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Nothing can fully prepare you for the moment you give birth. It doesn’t matter how many books or articles you’ve read. Or whether or not you attended prenatal classes. Not all births are created equal. Some women describe theirs as a breeze. While others are still living with childbirth trauma, or physical pain and scars, years later. The truth is, you just don’t know what the universe is going to serve up the day you “pop” until it actually arrives. Whether Mother Nature will be kind or cruel.
Someone asked, "What are some gruesome facts about pregnancy/childbirth/postpartum that not many people know?" and moms who have been through the most didn't hold back. The post clocked up more than 8,000 comments, as people shared their own personal harrowing birthing stories, alongside the lesser-known facts they wish they'd been told earlier. Bored Panda has put together a list of the most hair-raising and jaw-dropping ones. Some might make you want to pass out. But keep scrolling for yet more proof that women truly were built to be warriors.
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#1
Labor does not automatically start if you lose the baby. You can try to induce but sometimes it just takes time.
You can opt for a c-section, but surgery when it doesn't affect the life of the baby is not always the best option
I was wandering around 8 and half months pregnant for for two weeks before the induction "took".
Until then it was checking into the hospital, blood work, induction, contractions, then nothing. Go back home, rest a few days, try again.
Fully pregnant, planning for after- will there be a burial? Cremation? What clothes should baby wear?
And of course, people still asking when I'm due and such.
Even the blood work lady asked about the baby all happy. The maternity blood person wS busy so they sent me to the regular hospital area. She wouldn't stop asking boy or girl? When's the big day? I figured vagues answers while pointing to my paperwork would clue her in. It did not.
She was like - you don't seem very excited.
Seriously, maybe I was a suragate, or putting it up for adoption, why did she assume it was all happiness and rainbows?
But planning a funeral for a baby while still pregnant was awful.
And the birth was difficult, it was a dry birth of course ( meaning no water in the sack so more difficult and higher infection risk)
I also broke my tailbone pushing. I don't know why, but something about that part felt extra unfair.
Behind the baby showers, Insta-worthy birth announcements, and professional newborn photo shoots lies a whole other world. One that's not spoken about a lot. Birth is often painted in soft pastels, and the less-than-happy moments are primered over to make room for celebration.
Many women across the world silently endure physical and psychological challenges. They smile, or grin and bear it. Because that's what they're expected to do, despite just having gone through a process that can be messy, painful, risky, and even traumatizing.
But more moms are choosing to speak up. Like those on this list. They're sharing the cold, hard truths about pregnancy and childbirth. A lot of it you aren't taught at school, or even in prenatal classes...
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#2
This entire thread solidifies my selfishness when it comes to not having children.
I can barely control my body now, why would I FORCE this change on myself.
All you mamas are f*****g warriors.
Lila Allen 1 month ago
Having a baby should definitely be a 100% I am all in and aware of the risks kind of choice. No one should do this unless they really really really want to.
We've come a long way with science and medicine. Nowadays, you can see your baby's features in 4D long before they're born. Doctors can detect diseases, defects and disorders during pregnancy. They can even perform surgery on a baby while in the womb.
In 2024, Kourtney Kardashian Barker revealed that she underwent urgent fetal surgery in September 2023. And it saved her son's life. “Baby Rocky had to have fetal surgery for fluid in his lung, and it’s super rare, the condition that he had, but it's also super rare and lucky that we caught it," she said.
#3
The US has the highest maternal death rate of any developed country, and it’s rising. But yeah, abortion is the problem.
But despite all the advances in modern medicine, women are still dying while giving birth. Way too many women. The World Health Organization (WHO) has raised the alarm, warning that "maternal mortality is unacceptably high."
According to the organization, around 260 000 women died during and following pregnancy and childbirth in 2023. To put it into sharp context, one mom-to-be died almost every 2 minutes that year. And most of those deaths could have been prevented.
#4
Postpartum depression is extremely dangerous and can last for months after their birth. After my twins were born my wife had a complete personality change. She became s******l, and at times a*****e to me. At one point she ran away from home. I found her two states away. Her brother had to bring her home. Things got really, really bad. The twins are 5 now and she's the person I married again. She doesn't like to talk about those times. The only thing she'll say is it was the darkest time in her entire life.
#5
The leading cause of death in pregnant and postpartum women in the US is homicide.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 1 month ago
And pregnancy and birth itself is a leading cause of death in women, even in a "medically advanced" country like the US :(
#6
The placenta is the size of a plate and leaves an internal open wound that size that also needs to heal
Edited to add: the responses and shock to this make me really angry about the level of maternal education and care that is being given.
StrangeOne 1 month ago (edited)
YES, and men NEED to understand and respect that new mothers NEED to fully heal and be ready for s*x on their own terms. NOT be forced to submit s*x just because the man is h***y. The men can get themselves off until she's ready. Got it?
WHO says women are dying due to complications during and following pregnancy and childbirth. "Most of these complications develop during pregnancy and most are preventable or treatable," notes the site. "Other complications may exist before pregnancy but are worsened during pregnancy, especially if not managed as part of the woman’s care."
Some of the major complications include severe bleeding (mostly bleeding after childbirth), infections (usually after childbirth), high blood pressure during pregnancy (pre-eclampsia and eclampsia), complications from delivery and unsafe abortions.
#7
Gruesome adjacent- you can save your placenta and donate it to the training of cadaver dogs!
The dogs need human tissue in order to train and a placenta is a huge donation as medical specimens can be costly.
All I did was email/ call a local search and rescue team in my area and ask if they would accept my donation. They were very grateful!
So I brought a small cooler with my to the hospital and let my staff know and then I kept in on ice till I was discharged and then in the freezer till the dog trainer came to pick it up. I even got a pic with the dogs it would train.
Earonn - 1 month ago
Oh, that's such a great use for it! I really wonder why that's not something expectant parents are informed about "Hey, as for the birth, here are things that can be done with the placenta, would you consider donating yours for one? just put an X behind the cause you'd like to support (and if not, that's fine, it's a donation ).
#8
My wife's placenta wouldn't detach after the birth of our daughter, so the nurse just went up in there and got it out. I was oohing and aahing over our new baby girl and I look over to see someone d**n near elbow-deep treating my wife like a sock puppet. It was so jarring. Mothers are so d**n tough dude, it's unreal.
#9
You can do everything 'right' (no d***s, no alcohol, all the right prenatals, no sushi no cookie dough, proper water intake) and still be staring at the 20 week ultrasound in shock after the nurse tells you there is a birth defect
Completely out of left field for me, felt like my world was crashing down. Proud to say he was born with a cleft lip, operated at 6 months, and at 2.5 years he's in speech therapy, seeing a nutritionist but otherwise a healthy and happy boy.
StrangeOne 1 month ago (edited)
My mom told me that if there were any birth defects she would automatically blame me. I was eating healthy and taking vitamins, too. My daughter has a developmental delay/intellectual disability and stunted growth. My mom hasn't muttered one word about it being my fault, but what she said back then still stings. Why do people do this to mothers?
Behind the smiles of new moms sometimes lie deep scars. A 2022 study published in the journal BMC Pregnancy and Childbirth found that 1 in 3 women described their birth as traumatic. "Birth trauma is any wound or damage that happens as a result of childbirth. Although trauma can be physical, such as a birth-related injury, it can also be psychological or emotional," explains Medical News Today.
#11
About month 7 I told my husband I could feel my skin expanding all over my body. Arms, belly, back, b***s. He had the audacity to chuckle and say, “I don’t think so, you know it’s hormones” 😡 I told him if he said the word hormones again in the next 2-8 months I would smash his head in the oven door and then bake his liver.
Yeah, hormones WILL have you saying some weird s**t. But I was deadly serious.
Kim Kermes 1 month ago
The only appropriate and safe response to any complaint from an expectant mother is Gee, I m so sorry! How awful! Is there anything I can do? And you were being charitable to offer to k i l l him before removing his liver. And I've never been pregnant. I think marsupials have the right idea.
#12
Sometimes it takes *weeks* to be able to stand up / sit down / walk again without a ton of pain.
No one f*****g told me that the first time. I was so focused on how the actual birth might be painful, had no realization that for over a month afterwards I'd be in danger of burning to death if the house ever caught fire because I could barely walk.
StrangeOne 1 month ago
YES. The nurses even tried making me walk from the recovery room to the maternity ward, which seemed a long a*s mile away. They didn't believe me when I said I couldn't feel my legs because most of the epidural stuff went to my lower body. That is, until I nearly keeled over getting off the bed. Why do hospitals treat their patients like this?
According to the study, many of the women polled met the criteria for Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), displaying symptoms like flashbacks, anxiety, emotional numbness, and difficulty bonding with the baby. A separate paper noted that many patients said they'd experienced trauma even when their childbirth outcomes were described as “routine” by clinicians.
#13
1st trimester miscarriages are way more common than most people think. 1 in 4 pregnancies terminate before 3 months.
StrangeOne 1 month ago
This is why you let the women wait to announce a pregnancy when she feels she's ready.
#14
The feeling of your organs going back down after they were cramped up for so long is a bit frightening. Especially the lungs. Standing up I could feel like they were weighted down.
People talk about c*****d nipples and painful latching while discussing breastfeeding but nobody talks about your uterus contracting during the first days of it.
#15
PTSD as a result of a difficult birth is surprisingly more common than you think.
I still suffer symptoms even now and my daughter is now 10.
StrangeOne 1 month ago (edited)
It was so bad for me, the topic is hard for me to talk about and now lay into a full on rant 23 years later. It was violating and I felt threatened by hospital staff. It's so bad I haven't had a gyno appt. in 22 years. "It shouldn't hurt this bad by now." Was the last thing was said to me.
#16
Was visiting a friend after she came home from the hospital with her newborn. Asked how it went and she said something like 'it really hurt when they stretched me'. I (a clueless male) had no idea what she was talking about so I was like 'what do you mean?'.
She explained it, stretching it is a lot better than tearing during the delivery etc. My brain tried to compute what she was saying and when it clicked, I nearly passed out. Women are tough.
Same person, experienced PPD although we didn't know it at the time. Was again visiting her a few weeks later and she said something to the effect of 'I want to throw this baby at the wall'. I played it cool and took the baby and told her to go have some 'me' time, but I was freaking out internally. I called my mother, who she had never met before, to come over, and she dropped what she was doing to come help this stranger. My mother is a saint.
At the same time I also called her parents who lived a few hours away and told them they needed to come up ASAP. Everything turned out ok but it was a lot for ~20yo me to deal with.
#17
The only way I could possibly pee was in the shower with warm water running over me.
I didn't poop for a week after. When I finally did I was so excited I called my boyfriend at work to tell him about it.
Your b***s will leak. they'll also go hard as rocks if you don't massage them or express some milk out.
Breastfeeding at first can really hurt.
StrangeOne 1 month ago
My mom bought me a sitz bath. It's like a bidet that goes over the toilet and you pump water through it as you pee, so your urine isn't burning your stitches.
#18
Post-delivery hemorrhaging is extremely common and extremely dangerous. If any of the placenta gets left behind in the uterus, it will cause the uterus to not "shut down" blood flow.
In the case of my wife, it was two hours after delivery that she started to not feel well. The nurse came in and pushed on her belly, followed by an absolute explosion of blood everywhere. She had been bleeding internally for over two hours without anyone realizing. She lost over two liters of blood, requiring transfusions. The only way they could get it stopped is the OB going elbow deep into my unmedicated wife to manually sweep out her uterus by hand. It took us probably 6 months to get over the trauma of that experience.
Had she not been in a hospital, she would be dead.
Think twice before delivering anywhere besides a hospital. Childbirth is extremely traumatic and the risks of serious consequences is very high even in situations where you are low risk. You want to have that baby under the same roof as a stocked blood bank and an operating room.
Lila Allen 1 month ago
Also the risk for postpartum stroke is SUPER high and no one tells you if you have headaches, pounding head, dizziness, or swelling in extremities to RUSH back to the hospital. Sudden dangerously high postpartum eclampsia is the number one cause of maternal death postpartum.
#19
Not gruesome but postnatal depression is literally the worst thing I’ve experienced in my life. It’s been 5 years since I had my last one and I’m still struggling now. No amount of help has worked from the doctors ( I have no help from anyone else) i wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy….. I don’t even know who I am anymore, all I wanted was to meet the love of my life and be a mum. and now i look in the mirror and don’t recognise myself, my body isn’t mine anymore and i can’t think of a worse fate than to have another child. Don’t get wrong I love my kids but if I knew what was coming I wouldn’t have put myself through this.
Lee Gilliland 1 month ago
And they don't warn you, yet over 50% of women have this to some extent.
#20
If you have an ectopic pregnancy in Idaho prepare to die. That’s the sad truth as of a few days ago.
#21
Hyperemesis Gravidarum.. Terrible. I lost 50lbs during my pregnancy from it.
Anna Drever 1 month ago (edited)
Had a minor version of something like that. Sick for the first 2 trimesters (and lost weight) but came right on the third. As bad as I felt I’m sure it was nothing compared to others who’ve gone through the real deal.
#22
The thing that frightens me the most is pelvic floor issues. Imagine suddenly no longer being able to control when you pee.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 1 month ago
Heck, I sometimes pee when I sneeze or laugh and I've never even been pregnant XD Just middle-aged!
#23
Nobody warned me that my insides would feel like they were falling out when I stood up the first few days after birth.
Lila Allen 1 month ago
Every woman should be told to bring oversized control top underwear to hold your insides in
#25
If you have to use the toliet and vomit, sit on the toliet and puke into the trash can.
You might need to poop while breastfeeding. Like, in the middle of it. Sit on the toliet and do your business while the kid feeds. This will not be the weirdest experience while parenting.
Francesca Annoni 1 month ago
I often had lunch while breastfeeding, I put the nursing pillow (the c-shaped one), I covered him with a napkin as if it were a sheet for the crumbs and I ate comfortably
#26
They go full crazy pushing your stomach after birth to make sure everything is out. I read some books but no one prepared me for that. It was like having another baby.
StrangeOne 1 month ago
Wouldn't the mother know everything is out? What are they trying to accomplish here?
#27
Currently pregnant.
Have pregnancy rhinitis, which is effectively like a cold caused by being pregnant.
Also have morning sickness.
Have you ever had uncontrollable sneezing while blowing chunks?
Not bucket list worthy, I promise.
Anna Drever 1 month ago
Post nasal drip in the first pregnancy. Not the other two thank goodness. Basically swallowing snot. All day, every day. For months….
#28
A short time before you give birth (anywhere from 1 to a few days before), you will pass a "mucus plug" which is basically a giant loogie that dislodges from your cervix and falls out of your v****a. Somehow it's even grosser than you would think.
When you birth your baby, you also birth the placenta. When the placenta detaches from the uterine wall, it leaves a raw gaping wound the size of a dinner plate that bleeds for weeks. Make sure you have lots of LARGE maxi pads on hand.
Everything smells like old ham for basically the entire first trimester and makes you constantly feel like you're about to vomit. It's like a hangover that lasts for weeks or months. Even things you loved the smell of before, now smell like the dirty coins from your grandpa's car's cup holder. Some lucky women have this through their whole pregnancy, along with the resulting nausea and vomiting.
Your baby will come home with a huge gnarly scab attached to their bellybutton. My boyfriend wasn't prepared for this one, apparently he thought that cutting the umbilical cord made it somehow detach from the baby right then and there. Nope. Big chunk of it stays behind, but will dry up over a number of days and eventually fall off.
StrangeOne 1 month ago (edited)
The bellybutton is a scar. Also, it's still debated, but people are starting to realize that it's possible the baby can feel the umbilical cord being cut, and it's particularly painful. I've seen videos of newborn getting the cord cut. They're quiet and then start screaming really loud and frantic once the cord is cut and the clamp is put on. There are nerves in the cord. Some don't believe this, thinking the baby is just crying over the sound of the clamp. But the baby starts screaming before the clamp is snapped.
#29
Can’t believe this hasn’t been mentioned- hemorrhoids. Often women don’t know they have them from labor due to the swelling, but add it to the list 😩.
#30
If you have hyperemesis gravida, you can throw up so hard that you break blood vessels in your cervix. Thought I was losing my twins but it was just the effects of puking 30-70x/day. Did that for 5 months, while sitting on my couch hooked up to an IV.
#31
Contractions don’t finish after labour. You have the after birth pains to look forward to when your uterus returns to its usual pre pregnancy size.
#32
The most terrifying thing to me of this post is that none of this info is taught to us. We’re kept in the dark intentionally. That is horrifying.
Not-a-Clue (she/her) 1 month ago
I'm convinced it's intentional. Much of this is news to me at 58 and having been through a pregnancy. If we had to do the same informed consent procedure like before a surgery when they have to give you all the possible outcomes, I'm convinced no one would voluntarily get pregnant.
#33
While pregnant, the baby can separate your ribs. And yes, it is unbearable.
Also, a healthy person with a healthy pregnancy can lose their life giving birth. I almost died giving birth to both my kids despite having no prior issues, from hemorrhaging blood for hours. Two emergency blood transfusions and I barely made it out alive.
BoredPangolin 1 month ago
This. Healthy too, almost died during second childbirth from complications and blood loss.
#34
After birth, I sweat so much at night that I would wake up soaking wet from head to toe for the first week or two.
Jumping Jellyfishes 1 month ago
Happens again later in life, whether you've gone pregnancy track or not. Fun times!
#35
If you don't have adequate calcium intake, your body will pull it from your bones and teeth. Medieval European people assumed that women would lose a tooth for each pregnancy.
Little Bit 1 month ago
My grandmother hax false teeth from when she was in her 20s due to multiple pregnancies.
#36
You can be essentially allergic to being pregnant. I had a condition called PUPPPs and my skin itched all over. It was so excruciating I needed to scratch which of course made it worse. Creams did not relieve the itching. Meds didn’t stop it. My legs and belly were the worst. I used to soak my feet/calves in ice water to try to relieve the burning. I couldn’t sleep more than 1 hour at a time. Eventually I found a soap that gave me 3-4 hours of relief (pine tar soap) so I just showered all the time and went through so much soap/water. This started at 25 weeks and went to 38 weeks before I told my doctor I just couldn’t take it anymore and she decided to do a c-section. It went away as soon as babe was out. Will NEVER get pregnant again. And believe it or not, that is the MILD condition, there is a worse one that impacts the liver and can put the baby at risk (cholestasis). Pregnancy is awful.
BoredPangolin 1 month ago
Isn't it a reaction to baby's DNA fragments that leak into the mother's blood stream?
#37
A large number of people have significant trouble conceiving. Many don't like to talk about it publicly or be constantly reminded of it, so you should refrain from teasing young couples about when are they going to start having kids since there's a good chance they are already trying and are having trouble.
#38
More people need to know and talk about perinatal depression.
I was fully prepared for the chance of postpartum depression. I was not expecting to be smacked with s******l ideation mid pregnancy. Perinatal depression is not uncommon, either. It occurs in approximately 1 in 10 pregnancies because of the hormonal changes.
Please, if you’re not feeling ok, reach out to your care team. They will hook you up with the treatment and support you need without judgement.
Huddo's sister 1 month ago
My best friend and her husband both got depression during her second pregnancy. She got help, he refused it and ended up cheating on her while denying any change in his behaviour.
#39
I gave birth over 2 years ago, over 2 months early due to preeclampsia. My blood pressure peaked to insane levels and I had to immediately have an emergency c-section. Literally right after giving birth, BP right back to normal. It was crazy.
6 months ago my blood pressure started rising again, it keeps going up. Diet change isn't budging it. I go to the doctor, get formally diagnosed with hypertension. Turns out more than half of people who get preeclampsia will eventually develop hypertension. I had no idea.
Also post-birth blood clots up to the size of lemon are normal.
OH- pregnancy brain is real and is cause (at least partially) by the fact that your blood volume gets MUCH higher like 25-50% higher (and even more of you are pregnant with multiples, I had twins) BUT the amount of red blood cells stays the same. So your blood is really dillute and isn't carrying enough oxygen to your brain. Not enough to damage you, but enough for minor memory lapses. I forgot the lyrics to every song I've ever known. Came back a couple months after giving birth.
Lila Allen 1 month ago
Seriously we need to share this stuff more. Most women develop some kind of postpartum issues. New allergies, high blood pressure, damaged joints, etc. We need to keep sharing this.
#40
Post-partum mental illness is a thing, and it can be horrific.
Lila Allen 1 month ago
Can confirm. I am generally a really rational person and I have a masters in psychology and I truly believed that ghosts were after us and trying to k**l my baby. Seriously believed it so fully that I cannot explain how real it seemed to me. Thank goodness my mom's best friend is a psychiatrist and came to visit and realized I was not ok.
#41
Don't stand up immediately after giving birth without a spill pad on the floor. I had natural child birth. The nurse left the room, and I got up to go pee. Blood-colorered fluid rushed out of me and into a huge puddle on the floor. I just stood there, shocked. The nurse came back in almost immediately. She shook her head and blamed herself. She said she forgot to tell me not to get up until she put down towels or stuff because the vast majority of new mothers couldn't get out of bed due to numbing meds.
#42
You will probably be very low on iron. Iron supplements will probably make you VERY sick.
Kellogs cereal (such as frosted mini wheats) have 100% of your daily value of iron in a serving. Put two measuring cups of it in a ziplock bag and snack on them during the day.
Francesca Annoni 1 month ago
I have always had very heavy menstrual cycles, my blood iron levels have always been low, during pregnancy for the first time, not having a period, my iron levels were perfect!!
#43
If you have laboured to full dilation you can *still* wind up with an emergency c-section, so you don't get the "at least you can sit down/your baby has a nice round head" 'benefits' of not delivering vaginally.
If your baby's head is stuck in the birth canal when they do the c-section in these circumstances, freeing it comes with a really juicy squelching 'pop' - breaking the suction. Quite unnerving to hear.
Beth Wheeler 1 month ago
That didn't happen with my emergency C-section because of my baby being face up instead of face down and my pelvis closed up instead of opening up
#44
You secrete a disgustingly rank fluid called lochia for over a month after giving birth, in addition to blood. For 8 weeks my v****a smelled worse than Satan’s a*****e.
#45
The Latin word for cake is placenta.
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Maim 1 month ago
They should make all teenagers read this thread. Would be highly effective birth control. *Shudders*
Betsy S 4 weeks ago
I arranged for my 15 yr old daughter to be the labour coach of a family friend. Worked like a charm. She had her first child at 32.
Load More Replies...
Robyn Hill 1 month ago
Just give this to every teenage girl and make them read it. Teen pregnancies will plummet. OMG, I have never felt more vindicated in my decision to never have kids.
StrangeOne 1 month ago
Not always the case. We had early s*x ed, contraceptive education, you name it. What I didn't have was a stable home, with a stable, present mom in my teen years and met someone 3 years old than me who was friends with other teen parents, and I felt a bit out of the club. I didn't know at the time I was being coerced and groomed.
Load More Replies... Maim 1 month ago
They should make all teenagers read this thread. Would be highly effective birth control. *Shudders*
Betsy S 4 weeks ago
I arranged for my 15 yr old daughter to be the labour coach of a family friend. Worked like a charm. She had her first child at 32.
Load More Replies... Robyn Hill 1 month ago
Just give this to every teenage girl and make them read it. Teen pregnancies will plummet. OMG, I have never felt more vindicated in my decision to never have kids.
StrangeOne 1 month ago
Not always the case. We had early s*x ed, contraceptive education, you name it. What I didn't have was a stable home, with a stable, present mom in my teen years and met someone 3 years old than me who was friends with other teen parents, and I felt a bit out of the club. I didn't know at the time I was being coerced and groomed.
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