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Parents Make Sure Wife’s Husband Knows They Hate Him, Are Shocked He Won’t Help Them
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Parents Make Sure Wife’s Husband Knows They Hate Him, Are Shocked He Won’t Help Them

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When you agree to be with your partner for the rest of your life, you’re not only agreeing to stand by their side in sickness and in health, for richer and for poorer. You’re also signing on to welcome their relatives into your own family, whether you actually like them or not.

But that didn’t stop one man from immediately putting his foot down when his fiancée asked if they could take in her parents and help with their medical bills. Below, you’ll find the full story that the man shared on Reddit, as well as some of the replies invested readers left him.

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    After his fiancée’s father was diagnosed with cancer, this man’s in-laws reached out asking for help

    Image credits: Getty Images / unsplash (not the actual photo)

    But he immediately refused to take them in or help cover their medical bills

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    Image credits: Curated Lifestyle / unsplash (not the actual photo)

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    Image credits: Baptista Ime James / unsplash (not the actual photo)

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    Later, the author clarified some details about the situation

    Image credits: Otherwise_Leg286

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    Many people struggle to become close with their in-laws

    Planning a wedding can be an incredibly stressful endeavor. The event can easily be the most expensive day of your life, so it’s understandable for the bride and groom to want everything to be perfect. But it also often becomes complicated thanks to other issues in the couple’s personal lives or family drama that suddenly appears. 

    We all know it’s cliché to have conflicts with in-laws, but it’s usually assumed that these problems pop up after the couple is already married. In reality, however, they can begin long before the couple even ties the knot. The author of this story noted that his in-laws have never been welcoming towards him, and they’ve made it very clear that they would prefer their daughter stay with her ex. 

    According to psychologist and author Terri Apter, a whopping 75% of couples admit that they’ve had in-law issues in their family. And when it comes to men not feeling accepted by their in-laws, Fatherly notes that this is very common. 

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    But where does it come from? Licensed Clinical Social Worker Nancy Tramontana says that part of the reason why parents are hesitant to accept their child’s partner sometimes stems from outdated stereotypes. For example, if the man isn’t the breadwinner or taking on a traditional, masculine role, the parents might be less willing to embrace him.

    It’s also possible that their personality just doesn’t mesh easily with the family, and it might take time for them to adjust to the family dynamic.

    Image credits: Jordan González / unsplash (not the actual photo)

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    It’s important to be patient and understand that it might take time to grow the relationship

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    “Every family is kind of like its own country, with its own set of rules,” Tramontana told Fatherly. “And you don’t know what it’s like to live in that country at the outset. You have to survey the land.”

    Now, there’s no guaranteed way to make your in-laws like you. As people say, “You can be the sweetest, juiciest peach in the world, but some people just don’t like peaches.” But if you’re interested in trying to get on your in-laws’ good side, Families for Life has some tips.

    First, they recommend being realistic and understanding that it might take them time to warm up to you. Don’t take it personally if they don’t love you upon your first meeting. It’s also a good idea to make sure you show interest in them. Ask them about their hobbies, strike up conversations that they’ll be interested in, and perhaps even find time to hang out with them without your partner around.

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    It’s important to also listen to what they have to say. You’re not obligated to agree with everything or take unsolicited advice they may give you, but be respectful and make them feel seen and heard. And if they’re interested in learning something new, offer to help them! This can be a great way to grow closer, especially if it makes them start to appreciate having you around.    

    We would love to hear your thoughts on this situation in the comments below, pandas. Do you think this man was right for refusing to take in his in-laws, or should he have been more willing to help them out? Feel free to weigh in. Then, if you’d like to read another Bored Panda article discussing in-law drama, look no further than right here!  

    Image credits: Getty Images / unsplash (not the actual photo)

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    Many readers agreed with the man’s choice, and he joined in on the conversation

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    However, some thought that it was unfair for him to refuse to help

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    Later, the author came back with an update detailing where he and his fiancée stand now

    Image credits: Chris Lynch / unsplash (not the actual photo)

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    Image credits: Daniel Thomas / unsplash (not the actual photo)

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    Image credits: Otherwise_Leg286

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    Poll Question

    Do you think the man should have considered his fiancée's feelings more before making his decision?

    Yes, he should have prioritized her feelings

    No, his decision was justified

    It depends on the circumstances

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    Adelaide Ross

    Adelaide Ross

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Read more »

    Howdy, I'm Adelaide! I'm originally from Texas, but after graduating from university with an acting degree, I relocated to sunny Los Angeles for a while. I then got a serious bite from the travel bug and found myself moving to Sweden and England before settling in Lithuania about three years ago. I'm passionate about animal welfare, sustainability and eating delicious food. But as you can see, I cover a wide range of topics including drama, internet trends and hilarious memes. I can easily be won over with a Seinfeld reference, vegan pastry or glass of fresh cold brew. And during my free time, I can usually be seen strolling through a park, playing tennis or baking something tasty.

    Read less »
    Adelaide Ross

    Adelaide Ross

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Howdy, I'm Adelaide! I'm originally from Texas, but after graduating from university with an acting degree, I relocated to sunny Los Angeles for a while. I then got a serious bite from the travel bug and found myself moving to Sweden and England before settling in Lithuania about three years ago. I'm passionate about animal welfare, sustainability and eating delicious food. But as you can see, I cover a wide range of topics including drama, internet trends and hilarious memes. I can easily be won over with a Seinfeld reference, vegan pastry or glass of fresh cold brew. And during my free time, I can usually be seen strolling through a park, playing tennis or baking something tasty.

    Gabija Saveiskyte

    Gabija Saveiskyte

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    Read more »

    Hi there! I am a Visual Editor at Bored Panda. My job is to ensure that all the articles are aesthetically pleasing. I get to work with a variety of topics ranging from all the relationship drama to lots and lots of memes and, my personal favorites, funny cute cats. When I am not perfecting the images, you can find me reading with a cup of matcha latte and a cat in my lap, taking photos (of my cat), getting lost in the forest, or simply cuddling with my cat... Did I mention that I love cats?

    Read less »

    Gabija Saveiskyte

    Gabija Saveiskyte

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    Hi there! I am a Visual Editor at Bored Panda. My job is to ensure that all the articles are aesthetically pleasing. I get to work with a variety of topics ranging from all the relationship drama to lots and lots of memes and, my personal favorites, funny cute cats. When I am not perfecting the images, you can find me reading with a cup of matcha latte and a cat in my lap, taking photos (of my cat), getting lost in the forest, or simply cuddling with my cat... Did I mention that I love cats?

    What do you think ?
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    Alexandra
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well, that's in some ways fr more than then in-laws deserve. Also: good on the fiancee that's she's able to acknowledge what her fiance told her. This should be a stable couple.

    BeesEelsAndPups
    Community Member
    2 months ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    I don't think so. There's a lot of me, mine statements, and I have this and she has that comments. I think it's totally fine to keep your finances separate (in fact I recommend it), it's another thing to state that 70% of our living space is mine. NO, 100% of your living space is shared. If you don't want her parents there because of how they treat you, that's fine, and you can have that conversation with your partner and the rest. But talking about what is yours and hers is a recipe for future resentments.

    Bernd Herbert
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why would oyu help someone out who treats you like s**t? And OP wasn't good enough for a Son-in.law, but his money is welcomed? F**k that. OP is definitely NTA and the Update clearly showed that

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    Alexandra
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well, that's in some ways fr more than then in-laws deserve. Also: good on the fiancee that's she's able to acknowledge what her fiance told her. This should be a stable couple.

    BeesEelsAndPups
    Community Member
    2 months ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    I don't think so. There's a lot of me, mine statements, and I have this and she has that comments. I think it's totally fine to keep your finances separate (in fact I recommend it), it's another thing to state that 70% of our living space is mine. NO, 100% of your living space is shared. If you don't want her parents there because of how they treat you, that's fine, and you can have that conversation with your partner and the rest. But talking about what is yours and hers is a recipe for future resentments.

    Bernd Herbert
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why would oyu help someone out who treats you like s**t? And OP wasn't good enough for a Son-in.law, but his money is welcomed? F**k that. OP is definitely NTA and the Update clearly showed that

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