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You’ve likely been in a situation where someone told you something that sounded rather absurd, and you began to find it laughable. After a few hearty chuckles, you then realized that what you heard was actually true, as you tried to navigate your way out of that awkward exchange.
We’ve all been there, and one way to shake off that embarrassing memory is to talk to someone about it. That was exactly what these people did on a Reddit thread a few years ago, sharing their “wait, you’re serious…” experiences.
If you’d had the same uncomfortable moments, we’d like to hear about them in the comment boxes below!
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
I was on a Christian camping week here in the UK. There were some Americans with us. I found a stone on the beach with some great fossils in it and was showing it to some kids. One of the Americans started talking about how God had put fossils in the earth to mislead the vain who trusted their own observations rather than the bible. I, naturally, thought he was joking and burst out laughing, and he was just so offended.
He complained about me to the people running the camp, and they thought he was joking at first and laughed too.
Freddy M. (He/Him) 23 hours ago
When it's all made up you tend to have disagreements on the specifics
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Kira Okah 20 hours ago
In the USA, creationism is backed by 22% of people with a university education, young earth creationism is the main form of creationism since the 1970s, so a good chunk of those likely believe it, 10% of the US population does. Educated people do believe in this too.
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Reemerger 1 day ago
I find it drole that some people think, if they only hold their ridiculous beliefs dear and firm enough, I am somehow magically compelled to respect them. I guess that's religion for ya...
Lotekguy 18 hours ago
There's a huge difference between respecting someone's right to have their beliefs, and respecting the actual beliefs they hold. We're only obligated to do the first one.
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Onan Hag All 21 hours ago
If you'll believe that god is so inept as to send himself to earth, to be born from a virgin, so we could k**l him, in order for him to forgive us, you'll believe any old sh!te.
The Other Guest 18 hours ago
That last bit was a big one for me. God makes the rules, so why doesn't he just make a rule that says "I forgive you for what you did, even without killing someone who didn't do it." If a person can forgive without punishing/murdering another person, surely he can, too.
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Dragons Exist 14 hours ago
"God had put fossils in the earth to mislead the vain who trusted their own observations rather than the bible" reminds me of a certain 1984 quote, except that instead of a political party, this is an entire subset of a subset of a group of similar-yet-different religions
Sam Trudeau 16 hours ago
The thing everyone misses is that just because animal wasn't mentioned in the Bible doesn't mean it doesn't exist. Like muskrats, seagulls, or house tigers
Kira Okah 1 day ago (edited)
Young Earth Creationists are quite uncommon in the UK. iirc it's estimated at 4% of creationists (who are 22% of the population) here, vs 10% of the population of the USA.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 1 day ago
....what's the timeline difference between a Young Earth Creationist and a regular Christian who believes in Creation instead of evolution? O_O;
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RELATED:
#2
New relationship with a super nice lady. Romantic weekend getaway. She suggests an afternoon float down a nearby river in a canoe. I know from experience canoeing is a serious test of relationship potential.; my ex-wife and I couldn't even carry a canoe from the beach to the bay without getting into an argument.
Anyhow, new relationship, super nice lady. I'm determined to be a great team player and competent man. I have plenty of experience on the water. This should be a cinch. Canoe livery guy drives us to the drop off. While he is taking the canoe off the trailer and telling us how long the float is and where the pick-up point is I am looking at the river. The wide, slow moving river. The extremely slow-moving river.
Along with the fact that it is a blustery windy day, I can't for the life of me tell which way the river flows. Some leaves are floating left, some leaves are floating right. I toss in a stick and it just floats around in a circle. I'm starting to sweat. I figure I have a 50/50 chance of guessing correctly but if I guess wrong it could be a disaster. Having to ask is a total embarrassment. I'm hoping the livery guy makes some reference to direction but no. I'm desperately hoping to see someone else float by but no. I picture us paddling upstream for two hours and being lost on the river.
Livery guy hands us our paddles and says, "So, if there's nothing else I'll see you in a couple hours. Have fun!"
I bite the bullet and decide that asking is the best way forward.
"Uh, yeah. Which way is downstream?"
Livery guy and Super nice lady both laugh thinking I'm joking.
"No, I'm serious"
Livery guy stops laughing and just points. I'm sure he was thinking that was the most stupid thing he had ever heard.
We paddle downriver a bit and Super nice lady says, "Boy, am I glad you asked. I thought downstream was the other way.".
katiekat0214 17 hours ago
Ask if you don't know! And consider a potential partner's reaction a litmus test. Are they chill and accepting, or judgy and blaming? If the latter, feel free to break up and bullet dodged.
Lotekguy 17 hours ago
We all use the phrase "dodged a bullet", but isn't it really Cupid's arrow that we are dodging? Jus' sayin'.
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Robert T 14 hours ago
Reminds me of the school trip with myself and another kid in a Canadian canoe on a lake. Strong wind and we couldn't paddle hard enough and getting blow farther and farther into the lake. Finished up getting towed back to shore. Oh, and before you ask, the lake was 10 miles long, so it we could have been all day before we made landfall!!!!
Maya_D 23 hours ago
Surely if you just get in the boat and don’t start paddling immediately, the current will move you in the right direction?
Peripheral Visionary 15 hours ago
No joke, there's a river I go camping on and always do a day or two camping and it 's tough going both ways cuz it's in a gorge and the wind pushes you the wrong way so in one direction, you are going against the current and going back the other way, you are fighting the wind currents
Lila Allen 10 hours ago
Winter break is coming... but until then, yup it's upstream through the rocky shoals
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veirdbuttrue 5 hours ago
Great outcome, we should never mock anyone who doesn't know something and asks!!!
#3
I understand people believing in the Bible, but it honestly never dawned on me that people took every story in it for truth instead of like... Stories with morals as to how to lead your life. A coworker of mine mentioned how dinosaurs weren't real because they aren't mentioned in the Bible and I laughed at his joke. He wasn't joking.
Kira Okah 1 day ago
Not just with the Bible, pretty much every religious text past and present (and associated legends) has adherents who take their texts this seriously.
Lyone Fein 21 hours ago
Taking something literally is not the same as taking something seriously.
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WindySwede 1 day ago
Cars, science etc? Atleast some believe that science is the devil?
Load More Replies... DH 1 day ago
Are octopuses mentioned in the Bible? Koalas? Kangaroos? Komodo. Dragons? I mean, there are more real things in the world not mentioned in the Bible than that are. What kind of argument is that.
Reemerger 1 day ago
The fact that an omniscient god's word only covers topics concerning a very specific part of the world while not even hinting at the existence of e.g. other continents should sorta kinda highlight the parochial origin of this shoddily cobbled together fiction. But it's good enough for some, too many really.
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Tucker Cahooter 1 day ago
Well Australia isn't mentioned in the Bible either and we all know that place isn't for real too (we're all paid actors)
Beak Hookage 21 hours ago
Are you getting stiffed on your paychecks too? I've been doing this for nearly 40 years and haven't seen a cent!
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Floeckchen 1 day ago
as if the bible isn't contradicting itself several times. Also apologists usually only ever use the verses that confirm their own narrative
Sam Trudeau 16 hours ago
Yeah. I'm one of the Christians that says something doesn't have to be mentioned in the Bible to happen. We all know of North America, Antarctica, neither mentioned in the Bible. So I guess... I'm typing this on a computer while actively swimming?
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Earonn - 18 hours ago
In general I have the feeling that people are less and less capable to understand stories not literally but as metaphors.
Jackie Lulu 16 hours ago
Since critical thinking isn't taught any more....
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WonderWoman 14 hours ago
Literally the Bible is a collection of stories told and retold, all as guidelines of life - there are no more facts in the Bible than their are in Grimm's fairytales.
Giles McArdell 17 hours ago
So, by this logic, many other animals don't exist either, including, I just found out, domestic cats! Good to know all those cute little d1ckhead$ that keep pooping in my vegatable garden are just figments of my imagination.
#4
An intern at the vet I work at was a very very very sheltered Mormon.
He came to work one day panicked. He had his first kiss the night before, asked the girl to marry him, and was concerned about his wedding date.
He was absolutely convinced that he got her pregnant by kissing her. ABSOLUTELY CONVINCED.
It took me a long time to register what he was panicked about because it sounded so absurd. He'd delivered hundreds of kittens and puppies by then, I just... thought he had also learned about human reproductive anatomy as well as animals by then.
BC_Animus 22 hours ago (edited)
Cats and dogs kiss too you know... sometimes while eating pasta even. Wait, oh no, is the pasta pregnant too now?!
LakotaWolf (she/her) 22 hours ago
Heck, my dog "kisses" my cat all the time... are they BOTH pregnant?! :O They're both boys, but you never kn-- WAIT it means my dog is GAY! :O!! (lots of jk)
Load More Replies... LakotaWolf (she/her) 1 day ago
I think if he was Mormon, he didn't believe in evolution, and I'm not sure exactly what their religious texts say, but I think the standard Biblical texts generally say that God created all the animals of the earth, sea, and sky, but that humans were extra-speshul and "created in His image", so of COURSE we're not ANIMALS, jeez! /s XD
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Earonn - 17 hours ago
What good could it possibly do to keep an adult ignorant about even the most basic facts of life?
Rob Stevens 16 hours ago
control. Easier to pull it off if you keep 'em dumb and scared.
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Yayheterogeneity 12 hours ago
Sorry Cee Cee. My mom did too. I always felt so sorry she had to go through that and she made very sure I grew up knowing all about s*x and stuff.
Load More Replies... Tucker Cahooter 1 day ago
I bet he is nervously standing outside scanning the sky for the first sign of the stork too
TonjaLasagne 13 hours ago
My oldest brother told me that our Mom thought she was pregnant after being kissed by his father for the first time. This was up in Canada, our Mom and his father were being taught by the Jesuits, who kept the First Nations boys & girls separated by a fence (they kissed through the fence: she was 16 & had zero idea about reproduction. Of coarse not, after being yanked from your family & taught by the Jesuits).
#5
Breaking news: "People panic buying toilet paper"
Me at home: "Hahaha"
Me at grocery store: "Oh wait you're serious".
Agfox 1 day ago (edited)
There's a fine line between people & lemmings at times. Edited to add because people are misrepresenting/misunderstanding my comment: I was referring to the fact that lemmings congregate in large groups & exhibit similar behaviours at times
WindySwede 1 day ago
"A person is smart, people are dumb..." - Men In Black.
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amy lee 20 hours ago
That's a very charitable way if looking at it. I like it
Load More Replies... LakotaWolf (she/her) 1 day ago
I started working retail at a fancy expensive "farmer's market" grocery store in the summer of 2019... RIGHT before the pandemic really hit. All of us workers were like "lol nah no one is going to buy our stupidly-overpriced store-brand TP and water lol" - haha we were wrong. Our shelves were bare for MONTHS - the second we'd get a shipment of TP or pallets of water and the grocery dept workers would stock them, they'd be GONE within an hour. And then, of course, all of the irate customers who were positive we had entire warehouses full of TP and water in the back that we were keeping from them when the shelves were bare - they'd demand we go "check the back" to see if we had any (we didn't, even my dept [vitamins] knew we didn't, lol) but the employees would get harangued into checking. Then they'd report what they'd already known, and angry customer would demand to see a manager, who would confirm what the employee had said - that we hadn't gotten TP or water in stock in WEEKS XD
moggiemoo 17 hours ago (edited)
This made me snigger. " The "toilet roll hoarder" refers to an incident in April 2020 where a man in Australia tried to return thousands of dollars' worth of bulk toilet paper and hand sanitizer to a supermarket after failing to resell them online for profit, but was refused a refund by the store's director, who called his actions "disgraceful" and a cause of shortages."
KatSaidThat 22 hours ago
The UK having to announce that this virus does not give you the s***s and stop being selfish.
Auntriarch 21 hours ago
About the only part of the body that it didn't affect
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Kombatbunni 1 day ago
Didn’t believe it until I saw it for myself. Rolled my eyes so hard I think I hurt myself 🤦🏻♀️
Beak Hookage 21 hours ago
Someone got freaking STABBED over toilet paper. No joke, it happened.
Nikole 7 hours ago
Whaaaaaa? At least there was something around to absorb the blood...
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#6
Coworker was telling me the world was flat. I'd never met a real flat earther in the wild before that.
Floeckchen 1 day ago
I still hadn't have the (un-)fortunate delight to meet a real FLERFer but a coworker was an activist against Chemtrails...
Dave Van Beurden 22 hours ago
I still think about the time a flat earther commented that the flat earth society was becoming a global movement...
Kid Murray 16 hours ago
One of the few benefits of getting older is you, or at least I, stop needing to start or win arguments. If I ever have a flat-earther start babbling their nonsense at me, I'll just say "Yep, it sure is" and walk away. I just don't care. Usually people like this give it away early. Like you can tell when they approach you that they're thrilled they've found someone to educate. I find a firm loud NO GO AWAY, puts a lovely look of hurt and confusion on their faces. Misanthropy has it's pleasures.
SchadenFreudian Psychology 15 hours ago
🏆 I just say something like, “Whatever.” 🤷🏻♀️
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Stardust she/her 18 hours ago
I find it ironic that my own mother is a flat earther because her kid (me) is heavily interested in astronomy lol. She’ll argue with me and say that it’s just wrong that the earth is round
Stardust she/her 18 hours ago
You can always meet my mum, she thinks that believing that earth is round is just an ‘opinion’ and that I don’t respect people’s opinions when I give her the dozens of proofs against her beliefs
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SweetCheesySpaghetti 17 hours ago
My old neighbor was 100% convinced that the moon was just a hologram. She told me all about it, and even said "I'm sorry no one taught you the truth!"
Karl der Große 15 hours ago
I studied various flat earth theories (mostly by watching Sci-Man Dan) and tried to convince my students that the earth is flat. I did this so they could try to understand how people came to the conclusion that the earth is an "oblate spheroid" and what sort of evidence they could point to in support of that idea. I think a lot of people think flat-earthers are stupid, but they haven't really analyzed why they accept the sphere earth. Usually it's because someone they trusted told them that, not because they really know it for themselves.
#7
Yesterday my mother called to tell me that she thinks I have the coronavirus. I have seasonal allergies and no symptoms related to the virus, btw. She then proceeded to tell me that scientists discovered the virus cannot live over 133 degrees Fahrenheit. At first I got excited that a break through had been made and thought maybe I missed the news announcement. Then she said "Yeah. So they are saying if you plug in a hairdryer and keep breathing in the hot air it will k**l the virus and you will be fine!"
I immediately started cracking up because I thought she had made a joke. Then she got very offended and said it was a "real scientific video" she saw on facebook. Facepalm.
Bob Brooce 1 day ago
I'd ask if your mother is named Melania, but if she is you wouldn't know enough to post the story.
Joe Reaves 1 day ago
Be fair, Barron is a computer genius according to his father. His father turned it off and minutes later walked past and it was on again. (I'm not kidding about this story)
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LakotaWolf (she/her) 1 day ago
I got my COVID booster and flu shot vaccines a couple of weeks ago. I've always had bad reactions to the flu shot (have had THAT reaction for decades - I got the flu vax every year for 20+ years because my disabled dad lived at home; he died in 2021) and I've also had bad reactions to the COVID shots/boosters. Nothing too horrible, just a few days to a week of feeling really cruddy and achy and feeling basically like I have a low-grade flu XD The weekend I got the shots, I was feeling really icky, but my sister asked me to go next door and help them with something. My mom saw how off I was and said "OMG ARE YOU SICK??" I said no, it's the SAME reactions I get to the SAME vaccines, every year. She said she also felt sick/similar symptoms so "we must have the same illness." lolwhat? XD She refused to believe that I wasn't "sick". Ironically, she goes to one of our local tribal casinos nearly every weekend, so she was probably ACTUALLY sick with a cold/flu XD
Anne Roberts 13 hours ago
I was a teacher and always had bad reactions to the TB tine test. People would get all worried until my doctor said I was just having a reaction to one of the ingredients. No, I never had TB.
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BeesEelsAndPups 10 hours ago
I mean, I'd be willing to bet that a temperature of 133F / 56C will indeed k**l the Corona virus. Most virus protein and RNA break down at high temperatures like that. The problem is that getting the human body to 56C will k**l you too. Temps above 43C / 109F are fatal and even if survived, will likely cause brain damage. You can expose yourself to high temperatures without it actually raising your body temp by very much, so long as the air is dry enough that your body dissipates that heat. But if your body temperature rises high enough, you will get heatstroke and die. Breathing in the air from a hair dryer, could also lead to burns in your mouth and throat, so I wouldn't recommend it. Furthermore, it won't do anything to raise your body temp.
#8
"It's ridiculous that tampon ads aren't banned. The fact they're allowed in public just goes to show that women have too much power"
This wasn't in response to a particularly graphic ad that pushed any boundaries. Just a generic type about comfort and reliability. Took me a while to realize that he wasn't joking.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 1 day ago
I guess Viagra and all other ED advertisements should be banned as well! XD
Daya Meyer 1 day ago
Yeah, let's dominate the world with tampons, nail polish and nice pink aprons!
Lotekguy 17 hours ago
Don't forget the string of pearls. Those were ubiquitous in the 1950s.
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Cindy Brick 1 day ago
Does this mean that the latest "male incontinence" ads prove that guys have too much power, then?
Reemerger 1 day ago
the fact that they don't know only proves the conspiratorial nature of the whole subversive enterprise. Circular logic is a helluva logic.
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Beak Hookage 21 hours ago
Tampons are pleasure devices now? I don't use the wretched things because far from being pleasurable, they're freaking uncomfortable!
Anne Roberts 13 hours ago
I never got any pleasure from them. On the other hand, menopause was very welcome!
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Knucklehead 21 hours ago
All ads should be be banned, if we need it, we already know. If we don't need it, the product has to be good enough, and we'd hear about it naturally.
Ronja Oksanen 18 hours ago
Yes, tampons are to us like the ring is for Green Lantern, beware! 😅
#9
I went to a Southern Baptist church a few times. The preacher mentioned the Earth being 6-8000 years old (or whatever absurd number it was). I had to internalize my giggle. After I left I mentioned it to a friend and was about to make a smart a*s comment when she interrupted me to tell me how glad she was the preacher doesn’t mind speaking the truth. I started laughing thinking she was joking. She is well educated...evidently not a fan of science. She proceeded to tell me that things like carbon dating hasn’t been proven. But the Bible? Solid proof.
Bored Sailor 14 hours ago
Thank you for reminding everybody that stereo typing is wrong if race, religion, skin color or anything else. Tired of people getting upset over stereo typing one thing and agreeing other stereo types that fit their thought is ok.
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LakotaWolf (she/her) 1 day ago
Dinosaurs just refused to get onto the Ark with Noah, just like those a-hole unicorns! And that's why we don't have dinosaurs or unicorns today XD (Shel Silverstein reference)
Kristiina Männiste 23 hours ago
So that explains Nessie - Plesiosaurs could swim, so they survived the flood despite their refusal to go on the ark. Ahh it all makes sense now
Load More Replies... Hugo 20 hours ago
Created in the night before 23 October 4004 BC. Calculated by James Ussher, who was an archbishop so it must be accurate.
SchadenFreudian Psychology 14 hours ago
FFS. Although I’m educated (master’s degree), I’m pretty weak in science and math. But I learned enough to believe scientists more than I believe religions.
Kathy 13 hours ago
I am always amazed they ignore how unbelievably superstitious people were back then when they were writing these scrolls. "Oh no fire is falling from the sky, God is mad at us."
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Beady El 15 hours ago
The parts we agree with, that is. Being in the Bible gives it the gravitas we want, but we still reserve the right to ignore the sections that are inconvenient or embarrassing. Our liking it is the REAL final hurdle. I guess what I mean is: we expect you to treat our personal views and preferences as if they came directly from God.
Chris the Bobcat 8 hours ago
I went with my girlfriend and her family to a southern baptist church. Afterward, I met the preacher. He told me my family was going to hell by not attending church regularly. I honestly regret not beating his head in to this day. Jesus may have been a decent guy, but his fan club needs some work.
BrownEyedGrrl 16 hours ago
I have an uncle who says carbon dating is bs. He also said he was invited to join Mensa but he's just too busy. He & his wife are super religious.
#10
A coworker was talking about a problem her daughter was having. Coworker was in her late 30's and daughter is about 13-14. Her daughter was conflicted because her best friend since birth (born same day same hospital literally since birth) became friends with a black boy and wants to date this black boy. "But God said its wrong to date outside your race. It isn't natural and it's against God. Black people are fine but they can't date and procreate with white people it's wrong and a sin." So she is having a spiritual battle on leave her friend, or save her friend from this sin.
She had me in the first half then all that racism came out, and..... I couldn't believe it for a moment then I remembered, "Oh yeah, I am in Arkansas.".
Mike F 1 day ago
I knew a couple of guys from Arkansas many years ago and, to this day, have never met anyone so overtly racist.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 1 day ago
I've lived in Southern California (in melting-pot central, basically) my entire life, and I was adopted into a family that is not the same race/ethnicity as I am, so I've never experienced the "white people as far as the eye can see" sundown-town type racism. Then I saw that one episode of Top Gear where the boys got run out of Alabama just for painting certain, er, slogans on their vehicles. I've READ about plenty of horrible racial crimes/etc. that have taken place in the South in history, but it never really hit home til that episode JUST how bad it can be there. It's scary and sad that it exists even to this day. :(
Load More Replies... Bob Brooce 1 day ago
Arkansas - where they completely believe the bible but don't have a clue what it actually says.
Kristiina Männiste 1 day ago
The soviet union used to have a similar thing in reverse. Every time a book got banned all citizens were expected (like G***G, if you dont, expected) to publicly condemn the said book (there were like meetings for that and stuff). But to have read the book was a crime too, as it was, ya know, banned. And where would you even have access to it. So to fulfill both of the regimes rules, the people coined the term: "(I) havent read (it) but I condemn (it)". Guess the Arkansas version would say, "havent read it, but I absolutely believe what it says"
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Lyone Fein 21 hours ago
Where do people get these weird ideas about what God says or wants? None of it is biblical.
Chich the witch 15 hours ago
I think they got that far and started going backwards.
Load More Replies... Michael Largey 16 hours ago
If mixed race marriages are against God's will, then why are mixed gender ones ok?
Grumpy old man 13 hours ago
Women are gross, right! Boy, do I have such sights to show you~~ Pinhead
Load More Replies... Dragons Exist 13 hours ago
I used to have to go to Arkansas one every few years (family), it is extremely racist
Earonn - 17 hours ago
The American sickness is alive and well. And they wonder why they get shyte people at the top. That's because too many of you are against good people just because they're dark-skinned, and the white scum floats to the top.
S Bow 16 hours ago
Racism isn't solely an American phenomenon, there's plenty in lots of other countries.
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#11
I asked a coworker with what his son's name was, and he answered Legolas. After two seconds of laughing I realised he wasn't laughing. His son is actually named Legolas.
Onan Hag All 21 hours ago
Friend; "What did you name your son, I've forgotten?" Acquaintance; " Lorean, after the car". Friend: "Ah, I knew it was something daft".
Lotekguy 17 hours ago
I misread that at first, thinking that "Acquaintance" was the name they gave the kid. That would have meant that young Acquaintance be forgot.
Load More Replies... Beak Hookage 21 hours ago
As a kid I used to complain about how "boring" my name is! I should have been grateful I had an ordinary name which also did not rhyme with anything embarrassing because boy would that have given the bullies even more ammunition.
David Morgan 16 hours ago
Beak Hookage was a normal kids name? Where did you grow up? /s
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Start Wearing Purple 12 hours ago
there was a Daenaris at my kid's daycare a couple of years ago 😬
Load More Replies... #12
I‘m a first aid instructor in Germany and I was at a retirement home, teaching the staff. A women told me, that she read on Facebook, that the only thing you need to do, when someone has a stroke, is to stick a needle into the patients finger, because there will be something like a pressure equalization in the brain.
I started laughing because I thought it was a joke... she was 100% serious and I had to explain her that it’s not true, that it is really important to call an ambulance because a stroke is really dangerous and that Facebook isn’t the best source for medical questions.
Kkg 23 hours ago
I had a friend who graduated chemistry and wanted to do PhD and told me that microwaves are dangerous because they change the structure of proteins. I said "... like every type of cooking?". Then she proceeded to tell me that she saw a video on Facebook that someone had 2 plants and watered one with tap water and the other one with a microwaved water and the latter died. I did not continue this conversation.
Lazy Panda 2 21 hours ago
Well pouring boiling water on plants will k**l them. No matter how you boiled the water.
Load More Replies... GalPalAl 18 hours ago
The part that is so apalling about this post is that people really do still believe if it is on the internet it must be true.
The Other Guest 18 hours ago
I wasn't sure you were right, then I remembered you posted it on the internet so it must be true.
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Lee Grainger 12 hours ago
The saying, blowing smoke up your backside comes from England, London specifically. Where instead of life rings, there were pipes and matches all along the river Thames. This was incase someone drowned, you would pull them out of the water , pull down their trousers, light the pipe and blow smoke up their backside. It didn't work, who know. So that is why it became a saying
Mark Alexander 10 hours ago
ah... you're blowing smoke up my ... Hey! Wait a minute.
Load More Replies... WonderWoman 14 hours ago
Facebook, tiktok, Instagram, reddit - DO NOT GET YOUR MEDICAL INFORMATION THERE.
Kenneth Smith 8 hours ago
I hope this goes without saying, but if you can't hold both arms even and level while you're holding them straight out, or if your facial muscles are drooping, or if you're not speaking coherently, literal seconds matter between death, permanent damage, or a reasonable recovery. Don't try to sleep it off. Dial 911 immediately. Don't listen to what your moron family member tells you when they say to blow it off or use some quack treatment. Your life is in immediate danger. Go to the hospital. If you eff around with a stroke, you *will* find out.
AuntKaren12 4 hours ago
unrelated to the topic, but I finally had to start shaming a co-worker for buying certain types of products (anti-wrinkle cream was the latest venture) based on facebook. she finally stopped purchasing things.
LB 12 hours ago
Except bloodletting is actually still in use and is legit. My husband has a blood cancer and has to go for bloodletting on occasion to prevent a buildup of red blood cells that would cause him to have a stroke. But that's actually scientifically proven, unlike bloodletting to 'balance the humors' that was done historically.
Load More Replies... #13
Waking up from general anesthesia. One of the nurses by my hospital bed gently informs me that my heart had stopped while I was under.
I thought I was dreaming for a while, and didn't take it seriously. Then my dad showed up, and I saw the panic on his face. Then I phoned my mum, and she had obviously been crying her eyes out.
Then I took it seriously.
Lazy Panda 2 1 day ago
To be fair to OP, your brain isn't working that well when you come out of an anesthetic.
Bored Sailor 14 hours ago
My first time going into AFib was under anesthesia and when I came to the nurse was freaking out and asking how I felt, and I was like fine are we done. She was like no we had to stop and the ambulance well be here soon to take you to the hospital. Finally dawned on me she was serious and I was in a life threatening condition. Well apparently I made it or a ghost is writing this, on meds now all good.
Ellinor she/they/elle 16 hours ago
Sofia, have you ever heard of Empathy ? Imagine one second being a parent that thought that your child was going to d!e. Now imagine waking up from anesthesia and see your parents who thought that you were going to d!e.
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#14
'My favourite musician is David Hasselhoff'. I laughed straight in her face. Mind you, this is 30 years ago, but even then...
Christian Homuth 23 hours ago
In my German primary school in ca 1985 there were two factions: the kids who liked David Hasselhoff and the ones that liked Michael Jackson. There was no third option.
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Michael Largey 16 hours ago
Perhaps this person hates music and is stating his case by starting with his strongest evidence.
Earonn - 17 hours ago
Bet OP wouldn't have liked to be laughed in their face for whatever strange band they loved. Gosh, yes, he wasn't a new Mozart, just one of the "let's just have fun" bands in the 80s, get over it, kids. At least as far as we know they didn't find dead girls in the trunk of his car.
Kathy 13 hours ago
Ok, they legit thought they ment the actor. Obviously they never heard of the German guy. Neither have I. Calm down.
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TonjaLasagne 13 hours ago
That's like saying your favorite singer is Scott Baio (I knew this because I used to read Tiger Beat, NOT because I'm a fan).
#15
When I was in high school I received a message over msn from a buddy saying, "Mitch is dead."
Thinking he got into trouble, I responded with, " Ahaha What'd he do?"
It turns out, he had a brain aneurysm while driving home from school.
Freddy M. (He/Him) 23 hours ago
Sorry to hear that. Sending messages like that is bound to lead to misunderstandings - the sender should've explained in more detail or called instead
KatSaidThat 22 hours ago (edited)
Was about to say why would you not call. But then remembered I broke the news of my mother's death to her brother in messenger (they weren't speaking) and in return got a message saying he too had shuffled 48 hours earlier.
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UnclePanda 19 hours ago
A comedy classic: A man goes on vacation... And calls up his buddy to see if he'll watch over the house and, more importantly, the cat. "Sure thing, Jim! You know I love Tiger! You just enjoy your trip and I'll call you if anything pops up." Two days later, Jim is sunbathing on a cruise ship when his phone rings. He recognizes his buddy's number and answers the phone. "Jim... I'm not sure how to tell you this... Tiger died yesterday. He ran out the front door and was hit by a car." After a moment for the shock to wear off, Jim finally composes himself. "Thanks for letting me know, but you really could have softened the blow for me. Tiger was my everything you know." "Well... how should I have gone about telling you in a better way?" The friend asks. "It's simple actually. You call on the first day and say 'Tiger is on the roof and I can't get him down.' Then, the next day, you call again and say 'Tiger fell off the roof, but I took him to the vet and ...
UnclePanda 18 hours ago
and it looks like he's going to be ok.' The next update would be 'Tiger took a turn for the worse, but there is still hope for a recovery.' And finally, you call the next day and say 'Tiger passed away peacefully in his sleep.'" "Wow," his buddy says, "I really should have done this. I am so sorry for just dumping it on you, but I want you to know that you should still enjoy your vacation and I'll be here for you when you return." After thanking him, Jim goes back to enjoying his cruise, the news about Tiger slowly fading from his mind. Three days later, Jim's phone rings, again coming from his friend. "What's up?" Jim asks. "I just wanted to let you know that your mother is on the roof and I can't get her down."
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shg stewart 11 hours ago
I got a message on Facebook Messenger telling me my best friend was dead, and at first I honestly thought it was some kind of scam. Turns out my friend's mom didn't know any other way to get in touch with me. I asked her for a phone number and called to confirm. My friend had indeed died, of an aortic aneurysm.
#16
I came into my job and my boss was running a bit late for an unknown reason. Now, my boss is the type of person to joke about anything, no matter how serious it is and will pull it off with a straight face.
We never really take him seriously unless it is directly related to work. He comes in after being late and after a bit, just casually says our close coworker had passed the previous night.
I literally chuckled and said "Yah, sure" and blew it off. He then said that he died from a heart attack before he was set to go out with his buddies during the evening.
I then said "Oh wait, are you actually serious?" and he almost started crying right there and said yes.
I miss that man to this day, really chill guy with some cool hobbies and volunteer work. I also feel so bad for my boss because they had known each other for years.
Peripheral Visionary 14 hours ago
This is why I hate people who make a joke about everything. It's not funny.
Rafael 11 hours ago
I have a rule to be ver joke about anything this serious. I can do the straight face very well, so I try to save it for absurd stuff.
Load More Replies... #17
A random dude told me I’m girly because I know how to make scrambled eggs.
Daisydaisy 1 day ago
I think men need to stop worrying about what other men (the stupid bullying ones) think of them. Write poetry! Save forests! Fight racism! Dance and giggle and paint your nails! Don't let the worst of men define what masculinity means!
Jeff Hunt 22 hours ago
Indeed you are. Eat the manly poached egg or the even more testosterone filled soft boiled egg.
JL 15 hours ago (edited)
That seems backwards to me. Scrambled eggs seem like the most 'manly' of eggs because you have to flex your muscles to beat them. If there was an egg dish to question one's manhood, others seem more likely, maybe poached or soft-boiled?
K Barnes 16 hours ago
My friend's brother moved out in his early 20s and drove home for breakfast before work every morning (also for dinner and mommy packed his lunch). I was like man, I can show you how to fry an egg, but he said it was too much work. Mom also cleaned his house once a week. His wife is a lucky lady.
#18
When a coworker told me that climate change isn’t real because “I have a friend in England and it’s snowing there”
One of those moments where your brain blue screens you so all you can do is just walk away.
Skogsrået 23 hours ago
Well tbf how do you argue with people that refuse to belive in science or facts?
Rob Stevens 16 hours ago
well, for starters, if you have half a brain, you don't put them in high public offices...
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SchadenFreudian Psychology 14 hours ago
I’m in Virginia (U.S.) and it snowed here yesterday and the day before. So now I can stop worrying about climate change? /s
Grumpy old man 13 hours ago
To be fair: the FACT that the Gulf Stream is the only thing keeping Britain and Ireland WARM, is what confuses them. When the Arctic finally melts, and cools said Gulf Stream, and snow and ice covers Britain and Ireland and they all die, then they will believe
KatWitch57 14 hours ago
Someone needs to inform him that England doesn't have 'climate', it has 'weather'. And yes, that is changing too.
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Huddo's sister 7 hours ago
There has been snow in Australia this summer, what would they say to that I wonder (also, this type of person is why we have switched from calling it global warming to climate change)
Lady Eowyn 19 hours ago
That's about as believable as anything else you've said. In other words, not at all.
Load More Replies... #19
Through high school I had a friend who was rather secretive about his crushes. There was one crush in particular that he refused to name, so I spent weeks guessing and pestering him. But I wore him down and he agreed to tell me, so I said "Finally! Who is this girl?" And he said "... It's not a girl." I thought he was joking so I laughed and said "No, really who is it?" And he just stared at me. Super embarrassing for me, but he and his boyfriend are very happy now!
Octopus Lasers 11 hours ago
Rude for pushing. Seriously if someone says leave it alone you leave it alone. Don’t be that person
#20
When my 60 year old father told me he broke his hip paragliding into the roof of his hotel.
Edit: I should add it was my parents 60th birthday and this was their "wild spontaneous" event.
#21
This was a few years ago. I forgot how the topic was brought up, but I clearly remember my older sister saying, “There aren’t any modern buildings in Egypt, just pyramids”.
Sandra Angulo 1 day ago
It’s true, but you can sit in an ancient Taco Bell with a great view of the pyramids.
JL 15 hours ago
If you eat at a Taco Bell in Egypt, is it still Montezuma's revenge, or is it the mummy's curse?
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Chris Landrum 14 hours ago
to me the wildest thing is how close they are to a city, always thought they were miles from everything
Beak Hookage 2 hours ago
Because the Ancient Egyptians lived in them, you know, instead of having houses.
#22
Was working a job while in early days of college. It was in a popular American restaurant chain where I had been successful as a host, cashier, waiter, and member of their retail store for just about a year. I accidentally forgot that I had swapped shifts with someone and missed the shift entirely. But I came in a few hours after it had started to sincerely apologize and let them know I was going home to change and I’d be right back.
They brought me to the back and told me I was fired. I laughed at first because the boss was occasionally a bit of a jokester. Then I realized he was serious.
To this day it gives me massive anxiety about underperforming in any job I have because I believe I will just be fired for it and they’ll move on regardless of my tenure or knowledge.
DH 1 day ago
You are better off in another workplace rather than working somewhere where they value compliance over experience or work ethic. Stuff happens, sometimes you will mess up. Everyone does.
Rick Murray 11 hours ago
Wouldn't it be nice to work somewhere where employees have rights so managers need to understand that sometimes people mess up rather than just firing them as expendable waste?
PandaPadi 21 hours ago
I dont know which year this happened. But if it happened in an era where mobile phones exist, then I wonder why the manager/boss did not give a call to OP. Then they would have understood the reason why OP was not there yet. Anything could have happened (accident, illness etc). The way they didnt care to look out for their employee when they didnt show up demonstrates how important people are to their eyes. Now coming to the topic where they fired him because of this event. If it was a one off event and OP was not repetitively making mistakes, it was really poorly managed. A slap on the wrist would have been enough, together with going over the shift changes with OP again and making sure he has a copy of the rosters so that noone misses out.
Daniel Hilliard 9 hours ago
Unfortunately I feel that is ABSOLUTELY the case, although there are unfair dismissal laws to a point at the end of the day, business only cares how much they can make off you not FOR you, and HR is there to protect the company not to make you feel better. It's bleak but in a weird way by keeping it real you can potentially not over-extend yourself for people who won't care at the end of the day.
#23
Met this conspiracy theorist at a coffee shop. He tells me that all the technological advances since World War II are from aliens. President Truman signed a treaty with them. The aliens dole out microwaves, computers, etc. and in return they can abduct a few people for tests. When that Malaysian flight disappeared the aliens needed a bunch of people.
Bob Brooce 1 day ago
To be fair, this one sounds almost plausible except that I'd hope the government wouldn't let them abduct people at random. We've got far more people to offer than they could possibly need, if we limit them to people who deserve to be abducted. Edit: Never mind. I just remembered that they bring them back, so it wouldn't be as useful a restriction as it could be.
Ace 1 day ago
Bwaahaahaa... oh wait, you're serious? You really think this is plausible?
Load More Replies... Lotekguy 17 hours ago
My first thought was that governments have shown themselves to be too inept to keep that big a secret that long. But a deeper truth might be that they bungle their way through so much just to convince us they're not capable of keeping bigger secrets. Discuss among yourselves.
Beak Hookage 2 hours ago (edited)
Reminds me of that South Park episode where they find out all the 9-11 conspiracies are a government conspiracy made to fool the public into thinking the government would ever be that competent and in control of things instead of being 99% inept morons.
Load More Replies... Chris the Bobcat 8 hours ago
Well, they did find Amelia Earhart and Fred Noonan in cryogenic stasis on an alien planet in Star Trek Voyager...
Earthquake903 1 day ago
A lot of people believe this because of how rapidly we advanced technologically
LakotaWolf (she/her) 23 hours ago
"I'm not saying that it was aliens... but it was absolutely aliens."
Load More Replies... Ravenkbh 15 hours ago
Then tell them Aliens to come fix my crappy microwave! the d@mn thing hasn't worked in months!
nottheactualphoto 9 hours ago
If it won't turn on, check the safety interlock switches. They're probably misaligned.
Load More Replies... #24
This is, essentially, a transcript of a conversation I got to sit in on, between a make-up artist and a teamster on the way to set:
Driver: “Did you see that super-moon last night?
MUA: “Yep! Saw it, and *felt* it!”
Driver: “Felt it?”
MUA: “Oh yeah! I mean, they say that moons - *full moons* - control the tides and the water; and we’re seventy percent water! So it must affect us too!”
This one is followed closely by my “it’s going to rain today, because a few planes just passed over, and chem-trails control the weather” conversation with a camera operator on another show. It was summer. In Malibu. It didn’t rain. Of course it didn’t rain.
Edit: One more springs to mind. I worked with a guy who was in his early 40s and in great shape. He firmly believed that his habit of eating his desserts first at every meal meant that those calories didn’t effect him. I’m no nutritionist, but I’m fairly certain that him doing morning and evening workouts, carrying a medicine ball around all day, and doing push-ups between every camera setup during 12+ hour shooting days was probably more responsible for his health.
WindySwede 1 day ago
I would say first food then dessert in middle, and then top it of with food again. To encapsulate it?.....
Bob Brooce 1 day ago
The moon does pull on you. Of course it doesn't matter what the phase is, and you can't feel it.
TiNaBoNiNa 9 hours ago
Everyone knows that if you eat dessert off of someone else's plate, the calories don't count.
RomanceRadish 13 hours ago
The moon controls tides because of gravity, not specifically because of the chemical composition of water.
Crystalwitch60 21 hours ago
Actually he’s not wrong , the moon can control our moods just the same , I’ve noticed it on other people ,their moods get very down ,n miserable , entire times the moons full then back to normal after it really is a thing fact
Hugo 20 hours ago
There's even a word 'lunatic', meaning someone who is affected by the moon (Latin luna).
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#25
The gal we rented our apartment from very seriously said, “there is one thing I need to warn you about.” We we’re ready for anything after this somber statement. “The last people who lived here say the apartment is haunted.” We laughed, and said, “haha- you got us! You sounded so serious at first!” She stared at us blankly- she totally meant it.
Robin Roper 1 day ago
My husband and I own a house that had belonged to his grandparents. When we lived there, lots of odd things happened we couldn't explain. Later we move and rented the house to a woman who told us she had seen a sprit; with no clue from us, she identified the spirt in a group photo. It was my husband's grandfather.
Grumpy old man 13 hours ago
My exfiancee talked to her dead grandfather when she was a child, and now shes a dancing naked at stinehenge wickerman type witch. Dodged that bullet
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Winter 18 hours ago
Apparently ghosts seem to be real - or some are, anyway! We had a ghost in the house we lived in many years ago. I saw him first - we (me, my husband, and our two young (then) daughters) were all going out, and I was the last person out of the house. As I pulled the door closed behind me, a young man (about maybe 18?) walked down the hall in front of me, smiled, and turned and walked through the *thoroughly closed* door into the lounge room! After that, we all saw him, on and off, and items would suddenly disappear for a couple of months, then just as suddenly, re-appear, *exactly* where they'd disappeared from! Go figure! We called him "Roger the unwelcome lodger", but he was actually quite nice. Our cats could see him too, even when we couldn't - you'd see their heads and eyes following... something ... walking through the rooms... They accepted him as just something a bit - odd - in the house.
Joe Reaves 1 day ago
In some places the seller is required to disclose if the place is believed to be haunted, it might be the same for landlords..
UnclePanda 18 hours ago
I told people the ghost that came with my house and I cut a deal - she dealt with the mice and insects and I fixed the place up - and things were going great. They tended to stand away from me after that, which was my goal all along.
Meg Sampson 13 hours ago
I live in a house built by my good friend's grandparents. Occasionally, I smell cherry pipe tobacco (I don't smoke), a vanilla-scented perfume, and Tide laundry detergent ( I'm allergic to that one). Things disappear and return months later in strange places. But I brought my own ghosts with me, too! Each of my kids had a lady who sat with them at night and took care of them. They were born 5 years apart, and didn't think to tell each other about her. She was a neighbour who had died when I was pregnant with the first,
Michael Largey 16 hours ago (edited)
She didn't say she thought the apartment was haunted. She just relayed the fact that the previous tenants thought so. They probably heard sounds they couldn't explain, and now the new people have been told that they might as well. And if you've read this far - Boo!
#26
Back in college, me and a few of my guys would get lunch every Tuesday. Me and two of the guys are there as normal and are waiting for our last guy "Todd". I start texting Todd and asking him about not being at lunch yet. The other guys start narrating what I should text. So I end up saying:
"Matt says get your roly-poly looking a*s over here."
"Steve says that you're the personification of washing your hands and getting your sweater sleeves wet."
It goes on like that for a bit, then Todd calls me directly. He says he can't make it because his grandma died that morning and was headed home to see his family.
The look on the other two guys faces when I told them was priceless.
Apatheist Account2 20 hours ago
Twice I've had colleagues at work tell me "It can't be that bad!". On both occasions a close colleague had died.
#27
I play a lot of disc golf and this guy I played with regularly, but is a little off, meets me at a local community college course one day and starts telling me about the last time he played there, and how he threw a shot over the pond and some kids approached it, picked it up and walked off with it. He tells me he yelled at them and told them, “you’ll be sorry next time!”
So as he’s loading up his disc bag, he takes a pistol out of his glove compartment and tucks it in his pants....”just in case they’re there again”...
...on a college campus...
Yeah, I don’t play with him anymore...
Skogsrået 23 hours ago
Wow, people like him are allowed to have guns and then you wonder why you have so many shootings in the USA.
Brian Droste 13 hours ago
I hope OP went to the administration let them know he carryng a firearm with him on campus.
Lila Allen 10 hours ago
At this point I think we should just move some things around and create Texida and leave them to do whatever it is they have going on there....just fence it off and put up some caution signs
Load More Replies... #28
Someone once said to my friend " Wait you're Chinese? I always thought you were Asian.".
Lotekguy 16 hours ago
China is usually in the cabinet, except on special occasions. Although this person may have maxed out at plasticized paper plates.
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Ace 1 day ago
Tricky thing, terminology for ethnic groups. Not only inherently likely to be confused with nationality, but incredibly easy to cause offence if you get it 'wrong'. And it varies massively between different places and times. When I was growing up in the UK "Asian" was the generic term for brown-skinned people, who we were told not to call Indian given that many of those immigrating to the UK at that time were from Pakistan or Bangladesh. "Oriental" was the catch-all for East Asians generally characterised (at the time) as yellow skin, slanty eyes. See, offensive, right? So the confusion in this post is completely understandable.
Mreoww 18 hours ago
I do agree with everything in your comment, all but the last line. I don’t think their confusion was justified. It takes looking at a map for 5 sec to figure it out.
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Kira Okah 1 day ago
Gotten similar (though ofc I'm Malaysian), but the response once was essentially them actually believing that Asian was the English word and Malaysian was the "Asian" name, and the ethnicities of the Far East were Chinese/Japanese/Asian.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 1 day ago
My mother still apparently thinks it's okay to call an Asian person an "Oriental". She will do this out loud at top volume - as in (to me) "Go ask that Oriental waiter over there if they can bring out more sauce." I've tried explaining that that word is... generally not really an acceptable term any more and that many feel it is offensive. My now-ex (who I dated for 24 years) is Chinese, and used to tell my mom "We prefer to be called 'Celestials', thank you!" with a grin, trying to make a joke out of it. She didn't get it. (Don't even ask what she calls black people or Hispanics, and she's Mexican herself if you can believe it...) When I was a kid I didn't really realize the variegation in appearances amongst Asian and Southeast Asian races/ethnicities, but now that I'm older, I can (usually) tell, by last name if nothing else XD So it always hurts my soul a little that some people refuse to even TRY to learn the actual, proper, preferred words for someone's race/ethnicity.
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#29
I listed my Ford Explorer for sale. A guy emailed me to trade his 2018 Kia Forte or something. I didn’t really need one since my fleet already had a 2013 Kia Forte but he emailed me a few times saying he wants my explorer but owes money on his Kia. I said how much. He said it’s an 8 year finance deal so need to pay in total $45k. And he wanted my car. I could buy that car right now for $25-30k at the dealership brand new... he was dead serious.
Anne Roberts 13 hours ago
I can't even fathom the interest on those things.
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#30
I had an ex-girlfriend try to claim that we were common-law married so she could sue for alimony and my house, despite:
* Not being together for a year
* Not living in the same home for any length of time
* Not sharing our financial situations with one another in the slightest (no shared bills, no joint account, etc)
The basis for this was that I found it funny when friends joked that we were like an old married couple and I didn't immediately clarify the situation to them, so that meant I'd accepted my role as her "husband".
Took a few court dates and she walked away disappointed, while I walked away with my legal fees and a little extra. I could have gone after her harder, but just what my lawyer got probably wiped out most of her savings and maxed out her line of credit, so I'd have been paying my lawyer to try to wring blood out of a stone.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 1 day ago
Not to mention that not every US state even HAS "common-law marriage" laws/rules XD
Charles McChristy 15 hours ago
Not everyplace is the US. Other countries DO exist.
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Michael Largey 16 hours ago
Some people operate on the hope of finding others even dumber than they are to exploit.
#31
That there were no gay people as well as women didn’t start getting emotional before the television was invented and it started showing “all that stuff”. Also that woman don’t get MAN-O-pause (that’s literally how he pronounced it).
Bob Brooce 1 day ago
But they're right. I remember when I first started hearing about it and gave some thought to being gay. I almost did, but I'd become black just a year earlier and decided I couldn't handle even more discrimination.
LB 1 day ago
I also thought I might want to give it a shot but I remembered I was already a woman so I couldn't.
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Child of the Stars 1 day ago
As a woman currently going through MAN-O-pause, I promise you, it's not only real, but a right pain in the rear 😒
KrazyChiMama 19 hours ago
It’s thinking like this by men and even the medical community that’s damaging to women’s health! Menopause isn’t just stopping your menstrual cycles. Your body is starved for hormones and some serious health concerns can arise from the lack of hormones. Such as hypothyroidism and even cardiovascular disease. Ladies please see an ob/gyn that specializes in menopause or an endocrinologist. I see an endocrinologist now every three months as I now have borderline hypothyroidism. Find out if HRT is right for you and there’s even medication that is non-hormonal available to help with hot flashes and night sweats!
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Hellen 22 hours ago
That's honestly the greatest part about the entire process! The hot flashes get a bit annoying, since I'm always convinced I've become so overheated that I'm about to fall over and die in that moment. But I greatly enjoy that I have zero interest, tolerance or patience for anything to do with man drama from man children. I don't foresee that ever changing, I've become far too a******d to all the peace in my life
Load More Replies... David Morgan 15 hours ago
If women weren't emotional before TV, then what was the 'stuff' that TV was showing to make them emotional? It can't be emotional women, because that's a chicken/egg problem. Even the stupidity isn't internally consistent.
Lila Allen 10 hours ago
A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds
Load More Replies... Sofia 19 hours ago
well honestly gay is just a label... who cares if one likes males or females?
#32
There’s a girl at work who used to call the icing sugar ‘talcum powder.’ We didn’t realise for weeks that she actually thought it was called that. She’s actually a pretty switched on girl in general, she just has these weird things.
Peripheral Visionary 14 hours ago
I knew a guy who called brown sauce "chocolate sauce" because anything brown can only be chocolate.
RomanceRadish 14 hours ago
"Dude this turkey is good but the gravy tastes sweet...?"
Load More Replies... UnclePanda 17 hours ago
I think I'd have put some icing sugar in that bathroom and waited for the inevitable.
The Other Guest 17 hours ago (edited)
The chosen photo is one of the worst depictions of powdered sugar I've ever seen. Gotta be AI.
Julie S 12 hours ago
Don't they call icing sugar "powered sugar" in America? So I don't think this is too unreasonable.
nottheactualphoto 4 hours ago
In the US, "powdered sugar" is also called "confectioners' sugar." It's very finely ground sugar with cornstarch mixed in. That plus water makes a rudimentary form of icing, so I guess it could be called icing sugar.
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#33
A coworker at a restaurant this week told me his hands were hurting from all the extra handwashing and I told him we keep moisturizer in the break room. He asked me why he would need moisturizer if he's been soaking his hands in water so many times in a day.
I explained to a 29 year old man with a house, a car, and a child how soap works.
WindySwede 1 day ago (edited)
🤯 and what did he [think] this was used for in a workplace then..? 😳
RomanceRadish 13 hours ago
I once had a teacher tell our class we don't need soap to get clean, only water. My parent noticed I wasn't very fresh, and was of course irritated at the reason!
Rick Murray 11 hours ago
Not all men. I can tell you how soap *works* (as in hydrophobic and hydrophilic ends of a molecule).
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#34
"Is there a J in the alphabet?"
This was a year 12 student. Her name was Judith.
*Edit*
This was in rural Australia. No other languages other than English. No religion. No accent other than Aussie. No other cultural background.
Moving Enigma 12 hours ago
Apparently it's now been added but thanks as I didn't know it didn't used to be there.
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Michael Largey 16 hours ago
Ahh... Wouldn't a 12 year old know the letters in her own name, particularly the first one?
TiNaBoNiNa 8 hours ago
No, year 12. That's the same as the 12th grade in the US. The girl would have been 17/18 years old.
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#35
For my 14th bday I asked my mom what she got for me. She told me she bought me a vest. I laughed right at her face and went on a rant about how I hate vests (I thought she knew that beforehand). Fast forward to my bday and I received a brand new vest from her. I felt sooooo bad.
DH 1 day ago (edited)
Who asks someone what they are getting beforehand and who answers that question? Weird.
arthbach 20 hours ago
The real question is why did their mother buy a vest in the first place given the person hated vest, and the second question, why did the mother still give it as a gift knowing it would be hated?!
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Lila Allen 10 hours ago
Why didn't she return it??? Since OP said " fast forward to my bday" means mom had time to take it back and get something they wanted instead.
Julie Rogers 4 hours ago
Per OP: "it was bought at a small boutique that didn't give someone an option of returning the item they bought."
Load More Replies... #36
A former coworker said that it was a CIA conspiracy that the same half of the moon always faced the earth.
Austzn 16 hours ago
Albert Einstein invented gravity with math to destroy the flat-earthers truth. /s
Load More Replies... Austzn 16 hours ago
I hear the CIA spy satellite always faces the earth for the same reason. Almost as if their orbits are, synchronized. 🤔
Daya Meyer 1 day ago
So they are able to intrefere with the moon, but they do nothing to prevent catastrophies like tornados or floods? And what is the purpose to fix the moon like this? What did he think the CIA is hiding on the backside?
Moving Enigma 12 hours ago
Well there's a dark crack between the twin moons...
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#37
My friend told me she was an antivaxxer.
Bec 8 hours ago
Well before Covid, one of my husband's cousins insisted that her son was normal until he got his vaccinations but the mercury had made him sick (grumpy, fatigued, personality change- maybe he was just being a toddler?). She would also post pictures of her kids wearing these Pooka shell necklaces to detox them. This woman was a nurse! I was blown away, I thought nurses were smart.
Grumpy old man 13 hours ago
We need 6 BILLION fewer humans. Food production relys on petroleum by products. Drumpf clearly doesnt understand that reserving oil for that purpose prevents Soylent Green and Mad Max. He really is stuck in the 50s
Peter Bear 7 hours ago
I always facepalm extra-hard when I remember that most antivaxxers are themselves vaccinated.
#38
While mountain biking with my friends, being ahead, trying to do some smart a*s thing, slipping and falling down. When my friends meet up.
Me: "stupidly grinning" Guys, I think I broke my arm.
My friends: hahaha. Ya right bro.
Me: "lifting my left arm and showing that it is bending in 3 places now" Umm...
My friends: Umm...
Me: So, who wants to drive me to the hospital.
But honestly, friends were quite helpful in the end. One of them bicycled back to his home and brought his car. I was in the middle of a forest, so remainder of my friends walked me a km and half till where the car could come, loaded me and my mountain bike on it and off I went to the hospital to get my arm fixed. It has become our go to topic now, whenever we meet. We still laugh remembering about it.
Robert Cosgrove 14 hours ago
I imagine OP still talks about it every time they meet but his friends think 'oh god not again'
#39
A previous coworker of mine went on a fiveish minute tirade about how much he hated me. To my face, while at work, in front of ten other people, including our boss. Up until that point I had never met someone who had disliked me so strongly (at least no one who said anything about it.) so I thought he was joking for the first minute or so.
I stood there with this incredulous grin on my face until he paused for breath and one of my other coworkers asked if he was serious. He said "F**k yeah I'm being serious." and started accusing me of being racist, disrespectful, and of favoritism. None of which were true. That quickly wiped the grin off my face and I stood there dumbfounded until my boss came over and told him to stop talking and to walk away.
Everyone stood around kinda shell shocked for a bit before we laughed it off. No one knew where it had come from, and he spent the rest of his time there trying to convince everyone else that I was evil, but they all ignored him. I am extremely grateful for that. He could have made that job a complete hellhole.
#40
I met a girl at a former job, and we took a fancy to eachother quickly. I only ever knew her by her nickname at this point, but we hung out for breakfast and I asked her name. She replied "Bubbles" and I began laughing in her face, thinking its a joke. But no, her parents legitimately named this girl Bubbles, and I just had a deep, hearty laugh at how freakin stupid it was, in her face.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 23 hours ago
I wonder what the nickname was... something like "Bee", which could be short for a name like Beatrice? Or something else entirely?
Jill Skaling 12 hours ago
My daughter's name is Chelsea and my nickname for her is Bee! Not really sure why! *lol
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Sally Moen 23 hours ago
Reddit ought to have a section just for people with names they regret their parents named them
Lotekguy 13 hours ago (edited)
Judy Garland's birth name was Frances Gumm. It would have been worse if your acquaintance had been her sister.
Boo 11 hours ago (edited)
I chuckled way too hard at this 🤣🤣 Thanks for the laugh tonight x
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Laserleader 2 hours ago
I had a classmate of many years named Bo, and one day I joked about what it stood for saying, "wouldn't it be funny if your name was bodacious?" He looked at me and said "It is. My parents were hippies." Apparently they also spelled it incorrectly as well.
BrownEyedGrrl 15 hours ago
My ex married a woman named Skipper. I guess her parents were Barbie fans?
Pandemonium 8 hours ago
Sha la la la la la la la la la di da. Just like that.
Load More Replies... #41
At work it's pretty common for people (especially dads in their 40s-60s) to jokingly ask for a discount, so I'm used to being like "haha, no, sorry. wish I could though! :)"
one day a guy who looked like a middle aged dad asked for a discount, so I laughed and said no. he followed up with "why not?" dead serious. ya boy was trying to negotiate a discount. for like no reason, not even like military or AARP, just wanted me to give him like half off his rate for...asking I guess?
Thee8thsense 1 day ago
They are from the "if you don't ask, it's an automatic no" school of thought.
Michael Largey 16 hours ago
"Sir, I already discount everything you have to say. Won't that do?"
UnclePanda 17 hours ago
I came home from a country where haggling was part of life and then automatically tried it in a Walmart. "Hmmm... Would you take $30?"
Rick Murray 11 hours ago
One that amused me was the UK version of The Apprentice. A guy was trying to find stuff and he kept on asking "what is your BEST price for this?" and refusing to accept the answer that the price is marked on the product...no, no, I'm looking for your BEST price... 🤦🏻♀️
Brian Droste 14 hours ago
I am 66 so I am qualied for discounts but I don't ask anymore. Why, because especially if it is at a fast food joint it is for like a extra small drink at a reduced price or something similar that I don't need.
g6fmzpp8d7 16 hours ago
In the UK if you ask most electrical places are allowed to give up to 10%, the majority still say no but if you don’t ask you don’t get.
#42
Well.... hmm okay. My knees are double jointed. As are my arms, and thumbs. So I went over to sit by one of my friends, and I sat on my leg, in a way that apparently made it look like it was broken. So she asked me if I was okay. I still didn’t get why she was so freaked out, so I just started eating a pack of fruit snacks. Then she asked me if my leg was okay, and I said yeah. She started staring at it and was saying that it was making her nauseous because it looked like my leg was broken. So then I stood up, and showed her my leg’s full range of motion, which at the time I thought it was normal to have your knee appear to be backwards... and she passed out. It uhhh it wasn’t a great time.
Side note: I showed her the thumb thing later and she was not a fan of that either.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 1 day ago
"Double jointed" isn't a real thing... wonder if OP actually has a mild form of connective tissue disorder like Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome.
Christian Homuth 23 hours ago
This is not my first language, but I always thought double-jointed was just a colloquial term for hypermobility
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SchadenFreudian Psychology 14 hours ago
I can bend only the first joints of my fingers, while keeping the rest of the finger straight. I used to be able to fold my thumbs across the back of my hand; but arthritis has put a stop to that.
Julie Rogers 4 hours ago
My siblings and I can all bend that first finger joint on all fingers. Can anyone else in your family do it? Our parents couldn't.
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TheForrestGreene (he/they/it) 9 hours ago
i think that they meant that they could twist their lower leg backwards at about 120 degrees
Load More Replies... #43
"There's a healing crystal in my foof."
I thought she was joking, but no. Asked her if she believed in it, "not really". I think she realised how silly it was. What a woman, though.
Bob Brooce 1 day ago
I know a lot of fairly normal people who have healing crystals. Of course none of them are stupid enough to put one in their foof.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 1 day ago
I'm technically a healing Crystal. My name is Crystal, and most of my injuries heal (well, so far, at least!) I've never tried to put myself into my own foof, though (well, not in my entirety....) XD jokes aside, I'm reminded of Gwyneth Paltrow, the only person I've really heard of who *recommended* putting POROUS MINERALS into our hoohas XD
Load More Replies... David Morgan 15 hours ago
REALLY hope it wasn't like the one in the pic. Looks a bit 'edged' for comfort...
DoomsdayUKgirl 16 hours ago
What is the thing in the photo, please? I found a purple one on the ground once and assumed it was a broken piece of something, but kept it because it was pretty. But now I know it's not broken as it looks exactly the same as this, just in purple. Help?
Carly Naylor 14 hours ago
They're plastic crystals :) I have a bunch from a birthday party when I was younger :)
Load More Replies... #44
My recently divorced supervisor came to me, said "enough of the flirting, ur coming to my house tomorrow".
Thee8thsense 1 day ago
My response would be "no, but I will be seeing you in a meeting with HR soon".
SchadenFreudian Psychology 14 hours ago
It’s a way of saving all the time it takes to type out “you’re”. /s
Load More Replies... #45
Told my teachers I was autistic, they instantly shifted their demeanor and started patronizing me and talking to me like I was some kind of sub-human trash.
My initial thoughts were that it was just a dumb joke in poor taste, but... y'know... :/.
Kira Okah 1 day ago
Only my SEN teacher knew of mine, because she said that is likely how other teachers would react as well. Supposedly quite a number of my teachers were old fashioned and didn't believe in difficulties and disabilities without you being obviously in a wheelchair. It's been floated as an idea of why I had to leave for 16-18 education, because it was found out and excuses were made to exclude me from their 6th form. Note: snobby public grammar school whose staff wished it was private so they ran it like it was private.
Rick Murray 10 hours ago
I think that's why my mother was against me getting tested. It wasn't normally done in the UK in the mid 80s, and my school at the time said that if I wasn't able to go in a normal class I'd be put in the "remove", where the kids that get systematically failed end up. Luckily the various adults that spent time asking me weird questions had a better idea - a special needs boarding school.
SchadenFreudian Psychology 14 hours ago
Do you mean, “I wish they had understood autism…..”?
Load More Replies... #46
When my friend told me she was getting a divorce. I literally laughed and said "Oh, sure you are." Then I saw her face.
#47
And then they said "don't leave your house for two weeks".
Multa Nocte 1 day ago
It sure sucked to be an "essential worker." On the other hand, no traffic for a short while.
Bob Brooce 1 day ago
This was apparently posted near the beginning of the pandemic. Leave it to BP to grab a nearly 6 year old reference to current events and post it without context.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 1 day ago
To be fair, I still knew exactly what they were referring to. It's not like it's been THAT long since we all lived through the pandemic.
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AtMostAFabulist 12 hours ago
Everyone was off work because if the pandemic, but Lowe's was packed because everyone decided it was a good time to get painting and landscaping and home repair done. So Lowe's workers were considered "essential". What a crock of shite.
Sara G. 13 hours ago
The before and during picture's of smog in big cities was crazy!
Load More Replies... Rick Murray 11 hours ago
Had to go to work because factory work can't be done remotely and, well, the company needed to make stuff to make money. I had only just gotten my first car, a special slow car for people who don't have a driving licence. It was pretty useful having empty roads to get used to how the car handles, doing roundabouts, and all that sort of stuff.
nottheactualphoto 4 hours ago
I was doing programming, which most certainly can be done remotely. But the company wouldn't allow it, which was one of the reasons I quit.
Load More Replies... #48
When my childhood friend told me their parents were getting divorced. I was like, "haha, you shouldn't joke about that... Oh wait....".
#49
When a co-worker tried to convince me to vote "Leave" in the brexit vote.
Cee Cee 1 day ago
We're now all paying for the eejits who believed the snake oil salesmen Boris Johnson and the reliably ghastly Nigel Farage.
Skogsrået 22 hours ago
Can't belive people still vote for that hate monger Farage.
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highwaycrossingfrog 20 hours ago
I spent New Year's Eve 2019 (right before the UK formally left the EU) with my parents, their friend, and his cousin. Friend and cousin spent the whole evening talking about how great it was we voted leave (my parents I think remained politely neutral in their comments). When asked for my opinion near the start of the evening, I said I thought it was a huge mistake we would regret for generations, then stayed silent for the rest of the evening. At one point I had to go and stress-cry in the toilet. Worst NYE ever.
Börje Strömming 7 hours ago
This is too far down a list for her. Don’t think her attention span allows more then 15-20 numbers
Load More Replies... Rick Murray 10 hours ago
I felt it was going to go badly. Everybody at work (in France) was like "hey, don't worry, that would be a crazy thing to do". The next day, "we're sorry for your loss". Yeah, me too. It's the elephant in the room that everybody tries to ignore, and there's a very real chance that F*****g Farage will be the next PM.
Grumpy old man 13 hours ago
Yeah, in the 80s, there were "US out of North America" bumper stickers, and of course Texas trucks and "Secede" stickers
#50
It was my first tinder date. We were figuring out what to order and he asked me if I was some ridiculously specific type of vegan, like free range all organic only local veganism. I thought he was making a joke so I laughed a good deep belly laugh for at least a minute but stopped and said oh when I realized he was serious and that was what he actually was. We got a fancy small pizza that he proceeded to rip apart pieces of but didn’t even eat, guess it wasn’t okay for his diet.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 1 day ago
Makes me wonder which of them chose/suggested the restaurant, and if it was OP, why the guy didn't check to see if there was anything he could eat on the menu O_O I'm not going to sit here and criticize him for being an extreme vegan, as his dietary choices don't affect me, but one would think if one has very extreme dietary choices (like organic-only, local-only veganism) you'd vet the places that you KNEW you could get something you could eat.
K Barnes 6 hours ago
Odd. I know lots of vegans and they wouldn't be ok with ordering something they don't eat, like a pizza, then wasting it. They would at least rather have the animal products eaten by a non-vegan over literally wasted, so that the animal's sacrifice isn't for nothing. Not all vegans, though, I guess.
SchadenFreudian Psychology 14 hours ago
Maybe somebody with strict dietary needs should make the first date non-food-related.
Doug Moyer 16 hours ago
Seems like if it was that important to him, it should've had prominent mention in his Tinder profile. (Caveat: I don't know how Tinder works, so maybe it is easy to overlook things...)
#51
I didn't take the the pandemic seriously unti l got laid off because of it.
Jan Rosier 21 hours ago
Laid off because of the pandemic, or laid off because not taking the pandemic seriously?
What do you think ?
Chich the witch 14 hours ago (edited)
Years back, talking with a co-worker who asked if I had been to an easter service and taken communion. I jokingly said no and that I wasn't into ritualistic cannibalism.. Did not have a clue how religious she was until she literally yelled "THAT IS THE FLESH OF THE LORD!!!"
VioletIndigoMoons 11 hours ago
"How come you never hear about women getting aids? Can women even get aids?" Said by a coworker.
michael Chock 10 hours ago
Christians are taught that it is through faith alone that you are saved. That critical thinking and questioning the church is a sin. I almost became a pastor until I tried to understand the "truth" behind all the messages, but was told it wasn't my job to understand, but to simply teach what they say I should. That is why so many of these stories involve Christians.
AuspiciousTree283 4 hours ago (edited)
The first sentence is true in Christianity. The second sentence is not. Jesus frequently questioned religious sects and criticized scribes during his time as they were not practicing what they preached. If there is any church that only preaches what they are told to, then that church is not operating under biblical principles. A true church does not focus on controlling the narrative, but operates under the love of Jesus (and any church preaching hate speech is a hypocritical church, too).
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Sarah 11 hours ago
Working in a gift shop in Ireland day of 11/09/2001.. mid afternoon the news was breaking, I told one man 1 tower was hit and a second apparently has just fallen ( all we had was radio in break room . So we were getting info from whoever was in their 15 mins) he looked shocked until Colleague said … yeah and a plane crashed in to the pentagon. I remember he went yeah sure it did.. and walked into the exhibition. It was a weird day and weirder the next morn with US tourists. V surreal
Rick Murray 10 hours ago
Was over here in France. Didn't have internet or a TV at that point. No idea about 9/11. Went to the supermarket the next day, looked at the papers on sale. What's that on the front? Unfolded it. Unfolded it some more as they'd actually make it extra long to get the entire building in. Oh... What the hell? We went and watched the reporting on one of the demo TVs (along with some other people) and they played the crashes and collapse over and over. My mom simply said "This happened in America, nothing will be the same ever again".
Load More Replies... Chich the witch 14 hours ago (edited)
Years back, talking with a co-worker who asked if I had been to an easter service and taken communion. I jokingly said no and that I wasn't into ritualistic cannibalism.. Did not have a clue how religious she was until she literally yelled "THAT IS THE FLESH OF THE LORD!!!"
VioletIndigoMoons 11 hours ago
"How come you never hear about women getting aids? Can women even get aids?" Said by a coworker.
michael Chock 10 hours ago
Christians are taught that it is through faith alone that you are saved. That critical thinking and questioning the church is a sin. I almost became a pastor until I tried to understand the "truth" behind all the messages, but was told it wasn't my job to understand, but to simply teach what they say I should. That is why so many of these stories involve Christians.
AuspiciousTree283 4 hours ago (edited)
The first sentence is true in Christianity. The second sentence is not. Jesus frequently questioned religious sects and criticized scribes during his time as they were not practicing what they preached. If there is any church that only preaches what they are told to, then that church is not operating under biblical principles. A true church does not focus on controlling the narrative, but operates under the love of Jesus (and any church preaching hate speech is a hypocritical church, too).
Load More Replies... Sarah 11 hours ago
Working in a gift shop in Ireland day of 11/09/2001.. mid afternoon the news was breaking, I told one man 1 tower was hit and a second apparently has just fallen ( all we had was radio in break room . So we were getting info from whoever was in their 15 mins) he looked shocked until Colleague said … yeah and a plane crashed in to the pentagon. I remember he went yeah sure it did.. and walked into the exhibition. It was a weird day and weirder the next morn with US tourists. V surreal
Rick Murray 10 hours ago
Was over here in France. Didn't have internet or a TV at that point. No idea about 9/11. Went to the supermarket the next day, looked at the papers on sale. What's that on the front? Unfolded it. Unfolded it some more as they'd actually make it extra long to get the entire building in. Oh... What the hell? We went and watched the reporting on one of the demo TVs (along with some other people) and they played the crashes and collapse over and over. My mom simply said "This happened in America, nothing will be the same ever again".
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