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These 45 Awkward Dating Stories Prove Parents Shouldn’t Be Involved In Your Love Life
Interview With Expert
The stereotypes of "daddy's princess" and "mama's boy" are pretty hated in pop culture. One is usually called entitled for getting a lavish summer trip to Europe or an expensive college tuition just by asking nicely, and the other is considered spoiled for not having to clean or do his own laundry even after moving out of his parents' house. So, Reddit user Jesk_680 wanted to find out if they're really that bad and asked everyone who had dated these characters to share why they ultimately decided to end the relationship. Continue scrolling to check out the stories and don't miss the conversation we had with clinical psychologist Dr. Sabrina Romanoff — you'll find it in between the entries.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
My ex and I didn’t live together before marriage. His parents were really religious and wouldn’t approve of it and I was young (23) and extremely dumb. I figured we’d been together like 8 years and it would be fine. I realized quickly that he expected me to do *everything*, the shopping, the cooking, the dishes, the laundry, clean, etc. He once asked me while we were eating dinner (again, one I had shopped for and cooked) if I could get up and get him a glass of water. I had NO idea his mom was doing literally everything for him at home and that’s what he was expecting of me as well. When I tried pointing out that his mom was a stay at home mom with no job, and therefore more available to help with things like shopping and laundry, whereas I had a full time job making three times the money he was and that I basically paid all our bills myself, he started screaming at me that I was questioning his manhood and he wouldn’t stand for it. I was not having it.
Then he started shoving me around and tried to k**l my kitten, so there’s that. I’m now happily married to my husband of ten years that does everything for himself, cooks, cleans, does our laundry, dishes etc and is best friends with the now 14 year old cat.
Alexia 7 months ago
Some girls may not spot a mommy's boy at first, but if you try to hurt my kitten/ dog/ parrot/ whatever pet animal, I'll cut off you balls and stick them in your mouth. A*****e 😠
Jaya 7 months ago
Getting married before having lived together, is a bad idea. Living together is super different than having a relationship and living apart, you have no idea how your relationship is gonna change when you move in. So if you're getting married without having lived together, you're making an uninformed decision, which is not a good idea for a major life changing decision.
ucp 7 months ago
Even the vicar who married us wanted comfort from knowing that we had lived together before the wedding. Religious =/= old fashioned (necessarily).
Load More Replies... winterwidow87 7 months ago
He got mad because you questioned his manhood? What manhood? A man who shoves you and tries to literally mûrder a kitten is no man, he's scüm.
Royal Stray 7 months ago (edited)
If you've been together since 15, you're probably not going to last. In my personal opinion you shouldn't stay in your first relationship, especially not if you entered it that young. You're likely to be a very different person when you're 15 and 23, not to mention just 15 and 19. Those puberty hormones really change you more than you realize at the time. You also shouldn't get married before you've lived together as you'll have absolutely no idea how the other person acts in a household.
XenoMurph 7 months ago
But we wouldn't refuse one if you're happy to pay for one? My lottery plan is less successful than hoped.
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EnchantedEevee 7 months ago
The man has two feet and a heartbeat, he can get his own d**n water!
Vishrut Rao 7 months ago
Imagine being such a weak little baby weiner that you can't get your water and lose your s**t about your non existent masculinity
Kenneth Smith 7 months ago
"You've got two hands" was a common refrain from my mom. We never were allowed to ask someone to do something we were capable of doing ourselves. I still feel weird about saying, "Hey, while you're already in there..."
While these labels are often used in a derogatory way, it's important to remember that very few things in life are either black or white.
"What used to be a schoolyard insult is viewed fresh in the current dating world," Dr. Sabrina Romanoff, a clinical psychologist and professor at Yeshiva University in New York City, told Bored Panda. "'Mama’s boys' used to be an emasculating term signifying weakness in the days of toxic masculinity. Now, it represents a man who has the capacity to love and have healthy relationships with women.
"Additionally, 'daddy's girls' tend to have the capacity to form healthy relationships with men, know they deserve love, and tend to use that strong relationship with their fathers to affirm their own self-worth, which trickles into how they approach the dating world with confidence and poise," explained Dr. Romanoff, who also shares interesting and useful everyday psychology tips on her Instagram account.
While it can be fun to read about people's breakups, we need to be careful about dissing and categorizing people.
RELATED:
#2
Got invited out to lunch with just his mom, I thought to get to know me one on one. NOooo, she started by saying anything she says can be shared with her son, she doesn't want secrets. Then the b******t starts, do I know his friends don't like me? Do we wear condoms? I told ex about it after, he brings it up to her, she says she never said any of it and I'm a liar. He believed her. Thank God she showed me what I was getting into before it was too late.
Fellfromthemoon 7 months ago
No, it looks like mommy dear won. But the loser is not OP.
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#3
**I literally married outside of my culture instead of dealing with a Mama Boy.** 😂 I am from a patriarchal culture where semi-arranged marriages are still common, and ALL Men are babied by their mothers.
I had a guy's family come ask my parents to marry me and I literally left home within a month to get out of it, and was disowned by my family. 😅 They didn't talk to me for almost 3 years. I met my now Husband during that time.
They eventually got over me leaving and now adore my husband. But right from the start I knew I didn't want to marry a Mama's boy from my culture or ANY culture.
Been with my husband 14 years, married for 10 now. ❤️ Super happy with my Husband that knows how to be an adult all in his own.
Pencil 7 months ago
That takes incredible courage and a profound sense of self-worth. Bravo to OP.
Tabitha 7 months ago
Considering some cultures are just fine with the family committing what’s known as an “honor killing”, basically murdering their own child/sister/cousin just because she doesn’t want to be controlled by their archaic and misogynistic traditions, OP is extremely lucky it all worked out fine for her. Just because something is a tradition does not make it right. Remember, slavery used to be a “tradition” in the southern portion of the US, even though it’s wrong and goes completely against everything we’re taught about being good people (forget about that “good christian” b******t, because it’s always been hypocritical and those who call themselves “good christians” always talk that kind of s**t then turn around and do the diametric opposite of what their storybook says). That “tradition” was dropped and made illegal here 150 years ago, though it is shocking to find out other forms of slavery are still alive and thriving all over the world in the 21st Century.
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BeesEelsAndPups 7 months ago
I had a friend from India who was disowned by her parents for a similar reason. She never even got to the point of telling them she was gay. Anyways, she's happy now.
Lila Allen 7 months ago
Oh that is lovely... I hope she's met a nice woman to build a family with.
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Magenta Blu 7 months ago
This is a strange world.. I left my country and culture precisely to find a TRADITIONAL man to marry, because I got sick of the compromise avoidance of modern occidental cultures. I wanted a tradicional family, where I could enjoy AND STAY IN the house we share instead of only going home to sleep and then waste my entire life inside a tiny office, sitting whole day long for a paycheck... Only to get asked to pay 50/50 and then PAY for another person to RISE MY children and have fun with them while I'm providing nothing but money??? No thanks. I was looking forward to marry into a patriarchal culture... I wanted a traditional female role. It's all I dreamed since childhood, even if my own family was drilling my brain with exaggerated feminism nonsense. Of course feminism is right and fair, but it's coming too far, to the point of misandry now
Robyn Doyle 7 months ago
But feminism is about supporting your right to choose that for yourself, not be forced in to it by anyone else.
Load More Replies...Also, when we're choosing a partner, it's a combination of their features that we pay attention to. "When it comes to compatibility in dating, we usually start our assessment on the surface and then explore with greater depth," Dr. Romanoff said.
To avoid getting blindsided by one feature and remain aware of the bigger picture, the psychologist said to "start with physical/intellectual/emotional attraction (usually the first indicator of a right-swipe on dating apps via desirability of their physical body or responses/prompts which represent their emotional/intellectual resources).
"Next, assess shared interests, humor, and communication style: Do you enjoy the same activities? Laugh at the same things? Find the same topics fascinating? These will largely determine the quality of the time you’ll spend together," Dr. Romanoff added.
On a deeper level, Dr. Romanoff emphasized the alignment of your values, long-term goals, ability to navigate differences and reach compromises, and whether you're ok with making space for each other’s needs and can establish trust.
#4
For a while back in high school, I was dating this guy and his mom kept telling him I wasn't pretty enough for him and he deserved a girl who was really pretty, like a cheerleader or something. He was a pretty average-looking 90s boy with bleached blonde hair, I was an alt girlie, we weren't totally mismatched but maybe a little I guess.
Anyway, If I called the house to chat with him, she'd either not answer the phone or lie and say he wasn't around. He called back a few times and apologized for his mom being a b***h. Once I heard her say, "Why haven't you dumped her and found your princess yet?"
After a while, it just got annoying, the relationship eventually fizzled out, and he ended up dating someone else.
She actually called me one time and asked "How the hell did you deal with his mom?".
Crystalwitch60 7 months ago
Lmao there’s her answer your THE EX as dumped him why is she asking stupid questions lol ,
Michael Largey 7 months ago
To confirm her suspicions about the right course of action?
Load More Replies... #5
When we got home from the first time I met his parents (we lived a long way apart and were engaged by that point) and he got a very long very dramatic call from his mother about how she disapproves of me and they wouldn’t be at the wedding. And he didn’t fight her, he called it off.
Dude was 40ish at the time. I knew he was close to them but I had no idea he was such a mama’s boy,
Bullet dodged.
Koalalover 7 months ago
Oh god thus reminds me of one of my own eyes. Both lived alone, he was about 13 years older than me. His mother had a MASSIVE issue with it and kept saying I was "too young" (I was early 30s at the time). Beech, I'm not the one who has to ask my mother for permission for literally everything! Bullet dodged!
Michael Largey 7 months ago
In a way, the mom is right. This guy shouldn't marry anyone. (Unsurprisingly, the fact that she's the reason will not occur to her)
Lila Allen 7 months ago
Oh completely... and sometime after mommy passes he will realize that he is utterly alone because he never grew up and found his spine.
Load More Replies... But when things don't work out, participating in a thread like this might help. Kind of.
There was a small study published in the Journal of Experimental Psychology: General, where researchers gathered 24 heartbroken people, ages 20-37, who had been in a long-term relationship for an average of 2.5 years. Some had been dumped, while others had ended their relationship, but all were upset about it—and most still loved their exes. In a series of prompts, they were coached using three cognitive strategies intended to help them move on, and one of them was to negatively reappraise their ex. The person was asked to mull over the unfavorable aspects of their former partner, like a particularly annoying habit.
Next, the researchers showed everyone a photo of their ex and measured the intensity of emotion in response to the image using electrodes placed on the posterior of the scalp.
According to the readings, the practice significantly decreased people's emotional response to the picture (relative to their responses in the control trials, which didn’t use the prompt).
After viewing their lover in a negative light, the participants in the study also experienced a decrease in feelings of love toward their ex. But, they reported being in a worse mood than when they started, suggesting that these negative thoughts, although helpful for moving on, may be distressing in the short term.
#6
Slightly different take where I realized I WAS the problem.
I grew up with a family that was incredibly close. Me and my mom were like Rory and Lorelei Gilmore. I told her everything. And it was expected that I didn’t ever keep things to myself. I told her about my partner, the things that frustrated me, our disagreements, or highs and lows, a bit about our intimate life. And I didn’t realize how far I often took it, because it just… was expected.
It has taken a LOT of unlearning and un-enmeshing myself from this dynamic. Realizing that it wasn’t fair to my partner to have our relationship be so open with my mom. He was in a relationship with ME, not HER. Thankfully my partner has been super patient, and I have been in regular therapy/counseling (not just about this, but for other family-related healing), which has really helped me to grow and heal.
BeesEelsAndPups 7 months ago
I give my mother a minimum of information. She is great a weaponizing that stuff against me. "How is your relationship going?" It's good. "What does your girlfriend do for work?" I don't really understand it. I could never imagine sharing details of my intimate life with anyone
Load More Replies... Pencil 7 months ago
Good for OP. It's always impressive when someone not only recognizes their issues but is actually willing to do the work to change them. Especially when that means changing fundamental family dynamics. I hope it all works out.
Binky Melnik 7 months ago
And the fact that she recognized her issues _during the relationship_ and not years after it had imploded! We so seldom see this sort of self-awareness (likely because it’s painful to discover that *we* are the problem!). I’m impressed!
Load More Replies... Awkward lady 7 months ago
I can relate to this, my mother meant well, but she was very controlling.
Nikole 7 months ago
Same. Mine is getting better because we now point it out to her.
Load More Replies... sweet emotion 7 months ago
Now this is one where I would like to know how the mom is coping with an information diet.
karen snyder 7 months ago
OPs self awareness and growth is admirable. I lost a very good friend when she told me her partner and her were having serious problems and that he was a*****e for leaving the house during a heated argument because she called her mom and put her on speaker phone to "mediate." When I told her SHE was the problem, and that calling her mom to take her side in a personal matter was horrible, she told me I was supporting her a****r. (The man in this relationship was extremely tolerant and she never accused him of any ACTUAL abuse, just the walking away from an argument.) Wherever you are Angela, I hope you learned a lesson when he finally had enough. He was a really great guy.
Nils Skirnir 7 months ago
My ex was like this with her mother and older sister. No secrets, even down to bowel movements and how much s*x per week.
Lila Allen 7 months ago
Oh that is very off putting... glad they are an ex.
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#7
I had a heart attack the Friday before Mother's Day. He still left me in the hospital, alone, and drove three hours to go have dinner with his mother...even though there was already a mother's day dinner planned for that Sunday. His mom always had to make sure I knew that she was #1 and his presence there was more important than being with me in the hospital and making any decisions if I was incapacitated.
You know it's bad when the nurses are handing you slips of paper with divorce attorneys contact Information before you discharge. Yes, I left him.
The kicker is, once she got the grandchildren she wanted from ex's brother she no longer pays any attention to Ex.
BeesEelsAndPups 7 months ago
Dude, if my kids left their sick spouse in a hospital to come see me on father's day, I'd drive their asses back.
SheamusFanFrom1987 7 months ago
I'm sorry for OP having to be divorce while fighting for her life but if the s*****g ex decides to come groveling back now that he's been chucked to the sidelines by "mummy dearest", she ought to tell him HELL NO and that she is as serious as a, well you know what... -_-
Disgruntled Pelican 7 months ago
God forbid a medical professional look out for someone who was quite literally abandoned by their spouse after having a literal heart attack.
Load More Replies... #8
His mom had a key to our apartment, and she would just use the key to enter the apartment without even knocking during any time of the day. She’d also jump into his bed if he’s in the bed, and cuddle with him. We were 26 😳.
KatSaidWhat 7 months ago
WTAF. Nope. But I might make a point of walking around naked ALL THE TIME. Actually I would give her an ultimatum, she gives back her key and then we change locks, or he continues his mummy affair without me.
Huddo's sister 7 months ago
I worked with a woman who was homeless, along with her partner and their child. Eventually, his mum let them move into her house and she moved into a caravan park cabin. She would go into the house anytime of day and then berate my coworker for not cleaning enough. She was working, looking after her son and cleaning, and ended up getting up at 4am each day to clean, just in case she came in. She caused a lot of problems and even though her son objected, she didn't stop the behaviour. They ended up leaving after three months and I lost touch with her.
Lila Allen 7 months ago
Oh that poor woman. Now I want an update on her. That sounds like an awful situation.
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#9
He was arrested for a*****t and she asked me *what I did to provoke him*. Yeah, f**k you, you raised a violent thug who beat up his sister before they were out of their teens and twenty years later he hadn't learned a thing. His sister now lives 6000 miles from her parents and only sibling.
Leesquee 7 months ago
My entire adult life, my mother has tried to make me responsible for my younger brother. He's violent and, the 4 times I let him live with my family all ended with him assaulting me. My mother asked me what I did, every time. It worked until it occurred to me she was too afraid to let him live with HER.
#10
I dated a mama's boy. I was up for a promotion at my job and he some how made it about himself and finally said, "My mom wouldn't like you. You're too independent."
I had to ask him to clarify because this was over a JOB PROMOTION I worked my butt off for.
And he said, "She would want you to not care about a job promotion and want you to be more domestic for me."
I said cool, and left.
Nils Skirnir 7 months ago
My stepbrother was like this. His first wife was killed by a drunk driver. Always wondered if his mother (my evil stepmother) hired him.
Lila Allen 7 months ago
Yeah I'm side eyeing the " more domestic" ... what now? Is OP a house pet?
Load More Replies... #11
When he didn't tell me his mother was driving 2+ hours to rip me a new one about how I wasn't good enough for her son. That's when I knew for absolute certain that he loved her more than me--and that's not what a marriage is about, y'know? (Don't worry, we called it off and I only lost the deposit on the venue.).
Janelle Collard 7 months ago
*Any* amount of money is a good price to get out of that "Mommy + Me" relationship.
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Beth Wheeler 7 months ago
Sounds like a very small price to pay to find out before the wedding than after.
#12
He used to send pictures of me to his mom for her to judge how i was dressed, he wanted her opinion on every f*****g thing. Of course that kind of behaviour doesn't come alone, there were plenty, so i ran tf away.
Nina 7 months ago
Some of these are so bad... Don't you want your child to be a fully functioning adult?
Learner Panda 7 months ago
I am always curious how the boy/girl child continues to manage after the death of the parent?
#13
When I cooked he would say "that's not how my mom does it".
BeesEelsAndPups 7 months ago
If my girlfriend hears me say "that's not how my mom does it" she would know I was complimenting her cooking. My mother is a terrible cook. How would you like your steak? How about not charred until it's as hard as boot leather.
Enuya 7 months ago
I'd say it depends from the context. My partner said this fair number of times, but it was always more like "I didn't know you can cook this dish this way" or "I learned to do this differently, so I'm confused" than insulting me. I actually learned a lot from his mum, as she is a decent cook and I only began learning shortly before we started dating.
Rikki Kay 7 months ago
My ex used that line. So I came home from work, made a can of soup and a sandwich, sat down to eat. He asked where his meal was. I told him, at his mother's. He never said that again!!
Celtic Pirate Queen 7 months ago
I had a guy say that to me once. I told him to GTFO and go have dinner at his Mommy's house then. He was shocked. I literally turned the stove off and told him to get out. He called later to apologize, but I had already decided I wasn't getting into a pissing contest with his Mother.
Caffeine72 7 months ago
I made lasagna from scratch as taught to me by my Sicilian stepmom and he claimed that his WASP mother in Indiana made it better. I took it with me and left.
#14
I had meningitis and was lying in bed trying not to die and he still begged me to make him boxed orange chicken you just stick in the oven because “he didn’t know how”.
Charles McChristy 7 months ago
Or just regular incompentence. I work at a university and neither most of the men or women know how to make basic things like rice or frying an egg.
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Amy Smith 7 months ago
I got a call from a guy I met on my first day of uni about 6 months into our first year (we'd maybe spoken twice since meeting besides living in the same student flats) asking me to come over. I asked why and he told me he had a date and needed me to iron a shirt for him because he had no idea how and he didn't want to ask any of the boys who shared his flat because "it's really a girl thing to be good at". Needless to say I told him where to stick it and never spoke to him again. This is something else though, read the d**n instructions on the box... Numpty!
Lila Allen 7 months ago
I can't believe he thought it was going to work... that he'd just call you up and you'd pop over and iron his shirt. WTF who is raising these idiots? My 15 year old son irons his own stuff.
Load More Replies... #15
We were 19 and dating for a year. He ghosted me for like a week or two, out of the blue, we didn't fight or anything.
Initially I thought something bad happened, but when the days passed with him not answering my calls I figured he was too of a coward to break up with me, so I decided to move on.
After 2 weeks he calls and shows up at my work begging for forgiveness. I agreed to see him to get answers. Turns up his mom told him to do that, but he couldn't keep up with it because he "loved me so much and missed me".
Yeah I was so done.
Becca not Becky 7 months ago
Hopefully he learned to not let his mom dictate his relationships after that
#16
My ex boyfriend had to hold my hand and his mom’s hand an equal amount anytime we went anywhere. He would be holding my hand and then “halfway through” whatever we were doing he would go hold his moms hand for the rest of.
Royal Stray 7 months ago
This type of attachment should count as some form of grooming. It's unhealthy and stunts people's abilities to grow and become their own people and form functioning relationships.
Lila Allen 7 months ago
Yeah otherwise this is creepy AF. I mean I adore my mom and my family is very touchy feely and none of us would ever hold our mom's hand like this
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#17
We had broken up/gotten back together a few times, so my last straw actually happened after we had broken up for what was to be the last time. This was right after college so we were 22/23.
We had been planning our wedding and I had been asking him for months for a guest list for his side. He kept saying that his mom was working on it and I kept asking him to please ask her for it.
In one of our discussions after the breakup, he told me that his mom had been waiting for **ME** to ask her for the list and if **I** had just asked, she would have given it to me and she saw it as an insult that I wouldn't ask her directly.
It was in that moment that I realized it was never going to be us vs. the problem; it was going to be me vs. him & MIL whenever we had a disagreement and any lingering feelings about getting back together evaporated.
BeesEelsAndPups 7 months ago
This whole breaking up and getting back together thing seems odd to me. You broke up for a reason. Does it stem from a place of fear? Like you will be alone if you're not with this person? Or they are the only one who can understand you because of history? I am 45, and I can promise you, you'll meet many people in your life who will understand you, and who will love you. Why settle at 22 years old?
Lila Allen 7 months ago
So much this!!! Seriously do not fall for this people. That weird insecure maybe this is my only chance feeling is a lie. Better people out there. Find your people.
Load More Replies... #18
We wanted to plan a holiday together. I had some suggestions of where to go and asked him for his. He said he didn't know and he'd have to ask his mom what he'd like.
Royal Stray 7 months ago
Yeah, I'm leaning towards this too. Not knowing what you like or having any ideas about your own personal preferences tells me more that he wasn't allowed to have any of his own, or felt uncomfortable expressing his opinion in fear of retaliation of some sort.
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Silberwolf 7 months ago
So many of these stories scream trauma/massive mental health problems...
#19
We started dating when I was 16 and he was 26. Looking back, that should have been reason enough, but I was a stupid teenager. It took me about 3 years to figure out that he was controlling and jealous, he was unemployed, but I had school, a job and did all the cooking and cleaning. So he started inviting over his mom so that there was an 'impartial mediator' to help us through our issues.
It didn't take me long to figure out that it was just him and his mom trying to convince me that all our issues were my fault. It made me realise that as a stupid 19 year old, I was the more adult one in the relationship. It really helped me flip a switch and made me realise all the other issues we had weren't actually all my fault.
Koalalover 7 months ago
I agree, and it pains me to see her call herself "stupid" when she was clearly a victim
Load More Replies... Nils Skirnir 7 months ago
Nowadays, at least in the US (most other countries have 16 as age of consent), he could have been arrested. SHOULD have been
Royal Stray 7 months ago
Yeah, even if 15 or 16 is the age of consent doesn't mean that it should be fine for a 30yo and a 15yo to hook up or be in a relationship. There is absolutely no way that is healthy for anyone involved.
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winterwidow87 7 months ago (edited)
You're not stupíd at all OP, don't be so hard on yourself. It takes a lot of self awareness to be able to recognize that kind of situation and remove yourself from it at such a young age. You're not dúmb, the adults around you were disgusting, and you should be proud of yourself for pulling yourself up from an abůsive situation.
Crystalwitch60 7 months ago
Coercive abuse right there !! been there done that still got the scars both mentally n physically! two marriages one at 18 , physical next at 21 mentally controlling took me 14 yrs to get outta that one cos I couldn’t see it , so glad you got outta op xx
Lila Allen 7 months ago
Glad you made it out, but so so sorry for all you went through. Congratulations on escaping and finding your way.
Load More Replies... Lene 7 months ago
Ah yes. I know this one. I was 17 and he was 27 when we got together. I quickly moved in with him because of my own s****y family. He told me that he was independent from his parents even though they shared a house (they lived on the ground floor and basement, he lived on the upper two floors. Both "homes" were like two seperate apartments but with shared entrance). He wouldn't let me listen to my music but he got to listen to his every day. Whenever we had a disagreement he'd go downstairs and talk to his mom about how awful I was for hours. He also walked their dog and did a lot of chores for them while expecting me to do everything for him. It went on like this (and worse) for a year and a half until I left. Oh, did I mention that he had told his coworkers that he expected us to get married? We'd just been together for a few weeks when I learned about this.
#20
He consulted his family and came back with a bulleted list (I think there were at least 5 items) of everything he and his mom hated about me. Literally a Performance Improvement Plan consisting of everything he (and her) wanted to me to do better in the relationship.
BrownEyedPanda 7 months ago (edited)
I would have taken a lit match to that list, all the while maintaining direct eye contact with the mama's boy. He'd get the message, loud and clear.
Beth Wheeler 7 months ago
Oh I would have made the exact same thing for each of them with you can kiss my a*s as the first and last on them!
Enuya 7 months ago (edited)
I can imagine myself (or any other person not really good in communicating their feelings) doing this. Asking family members for advice for relationship issues doesn't seem like a bad thing as they sometimes notice things we do not. And I like lists - making them helps me rationalize my thoughts and not forget about something important. I think everything depends from the list's content: are these serious issues or petty ones? There is a huge difference between "my mum thinks you show too much cleavage and should lose weight" and "my mum noticed that you try to cut me from my friends and family and gaslight me about it". First one is crazy, second one may be valid.
Lila Allen 7 months ago
If it were a list of concerns yes, but a list of " things you need to change to make you acceptable to us" which is what the post states.... yeah that's controlling and off
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#21
His mom packed him a lunch when we were heading out for the day. Just him. She didn’t pack anything for me. Then she texted him almost the whole time and he answered every one.
Lila Allen 7 months ago
I'm fascinated by the " answered every one". I'm lucky if my 15 year old son will even do a thumbs up emoji when I text him unless it's critical info.
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#22
At 20 years old, his mom didn’t want him spending the night with his girlfriend (me). He decided to do it anyway because he was an adult.
We went out to dinner that night and I got a text from my roommate that his mom was literally camped in the lobby of our apartment building, buzzing our bell, screaming at my roommate that he was lying and we actually WERE in there and that she would sit and wait until we eventually had to leave the apartment. Between this she was nonstop calling my boyfriend and me.
We stayed out until like midnight then slowly drove past my apartment to make sure she wasn’t still there.
It didn’t last very long after that….
Lila Allen 7 months ago
See I would've come back, called cops, waited until they arrived and stood behind her while she screamed and screamed and then asked her who she was screaming to.
#23
I wasn’t a daddy’s little princess by any means, but my dad would call on his way over to pick me up for breakfast in Saturday or Sunday mornings at like 8 am after I moved back to the same city after college. This was never prearranged or agreed upon, he’d just say “Hey! Your mom and I are on the way to pick you up for breakfast!” I was usually hung over and had my eventual husband in bed with me. I often told him no, I didn’t want breakfast, but he rarely listened, so I’d have to drag myself out of bed, hung over, and go eat. Finally one day, I had enough, said no, he kept insisting and I finally said “Papa! I have a guy in my bed and I’m not going to breakfast.” He apologized and hung up. He called me later to tell me how inappropriate it was for me to share that information and that he was my father and didn’t need to know that. I reminded him that I told him no many times and if he would just listen, he wouldn’t hear uncomfortable things. He started reaching out the night before to see if I wanted to meet for breakfast and always accepted the first “no” after that.
Brian Droste 7 months ago
So in this instance, it wasn't OP but the father/parents that were attached to their daughter.
#24
He had just purposely, on accident no-showed a flight that I paid for him, I was asking why he didn't make arrangements when he's known the flight times for 2 months. I was sobbing but instead of trying to console me, he gave the phone to his mama and never apologized or paid me back for the flight.
Todd, you're still on my sh*tlist for the no-show flights!
Babs McGurk 7 months ago
So... was it an accident, or was it on purpose? I truly can't determine that from the post.
UKGrandad 7 months ago
"He had just purposely, on accident.." Jesus wept! First, it's 'by' accident, and second, the phrase is 'accidentally on purpose'. And before the usual ignorance-excusing mob start in with 'bUT ENglIsh Isn'T eveRYbOdY's FIrSt lANguAge'', this one was clearly written by a English-speaker (of sorts).
Lila Allen 7 months ago
Ok this appears to be a linguistic separation between UK and American. So on accident is the correct statement in American English. By accident is UK.( and don't start because you all say " fall pregnant" like it's some kind of slip and trip incident. Secondly accidentally on purpose is a colloquial phrase common to a specific set of generations in the US and is therefore similar to any other figurative language construct like " let the cat out of the bag" It means the person pretended to forget or engaged in the act as though it were an accident but the recipient was aware that the action was purposeful and deliberate. Hopefully this clears up any confusion.
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Robyn Doyle 7 months ago (edited)
Almost 20 years ago, an ex (32M) and I (33F) planned a vacation for months. Two weeks prior, he would dodge the topic if I brought it up. Then amazingly, he went out of town without me at the exact time we’d planned to be out of town. Turned out he took his mom and his dog to the beach house we’d secured for a week, instead of me. He expected me to be happy for him. I broke up with him then. I failed to mention that in the midst of the early planning (maybe five months prior to the vacay), his roommate moved out. Instead of finding another, he had mommy move in. We redecorated HIS house to suit her. She had her own house but moved in with her “grown” son.
#25
Mama's boy. He wouldn't talk to me about any of our relationship issues. Instead he'd go to his mother and she'd tell him what I should do, who I should be. I met the woman once for 5 minutes. He was also unemployed. I paid he bills, cleaned house, laundry, bills, cooked. He sat around "figuring things out". Yet, I wasn't good enough as I did not have a PHD (he has one).
He now lives off his family without a job. He is late 40's.
BeesEelsAndPups 7 months ago
My mother complains that I don't have a PhD. I'll forever be a disappointment.
Lila Allen 7 months ago
Does your mom have a PhD? Trust me you can definitely still be a disappointment with a PhD and you can be a genius with no college degrees at all. Hope your mom comes around.
Load More Replies... geezeronthehill 7 months ago
I wonder what subject he "piled higher and deeper"? Comparative Philosophy of Medieval China?
Janelle Collard 7 months ago
"How to Get Mommy to Chase Off All of Your Girlfriends So You're Single Forever and Have to Live With Mom."
Load More Replies... Kate Johnson 7 months ago
Unemployed momma's boy? Exactly what was the attraction that allowed you to service someone like that?
#26
As I sat there getting screamed at by her mother, she looked across the table at me and in her eyes I could see nothing but utter shame and an apologetic, pleading stare.
She knew what was happening was wrong. That I was, and had been for some time, treated like s**t by her mother.
And even then, in that moment, she said *nothing*. Completely silent.
Crystalwitch60 7 months ago
To bloody scared to move by the sounds of that she was asking for help !
Royal Stray 7 months ago
The problem with this is that if she's not ready to cut ties at the very least significantly, preferably permanently then he can't do anything. My guess is that she gets the same treatment from her mother and is terrified, but if she won't let him help her out of there then moving on is the only thing he can do
Load More Replies... Amy Smith 7 months ago (edited)
An ex I had years ago flipped out during an argument and started throwing things when I told her I was leaving. This woke her dad up. He came running down the stairs, stuck his face in mine and started shouting at me for "getting her into a state", didn't say a thing to his daughter who was the one screaming and smashing up his house. We were both in our early 20s, both adults and didn't live together. I had offered to diffuse the situation by leaving and already felt unsafe when she started doing her nut, him coming and yelling at me about it was exactly what made me walk straight out the door.
BeesEelsAndPups 7 months ago
This happened with me and my now ex-wife. Her mom got in my face and started yelling at me because I disagreed with her about something she had said about my daughter. I had long forgotten the disagreement, but this family is proud of their ability to hold onto grudges, and so several days later her mom just let me have it. I sat there and let her get it out of her system, then I left and never spoke with her again.
Magenta Blu 7 months ago (edited)
People think it's easy to just speak up and stand for yourself, but for those who had endured physical punishment, it is never easy, because any sound coming out of their mouth only means another round of abuse and blows and kicks and insulting.. it may even be life threatening, so people just freezes. Not that they have another choice. And then when those who claim to love and care for them just leave.. or confront them for not defending themselves.. it only means another lay of abuse. For some people, the neverending cycle of abue is their daily rutine.
#27
I had _known_ him for a month, hadn’t even kissed yet. He got a stomach bug for a few days, I had him food, snacks and water delivered (he lived over an hour away from me).
His mum and his sisters threw a fit because I didn’t even show up to cook for him, how dared I mistreat him this way?
Anyway, that was the last straw and I blocked him.
BeesEelsAndPups 7 months ago
Dating for a month and never kissed. That's taking it slow, no judgement, just surprised. Still if a girl I had been dating for only a month did all that for me, I'd be pretty damned grateful. Hell, if a girl I'd been dating for 5 years did it, I'd be damned grateful. That's more than anyone has ever done for me.
Magenta Blu 7 months ago (edited)
I did even more than that.. moved from my country because he had an accident and required long term recovery and he just dumped me.. because HIS Ex-wife (mother of his kid) didn't approve that I was not from the same religion and cultural background and it "will confuse the kid" so he dumped me. In a foreign country. Alone. Without a formal job, and without even speaking the foreign language. 4 years of relationship didn't mean anything, because "the daughter will be confused to see his daddy with a foreign woman that will be a bad influence because of religious discrepancies". So I understand why women will just avoid doing anything, because men don't care
Load More Replies... #28
This actually happened after our breakup but I think it belongs here…
While we were dating I’d let him borrow my car to get to work or band practices. (It was an older car and I had a few specific rules about using it because it couldn’t be pushed too hard. He ignored those rules and f****d up my car multiple times, causing breakdowns and then b***hed about having to pitch in for repairs. This isn’t really relevant but it does showcase his sense of entitlement)
Anyway, once we finally broke up his mom BOUGHT him a car since he couldn’t afford his own and obviously couldn’t use mine anymore. Dude was near 30 and couldn’t even afford to buy himself a clunker to get around.
I became friends with his next ex after me (he’s an a*****e but honestly has great taste in women) and turns out he wrecked that car and Mommy Dearest bought him another, which he also wrecked.
BeesEelsAndPups 7 months ago
I'm jealous. I wish somebody would buy me a new car. I won't even wreck it, I promise. Doesn't even have to be new. Doesn't even have to be a car, I'll accept a cake.
#29
His hand on her butt during the mother son dance at our wedding.
#30
Not a mama’s boy but a daddy’s boy. Came back to residence one afternoon at university only to hear loud sobbing coming from the room across from me. The door was ajar so I peeked in to see if the 6’-4” 280 lb football player was OK. He was inconsolable. I assumed a death in the family and tried to console him — when he finally stopped bawling he choked out that he had lost his wallet and couldn’t get his dad on the phone to tell him what to do. A few questions later and we figured out that he may have left it in his football locker, where we found it.
Nils Skirnir 7 months ago
Lots of high achieving athletes have been (and are still) controlled (bullied) by fathers
Jcusack 7 months ago
My first thought was his dad probably whoops him anytime he did anything wrong, so when he lost something extremely important, his dads going to kick the p**s out of him
Load More Replies... Jaya 7 months ago
Doesn't have to be a daddy's boy, could also be someone with an anxiety disorder who is totally freaked out by all the possible dangers that he imagines can happen when you lose your wallet. And then he just reached out to someone calm who he trusts, to give him some advice on how to handle it, and the calm person he trusts happens to be a family member, how is that wrong?
Erla Zwingle 7 months ago
Seems to me that if he did suffer from an anxiety disorder this wasn't the first crisis he'd hit, which leads me to think his family/father enabled it. Being incapacitated by anxiety isn't normal and he shouldn't be left alone till a therapist helps him deal with it. His family, especially his father, appears to be just fine with being indispensable to his helpless little pollywog. Otherwise, his father ought to move in with him and live with him forever. How is that wrong?
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Michaelann Dahlman 7 months ago
Absurd to me that a college aged adult wouldn't know how to look for his wallet properly, & know how to report the loss to the police, call his bank to cancel hos debit &/or credit cards, apply for new ID. It's very simple basic stuff.
#31
It was his 29th birthday dinner. We met up with his mom and her partner for a casual dinner. She brought a small round cake (pre-made) and a candle. We sang Happy Birthday. He blew out the candle. She used her index finger to swipe up some rogue frosting that was on the plastic plate holding the cake. She raised her index finger and the frosting toward him. He took the finger into his mouth and when it reemerged there was no frosting. Did he suck it off? Swirl his tongue around her finger? I will never know.
#32
Sort of the opposite, my mother has never really liked any woman either my brother or I have dated. She finally came around to my wife after years of marriage.
We (my mother and I) did have a few knock down drag out early on when my wife and I first got married. Mostly thru fenders around totally mundane things like who was sitting next to whom at formal dinners. My mother was always trying to separate my brother and I from our spouses. It finally ended when I said I simply won’t come to thanksgiving dinner of if I cannot sit next to my wife.
Fellfromthemoon 7 months ago
If every couple in the family has to sit separately, only then it's ok. (If you ask Miss Manners, she'll tell you that this supposed to be the courteous thing.)
#33
I dated a guy in university whose parents lived in the Middle East; his mom would call constantly to check in on him. This was back in the mid-2000s and he still had an answering machine. He kept the answering machine on the setting where you could hear the message being left by the person calling, so literally every night between 11 pm and 3 am (she didn't bother taking the time difference into consideration) there'd be at least one or two calls and then the sound of her screeching for him to pick up the phone in Urdu.
That was bad enough, but then she decided to MOVE IN WITH US for "just a few months" aaaaand that was the last straw.
OzzyTheMano (They/Them) 7 months ago
"there'd be at least one or two calls and then the sound of her screeching for him to pick up the phone in Urdu." I pictured that seagull meme when i read this
#34
When I was 17, my boyfriend (19) at that time wanted me to have the same hairstyle and color as his mother, the same clothes, the same glasses (I don’t wear glasses), everything. He didn’t explicitly say that it was about his mother, but he kept sending me links and making suggestions about these things, and I recognized everything because I saw it on his mother. He even pushed me to gain weight and sent me pics of what he wanted my body to look like (you guessed it: same body type as his mother). Thought it was some Freud type of s**t until I went on their family vacation (mom, dad, boyfriend) and I saw her picking his outfit and dressing him, when he was wet after swimming she dried him with a towel, she fed him his ice cream, she wiped his mouth with a napkin, etc. We slept in the same room, but not in the same bed because she didn’t allow us to. One night i woke up at 5am and he was gone, didn’t think much of it, then when I woke up at like 8am, he still wasn’t there (he always slept in till like 11). When I went into the living room I saw his dad sleeping on the couch. Finally, he came walking out of his parent’s bedroom, so I asked him what he was doing there. He told me he had a nightmare so he slept with his mommy in bed, like he apparently always does. This actually happened twice. I ended the relationship right when we got home. Mind you, I had known this boy for two years prior to our relationship (we weren’t friends, but more like acquaintances), and he was a really smart and funny guy, just your average dude, so this came as a complete shock to me.
Midoribird Aoi 7 months ago
This is the sort of thing where Mommy only allows him a wife long enough for a couple of children for Mommy to raise instead, and DIL is divorced after.
Lost Penny 7 months ago
That poor boy. Some people do their best to make sure they leave their children no chance whatsoever to succeed in life.
#35
He would call his mom every day, it wasn't that big of a red flag at first. One time she called in the middle of our date and they proceeds to talk in their native language for 20 minutes while I just sat there.
He would ask his mom's opinion on everything, can't seem to make any decision for himself - as small as whether or not he should buy new gloves.
I found out his mom was calling him by the cheesy nickname between us.
The last straw was that he said he wouldn't go to *my home country* because his mom made him promise not to.
Uncle Schmickle 7 months ago
Speaking for that length of time in the middle of a date on its own is enough to put you off. What bad manners.
#36
Another fight about how we had no savings because he refused to do any kind of work and I told him that if I ever lost my job, we'd lose the house. His response "my mom won't let that happen." we were in our 30s and his mom was his only back up plan.
#37
The last person I dated before meeting my husband needed so badly to remove his balls from his mother's purse. She had opinions about me that honestly I can live with, but they changed the way he treated me. Suddenly, the two of them were having monthly meetings in public places that I was not allowed to attend, but he refused to leave me at home for. So he'd force me to come with them into town then I was required to walk around town with no money, no way home, and not allowed into the business they were having their meeting in. I was also not allowed to bring anything to keep me entertained. No book, no crochet, no headphones, nothing.
I started organizing my escape after the first meeting.
I'm happy to say I was able to leave with most of my belongings. I moved cross country, met my husband, and while things aren't perfect I'm happy. Hubby and I are about to celebrate 18 years married.
Awkward lady 7 months ago
This is very confusing. Was she being coerced or something? Didn't she have family she could turn to? Lack of detail here.
Val 7 months ago
He could have been a*****e, threatened to k**l her or worse.
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#38
He didn't cook, didn't clean, didn't work, stayed up all night arguing with 12-year-olds on call of duty and sleeping all day while I was at work, and said "I want you to fold my clean socks the way my mom does it.".
Beth Wheeler 7 months ago
Ummmm your stupid lazy a*s can fold your own socks and the rest of your clothes
#39
Momma' s boy. Typical s**t of me doing all the cooking and cleaning being the grown-up while he sat around and did nothing. Then he spent the weekend at mommy's house and then wasn't answering my calls or texts. Finally, he did answer and said we had to break up, no explanation, no reason at all. I was leaving class when this happened, and by the time I got home, he was gone, and so was all his s**t. Found out weeks later, his mom told him to do it because I was" ruining his life." Meanwhile, I was in school for nursing, and he was working retail with no future plans. Now I've been working as a nurse for 10 years, and last I heard from mutual friends, he still loves with mommy at a dead-end job. But man f**k you Nate for not being man enough to face me and leaving me to pay rent by myself. Have the life you deserve.
SheamusFanFrom1987 7 months ago
Hey, hey, hey! I'm pretty sure the Nate we know over here is a decent bloke @Nathaniel XP XD
Load More Replies... Lost Penny 7 months ago (edited)
So had he not broken up with her, OP would continue doing all the cooking & cleaning being the grown-up while he sat around and did nothing... Okay.
#40
My Ex would call his mum weekly to drive 1 hour to his flat to clean it and take his dirty laundry with her. With every visit, she gave him last weeks laundry back, all cleaned and ironed.
He was 30 years old and absolutly capable of doing these things on his own, he even owned a wasching maschine and a dryer.
His argument? His mom wants to do it and he didn't want to take this "fun" from her. Not even when I moved in with him. It was so embarassing. He even was mad at me when I wasched my own clothes, he wanted me to give it also to his mum.
BlueFire 5 months ago
My MIL did this once when my husband and I were holidaying with his family. She asked for my laundry and I told her I would do it myself. She snuck into my room sometime later and washed all my stuff and gave it back folded, but missing a bunch of stuff that she stole. Plus she threw all the washing in hers (ewww) and didn't separate lights from darks so all my light clothing looked grey.
Jenny 5 months ago
I don't understand your 'ewww' comment. There is nothing wrong with washing one person's laundry in a machine with another's - apart from the light clothing/ dark clothing issue.
Load More Replies... #41
When I was in high school, probably age 17 or 18, I was dating a guy a couple years older than me. The first/only time I met his mom she was asking me what I was planning to study in college and when I told her she said "good! You'll be able to financially support (son)". I don't know if he was a mama's boy or if she was giving me a warning, but after that I kept having nightmares that we were getting married and I eventually broke up with him.
Aelin Wildfire 7 months ago
You know your relationship is bad when your dreams about marrying your partner are -nightmares-...
Janelle Collard 7 months ago
Good thing mom waved the red flags before OP go further into that relationship.
#42
Despite the fact that my almost MIL was disabled and unable to clean, my ex fiancé did not clean the bathroom. I gave them a heads up that I would clean the bathroom and proceeded to clean it. Despite the fact that I took initiative, the woman criticized my work instead of her lazy son.
Erla Zwingle 7 months ago
Why is she criticizing anything? Was she going to do it? Or didn't she know how to clean the bathroom either, just like her son? Oh wait, I think I get it now...
#43
She took his sandwich (which she had made) into the kitchen to add salad cream because "she knows how I like it" also she spoon fed him some medicine... he was 38 at the time.
Jcusack 7 months ago
I have never heard of salad cream until this moment and now I want that instead of Mayo. It does sound better! haha
Learner Panda 7 months ago
I find mayo slimy and would recommend salad cream. It's much tastier.
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Michael Largey 7 months ago
Sounds like she just forgot the salad cream when she made his sandwich and was only correcting her omission. But spoon feeding him medicine???
Val 7 months ago
I looked it up and google says it's a yellow, tangier version of mayo. 🤷♀️
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Lila Allen 7 months ago
No salad cream...very different from miracle whip
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#44
Their mom got in the Shower with them to shave their armpits after a very! minor surgery on their hand. Meanwhile I waited in the bedroom.
Sophia Pandia de Delphia 7 months ago (edited)
After spinal fusion due to a broken back, my mom had to shower me for almost 2 weeks. The damage was so severe that I couldn't stand long enough, bend over, or twist and mom stayed clothed and outside the tub, using a handheld shower head. I suppose that makes the difference?
#45
She broke up with me after 4 months because her dad doesn't believe in love.
#46
He threw a silent fit on my birthday in front of my family because I didn’t want to make his dinner plate for him.
#47
When he thought he could have a girlfriend and I'd just be ok with it since his momma was. She always hated me bc I would talk c**p about them being so.... Weird together. They had a grossly weird relationship and still do. He still lives with his momma. He's 36... And married.... With a kid. His parents pay his bills, buy him vehicles, fight his fights... I wasn't raised to depend on people doing stuff for me.
Janelle Collard 7 months ago
I'm confused - was OP married to the guy when he announced he was also going to have a *girlfriend???" WTF???
#48
He always dragged his mom into our arguments so she could side with him in the argument. Then if she and I went somewhere together she'd be on my side.
Final straw was when he decided to mix alcohol with his medication and pointed a knife at me. She took his side.
That sent me into a spiral where I lost 2-3 months of time. When I came back to reality, I had meticulously and somehow secretly separated his stuff from my stuff and had it ready to be moved out. I had enough stuff that it filled a long-wheel trailer and 3 cars. I had packed it so well it took us 6 hours and 1 trip to get it all out.
Best thing I ever did for myself.
Malide 7 months ago
That's actually kind of crazy, being out of it/dissociating like that and coming to and realizing you've separated your stuff. The subconscious mind is very powerful.
Koalalover 7 months ago
Yeah that sounds like trauma to me, but not at all surprising given the situation!
Load More Replies... #49
Ahahaha, finally, my time has come! When I was 20 I dated a 27 year old "man" who's mother felt I wasn't good enough for him, despite being in a highly esteemed private college, and not unattractive, and kind and polite. He wasn't exactly a prime catch - I was young and dumb.
He and I went out one night - dinner and a movie - and right as we parked in the movie theater lot his mother called his cell phone. She told him they were out of bread (he still lived at home) and that he needed to go to the store and bring it to her. He told her she would have to go get it herself, as we were at the movie theater 45 minutes from home. She insisted, and whined, and cried, yet he resisted and hung up. Two minutes later as we're walking into the theater she calls back...she heard a noise and she's scared. She wants him to come home and check out out. She knows we're 45 minutes away. My ex told her to call the police if she's that scared, but she starts whining and crying...so guess what. He actually tells me we have to go! WE LEAVE THE THEATER and I told him to just drop me off at home on his way by. We lasted a few more weeks. I don't know what tf I was thinking.
Just Another Karen 7 months ago
Something like this happened to me once. My ex was a huge momma's boy. He did everything she wanted. She hated me (she's very conservative, and I have a lot of tattoos, piercings, etc.), and he always took her side ’cause he was afraid of her. Once, we had just arrived at a motel (in Brazil, a motel is a place you go to for a few hours just to have s3x), ’cause we’d planned a date night with a bathtub and stuff. It was suuuuper far from his mom’s place. Then she called him, asking him to grab something from the supermarket for her. It wasn’t urgent—she could’ve waited. But he didn’t even tell her he’d do it later. He was too scared, so he just left me there, alone, in the middle of our date night at a freaking motel. The worst part? He proposed to me one day, but he never told his mother… ’cause he was scared of her!!! A year later, he broke up with me because of her!!!!!!!!!!! (At the time, I was shocked, but honestly? Best thing he ever did for me.)
GalPalAl 7 months ago
This is like a textbook case of how my mother treats me all of the time for my whole life. Controlling, unable to make informed decisions and think she knows the best of everything and knows nothing. Will never be rational or satisfied. A terrible way to go through life, but more so to be the child of a parent like this
#50
Lots of little things like “my mom does/doesn’t it this way”, that I shouldn’t have ignored but did. But she showed high on something to our wedding to help her deal with him leaving.
Val 7 months ago
I think OP means that his mom showed up to the wedding- high- to cope with the fact that he was getting married? Still though, they got married??
Load More Replies... Michael Largey 7 months ago (edited)
"My mom can find a vein so much better than you can."
Load More Replies... #51
He couldn’t make time to see me during his holiday break home from college because he had to go grocery shopping with his mom, on the only day that I wasn’t working.
#52
He cancelled long standing plans, and I texted him to know I wasn't happy about it. His mum went through his phone and saw the text messages, called my house phone, asked my dad (who answered) to speak to me and then yelled at me over "hurting her little boy's feelings". She used some pretty nasty insults. Apparently he regularly gave her access to her phone because they had "no secrets".
He was in his mid 20s and older than me, so it wasn't like he was a young teenager or something. Having the audacity to go through my father made it so much worse. My poor dad didn't know who it was when she called as she didn't identify herself, he thought it was my mum using a funny voice as a joke and was so guilty he didn't tell her to f**k off when I later told him what happened.
#53
Not dated, but my ex-step-sister. She had grown up with luxury and privilege, very different from me, but I loved her like a sister and thought we were close. I made excuses for her truly awful behavior and ignored a lot because I wanted us to be sisters. The last straw was when she didn’t get homecoming queen. She literally seduced the winner’s father and was the catalyst for the girl’s parent’s divorce. The homecoming queen ended up having to love towns and the family lost their home in the divorce proceedings. Over a dumb homecoming title.
winterwidow87 7 months ago (edited)
I mean, this girl is nûts, but i have no sympathy for the homecoming queen's father. He wasn't "seduced", he willingly decided to cheat on his wife, he's the one to blame for what happened after. Also i am not from the usa so i only know about these things from movies/tv shows: isn't "homecoming queen" a title given in high school? If that's the case, double yikes for the father.
Hugh Crawford 7 months ago
She was wrong, but let's not forget the dad was obviously willing to sleep with a .inor
#54
My ex had a weird thing on his d**k and I said, “You should probably go to the doctor.” And he said, “No I’m just gonna go show my mom real quick.”
You know she touched it to get a proper look.
Lila Allen 7 months ago
If she was a doctor....maybe. But honestly any parent should send their kid to a doctor. PS it's probably genital warts and those are contagious so mom might have some gnarly looking hands
Load More Replies... #55
I wouldn't necessarily define her as daddy's princess but her dad did get referenced a bit during our break up discussion.
We were in a fight she started because I had in a rush mistyped something in a text. And even though the mistype was not something I would have said, instead of asking me to clarify or anything, she turns it into an opportunity to air out all her grievances with me.
The big one that made me decide to walk away was she started complaining about how I never pay for her on dates. I am disabled and am limited in how much I can work and so have limited funds, it was straining enough to pay for me on dates she wanted sometimes let alone pay for both of us.
Another was I had never bought her flowers or any other spontaneous gift. We'd been together for less than two months.
So at one point she made the statement it would be "embarrassing to bring me home to meet her dad because I wasn't paying for things often enough."
Which all of this caught me off guard because she had never once complained before.
So I just kind of checked out and just let her keep talking until she got it out of her system and then she hung up on me " because I had nothing to say for myself" and two days later things ended.
Whether her dad was like that or not clearly I wasn't the type of man she wanted despite saying she wanted me. And especially if her dad is one of those "how will you financially care for my daughter types" it wasn't worth me getting in to deep on that relationship.
#56
Buckle up! It's not quite the thing, but similar enough. This guy told people we were dating, but really he was my boss. (I found out later). And he was bizarrely enmeshed with both parents.
The first time I met his parents, it was a surprise dinner at his family's house (I thought we were picking some stuff up). Not only was it a surprise family dinner, with all his relatives, they sprang it on me that he'd told them my mother had been abused by my dad, (yikes, dude), and rather than offering sympathy or concern, they launched into a long, intense tirade about how my mother was just as much scum as my father, for allowing her children to exist in that environment. Never mind that he hospitalized her to prevent her from escaping, but we still got away? Or that he broke the arm of a police officer when she called the cops and they still let him out the next day and even gave him a ride home? It was tremendously awful. I was aghast, for So. Many. Reasons.
So I said what I could, but mostly stayed quiet, because we were off in some suburb, an hour away from anywhere I could get a taxi home, and after I told the guy I never wanted to see his parents again. To let me know if they were coming into the office, so I could hide or something. He said he understood completely, but then manufactured a situation where I was, again, isolated in a place I couldn't leave on my own, as well as locked in! I thought it was a mistake, but then his parents unlocked the door and came in. They wouldn't leave me alone and both wanted me to hug them to show that I "accepted their apology" which, by the way, they did not give. So I ended up standing there, stiffly, saying, "please don't touch me" while these two people, twice my age, draped themselves over me. They kept saying, "We're not bad people! Just call me Mom/Dad, just say we're all okay now, and we'll leave!"
It felt like I was in an sketchy alternative reality. If I hadn't really needed that job, I would have left that day and never been seen again. Sadly, I stuck it out for several months and, no, it never got better. .
Clown fish 7 months ago
All I understand is boss said they were dating and his family are nutty
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Gingersnap In Iowa 7 months ago
The boss told his family they were dating? Okay, but why in the hell would your boss know that much detail about your personal life?
#57
I found out his mom was buying the condoms we use. 😬 He use to get so excited when he’d bring over flavored ones or ribbed ones to try. I ended it once I figured out it was his mom getting them for him the whole time to make sure he was being “safe” 🤢🤮.
Lila Allen 7 months ago
OP says boyfriend got excited when she) OP ) bought different ones because I'm guessing mom bought plain?? But I don't see why mom buying condoms is that big of a deal.
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S Mi 7 months ago
This one does depend a bit on age and access. Hard to get free condoms around here and son and friends were in programs that made it hard to get jobs. When he was about 15, I put condoms in the cupboard and told him anyone who needed them could just take them. I checked regularly to replace them, even though they just expired.
Michael Largey 7 months ago
Perhaps she was responsible enough to realize this guy should not reproduce and was acting on that insight. (Oh, yeah, there are other explanations too.)
#58
We lived in another country and his mom would constantly have his little sister call him crying because we took a trip together and didn’t visit her.
She was like 7 and didn’t have social media so his mom would see the photos, tell his sister we were traveling to see them, and then days later tell her we went somewhere else instead.
His parents were both retired and could travel to where we lived for free but conveniently were always too busy to come visit.
#59
His mom called me to schedule hanging out with him because he was “sad and needed moral support but was too shy to express it”. we were 20.
Lila Allen 7 months ago
If you're over 12 and need mommy to schedule your playdates.... yeah that's a hard pass.
Michael Largey 7 months ago
Better than moms who show up unannounced whenever they like, night or day.
#60
There were two, but I was stupid and thought the first was just because we lived with his mother for a little while. She did our laundry. OURS. As in was touching my dirty underwear and would NOT stop no matter how many times I asked.
Then we moved into a place together and he strangled me in an argument. I ran while he locked himself in the bathroom, screaming about "what I turned him into".
Yes, he's back living with his mother.
If you asked him, my bet is the time he had a fit that my dad was "taking too long" to fix my car *properly* so I would be safe on the road instead of quickly jerry-rigging a fix. My father wanting my safety made me a 'princess'.
Lila Allen 7 months ago
Ok wow she way undersold the whole attempted murder and full on a*****t.
#61
Bought her earrings for Christmas after not buying me a single piece of jewelry in the 12 years we were married. .
Lila Allen 7 months ago
I'm so confused. How is this being a " princess" or in any way about them being too close with parents?
#62
Momma girl stories
i was having a coughing fit and instead of asking what happened or offering me help she accused me of coughing loudly and I might wake up her mom sleeping in next bedroom over.
I told her I must take caffeine in morning to function during the morning before her brother wedding brunch I wanted to get caffeine but she kept on saying we need to go, can get it later. I replied I don’t mind even if it’s just black tea, or instant coffee but she kept saying she didn’t have that, and I can’t bring a cuppa over there because it looks weird and she wants to put good impression for mom. Eventually I did attend wedding lunch I asked for caffeine , but was made to drink same thing as her mom at the table. So I finished the wedding lunch so tired and unable to function instead of asking how I am feeling ex said her mom asked why I was so quiet and tired.
Another festive dinner I was so tired and overwhelmed by the hectic place that I’ve started to disassociate. Instead of asking if I needed help ex said I was acting weird and her mom was asking about it.
All these made me feel like I have to put on a pretend, even if I am unwell, for the mother. And that the mother’s opinion is more important than my health or discomfort.
Nils Skirnir 7 months ago
That’s pretty normal. Or at least was, for middle class white families. It sux, but that was pretty much the norm 50-40 yrs ago. Hope it’s changed
BarfyCat 7 months ago
In the U.S. it is very abnormal to not have a hot caffeinated beverage available in the morning. The only thing that would make this normal is if the OP woke up way too late to grab a coffee and still make it to the wedding lunch.
Load More Replies... Erla Zwingle 7 months ago
I really feel for you, but I wonder if you might have some underlying condition that makes you so tired, not to mention "overwhelmed by the hectic place." There are other things besides caffeine that could help you feel brighter (seriously, check your thyroid). As for becoming overstimulated in hectic situations, it happens to me too, though never to the point of disassociating. I would really recommend giving some thought as to how you could cut down on the stress your life. Conclusion: Your girlfriend was a horror and you're well rid of her.
#63
I had to wear his mom’s pearls to prom.
Erla Zwingle 7 months ago
I think it could have been genuinely sweet if it had been his mother who asked you to wear them. Him making the request is creepy.
Robin Roper 7 months ago
Could be creepy if she wanted to relive her prom memories through her son's. OP should have joked "I'd have thought you'd not want your son to loose his virginity while his parter was wearing your pearls, but okay." That would have been hilarious if it were a creepy reason she wanted them worn.
What do you think ?
Donna Peluda 7 months ago
My (m56) MIL used to leave small religious objects around our house to protect her daughter from evil, evil was me BTW. She'd find a cross in a jacket or a icono of a Saint ot virgen in a trouser pocket. MIL sloped religious iconography behind paintings. Like all religious bigots she was a mean horrible person.
Robin Roper 7 months ago
Anyone else notice how many of these are the men and their moms? Those mom's are crazy! I'm a mother of a son who is married and, d**n, I'm the best MIL in the world! If asked, I'll help with their laundry. If one doesn't feel well I call and ask if they need food. If asked I run errands for them. I keep their dog and feed their cats if need be. They both have allergies and if they ask I dust and vacuum their home. My DIL has massive food allergies and I adjust my meals so she always has food to eat when they come to our house. Interestingly, my son likes spending time with me; and it's not weird.
Binky Melnik 7 months ago
I’m wondering, aside from cultural differences, what the heck goes wrong with people that these icky things happen. I remember how I could not WAIT to leave home to be independent, and everyone I’ve ever been involved with was the same. What the hell kinda switch is flipped in some people that they end up in these gross relationships where they can’t do a damned thing without Mommy (or Daddy)? Where they compare everything to the way Mommy does it? Some of these were borderline sexual, even, and the first time I see that kinda behavior, I’ll be out of there! I want to be in a relationship with an adult, not a child! It appears some people are simply broken somehow thanks to Mommy (or Daddy, though I’m relieved that Daddy didn’t come up much in these stories). It always seems to be the opposite gender parent who’s the problem. (shiver!)
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Scott Rackley 7 months ago
"Girls won't date me" No s**t, they usually don't like children as partners.
T MB83 7 months ago
I dated this guy who was 40 and his mum lived 3 hours away like on a farm and every Friday after work we had to get a train, stay with her over the weekend and then come back on Sunday night to start work on Monday, like every single weekend this was expected, I started to go nuts because I had no time to do anything else, like even housework and laundry etc, when I brought it up with him like can we just not go EVERY weekend, he just went nuts, like I was this huge monster or something.
BarfyCat 7 months ago
I feel like a lot of these guys are actually being a b u s e d by their mothers. This list brought up a memory for me. I was 23 or 24 and had my first real, full-time job. In the same organization, different departments, a mother and a son worked. Mom started stiking up conversations with me, and I thought she was nice. When she proposed that we go to a nearby restaurant for lunch, I readily agreed. I was surprised to find that the son was also included in the lunch. It quickly became clear that she wanted me to date her son. He was very quiet and withdrawn, she did all the talking. I decided that sure, I can give him a chance, and agreed to go to lunch with him on a different day. Guess who showed up to that lunch...Mom. That was it for me and I avoided them for the rest of my time employed in that place!
ElfVibratorGlitter 7 months ago
My partner's mom just wants me to "give her a grandson" despite being 39... that's our major issue. I did pre-order her mother day flowers that I spent an hour+ picking out just for her...so we'll see if I somehow did that wrong or it's appreciated. 🤷🏻♂️
geezeronthehill 7 months ago
My late wife's mother (by all accounts a hateful woman) suffered an aneurysm and d i e d before we met. My mother d i e d in a farming accident 2 weeks after meeting my wife. So we never had mother in law problems. Helluva way to dodge the issue, but that's life.
Lene 7 months ago
As a mother I'm left here thinking: why the heĺl do these mothers not just leave their adult kids alone? But perhaps they made motherhood too big a part of their personality so they didn't know when to stop? Anyways, it was a very creepy post. I cannot understand the mothers for not letting their kids roam free and I cannot understand the kids for not having a longing to be free from their parents/mother.
Pink kitty 7 months ago
Seems like these people have enmeshment trauma. So sad for everyone involved
Donna Peluda 7 months ago
My (m56) MIL used to leave small religious objects around our house to protect her daughter from evil, evil was me BTW. She'd find a cross in a jacket or a icono of a Saint ot virgen in a trouser pocket. MIL sloped religious iconography behind paintings. Like all religious bigots she was a mean horrible person.
Robin Roper 7 months ago
Anyone else notice how many of these are the men and their moms? Those mom's are crazy! I'm a mother of a son who is married and, d**n, I'm the best MIL in the world! If asked, I'll help with their laundry. If one doesn't feel well I call and ask if they need food. If asked I run errands for them. I keep their dog and feed their cats if need be. They both have allergies and if they ask I dust and vacuum their home. My DIL has massive food allergies and I adjust my meals so she always has food to eat when they come to our house. Interestingly, my son likes spending time with me; and it's not weird.
Binky Melnik 7 months ago
I’m wondering, aside from cultural differences, what the heck goes wrong with people that these icky things happen. I remember how I could not WAIT to leave home to be independent, and everyone I’ve ever been involved with was the same. What the hell kinda switch is flipped in some people that they end up in these gross relationships where they can’t do a damned thing without Mommy (or Daddy)? Where they compare everything to the way Mommy does it? Some of these were borderline sexual, even, and the first time I see that kinda behavior, I’ll be out of there! I want to be in a relationship with an adult, not a child! It appears some people are simply broken somehow thanks to Mommy (or Daddy, though I’m relieved that Daddy didn’t come up much in these stories). It always seems to be the opposite gender parent who’s the problem. (shiver!)
Load More Replies... Scott Rackley 7 months ago
"Girls won't date me" No s**t, they usually don't like children as partners.
T MB83 7 months ago
I dated this guy who was 40 and his mum lived 3 hours away like on a farm and every Friday after work we had to get a train, stay with her over the weekend and then come back on Sunday night to start work on Monday, like every single weekend this was expected, I started to go nuts because I had no time to do anything else, like even housework and laundry etc, when I brought it up with him like can we just not go EVERY weekend, he just went nuts, like I was this huge monster or something.
BarfyCat 7 months ago
I feel like a lot of these guys are actually being a b u s e d by their mothers. This list brought up a memory for me. I was 23 or 24 and had my first real, full-time job. In the same organization, different departments, a mother and a son worked. Mom started stiking up conversations with me, and I thought she was nice. When she proposed that we go to a nearby restaurant for lunch, I readily agreed. I was surprised to find that the son was also included in the lunch. It quickly became clear that she wanted me to date her son. He was very quiet and withdrawn, she did all the talking. I decided that sure, I can give him a chance, and agreed to go to lunch with him on a different day. Guess who showed up to that lunch...Mom. That was it for me and I avoided them for the rest of my time employed in that place!
ElfVibratorGlitter 7 months ago
My partner's mom just wants me to "give her a grandson" despite being 39... that's our major issue. I did pre-order her mother day flowers that I spent an hour+ picking out just for her...so we'll see if I somehow did that wrong or it's appreciated. 🤷🏻♂️
geezeronthehill 7 months ago
My late wife's mother (by all accounts a hateful woman) suffered an aneurysm and d i e d before we met. My mother d i e d in a farming accident 2 weeks after meeting my wife. So we never had mother in law problems. Helluva way to dodge the issue, but that's life.
Lene 7 months ago
As a mother I'm left here thinking: why the heĺl do these mothers not just leave their adult kids alone? But perhaps they made motherhood too big a part of their personality so they didn't know when to stop? Anyways, it was a very creepy post. I cannot understand the mothers for not letting their kids roam free and I cannot understand the kids for not having a longing to be free from their parents/mother.
Pink kitty 7 months ago
Seems like these people have enmeshment trauma. So sad for everyone involved
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