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Nothing can fully prepare you for the moment you give birth. It doesn’t matter how many books or articles you’ve read. Or whether or not you attended prenatal classes. Not all births are created equal. Some women describe theirs as a breeze. While others are still living with childbirth trauma, or physical pain and scars, years later. The truth is, you just don’t know what the universe is going to serve up the day you “pop” until it actually arrives. Whether Mother Nature will be kind or cruel.
Someone asked, "What are some gruesome facts about pregnancy/childbirth/postpartum that not many people know?" and moms who have been through the most didn't hold back. The post clocked up more than 8,000 comments, as people shared their own personal harrowing birthing stories, alongside the lesser-known facts they wish they'd been told earlier. Bored Panda has put together a list of the most hair-raising and jaw-dropping ones. Some might make you want to pass out. But keep scrolling for yet more proof that women truly were built to be warriors.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Labor does not automatically start if you lose the baby. You can try to induce but sometimes it just takes time.
You can opt for a c-section, but surgery when it doesn't affect the life of the baby is not always the best option
I was wandering around 8 and half months pregnant for for two weeks before the induction "took".
Until then it was checking into the hospital, blood work, induction, contractions, then nothing. Go back home, rest a few days, try again.
Fully pregnant, planning for after- will there be a burial? Cremation? What clothes should baby wear?
And of course, people still asking when I'm due and such.
Even the blood work lady asked about the baby all happy. The maternity blood person wS busy so they sent me to the regular hospital area. She wouldn't stop asking boy or girl? When's the big day? I figured vagues answers while pointing to my paperwork would clue her in. It did not.
She was like - you don't seem very excited.
Seriously, maybe I was a suragate, or putting it up for adoption, why did she assume it was all happiness and rainbows?
But planning a funeral for a baby while still pregnant was awful.
And the birth was difficult, it was a dry birth of course ( meaning no water in the sack so more difficult and higher infection risk)
I also broke my tailbone pushing. I don't know why, but something about that part felt extra unfair.
The Short Lady 8 months ago
Now, in many US states, inducing labor for a dead baby before it's due date would be considered abortion.
Betsy S 8 months ago
True. Any interference is considered abortion. They are clueless and insensitive MONSTERS!
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Lavender Myst 8 months ago
For some, induction is the safest way. I had to be induced after no signs of heart beat at the beginging of the last month when all he had left to do was baby fat. But something happened with the cord is best guess.. it was my first and mynoption for a C section was not advised due to increesing the likelyhood of then needing a c section again id i tried again, over a more natural birth. Natural birth is suppsed to be inherently easier on the body, it sucks a lot, and now in some state in the US, induction for even a dead child is being considered late term abort.... and illegal. Those poor mothers having to forcibly carry what they know to be their deadnlottle one is way worse. I would take the induction over unessacary abdominal surgery, or forced to carry till i die from internal infection.. the mindfuc☆. Its a horror show no matter how you slice it. At least with induction there is pain treatment and less recovery time physically.
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Flexi Panda 8 months ago
I think this must be the hardest thing anyone can ever endure. To have no joy after painful labor is just heartbreaking. I'm so sorry
Behind the baby showers, Insta-worthy birth announcements, and professional newborn photo shoots lies a whole other world. One that's not spoken about a lot. Birth is often painted in soft pastels, and the less-than-happy moments are primered over to make room for celebration.
Many women across the world silently endure physical and psychological challenges. They smile, or grin and bear it. Because that's what they're expected to do, despite just having gone through a process that can be messy, painful, risky, and even traumatizing.
But more moms are choosing to speak up. Like those on this list. They're sharing the cold, hard truths about pregnancy and childbirth. A lot of it you aren't taught at school, or even in prenatal classes...
RELATED:
#2
This entire thread solidifies my selfishness when it comes to not having children.
I can barely control my body now, why would I FORCE this change on myself.
All you mamas are f*****g warriors.
Lila Allen 8 months ago
Having a baby should definitely be a 100% I am all in and aware of the risks kind of choice. No one should do this unless they really really really want to.
Not-a-Clue (she/her) 8 months ago
I went through my pregnancy in blissful ignorance aged 20. Now I know the possible risks, dangers etc I would be terrified of having another one. I was 28 when I was sterilised and am nearly 59 now (and well past menopause) so the chances are probably zero, but I still occasionally worry about it!
CatD 8 months ago
I had my tubes tied after my second because I got pregnant the first time on the pill, and after being so careful with cóndoms, our daughter was a bathtub baby.
Load More Replies...We've come a long way with science and medicine. Nowadays, you can see your baby's features in 4D long before they're born. Doctors can detect diseases, defects and disorders during pregnancy. They can even perform surgery on a baby while in the womb.
In 2024, Kourtney Kardashian Barker revealed that she underwent urgent fetal surgery in September 2023. And it saved her son's life. “Baby Rocky had to have fetal surgery for fluid in his lung, and it’s super rare, the condition that he had, but it's also super rare and lucky that we caught it," she said.
#3
The US has the highest maternal death rate of any developed country, and it’s rising. But yeah, abortion is the problem.
David 8 months ago
Not exactly, if you go by during birth, we are the upper end of the middle of the pack, it is the 1 year mortality rate that we are the worst. When you take in the death rate up to 1 year post birth, we are the highest. Remove su icide from PPD, and we fall quite a bit. We also have a higher 3week-3 month post pregnancy death rate from internal damage that goes undetected because we have poor post-natal care.
Betsy S 8 months ago
All in all the U.S. does a pi-ss poor job of taking care of mothers and babies during and after the birth process. I guess once the baby is born, it's not important anymore, and we all know the mother is/was never important. So once it's no longer a pregnancy all parties can go to H-ell I guess. Yay, the U.S!
Load More Replies...But despite all the advances in modern medicine, women are still dying while giving birth. Way too many women. The World Health Organization (WHO) has raised the alarm, warning that "maternal mortality is unacceptably high."
According to the organization, around 260 000 women died during and following pregnancy and childbirth in 2023. To put it into sharp context, one mom-to-be died almost every 2 minutes that year. And most of those deaths could have been prevented.
#4
Postpartum depression is extremely dangerous and can last for months after their birth. After my twins were born my wife had a complete personality change. She became s******l, and at times a*****e to me. At one point she ran away from home. I found her two states away. Her brother had to bring her home. Things got really, really bad. The twins are 5 now and she's the person I married again. She doesn't like to talk about those times. The only thing she'll say is it was the darkest time in her entire life.
Jorie 8 months ago
My unplanned pregnancy happened when I was 18. I had suffered with depression my entire life and the postpartum depression was horrendous. To be honest, I never felt the same after giving birth. I am now 72. If you suffer from depression, please think carefully about having a baby.
TTorrest Author 8 months ago
Scariest part is, the new mom might not even be aware she's depressed. *raises hand*
Lila Allen 8 months ago
Oh I fully didn't. I have a masters in psychology and you'd think I'd see it, but nope... not until I had a full on postpartum psychotic episode did anyone realize something was wrong.
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DennyS (denzoren) 8 months ago
I've seen the effects of this and it's really scary to see it happen to someone.
Big Chungus 8 months ago
I have read that the body goes through hormonal changes similar to if you took 100 bc pills a day and suddenly stopped. The first two weeks I couldn't stop crying and you feel soooo strange and not yourself. Those of us lucky enough will snap out of it when the hormones balance, others will need more help
Roshan Kassan 4 months ago
my ex went through it and flat out refused treatment. Mental health is a non-negotiable.
#5
The leading cause of death in pregnant and postpartum women in the US is homicide.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 8 months ago
And pregnancy and birth itself is a leading cause of death in women, even in a "medically advanced" country like the US :(
StrangeOne 8 months ago
If only there was services for domestic violence intervention at the clinic. The amount of times men demand to be in the room during exams is unnecessary.
Not-a-Clue (she/her) 8 months ago
In the UK all midwives are trained to ask about domestic violence at a point where they are alone with the woman.
Load More Replies... #6
The placenta is the size of a plate and leaves an internal open wound that size that also needs to heal
Edited to add: the responses and shock to this make me really angry about the level of maternal education and care that is being given.
StrangeOne 8 months ago (edited)
YES, and men NEED to understand and respect that new mothers NEED to fully heal and be ready for s*x on their own terms. NOT be forced to submit s*x just because the man is h***y. The men can get themselves off until she's ready. Got it?
Earonn - 8 months ago
One of the best pro-abortion arguments I've heard was from a woman who needed to get an illegal abortion. The doctor performed the abortion then immediately r***d her. After all, what was she supposed to do? Had she had access to legal abortion, that wouldn't have happened.
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Lila Allen 8 months ago
PS it's also an actual internal organ. Yes when pregnant a woman spontaneously creates an entirely new internal organ, uses it for the duration of the pregnancy, then expels it after giving birth which can cause bleeding and death.
CatD 8 months ago
My doctor had to do an emergency D&C after my daughter was born because there were pieces left. Just reached in with a curette and SCRAPE SCRAPE SCRAPE! Hurt more than giving birth!
Load More Replies... Not-a-Clue (she/her) 8 months ago
To be fair, I've given birth and had no idea it was quite that big! I was probably too drugged-up at the time to notice!
UnicornCow🦄 4 months ago
Or it gets torn when the placenta gets taken out a bit rough like mine did...I had to get stitches everywhere...(had 3rd degree tears as well)
Elizabethe Carlisle 6 months ago (edited)
If COVID-19 taught us anything it's that we can't believe one word of what the Chinese Communist Party, oops, I mean the World Health Organization says.
CatD 8 months ago
Tell you what. You try to pass an 8 pound 21 inch around túrd, then you can say something.
Load More Replies...WHO says women are dying due to complications during and following pregnancy and childbirth. "Most of these complications develop during pregnancy and most are preventable or treatable," notes the site. "Other complications may exist before pregnancy but are worsened during pregnancy, especially if not managed as part of the woman’s care."
Some of the major complications include severe bleeding (mostly bleeding after childbirth), infections (usually after childbirth), high blood pressure during pregnancy (pre-eclampsia and eclampsia), complications from delivery and unsafe abortions.
#7
Gruesome adjacent- you can save your placenta and donate it to the training of cadaver dogs!
The dogs need human tissue in order to train and a placenta is a huge donation as medical specimens can be costly.
All I did was email/ call a local search and rescue team in my area and ask if they would accept my donation. They were very grateful!
So I brought a small cooler with my to the hospital and let my staff know and then I kept in on ice till I was discharged and then in the freezer till the dog trainer came to pick it up. I even got a pic with the dogs it would train.
Earonn - 8 months ago
Oh, that's such a great use for it! I really wonder why that's not something expectant parents are informed about "Hey, as for the birth, here are things that can be done with the placenta, would you consider donating yours for one? just put an X behind the cause you'd like to support (and if not, that's fine, it's a donation ).
Spittnimage 8 months ago
Better than eating it, which I've heard some mothers do.
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Horosho Bodka 8 months ago
I am a member of a K9 SAR team, and this is 100% accurate and we are VERY grateful for these donation. We have an arrangement with several local hospitals to get unwanted placenta, as well as tissue from liposuctions.
marianne eliza 8 months ago
Former SAR K9 handler in CA. People used to ask me what was in the PVC tubes in the freezer.
Load More Replies... Roshan Kassan 4 months ago
If i am not mistaken, placenta may also have stem cells? Also worth donating for that purpose
Aline Vargas 8 months ago
Nice to do that, those dogs have a very important job and, placentas go to garbage anyway.
#8
My wife's placenta wouldn't detach after the birth of our daughter, so the nurse just went up in there and got it out. I was oohing and aahing over our new baby girl and I look over to see someone d**n near elbow-deep treating my wife like a sock puppet. It was so jarring. Mothers are so d**n tough dude, it's unreal.
Joke Vermote 4 months ago
my placenta was disformed with both my daughters, so they had to do that twice
Sheena Leversedge Wood 7 months ago
my mum said one of the nurses wrapped the cord around her arm and yanked the placenta out (incomplete, which led to haemorhaging)
Beth Wheeler 8 months ago
Sick puppet... OMG. I'm dying laughing at that. It also would have hurt like hell unless she had an epidural.
Lila Allen 8 months ago
Hey it is what it is. My husband had to pin my shoulders so they could get my oldest out.
#9
You can do everything 'right' (no d***s, no alcohol, all the right prenatals, no sushi no cookie dough, proper water intake) and still be staring at the 20 week ultrasound in shock after the nurse tells you there is a birth defect
Completely out of left field for me, felt like my world was crashing down. Proud to say he was born with a cleft lip, operated at 6 months, and at 2.5 years he's in speech therapy, seeing a nutritionist but otherwise a healthy and happy boy.
StrangeOne 8 months ago (edited)
My mom told me that if there were any birth defects she would automatically blame me. I was eating healthy and taking vitamins, too. My daughter has a developmental delay/intellectual disability and stunted growth. My mom hasn't muttered one word about it being my fault, but what she said back then still stings. Why do people do this to mothers?
Lila Allen 8 months ago
Hey it can happen after pregnancy too. My youngest was completely typical met all milestones until he was 3. And at first they thought it was just a correctable thing. But it got worse and after 4 years of testing we discovered he has IRF2BPL related disorder( one of 40 kids in the whole world) and he has lost everything. He's bed bound, tube fed, and dying. Life can change in an instant. Still wouldn't trade him for anything. He's my wild boy.
Beth Wheeler 8 months ago
Oh that poor baby going through that. I can't even imagine the pain your family is going through as his disease progresses. I wish I could give you a big hug and a dry shoulder.
Load More Replies... Ruth Watry 8 months ago
Friend went in for an anatomy scan at 20 weeks and 6 days, and there was no heartbeat
KnightOwl86 8 months ago
This happened to 2 of my cousins. One of them had it happen twice (both times at 20wks,) after 10 years of infertility and IVF. The first time she lost twin boys, almost exactly a year later she lost a little girl. She gave up on ever being a mother after that, not wanting to face the heartbreak again, 4yrs later she got pregnant naturally and went on to have her rainbow baby, he's 5 now.
Load More Replies...Behind the smiles of new moms sometimes lie deep scars. A 2022 study published in the journal BMC Pregnancy and Childbirth found that 1 in 3 women described their birth as traumatic. "Birth trauma is any wound or damage that happens as a result of childbirth. Although trauma can be physical, such as a birth-related injury, it can also be psychological or emotional," explains Medical News Today.
#10
Passing clots the size of rocks. And bleeding for weeks after.
Beth Wheeler 8 months ago
My niece was induced and they waited to long after they broke her water and she went into the OR with a fever because of an infection that was their fault. She had clots the size of dinner plates and and to have injections for blood thinners. The baby was released to her mother after 2 weeks and my niece was released a couple of weeks later and had to do the injections herself. Her next baby she went to a different OB group and hospital.
#11
About month 7 I told my husband I could feel my skin expanding all over my body. Arms, belly, back, b***s. He had the audacity to chuckle and say, “I don’t think so, you know it’s hormones” 😡 I told him if he said the word hormones again in the next 2-8 months I would smash his head in the oven door and then bake his liver.
Yeah, hormones WILL have you saying some weird s**t. But I was deadly serious.
Kim Kermes 8 months ago
The only appropriate and safe response to any complaint from an expectant mother is Gee, I m so sorry! How awful! Is there anything I can do? And you were being charitable to offer to k i l l him before removing his liver. And I've never been pregnant. I think marsupials have the right idea.
Earonn - 8 months ago
Men are so used that they can use s**t like this to devaluate what a woman says that they don't even notice anymore what a f****d up thing it is.
Lila Allen 8 months ago
Dad on AITA complaining his wife wanted to stop breast feeding because it was " cheap and easy" when asked to tally how many hours a day his wife spent with someone physically attached to her and told about how she was making her own bones brittle leaching calcium for the baby and the pain of mastitis... he decided to apologize and support her.
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Nika Strokappe 3 months ago
I bet he did not say the word hormones again. Like ever, just to be sure 😂
KnightOwl86 8 months ago (edited)
My sister used to threaten to stab her partner when he said cruel things to her during her first pregnancy. He was a very toxic guy and she mostly ignored his red flags because 'love is blind'. (We come from a scottish city known to have a violent history, especially when it comes to knife crimes, he is english and they were living in his home city) he would constantly joke about knife crimes and stabbings before she got pregnant so when she first joked about it and he looked terrified she continued doing it to shut him up. She left him when she was pregnant with their second child (he was horrible and mentally a*****e and started openly saying he hated Scottish people, despite her being Scottish!)
Heather Mckeith 3 months ago
Glaswegian I'm guessing? We don't have a good rep
Load More Replies... #12
Sometimes it takes *weeks* to be able to stand up / sit down / walk again without a ton of pain.
No one f*****g told me that the first time. I was so focused on how the actual birth might be painful, had no realization that for over a month afterwards I'd be in danger of burning to death if the house ever caught fire because I could barely walk.
StrangeOne 8 months ago
YES. The nurses even tried making me walk from the recovery room to the maternity ward, which seemed a long a*s mile away. They didn't believe me when I said I couldn't feel my legs because most of the epidural stuff went to my lower body. That is, until I nearly keeled over getting off the bed. Why do hospitals treat their patients like this?
Beth Wheeler 8 months ago (edited)
Those nurses were idiots. You should have been in bed until you were moved to your room and the epidural had completely worn off. I had to have a C-section both times, 1 at night and the other early afternoon. They didn't have me walk until the next day with the 1st baby and that night with the other one.
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Tina Russell 8 months ago
Had that happen too. After birth, legs numb from the epidural and expected to walk. As for nurses, they have no compassion. Those with compassion quit nursing many decades ago.
Sunny Day 8 months ago
My mom gave birth in an Army hospital in 1963 (Dad in Army). They didn't bring food to the rooms, you had to go to the cafeteria to eat. So at meal times there would be a line of ladies from the maternity ward shuffling down the hall, clutching a bed pillow to sit on.
Betsy S 8 months ago
Some hospital. What about amputees? Did they have to get to the cafeteria too?
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Anna Drever 8 months ago
I had a split symphysis for births 1 and 3. So that was fun. Highly recommend a symphysis belt to hold stuff together while you heal.
Not-a-Clue (she/her) 8 months ago
I'd never heard of this, had to look it up, and Yikes! I'm really glad I didn't know this was a thing when I was pregnant.
Load More Replies... KnightOwl86 8 months ago (edited)
Everyone talks about the birth but it's very rare to hear women talk about what happens after. I had a lot of friends get pregnant young and they all said they had no idea what to expect after the baby was born. I remember sitting around with a group of 8 new mums all aged 17/18 talking about this stuff and was shocked at how much they were dealing with and how little they knew before the birth. Most were stunned at the amount of blood and clots and annoyed by people expecting them to just bounce back like they weren't recovering from a huge trauma. The hormone fluctuations and mood swings were openly mocked by people around them. The one that shocked most of them was the cramps and pains in the weeks following the birth, noone ever talks about them and they can be debilitating.
According to the study, many of the women polled met the criteria for Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), displaying symptoms like flashbacks, anxiety, emotional numbness, and difficulty bonding with the baby. A separate paper noted that many patients said they'd experienced trauma even when their childbirth outcomes were described as “routine” by clinicians.
#13
1st trimester miscarriages are way more common than most people think. 1 in 4 pregnancies terminate before 3 months.
StrangeOne 8 months ago
This is why you let the women wait to announce a pregnancy when she feels she's ready.
Jelena Putinja 7 months ago
old people in Croatia say that you shouldn't say to anyone before 3m pass - I always wandered why until it started to be popular to say it right away and hearing more and more about early miscarriages
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Heir of Durin 8 months ago (edited)
I’ve had three over the past 14 years. So hard to work through both emotionally and physically. ❤️
#14
The feeling of your organs going back down after they were cramped up for so long is a bit frightening. Especially the lungs. Standing up I could feel like they were weighted down.
People talk about c*****d nipples and painful latching while discussing breastfeeding but nobody talks about your uterus contracting during the first days of it.
Sunny Day 8 months ago
OK. Ch-app-ed is censored, but nipples is not. Do they just censor random words now? Ooh, there's word #158 on the page - censor it!
Learner Panda 4 months ago
One preference for breastfeeding is that it helps the uterus go back to its new normal.
Cynthia Simmons 7 months ago
And nobody tells you about the "cramping" during breast feeding that happens because of that whole n****e/uterus connection.
Beth Wheeler 8 months ago
I was in 2 much pain from the C-sections to notice any other pain if I had any.
#15
PTSD as a result of a difficult birth is surprisingly more common than you think.
I still suffer symptoms even now and my daughter is now 10.
StrangeOne 8 months ago (edited)
It was so bad for me, the topic is hard for me to talk about and now lay into a full on rant 23 years later. It was violating and I felt threatened by hospital staff. It's so bad I haven't had a gyno appt. in 22 years. "It shouldn't hurt this bad by now." Was the last thing was said to me.
amy lee 8 months ago
All the information they leave out, debilitating tears, birth injury so bad it results in hysterectomy, risk of paralysis etc etc feels so misleading. I have always said loads of ppd sounds more like PTSD. And we're all expected to grin and bear it.
Load More Replies... Tina Russell 8 months ago
They treat you very badly while having a difficult birth this resulting in PTSD and then call PTSD postpartum depression.
Fire Singer 8 months ago
I knew a woman who had to have her hip broken to give birth "naturally" because she was so small. I couldn't imagine going through that let alone half of what other women have done!
#16
Was visiting a friend after she came home from the hospital with her newborn. Asked how it went and she said something like 'it really hurt when they stretched me'. I (a clueless male) had no idea what she was talking about so I was like 'what do you mean?'.
She explained it, stretching it is a lot better than tearing during the delivery etc. My brain tried to compute what she was saying and when it clicked, I nearly passed out. Women are tough.
Same person, experienced PPD although we didn't know it at the time. Was again visiting her a few weeks later and she said something to the effect of 'I want to throw this baby at the wall'. I played it cool and took the baby and told her to go have some 'me' time, but I was freaking out internally. I called my mother, who she had never met before, to come over, and she dropped what she was doing to come help this stranger. My mother is a saint.
At the same time I also called her parents who lived a few hours away and told them they needed to come up ASAP. Everything turned out ok but it was a lot for ~20yo me to deal with.
Lila Allen 8 months ago
Definitely a great friend who may have saved a life or two that day by recognizing something was truly wrong.
Load More Replies... #17
The only way I could possibly pee was in the shower with warm water running over me.
I didn't poop for a week after. When I finally did I was so excited I called my boyfriend at work to tell him about it.
Your b***s will leak. they'll also go hard as rocks if you don't massage them or express some milk out.
Breastfeeding at first can really hurt.
StrangeOne 8 months ago
My mom bought me a sitz bath. It's like a bidet that goes over the toilet and you pump water through it as you pee, so your urine isn't burning your stitches.
Dove Bradshaw 7 months ago
For both of my children I used a pitcher as i PPPPeed :/
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Roberta Surprenant 8 months ago
Back in 75 I wasn't discharged from hospital until I pooped (3 days). In 79 I was released less than 24 hours post partum.
Elizabethe Carlisle 6 months ago
The business model for hospitals was being transitioned to a more aggressive profit centered model at the same time lobbyists were creating legislation that gave insurance agencies (big Pharma in drag) more control and far less liability. It was the beginning of the convergence of Wall Street, big Pharma and the A.M.A, a truly unholy trinity.
Load More Replies... Beth Wheeler 8 months ago
Breast pump to use if the baby doesn't either latch on or drink enough or early morning if the baby isn't awake yet and you can't wait any longer.
#18
Post-delivery hemorrhaging is extremely common and extremely dangerous. If any of the placenta gets left behind in the uterus, it will cause the uterus to not "shut down" blood flow.
In the case of my wife, it was two hours after delivery that she started to not feel well. The nurse came in and pushed on her belly, followed by an absolute explosion of blood everywhere. She had been bleeding internally for over two hours without anyone realizing. She lost over two liters of blood, requiring transfusions. The only way they could get it stopped is the OB going elbow deep into my unmedicated wife to manually sweep out her uterus by hand. It took us probably 6 months to get over the trauma of that experience.
Had she not been in a hospital, she would be dead.
Think twice before delivering anywhere besides a hospital. Childbirth is extremely traumatic and the risks of serious consequences is very high even in situations where you are low risk. You want to have that baby under the same roof as a stocked blood bank and an operating room.
Lila Allen 8 months ago
Also the risk for postpartum stroke is SUPER high and no one tells you if you have headaches, pounding head, dizziness, or swelling in extremities to RUSH back to the hospital. Sudden dangerously high postpartum eclampsia is the number one cause of maternal death postpartum.
Beth Wheeler 8 months ago
A lady I work with, it happened to her best friend and was disabled and bedridden for the 20 ish years that she lived after.
Load More Replies... #19
Not gruesome but postnatal depression is literally the worst thing I’ve experienced in my life. It’s been 5 years since I had my last one and I’m still struggling now. No amount of help has worked from the doctors ( I have no help from anyone else) i wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy….. I don’t even know who I am anymore, all I wanted was to meet the love of my life and be a mum. and now i look in the mirror and don’t recognise myself, my body isn’t mine anymore and i can’t think of a worse fate than to have another child. Don’t get wrong I love my kids but if I knew what was coming I wouldn’t have put myself through this.
Lee Gilliland 8 months ago
And they don't warn you, yet over 50% of women have this to some extent.
#20
If you have an ectopic pregnancy in Idaho prepare to die. That’s the sad truth as of a few days ago.
Jumping Jellyfishes 8 months ago
This is incorrect. "Idaho law recognizes ectopic pregnancies as a medical emergency warranting specific legal exceptions. These pregnancies occur when a fertilized egg implants outside the uterus, often in a fallopian tube, posing severe health risks, including internal bleeding. Medical intervention in such cases is permitted without being classified as an unlawful abortion."
sock man 8 months ago
Tell that to the poor soul waiting at the counter for someone intelligent enough to interpret these b*llshit laws
Load More Replies... Elizabethe Carlisle 6 months ago
You border Oregon. You can have an abortion in Oregon up to the delivery date.
#21
Hyperemesis Gravidarum.. Terrible. I lost 50lbs during my pregnancy from it.
Anna Drever 8 months ago (edited)
Had a minor version of something like that. Sick for the first 2 trimesters (and lost weight) but came right on the third. As bad as I felt I’m sure it was nothing compared to others who’ve gone through the real deal.
CatD 8 months ago
I lost 10 pounds at the beginning of my first pregnancy. Not fun.
Load More Replies... Beth Wheeler 8 months ago
My niece had that with her boys and was in the hospital a couple of times with both of them. She went home with a central line and home health nurses taking care of it. Her OB/GYN said she shouldn't have any more babies. They had an uh oh that's a girl and she had no morning sickness with her at all
Otto Katz 8 months ago
Hyperemesis Gavidarum is not morning sickness. It's a whole other animal. https://www.hyperemesis.org/about-hyperemesis-gravidarum/
Load More Replies... #22
The thing that frightens me the most is pelvic floor issues. Imagine suddenly no longer being able to control when you pee.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 8 months ago
Heck, I sometimes pee when I sneeze or laugh and I've never even been pregnant XD Just middle-aged!
LauraDragonWench 7 months ago
Same - never been pregnant and I occasionally pee when I sneeze/cough too hard. Pantyliners have become a necessity. However, Kegel exercises really help - I've been doing them for a couple of decades and know I would be in so much worse shape without them.
Load More Replies... StrangeOne 8 months ago
This has been an issue for life now. I know I should be wearing Depends, or at least a panty liner. I'm still in denial but know it's a reality for me.
GenuineJen 8 months ago
And it's not just peeing when you sneeze, run, etc... weak pelvic floor muscles are *painful* too.
#23
Nobody warned me that my insides would feel like they were falling out when I stood up the first few days after birth.
Lila Allen 8 months ago
Every woman should be told to bring oversized control top underwear to hold your insides in
CatD 8 months ago (edited)
I had a tubal right after my daughter was born, so I was walking sideways like a crab with my hand on my belly for two weeks.
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#25
If you have to use the toliet and vomit, sit on the toliet and puke into the trash can.
You might need to poop while breastfeeding. Like, in the middle of it. Sit on the toliet and do your business while the kid feeds. This will not be the weirdest experience while parenting.
Francesca Annoni 8 months ago
I often had lunch while breastfeeding, I put the nursing pillow (the c-shaped one), I covered him with a napkin as if it were a sheet for the crumbs and I ate comfortably
#26
They go full crazy pushing your stomach after birth to make sure everything is out. I read some books but no one prepared me for that. It was like having another baby.
StrangeOne 8 months ago
Wouldn't the mother know everything is out? What are they trying to accomplish here?
Sarah Kathrin Matsoukis 8 months ago
The placenta mostly, it's dangerous to leave parts in and no you don't feel it, you're so in pain and exhausted some chunks of placenta are not on your radar.
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#27
Currently pregnant.
Have pregnancy rhinitis, which is effectively like a cold caused by being pregnant.
Also have morning sickness.
Have you ever had uncontrollable sneezing while blowing chunks?
Not bucket list worthy, I promise.
Anna Drever 8 months ago
Post nasal drip in the first pregnancy. Not the other two thank goodness. Basically swallowing snot. All day, every day. For months….
Lila Allen 8 months ago
Oh I do hope someone told her that those allergies might be permanent. Some moms develop allergies in pregnancy then remain allergic to them going forward.
Kay Lyn Evans 8 months ago
Yup! I got a runny nose during pregnancy, and it never went away! Daughter turns 20 next week.
#28
A short time before you give birth (anywhere from 1 to a few days before), you will pass a "mucus plug" which is basically a giant loogie that dislodges from your cervix and falls out of your v****a. Somehow it's even grosser than you would think.
When you birth your baby, you also birth the placenta. When the placenta detaches from the uterine wall, it leaves a raw gaping wound the size of a dinner plate that bleeds for weeks. Make sure you have lots of LARGE maxi pads on hand.
Everything smells like old ham for basically the entire first trimester and makes you constantly feel like you're about to vomit. It's like a hangover that lasts for weeks or months. Even things you loved the smell of before, now smell like the dirty coins from your grandpa's car's cup holder. Some lucky women have this through their whole pregnancy, along with the resulting nausea and vomiting.
Your baby will come home with a huge gnarly scab attached to their bellybutton. My boyfriend wasn't prepared for this one, apparently he thought that cutting the umbilical cord made it somehow detach from the baby right then and there. Nope. Big chunk of it stays behind, but will dry up over a number of days and eventually fall off.
StrangeOne 8 months ago (edited)
The bellybutton is a scar. Also, it's still debated, but people are starting to realize that it's possible the baby can feel the umbilical cord being cut, and it's particularly painful. I've seen videos of newborn getting the cord cut. They're quiet and then start screaming really loud and frantic once the cord is cut and the clamp is put on. There are nerves in the cord. Some don't believe this, thinking the baby is just crying over the sound of the clamp. But the baby starts screaming before the clamp is snapped.
Atom Bohr 8 months ago
We believed until surprisingly recently that babies couldn't feel pain at all. Why, now that we know better, would we assume the umbilical cord is an exception to that?
Load More Replies... Beth Wheeler 8 months ago
Not everybody has all of those problems. I was lucky and only had about 6 weeks of mild morning sickness.
Ruth Watry 8 months ago
I had to take care of that with my baby sister when I was 6 (decades ago, mom had health issues and I was oldest daughter). Wiped with alcohol until if fell off.
Malide 🇵🇸 🇺🇦 8 months ago
I'm sorry you were forced into that position at such a young age as you obviously couldn't be expected to know, but for all the actual adults out there it is important to note that that is not the recommended method.
Load More Replies... CatD 8 months ago
Didn't have a mucus plug with either of my kids, but needed the placenta broken on both, apparently they were very thick.
Anita Broome 3 months ago
You needed the amniotic sac broken. They definitely don't want the placenta broken
Load More Replies... #29
Can’t believe this hasn’t been mentioned- hemorrhoids. Often women don’t know they have them from labor due to the swelling, but add it to the list 😩.
Betsy S 8 months ago
Some pregnancy hemorrhoids get so bad they require surgery, even while still pregnant. That is the most excruciating pain as being pregnant there is little they can do for pain relief post-surgery in an extremely nerve-rich area. Then you have labour to look forward to, just to rip out all the dozens of stitches they just put in you.
Tina Russell 8 months ago
Was laughed at when I complained about the pain from hemorrhoids that resulted from me having to push for many hours to turn my daughter from face up to face down.
#30
If you have hyperemesis gravida, you can throw up so hard that you break blood vessels in your cervix. Thought I was losing my twins but it was just the effects of puking 30-70x/day. Did that for 5 months, while sitting on my couch hooked up to an IV.
Lila Allen 8 months ago
Plus the whole can't stop vomiting for hours on end and you can end up with aspirational pneumonia because of it.
#31
Contractions don’t finish after labour. You have the after birth pains to look forward to when your uterus returns to its usual pre pregnancy size.
The Short Lady 8 months ago
Unless you had a Caesarian. Then breast feeding makes the contractions very painful.
Load More Replies... #32
The most terrifying thing to me of this post is that none of this info is taught to us. We’re kept in the dark intentionally. That is horrifying.
Not-a-Clue (she/her) 8 months ago
I'm convinced it's intentional. Much of this is news to me at 58 and having been through a pregnancy. If we had to do the same informed consent procedure like before a surgery when they have to give you all the possible outcomes, I'm convinced no one would voluntarily get pregnant.
Isabella K 8 months ago
I don't think it is intentionally. I think it is because we don't have thight social circles anymore were your trusted older sister or mother or grandmother gives you infos. But then are there the horror stories i just don't want to hear either... so i think i am good with not knowing everything.
Jumping Jellyfishes 8 months ago (edited)
They threw a free "pregnancy manual" at me when I first got pregnant that revealed and explained a lot of this stuff. Everyone I knew had one.
Tom De Paul 8 months ago
Why would you presume intentionality? Google is a thing as are libraries. At 17 I had a hernia; I did research. At 39 I had an ulnar nerve transposition. I did research. I'm 63 and all the skin on my lower extremities started peeling. I did research. Take ownership of your body and learn how it works.
CatD 8 months ago
No Google when I was pregnant, and the baby books I read didn't mention anything bad either.
Load More Replies... #33
While pregnant, the baby can separate your ribs. And yes, it is unbearable.
Also, a healthy person with a healthy pregnancy can lose their life giving birth. I almost died giving birth to both my kids despite having no prior issues, from hemorrhaging blood for hours. Two emergency blood transfusions and I barely made it out alive.
BoredPangolin 8 months ago
This. Healthy too, almost died during second childbirth from complications and blood loss.
Lila Allen 8 months ago
Had HELLP syndrome almost died due to liver function dropping to 22%. Second kid came super early and ended up as an emergency c section that due to complications severed most of my abdominal nerves. We don't talk about this enough so the Hollywood version where you push a bit and pop is seen as real. It's not. Most women end up with serious permanent changes.
Ruth Watry 8 months ago
I have a friend (amniotic aneurism) and acquaintance (fetus d1ed of RSV at 6 months, and she d1ed of RSV delivering) who d1ed in childbirth
#34
After birth, I sweat so much at night that I would wake up soaking wet from head to toe for the first week or two.
Jumping Jellyfishes 8 months ago
Happens again later in life, whether you've gone pregnancy track or not. Fun times!
#35
If you don't have adequate calcium intake, your body will pull it from your bones and teeth. Medieval European people assumed that women would lose a tooth for each pregnancy.
Little Bit 8 months ago
My grandmother hax false teeth from when she was in her 20s due to multiple pregnancies.
Lene Leth Winterberg 8 months ago (edited)
My grandmas teeth crumbled so bad that she decided to have them all pulled out and get dentures. That was 1948 in Denmark. Having Them fixed was way to expensive. Imagine getting a full set of dentures in the age of 21. It was her first pregnancy.
LauraDragonWench 7 months ago
That was my mom, here in America. She, too, had a full set of dentures by the time she was 21 (in 1962) thanks to crumbling teeth. The dentist blamed my mom for her condition, of course - I doubt either of them knew about the calcium leeching effect of pregnancy (my mom was pregnant with my older brother at the time).
Load More Replies... Lila Allen 8 months ago
You will also leach calcium from bones while you breastfeed if you don't massively increase your calcium intake
Anna Drever 8 months ago
My mother, had all of us in the 60’s, lost her teeth with pregnancy number 2. Fortunately I was fine and my sister the same when we were pregnant.
#36
You can be essentially allergic to being pregnant. I had a condition called PUPPPs and my skin itched all over. It was so excruciating I needed to scratch which of course made it worse. Creams did not relieve the itching. Meds didn’t stop it. My legs and belly were the worst. I used to soak my feet/calves in ice water to try to relieve the burning. I couldn’t sleep more than 1 hour at a time. Eventually I found a soap that gave me 3-4 hours of relief (pine tar soap) so I just showered all the time and went through so much soap/water. This started at 25 weeks and went to 38 weeks before I told my doctor I just couldn’t take it anymore and she decided to do a c-section. It went away as soon as babe was out. Will NEVER get pregnant again. And believe it or not, that is the MILD condition, there is a worse one that impacts the liver and can put the baby at risk (cholestasis). Pregnancy is awful.
BoredPangolin 8 months ago
Isn't it a reaction to baby's DNA fragments that leak into the mother's blood stream?
Nika Strokappe 3 months ago
First one I had 2 stretches of about 6 weeks of terrible itching, would scratch untill the skin was open. Second one about 10 weeks and later 4 weeks or so of less bad itching. 3rd, almost nothing...
Neb 7 months ago
Ouch, in my experience, a calamine spray helps a bit. Another thing I used was colloidal oatmeal powder (found in pharmacy, but there are online as well, add to cool bath water - I used only enough water to cover my legs. Thankfully, it did not last long and was only a side reaction to antibiotic (not allergy, a regular side reaction).
Not-a-Clue (she/her) 8 months ago
I had to get up several times on the night to sit in a cold bath to relive the itching.
#37
A large number of people have significant trouble conceiving. Many don't like to talk about it publicly or be constantly reminded of it, so you should refrain from teasing young couples about when are they going to start having kids since there's a good chance they are already trying and are having trouble.
CatD 8 months ago
Right? It's like strangers asking to feel your belly. No!
Load More Replies... KnightOwl86 8 months ago
Me and my partner tried for 15yrs, we had 2 early miscarriages in the first couple of years then nothing. I watched all my friends and siblings have babies, most weren't planned, some weren't wanted. I supported 3 friends through abortions while desperately wishing it was me who was pregnant. I got constant comments asking if and when we'd be having a baby and would just shrug and say 'if it's meant to be it'll happen' while internally heartbroken. I ended up breaking down one day while I was with 3 of my sisters when they kept going on and on about me not having kids yet, I sobbed and finally told them how hard it was to deal with the constant questions and comments. They finally stopped asking about it but I still deal with comments from co workers and random strangers a lot. (You're almost 40? Why don't you have kids? You're running out of time! BELIEVE ME I KNOW!)
Nika Strokappe 3 months ago
People should talk about it more. Everyone learns in school that a lot of pregnancies end in miscarriage, nobody thinks it is actually true as you hardly ever hear about it. But as soon as you tell, like half of the people you know will tell you they had the same. If people would be more open, more people would be prepared
#38
More people need to know and talk about perinatal depression.
I was fully prepared for the chance of postpartum depression. I was not expecting to be smacked with s******l ideation mid pregnancy. Perinatal depression is not uncommon, either. It occurs in approximately 1 in 10 pregnancies because of the hormonal changes.
Please, if you’re not feeling ok, reach out to your care team. They will hook you up with the treatment and support you need without judgement.
Huddo's sister 8 months ago
My best friend and her husband both got depression during her second pregnancy. She got help, he refused it and ended up cheating on her while denying any change in his behaviour.
#39
I gave birth over 2 years ago, over 2 months early due to preeclampsia. My blood pressure peaked to insane levels and I had to immediately have an emergency c-section. Literally right after giving birth, BP right back to normal. It was crazy.
6 months ago my blood pressure started rising again, it keeps going up. Diet change isn't budging it. I go to the doctor, get formally diagnosed with hypertension. Turns out more than half of people who get preeclampsia will eventually develop hypertension. I had no idea.
Also post-birth blood clots up to the size of lemon are normal.
OH- pregnancy brain is real and is cause (at least partially) by the fact that your blood volume gets MUCH higher like 25-50% higher (and even more of you are pregnant with multiples, I had twins) BUT the amount of red blood cells stays the same. So your blood is really dillute and isn't carrying enough oxygen to your brain. Not enough to damage you, but enough for minor memory lapses. I forgot the lyrics to every song I've ever known. Came back a couple months after giving birth.
Lila Allen 8 months ago
Seriously we need to share this stuff more. Most women develop some kind of postpartum issues. New allergies, high blood pressure, damaged joints, etc. We need to keep sharing this.
LauraDragonWench 7 months ago
Until you get a uterus, you don't get to comment beyond, Wow, that's insane/incredible/so informative.
Load More Replies... #40
Post-partum mental illness is a thing, and it can be horrific.
Lila Allen 8 months ago
Can confirm. I am generally a really rational person and I have a masters in psychology and I truly believed that ghosts were after us and trying to k**l my baby. Seriously believed it so fully that I cannot explain how real it seemed to me. Thank goodness my mom's best friend is a psychiatrist and came to visit and realized I was not ok.
LauraDragonWench 7 months ago
Postpartum psychosis is devastating and responsible for so many of the horrific crimes perpetrated by moms on their infants and children.
#41
Don't stand up immediately after giving birth without a spill pad on the floor. I had natural child birth. The nurse left the room, and I got up to go pee. Blood-colorered fluid rushed out of me and into a huge puddle on the floor. I just stood there, shocked. The nurse came back in almost immediately. She shook her head and blamed herself. She said she forgot to tell me not to get up until she put down towels or stuff because the vast majority of new mothers couldn't get out of bed due to numbing meds.
#42
You will probably be very low on iron. Iron supplements will probably make you VERY sick.
Kellogs cereal (such as frosted mini wheats) have 100% of your daily value of iron in a serving. Put two measuring cups of it in a ziplock bag and snack on them during the day.
Francesca Annoni 8 months ago
I have always had very heavy menstrual cycles, my blood iron levels have always been low, during pregnancy for the first time, not having a period, my iron levels were perfect!!
CatD 8 months ago
Same, plus I did snack on cereal because it helped my stomach. Product 19, really good, but they don't make it anymore.😣
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Gunný Petersen 8 months ago
I ate so much cheerios while pregnant and if someone ate my cheerios I would almost murder him😅
#43
If you have laboured to full dilation you can *still* wind up with an emergency c-section, so you don't get the "at least you can sit down/your baby has a nice round head" 'benefits' of not delivering vaginally.
If your baby's head is stuck in the birth canal when they do the c-section in these circumstances, freeing it comes with a really juicy squelching 'pop' - breaking the suction. Quite unnerving to hear.
Beth Wheeler 8 months ago
That didn't happen with my emergency C-section because of my baby being face up instead of face down and my pelvis closed up instead of opening up
Ruth Watry 8 months ago (edited)
My nephew had a ring of bruises/blisters at the point where his head got stuck - c-section saved him
#44
You secrete a disgustingly rank fluid called lochia for over a month after giving birth, in addition to blood. For 8 weeks my v****a smelled worse than Satan’s a*****e.
CatD 8 months ago (edited)
Mine was just like a period. Of course they've always been REALLY heavy and long, so not much difference. That's how I knew I was finally in labor. I was getting Braxton Hicks contractions and was 3 weeks late. They were planning on going with a C-section if I hadn't gone into labor the next day. It felt like my period.
Load More Replies... #45
The Latin word for cake is placenta.
#46
Maybe not everyone knows, but you can become temporarily diabetic during pregnancy. But also fun fact, sometimes it sticks around and you end up with type 2 (your chances of t2 increase by something like 50% if you've had gestational diabetes!) This is how I ended up with t2 at the age of 32.
Robin Roper 8 months ago
Yep, I had gestational diabetes, it went away immediately after giving birth, but came roaring back 35 years later.
Jumping Jellyfishes 8 months ago
Yikes! I was told if I lost all the pregnancy weight within the first six weeks of giving birth, it would lesson my chances of getting diabetes later. Don't know if that was actually true or not, but I managed to do it.
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Atom Bohr 8 months ago
My friend developed gestational diabetes and coeliac disease during her first pregnancy. It took months for the doctors to believe that she wasn't dieting and actually look into what was wrong
Lila Allen 8 months ago
Ah yes the gift of new allergies. I don't think people realize how many women develop new and permanent allergies during pregnancy
Load More Replies... #47
When you get a C-section they *may* have to take the section of intestines covering your uterus out of your body. Like, it's just sitting in a bowl next to you, then once the baby's out and your uterus is stitched back up they just pack your guts back in and sew you up. Usually it's just pushed to the side, though.
Also, your uterus is pulled partially out of your abdomen so they can deliver the baby.
Lila Allen 8 months ago
Luckily somehow your body can sort out where everything belongs so they just dump everything back in and it moves itself into position. However there's a high chance with c section that you have permanent numbness due to severed abdominal nerves.
#48
There's a very high chance that you will poop during the birth. Pushing is pushing. If you don't poop, then it means you are in for a bigger poop afterwards.
Speaking of poop, the baby will often poop on you during the skin to skin immediately after the birth.
StrangeOne 8 months ago
The doctors and nurses at the hospitals where I am will not allow you to eat anything, other than sugarless jello, while in labour. I was pretty much starved for 32 hours.
Atom Bohr 8 months ago
My friend had this, too. She wasn't allowed to drink, either, only to suck on ice chips. I get that there's a risk you might need surgery, but when people need surgery after an accident it's possible even if they've eaten or drank recently. Depriving women of food and drink like that is horrific. I'm so sorry you were treated that way
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#49
If you are on antibiotics after birth and breastfeeding your baby can projectile poop. Like a little poop cannon.
Nika Strokappe 3 months ago
Same here and it lasted like 6 months before it stopped (only with the first two and it would stop for a couple of days/weeks and start again) And nope, making sure you pull the flaps around the legs out did not help even if I had my hand on their backs it would still end up mid back or all the way up to their neck. Sometimes 3 times a day... Fun times. Ow so nice to carry your kid in a swaddle, yeah fun times... 😉
Load More Replies... #50
The first time you have s*x after childbirth--even if it's been 6 weeks--is excruciating.
ETA: For the woman.
StrangeOne 8 months ago
It is, but that may also mean it was too soon. It was about 2 or 3 months for me, and I was not feeling in the mood for it yet. Men need to allow new mothers enough time and respect our bodies. Why would a man even be turned on of his partner being in pain all over again like that?
BoredPangolin 8 months ago
I'm sorry you experienced that. I can't confirm it though, after 2 kids.
#51
Preeclampsia can last up to 6 weeks postpartum. You'd be amazed at how many emergency personel don't know this. When asked if you have any medical history, please volunteer the information that you are postpartum, don't wait for them to specifically ask. *steps off of soap box*.
#52
My belly button popped out when I was pregnant. It was visible through my shirts and was terribly embarassing.
Hemorrhoids are kind of unavoidable. And doctors love looking at them.
If you go past your due date, a doctor or midwife may think it's a great idea to "separate the membranes." You may or may not want to look it up. It isn't pleasant.
I probably pooped while I was giving birth. I am afraid to ask anyone. If so, a lot of people saw me poop.
My b***s were leaking so badly after I gave birth that my cats thought I was a drinking fountain. That was fun to wake up to.
#53
Not sure it’s gruesome but when they remove your placenta during a c-section you can feel tugging up by your collarbone.
#54
If you are a short person carrying a big baby, your rib cage will take a beating! I'm 5'2" and have long legs but a short trunk and my son was delivered at 21" 8 lbs 13 oz. During the last 2 months in utero, he had no room. His kicking and stretching were right up to my sternum. I was bruised for weeks after birth. I didn't notice any vaginal pain, probably because my ribs were so sore.
Huddo's sister 8 months ago
My mum is short, but all five of us were fairly small. She did say that once baby was in position, head engaged, because there was less space between the cervix and v****a, we were all born really quickly after. Most babies can be in that position for weeks before labour starts.
Heather Mckeith 3 months ago
I'm 5'2 with long legs and short torso. I had twins at 4lbs7 and 5lbs8 and both 19 inches long. One of them physically c*****d a rib that took 6 months to heal. Couldn't eat solid foods for 3 weeks leading up to birth because they crushed my stomach. Liquids only or super soft food
#55
The reason we believe women with postnatal psychosis (if they end their lives while unwell), they do so in almost ALWAYS a violent manner (setting themselves on fire for eg) is because the inbuilt maternal protective instinct gets turned inward towards themselves because they feel they are the threat.
Source. Perinatal psychiatric nurse.
StrangeOne 8 months ago (edited)
I have to wonder where exactly PPD and PP actually stems from. Hear me out, please. I had a mild form of PPD, but still troubled me a great deal. Some of the things that enraged me was how I was treated at ob-gyn appts, by family and friends, by my spouse and during, and after labour, and while caring for my baby. During pregnancy, everyone was concerned how well I was taking care of myself, and asking if I needed anything. Turns out they were only concerned about the baby and what the baby needed. Which should be fine. But as far as the new mother goes, it's all scrutiny and unsolicited advice with harsh, lecturing tones and undermining our emotional and mental health. People don't look at a new mom as just another person with many interests and a life outside of parenting. No one is speaking to the mother with excitement, encouragement and trusting her maternal instincts. But there's other things at play, too, that go back before the pregnancy. The hormones enhance the issues, it seemed like.
Atom Bohr 8 months ago (edited)
When one of my colleagues left on maternity leave I bought her a nice blanket and slippers (from primark, so not expensive, but really soft and comfy) and a book by an author she liked. She was so incredibly happy to be pregnant, had had an easy pregnancy, etc, but she started crying right then and there because even for her recent birthday, everything she'd received was for the baby. I was stunned. I'm not that interested in babies, and I'd never stopped to consider how, socially, the woman is utterly replaced by the baby during pregnancy
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#56
The umbilical cord is dense, tough, and sinewy. When you cut it you end up sawing a little with the scissors. I don't know what I expected but that was weird.
#57
I haven't seen this yet but the intense shakes your body gets after you give birth, usually after the placenta, sometimes not. So bad, you can't even hold your cup much less your baby. Your body is coming to the realization that the baby isn't in there anymore.
StrangeOne 8 months ago
There's a video of this I saw. The nurse told the women "The baby is out now, so you can stop doing that."
BoredPangolin 8 months ago
Isn't it because they gave you ocytoxin to stop the bleeding? I had that with my second... I was hemoragging.
#58
You know what a taint is? That little strip of skin between the a**s and the v****a/testicles?
Yea that tears like wet tissue paper. If it doesn't tear though don't worry, they'll literally cut it with scissors.
Isn't interesting that you suddenly feel that area of your body suddenly?
DennyS (denzoren) 8 months ago
I first heard the term for this one a TV show and googled the meaning...and when I tell you I was flabbergasted...
#59
“Morning sickness,” isn’t always just a few throw-ups here and there - it can be a debilitating round the clock issue called hyperemesis gravidarum that leads to dehydration, passing out and weight loss. Mine was so severe I had a pump for meds. I gave up trying to explain to people that tried to sympathize with the, “oh, I got sick with mine too!”
Another fun one is when your liver starts misbehaving - cholestasis of pregnancy - and causes SEVERE itching on your palms and soles of your feet. Bad enough that I laid in bed with socks on my hands crying to sleep some nights because I was already raw from scratching. Mine was only the last few days of pregnancy, or I think I might’ve gone insane!
#60
If you have a really bad headache later in your pregnancy, take your blood pressure; if it's high, call the triage line. Get seen. You can be fine one day and develop pre-eclampsia the next. It can come on sudden and severely. It can also damage your kidneys.
You can still have wicked postpartum hemorrhoids if you have a C-section.
Edema. You may have a lot of swelling in your legs and the rest of your body after pregnancy. It's relatively normal and should go away. You have a lot of extra fluid to get rid of now.
#61
I had terrible pain when my milk was drying out. Binding helped.
Also, pushing can cause hemorrhoids. With my 1st kid, a nurse actually called the other nurses in to see them because they were so big. I should have been embarrassed. I did not care.
Isabella K 8 months ago
Or a teaching moment? We don't know if the other nurse was still learning or the first nurse was unsure if everything was alright because they were so big... i gave birth in a university hospital. A lot of people were there just to see something new to learn.
Load More Replies... #62
That your bladder can freeze from a c-section. It took me 4 days to be able to pee. The number of catheters I had put in me made me cry by the end. I couldn't get a permanent one put in until an order was placed so they kept using temporary ones to make sure I didn't burst my bladder. Holy frack, the pain while I'm being held together with staples.
#63
When I had to pee the first time after giving birth, I had absolutely zero control over my bladder. I left a trail to the bathroom. I wish someone had warned me about that and the first postpartum poop.
But that first shower after giving birth is amazing.
#64
You will need to prep yourself for the second birth. What is that? It's when you have your first full bowel movement after.
BoredPangolin 8 months ago
I was dreading it since I read about that several times... But I had two kids and it was never bad. I didn't give birth on my back, though, so maybe it made a difference.
#65
Seemed like it was taking a long time for my OBGYN to stitch up tears AND an episiotomy. I whispered to my L&D nurse if it normally took this long. She whispered back, "Girl, you're torn from clit to s**t. It's gonna take as long as it takes.".
StrangeOne 8 months ago
The ob-gyn (a man, who subbed for my assigned one) didn't bother to wait for the freezing to take effect, then shouted at me saying "It shouldn't be hurting. I gave you the anesthetics". I never felt so vulnerable, violated and manipulated all at once that bad. At that time.
#66
Every pregnancy can be completely different. The horrible things you got used to the first time? It’s very likely you will have completely new horrible things this time!
Also, sometimes the d***s don’t kick in before the c-section. I felt my third one completely.
#67
Near the end of my pregnancy I had terrible gingivitis (apparently pregnancy can cause this) and carpal tunnel in both hands from the swelling that lasted months postpartum.
Also no one tells you about the swelling that can happen postpartum. I had a c section and the swelling in my legs and ankles was so painful it lasted for weeks. I could barely bend my knees and my ankles were not existent.
Robin Roper 8 months ago
I developed very painful de Quervain tenosynovitis and had to endure steroid injections in both by wrists, wear splints on both my wrists, and then surgery on both by wrists.
#68
Uterine Prolapse. Bladder Prolapse.
I was horrified when I finally looked down there a few weeks postpartum and saw the damage. Post partum physical therapists are miracle workers.
StrangeOne 8 months ago
I've heard about this but I don't know if that's where your insides fall out, or just fall down and get a sagging pelvis. If the latter, that explains why I still have that.
#69
How many totally random body parts that have nothing to do with growing a baby are affected by pregnancy hormones:
- Your freckles and moles can change shape and size
- You can get tinnitus during your pregnancy (usually goes away after giving birth)
- Your feet can grow in size, permanently
- You can get dark patches on your face
- Growing skin tags
- Weird, vivid dreams
- Carpal tunnel
- Chronic nasal congestion
- Restless leg syndrome
- Excess ear wax
- Metallic taste in your mouth
- Charlie horse cramps
- Excessive saliva
- Eye sight getting worse
- And more….
Pregnancy is wild.
Lorraine Woollands 8 months ago
Reading these stories, I am so glad that I never had children. Never had the chance
#70
Honestly I wish people would actually acknowledge how long of a time pregnancy and possibly breastfeeding last.
It’s so highly moralized that only the most selfish and vile woman would want to use intoxicants/smoke or struggle not to abuse intoxicants (of any kind) or even take their regular medications or do whatever with their own body while pregnant or breastfeeding.
It’s a long f*****g time!
I’m not encouraging unsafe practices, but let’s at least be empathetic to the struggles of addicts or even just women that want to be “selfish” with their own body at points during the pregnancy or breastfeeding part.
StrangeOne 8 months ago
Someone tried shaming me for stopping breastfeeding so I could start taking vital medication for a tumor in my pituitary gland. I was nursing for 9 months and apparently I'm "selfish" and should have told my healthcare providers that my health "isn't as important as breastfeeding my baby". Yet, I was already given leniency to a couple months longer than recommended. Breastfeeding Nazis are the worst.
Jan Merzlak 8 months ago
I tried to quit smoking while pregnant, but it wasn't going well. My OBGYN told me my baby was experiencing withdrawal too. I ended up only being able to cut back. My child was born healthy.
#71
Not really gruesome, but my wife developed a full on gluten intolerance when pregnant with both of our kids. Went away within a couple of weeks of giving birth both times. We didn’t even realise that was a thing.
Gluten free bread is s**t.
StrangeOne 8 months ago
Gluten free burritos made us cry. We bought them by accident. I feel bad for those with celiac. I would rather go without.
BoredPangolin 8 months ago
I became badly lactose intolerant right after my second pregnancy...
#72
The potential to lose your teeth. Something about my first pregnancy had my teeth start deteriorate in my mouth as if I brushed them with acid. The doctors were pretty ignorant and said I had some sort of deficiency and weren't very worried about it. I've endured 20 years of excruciating pain with broken teeth, exposed nerves, abscesses, etc because I never had the insurance or finances to be able to do anything about it. It's affected my life in so many awful ways, from having to adjust my diet to losing out on job opportunities because of how I look. This was never in any pregnancy pamphlet I'll tell you, well at least not back in 2000.
#73
I mean, I think the death rate alone is something we don't talk about. Giving birth is trauma, we never think about how dangerous it actually is, we just want folks to have kids🤷.
StrangeOne 8 months ago
That's something that kept in my mind the whole way through, but I tried not to think about it too much. Really didn't need to hear the nurse tell me "C'mon, sit up. You're having a baby. Not dying."
#74
Google a 4th degree tear.
BoredPangolin 8 months ago
Had one... Didn't feel it happen and I didn't have painkillers. You know what really hurts? The last part of labour just before you can finally push. When pushing, I feel that you're too focused to feel much.
Aimee Stilts 8 months ago
I also had a 4th degree tear AND had to "resist the urge to push" for many contractions due to an anterior lip on my cervix. I don't remember feeling the tear...I DO remember the extremely painful feeling of not pushing when my body said to push.
Load More Replies... #75
If you have a C-section, you will never get feeling back around your scar. It’s so weird to scratch something and not be able to feel it. And it could still be sensitive/hurt even years later. Oh, and you’ll probably have scar tissue on your uterus so periods will make your scar hurt. It’s fun being a woman.
StrangeOne 8 months ago (edited)
This can be said for a lot of scars. I have one big one on my hip from a nasty fall off my bike, where I slid on a wet road. I have little feeling on that scar. It's been decades since it happened. My first period postnatal was painful. I never had much problems before until then. It knocked me on my a**e. If I had a job I would have had to take time off.
BoredPangolin 8 months ago
Actually, stretch marks can do this too. I have a numb area on my stomach, around my belly button. I can't feel much when I touch there. It was way too stretched during my second pregnancy!
Kim Kermes 8 months ago
It should be taught in 6th grade to all genders. Nothing to do with s*x ed! We're not saying a word about how the pregnancy started
StrangeOne 8 months ago
Huh? We started s*x ed in Grade 4. A year later, it was starting in Grade 3.
Load More Replies... #76
Your ligaments can loosen too much and make your pelvis come apart too far and it’s….terrible.
Aimee Stilts 8 months ago
What actually happens is, all the cartilage in your pelvis becomes soft, almost like jelly, to allow the expansion of the pelvic circle so the baby's head can fit. Often, your pelvis does not properly align itself before the cartilage hardens up, and it can cause a lot of problems with your back and lower extremeties.
StrangeOne 8 months ago
Mine didn't get too far apart, but it's not something I felt happen, anyways. There's so much going on and a lot of contraction pain. You just want the baby to come out already and have it be over.
#77
After you give birth, if you're bleeding heavily... your OB will REACH UP INSIDE YOU and try to scoop all the clots out with their hands while they also punch you in the uterus. It's lovely.
Aimee Stilts 8 months ago
This is actually to remove any remnants of the placenta that may have not come out. The medical staff will look at your placenta to make sure it looks intact, and if it doesn't, they have to find the missing pieces to avoid a life-threatening infection. It is not standard practice as the placenta will typically all come out on its own.
#78
The sheer pain of your milk coming in. As someone who was never well endowed in that area, when my b***s swelled up 5 sizes bigger than normal, then went rock solid to the point I couldn’t touch them, wear clothing or lie down to the sheer pain. Contemplated cutting them off but loaded myself with decongestants to dry out my milk supply.
StrangeOne 8 months ago
It is painful. You're b***s are literally contracting like your torso did in labour.
#79
All of your joints and ligaments get bendy and loose because you’re getting pumped full of a hormone called relaxin. It’s necessarily to allow your body to stretch out for pregnancy and delivery, but when I had a bad cough, it turned my coughing into such bad fits that I would throw up and pee. At the same time.
StrangeOne 8 months ago
I felt like soggy noodles afterward. Literally deflated like a balloon. Very weak feeling. Your baby will feel heavy to you.
#80
Not everybody gets the flood of emotions that makes you effectively forget all the pain & misery of child birth. I remember every second. No, I didn’t have a second child.
StrangeOne 8 months ago
I remember seeing a big birthmark on my daughter and thought, "WTF is THAT??" but once she was in my arms I didn't want to let her go. In fact, I was upset I wasn't the first to hold her and I was upset when the nurses took her away and gave her first bath without me present. This is what is meant by "mama bear" mode.
#82
No one warned my that my abdominal muscles would be so wrecked that breathing was hard for a while. Compression helps.
#84
Postpartum Hives!
Never had them with my first, but 2-3 days after getting home with my son, I was covered top to bottom with tiny itchy bumps. Was excruciating especially around my c-section scar, since I couldn’t scratch!
#85
Stitches down there. It’s like sitting on barbed wire. Combine that with haemorrhoids the size of your fist and going to the bathroom for a c**p is t*****e.
#86
You can still bleed out postpartum. You can also still have hypertension caused by pregnancy up to 6 weeks after delivery. Which means you can have a seizure or stroke at home with a newborn. Or just a horrible blasted headache that feels like death.
#87
You can get varicose veins on your vulva and it hurts like a m**o, all the while the pressure on your pelvic floor and vulva worsens as the baby gets better.
Went away instantly as soon as he was born.
#88
You can develop pregnancy carpal tunnel in your wrists. My last pregnancy, I had to wear braces on both wrists. The pain kept me up, and would wake me up. I would just cry because of my wrists feeling like they were being crushed. Makes daily living a nightmare. Any action that required using my hands was searing pain.
#89
You're pretty much legally responsible for another person's health, safety, and well-being for like two decades afterwards.
It seems that a lot of people don't know that.
Edit *And morally responsible, too.
StrangeOne 8 months ago
It can be longer if your child ends up disabled. Make sure you take good care of your children and work hard at developing a strong bond with open minds and open communication. You can have your opinions, but make sure you're not being obnoxious about it to the point you sacrifice your relationship with your kids.
#90
If you have a C Section they stick some pain killers inside your r****m without even asking!
Breastfeeding can hurt a lot, and this can be ’normal’. Mastitis is very painful and your baby can drink your blood as you bleed from c*****d nipples.
Queefing suddenly became a thing. Though not sure if this was from C Section or second surgery following haemorrhage.
#91
Honestly I think childbirth is already pretty disgusting. You're pushing a giant meatball out your hoohah or you're getting sliced open, and regardless of all that, you might poop on the table.
And your organs are rearranged permanently.
StrangeOne 8 months ago
Yeah, that's how I feel, too. I don't see it as beautiful and something to show the world.
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What do you think ?
Maim 8 months ago
They should make all teenagers read this thread. Would be highly effective birth control. *Shudders*
Betsy S 8 months ago
I arranged for my 15 yr old daughter to be the labour coach of a family friend. Worked like a charm. She had her first child at 32.
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Robyn Hill 8 months ago
Just give this to every teenage girl and make them read it. Teen pregnancies will plummet. OMG, I have never felt more vindicated in my decision to never have kids.
StrangeOne 8 months ago
Not always the case. We had early s*x ed, contraceptive education, you name it. What I didn't have was a stable home, with a stable, present mom in my teen years and met someone 3 years old than me who was friends with other teen parents, and I felt a bit out of the club. I didn't know at the time I was being coerced and groomed.
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Little Bit 8 months ago
Before I got pregnant I thought that labour lasted a few hours max. How wrong was I? I was in slow labour for three days and three nights. The pain was excruciating. I couldn't sit, I couldn't stand, I couldn’t walk, I couldn't move, I couldn't lay down. The hospital kept sending me home because I wasn't far enough dilated. By about 11pm on the third night I was in tears and insisted that we go back to the hospital and stay there no matter what because I couldn't take any more. As it happened this time they didn't try to send me home because I was far enough dilated. My waters had broke so gradually that I hadn't noticed. I was too late for any pain relief though.
CatD 8 months ago
They had to break the placenta on both my kids. It was too thick to break on it's own. The delivery went a lot faster after that.
Load More Replies... Maim 8 months ago
They should make all teenagers read this thread. Would be highly effective birth control. *Shudders*
Betsy S 8 months ago
I arranged for my 15 yr old daughter to be the labour coach of a family friend. Worked like a charm. She had her first child at 32.
Load More Replies... Robyn Hill 8 months ago
Just give this to every teenage girl and make them read it. Teen pregnancies will plummet. OMG, I have never felt more vindicated in my decision to never have kids.
StrangeOne 8 months ago
Not always the case. We had early s*x ed, contraceptive education, you name it. What I didn't have was a stable home, with a stable, present mom in my teen years and met someone 3 years old than me who was friends with other teen parents, and I felt a bit out of the club. I didn't know at the time I was being coerced and groomed.
Load More Replies... Little Bit 8 months ago
Before I got pregnant I thought that labour lasted a few hours max. How wrong was I? I was in slow labour for three days and three nights. The pain was excruciating. I couldn't sit, I couldn't stand, I couldn’t walk, I couldn't move, I couldn't lay down. The hospital kept sending me home because I wasn't far enough dilated. By about 11pm on the third night I was in tears and insisted that we go back to the hospital and stay there no matter what because I couldn't take any more. As it happened this time they didn't try to send me home because I was far enough dilated. My waters had broke so gradually that I hadn't noticed. I was too late for any pain relief though.
CatD 8 months ago
They had to break the placenta on both my kids. It was too thick to break on it's own. The delivery went a lot faster after that.
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