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“I Love Being Skinny”: Woman Shocked After Getting Slapped In The Face By Plus-Size Acquaintance
“I Love Being Skinny”: Woman Shocked After Getting Slapped In The Face By Plus-Size Acquaintance
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“I Love Being Skinny”: Woman Shocked After Getting Slapped In The Face By Plus-Size Acquaintance

Interview With Expert
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Say it with me, ‘It’s never okay to comment on other people’s bodies.’ Whether positive or negative, remarks on someone’s appearance can cause them to feel insecure and less confident about themselves. Since we don’t know what people are going through, it’s better to refrain from offering any observations on others’ looks. 

Unfortunately, this birthday guest didn’t get the memo. Every year during the celebration, she would meet a woman and comment on how skinny she was. Growing tired of receiving remarks on her appearance, the woman came up with a perfect reply, which shockingly earned her a slap on the face.

Scroll down to find the full story and conversation with Rachel Goldberg, LMFT, PMH-C, a licensed therapist specializing in eating disorders in Los Angeles, CA, who kindly agreed to tell us more about how comments on our bodies affect us.

RELATED:

    Whether positive or negative, it’s never okay to comment on someone else’s body

    A woman sitting on the floor with her face in her hands, expressing emotions related to body image and being plus-size.

    Image credits: pe_jo / Freepik (not the actual photo)

    Unfortunately, this woman didn’t get the memo and caused quite the scene during a birthday party

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    Text on image discussing plus-size and skinny body differences.

    Text image expressing commentary on weight from a plus-size woman's friend.

    Quotes addressing body image issues, focusing on being skinny and societal perceptions.

    Text discussion about insecurities related to being skinny and attending yearly parties.

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    Text discussing decision and conversation with mom, related to a topic involving skinny and plus-size perspectives.

    Text excerpt discussing a strategy for addressing comments about being skinny.

    Text discussing the implications of calling someone overweight in a social situation.

    Text about a birthday party where someone comments on another's skinny appearance.

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    Text about someone expressing love for being skinny and getting slapped.

    Text on shocked reaction after a conversation about body image, mentioning silence in the room.

    Woman in a striped shirt standing in a living room, looking thoughtful next to a couch.

    Image credits: kues1 / Freepik (not the actual photo)

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    Text about a woman’s emotional reaction and friends leaving, related to a conversation on body size.

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    Text about leaving a party due to a long commute, related to a skinny and plus-size woman discussion.

    Text conversation discussing insensitivity about being skinny in a plus-size context.

    Text discussing the social acceptability of being skinny and causing offense.

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    Text questioning if the speaker is wrong for commenting on being 'skinny' to a plus-size woman, seeking advice or opinions.

    Image credits: Heavenstobestie

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    57% of young people receive comments about their appearance at least once a week

    Image credits: stockking / freepik (not the actual photo)

    57% of young people receive comments about their appearance at least once a week. 76% of those who do worry about their looks just as frequently, the Verywell Mind survey suggests. This means that remarks related to our looks can disturb our self-image and make us think negatively about ourselves and our bodies. 

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    “Commenting on someone’s body inevitably brings their own body’s appearance to the forefront of their mind, perpetuating a cycle of self-evaluation and comparison to others,” explains licensed therapist specializing in eating disorders, Rachel Goldberg, LMFT, PMH-C.

    “Keeping that focus reinforces societal beauty standards and can contribute to body dissatisfaction or even intensify disordered eating behaviors. Even when comments are intended to be positive or in a self-conscious way, they still shift attention toward external appearance rather than internal qualities.”

    Seemingly innocent comments on people’s appearance can have very harmful consequences because we don’t know the reason behind how a person looks. The individual who lost or gained weight could be grieving, recovering from health issues, experiencing depression, or battling with an eating disorder. Reminding them of their struggles can make them feel even more self-conscious and stressed out.

    Unfortunately, too many people toss comments on other people’s appearance as if it were natural, genuinely meaning them with no awareness of why it might be harmful. “As we grow up, we’re constantly exposed to judgment—whether through media, peers, or even our parents. One of the most visible and easily criticized aspects of a person is their body, making it a common topic of interest,” said Goldberg.

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    “The tendency to judge or bond over criticizing others easily leads to conversations about appearance. Also, for some, commenting on someone else’s body can be a way to cope with their own insecurities, while for others, it may serve as a source of motivation when they admire a particular person’s body.”

    If you can’t find something nice to say, it’s better to say nothing at all

    Image credits: stockking / freepik (not the actual photo)

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    Instead of focusing on people’s physical appearance and making them feel conscious about it, we should move our attention to their character, talents, values, humor, and strength.

    “A great way to compliment someone without focusing on appearance is to acknowledge their dedication to something they’re passionate about, mentioning that you view it as inspiring,” agrees Goldberg.

    “Complimenting their positive outlook and the way their presence brightens your day can also be a kind acknowledgment. Highlighting their creativity—such as their sense of style, how they design their home or their out-of-the-box problem-solving skills—shows you are seeing something about them deeper than their external look.”

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    Dr. Elizabeth Wassenaar, regional medical director at the Eating Recovery Center, also suggests replacing appearance-related words with verbs signifying action. For instance, “You look so happy when you’re doing that,” “I wish I could be there with you, joining you in that activity” or “Gosh, it looks like the sun is warm, and you’re really enjoying it.”

    By making this change, a person is moving from judgment to taking the time to engage with others and the environment they’re in, fostering a connection and a better relationship with them. “It doesn’t have a thing to do with whether their body is acceptable to society or not,” Wassenaar said.

    When in doubt, we should all just try to stick by this rule: if you can’t find something nice to say, it’s better to say nothing at all. 

    Most readers believed that the original poster’s reply was justified

    Reddit comments discussing perceptions and insecurities about being skinny.

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    Reddit conversation discussing confrontation related to body image and feeling insulted.

    Reddit thread discussing body image, privilege, and weight.

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    Reddit comments discussing body image and personal experiences related to being skinny.

    Reddit discussion about appreciating being skinny, addressing social pressures and comments.

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    Reddit comment discussing body shaming of skinny women by plus-size women.

    Reddit text exchange about body image, focusing on insecurity and being 'skinny'.

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    Reddit conversation discussing experiences with being skinny and eating habits.

    Reddit comment saying 'NTA I love your mom,' related to skinny vs plus-size discussion.

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    Reddit comment discussing weight issues and personal boundaries, highlighting differing opinions on body image.

    Reddit comment discussing a reply to being called "skinny," using humor to address body size comments.

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    Screenshot of a comment about pressing charges related to a plus-size woman incident.

    Online comment discussing body image issues and defending viewpoint on being skinny.

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    Comment discussing weight and friendship dynamics.

    Comment saying Amanda is a bully, related to discussion about loving being skinny.

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    Comment discussing consequences for party attendee's actions, mentioning police and legal charges.

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    Reddit comment discussing conflict about body image preferences, emphasizing support for being skinny.

    Reddit comment discussing a debate over body image preferences.

    While some thought it was uncalled for

    Reddit comment discussing a conflict involving a plus-size woman and related legal advice.

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    A text post discussing body comments with emphasis on someone's response about loving being skinny.

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    Comment on body image dispute, highlighting scrutiny of plus-size vs skinny people.

    Text comment on body shaming, discussing the size of other people and the impact of calling it out.

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    Austeja Zokaitė

    Austeja Zokaitė

    Writer, Community member

    Read more »

    Hi, glad you swung by! My name is Austėja, and in the past, I was a writer at Bored Panda. In my time here, I’ve covered some fun topics such as scrungy cats and pareidolia, as well as more serious ones about mental health and relationship hiccups. You can check them out below! I hope you enjoy reading them as much as I enjoyed writing them:)

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    Austeja Zokaitė

    Austeja Zokaitė

    Writer, Community member

    Hi, glad you swung by! My name is Austėja, and in the past, I was a writer at Bored Panda. In my time here, I’ve covered some fun topics such as scrungy cats and pareidolia, as well as more serious ones about mental health and relationship hiccups. You can check them out below! I hope you enjoy reading them as much as I enjoyed writing them:)

    What do you think ?
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    Reginald
    Community Member
    9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Doesn’t matter what OP said, words don’t equal assault.

    Ge Po
    Community Member
    9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And there probably isn't any other way she could have responded that wouldn't have had the same result, except for keep suffering on in silence. Which, in my opinion, wasn't an option either. It sounds like 'Amanda' has issues for which she used OP as punching bag. If that punching bag stops being a complete softy in an attempt to stay upright and therefore starts showing at least some mass (because what she said in return was very decent in my opinion), 'Amanda' gets herself hurt. That's not the punching bag's fault.

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    Sue Denham
    Community Member
    9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Yeah, I guess I am skinny, but it could be worse. Imagine if I was one of those people who are, you know, rude."

    Kate Johnson
    Community Member
    Premium
    9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Don't make personal comments about other people's body's and you won't run into this problem. I would have called the cops and had her arrested. The "friend" is NOT her friend.

    Thanos'Fingers
    Community Member
    9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Lol I'd text the friend and let her know you would be using her text messages as evidence of the assault for your report. Let them scramble and try to make you the bad guy after you've clearly pointed out the literal crime.

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    Reginald
    Community Member
    9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Doesn’t matter what OP said, words don’t equal assault.

    Ge Po
    Community Member
    9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And there probably isn't any other way she could have responded that wouldn't have had the same result, except for keep suffering on in silence. Which, in my opinion, wasn't an option either. It sounds like 'Amanda' has issues for which she used OP as punching bag. If that punching bag stops being a complete softy in an attempt to stay upright and therefore starts showing at least some mass (because what she said in return was very decent in my opinion), 'Amanda' gets herself hurt. That's not the punching bag's fault.

    Load More Replies...
    Sue Denham
    Community Member
    9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Yeah, I guess I am skinny, but it could be worse. Imagine if I was one of those people who are, you know, rude."

    Kate Johnson
    Community Member
    Premium
    9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Don't make personal comments about other people's body's and you won't run into this problem. I would have called the cops and had her arrested. The "friend" is NOT her friend.

    Thanos'Fingers
    Community Member
    9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Lol I'd text the friend and let her know you would be using her text messages as evidence of the assault for your report. Let them scramble and try to make you the bad guy after you've clearly pointed out the literal crime.

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