Narratives Involving Their Kid
Ms.GB 7 months ago
I know whenever I go anywhere I make sure to stop every stranger I see and tell them I'm a woman.
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Atom Bohr 7 months ago
No, unfortunately. It's intentional. Its basically saying that even individual women aren't really individuals, they're just part of this 'collective', inferior group. Its really gross and its been gradually creeping across the Internet for years now
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Gerry Higgins 7 months ago
If this is true I feel so bad for the daughter who's taught to be so mean and hateful at such a young age.
#32
A Random Eyeball In A Kids Drink
Highfalutin Heron 7 months ago (edited)
Then they went to the fried chicken place and found a fried rat in their chicken
#33
Of Course This Totally Happened!
nicholas nolan 7 months ago
Just...magnificent. That's how you comment, people!
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Binky Melnik 7 months ago
Oh, good! I’d thought I was in the early stages of dementia when I couldn’t remember it.
Load More Replies... XenoMurph 7 months ago
I think people are confused because it has an alternative title. "The Art of The Deal"
Load More Replies... LakotaWolf (she/her) 7 months ago
The only time I've experienced something even remotely close to this in real life is when my vet repaired my dog's umbilical hernia simultaneously during the doggo's neuter procedure. My vet told us afterwards that the internal hernia was the largest he'd ever personally seen/repaired and he called over all the other vets who were working that day and everyone gloved up and apparently stuck their hands in my dog's hernia and laughed about it XD My dog's pen!s/test!cle size was normal, however :p
Rafael 7 months ago
I once had something called Reversible Cerebral Vasoconstriction Syndrome, and the head of neurology at the hospital asked me if he could visit me with students, I felt like I was on a episode of Scrubs, but no one, I say NO ONE asked me to drop trousers that day. It is almost like people aren't interested in seeing strangers naked without context, right?
Load More Replies... #34
This Mystery Man’s Handwriting Is Absolutely 100% Totally His
Nils Skirnir 7 months ago
10 or at most 15, $100 bills. $1000 - 1500. Must be one heckuva s****y apt and lousy vacation
Binky Melnik 7 months ago
It’s more likely the bills under the $100 are ones. We’ve all seen huge stacks of ostensible “fortunes” on social media that turned out to be ones. Those make me sad that dopes feel the need to pretend to be rich thinking it’ll get ‘em respect, access to poossy, and whatever else it is they think they’re gonna be doing.
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#35
Strong Man And His In-Laws
Motivated sloth 7 months ago
Political affiliation aside, I wouldn’t want my daughter to marry a man who thinks she’s weak just because she’s a woman.
Robert Beveridge 7 months ago
I've seen a bunch of those "strong men follow other strong men" videos. Mostly on pornhub.
turk 7 months ago
I can't watch Pornhub in my state unless I send them a picture of me holding my driver's license. Republican bill.
Load More Replies... Donna Peluda 7 months ago
Actually no, that's not true, the weak men are the ones that follow the leader with blind faith. You know, the ones that die in battles..its the strong and smart that resist.
Roshan Kassan 7 months ago
if my daughter marries a man like that, i would hit him no matter what
#36
The Guy In The Car Next To Them Then Unfortunately Wrecked Because He Was Clapping Instead Of Driving
Space Invader 7 months ago
And then they both crashed because no one was watching the road or had their hands on the wheel...
Wild Cream 7 months ago (edited)
When I sit in the passenger seat of my bf’s car and we just got fast food, I’ll feed him fries while he drives too 😂 keeps his eyes on the road (and honestly I’m gonna eat the fries while we drive anyways so he’ll get jealous haha). It’s not that uncommon or weird, I think lots of couples do this. Certainly not wild or crazy enough to take a photo 😂
Amanda Reinstatler 6 months ago
You actually stopped what you were doing to write a post about this.
Jean Alexander 7 months ago (edited)
That's cute, actually. No on can wait until they get home to eat the fries. (not the wreck part)
#37
I Don't Know Why But I Get Second Hand Embarrassment To Music Related Things Like This
Richard Pennington 7 months ago
Toby or not Toby ... that is the question ...
Load More Replies... LinkTheHylian 7 months ago
Plot twist: OP was trying, and failing, to keep up with "Through the Fire and Flames" on Guitar Hero.
Tom Hutcherson 3 months ago (edited)
Ah, a cold Rocky Mountain Panther P**s. (I was born and raised in Colorado. Every native know it's not drinkable).
Gracie Mae 6 months ago
THIS is the only one I can seriously find credible--and that's because I have told my neighbor the same thing. We live in rural houses & he's going deaf, but is always worried that his music is too loud. We have similar tastes in music, so I've been known to sit on my porch yelling stuff like "Hell yeah!" during breaks in the music. gotta love living in the country!
Jessie 6 months ago
I’ve never met anyone that was named Toby Todd and signed with one name while introducing themselves with the other, it doesn’t add up
Load More Replies... #38
I Believe It
Dangerous Dave 7 months ago
I believe it. My cousin’s acquaintance said some random guy walked into their office whistling the theme from the Andy Griffith Show and then walked out; and they shut the office down and all went fishin’
Tonyah Mcanelly 7 months ago
I would like to where you find " Health insurance offices" working in insurance Most "health insurance offices " are call centers and you usually cant get past security with out a company badge
Matthew Savestheworld 7 months ago
Does anyone actually ever go to a Health insurance office? Seriously I mean I know the employees go, but its not like they have a retail counter or appointments. You always have to go through the hospital admin, human resources, or maybe online.
#39
Everyone Actually Clapped
Donna Peluda 7 months ago (edited)
Was this in 1984, cos I'm getting real 1984 vibes from USA at the moment..like Naranjito has even changed the enemies you are supposed to hate. Now it the democratic nations.
Child of the Stars 7 months ago
Depending where this happened, I could potentially believe it. I've lived in a couple small rural towns in the Midwest where this is absolutely plausible. And that was 20 years ago; I could imagine that sort of pseudo-patriotism is even more ridiculous now.
Ellinor 7 months ago
To be honest, with the whole "pledge of allegiance" indoctrination, it doesn't seem THAT unbelievable to me...
LooseSeal's $10 Banana 7 months ago
And there are definitely radio stations where I live that play the national anthem at the same time every morning. So, not super unrealistic that a bunch of "country" high school boys would do this.
Load More Replies... SlightlyTarnished 7 months ago
......and then everyone chanted U-S-A, U-S-A, U-S-A, then we raised the biggest baddest American flag ever made, then we were all given hand jobs by Lauren Boebert..... America, ain't it just grand!
Glen Ellyn 7 months ago
Sorry, I'm not believing the applause bit. Unless Whitney Houston was singing live in front of them. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Never Snarky 6 months ago
Many years ago, my husband and I were visiting Canada (we're from the US). We we in a small restaurant and the Canadian anthem was played before a game on TV. Everyone in the restaurant stood, put their hands on their hearts, and sang. Absolutely true story.
Wetbeard-the-Pirate (he/she) 6 months ago
This is completely appropriate if it's the Radiohead song
#40
Yeah, Sure Lady
Robert Beveridge 7 months ago
And two floors up in the accounting office some guy was saying to his coworkers "and I asked again and again but she wouldn't give me any of that French toast"
Panda McPandaface 7 months ago
I stink of kebab. I got ravaged by a badger. It was awful. I'm going to take one of my pills and have a little lie down now.
Donna Peluda 7 months ago
I had vanilla oil but it was for NSFW if you get the gist. Make sure you got clean sheets if you do use it.
urbeinghunted 25 7 months ago
On the contrary, you seem like you need to calm down cuz nobody else craves attention like u
Dirk Daring 7 months ago
If people can smell it on you from more than a meter away, you are using way too much.
Richard Smith 7 months ago
"...then I murd**ed her and stole her scent! Now I shall be the only delicious one!"
Fancy Mcgee 7 months ago
I don’t care if it’s fake; I laughed out loud imagining people following her around screaming for blood-er, or cookies… ooh, yes, give us cookies!
#41
This Guy Is Frequently The Witty, Undefeated Hero In A Lot Of His Stories. And Everyone Just Eats It Up
KieLeaHar 7 months ago
Why would her first instinct be to say you’re gay by looking at his shirt… that doesn’t… That doesn’t even make sense? That’s like saying someone wearing A I don’t know a rapper‘s T-shirt and look at them and go. Hey you’re a rapper or wanna be rapper… it does not make sense. I don’t know why people have to live their fantasies in their heads out on their Facebook. It’s really stupid and I don’t know why people have to entertain their fantasies.
KnightOwl86 7 months ago
A famous Australian singer, very successful in Australia, Europe and Asia.
Load More Replies... #42
Even The Spider Told The Prof To Check Her Privilege
LinkTheHylian 7 months ago
"Dear Chad, I apologise for asking you to unalive a spider and open a window. Granted, I did it because you were closer to both than everyone else, but now I see proximity is just another tool of the opressive matriarchy. I hope the A+ I'm giving you on your next assignment is accepted as part of my apology, and along with that I'm going to show how sincere I am by keeping my pretty little mouth shut and spending more time in the kitchen. Once again, I apologise for my attitude."
Kalikima 7 months ago
Only *straight* male. Cuz you know those gays don't have the strength to open a window. 🙄 What a dóuche.
Load More Replies... Tony Manuel 7 months ago
I bet he's an "alpha male" now and teaches all the feminist about feminism they don't learn in the woke colleges across the states. Shew, dudes are the worst.
Isaac Fritz 6 months ago
"required feminism class"? I've heard comments like this from people who never got out of high school and use "college educated" as an insult.
#43
“I’m A Man And You’re A Woman”
Kallen Kneeland 7 months ago
To have a hallucination that psychedelic I think he may have been popping acid not "burning blunts".
Erik Biesemeier 7 months ago
Sometimes it is; my former neighbor was in incredible shape despite smoking nonstop, subsisting mostly on milk and spending most of his free time playing Gran Turismo. Some people just hit the genetic lottery.
Load More Replies... Wild Cream 7 months ago (edited)
Lmao I destroy my boyfriend when it comes to physical activity. He can lift heavier things but my endurance is way, way better. He’s usually huffing and puffing behind me when we go running or hiking or kayaking or rock climbing 😂 and both of us are on a “burning blunts and eating bad” routine haha
#44
Who The Hell Can’t See The Difference Between A Video And A Zoom Meeting??
LinkTheHylian 7 months ago
I mean if the video was full screen and she only caught a glimpse of what her dad was looking at, I can see this happening.
Binky Melnik 7 months ago
But “the nerd” knew he was who she was referring to? And her dad didn’t say anything about her language? Or correct her? Or tell her not to be mean to people? Or *anythjng*? Dad was okay with her insulting investors? While I agree that I can totally see someone mistaking a Zoom meeting for a video, I don’t believe it happens the way this аsshole describes.
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Wild Cream 7 months ago
Hahahaa I’ve never met my bio father. Never even saw a photo of him until a few years ago when I was helping my mom clean out some old boxes. A photo of some dude with glasses fell out and I asked “oh wow who’s this nerd?” My mum’s like “uh…..that’s your father” 😂😂
#45
Like The Secret Service Would Let This Happen
LinkTheHylian 7 months ago
Probably stuck in a Signal chat about bombing the Houthis.
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Nizumi 7 months ago
From the guy who has no problem separating children from parents and locking them up like prisoners.
zjansen 6 months ago
You'd think Dems would be happy that Trump is continuing an Obama-initiated policy.
Load More Replies... Roshan Kassan 7 months ago
Dude, as the VP, where was your security? Also, you ACTUALLY stopped to talk to PEOPLE? Such a load of nonsense
gvizzle_ 74 7 months ago
if you're using your 3 year old in a fake story to further your political agenda, you're a sh*t person
#46
My Six Year Solved In 30 Seconds!
Motivated sloth 7 months ago
If that is only for geniuses I need to call Mensa and find out where my membership is.
LinkTheHylian 7 months ago
My friend, Mensa makes you PAY for membership.
Load More Replies... nottheactualphoto 7 months ago
I'd upvote, but it was too perfect to disturb. eleven-681...f970c7.jpg 
Wild Cream 7 months ago
We call it BEDMAS in my part of the world (Brackets exponents, division, multiplication, addition, subtraction)! I’d never heard of PEMDAS before Bored Panda :) makes me assume it doesn’t matter what order you do the multiplication and division I guess?
Load More Replies... Cindy Brick 7 months ago
...writes the person who can't add "a" before 'genius,' or "-es" after.
#47
It’s True, I Was The Cave She Was Hidden In…
S Mi 7 months ago (edited)
Probably child abuse, child 'kidnapped' into foster care
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Binky Melnik 7 months ago (edited)
“A mom that’s daughter” tells us right off the bat she’s illiterate, and if she *really* believes a kid was successfully hidden for months by a school counselor, she’s also a credulous аsshole whose social media accounts should be taken away, and that includes her ability to *read* it (not that she be can trusted to read anyway). Good thing they’re safe in Florida now! Wow! 😮
Stephanie Did It 7 months ago
That phrase just made me cringe right out of the paragraph.
Load More Replies... Robert Beveridge 7 months ago
At least they went to a state where the OP will fit in when they visit
DowntownStevieB 7 months ago
Depends on what the child went to the counselor for. If it was abuse, then no, the parent gets no rights until the investigation is complete. That's literally law in every state.
SlightlyTarnished 7 months ago
Yes, please continue the mass migration of insane people to Florida, the Northern States thank you.
Russell Rieckenberg 7 months ago (edited)
"Needless to say" yet you still found the need to say it.
Crystalwitch60 7 months ago
Never happened !! Or if it did the kids was being abused so needed help ! n that would not be over stepping !
Lady Eowyn 7 months ago
Crystal Witch has apparently never heard of the word "and".
Load More Replies... zjansen 6 months ago
In some states (California and Minnesota are two of them), if a child -- a child, not an adult, but a minor child -- wants to gender transition, the state can legally take custody of the child if the parents say no. That same child can't go on a school field trip without parental permission, but the state can take the child away if a parent thinks the child should be an adult before making life-changing decisions.
#48
"Sir," With Tears In Eyes, Blah, Blah, Blah
Robyn Hill 7 months ago
If Eric really wants to do something for the country, he should volunteer for the armed forces, like William and Harry did.
Virgil Blue 7 months ago
He does look like the boring template character you get before you customise your avatar in n game.
Load More Replies... #49
Unknown Conspiracy Theorist Is The Main Character In This Election
Panda McPandaface 7 months ago
From Wikipedia: "Naomi Rebekah Wolf is an American feminist author, journalist, and conspiracy theorist." "During the COVID-19 pandemic, Wolf has frequently promoted COVID-19 misinformation, misinformation related to vaccination and 5G conspiracy theories." "...her first book, The Beauty Myth, an international bestseller. The New York Times named it "one of the seventy most influential books of the twentieth century."
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Harlsen Chesterton 6 months ago
In the 90s Naomi Wolf was one of the most famous feminist writers around. "The Beauty Myth" published in 1990/1 was absolutely huge. A testament to her work is that a lot of the comments to other posts on BP about criticizing women for their looks and beauty standards come from Wolf's work.
#50
The Awkward What Now?
Ms.GB 7 months ago
I think that silence is more likely due to all the people that needlessly died of covid .
Binky Melnik 7 months ago
Because people are quiet at funerals out of respect. (Though I’m wondering where this аsshole is that everyone is silent because they realize the unvac… oh, I can’t even finish that stupid sentence.)
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April Pickett 7 months ago
Yes, that's correct. That's why we have had 300+ children die from chicken pox.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 7 months ago
Measles is back too! And polio! I wonder what's next?
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roepi 7 months ago
They are on the left as well. Stupid isn't limited to a side.
Load More Replies... Reset Game 7 months ago (edited)
No. The silence is from over 3,000 adults and children who have (or had because they weren't vaccinated) Measles, Covid or RSV
#51
Sounds Like The Test From Fight Club
Motivated sloth 7 months ago
I would say I’m definitely not working for someone who is willing to waste my time.
Jaya 7 months ago
If we just forget that it's some fake b******t story: That's not a test of patience, that's a test for how willing you are to let your bosses take advantage of you.
Eri J 7 months ago
Ridiculous. What if they had a doctor appointment to get to? Or had to pick up a sick kid? Or any emergency call?
Crystalwitch60 7 months ago
Apparently lol if it’s real that would show the firm has no concept of family life real life long as you work till you drop the rest ain’t allowed typical USA tbh
Load More Replies... Donna Peluda 7 months ago
Plot twist, the 3 left to go to an interview were there skills and knowledge was assessed at the got a job at a real company. I was on the third and last interview for a job. Basically they were telling I was going to get the job. The salary they offered me was less than half advertised. The reason when I inquired " your still very young and we didn't expect to find someone with you. Qualification, Skills (I'd done a practical test) and work experience" so I told them to shove it..I told them that my current job paid twice the offer. He's reply " who would be stupid enough to pay a 24 year old that kind of money"
#52
It's True, I Was The Friend!
Binky Melnik 7 months ago
I wanna know what law the police thought they were enforcing when they came to take his daughter to be transitioned. I’ll wait while he looks it up and gets back to us.
#53
Your 7 Year Old Did Not Say That. Quit Lying
Woof Yo 7 months ago
the things people will say just to justify voting for a convicted sexual predator who gives them permission to be racist, sexist, xenophobic, homophobic and intolerant out loud.
Alyce 6 months ago
A civil trial 20+ years after the fact does not make you a 'convicted sexual predator'. There are actual laws about these things, please learn them before speaking
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Kat Alison 7 months ago
Trump would definitely want to deport Santa. He’s not a U.S. citizen, and he gives people things for free.
meow meow 7 months ago
It's true Santa and Trump give much more presents to the rich kids. They also give the Jews and Muslims nothing.
#54
Come On, Really? The "Because You Did Not Earn It" Just Makes It So Clear
Neb 6 months ago
Probably the least believable was voted up as "most likely a lie"
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#55
Using Your Kid To Market MLM
Motivated sloth 7 months ago
So does he drink bottled water that’s full of microplastics? Or did he order himself a the best water filter he could find after doing exhaustive research?
Binky Melnik 7 months ago
My three-year-old says your six-year-old is full of s**t. And microplastics.
Dangerous Dave 7 months ago
Has he educated himself yet on the morality of being used as a prop in a Kangen Water Machine marketing campaign?
Crystalwitch60 7 months ago
If he was in uk in a hard water area I’d agree on the tap water it is gross unless it’s put in the fridge for two days ice cold n left to stand even then it’s debatable
#56
Double Your Male Membership With This One Simple Trick
Veronica Jean 7 months ago
I would not wear a loose fitting pants to the gym for anything, but that's probably because when I'm there I actually work out and jump around intensely instead of sitting on the bench staring at my phone so I can lift that one weight a total of five times in an hour. So you can't go by me.
Sheena Leversedge Wood 6 months ago
seems unlikely. I can believe men cancelling their memberships if the women were no longer allowed to wear revealing clothes, however.
Atom Bohr 7 months ago (edited)
That's not what a 100% increase means. A 100% increase means to add the same again, or double it. If there were 50 men, then 100% of 50 is 50. So 50+50 is 100, or double the original. I still don't believe the poster, but his maths is possible
Load More Replies... #57
I’ll Be Dammed!
Ms.GB 7 months ago (edited)
I gave money to a woman with a baby who was begging in front of Walmart. I saw her there the next time and she was trying to ask others for help but this guy out of nowhere screams "" Don't give her any money, she drives a Mercedes!" I guess I'd rather be wrong and feel stupid than to have not helped a little if she really was struggling to care for the baby. It was definitely a real baby.
Binky Melnik 7 months ago
Apparently, if you drive a Mercedes, you have endless food because I gather from this post that they require neither gas nor maintenance. (I’m not sure why someone with a fake baby or a Mercedes doesnt get hungry, though; perhaps some kind soul will explain it for us.) I’m with you: keep helping. It’s mortifying asking for food; people don’t do it if they aren’t hungry.
Load More Replies... LinkTheHylian 7 months ago
Fellow Brits: Anyone else remember the story of the old man who punched a baby in the face while the mother was shopping, and his defence was "it looked like a doll"? This story reminded me of that. https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-manchester-38079322
KieLeaHar 6 months ago
What the actual fúck!!! He was fined £900 and ordered to pay £500 costs and £100 compensation. Really!!??? Driving offences get longer in prison for that!! UNFUCKINGBELIVEVABLE!!!
Load More Replies... Uncle Schmickle 7 months ago
I've heard there's been a scam in Italy for many years involving dummy babies and pick pockets.
#58
Casually Bringing Out A Measuring Tape During A Dinner Party At A Colleague’s House
Catlady6000 7 months ago (edited)
I carry a tape measure. But then, I buy old furniture to restore and need to know how it will fit thru my doors,etc
Load More Replies... Sheena Leversedge Wood 6 months ago
a lot of people think they're taller than they are. trump thinks he's over 6ft. you see him next to other people of known heights, he's 5.10 at best, and that's in his high heels.
Cindy Brick 7 months ago
Is your ego reallly that threatened, that you must bring a tape measure along? And how does the fact that you're 5'11" prove ANYTHING??
#59
Then Everyone Cheered & Clapped
Binny Tutera 7 months ago
Sure. A business that accepts cash has NO change except quarters. And she was “stealing” that 5 cents for her employer.
XenoMurph 7 months ago
It's easy to run out of change in a cash business.
Load More Replies... #60
And Then Everybody Cried In Agreement
#61
Just Discovered This Sub And Remembered This Comment- This Is Gold
Confused Capybara 6 months ago
Reference to Persona 4, a video game that features a talking bear mascot named Teddy
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LinkTheHylian 7 months ago
You know what I do when I hear someone playing a song I like when we're both speeding down the highway? I match their speed and drive alongside so I can hear it too.
#62
Someone Posted This Screenshot On Instagram And It Had 300k Likes. People Believe Everything
Tom Hutcherson 3 months ago
And this one is, uh-oh, cyanide. And radioactive ☢️.
Load More Replies... Craig Boddys 7 months ago
Salt, not salt, not salt, not a rock, salt, this ones very moreish........ crack.
Stephanie Did It 7 months ago
Hey Professor, NoArt73 just took off his pants and licked someone's head again...
luci (he/fae) 7 months ago
i've never taken a geology course, but i'm pretty sure a final would both not have you identifying physical rocks (as opposed to identifying them based off of pics printed on the exam sheet) and would not allow you to lick live samples.
#63
I Don't Even Believe This Man Has Kissed Multiple Women
John Dilligaf 7 months ago
I can believe that women who kissed you never want to think of you again.
Neb 6 months ago
I think general harassment as well - they have to tell him they are no more lesbians, otherwise he doesn't allow them to leave.
Load More Replies... #64
What's A Taxi??
LinkTheHylian 7 months ago
TF is a Waymo? And before you come at me, my town is so small we don't even have Uber/Lyft, so that's how out of touch I am. Not my fault.
#65
Sleepover Kids Love Vance
LinkTheHylian 7 months ago
J.D. Vance and Ron DeSantis are... something I can't say anymore because it's very offensive but I can't use a tamer word to describe them.
Wild Cream 7 months ago
I need to know what brand he uses, it seems like it’s very waterproof after all the MAGA tears he cries on the daily 😂
Load More Replies... Veronica Jean 7 months ago
Yes, when I was growing up we slobbered over aging politicians over boy bands and celebrities..... definitely.
Roxy222uk 7 months ago
Yes, indeed, men in their forties were where it was at
Load More Replies... #66
And Then Her Friend Got The Delivery Guy Fired, Probably
Binky Melnik 7 months ago
Riiight. He told the police she was visiting her friend’s house and the police showed up because she was violating the law against … visiting friends’ houses? Riiight.
XenoMurph 7 months ago
He called the police because she didn't own the house and he suspected she was a burglar foolish enough to answer the door. Guessing the MAGA reference was because she was black. In the mind of a MAGA a black person must be a burglar, right?
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Carla Phillips 7 months ago
But why would a delivery person question who answered the door? I've done a c**p ton of deliveries during the last 5 or so years and I've never once asked a person who they were in relation to the person the order was for.
LinkTheHylian 7 months ago
I'd say that's not how the police do their jobs, but the "magas" suggests this is America, and the only job American police officers have is to reduce the number of innocent black people in the country without deporting them.
Stephanie Did It 7 months ago
If OP was home alone, how were they also at their friend's house?
#67
This Guy Knows What The Real Deal Is
Motivated sloth 7 months ago
Mike Jones also believes the earth is flat and everyone who was vaccinated now has a computer chip implanted in their body.
Wild Cream 7 months ago
Mine Jones believes in Jewish space lasers and evil scary democrats controlling hurricanes 😂
Load More Replies... #68
Ordered A Salad And They Gave Me 40 Nuggets 🤪
Carla Phillips 7 months ago
I thought the picture went with the title so I thought I was looking at individually wrapped nuggets.
turk 7 months ago
So, you stood there for like an hour (which is at least what this would take) waiting for what was supposed to be a soft drink? And never once asked what was taking so long which would have instantly cleared up the misunderstanding? What a flex.
nicholas nolan 7 months ago
I think it's supposed to be a DoorDash error.
Load More Replies... #69
Google Doctor Mom Knows Health Better
CD Mills 7 months ago
The second kidney stone I had, I knew EXACTLY what it was before I went to the ER. That is a 'particular' pain, in a set path, you can't forget. I've correctly diagnosed myself and others, not because I'm a medical savant but because I pay attention, check symptoms on the Mayo Clinic site, call my insurances On-call nurse, and don't act like a Jackwaggon when I say "I'm worried it could be - - - - -", or "- - - - - is going around, do you think it's that?". You should be informed about your own healthcare, but the Dr. is simply going to know more than you, that's why YOU GO TO THEM!
Binky Melnik 7 months ago
It’s always a good idea to mention recent illnesses/injuries when at the doctor’s/hospital, folks!
#71
There Is Absolutely 0% Chance This Person Works At A Bakery
Robert Beveridge 7 months ago
Considering some of the dumb stuff my daughter and I have had Buehler's staff write on birthday cakes over the years, the only thing I question about this is the penmanship.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 7 months ago
This was my birthday cake my mom got for me when I was turning 8 or 9. I can't even imagine what the bakery employee thought when my mom told them what she wanted written on it XD (As an aside, I started crying when I read the cake, and my mom tried passing it off as a joke, but I knew it was how she truly felt about me - I'm adopted and my older sister was her bio child, so I was definitely a second-class citizen in my mother's opinion.) bday_cake-...b5c10d.jpg 
Sheena Leversedge Wood 6 months ago
I can definitely see people getting a friend a cake with a message like that on it.
#72
Yeah Ok Buddy Keep Feeding Your Tesla
Jaya 7 months ago
This is the kind of joke I could make if I was in that situation, so I don't find this one unlikely at all.
#73
Sure Buddy, Whatever You Say
Motivated sloth 7 months ago
Yea your story totally makes us forget all of the reports about people burning alive.
Wild Cream 7 months ago
The only thing I like about Teslas is that you can set your horn up to make fart noises hahaha
Sheena Leversedge Wood 6 months ago
ah yes, the same cars that fall apart if it rains because they used "the wrong glue" so panels just randomly drop off, and sometimes they catch fire for no good reason. and then raccoons try and get into them because they think it's a dumpster. THOSE cars.
Binky Melnik 7 months ago
Why didn’t the police finish their sentence? Or did your brain cause that? No matter; at least you didn’t burn to death!
#74
Stupid Doctors Don’t Know Their Crustaceans
Nikole 7 months ago
OP is saying that black people are stupid and/or illiterate.
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Carla Phillips 7 months ago
"Several prison like tattoos" they must come from the Yam tit's school of tattoo interpretation
#75
I"M So Famous!!
Binky Melnik 7 months ago
It’s definitely the most uncool thing ever. You’re the most uncool thing ever.
Stephanie Did It 7 months ago
Not cool at all; it was 9374 degrees! (The melting point of a rock is about 7800° F)
LinkTheHylian 7 months ago
It's uncool. LinkedIn is the Bing of social media. Or the Zune. Or MAGA. You get the idea.
#76
It’s True, The Perfume Clapped!
Binky Melnik 7 months ago
What is he saying? That he was gay before this? Or if it’s a girl, she was straight before this? I don’t get it. Maybe in context, it made sense (to the OP, if no one else)?
Wild Cream 7 months ago
I believe OP is a female and she’s saying that another girl liked her perfume and asked her on a date, so based on this one brief interaction she thinks she might like girls now 😅
Load More Replies... #77
Every 18 Year Old’s Most Pressing Issue, Taxes On Unrealized Gains
Alex Kennedy 7 months ago
Do they mean a deemed disposition? In that case, your ACB will change in any event, and you won’t pay the tax when you realise the gain. What’s the problem?
Wild Cream 7 months ago (edited)
The lack of education Trump voters have is the problem 😅 there’s a reason that having a higher education and IQ is closely associated with NOT voting for Trump
Load More Replies... Stephanie Did It 7 months ago
Interesting, as many 18 year olds struggle with how many dimes are in a dollar.
Neb 6 months ago
They might be afraid to say something else and simply complies to keep roof over the head.
Load More Replies... #78
Then RFK And Crew Stood Up And Clapped
Laura Lawson 7 months ago
'Rapid onset autism', is that even a thing?!? And the very person who started the whole vaccines cause autism story admitted HE MADE IT UP, yet idiots still spout this nonsense. Stupid people irritate the shite out of me.
Nikole 7 months ago
I focused on that too… No, it’s definitely not a thing.
Load More Replies... Yourlocalsnipergal 7 months ago (edited)
Why can't this idiotic myth just die? Bloody ableists
Glen Ellyn 7 months ago
If vaccines caused autism, wouldn't all of us who are vaccinated have autism??
Binky Melnik 7 months ago
Since you’re so smart, Steve, explain this: In places where there are no vaccines, why do the people get autism at the same rate as places that *do* have vaccines? Kinda sounds as if it’s not the vaccines, doesn’t it?
Caffeinated Ape 7 months ago
No no, it's completely true! The second practice doesn't have any cases of autism because their clients' children keep mysteriously expiring of preventable diseases! Can't be an autism statistic if you're no longer alive! /s
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What do you think ?
Nils Skirnir 7 months ago
Most of these sound as if they’ve been written by 3rd graders on smack. And apologies to 3rd graders
Doug Moyer 7 months ago
My favorite play on this style of cringe post was this (from @pastynigga): Went into Starbucks this morning. Paid for my order. Barista: “Merry… umm…” Me: “You don’t have to be afraid anymore… Because of Trump you can say it now.” Barista: (relieved) “Heil Hitler” And then everyone clapped.
Anastasia Beaverhausen 6 months ago
I get unnecessarily irritated every time I read about someone’s kid supposedly saying these amazingly profound things. Like listen here Stacie I’ve met little Eric and he eats paste, calm down.
Nils Skirnir 7 months ago
Most of these sound as if they’ve been written by 3rd graders on smack. And apologies to 3rd graders
Doug Moyer 7 months ago
My favorite play on this style of cringe post was this (from @pastynigga): Went into Starbucks this morning. Paid for my order. Barista: “Merry… umm…” Me: “You don’t have to be afraid anymore… Because of Trump you can say it now.” Barista: (relieved) “Heil Hitler” And then everyone clapped.
Anastasia Beaverhausen 6 months ago
I get unnecessarily irritated every time I read about someone’s kid supposedly saying these amazingly profound things. Like listen here Stacie I’ve met little Eric and he eats paste, calm down.
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