This one actually happens a lot, but it happened to me one night several years ago during a graveyard shift.

I was working alone on a Sunday night at a gas station, now this wasn't a "bad" area but it wasn't great either so the GM figured that they didn't need two people watching the store. I disagreed with him, but I digress. I was in the back of the store mopping, doing my best to keep an eye out for people approaching the store so I could run back to the registers before they got inside. Anyway, I'm mopping when a van suddenly pulls up in reverse to the store. Just as I started to put the mop aside, literally no more than two seconds after this, the doors to the back open up and two dudes with sweaters tied around their heads jump out the back. They rush inside the store, yelling, run up to the counter and grab both of the teller machines. They rip out the power cords, run out of the store with their loot and jump into the back of the van. It speeds off and they hit the road. All of this happened in about twenty seconds, and I just stood there and watched it.

What these idiots didn't realize is that the machines are separate from the cash drawer for this very reason. They effectively made off with zero dollars, but did me a favor because I didn't have to work for the next two days since the store couldn't operate until they got the new machines in.

**tl;dr Idiot thieves stole inconsequential registers thinking that they were getting the money in the drawer under the counters with them.**.

Ok.. So about ten years ago when my parents owned a small takeaway shop, my dad would be filleting/skinning raw fish with a lon knife(about 40cm) and during the least busiest time this guy comes in and orders $2 fries then immediately pulling out a pocket knife without the knife extended and demanded all the cash in the till. Because my parents didn't understand English at all my mum just assume he had the pocket knife as a self defense tool and didn't respond. A few seconds later my dad comes to the counter due to all this yelling with the big Long knife the robber just ran away. Needless to say, we profited $2.

I once foiled a clever plan by an elderly man at the department store I used to work at. He had a blazer with countless hidden pockets and he was filling them with bottles of Oil of Olay moisturizer. The loss prevention guy called me to help corner him. As he was leaving the door, he saw that I was looking at him and started to run. We ran after him and he looked back at us. That's where he messed up, he tripped over his own feet and fell like a sack of potatoes. Most of the moisturizer bottles exploded and he was lubed neck to knee. He smelled fantastic though.

This just happened in my town. A man took a car — allegedly, since he hasn't been convicted — from an auto repair place after bashing apart the after-hours key box.

When police later found the car, they didn't have far to look. Inside the car was a McDonald's receipt and a receipt for the liquor store. Police simply went to both stores and got the video footage of the man going through the drive-thru and stopping at the liquor store in the stolen car.

They needn't have bothered.

Also inside the car was paperwork from the town's jail with the man's name on it.

An Aussie guy I know was out drinking in Canada with another Aussie mate, his mate left early to go back to the flat they were sharing in Vancouver and was accosted in a dark alley by two men with knives.

Being absolutely drunk he failed to pick up on the men's intent, or their knives and simply pushed them aside saying "Nah sorry mate, I'm Australian" and continued to go home.

The poor fellow later realized that he'd just brushed off two armed muggers by tell them he was Australian and ignoring them..

I work in a car audio store. Guy shows up wanting us to install his amplifier right now. All my installers are busy and tell him ain't going to happen today. But tomorrow we can. He gets all upset and tells me his "boy" will install it himself all he needs is the wires. I show him our amp kits and he picks one out and pays with a credit card and shows me his ID which is good.

So the next thing i see is this fool grabbing a box with some entry level 12" woofers and running out the door and throwing the box into his ride and peeling out of our parking lot. The store was pretty crowded and more than a few customers saw what just went down and asked should they chase this guy down?

I couldn't believe that this idiot just paid with a credit card and I checked his name and ID and it matched so I had all the information I needed to have him arrested. But I said "OH hell no" I just wrote up a ticket and manually punched in the credit card for 3x the amount something like $585.99 instead of $169.96. The charge got approved and was never contested either. I hope he enjoys his speakers.