He said “I don’t wanna marry you then you just get fat.”


I realized I didn’t want to marry him.

Someone I know cancelled just days before the wedding. They said they loved the person, but something in their heart felt ‘not right,’ and they couldn’t ignore it anymore. It broke both families for a while, but looking back, it was one of the bravest, most honest things I’ve seen. Better a painful truth than a lifetime of pretending.

My fiancé saw me gardening and freaked out. He said he couldn’t marry someone who did manual labor lmao. Bullet dodged! Though technically he canceled it, with that explanation, I would have after hearing his discontent had he not….

My coworker's best friend was getting married in her hometown of Charleston, SC. It was going to be a huge celebration with many in attendance. The morning of the rehearsal dinner, literally the day before the wedding, a sobbing young woman arrives at the rental where most of the wedding party was staying. She confessed that she had been having an affair with the groom-to-be for months. The bride was an emotional wreck, and her family lost a lot of money, but she definitely dodged a bullet.

TLDR: pregnant bride to be cancelled 48 hours before wedding due to prenup

When I met him (30 years ago) he drove an old car with close to 300,000 miles on it and lived in a small, poorly furnished house. My two bedroom condo was worth close to twice the value of his house. He did own a small business (restaurant) but they only served dinner so not a huge money maker.

After 2 years dating we accidentally got pregnant. He wanted a pre-nup and I had no problem with that, thinking he wanted to protect his business that he obviously put everything into.

The prenup he gave me showed all his assets. He was worth over a million. He owned the building his restaurant was in. Owned several properties and a small shopping center. And the pre-nup was insane - I had to give up rights of survivorship to any home we bought together. He would keep 100% of his income and gains. Even though I was pregnant and he wanted me to be a stay at home mom, I would have no protection. Basically I could be married 50 years and raise his kids and if he left me even the shirt on my back would belong to him if it had been purchased after the marriage.

I didn't even try for a reasonable re-write. I couldn't marry someone that could suggest that prenup. We cancelled the wedding less than 48 hours before it was scheduled.

Knew a guy whose mom [passed away] unexpectedly the week before the wedding, meaning the funeral would be a couple days before the wedding. He was emotionally wrecked and asked his fiancee if they could delay. Fiancée refused and started posting in Facebook about how she was being betrayed. At that point he formally called it off. Then her parents called him and demanded refunds for their deposits. Bride refused to return the ring, which had been his recently deceased mom’s, so he got a lawyer involved.

Called it off six weeks out when I realized it was all just wrong.
Instead of a honeymoon, I took myself on a 'oneymoon' (one-ee-moon). Best solo trip of my life.

I was diagnosed with cancer :( after already postponing our wedding due to COVID. I’m doing okay now and we just had a courthouse wedding, maybe we’ll do a vow renewal some day.

My fiancee won the lottery and wanted a bigger budget wedding. Thankfully I'm still the groom.

I was 18 and he was 23 in the navy when we met in Sicily. We decided to elope in Malta with a few of his friends over a quick weekend trip.

I had just started bc pills so when we got there, I was feeling very nauseous and blah. So he went out with the boys the night before the elopement.

Around 3am the door loudly opens with him in the arms of his friends being almost carried. He is DRUNK and he is ANGRY. He punches one of his friends in the face and they immediately looked at me and said “This is who you’re gonna marry”. And they left.

Meanwhile, he gets more volatile, I’m crying.
I did the fawn response that night and then next day when he was too sick to remember or care about eloping and then noped the [hell] out.
No.

Not me, but my aunt and her ex-fiancé.

My aunt was found out to be stealing from my grandma... a lot. Like over $50k. And my grandma had dementia, too.

My grandma had spoiled my aunt her whole life, bought her everything she wanted with no strings attached no matter how much she [messed] up... but that wasn't enough for my aunt, apparently. She got arrested (I think felony grand larceny?), disowned by the family, and her fiancé dumped her when he found out, and now is with a much better woman.

Three weeks before the wedding (during Thanksgiving dinner), he told me that he had been cheating on me the entire time we were together.

After our guests left, I proceeded to destroy his kitchen. He threatened to call the police if I broke anything else. So, I threw a chair through a window.

I called a friend to come pick me up. He never did call the cops. I seriously thought he was going to.

Three months later, he married his girlfriend. The day he got married, I sold my engagement ring to my neighbor for $20.

Within five years time, his wife had a baby with another man, they got divorced, he moved back to his home state, and I got an email from his sister telling me that he had a heart attack while on a ski trip and didn't survive it.

After a 3-year relationship and 18-month engagement, my ex decided he didn't want to get married after all. 10 days before the wedding. "You're not much fun to be around anymore (as I'm finishing up my degree, student teaching and planning a wedding...) And oh, by the way, would you mind me asking out your best friend?"

My mom called all of the people on my side who were invited, left the rest up to him/his family. Apparently a good few of them showed up at the church on the date.

He ended up hooking up with the wife of a frat brother, they ended up getting pregnant and married and quickly popped out 3 kids, then she cheated on HIM (and apparently she's married twice more since then.) He's been in one long-term relationship after another in the past 20+ years.

I just celebrated my 30th anniversary. Dodged a bullet, I did.

Maybe not "last minute" since we never got past the planning stage, but I threw all notion of planning a wedding out the window because every time we planned to announce our engagement and make plans for the wedding date and party, someone in my husband's family would pass away.

It happened 3x in a row, then covid took the world by storm, then my grandfather announced a heart revision surgery after his risky inital surgery years earlier, and while he survived and is perfectly fine now, *HE* announced *his* wedding, *and* my husband's surviving family left the state to move to a LOC of living area, so we simply gave up. I never wanted a blow out event or even a hired planner, just an intimate vow ceremony, signing the paperwork, and a small private party, so it was fine by me.

We ran off to the courthouse on our anniversary for vows and paperwork, and only invited our loved ones to meet us for brunch afterwards for an intimate yet casual "reception."

We brought cheesecake and cannolis home for dessert as the "wedding cake" lmao.

I found out he was living with another woman in another state. She was his “broker.” Not. Additionally, when people started finding out about me canceling, a male friend of mine reached out to ask if it was because of his cheating? I hadn’t shared any details so I asked what he was talking about. Turns out they had been [texting] each other. So apparently he was just hooking up with anyone willing. I’m no longer friends with that male “friend.” I left my ex. He stalked me. I prosecuted him.

My fiance met me for lunch and slid a prenup in front of me two weeks before the wedding. I would get nothing, ever, and I would have to help him take care of his mother. There was no such provision for my mother. He took me somewhere to get it notarized and I refused to sign it. He tried to bargain with me, but I was not having it. I took the dress back to the store, kept the shoes because they were cool, and canceled everything. He suggested couples counseling and I went once. The therapist told me she thought he had a screw loose. Then he stalked me. *shrug*.

Many years ago a colleague was getting married, I was invited to the wedding and his stag night.


The stag night was on the Thursday night before the Saturday wedding. We went for a curry then onto a nightclub, by about midnight I left and went home, leaving the groom and others to it.


This was pre mobile phone days, so on Saturday me and my girlfriend got ready, she'd bought a new dress and looked great, we'd booked a room in the hotel the reception was being held in.


Got to the church and at the door, the best man, the groom's brother was explaining that the wedding was off, the groom had met a girl at the club and spent the night with her, now decided she was the one for him and the wedding was off. And was calling his brother every name under the sun at the same time.


As the reception was all booked and paid for, he said we could go to the hotel and have the meal, stay for the disco and buffet if we wanted. Most of the work colleagues and various family were booked in there so we went and it ended up with about 50 people having an enjoyable but uniquely awkward evening. 

Pharmacy technician here. I once was much too stressed and I was rushing. Instead of prednisone 5mg, I used prednisone 50mg. The pharmacist checked it and didn't catch it, but I realized when I was putting my stock bottles away. Luckily it hadn't gone out yet so I fixed the mistake and vowed to be 100% dedicated to one task at a time. A few months later somebody made the exact same mistake but did not catch it, and the patient ended up in the hospital for a few months. (Prednisone is a steroid).

This isn't so much a medical error, but a time I feel that I failed my patient. I was on my first clinical rotation in a rural Emergency Room, and a woman came in with a miscarriage, her second one. While we were talking she mentioned she was new to town, didn't know anyone, and her husband was away for the weekend. When we told her the diagnosis, her eyes became teary, and then we left to make arrangements. The doc didn't say he was sorry for her loss or comfort her in anyway, which I instinctively wanted to do.

When I went back in her room to give her appointment time, she was in pieces. It really gets me. The five seconds it would have taken me to say those words, put a hand on her shoulder, call someone, or just offer some tissues, ugh anything but I didn't do it. Instead I let my fear of not knowing if I would be showing too much emotion or slowing down the doc, stop me from being human. The silver lining is now I do what my gut tells me. I've soothed babies from exhausted parents, picked up crying family members off the floor, and even discussed comic book heroes with kids getting stitches because that's the kind of person I am, and doctor I want to become.

Once as a tired medical resident I was called to the ER to admit someone at like 3am. This bonehead had gall bladder removal a week ago and now had a surgical-site wound infection. I asked if they'd taken their post-op antibiotics they were prescribed, and they weren't sure. I was getting more and more frustrated with this jerk preventing my sleep when I decided to use a "pregnant pause" interview technique, and just shut up. This usually results in either awkward silence and the patient saying "uhh W*F doc" or awkward silence followed by some useful deep revelation.


In this case the guy hung his head low, looked at his feet through unfocused eyes, started to sniffle while his halting voice cracked "I can't read. Never could. Didn't know the instructions they wrote down for me and didn't know I had medicine to buy. I didn't ask them because I was embarrassed."


Illiteracy haunts rural and urban places in most countries. Those folks aren't reading this, and they depend on our patience and understanding, and acceptance, to detect and bridge that vast communication gap. That's what stuck with me.

This is something a little narrower to my field than a lot of these. I work in Palliative Care, and in the fall I sent a patient home to see if he could die there instead of in hospital. We weren't very hopeful, but thought it would be worth a try. To no one's great surprise (even his and his wife's), he ended up coming back a couple of days later for whatever reason.

I re-admitted him, since I knew him. I knew he wanted to be a DNR (do not resuscitate). I wrote it on my note. But I didn't re-fill out the hospital paperwork. The next day, I got to work to discover he'd been coded and was on a ventilator in the ICU. Instead of passing peacefully, his wife had to make the decision to turn off life support. My entire job at the end of life is to ensure as good a death as I can. And in one simple omission, I messed that up royally.

My brother was always deemed as the genius. While my sister was the scapegoat and deemed stupid. I'd like to say my brother is doing horribly as he is and was an awful person. He's a raging narcissist, even worse than our mother. But he's doing fine. Not on his own merit, of course. He never finished college even though he went for like 7 years. He only went to get scam scholarships and other things out of money. Then he had a list of bad jobs, one working in a adult shop. He now works at a law firm. Not as a lawyer, of course. He only works there because his wife's dad is a lawyer and I think they own the firm.


My sister, however is the first in our family to earn a bachelor's degree. She has a degree in mathematics. She's doing well, we both also make disability from our time in the Navy. My brother said he was going to join the air force, but never actually went because he "broke his finger" allegedly.

I'd love to say my sister and I are doing great while he's suffering. But frankly, her and I still struggle a lot with mental illness and taking care of ourselves. And he seems to be doing fine. Not sure, I don't talk to him.

My younger brother is the Golden Child in my family. He is a lazy, spoiled adult who was a lazy, spoiled child and teenager. My maternal grandmother loved him best out of all her grandchildren because he was her only grandson. My mother coddled and smothered my brother to the point where he's never had a girlfriend, has no real interest in ever having a girlfriend, and has panic attacks at the mere thought of thinking for himself and/or doing something that he thinks (knows?) our mother would disapprove of.

She's a narcissistic and neither of her siblings have any deep relationship with her. She doesn't have any real friends and is a serial monogamist. (can't be alone EVER) Oh and she's a terrible mother who's child will prob. have ptsd as an adult.

I’m the golden child. Was.

My mom got progressively worse as my relationship with my girlfriend -> fiancé -> wife progressed. I did not handle it well (with either of them). Eventually it got to the point where we just went no contact, it’s been nearly four years since I’ve spoken or corresponded with her, and we were no contact for a few years before that too.

I’m very happy that I chose my wife over my mom. I regret dragging her through hell because I was too oblivious to my mother’s issues - and too weak to properly address them once I saw them for what they were.

Brother was the golden child (in a weird passive way - he wasn't exactly worshiped by them, but he did everything they said. he bought all of their lies hook-line-and-sinker and refuses to stand up to them now that he knows they were indeed lying. he was always more than happy to scapegoat me when we were younger. my parents didn't care about his feelings or his inner world, but he was so compliant that they rarely had direct conflict). he did everything he was supposed to do - college, good job, wife, house, kid. and it's neverrrr enough to n-mom. she complained about him constantly and always demands more time/energy from him. she even went to his wife to say "I don't see my son enough, you need to help with that!" lol. any attempt on my part to say "well, mom, he probably doesn't wanna talk to you because of how you treat him (always being demanding and invalidating)" is met with vicious arguing. he never stands up to her himself, though, and he won't engage in any negative talk about her still. he's financially independent, but he's never lived alone, never traveled alone, never planned a trip by himself, etc. his wife does all the event planning and gift buying for everyone (she's been distant lately so I wonder if she put her foot down and is making him make the plans, which won't happen lol). his wife is also straight up afraid of my n-mom.

My GC brother pretty much paid for his GC status with his life and is a constant reminder to me that, while GCs have it "better" compared to other roles in the family, in the end they're just as disposable to the narcissist as anyone else. Long story super short when my brother landed in the hospital over an odd spiking high fever, it was more important to my Ns to argue with doctors than to work with them to save my brother, resulting in said doctors making decisions against their better judgment, and ultimately getting the blame for his loss while the Ns are *milking* the hell out of that for victim points.

He is still sponging off our parents. Good riddance to all 3 of them. Funny how their precious golden child couldn't give them the one thing they wanted, which was grandkids. Now it must be like swallowing poison to ask me if they can see their grandkids.

They are lucky I allow my 'mother' to see them maybe twice a year on the kids' decision.

He's 42. My parents bought a duplex so he could live on the other side. He's supposed to pay rent and so he has a roommate. He just doesn't pay it most months. They still pay most of his bills. His relationships with women are all very short, mostly because he's a blackout alcoholic and I can't remember the last time I saw him sober. He's a nightmare of a person and I'm shocked he isn't in prison. He dropped out of college 3 times. At least he can hold down a factory job. He does make decent money but he spends it as he gets it. I have no idea what will happen to him when my parents eventually pass, but happily it's not my problem.

I run a whole foreclosure prevention program, I'm happily married, I have wonderful friends and I have a lovely life tbh. So much for being the loser of the family.

I was discarded when I stopped making enough money for my parents to siphon off for themselves.

Now they are focused on my brother, who might succeed in securing a partner and producing a grandchild. I got too old to have kids while I was endlessly trying to please them.