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Red flags, turn-offs, deal breakers — there are a lot of names for them. But everyone has something they do not tolerate in romantic relationships. One Reddit user wanted to learn what it is for guys, so they specifically asked the fellas to share the behaviors and habits women have exhibited that made them immediately lose all interest. From a lack of respect for other people's boundaries to unresolved issues from the past, it seems that sometimes a second chance isn't even an option.
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#1
I was dating this girl for a month, and she would start talking about the possibility of us getting married, having children, and those children being allergic to dogs... I had a dog, still do 10 years later, and she wanted me to consider getting rid of him for that reason. That was literally the reason I dumped her. Shortly after that I met my wife and we have two children, neither of which is allergic to dogs. The dog is older now but still by our sides.
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#2
Met this girl one night at a party. Friend of a friend. Thought she was single, we start flirting, dancing, until she whispers in my ear "if you want me, you will have to prove me you are better than my boyfriend".
Sure thing. Went to get a drink. Never came back, GTFOH.
#3
I think I got this one!
(Amongst many) one carved my name into her arm with a piece of broken mirror and then told people I did it to her.
#4
She brought a reusable water bottle into a restaurant on our first (and last) date. She insisted she only had it because she liked her own water. I thought it was a bit odd, but tried to go with the flow. 5 minutes later I smelled vodka. It was full of vodka. That is one hell of a drinking problem.
LtKernelPanic 12 hours ago
Surprised the restaurant let her have it in there. Most ban them for that very reason.
#5
Was talking to this cute chick and she invited me over for the night. We're making out and I hear noises and she says it's nothing we're alone. I go to the bathroom and see a small child. No big deal to she has a kid but turns out she had 4 kids and was hiding them in a room as to not scare me off.
#6
"When I was a kid we would always kick the neighborhood cats as hard as we could to see how far they'd go flying".
Can't remember the exact quote but was basically that. She said it with a smile on her face like she still thought it was funny. What tf is wrong with people?
#7
She suggested we walk to an ice cream shop. Who's at the ice cream shop? Her ex-husband. Why? Because that is where they AGREED TO MEET FOR A CUSTODY EXCHANGE.
#8
Didn’t believe in Dinosaurs or evolution.
#9
Tinder hookup, she came over to my place. DONT let them come over on the first date. Everything was good for about ten minutes. We talked, had a couple laughs. Then she goes into my closet and starts pulling all my clothes off the hangers and dropping them on the floor. Asked her what she was doing. She laughed and kept doing it. I physically carried her out of the apartment.
Jane Doe-Doe 13 hours ago
And another one who needs psychiatric help, I’m seeing a pattern here
#10
Told me she thought I spent too much time with my daughter. My daughter was 6-7 years old. My daughter didn’t live with me, she stayed weekends and some holidays.
#11
(Lesbian here, does that count?) I’ve told this story before, but I once got set up on a blind date at a nice restaurant. We met after work & she’s a lawyer so she shows up in this gorgeous, sharp pantsuit with a blue speckled camping mug clipped to her belt on a carabiner.
I’m immediately thrown, but I try to play it cool. Then she unclips the mug, pours her drink into it & proceeds to use it throughout dinner like this is completely normal. My brain goes into overdrive but I don’t want to outright ask because I have friends in AA who bring their own mugs to meetings, so I’m trying to be sensitive. She’s drinking wine at dinner (FROM THE MUG!) but recovery journeys aren’t one size fits all, so I couldn't entirely rule that out.
The entire night I’m racking my brain for literally any plausible scenario where a grown woman needs to walk around armed with a camping mug like a lesbian Batman gadget. Based on the gentle probing questions I asked, none of my theories held up.
The next day, the acquaintance who set us up asks how it went so I mention the mug, looking for context, backstory or *something*. She just sighs, rolls her eyes & says, “Oh *The Cup*. Yeah, she always has that.” No explanation. No elaboration. Just The Cup, capital letters, like it’s a known neighborhood folklore I was supposed to somehow know about beforehand & not ask questions.
It was probably the dumbest reason to pass on a second date, but honestly, we didn’t vibe anyway. Plus I just cannot picture a long term future with someone who casually walks around with a camping mug dangling from their pants. It was just one layer of bizarre too many for me.
Funny side note: This happened probably 15 years ago & last year our mutual friend posted a picture on FB from a wedding rehearsal dinner they all attended & there my former date sat with the same mug right in front of her on the table. Then another picture of them after they left the restaurant & you can clearly see it clipped to her belt. I was elated to finally have photographic proof of this to show my partner & coworkers who always doubted this story or thought I was exaggerating. I still don't have answers as to WHY she carries this mug around but it's still validating to have proof it happened.
TACO Don's Authentic TexMex 12 hours ago
I have a hilarious mental image of "lesbian Batman" now
#12
She got into a fistfight with her sister while her sister was holding her infant son. Like maybe three months old, having to dodge haymakers from his aunt.
#13
Had a girl who was interested in me divulge an incident in high school where she stabbed a girl in a fit of jealous rage over a guy she was interested in.
#14
Told her I was going for a walk/run, exactly how long it would take and that I was leaving my phone in the car to not weigh down my pants. She acknowledged and accepted this. Keep in mind we had been talking for at most a day or two and not met up yet. I get back to my car and she blew my phone *up*. Cursing me out, saying I was cheating on her, etc. I was like dude I barely know you and I told you what I was doing. .
#15
Went out with a girl one night. Got back to her place and the smell of dirty litter box was so strong it made my eyes water. I literally had to leave, it was nauseating. She was really cool and hot too, but take care of your animals.
Upstaged75 8 hours ago
I've dropped friends for not taking care of their pets. That's a deal breaker 100% of the time!
#16
Went to pick up a girl for our first date and she comes walking out of the house holding a 2 year old girl. At first I’m thinking it’s a niece and she wanted to say hi. No it was her daughter and she was planning on bringing her on the date. So not only did she not tell me she had a kid but she also assumed it would be cool to bring her along and I’d pay for everyone’s dinner.
When I told her nah and I didn’t want to go on the date she looked shocked.
StrangeOne 7 hours ago
I do understand why some moms don't want to mention kids at first. It's to try to protect their kids from men who prey on kids by getting with the mother first. If a mom omits kids and the man agrees to continue, then she feels assured he's actually interested in her and not a kiddie creep. The man is still free to decline a date if he doesn't want someone with kids, of course.
#17
The most immediately I ever had feelings pivot was when a number of us were out to dinner and I'd been thinking it over and we'd hung out individually a few times, and she was just a raging jerk to waitstaff who were clearly trying their best on a pretty crazy night. Edit: I don't mean she was just a little pushy or something, she actively insulted the people waiting on us multiple times. It was a lot.
And the kicker was - she waited tables. But about five minutes in, my interest was zero, and about five minutes after that, I wanted things to hurry, too, because she was embarrassing the 5 of us at the table. Just abominable rudeness.
#18
When i asked if she was interested in the new Superman movie her response was "No, i heard its immigrant propaganda".
#19
Told me she believed 100% that she was the reincarnation of Cleopatra and her on-again-off-again boyfriend was the reincarnation of Mark Anthony, and I was just meant to be a temporary distraction...
Ended up chatting for a bit just cause I literally found her delusions very fun and entertaining.
#20
Told me she broke up with someone who cheated on her in her dreams.
Aaaaaand we're done.
#21
Hated dogs. Thought if we didn’t walk in sync that we were incompatible. Thought me saying goodbye and love you to my girl cousin (she’s more like a sister) was incest and turned extremely jelous lol.
#22
Firt date she told me she would never pay for anything and expected to be taken care of everytime we went out... well I can tell you she paid her half of the check about 5 min later and I was out of there lol.
#23
I went to a comedy show with a girl and she heckled. I was so embarrassed and bothered by the behavior. I asked her after the show why she thought it was okay, and she said "My parents run a community theater, and anyone onstage should be able to hold up to scrutiny." I told her that made it even worse, as she should empathize with how difficult it is to get onstage. That was that.
#24
Made a copy of my house key and went in while I was at work to rearrange my furniture and add “female touches” to my already nicely decorated apartment.
#25
I'm grateful and lucky to have a decently sized group of very close friends, two of which are girls. One is a lesbian, with a girlfriend, and the other has been going out with someone for years and is currently engaged to them.
The last person I was seeing didn't have an issue with either of them until we started getting more serious. I was told I spent too much time with them and talk too much to these girls. One of them lived on the other side of the country and I'd see them maybe once every two months. The other lived half the world away. We would speak to each other once every few weeks. Yet my partner wasn't happy. For whatever reason, she didn't trust either of them.
I broke off our relationship pretty much immediately. I wasn't going to shut the door on two friends I've known for over 15 years.
#26
I take her out for breakfast and she was a NIGHTMARE ordering, asking for every substitution and things that aren’t on the menu.
We finally get out of there (she’s not happy with how her food turned out, obviously) and we are walking past an office place with a candy bowl in the desk. SHE RAN INTO THE PLACE AND GRABBED A HANDFUL OF CANDY. I just stood there wide my jaw dropped, and she asked “what?” Like it wasn’t the wildest thing for a 28 year old to do on a breakfast date.
#27
First date (last date) she told me she didn’t drink (I didn’t ask and am fine either way) but said to meet her at a restaurant and we could go out from there.
I show up and she’s drunk. It was 6pm. 🚩.
#28
In college--girl told me a HILARIOUS story, she had been cleaning the toilet with her roommates toothbrush, all because roommate dare have a boyfriend
hilarious indeed....kept my distance.
Daisydaisy 6 hours ago
I have heard a few stories over the years of people doing this, so I have to believe it's true. Bottom line is: unless you live with people who love you and are sane, keep your toothbrush on you at all times!
#29
Girl from the early days of Tinder. Talked on the app for a few days, got her number and was planning a meet-up/hook-up but we both had weird retail schedules. Finally got a day fixed, and she divulged what she was expecting.
She wanted me to go over there and act like I was her babysitter while she dressed and acted like a toddler, leading up to me carrying her to her crib for intimates. Ladies and gentlemen, I was flabbergasted. Just straight ghosted her. Didn't know how to even respond to that. *And she was older than me.* I was in my early twenties, I think she was close to thirty.
Chich the witch 4 hours ago (edited)
"My dream date is for you to play the role of a P e d o" Yeah, F*****k No!
#30
On a date waking with this very pretty young woman, totally enamored, couldn't believe it...
...and then she threw her empty Starbucks cup in a bush. I immediately lost it, scolded her, pulled the cup out of the bush, and carried it to the next trash can!
Can you believe it? I never got a second date lol.
#31
First date, gave her my phone to put on music in the car, noticed she was taking a while, looked over and saw the reflection on the passenger window she was in my text messages.
#32
She put Celine Dion “My Heart Will Go On” on repeat, to try and get me in the mood.
#33
I met an amazingly attractive girl singing karaoke that kinda knew one of my friends. She was smart, funny, and successful, I really cannot emphasize how smoking hott this girl was. Anyway we were walking back to my place and passed a gay bar that's on my block and I asked if she wanted to grab one last drink. I can't remember her exact words but it was something like "I'm not really down with the gays or blacks." She went on a whole rant after seeing the look on my face. I think that was the last time I use a rejection hotline number.
Daisydaisy 6 hours ago
"Gays or blacks" - what a world view! She'd probably throw in Jews and communists too if she had time. Immigrants? Refugees? First Nations people? The homeless?
#34
Showed me how the last 3 exes branded their initials into her wrist like a bracelet. She just needs 2 more.
Beak Hookage 2 hours ago
What a great opening for a psychological thriller. "BRANDED: Three men left their names on her. They were never seen again. Now it's time for number four..."
#35
Dated a girl (for a short period) that would smell the seat of a chair after someone was sitting in it got up. I thought maybe I was seeing something the first time because I didn’t catch the full act. Second time I got the full show. That’s all it took.
#36
She had to choose between another guy and me. I told her I wanted a relationship with her and the other guy just wanted to get in her pants. She decided to dump me and choose the other guy. Well, big surprise he wanted to get in her pants and left for a party when she didn’t go for it.
Came crawling back and I told her no. Not being second best. Never take someone back when they treat you as second best.
Beak Hookage 2 hours ago
Definitely not. You should have more self-respect than to put up with that kind of nonsense.
#37
Had one woman tell me she "didin't believe in safewords" within a few minutes of meeting her.
Yeah, no.
#38
Met this girl, hooked up, apparently she got super comfortable because all of sudden she started talking about why she disliked this race and that race, full noped out of there.
BeesEelsAndPups 5 hours ago
I understand. I'm not a fan of the 400 meter. You don't get that explosion of power you get on the 50, but it's not an endurance race either. Don't even get me started on horse and dog racing. It's cruelty.
#39
Healing crystals. Nope.
#40
Told me she makes out with random dudes even if she's in a relationship because "it doesn't mean anything".
#41
Asked for my star sign before my name.
Beak Hookage 2 hours ago
I'm a Capricorn, which means I don't go in for woowoo nonsense. Next!
#42
We'd gone on a couple of dates, and she came over to my apartment for the first time. My roommate was home, and we were all sitting in the living room getting to know each other. My date either received or made a call on her cell, and proceeded to have a SERIOUS argument with someone. We got the whole works: raised voice, dramatic self-righteousness, swearing, and name-calling. About a minute into this my roommate and I shared a look like "What. The. HECK IS HAPPENING?" After we parted ways that night, ya know, things just never lined up for us to hang out again.
Beak Hookage 2 hours ago
What, you weren't massively turned on by seeing what any future argument with her would be like? What's wrong with you?
#43
I went on a date with someone who I got along well with online, I knew within 5 minutes of ordering our food I would not be talking to them after the night was over. She showed up looking rough, worn out clothes. Then, I noticed a stank and thought it was the restaurant, nope it was her. I know people can be in a tight spot and could see this as just a bad day. Then, almost immediately after we order, she trauma dumps her entire life, her living situation, her creepy uncle and what he did, just non stop. Food came, still going, bill comes, still going. I politely walk her to her car and she says, "Don't expect a kiss, I am not that kind of girl on the first date."... yeah, was not even close to crossing my mind. I got a message on the way home how well the date was and can't wait for the next one.
Jane Doe-Doe 13 hours ago
It doesn’t matter how bad your life has been there’s no excuse for bad hygiene
#44
Sent me a pic of herself in her bedroom. Room was trashed and disgusting. I saw a bowl and spoon sitting on the floor in the back idk how long it had been there. You’re hot and all and I’m a dude but nah honey you nasty.
#45
Started chewing the edges off the plastic beer cups on the table.
#46
I’m a bisexual girl so I don’t know if it counts. I went out with a girl who, after five months, went into a detailed description of her fantasies to leash me and walk me around like a dog. I was fourteen at the time.
#47
Called me up at 7 am to ask for $3 to $5 k. I was working as a bus boy at the time. I just hung up and went back to sleep.
Beak Hookage 2 hours ago
Protip, if you want to be a moocher or a golddigger, don't target someone who works in the service industry.
#48
Told me my fitness hobby was horrible and I should go to church more. A little later on I asked what music she comes home to on a rough work day and she said gospel music…. And in neither of these was she being sarcastic….
#49
One of my family members gave my gf at the time a compliment. She took it completely the wrong way and started hysterically crying. That was the end of that.
#50
When I was in college I was talking to girl for about a month. Cool girl, good personality, very attractive. Things were going very well.
She went out with her friends one night to our local college town. I had something else to do that night so I couldn’t go.
She texted 49 (FORTY NINE) times in a row because I didn’t respond immediately. It started out with “I wish you were here”…”I miss you”….and then it started getting to be like “why aren’t you texting me back” “are cheating on me?”. I just didn’t have my phone for me for about an hour and hadn’t checked my phone in that time span.
And that was the end of that. She’s still hot though.
Beak Hookage 2 hours ago
Being hot doesn't count for anything when you have a miserable personality.
#51
We went to go see the movie "Contact". (Yes, I'm that old)
Opening the movie is just the camera pulling back to reveal the Earth, the solar system, the galaxy, the universe, etc... Its mostly a quiet scene but I thought it was awesome.
Halfway through the scene, she just bursts out laughing. Someone tells her to shut-up. I had a brief moment of panic where I thought "should I be intervening?".
I don't really remember where we ended the night but it fizzled out quickly afterwards.
Oh and I met a girl for dinner at the Pappadeux in Denver. She talks about being a sommelier at a local Michelin starred restaurant, verbally shat all over the wine I'd ordered while waiting for her, than asked if I could blow into the alcohol lock on her PT Cruiser as we were leaving.
#53
Danced with a cute girl at a club. Asked for her number but she said "you can go to my OF's and maybe meet for some fun" I just looked at her disappointed and went "oh nah i'm good".
BeesEelsAndPups 5 hours ago
She's trying to make some money, didn't want a relationship with you.
#54
Telling me how she uses and hustles people. But, of course I wouldn't do that to you. Huge nope.
#55
“We’re both single for the first time in 17 years, it’s like fate wants us to get together”.
I was not single, and neither was she it turns out.
What do you think ?
Beak Hookage 1 hour ago
Malarkey like this is a major reason why I love being aro ace. A life without romance or s*x means a life with SO much less drama. I hate drama. I don't even like listening to other people I don't know arguing.
Beak Hookage 1 hour ago
Malarkey like this is a major reason why I love being aro ace. A life without romance or s*x means a life with SO much less drama. I hate drama. I don't even like listening to other people I don't know arguing.
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