Woman Wonders If She Should Get Surgery For Her Friend’s Wedding Because The Bride Asked Her To

It’s not uncommon for people to ask their friends for a favor; some would even say that that’s what friends are for. But some individuals, like this redditor’s friend, ask for favors much larger than a helping hand with moving or lending a bike for the weekend.

In the OP’s case, the favor her friend—a bride-to-be—asked of her was to remove a mole on her face. Saying that the mole “would be a distraction” and that she “wouldn’t look good in the photos,” the woman’s friend offered to pay for the surgery, but the OP still wasn’t convinced she should go through with it. Scroll down to find the full story in her own words below.

Many people wouldn’t bat an eyelid if their friends asked for their help or a favor

Close-up of a bridesmaid's face, showcasing her natural features.

Image credits: Frank Flores (not the actual photo)

This woman’s friend had a rather bizarre favor to ask her

Text on image discussing bridesmaid's dilemma about mole removal for a wedding.

Text about bridesmaid discussing wedding preparations and assisting the bride, including a mention of facial surgery request.

Text message excerpt discussing a private conversation about important bridesmaid matters.

Text describing a conversation about bridesmaid surgery request for mole removal before a wedding.

Text screenshot discussing facial surgery request for bridesmaid's appearance in wedding photos.

Text highlights a bridesmaid's contemplation over facial surgery requested by the bride.

Text message discussing the bride's request for facial surgery on a bridesmaid for mole removal.

Text expressing hesitation about undergoing facial procedure.

Text about bridesmaid considering mole removal for a friend's wedding.

Text about bridesmaid discussing insecurities and covering a mole with concealer.

Text about feeling comfortable wearing less makeup and embracing natural look.

Text about insecurity regarding a cosmetic procedure on face suggested by a bride.

Text discussing a bridesmaid's face changes for a wedding ceremony.

Text describing a bridesmaid's mole as brown, about half a penny in size.

Two women engaged in a serious conversation by a lake, highlighting a bridesmaid discussing a controversial request.

Image credits: Getty Images (not the actual photo)

Asking someone a favor might end up benefiting both sides

Image credits: Getty Images (not the actual photo)

While it’s not unheard of for people to ask favors from their friends, some find it difficult to do; they might not want to bother others with their worries or waste their precious time. Though such opportunities for people to help others can have a positive effect on their well-being.

A study on prosocial behavior found that people in need of help consistently underestimated how willing others were to help them and how positive lending a helping hand would make them feel. They also overestimated how inconvenient aiding them would be for the people on the receiving end of a call for help. The study emphasized that performing acts of kindness increases an individual’s well-being, but some people are still reluctant to ask for help and give those around them a chance to show their capacity for kindness.

But while asking for favors and doing them can benefit both sides, it might not work the same way if the request exceeds certain boundaries. Asking a friend to water your plants while you’re on vacation, for instance, is not that uncommon; requesting that the friend pay for said vacation, though, might step over the line of what most would consider a favor. It’s safe to assume that asking a friend to undergo surgery as a favor would also be considered too much by many.

But asking someone to change their looks might negatively affect the way they see themselves

Image credits: Getty Images (not the actual photo)

In addition to being seemingly too big of a favor to ask, Zoe—the bride-to-be—requesting that her friend remove a mole on her face also doesn’t send a good message. Instead of loving her the way she is, she told her friend that she would look better (in the pictures) without it. Needless to say, comments like this don’t make one feel better about their looks. And while some people manage to not take them to heart, for others, negative remarks from friends can even lead to body dissatisfaction.

In her post, the OP admitted that she has felt insecure about her mole in the past. And she’s far from the only one—according to an Ipsos survey from 2018, many people feel unhappy with their looks, even if only from time to time. The survey found that as much as 79% of Americans didn’t like how their body looked at times, though 21% were always satisfied with their bodies. For nearly a third of respondents, body dissatisfaction was more prevalent when they were doing something in particular, with looking in the mirror, wearing a bathing suit, or shopping for clothes being the three worst activities regarding one’s feelings about their body.

But preferred body types are a subjective matter, as are certain facial features. Some of them—freckles, for instance—are something people might feel insecure about, but for many, they add charm and personality to one’s looks. Nowadays, more people seem to appreciate such features—some even pay to get freckles done—which can hopefully encourage others to embrace their unique features instead of trying to get rid of them. In an update, the OP shared that she decided to keep hers.

After some time, the woman shared an update, letting fellow netizens know what she decided to do with the mole on her face

Text about bridesmaid deciding against facial surgery suggested by bride.

Text excerpt discussing bridesmaid's dilemma regarding a procedure for a wedding.

Text message expressing uncertainty about decision and reaction.

Bridesmaid's text message about bride's unusual surgery request for wedding prep.

Text conversation discussing a potential face surgery amidst bridesmaid request situation.

Image source: RudeLab9732

People shared their two cents in the comments, and they didn’t think the bridesmaid was being a jerk to her friend

A text exchange discussing a controversial request for a bridesmaid to consider surgery for the wedding.

Reddit comment on bridesmaid facial surgery, emphasizing entitlement and the irrelevance of cosmetic changes for weddings.

Text critique about a bridesmaid's surgery pressures from a bride, highlighting ego and withdrawal from the wedding.

Reddit comment suggesting moles be removed by a photographer instead of surgery for bridesmaid.

Reddit comment criticizing a bride's request for bridesmaid surgery, calling it entitled and rude.

Comment discussing bridesmaid's choice on face surgery request by bride.

Comment criticizing a bride's demand for bridesmaid's facial surgery, prioritizing looks over humanity.

Text comments discussing bridesmaid facing pressure for facial surgery request.

Reddit comment criticizing a bride's request, stating bridesmaids aren't accessories for aesthetic changes.

Reddit comment saying, "Zoe is not your friend," related to bridesmaid face surgery request.

Text argument discussing bridesmaid potentially needing face surgery to be in a wedding.

Comment suggesting a comparison between shaving and surgery for bridesmaid's appearance change proposal.

Comment discussing surgery request for bridesmaid's face, calling it unreasonable.

Reddit comment discussing bridesmaid facing surgery pressure from bride, encouraging self-acceptance.

Reddit comment discussing bridesmaid surgery request from bride.

Text screenshot about bridesmaid face surgery request, discussing its necessity and personal choice.

Reddit comment critiquing requests for cosmetic surgery for weddings, emphasizing boundaries and friendship.

Comment on mole removal suggestion related to bridesmaid surgery issue.

Reddit comment criticizing a bride's request for bridesmaid's facial surgery.

Text criticizing outrageous requests brides make to bridesmaids, mentioning surgery.

Comment discussing a bridesmaid and her dispute with a bride over a request.

Comment on bridesmaid surgery request for mole removal, advising to get payment upfront.

Comment suggesting face surgery due to potential cancer risk, highlighting personal choice.

Reddit comment disagrees with bride’s demand for bridesmaid's facial surgery before wedding.

Online comment discussing bridesmaid facial surgery request from bride.

Reddit comment criticizing a bride for asking a bridesmaid to consider facial surgery.

Comment discussing face surgery for smooth skin.

Reddit comment discussing a bride's request for a bridesmaid's facial surgery, mentioning insecurity and offense.

Text advice on potential surgery for bridesmaid's mole due to bride's request, emphasizing medical consultation and decision.

Text comment discussing the idea of a bridesmaid undergoing surgery for appearance, highlighting personal perspective on beauty.

Comment discussing appearance related to bridesmaid's face surgery request.

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