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People Share The Moments When They Realized Their Friend Is Not Their Friend Anymore
If you’ve managed to keep the same best friend for decades, you’re incredibly fortunate. Not everyone is lucky enough to have a bestie that stands by their side through thick and thin. And it’s not just about will power, as friendship is a two-way street. Both parties need to be thoroughly invested in the relationship, or it will eventually begin to crumble.
Redditors have been sharing stories of the nail in the coffin of some of their former friendships, so we’ve gathered their most heartbreaking tales below. While it’s never easy to experience a friendship breakup, it can teach a person valuable lessons and prevent them from experiencing even more pain in the future. So we hope you’ll learn something from these cautionary tales, and be sure to upvote the people that you believe are better off without their former “friends.”
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Drunkenly blamed my mother’s cancer on the Covid vaccine, on the day of her diagnosis. She used my family’s pain and fear to justify her conspiracy theory. Mom is fine now. I’ve been no contact with the friend for 4 years.
RELATED:
#2
He got sick with MS and got to the point of needing some help around the house. Was swapping out a overhead light for him. Needed a screwdriver and went to his shed to find one. I entered and discovered my missing stuff going back 40 years. Pellet gun from when we were 12. All my stolen fishing gear. All my deceased father's tools from my garage that I thought someone broke in to get...
Didn't even go back into the house. Just got in my car and left. Best friends from 8 years old to 50 years old. Never spoke another word to him.
Chich the witch 1 month ago
Original post says he took all his dad's tools.
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The Other Guest 1 month ago
There's a second comment on the original post saying that he did.
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Spittnimage 1 month ago
Well, your "friend" DID break in, just that you know him is the twist.
AnnwylTheBloodyLovesFerghus 1 month ago (edited)
You married him and you've stayed for 11 years! Why? You should either seek counseling and make peace with your life choices or find yourself a good divorce lawyer.
Load More Replies... #3
She gave up a foster child when she got pregnant saying that she would rather just “deal with her real child”. I could never look at her the same after that.
Drop Bear from Hell 1 month ago (edited)
I had a friend like that. She had a 13yo foster child, had him since he was a baby. The child begged her to adopt him - she refused for two reasons (WHICH SHE TOLD HIM TO HIS FACE) - your real mother is alive, and I refuse to be a 'substitute' and 'anyway, they pay me to keep you here - I'd lose income if I adopted you'. I was mortified for the child and for callousness of this 'friend'. When i left that day i never spoke to her again.
MeFromTheFBI 1 month ago
That makes me so freaking angry, I write a lot of stories and my main character in my main story is a foster kid, and I did research about foster kids, they have gone through hard times and need a parent
Tyranamar Seuss 1 month ago
My foster dad is awesome. Here's props to all the great foster parents! Not all people are like this. My own family, related by marriage, was much less accepting of me than total strangers. They claim to be "Christian." I know that's true by how hypocritical they are.
V 1 month ago
My cousin was infertile so her and her husband adopted a kid. Then had 6 naturally, lol. I think they forget their oldest is adopted sometimes, we never treated him any different as cousins. We have him as much sht as any of our other cousins.
Load More Replies... #4
My needy bff not taking a moment to listen after I went through a very violent and emotional trauma event. She talked about her husband not taking the trash bin to the curb.
So I kicked our friendship to the curb.
arthbach 1 month ago
There are times when we realise that what we thought was friendship was simply someone using us as a sounding board, or to talk at. With people like this, it doesn't matter how much we show up for them, they are not going to be there for us.
Mimi M 1 month ago
So freaking true. I just went through this with a friend who I thought was like my sister. Just not there when I needed her, couldn't even pick up the phone. My 'dearest friend'. It was gut-wrenching. So thanks for your comment.
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Jane Doe-Doe 1 month ago
Yeah my ‘friend’ only talked about herself, her children and her s*x life, she knew a bit about me but didn’t really care, I think we were friends for about 3 years
Trashy Panda 1 month ago
Some people listen and some people just wait for a break so they can talk
Crystalwitch60 1 month ago
This is why I don’t do people , well one reason , cos being around people like this is soul destroying isn’t it , op the trash taking itself out is very helpful lol, I hope lovely ur doing ok now x
#5
Covid. After 30 yrs of friendship She didn't accept that i got the vaccination because of her right wing blahblah.
Bored Jellyfish 1 month ago
I also gave up a friendship of a Covid denier. She really started going off the rails about it (AND she was a nurse). Just baffling.
Mike F 1 month ago
It's one thing when it's an idiot magat, a totally different thing when it's someone with a background in medicine.
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Alexia 1 month ago
Reminds me of my former friend. She is an antivaxxer and very vulnerable to ruzzian propaganda and conspiracy theories, because as she claims, she "has no time for fact-checking". Bonus: she's racist (and proud of it), homophobic, xenophobe and fat-shaming people (she's always been very slim). Still, she's educated, has her own business and traveled the whole world; I guess all these don't automatically make you a good person.
Kate Johnson 1 month ago
Sadly there are many braindead people out there. Add to the "to avoid" list.
#6
When I was diagnosed with BC and scheduled for a bilateral mastectomy, she told me that she’d rather not live than have a mutilated body like that. This was in 2017, and we’d been best friends since 1981.
S Bow 1 month ago
I had a mastectomy but don't consider myself "mutilated " . Reconstructive surgery is a thing. I'm thrilled to be alive and consider my myriad surgical scars to be evidence of victorious battles to stay alive and functioning.
Miss Ann Thrope 1 month ago
I recall a story about a woman who's husband was basically a jerk. She needed a double mastectomy. He told her if she did that, don't bother coming home. It was then she realized she had "a lot on her chest" and realized she needed to kick him to the curb.
Debby Keir 1 month ago
As a (retired) nurse, and have had BC (currently well) many people think like that....until it actually happens. Then you sit down and seriously consider - do I want to live, and make the best of my scars (Great tats these days) or do I just give in and say my beauty cannot be compromised, I shall die. It's a fatuous thing for a friend to say, but until YOU are in the situation, you rarely think deeply about it.
Zoe Vokes 1 month ago
I was assuming that. If she was in the same situation I doubt she would be so obsessed with putting her looks over her health
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Kate Johnson 1 month ago
I would have said well hopefully you'll die then instead of surviving.
#7
I became besties with a girl in third grade. Over the decades, we were so close that our families became enmeshed. Our parents, our siblings, everyone were like a big family because of the relationship my best friend and myself. The friendship ended abruptly in our late 30s.
For years, she would make jokes about how I wasn’t invited to her bat mitzvah back in seventh grade. Despite being besties, I didn’t know ANYTHING about her bat mitzvah until one Monday as we were getting dressed for gym class and a mutual friend walked over to the locker we shared. That person mentioned what a great time she’d had on Saturday, how good the food was and how fancy the country club was where this huge event took place.
My reaction was, basically, “HUH???”
I looked at my friend whose face had turned beet red. The other girl asked me why I didn’t come to the party, I said, “Um…I’m not sure.”
When she walked away my friend immediately explained that the invitations had been sent out months ago, right after we’d had a disagreement when we’d gone bowling. I actually had NO recollection of any such thing but I didn’t question it. Thirteen-year-old girls can be petty so it was possible that we’d had some sort of argument. It wasn’t out of the realm of possibility.
For many years, my friend made jokes about it, saying things like “Yum, this tastes like the appetizers we had at my bat mitzvah. Whoops. I forgot. You weren’t there.” Each time, I would laugh and say “Nope. I definitely wasn’t.” Once, in college, I made that sane joke about how I wasn’t in attendance at her big event but she snapped at me and told me stop joking about that. It seemed weird because SHE was the one who always made those jokes, not me. But…okay. No problem.
More years go by, we’re adults, we move to the same city on the opposite coast from where we grew up and we’re still besties. She asked me to be her maid of honor. I was thrilled. Her uncle was getting remarried a few months before her wedding. I went to the wedding and sat at one of the family’s reserved tables at the reception. Her mom was, clearly, tipsy when she comes over to where I’m sitting and asks if I’m having a good time. I said yes, of course, I was having a ball. Then she says, “So, do you, finally, forgive me for not allowing her to invite you to her bat mitzvah?”
I looked at her, quizzically, and said, “What? What do you mean?” Her mom’s mouth dropped open, indicating she realized she’d said something she shouldn’t have. I looked over at my friend who was avoiding eye contact with me. Finally, she said, “Okay, so now you know. My mom wouldn’t let me invite you because you’re black. She said you’d probably be uncomfortable there so it would be better if you didn’t come.”
I was very confused. While I was not Jewish, I grew up in neighborhood that was predominantly Jewish and, for quite a while during my teens, it felt like all I did was go to bar and bat mitzvahs on the weekends. Those were my classmates who invited me. Now, TWENTY FIVE YEARS LATER, I’m learning that the person who was closest to me on this planet not only hadn’t invited me because of my race but also invented an entire story to make me believe that somehow I’d played some sort of role in it. The bowling alley fight was a lie. A decade’s worth of jokes were created to reinforce this lie and brainwash me into believing it. Her mother, who I considered my second mom, was so afraid of having ME there at her synagogue, among her friends and relatives, that she blocked her daughter from inviting her best friend simply because of her skin color (yet, somehow, other kids who were Latino and Asian made the cut.)
I could feel tears start pouring down my face. I had to excuse myself so I could go cry in a bathroom stall. Truthfully, the bat mitzvah itself was not the worst part of it. IT’S THE QUARTER OF A CENTURY’S WORTH OF RELENTLESS LIES. Plus, finding out that her mom, who I was so close to, didn’t want me there. Why? Was she afraid I was going to steal someone’s purse or something? Did she believe having a little black girl there would decrease her social standing at the synagogue?
It took me an hour to get home. I cried the whole time. A few days later, I, finally, got a text from my friend. All it said was, “Why are you so mad? It was so long ago. It’s not like I could really tell you the real reason and make my mom look bad.” It felt like she was telling me I was being ridiculous and I should just get over it.
But the whole thing made me see everyone so differently after that. We just stopped talking after that. I tried to get her to just sit down with me and we could just talk it out. I wanted to express how I felt. She’d had 25 years to get comfortable with this whole thing. I’d had less than a week. But, via text, she told me she didn’t want to talk about anymore and we needed to move forward. (“Talk ANYMORE?? We still hadn’t talked AT ALL.)
Our friendship never recovered. My former friend shifted the blame, treating me like I was the one responsible for that, instead of her inability to sit down one-on-one and take accountability for the lies. My sister is still in touch with her. Her little brother is, occasionally, still in touch with me. But WE don’t have any contact with each other.
Bi.Felicia 1 month ago
Wow, sounds like OP was in a one way friendship, with someone who comes from a racist family and may very well be racist themselves, for far too long. I'm sorry OP wasted so many years of her life being close to this sad excuse for a human and her family and I'm glad she has gone NC with her former bff.
Binky Melnik 1 month ago
I’m not sorry for her; I’m sorry for the racist family so couldn’t love her because of the color of her skin. They’re the ones who Los out, not OP.
Load More Replies... Kate Johnson 1 month ago
So BF was always a user and a bigot and finally got found out. What a POS. Glad OP quit wasting her time on that low quality person.
Nina Soltwedel 1 month ago
Yes, this will hurt for a long time to come. Be as strong as you can, and know that there are many of readers of this post who "stand with you".
Trashy Panda 1 month ago
As a Jew, I've always been disgusted by racism within my community. We are historically victims too, so to victimize another race is hypocrisy at its worst. We say "never again" but we don't mean it for other people. Add to that the ethnic cleansing in Palestine and you know why I don't consider myself Jewish anymore.
Billie Jackson 1 month ago
I could feel your pain reading this. I also had a close friend...so close our families became close...mothers were best friends. In the last couple of years of high school, I was dropped like a hot rock, as my friend chose to hang with a more popular group. Very hurtful...I thought we were like sisters. She married a man almost 20 years older...he was already established in business and can give her the lifestyle she craved. I hope she's happy, but I have no desire to see her again.
KatSaidThat 1 month ago
TL/DR version - mother didn't let OP go to bar mitzbah because she was a racist p***k.
#8
Asked him to be in my wedding 9 months in advance. He said he had to work.
Littlemiss 1 month ago (edited)
I lost a friend from turning down being a bridesmaid. I would have been almost 9 months pregnant and due to give birth by her wedding. Plus being broke AF I couldn't afford to fufil anything (flights, hotels etc and a newborn in the mix) unfortunately. I gave birth before her wedding and had a sick prem baby. It was the beginning of the end of our friendship sadly. I had to put my health and the baby before her. She took offense at that.
StrangeOne 1 month ago (edited)
I always thought bridesmaid were supposed to be symbolic, by the bride's side at the wedding ceremony, and usually being the closest women to the bride. Maybe fluff up her dress, carry her train. Little stuff like that. Never would have imagined carrying the responsibilities of large expenses and putting all other life aside just for a demanding, spoiled bride. Couple planning weddings should be way more considerate of family and friends.
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Rafael 1 month ago
Plot twist, it was their obstetrícian after finding out this was a s*****n marriage!
The Other Guest 1 month ago
Plot twist, BP censored your comment so now I don't know what the plot twist is...
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#9
We’re both photographers. I found my photos on his professional website with his watermark on them. He was trying to sell them as his own. I was done with him, forever.
Bi.Felicia 1 month ago (edited)
I hope you at the very least called him out for theft and fraud, if not reported it to the proper authorities. What a total scûmbàg.
The Other Guest 1 month ago
I clicked the link; apparently the guy was sent a cease & desist letter, however OP's sister found yet another of OP's photos on the guy's website, watermarked & all.
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#10
The person I thought was my best friend never told me she was engaged - her fiance told me, a year after he asked, and was shocked I didn't know. I started paying attention to a lot more of how we interacted - I was always supporting her, checking in with her to see if she was good, etc.... it was one sided. She didn't care about if I was good, so I stopped caring too.
#11
I was always there whenever they wanted to yap about their ahole boss or regarding anything but when I got really depressed and just wanted someone to talk to, they said I was acting and seeking attention. I stopped talking to them after that.
Kate Johnson 1 month ago
Some people are just users. They are never there for you, they just want you to service them.
Michael Largey 1 month ago
Seeking attention is neither good nor bad. It depends on why you want it and what you're going to do with it.
#12
I let her bf live in our beautiful remodeled apartment rent free, allowed him to turn what was supposed to be our make up room into a gaming room, never complained about them taking up the common areas, washer dryer 24/7, kitchen. one day they woke me up at 2am fighting (hearing her sobbing and yelling at him to leave her alone and get out) after knowing i'm up at 6am for work. i kicked him out of the apartment and she took his side.
Natalia 1 month ago
The other person making noise lives there, you can't just kick people out of their own home!
Load More Replies... #13
Nothing. We just don't talk anymore.
They meant more to me than I ever meant to them.
I wish we'd had a fight or something, honestly. It would hurt less.
Jeff Wilk (2x3 Heroes) 1 month ago
Oh so much this. It's equal parts frustrating and anger. You question what you did wrong and then obsess over the person you are.
Robyn Hill 1 month ago
This. I had what I thought was a great group of friends, but realized finally that I was the one who was always coordinating our get-togethers, and they would bail with no warning if “something better “ came up. When I got a different job, they started getting together without me, telling me that I could just leave work if I wanted to see them. Bear in mind that we were all in our 30s-50s at this point. I finally gave up. It was exhausting chasing after people who clearly didn’t care.
Upstaged75 1 month ago (edited)
I'd been best friends with someone since the 5th grade. Even though we grew up and lived in different states she always came back here for the holidays and we'd get together. I was a bridesmaid when she got married. And we'd be sure to text/send b-day gifts. About 3 years ago she didn't bother to get in touch when she was in town. And then she didn't acknowledge my b-day. At that point I felt like I had been holding up the relationship and I wanted to see what would happen if I didn't bother to make the next move. Which resulted in 2 years of radio silence. Oh well. 🤷♀️ Last year we turned 50 and she sent me a text. I didn't respond to it, but sent her a brief text on her 50th. I honestly just don't have the bandwidth anymore. We'll see if she makes an effort at Xmas this year. It hurts, but I have other friends who seem to care more.
Paulina 1 month ago
I'm so sorry this is happening to you! If you can, cut it off - it hurts more to still be waiting and wondering, than to forget about a person.
Load More Replies... Billie Jackson 1 month ago
I hear you! Had a similar friendship...after 50+ years, still hurts.
#14
I traveled 800 miles to hang out and he spent the entire time working on his busted computer .
Nina 1 month ago
Driving 800 miles to hang out is a bit different than having someone over that lives a block away. It requires planning, because you don't drive that far to 'see if they're at home to hang'. If you can't give someone your attention when you've planned to meet like the post above, you suck.
Load More Replies... #15
I finally got pregnant after many, many years of infertility and IVF. She stopped talking to me because it was taking her over a year to have her third child and my pregnancy success was “ill-timed and rubbing it in her face.”.
#16
I was always the Helper. The one who listened, the one who got called when they needed something built or furniture moved, the one who gave time, money, and sympathy any time it was needed.
The one and only time I was having a serious struggle and asked for help, I was told, quote, "I don't have time for your problems."
When I cut them out of my life, they told everyone I know that I was a horrible person.
I lost a LOT of people that I thought I could count on.
I'm better off now than I have been in years.
#17
I was always there for her during everything but realised she never once just checked in with me or rang or messaged just to chat or say hello or ask about any of my family it was always constant need for her attention it was so draining I had to cut contact.
Felice Coles 1 month ago
I believe it's called an "energy vampire." S***s the life right out of you.
#18
I wanted to bond with his girlfriend so invited her over for a girls night. She vented about how toxic he was, I was horrified so I offered her a safe place to stay. Then she twisted the story, telling everyone I interfered in their relationship and I lost the entire group of friends. They chose his side and her story because they knew him longer. I had known them for 4 years at that point and we had a weekly dnd group. They are still together. I was married btw but she made it sound like I wanted him. Still hurts.
Lyone Fein 1 month ago
I wonder if it was a set up from the start. Like maybe she was jealous of your friendship with him and was trying to create a wedge?
#19
I noticed a pattern of asking for me to buy things, drive places, etc. Never repaid or anything towards trips or anything.
Felice Coles 1 month ago
So OP was the ATM, always ready with the funds. Oh, don't want to pay anymore? Buh-bye! "Friend" needs a new cash machine!
#20
Screamed angrily, "Sometimes I swear to god you're Autistic!"
I'm not and it would be fine if I am.
Stardust she/her 1 month ago
People keep calling me autistic as an insult because I’m too slow or because when playing games I tend to make bad choices. Someone even called me the r word and it genuinely hurts. Even my own mom called me autistic for a while and then after I genuinely felt awful about myself told me that it was a joke
azubi 1 month ago
I'm not a native speaker, so I'm a little afraid of messing words up, but I sympathise and would like to send you a hug.
Load More Replies... StrangeOne 1 month ago (edited)
My friend had called me a b***h while she was at my place for our usual weekend sleepovers. I had just had a shower, and changed into fresh clothes. I can't remember what else she said, nor know the reason. Even at that time. She got upset with me a lot over just me doing my own thing. We would go to the mall. I was more interested in window shopping, checking out Nectar, The Body Shop, Cricklewood, Chapters. She wanted to chase and flirt with boys. There was a guy she was eyeing, trying to get his attention, acting like she was hottest thing in town, following him around like a stalker. She told me to find him in a store and tell him he's cute or something. I kinda did. I went in, then got lost in my own world, looking at stuff. She got so mad that I didn't go up to him. The more I think about it, she didn't really like me. Last time I was invited to her place it was for an It Works MLM party. First "reunion" in about 19 years. Even did the "Oh if you don't mind, I have a party firstm but we can catch up after." Her husband snapped at me for talking to her in the kitchen, and she scuttled me off to the bus stop, never invited back to her place, again. She never contacted me again. I think I was only invited to fulfill her MLM agenda.
#21
I spent about 4K being her maid of honour (hosted bridal shower, dress, makeup & hair, wedding gift etc.) and after her wedding she ghosted me. She married into a very toxic family, her husband is controlling and she followed his lead and cut off most if not all of her friends that she obtained prior to him or ones that were not his friends. Her mom and my mom were best friends since they were young teenagers; she and I are the same age and were also best friends our whole lives. As soon as she tied the knot I no longer existed.
Huddo's sister 1 month ago
A controlling husband often forces his wife to cut ties with her closest friends and family, so he can maintain control (and often so they don't discover the a***e). I don't think this is all her fault.
StrangeOne 1 month ago
Nope, but she can get herself out by going to a women's shelter. Better before the kids come along.
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Lukas (he/him, it/its) 1 month ago
Added context that BP left out: "Recently my mom died, and ex bestie came to a viewing to pay respects. She suggested we get together sometime, presumably to reconnect. I smiled and said that’d be great and never contacted her, and she didn’t bother to contact me either."
StrangeOne 1 month ago
That was probably her only moment she was allowed to have contact with OP. Highly doubt her husband would have allowed her to have a get-together. Mind you, the husband must work and OP must have some time away from him at some point.
Load More Replies... Jaya 1 month ago
This is so sad. The friend may not have a choice in this, abúsers can have a control over their partners that is difficult to understand if you've never experienced it yourself.
StrangeOne 1 month ago
If the OP had no contact with her friend right after she married, then OP would have known how bad the situation her friend was getting into, if OP knows the husband is controlling and his family is toxic. Instead of blowing all that money on her friend and her wedding, she should have warned her friend of the bad situation she was getting into.
Tyranamar Seuss 1 month ago
So your very good friend is in an a*****e relationship and you abandoned her?
#22
I fronted the costs for our tickets to an event I wasn't interested in, because she wanted to go. She promised to pay me back. She drove us there, it was about an hour away.
Afterward, she wanted to go to an after party at a bar with some of her friends I had never met before. I was underage, didn't even have a fake ID, but no one was carding. She promised not to drink, because she drove us. I bought a drink, then two. Vodka Redbull, because I had no idea what to order and someone near me chose it. She ditched me pretty early on, and I was just sort of stuck in limbo. I tried to find her a few times, but she was never very interested in talking to me, so eventually I found a seat and played a game on my cell phone and nursed another drink. Hoped no one had the bright idea to try to card me (technically, I wasn't allowed to even be in there).
Not long before closing time, someone I went to middle school with saw me, asked me if I was there with her (they had seen her earlier and knew we were friends), and tried to help me find her. We couldn't find her. I remembered lingering outside the bathroom hoping she would be the person to come out next.
Anyway, the bar closed and they kicked everyone out. I was freaking out. She was not outside. She was not answering her phone. I wanted to leave, but she was my ride. The girl I went to middle school with offered to let me sleep over and take me home in the morning, but I had her keys and stupidly felt obligated to return them so she wouldn't be stranded.
I was crying and talking to my parents on the phone. They would have picked me up, but again, home was an hour away, so I would have been stuck sitting outside in downtown at 2 AM, in 40°F weather. I considered taking an Uber, but I felt super vulnerable and panicky, and the idea of being stuck in a car with a stranger for an hour... no thank you.
Right around that time, she finally answered her phone. Turns out she had run into her ex-boyfriend, followed him across the street, and was in his car, presumably begging him to take her back. He had blocked her on all social media and everything, so this was the only way she could talk to him.
She was actually angry about the interruption.
I let her drive me home, which I regret. She was drunk and should not have been driving, but I didn't know what else to do. A friend of hers followed us in his car to make sure we arrived safely. We did, by some miracle. Probably because the roads were empty at 2 AM.
Anyway, I probably would have forgiven all that, to some degree. People do dumb stuff at that age. They do even dumber stuff when they're drunk and don't know what a healthy relationship is.
But the thing that sticks in my head still, every time she texts me happy birthday or whatever, is that she never bothered to pay me back the $60 event ticket. Even after I asked more than once.
Sara Frazer 1 month ago
Personally I think that the person who was DD (designated driver) and promised that they wouldn't drink, then went back on that and proceeded to drive me around drunk, would bother me more than a ticket. Y'all could've díed
Jean White 1 month ago
I was a bartender and I saw exactly this scenario play out..one death and surgery for years for the other victim.
Load More Replies... StrangeOne 1 month ago
I would have totally taken up the school friend's offer of staying at their place and letting them drive me home in the morning. It would be a better sure way I wasn't stranded or getting into an unsafe situation.
KatSaidThat 1 month ago
It would be the drink driving that would have ended that friendship for me.
#23
Her kid was bullying mine. Her excellent (aka helicopter) parenting made it our fault. I don’t want friends like her.
#24
When I announced how happy I was to finally have $10,000 in savings after ruining my life from a gambling. And then a week later being told I was a selfish jerk cause I wouldn’t give him a $5,000 loan to fix the third luxury car he bought that year.
Brian Droste 1 month ago
Never tell friends or family how much money you have. they will ask to "borrow" it. You will never get it back.
Michael Largey 1 month ago
"Loan you money? But you know I've put reckless gambling behind me."
#25
Did not tell me she was going to get married, invited all her other friends and I had to find out about it through a friend in common’s insta story.
#26
She outed me as gay when I wasn't ready, I forgave her after a bit, and then she stopped talking to me because her fiance demanded that she did.
Stardust she/her 1 month ago
My ex friend outed me to the entire class even when I told her not to tell anyone. Because of that almost everyone treated me weirdly and she still doesn’t understand why I’d be upset
Liz Rutherford 1 month ago
My friend's BIL outed him at church. A very conservative church. That was 25+ years ago. Guess who still doesn't speak to his BIL...
#27
Had a friend that I shared my lunches with when he didnt have, stayed at my house when times were tough, we were friends for over a decade. Over time I noticed he would keep my as a backburner, seldom if ever having me around his other friends. One day, I was at the mall, and i ran into him woth his girlfriend and her cousin. We briefly chatted and then he said he was going to hang with the girls (I hadnt asked to hang or come along) ....and that was it. I felt like he was embarrassed by me. Im not perfect, I can be weird, but I was always (at least I think) a loyal supportive friend.
I find at 43 I still have few friends, and those I do have dont seem to truly understand me. Guess I got a bit OT here. Thanks for reading anyone that did.
Saltypepper 1 month ago
I was always the "last resort friend " the one they called when there was no one else always had to be my house would never talk to me at school or if they seen me anywhere with their real friends bece got invited to bday parties no one ever came to mine but I took it cause it's all I had even now as an adult I can't really tell if someone really likes me or is truly my friend or not I never had a real friend growing up I don't know what one is b, it still hurts all these years later.
Dilly Millandry 1 month ago
I'm truly sorry Saltpepper. Wish I had something better than just simple sympathy to offer.
Load More Replies... Jenny Laakso 1 month ago
Same. I have my own personality, not the accepted one at that moment.
#28
I ended a friendship of ten years because her loser husband kept cheating and she would blame the other women and become obsessed with them then accuse them of stalking her. It was way too toxic.
#29
My brother cut me out of his life. I apologized in the event I did or said something, he won't communicate with me at all. I drove 7 hours to show up at his house and plead with him to let me be a part of his life and he said sure, then when I left, he resumed no contact.
Finally I called saying I was coming to town and asked if I could buy him a meal and catch up with him. He said "no thanks".
After that I just deleted him from my phone, it hurt too much to even see his name.
Wendy Hamilton 1 month ago
It's not worth it. I went lc/nc with one of my sisters. She's extremely narcissistic and petty.
Lyone Fein 1 month ago
My sister has had mental health issues her entire life due to our a*****e parents. I am less than two years older than her, but for various reasons having to do with our parents own psychological problems my sister received the brunt of the physical a***e. She has always blamed me for this. And still does, more than 50 years later. Fortunately my own therapy journey helped me to recognize that: 1. I was also a****d in the situation. 2. I was just a child at the time, also terrified and struggling, like herself. 3. I am not responsible for the horrific actions of others, especially as I wasn’t in a position to protect her in any meaningful way. But my sister’s resentment of me is something she needs to resolve. Nothing I say will help with this. I am thinking that this may be similar for the brother above.
Jane Doe-Doe 1 month ago
Sorry but this one seems a bit fishy, OP must have done something REALLY bad imo
#30
She dumped me as her best friend for a girl that always hated me for no good reason.
I couldn’t understand how she could value someone that despised me for no other reason than ‘having my life together.’
We couldn’t move past it, she wouldn’t give her up and I couldn’t reconcile it.
It was like a painful divorce that took me years to get over. We were so close before that! It still hurts a little.
Jaya 1 month ago
You don't get to control who your friend can be friends with, even if it's with someone who can't stand you for no reason.
BeesEelsAndPups 1 month ago
Yes. This is a weird one. You can pick your friends, but you can't pick theirs.
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Kate Johnson 1 month ago
You can tell a lot about people by the company they keep. Sounds like you're better off without her in your life.
#31
She said my outfit was the ugliest thing she's ever seen. I ghosted her immediately. I bet she thinks I left her because of an outfit. It was years of toxic narcissistic behavior.
Hayhaypaula 1 month ago (edited)
You nailed it. Most of these "friends" were/are narcissists! They take and take, and give nothing back, because in their minds, they are the only important people in the world! The slander after you get wise, is a dead giveaway!
#32
I had a best friend triad in high school. One came out, the other didn't react well, and I sided with the one who wasn't a bigot.
#33
Hitting on my girlfriend on my birthday. That sucked.
#34
That she always had time for other friends and I would see it on social media. Meanwhile, my plans with her were usually “let’s play it by ear” and most of the time got cancelled. When I told her it hurt my feelings, she turned it around on me making herself look like a saint.
KatSaidThat 1 month ago
Me and my bff always getting cancelled on by X for money or health reasons. X earns 3 times what we do. We've tired of health b******t because if you can't make dinner with us, how are you suddenly going somewhere else? And the theatre next week. And Harry Potter thing. So we went out for dinner ourselves a couple of weeks ago, put it all over social media about what a f*****g AMAZING place and food it was. "Wish I could have come". Girl, you could have but you are no longer invited. Also X never called us. We should have realised she was ghosting us a lot sooner.
Jennik 1 month ago
Act without a definite plan in place - like playing a piece of music "by ear" rather than with a manuscript
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#35
It didn't matter what I did, she slept with my ex-husband behind my back, and then she told everybody, my deepest darkest secrets.
#36
I realized that I was anxious and stressed every time she came over because she ALWAYS had to be right…ALWAYS had to be the best…ALWAYS had to have better stories/worse problems. She was territorial, for lack of a better word, over me and rubbed all of my other friends the wrong way. I was spending my time keeping the peace instead of enjoying her company. That’s not friendship.
#37
One too many, "well, actually..." it gets exhausting after a while.
#38
She let her married boyfriend, who had just told her he was going back to his wife, publicly bully me after I called him out for his behavior. This was after she had the nerve to ask me if I was "on their team". Excuse me ma'am, he's not even on your team and I have a whole husband and family myself. That's my team.
Sara Frazer 1 month ago
Eew, I would've dumped that "friend" like the hot garbage she is the second I found out she was involved with a married man
Sue User 1 month ago
Jey, unveknowest to me, i almost ended up with a married man. He pursued me, was trying to make out in parking lot and wife shows up. Not that i like the exfriend but she may not havr known he was lying.
Load More Replies... Kate Johnson 1 month ago
IMO people who date others who are married are usually pretty low character people that are generally untrustworthy.
#39
Me, ex friend, and mutual friend were at ex friends house for dinner and game night, left to give our mutual friend a ride somewhere, came back to a locked door, no one home, her phone on do not disturb, and removed from the Life360 group. Never spoke to her (or anyone in that friend group) again but I’m still upset that I had left my dinner and belongings at her apartment and was never able to get back in to get them.
Did I say that out loud? 1 month ago
That's what I think about quite a few of these posts.
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Nuku Nyara 1 month ago
At least let her pack her dinner and take her DND belongings. DND supplies can be expensive.
#40
The realization that they only seemed to want us around to be an audience for their histrionics.
#41
Lack of follow through due to alcoholism. Was patient for many years and finally couldn't take it anymore. She forgot my birthday and hers is two days before mine. I went all out for her.
#42
3 of my friends have constantly given me non-committal answers when I asked them to hangout, the last straw was when I asked if they were free on a Saturday, and then next week they all talked about how they hung out together on Sunday.
It's been 8 months since one of them has been to my house, it's too bad my wife thinks I should keep giving them chances.
Saltypepper 1 month ago
You can only give someone so many chances before you realize that they aren't worth it and you deserve better and you're worth more don't waste your time on ppl who don't want you.dont let them live rent free in your head anymore either.
Michael Largey 1 month ago
Don't give someone another chance when they make it clear they don't want one.
Billie Jackson 1 month ago
Drop them...you'll feel better... take it from someone who's been there.
#43
Paid me four dollars for helping on a yard work job he probably received hundreds for.
Elizabeth Calef 1 month ago
Give him back the four dollars and say, "You obviously need the money more than I do. Besides, you can't afford my rates."
Load More Replies... #44
When they put my children in harms way, and asked what they could do to mitigate that risk.
#45
It was me, I split a year ago during a BPD episode and blocked her. I've tried to reach out but [understandably] I was left on read.
John Caldwell 1 month ago
If you don’t have it BPD it is so unimaginable to the rest of people,we have no control
Explore more of these tags
What do you think ?
Kevin Warren 1 month ago
I was working 40 hours a week while earning my PhD. The person I thought was my friend was a spoiled, entitled BRAT. At a party, she had the nerve to ask me in front our fried group if “I showered every day” because I looked run down. Well, I HAVE TO WORK FULL TIME and go to school while your rich family takes care of you. And, for the record, I did/do shower every day. B#TCH.
Stardust she/her 1 month ago
I used to face hours of traffic just to hang with my friends even if it came at a cost to me. They never bothered even once to meet at an in between spot and would twist it to make it seem like I was being selfish when I said I couldn’t do this anymore
Natalie Zayas Bazan 1 month ago
The bar mitzah one was weird. The mom was racist not the friend.
Ellinor she/they/elle 1 month ago (edited)
I don't talk to the group of 4 friends I had in High-School anymore (I'm soon to be 21 now but I finished High School at 17). I accepted a lot from them because we were roomates and I wanted them to like me. I stole chocolate in a store, I watched over them at parties when they were dr*gged and drunk, I paid for our vacation's groceries in equal splits even if they all had way more money and bought alchool and dr*gs that they knew I wouldn't take (so I basically paid for that and when I told them I was uncomfortable they got mad at me), I let one of them physically a*s@ult me just because my ex and her didn't like each-other and she was mad that I had dated him in the past (I know that's crazy). The moment I cut them off, was when they threw a fit over me spending time with my bestfriend. They wanted me to only be friends with them and that's when I said "f*ck it I had enough", I removed myself from our group-chat and stop talking to them (we were in our last year so we had solo rooms then).
Gary Katz 1 month ago
Here's one. A few years ago my wife's friend was flying out of town to attend a concert. She called her a few days before and said she had Covid. The day of the concert, she told my wife that she tested positive but was going to go ahead and fly to the event because she was feeling much better. My wife called her selfish, and that was the last time she spoke with her.
Gracie Mae 1 month ago
I took stock of my 'friends' at one point, and realized that I don't have any. "I" was the one that kept in contact. "I" was the one that tried to make plans. "I" was the one that suggested stuff to do. I understand life getting in the way, jobs being an issue, and having families, but when they can't be bothered to call me on the phone that is constantly in their hand,...it was a humbling moment. I don't reach out any more & I've stopped expecting so much from others. It's not worth the heartache and aggravation.
Liz Rutherford 1 month ago
Had a good friend for almost 10 years. She got jealous because I decided to start a relationship with my husband. After we got married, she started talking sh1t to my best friend, who was not having it. I was sad that she didn't come to the wedding, but as soon as I found out she was doing that, I cut her out. Her sister contacted me a few months ago saying that she had passed. Hope He!l is hot enough for her.
T'Mar of Vulcan 1 month ago
I had someone who lived a 2-hour plane ride from me, but we talked on the phone weekly and we'd discuss story ideas for our shared fandom. We'd then write the stories, either separately or together. It was a lot of fun. Then 2 things happened: I told her I liked slash (a type of fanfic that pairs up people of the same genital group) and the prevailing fan theory about a character on the show (that she liked girls - turns out it wasn't the case), and I got into a fandom she wasn't interested in. I'd tell her about my show and she'd just go, "Hmm." Whereas I had to constantly show enthusiasm for all her things. Then she started sending me articles about singers I'd never heard of who liked girls (I guess because I like Melissa Etheridge's music and slash, so I must like girls myself? I found that rude and presumptuous) and it was so confusing to me I just stopped interacting with her. At least I wasn't around for the drama when her husband cheated on her. Can you imagine the phone calls?
Tyranamar Seuss 1 month ago
So she tried to be supportive of you, bc you'd told her you like things where people of the same gender get together. And then you were mortally offended she sent you things about people who enjoy being s******y involved with people of the same s*x? Am I getting that right? Sounds like she was trying to understand you. And you, for some reason, were offended by that. W*F?
Load More Replies...
R Dennis 1 month ago
Trayvon Martin. He called him a thug even though he was a teen being stalked in the dark by an armed adult. I wrote him a long email about how I had been followed from work while walking to the bus at night several times (my skin color didn't match the area) and that I eventually started carrying a wrench to hit someone or throw at their car. He didn't respond then posted a racist meme.
Kevin Warren 1 month ago
I was working 40 hours a week while earning my PhD. The person I thought was my friend was a spoiled, entitled BRAT. At a party, she had the nerve to ask me in front our fried group if “I showered every day” because I looked run down. Well, I HAVE TO WORK FULL TIME and go to school while your rich family takes care of you. And, for the record, I did/do shower every day. B#TCH.
Stardust she/her 1 month ago
I used to face hours of traffic just to hang with my friends even if it came at a cost to me. They never bothered even once to meet at an in between spot and would twist it to make it seem like I was being selfish when I said I couldn’t do this anymore
Natalie Zayas Bazan 1 month ago
The bar mitzah one was weird. The mom was racist not the friend.
Ellinor she/they/elle 1 month ago (edited)
I don't talk to the group of 4 friends I had in High-School anymore (I'm soon to be 21 now but I finished High School at 17). I accepted a lot from them because we were roomates and I wanted them to like me. I stole chocolate in a store, I watched over them at parties when they were dr*gged and drunk, I paid for our vacation's groceries in equal splits even if they all had way more money and bought alchool and dr*gs that they knew I wouldn't take (so I basically paid for that and when I told them I was uncomfortable they got mad at me), I let one of them physically a*s@ult me just because my ex and her didn't like each-other and she was mad that I had dated him in the past (I know that's crazy). The moment I cut them off, was when they threw a fit over me spending time with my bestfriend. They wanted me to only be friends with them and that's when I said "f*ck it I had enough", I removed myself from our group-chat and stop talking to them (we were in our last year so we had solo rooms then).
Gary Katz 1 month ago
Here's one. A few years ago my wife's friend was flying out of town to attend a concert. She called her a few days before and said she had Covid. The day of the concert, she told my wife that she tested positive but was going to go ahead and fly to the event because she was feeling much better. My wife called her selfish, and that was the last time she spoke with her.
Gracie Mae 1 month ago
I took stock of my 'friends' at one point, and realized that I don't have any. "I" was the one that kept in contact. "I" was the one that tried to make plans. "I" was the one that suggested stuff to do. I understand life getting in the way, jobs being an issue, and having families, but when they can't be bothered to call me on the phone that is constantly in their hand,...it was a humbling moment. I don't reach out any more & I've stopped expecting so much from others. It's not worth the heartache and aggravation.
Liz Rutherford 1 month ago
Had a good friend for almost 10 years. She got jealous because I decided to start a relationship with my husband. After we got married, she started talking sh1t to my best friend, who was not having it. I was sad that she didn't come to the wedding, but as soon as I found out she was doing that, I cut her out. Her sister contacted me a few months ago saying that she had passed. Hope He!l is hot enough for her.
T'Mar of Vulcan 1 month ago
I had someone who lived a 2-hour plane ride from me, but we talked on the phone weekly and we'd discuss story ideas for our shared fandom. We'd then write the stories, either separately or together. It was a lot of fun. Then 2 things happened: I told her I liked slash (a type of fanfic that pairs up people of the same genital group) and the prevailing fan theory about a character on the show (that she liked girls - turns out it wasn't the case), and I got into a fandom she wasn't interested in. I'd tell her about my show and she'd just go, "Hmm." Whereas I had to constantly show enthusiasm for all her things. Then she started sending me articles about singers I'd never heard of who liked girls (I guess because I like Melissa Etheridge's music and slash, so I must like girls myself? I found that rude and presumptuous) and it was so confusing to me I just stopped interacting with her. At least I wasn't around for the drama when her husband cheated on her. Can you imagine the phone calls?
Tyranamar Seuss 1 month ago
So she tried to be supportive of you, bc you'd told her you like things where people of the same gender get together. And then you were mortally offended she sent you things about people who enjoy being s******y involved with people of the same s*x? Am I getting that right? Sounds like she was trying to understand you. And you, for some reason, were offended by that. W*F?
Load More Replies... R Dennis 1 month ago
Trayvon Martin. He called him a thug even though he was a teen being stalked in the dark by an armed adult. I wrote him a long email about how I had been followed from work while walking to the bus at night several times (my skin color didn't match the area) and that I eventually started carrying a wrench to hit someone or throw at their car. He didn't respond then posted a racist meme.
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