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User Of This Online Group Asked Others “What Is Something Subtle People Say That Is A Red Flag To You?” And Here Are The 50 Best Answers Idk if this is one, but when people say things like “I can say and do whatever I want” “it’s a free country. Ever hear of freedom of speech?” in order to justify s****y things they say or do. Like sure, you have the right to speak your mind, but people also have the right to judge you for what you say.

87319496 , prisca schmarsow Report

Final score:

354points

POST

JennyLaRue 3 years ago

They forget that Freedom of Speech works in both directions of an opinion

131points

User Of This Online Group Asked Others “What Is Something Subtle People Say That Is A Red Flag To You?” And Here Are The 50 Best Answers Don't be so sensitive (or something to that effect). Big warning sign that they A- don't care about your feelings, and B- can't take responsibility for their behaviour

Heart_in_her_eye , micadew Report

Final score:

326points

POST

R Carson 3 years ago

Basically-don't be you.

30points

User Of This Online Group Asked Others “What Is Something Subtle People Say That Is A Red Flag To You?” And Here Are The 50 Best Answers It was just a joke. Where's your sense of humor?

chuchimumi , Aina Vidal Report

Final score:

317points

POST

Katie Lutesinger 3 years ago

Schroedinger's Douchebag: The person who says something cruel and nasty, then decides whether it was "just a joke" based on the reaction they get.

188points

User Of This Online Group Asked Others “What Is Something Subtle People Say That Is A Red Flag To You?” And Here Are The 50 Best Answers “Ok fine I’m sorry happy?” That’s not an apology.

Celq124 , Alan Levine Report

Final score:

310points

POST

denzoren 3 years ago

That's like saying, "I'm sorry for being a jerk but...."

59points

User Of This Online Group Asked Others “What Is Something Subtle People Say That Is A Red Flag To You?” And Here Are The 50 Best Answers Anything that exposes poor morals. For example, "I'll just say I never got it so they send me another one."

When people show you who they really are, believe them. Love this quote.

emik7133 , Tracey Adams Report

Final score:

267points

POST

R Carson 3 years ago

Me too.

24points

User Of This Online Group Asked Others “What Is Something Subtle People Say That Is A Red Flag To You?” And Here Are The 50 Best Answers I'm not racist but

thiosk , zoetnet Report

Final score:

262points

POST

denzoren 3 years ago

You're definitely 100% racist. Lol

65points

mywifemademegetthis , Pedro Ribeiro Simões Report

User Of This Online Group Asked Others “What Is Something Subtle People Say That Is A Red Flag To You?” And Here Are The 50 Best Answers “I’m brutally honest” or some other excuse to be an unbearable person.

Final score:

254points

POST

JennyLaRue 3 years ago

Anyone can be brutally honest, but everyone else has probably worked out that people don't respond well to the lack of tact, sensitivity and empathy, so it doesn't bode well for the long term if you're just rolling round making people feel s**t about themselves.

56points

User Of This Online Group Asked Others “What Is Something Subtle People Say That Is A Red Flag To You?” And Here Are The 50 Best Answers Treating service staff poorly, then turning around and being disingenuous.

Ariandrin , Terinea IT Support Report

Final score:

254points

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Carmen Sandiego 3 years ago

"Oh why are you being nice to them?" "I dunno, maybe, just maybe, they are also human?! Mindblowing, I know."

12points

#10

User Of This Online Group Asked Others “What Is Something Subtle People Say That Is A Red Flag To You?” And Here Are The 50 Best Answers If they wronged you and say something like, "I'm such a terrible person, you should leave me." It's them trying to force sympathy on them instead of genuinely apologizing to you. They're not going to change if you stay.

AnonyMissBliss , Alexey Dushutin Report

Final score:

239points

POST

Nay Wilson 3 years ago

my mother used to say this to me, leaving me feeling like i had no choice but to reply with 'no you're not, you're a good person' (FYI, she wasnt a good person, she was narcissistic and abusive)

78points

Classic-Daikon-5448 , Pedro Ribeiro Simões Report

#11

User Of This Online Group Asked Others “What Is Something Subtle People Say That Is A Red Flag To You?” And Here Are The 50 Best Answers I personally move away from people who constantly one up someone's story or experience

Final score:

222points

POST

Lauren Caswell 3 years ago (edited)

Again putting this out there: some ppl genuinely have learned that sharing a common experience with someone is a good way to make social bonds. I only recently learned just how many people do not seem to feel this way. I already knew to rein in it and only share experiences sometimes, but I don't ever do it as oneupsmanship. I'm finding myself less sure nowadays about ever doing it at all, which sucks because it is one of my learned strategies and I don't have a big arsenal to choose from

98points

#12

User Of This Online Group Asked Others “What Is Something Subtle People Say That Is A Red Flag To You?” And Here Are The 50 Best Answers I’m a guy but anytime I hear other guys say “friend zone” or “girls only date a**holes” or anything that sounds incel/misogynistic, I’m not going to be too fond of the person

OW2000 , Nick Gray Report

Final score:

209points

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Aliquid A 3 years ago

My response "if girls only date a**holes, why are you always single?"

120points

#13

User Of This Online Group Asked Others “What Is Something Subtle People Say That Is A Red Flag To You?” And Here Are The 50 Best Answers Positive vibes only!

gfitzy7 , Glen Bledsoe Report

Final score:

207points

POST

denzoren 3 years ago

Well sorry Susan, I had a rough week.

90points

#14

User Of This Online Group Asked Others “What Is Something Subtle People Say That Is A Red Flag To You?” And Here Are The 50 Best Answers “I try to be more like my kids’ friend than their mom.”

holyurushiol , Leonid Mamchenkov Report

Final score:

205points

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Viviane 3 years ago

Sometimes, you have to risk being hated by your kids to raise them into functioning adults. It sucks, it's hard, but being liked all the time should not be the primary goal of raising them.

102points

cherenkov_light , Johnny Silvercloud Report

#15

User Of This Online Group Asked Others “What Is Something Subtle People Say That Is A Red Flag To You?” And Here Are The 50 Best Answers “Yeah, but YOU don’t act black.”

The f**k?

Final score:

204points

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denzoren 3 years ago

How is someone supposed to act an ethnicity/race. Don't give in to stereotypes.

78points

#16

User Of This Online Group Asked Others “What Is Something Subtle People Say That Is A Red Flag To You?” And Here Are The 50 Best Answers Making rude comments about homeless ppl and being rude to waitstaff

LittleLulu333 , Carl Graph Report

Final score:

204points

POST

Anthony Mann 3 years ago

Those people almost always feel like that could NEVER happen to them. It's always a failing of the waiter/homeless person's (morality/religion/class/race - take your pick) in their eyes, and only that reason.

33points

SelfDiagnosedUnicorn , Guian Bolisay Report

#17

User Of This Online Group Asked Others “What Is Something Subtle People Say That Is A Red Flag To You?” And Here Are The 50 Best Answers Non-apologies.

“I’m sorry you got offended by what I said.”

Final score:

197points

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K. Lange 3 years ago

i learned this phrase while working for a callcenter. Because you shouldn*t apologize for what happened (for reasons of liability) but apologize for the feelings the caller has, so that he feels heard.

40points

paperclip1213 , Robbert van der Steeg Report

#18

User Of This Online Group Asked Others “What Is Something Subtle People Say That Is A Red Flag To You?” And Here Are The 50 Best Answers If you can't handle me at my worst you don't deserve me at my best.

Final score:

194points

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Grant Barke 3 years ago

This one is the reddest of red flags.

70points

#19

User Of This Online Group Asked Others “What Is Something Subtle People Say That Is A Red Flag To You?” And Here Are The 50 Best Answers "Sorry I did this and that, It's just my inner zodiac sign."

Like, your zodiac sign doesn't define you, you're just being a s****y person and using that phrase as a cover up.

Tiredchopsticks , Peter Corbett Report

Final score:

186points

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Carmen Sandiego 3 years ago

Oh sooo sorry, I can't help it, I'm an asparagus!

109points

#20

User Of This Online Group Asked Others “What Is Something Subtle People Say That Is A Red Flag To You?” And Here Are The 50 Best Answers When people talk s**t on their spouses. Like even in the most subtle way it’s still not appropriate small talk. If it’s my best friend and she’s telling me about a hardship or a fight, different. But when I’m meeting you for the first time I shouldn’t be able to pick up that you dislike your spouse/SO.

Unhappy-Addendum-759 , irisgazer Report

Final score:

174points

POST

denzoren 3 years ago

It's like getting married but complaining about having to get married...we know deep down you're not joking.

38points

#21

User Of This Online Group Asked Others “What Is Something Subtle People Say That Is A Red Flag To You?” And Here Are The 50 Best Answers When they disagree with someone, they default to attacking the person's character instead of their actions. We all do this from time to time, but with some people it's every time. The guy who messed up their order is "an idiot". Their boss is "an evil sociopath". The person on Facebook who expressed a political view that opposes theirs is "a degenerate". That new intern at work is "hopeless". In the end, the final result is that anyone they disagree with for any reason is either an inherently bad person who doesn't really merit listening to.

Celestaria , Frederick Dennstedt Report

Final score:

172points

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R Carson 3 years ago

Free speech has consequences-it would be nice to agree to disagree without personal attacks.

30points

#22

User Of This Online Group Asked Others “What Is Something Subtle People Say That Is A Red Flag To You?” And Here Are The 50 Best Answers “I’m a nice guy” …. Sure you are. Why you gotta justify to me just show it.

littlecassowary , Andrij Bulba Report

Final score:

172points

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denzoren 3 years ago

If you're a nice guy you don't need to keep reminding people. Your actions will show it.

69points

#23

User Of This Online Group Asked Others “What Is Something Subtle People Say That Is A Red Flag To You?” And Here Are The 50 Best Answers When they are the victim in all of their stories.

I had a colleague who didn't really have any friends outside of work. All of her stories were about how each of her friends had stabbed her in the back at one time or another. She went travelling to Australia with 6 girls and left early because they didn't want to do the things she wanted. It was glaringly obvious that she was the issue but still tried to play the sweet victim.

There is another girl from my high school who has gained quite a few followers on social media through sharing her stories of being bullied in school for being bald. No one can remember that ever happening, she was quite popular but had lost touch with her group as you do when you move away for college. Also, she was never bald.

Red flags when people enjoy pity.

POded99 , David Stanley Report

Final score:

167points

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DarkAngelNic 3 years ago

"Also, she was never bald." How can someone make a blatant lie and think no one is going to know? So freakin' weird.

31points

#24

User Of This Online Group Asked Others “What Is Something Subtle People Say That Is A Red Flag To You?” And Here Are The 50 Best Answers Maybe this is nitpicky but people who give nicknames or use a shortened version of your name without asking if you mind it. It's annoyed me my whole life and always seems to correlate with them not respecting more serious boundaries later on.

Jazz_Brain , Sascha Kohlmann Report

Final score:

151points

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Lisa Shaw 3 years ago

This one bothers me too, has done since I was a child, I always use the name the person introduced themselves with, if they say David, I call them David, I never presume to call them Dave unless they specifically say "I go by Dave".

61points

#25

User Of This Online Group Asked Others “What Is Something Subtle People Say That Is A Red Flag To You?” And Here Are The 50 Best Answers But you're so good at it. Aka I'll compliment you in the hope that you'll take this task off my hands.

amelie_v , Jessie Pearl Report

Final score:

137points

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Leodavinci 3 years ago

Worse yet is a family member (looking at spouse) who "volunteers" you to other family members or friends to "help" with something because you have some amount of knowledge/experience with it. No... just no. I don't want the responsibility if something goes wrong or doesn't work.

43points

#26

User Of This Online Group Asked Others “What Is Something Subtle People Say That Is A Red Flag To You?” And Here Are The 50 Best Answers “I just tell it like it is…”

Is a red flag for me personally.

AnarchistWhiskey , Matus Laslofi Report

Final score:

137points

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Connie Martin 3 years ago

Absolutely, red flag

20points

#27

User Of This Online Group Asked Others “What Is Something Subtle People Say That Is A Red Flag To You?” And Here Are The 50 Best Answers If they compliment themselves often but rarely or never others, for me that's an obvious narcissistic trait.

newtypehero , Myllena Azevedo Report

Final score:

136points

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R Carson 3 years ago

Run!

25points

#28

User Of This Online Group Asked Others “What Is Something Subtle People Say That Is A Red Flag To You?” And Here Are The 50 Best Answers When they try to fish compliments. For example they say: ‘why am I so ugly?’

theDiscreetLurker , ErWin Report

Final score:

131points

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denzoren 3 years ago

My reply..."Idk, genetics probably."

110points

#29

“Well then I guess I’ll never do / buy / say / ask anything / (normal okay thing that isn’t actually the problem) ever again.”

eternal_dancer Report

Final score:

126points

POST

Weronika Kasperska 3 years ago

It’s such a toddler’s behaviour, but my husband sometimes doing this. Like when he have his night out, suppose to back Early and instead he Come home in the morning. And when I confront with him it’s allways 'FINE! So I will never go anywhere again!'. Like... dude, I don’t care, you can stay home forever, That’s not my point

7points

#30

User Of This Online Group Asked Others “What Is Something Subtle People Say That Is A Red Flag To You?” And Here Are The 50 Best Answers “I’m an empath” makes me want to get in my car and drive ten hours in the opposite direction while shoving wool in my ears.

My last roommate called herself an empath. Turned out to be a 30 year old emotionally abusive a** who let her dog s**t in our apartment. Empath my a**

aards , Tom Woodward Report

Final score:

115points

POST

Lisa Shaw 3 years ago

I do find people use this term too freely, without actually knowing what it means, true empaths are on the rare side, however according to some social media pages they're averaging about 50% of the population. A true empath does not need to tell you, you will notice it in their personality and actions.

58points

#31

User Of This Online Group Asked Others “What Is Something Subtle People Say That Is A Red Flag To You?” And Here Are The 50 Best Answers “I’m not (blank) but...(insert statement that affirms they are what they’re claiming not to be)

stokeszdude , Lachlan Hardy Report

Final score:

111points

POST

Katie Lutesinger 3 years ago

A close cousin of "No offence, but... [offensive remark]"

62points

#32

User Of This Online Group Asked Others “What Is Something Subtle People Say That Is A Red Flag To You?” And Here Are The 50 Best Answers Pretty much anytime somebody says something about themself when it's not prompted or necessary.

Like "I'm an honest person", "I'm a hard worker", or "I'd never hit a woman".

jrhawk42 , Didriks Report

Final score:

106points

POST

Anthony Mann 3 years ago

A lot of the time, they are trying to plant that thought in your head, in case you hear the opposite from someone else. It's a 'preemptive' denial of something they think you will likely hear about.

23points

Dutch Swimmer Goes Viral For Super Revealing Trunks During 2024 Olympics: “Is This Legal?”

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Thrill-Seeking Diver Jumps Down Extreme Waterslide, Ignoring The Strict Ban For Women

#33

User Of This Online Group Asked Others “What Is Something Subtle People Say That Is A Red Flag To You?” And Here Are The 50 Best Answers my s/o wont let me do so & so

beamergirl_66 , Gilles FRANCOIS Report

Final score:

104points

POST

R Carson 3 years ago

If you need permission-something's wrong.

54points

keeper-of-calves , laura betancourt Report

#34

User Of This Online Group Asked Others “What Is Something Subtle People Say That Is A Red Flag To You?” And Here Are The 50 Best Answers Asking what music you listen to, then immediately critiquing it, especially when you like main stream stuff. (I guess this applies to stuff other than music but that’s what annoys me the most)

Final score:

104points

POST

Viviane 3 years ago (edited)

One way to handle different tastes is to say, "I'm more into __. What's the appeal for you? What do you like about it?" The answers might turn out to be very interesting. If not, you've at least been courteous and avoided pissing off the other person.

28points

#35

User Of This Online Group Asked Others “What Is Something Subtle People Say That Is A Red Flag To You?” And Here Are The 50 Best Answers “That’s just the way God made me,” as an excuse for being a b***h or d**k. Like it’s just their personally and they can’t help it so we should all just accept it.

slfraire , Eric Chan Report

Final score:

102points

POST

Two_rolling_black_eyes 3 years ago (edited)

My reply - God gave you with free will. You choose to be this way.

5points

#36

Anyone who tries to convince you that you can trust them.

"Come on man, you can trust me. I'd never do that to you."

People who are actually trust worthy don't need to convince anyone of anything and they also know that real trust isn't freely given to people you barely know and are not offended when they are not given it.

Oblique9043 Report

Final score:

101points

POST

Kathryn Baylis 3 years ago

Trust, like respect, is earned. It’s not up to you to say you’re trustworthy; it’s up to others to consider you trustworthy based in your past trustworthiness. And you have to keep on proving your trustworthiness too.

2points

Woman Put A Water Fountain With A Camera In Her Yard, Here Are 24 Photos Of Regular Visitors (New Pics)

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“Ma’am I Live Here”: Woman Refuses To Back Out Of Driveway, Learns A Lesson The Hard Way

#37

User Of This Online Group Asked Others “What Is Something Subtle People Say That Is A Red Flag To You?” And Here Are The 50 Best Answers When someone says "they're my karma child" and implies their child makes their life so hard it must be payback for a mistake they made in the past. I usually discover this person has intense mental health or substance use history. It's a s****y way of mentioning their disdain for their kid.

thesensiblething , Tour The Triad Report

Final score:

88points

POST

Stephanie IV 3 years ago

..maybe ask what their child could have done wrong to deserve them as their parent. Their proverbial karma isn't a one way street.

47points

#38

User Of This Online Group Asked Others “What Is Something Subtle People Say That Is A Red Flag To You?” And Here Are The 50 Best Answers "With all due respect."

I know a guy who says this so frequently that when he says it, I brace myself for the s**t to follow.

newenglandredshirt , Cydcor Report

Final score:

82points

POST

Stephanie IV 3 years ago

"If I'm honest" followed by their opinion du jour.

26points

#39

“I know what I’m worth.” Especially in a romantic setting, OLD or first date type stuff. It’s good to have a strong sense of self but I’ve found when this exact phrase is stated/listed something ain’t right.

serene_brutality Report

Final score:

79points

POST

Nikki Sevven 3 years ago

You're not a commodity; you're a human being.

23points

#40

Less a direct statement and more of a behavior, but I find myself becoming less able to hang out with the people I know who seem to have no respect for any type of input I have on a subject, despite me trying to always at least entertain what they're saying for the purpose of the discussion, even if it's absurd.

I'll have something to add, and they'll seem to not even hear what I've said, either ignoring it all together or immediately dismissing it as incorrect, sometimes even using the same arguments I just said in explaining why what I just said is nonsense.

And on the occasion that I actually decide to go through the effort of defending my stance, they usually end it with some dismissive statement like "well that's your opinion". Yes, that is my opinion, and considering the fact that I have been sitting here listening to and showing respect towards, even if not always supporting, your opinion, I think would justify me in asking for the same basic respect.

This turned into a rant, and I'm sorry about that. To put it shortly, I guess I'd say when a person seems to have a lot of difficulty with you disagreeing with them, and never seems to even pretend they are giving your position any real thought beyond "no, you're wrong because..." Then I'd say they aren't your friend, and you should consider no longer trying to be theirs.

MountainGloat Report

Final score:

78points

POST

Jennifer Gould 3 years ago

It is so frustrating to try to reason with someone who is so one sided. I find some people are just set in their ways and think they are always right. It makes friendship very difficult. I just avoid people who are so negative and like to argue. Being selective about who you interact with can be so helpful!

17points

50 Of The Most Incredible Shots That Were Submitted To The Comedy Wildlife Photography Awards

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French Diver’s “Jewels” In Tight Swimming Trunks Become Talk Of The Town At Olympics

#41

User Of This Online Group Asked Others “What Is Something Subtle People Say That Is A Red Flag To You?” And Here Are The 50 Best Answers Recently had someone tell me "I hate being accused of lying." I'm sure we can all guess what he keeps getting caught doing...

InBtwixt , Simply CVR Report

Final score:

76points

POST

Helen Haley 3 years ago

I get so nervous when being questioned about anything I look like I'm lying even if I'm telling the truth. Been that way forever.

19points

#42

"I'm always open to debate."

I find most people that say that are open to lecture you, and closed to debate.

StringVar Report

Final score:

76points

POST

Jennifer Gould 3 years ago

I love that....Open to lecture you, and closed to debate! Perfectly put!

26points

#43

User Of This Online Group Asked Others “What Is Something Subtle People Say That Is A Red Flag To You?” And Here Are The 50 Best Answers When I started my new job the bubbliest girl who was loved by most of the staff and was also a HR manager would act like this when me and her were totally alone.

She would whisper ever so softly (to herself but to me) "you get no thanks around here, no one cares. You just wait and watch the knives stabbing when you least expect it". This is something she did on my first DAY!! I said to her everyone seems lovely and accepting and she said "well wait until you get to know them".

This was a HR MANAGER!!

Edit I've just realised this isn't very subtle

Also Edit! Seems like alot of people see this girls actions as good. I don't, this was my first day and I really believe if people start talking about others they're setting the tone for YOU to perceive the person they are gossiping about, it made me nervous, your first day is bad enough. I was there for 7 months and not one person showed any signs of being a backstabber. Not one! Nothing even remotely shady.

Little_Hobbitt , Dan Taylor-Watt Report

Final score:

68points

POST

Leodavinci 3 years ago

As an HR manager, she probably heard stuff you never would.

40points

Kim Shannon 3 years ago

True. But as a HR manager, she needs to keep that confidential. She's spreading negativity. Some of the worst treatment I ever got on the job was from HR. As in, oh your boss sexually harassed you to the point you were afraid to be alone with him? Pshh! Why don't you just get over it? P S No, my boss was not Harvey Weinstein

9points

Paul K. Johnson 3 years ago

Right, but she heard a person's side of it. A lot of people refuse to go to HR because they think what they say will get back in a way that will cause retribution. So I doubt HR ever really knows what's actually going on from a balanced perspective.

2points

Ellie Rosser 3 years ago

But if he would have never heard it how can it possibly be important to tell him there's an issue?

0points

Kathryn Baylis 3 years ago (edited)

The red flag for me was when you said “bubbliest girl who was loved by most of the staff”. 1) Watch out for that bubbly person. They’re only going to burst your bubble. 2) Watch out for the person who is pointed out to you as the most loved, or most reliable, or most trustworthy, or most knowledgeable, or the whole place would fall apart if they weren’t here—-especially if it’s the boss saying it. That person is only loved, reliable, trustworthy, knowledgeable, and capable of keeping the place running if you’re in a position to help them advance at work. If you’re not, watch out. That facade fades fast and you get to see the real person underneath. Only they’ve so carefully built their undeserved sterling reputation with management that no one but another lower lever employee (the ones who are also not a part of “most of the staff”) will believe you.

2points

Jennifer Gould 3 years ago

Even if she observed people acting poorly she only needed to warn you if it happened to you or she thought there was a reason for HR to speak up. Otherwise I agree with the author, I would have been suspicious of the HR manager and not the staff if this happened the first day!

2points

snipergun 3 years ago (edited)

This depends on mentality. In my country of origin this is very common and now I find it very unprofessional behavior. That she feels everyone is stabbing her - I believe that but it's not personal most likely, it's employee position to hr manager, simple as that. Same as IT job feels like everyone tries to sabotage your work. But I doubt on personal level people are so mean and your position in relation to theirs is not same. Hr manager shouldn't talk like that to anyone except other hr manager.

2points

Ekaterina Sidiakova 3 years ago

I had a boss who said things like that all the time to me about my teammates. Took me a long time to realise that he was a screwed up person and build all his relationships on making others believe he's the only one who cares for them. It's alienating a person from everyone else as they constantly will be suspicious of others especially coming from the person they think they should trust.

1point

Kimberly Buchanan 3 years ago

That is not appropriate behavior for management.

1point

Paul K. Johnson 3 years ago

Anytime I'm at a new job and someone starts telling me which "sides" to be on and who to like and who not to like I try to find the most polite way of telling them I'll decide for myself who I like or don't like, thank you and I already don't like you. I keep that last part to myself though.

1point

Meri Kassner-Gomez 3 years ago

Maybe she had a mental illness..:.

0points

Erin E 3 years ago

If they were only there 7 months they probably hadn’t scratched the surface on the ridiculous talking.

0points

Mazer 3 years ago

My take away is that this is a dysfunctional office and she is looking for an ally. If you are serious about keeping this job keep your head down do your work and do not engage in office politics

0points

SobyKay 3 years ago (edited)

I agree with this. I don't like being set up to have a particular suspicion about others. Been a teacher for years and HATED it when other teachers thought they were doing me a favour by "warning" me about incoming students. Those were some of my most precious students, whatever their past stories were. I don't appreciate being set up like that. Unless it involves my immediate health and safety, plz don't try to plant ideas about other ppl in my head.

0points

Mike Loux 3 years ago

"And this is where I come to cry." "Cool, cool."

0points

Carrie de Luka 3 years ago

My experience at one organisation - I was told in the first two weeks that my boss was a terrible manager along with a load of examples. Sadly they were right and I ended up not even staying a year. She made my job so difficult.

0points

Sean Harrison 3 years ago

As the HR manager, she's likely the one responsible for hiring these people, so in the end she's the problem.

0points

R Carson 3 years ago

The game is rigged.

0points

Woman Moves Out Of Parents' Home After They Asked Her To Give Her Space To Brother, They Freak Out

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Mom Leaves $250k Inheritance To Son, Throws A Fit When Daughter Stops Looking After Her

#44

Try to say, "It could have been worse" (Or something to that affect) everytime they make a mistake. "Yeah, it could have been worse, but you still wrecked my car Rachel"

UrasnoFlake2 Report

Final score:

67points

POST

Leodavinci 3 years ago

Many of these "red flags" are beginning to sound more like personally specific issues.

12points

#45

"Can't you just do it?" instead of wanting to learn something.

mmm-pistol-whip Report

Final score:

65points

POST

Viviane 3 years ago

For me, it depends on context. If a colleague has a tight deadline and I can do something much faster than they can, I'll definitely help. I might even insist on it! If it's someone who never wants to learn, I'd find that annoying. If I can teach them, I'll try to do so. If they totally refuse, it depends on whether it's someone at work or a.. ahem... "friend".

2points

#46

User Of This Online Group Asked Others “What Is Something Subtle People Say That Is A Red Flag To You?” And Here Are The 50 Best Answers Starting an argument for no reason and then not having the capacity to resolve it.

blippityblop , Iryna Yeroshko Report

Final score:

64points

POST

TimesNewLogan 3 years ago

So... 90% of the internet?

41points

#47

Referring to women as "females".

ChibiRedgrave Report

Final score:

61points

POST

Leodavinci 3 years ago

Do you also object to referring to men as "males"?

23points

foofoofoobears , Quinn Dombrowski Report

#48

User Of This Online Group Asked Others “What Is Something Subtle People Say That Is A Red Flag To You?” And Here Are The 50 Best Answers Never asking a question. My husband realized his father never does this and now I can’t stop listening for this.

Final score:

60points

POST

Dodo 3 years ago

I don't really ask questions, because I'm socially awkward and don't know what's considered acceptable/unacceptable to ask

35points

Woman Refuses To Chip In For Babysitting Because She Doesn’t Even Have Kids, Asks If She’s A Jerk

See Also on Bored Panda

“This Breaks My Heart”: People Stunned—And Angry—After Woman Buys Lost Luggage From Airport

#49

User Of This Online Group Asked Others “What Is Something Subtle People Say That Is A Red Flag To You?” And Here Are The 50 Best Answers You'll know I like you when I make fun of every single thing you do maliciously.

Like wth

tsoro , Brieuc Saffré Report

Final score:

60points

POST

denzoren 3 years ago

I think people use this in the whole "best friends who insult each other" way to make it seem okay but it's a completely different thing to do it maliciously.

17points

#50

Someone who frequently, in response to you telling them about a bad or inconvenient thing that happened to you, start with "Well what you SHOULD have done..." or "What I would have done..." and then argue with your reasonings for not finding their solution helpful. These people tend to be very opinionated and stubborn, even in situations they don't really know anything about. This is especially true if paired with a tendency to always win/have bad losing habits, are generally immature, or have a history of just not knowing what they're talking about but just want to assert themselves in the conversation anyways

Edit: To those who do this to a fault, it's a completely normal behavior! Sometimes it's hard to not begin searching for solutions to a loved one's problem. However it's different when you do it excessively, or to the point of making the other person feel stressed or incompetent. I'm mostly talking about this when it's accompanied by other red flags but can be a standalone depending on frequency/social context

solaris_eclipse Report

Final score:

58points

POST

Dodo 3 years ago

I understand this one. If I try something and it goes wrong, my mother is always there to tell me what I *should* have done instead. Even though my way was valid, she automatically assumes her way is better.

18points

"I Didn't Start The Dryer": Karen Gets Taught A Lesson After Throwing Out Neighbor's Wet Clothes

See Also on Bored Panda

College Student Does Exactly As Told After Roommates Demand They Keep Their Stuff In Their Room

#51

‘My OCD...’ ‘She’s so bipolar!’ ‘MY ANXIETY!!!!’ Etc etc etc. Shut up forever.

247-sylviaplath Report

Final score:

15points

POST

Sarah 3 years ago

I never really thought about this much in the past and have to say I used to be guilty of it. Then I read a very well thought out article about the casual way we talk joke about these things. People who suffer from these types of mental health issues don't consider them a joke or funny, and for other people to treat it that way just trivializes a serious issue. It's almost like you are saying "ha ha! your serious health issue is a punchline and isn't that big a deal!". I totally get it now and am trying to break the habit as best I can.

3points

#52

"I'm not gay but this feels good"

Jason_Clement7 Report

Final score:

14points

POST

R Carson 3 years ago

Okaaaaay

11points

Danimal_Have_Cometh Report

#53

“Does this smell like chloroform to you?”

Final score:

14points

POST

Grant Barke 3 years ago

Why yes it doesssssssssssssszzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

10points

PowerRepulsive8341 Report

#54

“I haven’t cried since I was a kid”

Final score:

14points

POST

Kat Zwingle 3 years ago

It probably means they are very wounded, very repressed. They are probably afraid of "negative" emotions. I don't think it's a "red flag" but it's an indicator that they need to be treated carefully.

13points

#55

I don’t have an addictive personality

Dropshot44 Report

Final score:

7points

POST

R Carson 3 years ago

Yay you!

3points

Konstancija is a Content Creator at Bored Panda. She has a bachelor’s degree in Translation and Interpreting and a master’s degree in Future Media and Journalism. She is very interested in sustainable fashion and is a perfect companion to go to second-hand shops and antiques for nearly anything: clothes, books or furniture. Her interests also include photography, literature and hiking.

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What do you think ?

POST

Agnes Jekyll 3 years ago

Someone once told me, "people tell you who they are, it's your responsibility to listen." I have not listened, many times, to my own detriment.

17points

Tami 3 years ago

Or I listen and then make excuses for them to avoid having to admit they did something sh*tty.

10points

MonsterMum 3 years ago

'Everyone is a little bit autistic' grrrr

14points

Don't Look 3 years ago

The f**k they are.

8points

Llama_flower93 3 years ago

A lot of these are bad only because of how they are popularly used by certain people. It's interesting to me that language is like that. That a term that should mean well is turned sour by awful people.

5points

Troux 3 years ago

In my experience, "I'm a good person" has only been uttered by the worst people I've known, when they were caught at their worst. Put it right up there with "I'm a nice guy."

4points

Sean Harrison 3 years ago

Sometimes people do need to be reminded that you are, in fact, a decent, nice person. I've been treated like dirt by a lot of people that thought I was an asshole, just due to rumors they heard, and never even bothered to get to know me. So yeah, sometimes you do need to tell people who you are, because many times they won't give you the chance to show them who you are.

0points

Natalia A 3 years ago (edited)

People who are everyone's buddy. In my experience, they are the most hurtful, narcissistic, abusive people around.

3points

Nubmaeme 3 years ago

When I was still working, I used to really confound people when I would admit that I had done something or that I was responsible for whatever had happened. They were not used to people owning up to their mistakes or taking responsibility for their actions. Seeing their reactions to the admissions was more fun than trying to cover up the action.

2points

Hollysmom 3 years ago

Saying "I didn't upset you/make you angry, etc". "You made yourself upset/angry, etc". My father used to say this ad a way to not take responsibility for anything he did or said. Sorry dad.

2points

Kevin Hickey 3 years ago

"He's a nice guy once you get to know him." Translation: he's an azzhole, but you'll get used to it.

1point

Sean Harrison 3 years ago

Or, he/she's shy and guarded around people due to being s**t on by them for years, so it can take a while for him/her to let you in.

2points

Daniel (ShadowDrakken) 3 years ago

I hate when people use "I'm a feminist" to justify just awful behavior towards not just men, but also women, and LGBTQ+. TERFs like JK Rowling, comedians like Aisling Bea, influencers like Lacey Green, etc. We need feminism to be angry and aggressive because it's the only way people listen, but that doesn't excuse outright dickery.

1point

Sean Harrison 3 years ago

Modern feminism isn't feminism, it's just Misandry in disguise.

-2points

Allen Lane Cook 3 years ago

When a new supervisor says I'm not a micromanager and I'm not into drama, it's guaranteed that they are actually both.

1point

First Name Last Name 3 years ago

#56 Everyone should believe the same things and act the same way socially, and it should be the way the media says. Sorry, that is not tolerant or embracing diversity. You can't have it both ways. If you want social broad-mindedness you have to allow room for the narrow-minded to exist without judgment. Otherwise you are being self-contradictory. Most people don't get that about this cancel culture we are dealing with. It is as wrong as that which you are trying to cancel. Maybe even more so.

1point

Llama_flower93 3 years ago

What are you referring to?

1point

Joyce Blodgett 1 year ago

Because I hate being asked about myself and my life, I also don't ask others anything, for the most part, until I've seen them in action with others for a while. I especially hate being asked if I have any children (did, but both died a long, long time ago). If I say they're deceased, people get "that" look, the one where the eyes suddenly light up, and they're licking their chops, hoping for a juicy-details story. I usually walk away without explanation, not wanting to yet again go into details they don't need. Just know it still hurts, ok, and it's not a subject open for free conversation (not addressing that to anyone on here, just saying it in general).

0points

Claudia Friedrich 2 years ago

"I don' t know what i can say around you" when people don't like my response to that and wanted me to take in and act on bahalf of their "helpful" tips, because only they know what really is right

0points

Megan Contreras 3 years ago

#47..active duty here...um...we call everyone male or female. It's unprofessional in this line of work to say men or women or guys or girls. It's male or female. And I'm sorry but after years of being in the military it's a habit. Hard habit to change.

0points

Anna Repp 3 years ago

My new "favourite" situation is when someone gives me unsolicited advice about my work, followed by "I hope you are not upset by my critique, I'm only telling this to you because you and I are both professionals!" Yeah, right! If you respected me as a professional, you would not jump in with your critique, you would ask me first why I've made such and such choice in creating my work and respected me for that. And if you were itching to comment on something, you'd say "I have an idea about this part - would you like me to tell you what I thought?" And be prepared to hear "No, thank you" from me. Giving unsolicited advice and excusing it with "we are both professionals" is disrespectful and hurtful and should stop.

0points

Grady'sRaider 3 years ago (edited)

Some sleazy but most of these are bullying, country simple.

0points

Petra, princess of Brigid 3 years ago

Another one is "no offense but (proceeds to say something incredibly offensive)"

0points

Crystal Pearson 3 years ago

People who claim they hate drama are usually the ones starting it.

0points

Crystal Pearson 3 years ago

Never trust a person who says trust me.

0points

Casey McAlister 3 years ago

People who like to advertise how kind and compassionate they are. It's one of those things you are supposed to show, not tell.

0points

MrOwlAteMyMetalWorm. 3 years ago

Now I am paranoid about the things I say.The world is becoming more sensitive but is it being considerate too?

0points

Grady'sRaider 3 years ago

This article covered 99% of the problem. If you have been on the receiving end of these, there is a good chance you don't practice them. Peace.

0points

Octavia Hansen 3 years ago

I have always found when anyone I am just meeting starts with "I'm a Christian." usually indicates something mean will surface soon . . . that I'm not as valuable a person as them, nor what I do or think. However, this does same me a lot of time . . . NEXT!

0points

Shane S 3 years ago

“I hate drama/I’m not a dramatic person” = I’m a dramabomb

0points

Grady'sRaider 3 years ago

I've found drama is complicated; truth is simple.

0points

Dimitris Jimi Iordanidis 3 years ago

Some of them are true and have a point (especially racist ones or passive-agressive non-apologies) but others are way too vague to be able to deduct whether the person saying them is a red flag or is actually saying something valid. For example " if you can't handle me at my worst.." depends on whether they say that over them being angry about you mispronouncing their middle name by mistake - vs them having an actually very bad day at work and something extra bad happened that day etc and they didn't have the best attitude that day (they should still probably apologize but still, phrase checks out there).

0points

Mazer 3 years ago

Some of these are just downright picky and many of them just take a little finesse to work with I don’t find all of these as being bad traits people are people and we’re all learning some of us are doing our best and we just know what we’re taught, sometimes helping people to use different tools makes a better relationship.

0points

Renate Stargardt 3 years ago

To come to a country as an immigrant and not be able to learn so much of the "foreign language" in 25 years, that one can have a simple conversation. You have had children who grew up there and who of course speak the language fluently. Anyone who does not learn the language of the country in which he / she lives in such a long time is simply ignorant and lazy in a way. If I decide to live in a country, where the language is different, than my native language, I learn that language, as fast as possible.

0points

similarly 3 years ago

I've lived in Japan for over 20 years. Yes, I can have simple conversations in a restaurant, at a shop, with my doctor, etc., but I'm far from fluent. I spent most of the last 20 years working 5, 6 and 7 days a week, 12-13 hours a day, in jobs in which I was told NOT to speak ANY Japanese at work. I was hired to speak English. If you have work staff, for example, who all speak Spanish all day, and they work 6 days a week, maybe working 12 hours days to pay the rent, they may be too exhausted to study on their day off, too busy raising kids, too poor to pay for lessons. There could be a LOT of reasons other than "lazy and ignorant" to not know the language.

1point

Michael Se 3 years ago

People who constantly tell you how much and how hard they work. *eyeroll*

0points

Phil Vaive 3 years ago

Anyone who asks you about your views on a particular hot-button topic out of the blue. That person is just looking for a fight.

0points

POST

Agnes Jekyll 3 years ago

Someone once told me, "people tell you who they are, it's your responsibility to listen." I have not listened, many times, to my own detriment.

17points

Tami 3 years ago

Or I listen and then make excuses for them to avoid having to admit they did something sh*tty.

10points

MonsterMum 3 years ago

'Everyone is a little bit autistic' grrrr

14points

Don't Look 3 years ago

The f**k they are.

8points

Llama_flower93 3 years ago

5points

Troux 3 years ago

In my experience, "I'm a good person" has only been uttered by the worst people I've known, when they were caught at their worst. Put it right up there with "I'm a nice guy."

4points

Sean Harrison 3 years ago

0points

Natalia A 3 years ago (edited)

People who are everyone's buddy. In my experience, they are the most hurtful, narcissistic, abusive people around.

3points

Nubmaeme 3 years ago

2points

Hollysmom 3 years ago

Saying "I didn't upset you/make you angry, etc". "You made yourself upset/angry, etc". My father used to say this ad a way to not take responsibility for anything he did or said. Sorry dad.

2points

Kevin Hickey 3 years ago

"He's a nice guy once you get to know him." Translation: he's an azzhole, but you'll get used to it.

1point

Sean Harrison 3 years ago

Or, he/she's shy and guarded around people due to being s**t on by them for years, so it can take a while for him/her to let you in.

2points

Daniel (ShadowDrakken) 3 years ago

1point

Sean Harrison 3 years ago

Modern feminism isn't feminism, it's just Misandry in disguise.

-2points

Allen Lane Cook 3 years ago

When a new supervisor says I'm not a micromanager and I'm not into drama, it's guaranteed that they are actually both.

1point

First Name Last Name 3 years ago

1point

Llama_flower93 3 years ago

What are you referring to?

1point

Joyce Blodgett 1 year ago

0points

Claudia Friedrich 2 years ago

"I don' t know what i can say around you" when people don't like my response to that and wanted me to take in and act on bahalf of their "helpful" tips, because only they know what really is right

0points

Megan Contreras 3 years ago

0points

Anna Repp 3 years ago

0points

Grady'sRaider 3 years ago (edited)

Some sleazy but most of these are bullying, country simple.

0points

Petra, princess of Brigid 3 years ago

Another one is "no offense but (proceeds to say something incredibly offensive)"

0points

Crystal Pearson 3 years ago

People who claim they hate drama are usually the ones starting it.

0points

Crystal Pearson 3 years ago

Never trust a person who says trust me.

0points

Casey McAlister 3 years ago

People who like to advertise how kind and compassionate they are. It's one of those things you are supposed to show, not tell.

0points

MrOwlAteMyMetalWorm. 3 years ago

Now I am paranoid about the things I say.The world is becoming more sensitive but is it being considerate too?

0points

Grady'sRaider 3 years ago

This article covered 99% of the problem. If you have been on the receiving end of these, there is a good chance you don't practice them. Peace.

0points

Octavia Hansen 3 years ago

0points

Shane S 3 years ago

“I hate drama/I’m not a dramatic person” = I’m a dramabomb

0points

Grady'sRaider 3 years ago

I've found drama is complicated; truth is simple.

0points

Dimitris Jimi Iordanidis 3 years ago

0points

Mazer 3 years ago

0points

Renate Stargardt 3 years ago

0points

similarly 3 years ago

1point