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The wonderful thing about love is that it lets us accept a person even with all their flaws. And mistakes. And all the other sub-optimal things that go along with being human. The clueless, yet sweet man is a staple of sitcoms, a reflection of so many real people who act similarly. So when you find a partner who still loves you after you did a cosmically dumb series of actions, that’s how you know it’s real.

A netizen wanted to know what moronic things men have done while dating that their partners still overlooked and even decided to marry them. So scroll through these tales with a happy ending and upvote the dumbest choices these men made and comment your own stories. 

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#1

30 Married Men Share The Dumbest Things They Did While Dating That Their Future Wives Could've Left Them For For our second date I had invited her out with myself and some friends to celebrate a friend getting a job. I drank. Heavily. She was my DD. She drove me home and as she pulled up to the curb I threw open the door, rolled out of the car, and vomited into the gutter. She then offered to help me cross the street, to which I responded by yelling "I'M DISGUSTING" and sprinting across the street. Once inside, I brushed my teeth aggressively. She asked what I was doing and I told her I needed to clean my mouth so I could kiss her. After I was done, I walked to my room, laid down, and immediately fell asleep. She spent the night to make sure I was okay.

I'm now holding our baby girl who was born just last week. I asked her at one point why she stayed with me through that and she said it was because even though I was p**s drunk, the whole time I was still gentle and kind, asked her if she was having fun, and introduced her to everyone I knew. I'm a lucky guy.

EDIT: TIL that brushing your teeth after vomiting is bad.

andrewguenther , EKATERINA BOLOVTSOVA Report

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Grace Smith
Grace Smith
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Okay team, I was curious as to why brushing your teeth after vomiting is bad and here’s what I found: “It is best to rinse your mouth out after vomiting That's because throwing up leaves stomach acid in your mouth, and when you brush immediately after, you are actually rubbing that highly destructive acid into your teeth.”

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#2

We was sitting at movie theater when movie got over she said wanna mess around said sure was winter took her to old parking lot and proceeded to do donuts with car. She was pure white as a ghost and her eyes almost poped out of her head. She then screams you f*****g idiot I meant fool around sexually lol. Will be married 18 years in few months. Now she specifically spells out when she want to fool around and not car wise.

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Loverboy
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You sounds great lol, I like how your mind immediately went to having fun with a car and not sex

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#3

30 Married Men Share The Dumbest Things They Did While Dating That Their Future Wives Could've Left Them For Not my story, but my parents:
Some backstory - My dad has a brother who’s only a couple years older. Growing up, they’d commonly try to steal food off each other’s plates just to be a******s to each other. This was remedied by plate guarding and defensive maneuvers with utensils if hands got too close.

On my parent’s first date, my mom reached for something to try off my dad’s plate and he instinctively stabbed her hand with his fork - drew blood and everything. He was obviously mortified
Glad my mom was crazy enough to keep dating, marry, and procreate with the fork stabber.

mollyjean- , Klaus Nielsen Report

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One advantage of there being less pressure to get married these days is that people can take their time with a partner, get to know them, and see how they work together. Some of these dumb decisions are truly inspired, but the silver lining is that their partner can see them at their worst before making a commitment. The average time from the first date to the wedding in the US is around two years, though this number, like most averages, is skewed by those who take nearly a decade and the few who think they can reach a decision in a few weeks. To each their own I guess.

Dumb actions can even be a way to stress-test a relationship. Couples get to see each other in uncomfortable positions, deal with resolving disagreements, and understand what the other thinks is a normal date. It’s also a testament to how much each party likes or dislikes the other. If you are willing to give a person another chance after some of these events, you must really like them. 
#4

30 Married Men Share The Dumbest Things They Did While Dating That Their Future Wives Could've Left Them For I made myself a burger for dinner before heading over to her place to hang out. Unfortunately I'm not the best cook and left a little too much pink in that burger. While we were at her house I bet her I could fit through the doggy door and crawled right through. Then she immediately closed it behind me and we raced to the front door, she won and she locked it. Now at this exact moment my bowels decided they had enough of that burger from earlier and I felt my stomach cramp. Luckily I held it all in and ran back to the back door with my cheeks clenched and starting knocking desperately in the door. She was laughing at first but when she saw my face go suddenly serious and I said very calmly "I need you to open the door.... Now please." She unlocked the door and asked if I was okay, I told her to stay downstairs and turn the TV up loud. She agreed but was very confused. So I ran upstairs and then had one of the most violent s***s of my whole life. I thought the worst was behind me until I went to wipe.... And of course no TP. So she took my instructions really well and when I yelled to her, texted her, and called her I got no answer. After probably like 10 missed calls she finally answered and I asked her to bring me some TP and leave outside the door and try not to breathe on the way upstairs. She was great about it and immediately started making fun of me when I came back downstairs. Now quite a few years later a couple kids and cat, she's still making fun of me.

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Loverboy
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Honestly I was expecting him to get stuck in the doggy door and s**t his pants in front of her.

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#5

I get very nervous around women that are into me and especially when I know she's watching me do something. Even something trivial.

On an early date, we went to the local shop to pick up some things for a picnic, including some gum. I was thinking really hard and aware that I was being watched.

I had this. Money on the counter, gum in your mouth. Money on the counter, gum in your mouth. Easy.

Suffice to say when I put the gum on the counter and the €2 coin in my mouth, the cashier was baffled and my girlfriend (now wife) was crying with laughter.

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#6

30 Married Men Share The Dumbest Things They Did While Dating That Their Future Wives Could've Left Them For I once spear-tackled my then-girlfriend out of misplaced enthusiasm in high school. I was excited to see her and handled it as badly as was possible. It was in front of a bunch of our friends and I ended up knocking the wind out of her and making her cry. That was about 17 years ago, and we're still together.

I also licked my plate at a fancy restaurant because the salad dressing was so good. She still brings that one up every few years.

Edit: My most-upvoted comment ever is me recounting my most shameful relationship fails. The internet is weird. Plate-lickers unite!

literalfeces , RODNAE Productions Report

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Sometimes even a bad situation can strengthen an experience in the long term. Solidarity, after all, is a good social bond. It might be a bit weaker when your partner is also the one that causes the problem, but I digress. Still, there is a reason “through thick and thin” is a common marriage vow. Plus dumb dating stories always make great jokes on some social occasions, something to laugh about together. 
#7

30 Married Men Share The Dumbest Things They Did While Dating That Their Future Wives Could've Left Them For She was about to sneeze and she was sitting half on my lap so I kinda thought she was gonna sneeze on me and idk what I was thinking but I put my hand up to block her sneeze except I had a glass in my hand and I blocked her own hand from covering her sneeze and instead she slammed her face into my glass.

Married 6 years now. She still has all her teeth.

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#8

30 Married Men Share The Dumbest Things They Did While Dating That Their Future Wives Could've Left Them For We drank a lot on our second date, Ubered home. Next day went back to get his car, and it wasn't there. He was so devastated. He just bought it recently and it was stolen. We filed a police report. Took forever and just generally sucked. We walked to his friend's house nearby, and there was his car, perfectly un-stolen. He drank so much he forgot he moved it before our date. Now, once in a while when we're trying to find our car in the grocery store parking lot or wherever, one of us will say "It's stolen. Call the police."

loveofmoz , Zach Tirrel Report

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Loverboy
Loverboy
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I love this, a silly mistake turned into an inside joke and a relationship..

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#9

30 Married Men Share The Dumbest Things They Did While Dating That Their Future Wives Could've Left Them For Turned her down when she suggested we go on a date. Read as: I'm super awkward

I was working for Starbucks, she was a regular customer. I was new in town and noticed her a couple times, she was a regular customer and we got to some small talk, chatting about places to eat. She said there's an amazing taco place down the road, we should go sometime. I misheard her, thinking she said "you should go sometime". I replied with "I'll definitely check it out!" I handed her a drink and she left very awkwardly.

She was back in the next day and, against all odds, I was able to clear up the misunderstanding and I wrote my number on her Starbucks cup.

We went to that taco place for our first date and she was right, it was amazing.

3 years married and 2 kids later... Really glad she saw through my awkwardness.

MadHarryRackham , Tirachard Kumtanom Report

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Now, there might even be a method to most respondents’ madness, or dumbness, as it were. A happy, positive, and optimistic person is generally more likable than someone who is perpetually a sad-sack, all other variables being equal. Well, while this might be a bit of a conjuncture, there is some evidence that people with lower IQ scores report overall better social lives and higher rates of happiness. There are other variables that affect this, from urban density to the number of friends, but at the end of the day, a somewhat dumb but cheerful person makes for a better time than a grouch that happens to be smart. Problem-solving skills do not necessarily translate to a fun time. 

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#10

30 Married Men Share The Dumbest Things They Did While Dating That Their Future Wives Could've Left Them For Little late to the party but here's my story: when we had only been dating a month or so my then boyfriend went to pick me up (I assume) and accidentally threw my head through the ceiling and gave me a concussion. He's 6'8" and just really misjudged the distance. I also had a hard time getting used to his height and very regularly kneed him in the balls for about two years while cuddling so I think we're even. We've been together six years now and proud to say we haven't injured each other in about four.

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#11

30 Married Men Share The Dumbest Things They Did While Dating That Their Future Wives Could've Left Them For The night I met my husband, he stared at me while I was sleeping. For 4 hours straight. It's been 3 years. He still stares at me until I scold him for it. Then he waits until he thinks I won't notice and starts staring again. 🤦

I love him to the moon and back, even though he'd sure as hell stare at me the entire trip.

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Loverboy
Loverboy
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Am I the only one confused why she's okay with this? Maybe it's just me, but if someone stared at me for 4 hours while I slept, I probably wouldn't talk to them again.

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#12

Not me, but my first door neighbors story. I didn't know their story untill one day another friend told me what happened, and she confirmed it.

She was at a party, and caught him looking at her every now and then, she kinda liked him so she decided to make the first move. She took a few shots for courage and went in. As time passed by she continued to drink while talking to him, and got pissed drunk, like not being able to walk drunk. He was a type of guy that didnt drink that much at all, and presumed she can drink a lot, but when she stood up from couch after few hours the alcohol swept her to the ground. So as a gentleman he offered to carry her home. Note that was when we were late teens, no car, no money. So he started pigy back her home, that was like 30-45mins walk, like normal sober walk. He managed to carry her on his back about 500meters from her home, and stoped to take a brake for a moment, his back hurt him AF, so he decided to carry her in his arms. A few steps away, and he notices very unpleasant smell, since he isnt from our "parts" and it was rural area, he asked barely conscious her what is that f*****g stink.

She just mumbeled, I shat my pants, than proceeded to pass out in his arms. Only coming back to mumble, f**k sorry, and passing out again. So what guy does? He brings her home and lies her on floor, since he was afraid of messing up her bed or couch, and left home. BUT, few moments after he comes ,back, wakes her up and asks would she mind if he helped her shower, since she cant sleep 8h al shat up, mostly because its not hygenc, safe, and her whole house and everything would smell, she agreed, and after he bathe her she asked him to sleep in her bed, in case she needed him.


So one time I asked guy how the f**k did he got over that, he said they clicked at the first glance, and he just felt that he needs to take care of her because he took responsibility to bring her home all allright. And if she said no to bathing he would back off, but then wouldnt be with her, cuz s******g yourself while dead drunk is still understandable, but sleeping whole day like that would be too nasty. He laid besides her untill she fell asleep, and then watched TV untill she woke up.


They were inseparable since then. Since that first "date" I have never seen them apart. It's been almost 15yrs since then, and just recently they got beautifull little daughter.

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Loverboy
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is one of the nicest stories I've read. What a nice guy, a lot of guys would've done much differently given the chance.

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Mary Mosher
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is a sweet story, and he is a gentleman. I'm a little confused, though ... a line in the story says "late teens, no car, no money ..." so I expected him escorting her home would be to her parent's house. How does a late teen with no car or money have their own apartment?

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Madster
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I was curious about that too. Also, did she not have a female friend who could have come with?

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Mike_The_Nike
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

what does being from around there have to do with s******g ur pants?

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AK to LV
AK to LV
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Where I grew up, once you were out of the city limits, I think it was called dog weed that you would get whiffs of that smelled like dog poo.

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On top of that, while many of these actions were by most standards pretty dumb, particularly on a date, they were memorable. In a crowded dating market, if you don’t have the cash for an extra fancy event, you need to do something unexpected. Something that shows you are vulnerable. If you know you are a dumb person, first off, congratulations, it’s important to know thyself. Secondly, you are likely to do something dumb again. So you need a partner, like the ones here, who is willing to put up with it. So a dumb action is just the sieve you use to find your soul mate.
#13

30 Married Men Share The Dumbest Things They Did While Dating That Their Future Wives Could've Left Them For Flicked a dime at her head. We were playing table football. Not sure what I was thinking. She has a scar. I kiss it every night before we go to bed. We are married and have three kids.

Edit: Thanks for the silver and all the upvotes! First time!

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Loverboy
Loverboy
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I guess i can see this, just depends what they did after they flicked the dime at my head.

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#14

30 Married Men Share The Dumbest Things They Did While Dating That Their Future Wives Could've Left Them For When I kneeled to propose I landed on a sharp rock and we had to go to the ER because it lodged in my kneecap.


Edit:

Wow. Did not expect this to get so many upvotes!

My wife demands I make a minor correction to adequately embarrass myself... She said that I can’t tell the story and leave out her absolute favorite detail: because of the kneecap situation, I forgot to actually ask. She thought I got nervous and froze up and decided to save me by just saying yes. She also stopped me from pulling the rock out of my kneecap with my trusty leatherman which turned out to be the correct decision. She was a little bummed that I wasn’t simply choked with emotion, but the situation as a whole is (now) a very fond memory.


Sidenote: driving a manual transmission with a rock sticking out of ones kneecap is not super fun.

Mister_Brevity , Daniel Moises Magulado Report

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#15

30 Married Men Share The Dumbest Things They Did While Dating That Their Future Wives Could've Left Them For My husband kept calling me by the name of his previous girl friend on our first date. I finally told him to give her a call because they clearly had unfinished business to talk about. He did and she reminded him why he was happy to have her out of his life. And he never called me by her name again. 40 years later and it seems to have worked out in my favor.

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#16

30 Married Men Share The Dumbest Things They Did While Dating That Their Future Wives Could've Left Them For On our second date, I arrived 1h late. When I went to greet her with a little hug (yep, that's how we greet people around here) I accidentally knocked her phone off her hand. It hit the ground and cracked the screen, but I wasn't sure if it was already cracked. I apologized, she said it was ok and that the screen was already like that before.

Almost a year later she confessed that I actually broke her phone that day. She had just gotten it from her mom (all phones she ever had were second hand, very simple ones) and she couldn't afford a new one at the time, but still she lied and kept using the broken phone so I wouldn't feel bad. My heart sank.

We've been married for two years now and I've given her a brand new flagship phone every year ever since.

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Loverboy
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

An hour late? And you broke her phone? Man she is very forgiving

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#17

30 Married Men Share The Dumbest Things They Did While Dating That Their Future Wives Could've Left Them For Played Weird Al CDs non-stop for a 6-hour car trip to the beach.

She didn’t ditch me but haven’t been allowed to play Weird Al in her presence for the past 24 years. Got tickets to see him this year on our anniversary and knew better than to ask her to join me so I took a couple of my kids that appreciate the finer things in life. Best anniversary gift ever. Great show.

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#18

30 Married Men Share The Dumbest Things They Did While Dating That Their Future Wives Could've Left Them For Insisted that everything in San Francisco was walking distance from everything else, and decided we should walk from Pier 39 to Golden Gate Park. It IS walkable, but not third-date walkable, or whatever-shoes-she-happened-to-be-wearing-that-day walkable.

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Loverboy
Loverboy
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm not walking 5 miles no matter what shoes I'm wearing, thank you.

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#19

30 Married Men Share The Dumbest Things They Did While Dating That Their Future Wives Could've Left Them For Accidentally set her hair on fire with a match while lighting a cigarette. Not good. We are still married 29 years later. I dont smoke anymore.

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#20

Transitioning from that uncomfortable to the comfortable phase. I was sitting across the room while she did homework. I farted pretty loudly and she looked me in the eyes and fired back. Luckily I had another in the chamber and asserted my dominance, to my surprise which she matched for a second time, but even louder. Having this all happen in a span of ~2 seconds and thinking it was pretty funny, I tried to top her by forcing one more out to reign supreme. Well.... let’s just say it wasn’t a fart I forced out.... one of her favorite stories to tell close friends and family. We’ve been married for going on 4 years though, so l guess it all worked out for me.

TLDR: s**t yourself in front of potential mates if you wanna get married

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#21

30 Married Men Share The Dumbest Things They Did While Dating That Their Future Wives Could've Left Them For I know what my husband would say, because I still tease him to this day.

We had been dating for two weeks and were spooning on his futon, watching a movie. Out of nowhere he says, "I'm really sorry, I can't hold it in anymore." And rips a HUGE fart.

My husband was a very clean, tight knit, prudish kind of guy, so I couldn't help but let out the biggest laugh while he turned about as red as his beard.

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#22

30 Married Men Share The Dumbest Things They Did While Dating That Their Future Wives Could've Left Them For My husband broke my thumb one night when we were slightly tipsy. Horse play got too rough and I think (drunk memory) he slammed my hand against something. we both heard the pop and I went to tears.

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Xandra
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Mine slammed my head on a table (nothing broke, head or furniture...) at a party at a friend's place. We were dancing with him holding me up and my legs around his waist, he leaned me back while spinning... It wasn't fun at the moment, but it is now, it still comes up sometimes when we meet our friends, some 25 years later. P.S. We were about 20, I was lighter and his back was better...

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#23

Wife was a devout animal lover and activist. Planned proposal at a fancy Tokyo restaurant that only takes 3 tables a night and has 11 courses, which was filled with all sorts of innovative things so you’re never quite sure what’s coming next.

In between one of the courses the chef brings out a cute little glass bowl for us to play with some squid. The chef informs us these are firefly squid that’s local to the bay. My wife is delighted and practically named them.

Two courses later they reappeared... as entrees, floating on a glass plate lit up from below and arranged to look like they’re swimming.

She still said yes but have never let me forgot that I took her on literally the worst dining experience she had, and I had paid the most ever for.

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Lea Panthera
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Who on earth thought it was a good idea to let customers get personally attached to animals they're about to eat?

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#24

Wife here! About 3 weeks into dating, my husband thought it would be romantic to pick me up and spin me around in his driveway. Unfortunately, it was not his most brilliant idea and he tripped and we fell right on to the concrete next to my car.

Reader, he landed on top of me.

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#25

30 Married Men Share The Dumbest Things They Did While Dating That Their Future Wives Could've Left Them For I was sitting on the couch as we were playing Wii bowling. She was standing behind the couch, lovingly holding me. I draw back the Wii mote and WHAM! I wack her in the face with the Wii mote at full strength. Her mom was also in the room.

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Loverboy
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1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As soon as I saw "Wii bowling" I knew exactly where this was going.

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#26

30 Married Men Share The Dumbest Things They Did While Dating That Their Future Wives Could've Left Them For My uncle didn't call his now-wife for over a year after they first met and he got her number. He kept the paper she wrote it on and ended up finding it and calling her asking if she still remembered him and was still interested in going on a date.

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Leo Domitrix
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"Hi, it's been a year, wanna date?" would get this resopnse from me: "Wait, who are you?", LOL

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#27

30 Married Men Share The Dumbest Things They Did While Dating That Their Future Wives Could've Left Them For It wasn't until after we were married that my wife told me that I almost didn't get a second date because I talked waaaaaaaaaaaay too much during the movie. I don't really remember it but apparently I was leaning over every 30 seconds or so to tell her what I was thinking. Also, "Valkyrie", with Tom Cruise probably wasn't that great of a date movie, but it all worked out in the end.

ETA: Please forgive me my movie-talking sins, everybody. I was a dumb teenager and she's really pretty. I was just quite anxious for things to go well.

ItsProbablyAVulture , Pavel Danilyuk Report

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The Deez
The Deez
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My husband and I pretty much commentate all the way through movies we watch together! LOL! Most of the time we're watching at home, just the two of us, so it doesn't bother anyone!

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#28

I got fairly intoxicated and decided to tie a towel around my shoulders while completely naked and run in front of her on FaceTime screaming look at my dangle.

Edit: she has informed me I am mistaken. I was wearing a shirt but no pants or underwear and it was a blanket, not a towel.

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happiness go brrrrrr
happiness go brrrrrr
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

imagine calling your boyfriend and you get this- 'lOoK aT mY dOnGlE!'

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#29

My husband told me on our first date “just so you know, if we ever have a son, he needs to be named after me. I’m the fifth and I could never break the tradition.”

I thought it was a suuuuuuper weird thing to say on a first date, but thankfully I decided to overlook that red flag.

14 years later our son, named after him, just turned 3.

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#30

In college I got a pretty severe bronchial infection. I had a fever of 103 and felt pretty useless. My boyfriend (now husband of 12 years) says he is going to go rent some movies from blockbuster and come back so we can just chill for the weekend while I'm resting. Blockbuster was a 5 minute drive from our apartment. An hour goes by and he's not back. I call his cell phone and he doesn't answer. Another hour goes by and I call again, no answer. Two more hours go by, I'm blowing up his cell phone and terrified that he got in an accident and I have no way of going out to look for him. An hour later (5 hours after he left) he calls me and says he's on his way home. He went to a friend's house to help him rebuild the engine in his car. It took a long a long time for me to not be pissed at him. And I still get mad thinking about it.

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#31

30 Married Men Share The Dumbest Things They Did While Dating That Their Future Wives Could've Left Them For Not the married man but on probably our third or fourth date, my man, mixed our soups. I got a watermelon gazpacho (a cold soup) and he got a seafood bisque. Im a sharer so we both tasted and didnt love mine but we loved his. After the tasting, he boldly yet nervously states "mine is so great; i got this" while pouring our two soups into one. It was the worst luke warm thing ive ever tasted. Five years later and weve never mixed soups again...too risky.

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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Watermelon seafood. I want to gag. That defeats the entire purpose of ordering two different soups.

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#32

Told my then-boyfriend at the time that I wanted to have sex for the first time and he made me wait until his Magic the Gathering tournament was over

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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And that, ladies and gentlemen is why nerds have a hard time getting/keeping partners 😅 (don't shoot me, I'm a nerd too)

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#33

30 Married Men Share The Dumbest Things They Did While Dating That Their Future Wives Could've Left Them For I forgot her name once when introducing her to a friend. This was maybe a month into our relationship. I was all like, "hey and by the way this is.... uhhh.... my girlfriend."

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BookFanatic
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Hah! I did that once. We'd been together for ten years. He demanded to know what I thought I was doing...living with some random dude whose name I didn't even know. lol

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#34

My now-wife offered to have me lick chocolate syrup off her body, and my first words were...... “Is it organic?”
-Hubby (posting on wife’s acct)

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#35

day after the second date: i was in a s****y financial situation, my power got turned off and i was distraught. She came over, brought takeout, we ate dinner, hung out and just talked until it was too dark to see, then we went to bed. mind you this bed was a cobbled together full size mattress resting on a queen frame/box, and she didnt bat an eye. Not once has she cared about what i had, only who i am. Been married since march.

EDIT: My first ever silver??!?! Thank you!
EDIT EDIT: Gold? You kind soul. Also, I told her and she corrected my memory of it. That night she got us a pizza and we went out and sat in a parking lot and ate it and talked until it was dark. Mind like a steel trap.

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#36

Married my HS sweetheart, been together 3 years now. Asked her out via text (I was a shy teen), started it with the phrase "Would you say we have a mutual attraction?" Second best question I ever asked her.

Edit: The best question I asked her was "Will you marry me?" Cheesy as hell, but here we are.

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#37

30 Married Men Share The Dumbest Things They Did While Dating That Their Future Wives Could've Left Them For I had just started a job working with her and (unbeknownst to me at the time) her mom. Her mom and I did not get along. My move was “What’s up with that thick b***h [insert name]”. She said “Oh, I’ll tell my mom you said hi”. I.was.Ded. But hey here’s we are married 16 years so...

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#38

I ate the last bit of food on his plate.
You know the one you leave for last because it will be the perfect ending of your meal?
The one you pretty much wait since the beginning of the meal?
Exactly that one, I stole it from his plate.

Edit: wow peeps, my most upvoted post.
Bit of backstory: it was our third date, and our first time out for dinner.
I honestly though the date was a huge fail, and that's because he spent a good 45 minutes on the phone (emergency at work) leaving me inside,alone, staring at the ceiling.
When he got back in, he only talked about his work and how he had to be available pretty much 24h a day.
To me that sounded like an excuse, so I had a look at his plate and I noticed that last (delicious) bit.
And that's when I thought "well, f**k it, at least I'll ruin his night as he ruined mine"
So yeah, it was definitely intentional.

That was 12 years ago ;)

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#39

It was our first date and first time ever meeting (tinder). I told her beforehand that I’m so excited to meet her and that I won’t stop hugging her for anything once we’re together in person.

Fast forward to when we first meet in the parking lot of a haunted house and I stay true to my word. Too true...she tried breaking away from the hug and I said “Nope! We’re gonna walk to the door of the haunted house while still hugging.” After about 4 steps of trying to walk/hug, I accidentally trip her and she falls right to the ground.

This was all within our first 30 seconds or so of meeting in person. We’ve been married 1 year as of this month!

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#40

30 Married Men Share The Dumbest Things They Did While Dating That Their Future Wives Could've Left Them For On our first dinner date, my husband ordered a s**t ton of food to show me his favorites at an Indian restaurant - and forgot his wallet at home, and only discovered doing so when the check had arrived.

Cleared me out well over a hundred bucks and he was absolutely mortified, but we've been married for near two years so

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#41

30 Married Men Share The Dumbest Things They Did While Dating That Their Future Wives Could've Left Them For We were taking a shower together and she was soaping up while I was under the hot water rinsing off and she slipped and instead of grabbing/helping her I pulled away, thinking for some reason that I’d already rinsed off and didn’t want to get soapy. Thank god she caught herself on the shower curtain and didn’t get hurt. She was, uh, not happy. My explanation of my faulty thinking didn’t help at all, either. We laugh about it now but it took some serious smoothing over at the time.

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#42

Wife here, but about three weeks into dating, my husband invited me to a house party at his best friends place. We were playing beer pong having fun. The other team is up, they toss the ball, I lean forward to try to block it, my now husband extends his hand out in front of me at the same time, catching the ball but at the same time hitting me in the eye and some how pulling out 3/4 of my eyelashes. He felt terrible about it and tried to burn off his eyelashes in drunken sympathy. He hates when I bring it up but I think it is the funniest story!

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#43

I can tell you for him. We were leaving his new apartment. Keep in mind we’ve been dating for a short amount of time. We haven’t been through a lot of firsts yet. His apartment was on the back of the building so we had to walk through a small passage to get to the other side in order to leave. Imagine this passage is slightly shadowed but the light shoots through it so it creates this romantic silhouette. As we left his apartment and walked into this passage area he grabs my hand and pulls me towards himself (I’m thinking awe he is going to put my hand around his waist, how romantic!), locks my hand on his butt and loudly farts. It was a very brave move for a new couple.

We’ve been married for 13 years now.

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#44

30 Married Men Share The Dumbest Things They Did While Dating That Their Future Wives Could've Left Them For On my first date with my wife, we got to talking about tattoos. I have a rule that if I have an idea for a tattoo, I sit on it for a while to see if I really would still want it. I mentioned this to her and explain how glad I am that I do this because otherwise I'd be covered in Tool (the band) tattoos or some "other dumb s**t". She rolled up her sleeve to show me that she had the lyrics to one of their songs tattooed across her arm.

EDIT: The lyrics are "All this pain is an illusion" from Parabola.

For the record, I don't really hate Tool. I just used to be super into them in high school and have since grown out of them. I still put them on once in a while.

EDIT2: My oldest brother unironically has a Creed tattoo on his leg. There's always somebody out there who has it worse than you.

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#45

I didn’t really do it but I thought he would be weirded out anyways. Very first time he stayed at my house (after about three hours of my two male roommates trying to make him uncomfortable), we went to bed and he put his contacts in two shot glasses of water because he had no case with him. I don’t know if that’s a dumb thing to do. I’ve never worn them. Maybe we were drinking and that seemed like a good idea? Anyways... he had never had a pet and was kind of weirded out by my cat standing beside him and yell-meowing at him all night (“Is that normal? Is he mad at me or something?”). Woke up the next day to find out the cat drank all the water from the shot glasses, contacts included. I had to help him home because he is seriously blind without them. He still wanted to see me again even though the night was weird, and the cat became his best friend, despite some initial skepticism on both their parts.

Edit: I just asked him why we put his contacts in water and he said it was contact solution from one of my roommates who had contacts but no spare case for him to borrow so we used the shot glasses. Makes so much more sense. And Chuki was fine after drinking the solution, though we did call the vet. Totally forgot that part. Well, it was 17 years ago...

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#46

30 Married Men Share The Dumbest Things They Did While Dating That Their Future Wives Could've Left Them For My dad stalked my mom. They worked at a buisness together and he had a huge crush on her. He would sniff her coat when no one was looking, over hear conversations to learn what she liked and stare at her constantly while she worked at her desk. It worked out of course, because plot twist my mom stalked him right back, having on seperate occasions followed him home and try to find out places he liked to hang out. They have been married for almost thirty five years and they are the happiest couple I know.

Wow this blew up more than I thought it would. I guess that whole yandere thing makes people love drama like this.

To answer some popular questions, no, it's not a like a wierd anime. Maybe. With some details I left out, I guess I made it sound that way, but they are very much in love and happy. Do I find it creepy? Yes, but I was the outcome, so I think it turned out great. And am I stalker myself? I will admit, yes, during my high schook years I did (in less odd ways) stalk about two crushes and no, they did not like me back.

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Francis
Francis
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

back in highschool i was like a detective when it came to stalking my crushes.. i knew their names, their hobbies, their classes. I would optimize my route through school to see them and all off that. All that without talking to them ever.. LOL

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#47

We met our first day of high school so there are many. My least (her family's) favorite is when I left her messages. This was before cell phones and her parents owned a business. They set their voicemail in a business manner in that you dial one for father, two for mother and so on. I found out later it was practice for their office line and that this line went to the same recording. No matter what. I left so many messages of call me ramblings. They. Were. On. Vacation. Her, her four siblings and her parents listened to it all on speaker. In. A. Van. We kept it secret for years. Until we didn't. It's never stopped.

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#48

Dated 3 Jen’s at the same time, so dame confusing. Dad, thanks for taking a message, but which Jen?

Edit: wife knows since it is a popular joke in the family. She found out the day she meet the parents. Married 24 years.

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#49

Soon to be wife here, when we first met, it was during an introduction class or something like that; he kept kissing the teacher’s a*s and talking waaaaaay to much and just being kinda of a show off, I wanted to punch him in the face.

Come to find out he’s in almost all my classes and for lunch a couple of girls and I decided to go to McDonald’s he invited himself, I was annoyed .

Two months into our relationship he confessed that he saw me and was intrigued and wanted to get to know me so he did everything to get my attention, he’s an extrovert, I’m an introvert. I’m surprised he managed to actually get my attention

We’ve been together for 10 years getting married on September 23

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#50

We were both 18, I didn't have a job at the time, met on a dating website. We went out to a coffee shop for first date. I told my Mom about it, so she gave me $5. When we went to order, I told her "You can get what you want, my Mom gave me $5" She looked at me funny, said that's okay, to get what I wanted she can pay her own thing. Proceeded to spill chocolate milk down my shirt. Been married for 15 years to her. :D

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#51

Everything... Just... Really everything.

Our first kiss is the one that sticks out in my mind. We kissed and right as we kiss some air moves in my throat, sounded like a burp but it wasn't. It seemed like I burped right into her mouth and I was mortified. She now knows it wasn't a burp, but at the time...not so much.

I'm such a lucky fool and had some big blunders early while learning who I am and who she is. I'm lucky someone so wonderful saw past the stupid young person I was.

Edit: Thanks for the silver kind person, robot, alien, whoever/whatever you may be! May today be a glorious day!

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*•.¸𝕘๏๏𝘴ê𝕘๏𝔡¸.•*
*•.¸𝕘๏๏𝘴ê𝕘๏𝔡¸.•*
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

THE GOOSEGOD IS OFFENDED! GOOSE ARMY FIND THEM AND DESTROY THEM UNTIL YOUR BEAKS ARE POWDER! HOW DARE SHE FORGET THE GOOSEGOD!

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#52

30 Married Men Share The Dumbest Things They Did While Dating That Their Future Wives Could've Left Them For When we were dating, my husband and I were holding hands when he had to cough. Instead of letting go of my hand and covering his mouth, he continued to hold on, brought it up to his mouth and coughed into my hand.

It was a dry cough. If it was anything more I would have run.

Edit: HE had to cough. Not we. Ugh.

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#53

30 Married Men Share The Dumbest Things They Did While Dating That Their Future Wives Could've Left Them For First date with my wife. End of the night I went to kiss her on the cheek being all sweet and s**t.

She thought I was leaning in for a hug and leaned in too. As she leaned in I turned my head and instead of her cheek I kissed her neck. Turned super red and embarrassed then goodbye and almost pushed her out of the door at my apartment. I immediately texted her sorry as well and she laughed.

Three years into marriage she apparently didn’t care.

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#54

She had an XBox and staying the night. She woke up to me playing some arcadey hockey game and providing commentary of "Gooooooaal Goal Goal Goal."

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#55

Had a panic attack in a restaurant and walked out leaving her with the tab. Years later we have a kid now. Guess Im doing something right 🤔

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#56

I'm the wife but hubby said I can share. We met when he moved in next door and one day he proceeded to invite himself over for dinner and a movie. He was cooking the dinner and let a massive fart rip. I looked at him and he just looked back and said that's his mating call. It made me laugh so much. I barely even knew the guy but it oddly enough made me feel more comfortable around him lol

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#57

I was already on felony probation for possession of a controlled substance and hadn't gotten my s**t together yet, and she knew it. Somehow this clean cut girl decided it wasn't too bad a red flag when on our second date I went to the bathroom to hit a rail at Whataburger. We got married a year after that and I guess it's cool bc I've been clean for 4 years

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#58

I'm the wife - probably a year into us dating we fought about something neither of is can remember now. To make up for it he went and bought us both dessert which was a sweet gesture. Of course he went and did it right after dinner, so I was still full and said I would shower and eat it when I finished my shower.

Well, when I was in the shower he decided for some godforsaken reason to eat the dessert he bought for me (after eating his own serving of it). Everyone who has heard the story is very surprised our relationship lasted after that night. I did bring it up in my vows as an example of how I'll love him even when it's not the easiest thing to do :P

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#59

I didn't ask her for her number the first time we hung out, knowing I may never see her again. My brother got it and I later got it from him.

Edit: a number of people asked why, so here's why.
A friend of mine, a girl who was a social butterfly had met her at a party and brought her over to my place. I lived there with my brother and a friend. We were watching the movie goodfellas when they arrived. I had seen the movie a few times before, so I ended up going to sleep before it was over. I had to work early the next day and it was already pushing 1am. I found out later that my brother was being a bro, because he did it thinking about me and my wife wasn't really interested in my brother in that regard.

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#60

Child of dolt here:

My parents were getting pretty close to the "engagement" step when my mom broke her foot. My dad's friends were having a house party and even though my mom was tired, limited, and in pain, she agreed to go with him--on the condition they'd leave when she wanted and that my dad would keep himself sober enough to drive back.

Well, Dad got too into the party, drank more than he should have, and brushed off my mom's first request to leave. Mom had to tell him she'd drive herself home and leave him there unless he pulled himself away from his friends and left with her.

Dad finally said his goodbyes, but he was proper sloshed so they had to wait a bit longer so my dad could drink water and hopefully sober up enough.

Nope.

Mom had to drive the both of them home.

Dad slept/passed out on the couch that night, and my mom was pretty much ready to dump him.

Somehow, they worked things out and they got married a few months later.

My mom hasn't *totally* gotten over it, but she's overlooked it enough to only bring up her boxed rage whenever my dad tells the "I am so lucky she married me after that" story.

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#61

On one of our first 5 dates my husband told me that he and his ex-wife were still very good friends and he hoped that some day she would be like an aunt to his kids.

I love this man, but he says some dumb stuff.

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#62

I decided to not shave for a few months since I was going to be serving in the jungles of Ecuador and wanted to be a wild man. As it turns out, a thick, blonde neckbeard isn't very attractive.

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#63

Not me, but my parents
During their FIRST DATE my mom ordered refried beans. My dad starts laughing and when my mom asks what he finds so funny, he says, "you ordered refried beans... That's cat diarrhea." Married almost 25 years with me and my 2 sisters

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#64

My husband and I were dating while I was studying for the Texas bar exam. I spent an entire summer practicing multiple choice questions, 8-10 hours a day. I made each question into a flash card. There were literally thousands stacked up in my room. CUT TO: about 3:00am on a Friday. We had gotten wasted off of cheap whiskey. So this dude I’m dating gets out of my bed, walks his drunk a*s over to the corner of my bedroom, and pisses. All over my bar flash cards. I was so mad I couldn’t even be mad. We’re happily married with two little kids now. And I passed the bar exam.

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#65

We were making out in her dorm, I was on top and I s**t my pants.

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#66

We had a couple great dates and things were looking promising. Then I got super busy at work and didn’t contact her for about 3 and a half weeks without giving her a heads up. She decided to move during this time. After things calmed down at work I text her again. We worked things long distance and finally got married. She reminds me that I didn’t ask her out again for a very long time every few months.

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#67

Where do I start....

...the first thing I can remember was telling her that her sorority sister had nice tits.

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#68

I dated her sister at the same time

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