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With so much going on in the world every single day, even the most capable internet surfers out there need a break every once in a while. And there’s nothing like a fresh serving of funny memes to snack on while you catch your breath.
We’ve picked out some of the most hilarious and relatable memes shared on ‘Laughgorithm,’ an Instagram account that focuses on bringing a bit of humor into people’s lives. Scroll down to check out the wittiest memes you’ve seen all week… and don’t forget to spam your friend group chats with your favorites!
Meanwhile, Bored Panda also had a friendly chat with the curator of the account, and you'll find our interview with them below.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Suby 4 weeks ago
I don't even know what people do with that kind of money. I'd pay off my house and student loans, retire early, give $ to the relatives and friends who need it, buy a new car, maybe get a housekeeper - and then? I'd still have tons of money leftover and would end up donating it to worthy causes anyway. Once you have a certain amount of wealth, there is only so much you can do with it.
Jp@nda 4 weeks ago
Exactly, but after taking care of the necessary I would hire people to rehab a bunch of the old factories in Philly and turn them into apartments that I would fill with people who were homeless or on the brink of being homeless. Their jobs would be to take in animals from the shelter and be their caregivers for life and would be paid a living wage. It's not solving world problems but it would help some
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Nikki Sevven 4 weeks ago
I'd be nice and leave them with $100,000 startup capital. If they really are business geniuses, it shouldn't take them long to be wealthy again.
sbj 1 month ago
They'd have to give away a lot more of their money to be worthy of having a dog park named after them
Harlsen Chesterton 3 weeks ago
You do all know that billionaires don't just have the money sitting around in banks. Their net worth is calculated by taking into account all of their assets. When Elon Musk goes out to restaurant or shopping for a new pair of socks he doesn't pay for things with shares in X.
RELATED:
#2
Rick Murray 1 month ago
I'll even accept the odd scorch mark on the wall. Just, please, murrrderrrrr the bloody things!
TotallyNOTAFox 1 month ago
So what if I replace the laserpointer with one from a DVD burner and supply it with a bit more power?
Strahd Ivarius 4 weeks ago
If you have a cat and a device that put a red spot on mosquitoes, then soon you have no mosquitoes
#3
Bob Brooce 1 month ago
Even worse, the world may not treat you (much) worse if you're a horrible person.
Helena 4 weeks ago
You aren't a good person because of reciprocation. You good person so you can look yourself in the mirror without flinching.
TV Junkie 1 month ago
I always say that I have always been too nice, and it has not served me well.
The Majestic Opossum 4 weeks ago
Yes, but a world with more good people in it will treat each other better in return...
Child of the Stars 1 month ago
No, but if you're a good person who also enforces healthy boundaries, they'll mostly leave you alone.
Michael Largey 1 month ago
Also true if you're a horrible person who also enforces healthy boundaries. Probably truer.
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Gracie Mae 3 weeks ago
that you can't expect the same amount of love from others that you have for them, even if (or maybe especially if?) they're family
Laughter has an awesome, positive effect on both your body and mind. On top of that, it’s potentially great for your emotional welfare and social life, too. If anything, you should aim to laugh more often (with other people, too!), if possible. The quality of your health and life depends on it.
As UCLA Health points out, laughter:
- Improves your immune system
- Decreases stress
- Improves your heart health
- Relieves pain
- Supports mental health
#4
Lila Allen 1 month ago
You mean apart from the ban on CFC that still holds 20 years later, the discontinuation of pesticides with carcinogens, the new technology to clean oil spills, the new design of all tankers to prevent oil spills, the massive decrease in contaminated water, and the increase in the ozone layer....yeah apart from that it's not achieving anything.
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Michael Largey 1 month ago
World leaders going to conferences causes no serious problems. When they return home is when the trouble starts.
Rosecrucian Roeth 1 month ago
As is always the case where politicians are concerned............lots of talk and no action!
#5
#6
Nikolka 1 month ago
I want to be my cat, I know I would have a great time. ♥
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Eggwodd 1 month ago
It's a toss up between one of those Greek cats that lay in the sun all day vs. one who lives in a library.
LookASquirrel 1 month ago
Well, there was a library cat that got evicted in Fredericksburg, TX. Maybe a bookstore or bodega cat?
Load More Replies... BoredPangolin 1 month ago
When I was a child I wanted to be an adult. When I became an adult I loved it. Then I had kids and I want to be an adult again.
When you laugh, your body increases the production of immune cells and antibodies in your blood, UCLA Health explains. This means that your defenses against germs and infections are stronger, meaning you live an overall healthier life.
What’s more, laughter decreases the amount of cortisol in your system. It’s estimated that a single session of laughter, regardless of length or the reason behind it, can reduce the levels of this stress hormone by a whopping 37%. This is vital because chronic stress speeds up aging and leads to inflammation, which then increases the risk of heart disease, diabetes, and other chronic illnesses.
#7
Ripley 1 month ago
The drink measured in oz and the sugar measured in grams is doing my head in a little bit. Just use metric! Also, now I want doughnuts.
Ace 1 month ago
It's written like that only because those are standard size containers in the US. But I was just checking to see how much they are and discovered for the first time that not only is a US pint 16 fl oz instead of 20, which I knew, but that the fluid ounce measure itself is not the same either. I first thought, yeah, that's a (UK) pint bottle, odd size, but when I converted to ml it gave me 591 point something, which looked wrong, cos it is, would be 568ml in a UK pint.
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Bob Brooce 1 month ago
The only reason I'd eat 6 donuts at once is if I want to save 6 for tomorrow.
Rick Murray 1 month ago
Only 65g of sugar in six doughnuts? I guess I'll take a seventh then... 😂
JL 1 month ago
Would I eat 6 donuts? That question is no longer hypothetical. When they are Krispy Kremes hot off the line, 6 is only an appetizer.
Pollywog 1 month ago
Mmmmmmm.....🤤 I've had Krispy Kremes hot off the line!!! Yummy for my tummy!!
Load More Replies... Harlsen Chesterton 3 weeks ago
The issue with eating 6 donuts would be the fat rather than the sugar. Most of us would agree that drinking a bottle of Coke every now and again is OK, therefore in terms of sugar intake eating 6 donuts every now and again would also be OK. But the problem is the fat of which Coke has none. Coca-Cola could put out a poster in which they point out that 6 donuts has 50g of saturated fat but coke has none and it would be just as misleading as the original poster.
#8
Serena Myers 1 month ago
And if you're an introvert and a pluviophile (someone who loves rain, just in case BP clutches their collective pearls in horror) being at home and watching a good thunderstorm through the window is just this side of heaven.
Kenny Kulbiski 1 month ago
If you believe BP all introverts are cave dwelling mutes.
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#9
Child of the Stars 1 month ago
"When I was 14, my father was the stupidest man alive. By the time I turned 21, it was amazing how much he'd learned." Mark Twain (supposedly)
UnclePanda 1 month ago (edited)
"The older I get, the wiser my parents become." ~ anon. UnclePanda's corollary, "But the older they get, the stupider they become, so it's mostly a matter of timing."
Load More Replies... Regular laughter is also great for your heart health and reduces the risk of heart disease or stroke.
“Every time you laugh, your heart rate and respiratory (breathing) rate increase. As a result, your heart beats stronger and faster, sending more oxygenated blood throughout the body. The improved circulation reduces the risk of heart disease,” UCLA Health notes.
#10
setsuriseikou 1 month ago
I wasn't even craving anything before I read your comment, and now I want chips. Thanks, Lotekguy.
Load More Replies... Child of the Stars 1 month ago
Once, during a particularly difficult depressive episode, I googled "healthy depression foods." It popped us with things like cottage cheese and precut veggies. Now I keep a supply of depression food in my fridge at all times. It's helped me manage my symptoms, lose a few pounds, and even cut back on cigarettes.
moggiemoo 1 month ago
Anything that helps you cut back on cigarettes is a win. I could never find anything.
Load More Replies... Rick Murray 1 month ago
I'm *not* going to buy a ready meal because they're not good. [fast forward five hours] Rick is looking at all the food in the larger... but there's nothing to eat! Nothing at all! [translation: it requires *so* much more effort than opening a corner and setting the microwave to three minutes therefore it doesn't exist]
Rick Murray 1 month ago
My answer to this is a family sized pack of McCain chips in the freezer. I think I can manage to toss some of them into the air fryer for ten minutes of intense roasty. 😉 My main problem is that I don't tend to remember to eat until it's like ten o'clock and by then I'm kind of tired. Apparently it's an ADHD thing, but whatever, I had a nice bowl of linguine earlier *because I set an alarm* for 7pm that told me to get up off my årse and go make it. And another for half seven because I knew I'd get sidetracked by something. I did, it did, my life in a nutshell... 😪
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Child of the Stars 1 month ago
I'm just excited for my upcoming interview for a job that's $4000/month.
Blackmoon The Dragon 1 month ago
7500 a month would be 90k, which would be around 30k higher than the median average salary in the US....
Lukas (he/him, it/its) 1 month ago
I'm at 900 a month right now, even a one time payment of 7,500 would absolutely change my life
BeesEelsAndPups 1 month ago
I'm sorry, what do you do that's paying you $900/month? An average work month is about 160 hours, so that comes to about $5.63/hour, which is well below the mandated minimum wage in most english speaking countries. Even in the United States it's $7.25/hour. I could see why a single payment of $7500 would be such a big deal. It's three quarters of your yearly income.
Load More Replies... Rick Murray 1 month ago
Could I survive on six and a half grand (in euros) a month? *Survive*? That's several times what I make in a month, and I'm getting by. [disclaimer: being an introvert with zero social life and no vices beyond being rather fond of Mars bars means that my outgoings aren't that big - in fact one of my biggest expenses outside of the usual electricity/phone/insurance/etc is...cat food!]
Oskar vanZandt 1 month ago
If USD $7500(£5750.-) I definitely could... Especially if I didn't have to work for it.
#12
Ace 1 month ago
Yes, which is why it annoys me so much how hard it is to find unscented anti-perspirant. I don't want to just overlay perfume on top of body odour, I want to stop the body odour from developing at all.
Load More Replies...Moreover, laughter also lowers your blood pressure. This happens because it reduces the amount of stress hormones in your system. The latter work by restricting your blood vessels and adding tension to your heart.
Laughter, whether spontaneous or achieved via laughter therapy, is good for pain relief as well. Laughing increases your pain tolerance, changes your perception of what’s happening to you, and stimulates the release of feel-good chemicals, endorphins, which are your body’s natural painkillers.
#13
Mark Alexander 1 month ago
I can't believe p**p is censored. What if I want to talk about p**p decks?
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Lotekguy 1 month ago
Take it into a room with soft surfaces. Too much echo effect in the kitchen.
Yvonne Dauwalder Balsiger 1 month ago
Unfortunately, I don't have a padded cell at home but I sure could use one
Load More Replies... Ghostchaplain16 1 month ago
I always try to wait until my wife's asleep, and then slip into the kitchen to sneak a snack. Imagine my face when I see the only snack is safely tucked under these evil creations. Heavy metal musicians make less noise than these do at night.
The Majestic Opossum 4 weeks ago
I swear a jet engine would be quieter at 2am... Just let me eat my shame cake in peace!!
#15
And all of this on top of the fact that laughter can reduce anxiety, depression, and stress symptoms, leading to more positive mental health outcomes. For one, when you laugh, your body releases chemicals like dopamine, oxytocin, and endorphins, which are linked to pleasure, motivation, and learning.
What’s more, when you laugh alongside other people, it helps you connect with them. It also fosters a feeling of belonging. Because human beings are social animals, and a big part of our health, happiness, and longevity is linked to positive, strong relationships, it only makes sense that you look for ways to foster those social connections. Finding something to laugh at together is one way to do this.
#16
#17
Luke Branwen 1 month ago
If I met a perfect girl I wouldn't give a d@mn if she communicated through smoke signals
Hello_my_name_is_Genevieve 1 month ago
I'm on the bus looking at this with a really old phone right now😆
Michael Largey 1 month ago
And you're on a bus - reducing fossil fuel use, air pollution, global warming, and traffic jams.
Megalodon Meg 1 month ago
All great things that should be admired but they're also a shallow a*****e. Applaud the good but call out the bad with it.
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Rick Murray 1 month ago
Could be that he is making enough money that he doesn't need to buy some no-hope Chinese Android clone with hardware that's five years out of date. But this person would cast that, and him, aside for some utterly irrational dislike of... a phone? I'd say score that as a win for the guy, to be honest, Brenduhh sounds like more problems than it's worth having.
Sam Trudeau 1 month ago
I got critiqued for my phone a few times. I just told the guy "Yeah, but the phone still works fine". Ironically, it was only next year that the phone refused to turn on for good
#18
Ace 1 month ago
I love a similar one that Billy Connolly joked about many years ago "I'll take my hand off your face".
LakotaWolf (she/her) 1 month ago
Parents. They chose to have kids, the children didn't choose to be conceived/born XD
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Tony Dunne 1 month ago
The ultra rich are pulling off the perfect scam. Blame others for the sad state of the economy. That way we can sit by the pool, pay next to nothing in taxes, review my list of political donations, sip champagne and count my bitcoin. The ultimate investment allowing me to scam evn more money from society.
If you feel like you’re not laughing enough, you can be very intentional about scheduling more time for humor in your routine. Remember that, even though spontaneous laughter is lots of fun, you get the positive effects when you force yourself to laugh, too.
Looking at funny and relatable memes aside, you need to develop the habit of laughing more.
For instance, you could try to reframe some of the negative things that happen to you in a more positive light, looking for that silver lining. You should also consider scheduling actual laugh breaks per day, where you intentionally watch funny videos, shows, or standups, talk to your funniest family and friends, etc. Furthermore, you could try going to a laughter yoga session so that you’re in a more social setting (and also introduce more exercise into your life).
#19
Sam Trudeau 1 month ago
Similar, there's articles that USA is trying to use AI a lot more. Meanwhile, they're concerned about immigrants taking jobs.
The Majestic Opossum 4 weeks ago
It's true. My husband turned 40 this year and has already turned into Red Foreman (That 70s Show) in less than a year.
Pseudonym For An Author 1 month ago
Can we PLEASE draw the line at things that don’t actually have feelings?
LakotaWolf (she/her) 1 month ago
Guess my mom shouldn't have been allowed to get married (or have kids, for that matter) XD
Load More Replies... TotallyNOTAFox 1 month ago
Honestly, marrying a clanker will absolutely become a thing at some point
Rick Murray 1 month ago
My "hidden" comment here is a link to an article in The Guardian about people who *have* married AI chatbots. So....
Load More Replies... #20
Serena Myers 1 month ago
"If you turn right where the old barn used to be, then take a left where Mrs Higgins's cottage was...." yes, I have experienced this in real life!
Robyn Hill 1 month ago
Literally used to give directions to my house that ended with, “if you drive past the big red barn, you’ve gone too far.”
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Never Snarky 3 weeks ago
It’s on the street where your grandmother lived when you were a little kid. For real.
#21
Jan Rosier 1 month ago
hmm, think I know what to make for dinner, a thick, well filled omelette. Some leftover potatoes, diced bacon, tomatoes, mushrooms, onion... so now I can think about that for another three hours before I get home
BeesEelsAndPups 1 month ago
You just need a well buttered pan. Doesn't even have to be non-stick. In fact I prefer a ceramic pan for cooking. Put the butter in the pan before the eggs, and let the butter melt around. Make sure the heat isn't so high you burn the butter. Then add the egg, and let it cook slowly. When it's ready to fold, slide it to the edge of the pan, and use a silicon spatula to fold it over. Don't use metal on ceramic pans, you'll scratch it up. And don't use plastic on food, especially hot food. Also, if you are adding greens like spinach, cook them down in a separate pan, or before your eggs. Otherwise they dump water into your omelette and that's just gross.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 1 month ago
I've actually got a Japanese-style omelet pan (tamagoyaki pan) and it works wonders for making tiny rolled omelets XD I still do butter the pan beforehand and let it melt down, and then I cook the eggs on low and make sure the bottom is well-solidified before I start to flip/fold.
Load More Replies... Oskar vanZandt 1 month ago
Nothing wrong with a scrambled omelette... I make something I like to call "a dog's breakfast": dirty scrambled eggs- 3 eggs, tomato, ham, cheese (or whatever combo I've got the ingredients for).
KatWitch57 3 weeks ago
Or a 'dustbin omelette' with everything hanging around unclaimed in the fridge goes in.
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Foxglove🇮🇪 1 month ago
I cured this. Once you've poured your eggs in the pan, leave them alone - don't stir. Once the bottom has set, put the pan under a hot grill to cook the top. Perfect every time!
Huddo's sister 3 weeks ago
I was taught to cook omelette in a pan until it is only slightly wet on top, then finish it by putting pan under the griller (I think Americans call it a broiler?). No need to flip.
zigzaglette 4 weeks ago
I don't even bother flipping omelets anymore. After my ingredients cook and I add my eggs, I put the pan in the oven with the broiler on low. The broiler gently cooks the top and the residual heat from the pan finishes cooking the bottom. Once it stops jiggling, I add my cheese, let the broiler melt my cheese and then fold. The omelet stays nice and fluffy and plops out on a plate easy peasy.
SchadenFreudian Psychology 1 month ago
Keep the heat fairly low and give it time. Don’t get impatient. A former roommate of mine taught me this.
Verywell Mind adds that because laughter is contagious, when you go to funny movies or comedy clubs with your friends, you’re more likely to laugh than if you go alone. It adds that faking your laughter is a decent strategy. At least until you get into the habit of finding more humor in your everyday life.
“Just as positive effects of smiling occur whether the smile is fake or real, simulated laughter also provides benefits. The body can't tell the difference. Plus, simulated or self-initiated laughter turns into genuine laughter over time. So, smile more and fake laughter if you need to at the beginning. You'll still achieve positive effects, and the fake merriment may lead to real smiles and laughter.”
#22
UnclePanda 1 month ago
I'd laugh but I need to go check the scanner first. Odds are there's something sitting there.
BookFanatic 1 month ago
Had a woman leave her passport, drivers license, and her social security card in the library's copy machine. She was so confused when we called her to let her know.
#23
Doug Moyer 1 month ago
I was trimming my pup and my exwife suggested that we use the clippers to do my hair. She started and immediately said, 'woops'. What? What do you mean 'woops'?
Huddo's sister 3 weeks ago
At least the funds from those dog money boxes goes to a good cause.
#24
Harlsen Chesterton 3 weeks ago
I just took it to mean he's been divorced or bereaved at least twice.
Rob D 1 month ago
Enough downvoting guys. You know the username. At this point it's bullying. Enough. Downvoting
Load More Replies...The ‘Laughgorithm’ account currently boasts just shy of 72k followers on Instagram. The account, which has been amusing netizens for the past half a decade, since late 2020, describes itself as the “realm of pure comedy gold” and says that it offers the “ultimate daily dose of laughs from your algorithm.”
The founder of 'Laughgorithm' opened up about the history behind their Instagram meme account.
"I've been running a memes account since 2016, and my first page name was 'Sadidas,'" they told Bored Panda. They added that, unfortunately, their first account eventually got banned.
However, the content creator then pivoted and made 'Laughgorithm.' They put a lot of thought into the name of the account. They thought that, since their purpose is to make people laugh, they wanted to combine the words 'laugh' and 'algorithm' into one.
"That's how I came up with the name," they said. According to the curator, they choose memes by running them through their personal filter: if the meme makes them stay and laugh, they upload it to their Instagram account.
#25
#26
Ghostchaplain16 1 month ago
You would think I could pass by that same door handle just once without hooking it, but NO-O-O! Every time I choose to entertain others by losing my grip on my coffee, dropping the sandwich I just made or tearing the new shirt I was trying on. That door handle is a sentient being, and I am its unwitting straight man. Sigh!
Niki 4 weeks ago
Suddenly I feel like I have found someone else from the same plane of existance, and I am somewhat releived that it is not just me!
Load More Replies... J Steven Tefertiller 4 weeks ago
I'm thinking a stick up the nose is bad enough. There is no reason to liken this to anything else. Owwch!
#27
The curator of 'Laughgorithm' also had some words of wisdom to share with anyone hoping to enter the world of content creation. For them, consistency is the key to success.
"To get started, you need to be consistent with the uploading and don't worry about the likes and reach too much in the beginning," they said.
"Just upload at least 5-10 posts in the beginning, and then you'll start seeing results." They added that you'll be "good to go" if you don't lose that focus on consistency.
#28
BeesEelsAndPups 1 month ago
I really hope this is fake. Anyone willing to do something this dumb for internet clout should probably just fall.
TotallyNOTAFox 1 month ago
"And this year's Darwin Award goes to..." - Sadly there are indeed morons that do this
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#29
Sue Denham 1 month ago
I imagine the whole office would enjoy watching the tape - except for Barry in accounts.
reuben kift 1 month ago (edited)
If your lunch is stolen on a regular basis, put laxatives in your food then wait. Edit: Do not follow the original advice based on what those below have said.
cecilia kilian 1 month ago
You can be accused of poisoning in some places apparently. Go for Carolina reaper or ghost peppers.
Load More Replies... #30
Marissa Voleta 1 month ago
Disagree. They make some of those yoga pants out of furturist space age Teflon or something. They hide, suck in, and lift where there is much to be hidden, sucked in, and lifted....
Apatheist Account2 1 month ago
I enquired about what level of yoga class I should attend. They asked me how flexible I was. I said I couldn't do Thursdays.
We’d like to hear what you think in the comments below, Pandas. Which memes boosted your mood the most? Which ones did you relate to on a level that even surprised you a little bit?
Which of these memes do you think your friends would enjoy the most, and why? What types and genres of memes do you usually enjoy? Let us know!
#31
Luke Branwen 1 month ago
Fun fact: smart watches exist thanks to a furry who called himself Spottacus
TotallyNOTAFox 1 month ago (edited)
The head scientist behind the Moderna Covid vaccine is a furry too and another one developed a cooling system for his fursuit which was adapted by the army to be used in the desert. It's always surprising for many people how many furries either work in IT/robotics, science or the military - It's a community that attracts nerds I would say
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Rick Murray 1 month ago
Some adults dress up as cats, some go to Disney (for, like, the twentieth time). What's the big deal? 🤷🏻♀️ Or are some people deathly scared that somebody, somewhere, might be having fun expressing themselves in an unusual way?
April Pickett 1 month ago
I don't understand Furries. I know they have fun together, but what brought this on?
Ceph Alopod 1 month ago
Usually those Disney movies with anthro animal characters, for my generation it's robin hood, new generation it's Zootopia, sometimes it's sonic the hedgehog
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#32
#33
WindySwede 1 month ago
prolly just for internet likes in the first place?
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#34
Earonn - 1 month ago
Well, you can't get wetter than 'soaked', so at that point it's no issue anymore.
Robert Trebor 1 month ago
The water likely has grit in it. It will seep into your underwear.
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#35
General Anaesthesia 1 month ago (edited)
I do :) Though how can printing a $37 bill be forgery, mister policeman?
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The Majestic Opossum 4 weeks ago
Depends on how cute you are when you slide the office the bill 🙃
Load More Replies... J Steven Tefertiller 4 weeks ago
I can change that into 2 fifteens, a four and a 3 dollar bill.
#36
yellowphantom 3 weeks ago
I laughed out loud at this one. how do people come up with this great stuff?
#38
Lotekguy 1 month ago
That could explain why the meteors wiped them out. Their hair caught fire.
#39
David Paterson 1 month ago
Especially when being banned from a social network after 3 years of being happy and kind.
Capn Dad 1 month ago
BTDT. Now I'm very careful about expressing my opinion on BP.
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Michael None 1 month ago
The trick is to be angry all the time then happiness and joy are your true side.
#40
Child of the Stars 1 month ago
A circle of close friends who actually support you and cry or cheer with you as needed.
Geoffrey Scott 1 month ago
Daughter sent us a pic of her collapsed carport. So, of course, we drove the hour to their house. My wife tended my 3 yd old grandson, we disassembled and scrapped the carport.
Marnie 4 weeks ago (edited)
Here we go misusing the world "privilege" again. A "privilege" is something extra that people get. Everyone SHOULD have parents who still help them financially as needed, so it's not a privilege. If someone doesn't have it, they are missing out. Just like in a hunter-gatherer society, parents would help their adult children with all kinds of things (help or education on childcare, bringing food if someone is sick or just had a baby, etc.) It's how human societies have always worked and thrived, so the fact that so many don't have that now means they are gravely disadvantaged.
#41
Bob Brooce 1 month ago
Anyone who noticed the hill should already know that.
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Unicorn Handstand 1 month ago
Why does this look like the houses from that one scene in the A Wrinkle In Time movie...😳
#42
Child of the Stars 1 month ago
This will be me in about 4.5 hours. I didn't sleep well yesterday and am beyond ready for bed now 😴
#43
Yvonne Dauwalder Balsiger 1 month ago
I actually stand up because my b**t hurts (Most time I just kneel on my seat) Sorry 😔
Miki 1 month ago
I am 1.91. I stand up because by knees are over my head. And my аss hurts. :p
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David Paterson 1 month ago
More than that. I once stood up late and missed my connecting flight.
Johnnynatfan 1 month ago (edited)
I've said it before and I will say it again, if you are on the taller side sitting in those tiny crapped spaces is extremely uncomfortable and slightly painful so standing up as soon as the plane lands is an effort to stretch the legs and get some circulation going and not thinking that they will get to the door any faster. It's not that hard of a concept to grasp yet I see these posts all of the time.
Anna Purnell 3 weeks ago
When the bell dings, stand up if you want. Stay seated if you want. It's personal preference, and it doesn't hurt anybody. I'll be with the standers tho. Back problems and a hurty b*m.
The Majestic Opossum 4 weeks ago
I stand up so I can hold back traffic for the people in front of me 🤷🏽♀️ (unless of course someone is trying to get out for a connection)
#44
Nikki Sevven 4 weeks ago
I thought it was normal to have a piece of cheese while perusing the fridge contents.
#45
TotallyNOTAFox 1 month ago
Would never happen to a guy like me - I'm too insecure to date in the first place
Charlotte Ingle 4 weeks ago
Unfortunate, since there might be someone out there who is worth the risk for you
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MNCold 4 weeks ago
Picking up and feeding a drunk girlfriend....yup,he knows exactly what he's getting later....
Oskar vanZandt 1 month ago
Hmmm. It doesn't say this is something the bf does all the time...
Load More Replies... #46
Lotekguy 1 month ago
That tidbit is also a warning of the potential for unintended consequences.
The Majestic Opossum 4 weeks ago
Yep. The reason my RBF is so well practiced and I'm very careful which strangers I casually smile or make eye contact with 🤦🏽♀️
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Apocalyptic Excavator 2 weeks ago (edited)
*if you're able bodied,, no older than 30 and at least a 7, obviously.
#47
Sam Trudeau 1 month ago
I've used every kind of OS in the past. Windows, Mac, Chrome, Linux Mint. And then there's sites that take up so much wifi apparently that you can't even close them without taking an extra 10 seconds. Like BP, for instance
BeesEelsAndPups 1 month ago
I'm not really a windows guy, but if you open the resource monitor (hit the Windows Key + R and type "resmon" in the window that pops up), then go the CPU tab there should be a part of the screen called "Associated Handles". There should be a search box there where you can type in the filename and it will show you the processes using that file. I don't own any windows machines, so I'm writing this out from memory, so hopefully it's still there.
Rick Murray 1 month ago
In my experience, it's probably Explorer. You so much as glance in the direction of an usual file, it's handle will be opened and you'll need to rummage around to find the right instance of Explorer to close, before getting fed up and k*****g the task at which point half the desktop vanishes. It's much the same for Removable media - Explorer might be holding a directory "open" and when you want to dismount the media Windows will politely look to see if any handles are in use rather than doing something useful like broadcasting a message "user wants to remove $DEVICE so close your f*****g handles NOW!". So glad I ditched that OS.
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#49
LakotaWolf (she/her) 1 month ago
Okay, so, my mom pushed me into college when I was 14. I attended my city's community college for 2 years until I could transfer to a larger, 4-year university when I was 16 (in my case, CSULB because it was closest and I could drive myself there.) On my first day of classes there, I left an hour early, thinking I'd be fine (CSULB is about 20 min drive from where I live.) I got to the college and PANICKED. It was HUGE. Every single parking lot and street around it was PACKED. I had severely underestimated how many MORE people would be attending it vs. my small community college XD I circled looking for a parking spot until I'd missed the start of my first class. I went into full blank-brain mode and drove home XD And THAT is how I totally screwed up my first semester at CSULB!
#50
Rick Murray 1 month ago
Well, when the boss who is giving the presentation insists upon reading each slide out loud as if nobody is capable of reading...
Load More Replies... wobbly jelly 1 month ago
A supplier sent me their presentation pack, so they hide some depending on who is seeing it - I opened it so see over 850 slides. We also paid a consultancy for some strategy piece they opened with 1 of 75 slides were told to go away and bring back the summary next day - same compancy that sent us a draft doc to review and it was on last page (where most people had given up) yellow high lighted "insert answer here"
#51
David Paterson 1 month ago
Useful in a couple of countries I could name. Countries where it's deadly to drink water that hasn't been boiled first.
Sam Trudeau 1 month ago
Tchaikofsky died from that kind of thing, apparently slowly. I like to describe it as "water k****d the composer"
Load More Replies... Child of the Stars 1 month ago
My parents used to live in a rural area where the local water source occasionally became contaminated with e. coli. My mom used to do this so they would always have water.
Hugo 1 month ago
You can get a microfilter. Don't know what they cost to buy, but the running costs are certainly lower than boiling.
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#53
#54
David Paterson 1 month ago
Fair point. Now let's make all nouns into verbs. Excuse me while I contact a contact and crazy a crazy.
TotallyNOTAFox 1 month ago
Well, it both works in german - You can "food" food in Food (name of a city; Essen in Essen essen)
Marie BellaDonna 4 weeks ago
If something stinks, you can say it smells. But if something has an unappetizing flavor, you can't say it tastes.
Siege Rook 1 month ago
All languages are human constructs, and therefore "fake", if you want to look at it that way.
#55
Space Invader 4 weeks ago
It's a bit unfair, innit? The white pawns have a lot farther to go to be promoted...
#56
BeesEelsAndPups 1 month ago
Rock will last longer, but I won't lose the stick. It's so hard to choose.
Load More Replies... Kenny Kulbiski 1 month ago
Take the stick. Use it to stab the person with the rock. Ta-da you've got both and the makings of a Wall Street CEO.
SchadenFreudian Psychology 4 weeks ago
Take the rock. Throw it at the person who took the stick. Take the stick they dropped, and pick up the rock.
Load More Replies... Capn Dad 1 month ago
Choose the stick, and become a mighty warrior. Choose the rock, and become a powerful wizard. Choose wisely!
thesbianism 1 month ago
¿Te partirías por la mitad en una encrucijada para ir en ambas direcciones?
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#58
Ghostchaplain16 1 month ago
Wait, you found an interviewer who actually listened? (Easy there, HR compatriots, just kidding. I was one of you before I switched midlife to becoming a chaplain.)
The Majestic Opossum 4 weeks ago
Oh God no. I'd never hire any of my relatives. Not because of my ethics. Because they all sück.
#59
#60
liam newton-harding 1 month ago
When a job is "required" to give people a two month notice when firing them, I'm sure we'll all take the "required" two week notice when quitting.
Ace 1 month ago
Well yes, that's how it works in most of the world, except that four weeks, not two, is generally the legal bare minimum.
Load More Replies... Michael Largey 1 month ago (edited)
Workers who defy company policy and suddenly resign should risk termination of their employment.
Child of the Stars 1 month ago
These make me so happy to work for my organization. I have an interview for my boss's old job, and I actually discussed with her before applying if she thought I'd be a good fit.
OneHappyPuppy 1 month ago
Lol looks like the less formal exchange between me and the companies accountant from last week...
LovesBerk 4 weeks ago
I was let go at a job I didn't particularly like. The factory manager looked gorgeous but was a total a hole. Went around and told everyone goodbye. Got to him and told him I'm really glad I don't have to work with you anymore in front of his co workers. You could have heard a pin drop.
#61
Austzn 1 month ago (edited)
Remote working just proved how inefficient "the office" was for many people. Sounds like a management problem to me.
Brain-In-A-Vat 1 month ago
Thing is , a lot of rich people made a lot of money renting office space to each other . Work from home = no need for those offices . . .
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Bob Brooce 1 month ago
You wouldn't recognize Superman if his disguise was contact lenses, would you?
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#63
Geoffrey Scott 1 month ago
Our is JUST on the other side of a small steep hill. And they back up into the blind lane...so far no carnage, but someday...
#64
Glix Drap 1 month ago
And who is dèad. The count for the group I hung out with currently stands at 1.
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Capn Dad 1 month ago
My reunion committee always wanted $150 to come see people I barely remember and didn't like, who never show up anyway.
Lotekguy 1 month ago
My cousin flew 2000 miles to her high school reunion. I didn't drive 20 miles to mine. Obviously, the residual effect of those years can vary widely.
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Hassel Davidhoff 1 month ago
My absence from all high school reunions says more then my presence ever could.
Valestra Silverfang 2 weeks ago
I graduated 6 months early in 1983. Didn't go to the graduation ceremony and haven't been to a single reunion. Never even got an invite or any sort of notice. As far as they know, I no longer exist. Fine with me.
#65
Lost Panda 1 month ago
It wasn't until recently I learned that not every one sees light like that XD
Foxglove🇮🇪 1 month ago
Not even prescription glasses completely take it away. These light sabers are now fuzzy pompoms for me!
#66
David Paterson 1 month ago
Today I printed off two copies, signed them, put one in a business sized envelope, with a stamp, and walked to the post office.
Mahiera Etsuhae 1 month ago
My god! What kind of a sick, twisted person are you!?
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Smeghead Tribble Down Under 1 month ago
In the early 90s we had to chip out essays on a stone tablet. We were all socios -_-
S Bow 1 month ago
Canceled your down vote. It was even more difficult when the chisel sharpener wasn't working. 😆
Load More Replies... thesbianism 1 month ago
Right, it sure makes one uneasy to see someone rely on their own intelligence to complete a simple task rather than sacrificing a myriad of natural resources and their human autonomy, only to prove their intellectual inferiority to a literal machine.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 4 weeks ago
My sister gave me an iPad a couple of years ago and I've done my best to learn how to draw digitally - but I still prefer pencil and paper and coloring in with art markers XD
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JAZ_P 4 weeks ago
I thought I'd ask AI to find me some references to help me support some of my arguments. I used a few but then had to redo all my work because ai completely fabricated whole papers and sources. They just didn't exist at all. I think we are definitely safe from the AI takeover for a while yet!
#67
LakotaWolf (she/her) 4 weeks ago
Yep. Lately my mother has started developing some of the issues I've struggled with my entire life (insomnia, mental health issues/depression) and listening to her roll out the Complain Train about how her issues are 10x worse than mine whenever I happen to even mention mine in passing (not even complaining, just factually) is ughhhh XD Especially since she spent my childhood and young adulthood telling me to "just try harder" at sleeping and that I "didn't want to get better" and was "doing it to myself". I guess she just needs to try harder to sleep now that SHE has insomnia!
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Geoffrey Scott 1 month ago (edited)
In my case, it's when my wife asks what's wrong if I groan a little when I move a certain way. This then turns into a litany of HER aches and pains.
#68
Geoffrey Scott 1 month ago
Yes Lotekguy, the most "powerful man in the world"..and goes into tantrum mode when someone disagrees.
Load More Replies... TotallyNOTAFox 1 month ago
Gaming journalists and 90% of Bluesky users alone would net that company billions within the first year
#69
Lotekguy 1 month ago
Her term paper will be determining your place on the spectrum and explaining her reasoning.
Marnie 4 weeks ago
I know you were just cracking a joke, but FYI, there is no "place" on the spectrum. A spectrum is not a gradient, from mild to severe, from better to worse. It's a set of traits/deficits/symptoms, and each person will have more or less of each of those. Each set is like a color on the spectrum. On the light spectrum, yellow is not more color-y than blue. They categorize "severity" via support needs levels, which is completely unrelated to the "spectrum". (Also, severity has only to do with how much of a bother the person is, not how much anguish or stress they are feeling inside or how much their life s***s, so as an even more side note, it's annoying that they measure severity only by level of support needs.)
Load More Replies... Geoffrey Scott 1 month ago
"Well honey, if nothing else, being with me keeps you on your professional toes".
#71
#72
Bi.Felicia 1 month ago
Not exactly, more like blocking the signal from the remote, so the TV channel can't be changed.
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LakotaWolf (she/her) 4 weeks ago
I remember years ago, I saw a post on Tumblr that was like "omg you people with siblings, you have no idea how LUCKY you are, you have a built-in best friend! You have someone who you were born to love and who was born to love you!!!" and I laughed until I peed myself because my sister is/was the second-biggest abùser in my life/childhood right after my mother. I WISH she had only done stuff like block the remote signal XD
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Child of the Stars 1 month ago
I'm a big believer that, short of having a legitimately low iq, anyone can learn anything. We just need varying degrees of help and the right tutor.
Load More Replies... thesbianism 1 month ago
It almost makes me want to be purposefully lazy just to remain blissfully unaware of the comparative imbecility of some of my classmates.
#75
Catharina Geerts 4 weeks ago
I always read a pocketbook when eating, as long as the food is edible with one hand, but occasionally I do snack while being busy on the PC
#77
#78
Siege Rook 1 month ago
That... and type of potato, too, plays a big factor. Also, that in the case of large chains like McD's, they're usually actually par-fried (i.e. fried twice), first briefly at the production plant prior to being frozen and then again at serving. That not only affects how long they take for the final cook, but how crispy they get. Buffalo wings are best done the same way, fried twice with a rest (or even chill or freeze) between.
Load More Replies... TotallyNOTAFox 1 month ago
The EU banned restaurants from frying them to a crsipy state due do a higher cancer risk, may be a factor here depending where the pictures were taken
#79
RomanceRadish 1 month ago
Depends, among other things, if they're paying daycare (which is basically another mortgage) or if they have family help.
#80
#81
Child of the Stars 1 month ago
It's the last look before closing the front door that always gets me.
JL 1 month ago (edited)
And that nagging feeling that you left something behind somewhere even though you done a full sweep 15 times.
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cecilia kilian 1 month ago
Last night in my rented house before moving into the house I bought: Good riddance, stingy, intrusive landlord, f-off useless real estate agency wiith your 10% rent hike every year.
Wicked Step-Grandmother 4 weeks ago
It's probably because all your sh*t is packd up in boxes. 😁
Mia Chapman 4 weeks ago
I remember the night before I moved, I watched 10 episodes of The Office (the power went out)
#82
#83
Capn Dad 1 month ago
Actually, I think that's to protect people from flying debris, which there would be plenty of.
#84
Zig Zag Wanderer 1 month ago (edited)
And then asks you browser for the ability to post notifications...
Load More Replies... Sam Trudeau 1 month ago
The Matrix had a lady offer Neo a cookie before he could speak to her. Before the internet became such a big thing
#85
#86
#87
MagicAxolotl (she/eve) 4 weeks ago
I literally refused to finish my favorite video game cause I didn't want it to be over lol. Just reached the final boss and stopped.
TotallyNOTAFox 1 month ago (edited)
Finshing Dying Light and thinking that the slow zombies at the workplace are kinda boring....
#89
TotallyNOTAFox 1 month ago
I rarely ever drank alcohol aside maybe one glass at family gatherings and nowadays I don't drink any due to constantly being on meds
Living Example 1 month ago
If you're going to have a disease, that's (alcoholism) the best one to have. (paraphrasing Norm Mcdonald)
#90
Zig Zag Wanderer 1 month ago
Ah, but that was in the local equivalent of Instagram. What about in RL?
Capn Dad 1 month ago
IRL, they'd run out of spears. Notice too the guy in the back who looks pretty dëad to me. Maybe this is why they started running them off cliffs instead.
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#91
LakotaWolf (she/her) 4 weeks ago
ALL of their food is ridiculously good for ridiculously reasonable prices. When I was still living with my ex, going to Costco and getting a pizza for dinner was like $10 and that would feed the two of us for at least two days XD And it's REALLY friggin good pizza, seriously. Even reheated it's still good.
Load More Replies... Oskar vanZandt 1 month ago
So? I think that's the perfect place for a first date... Sensible and fun.
#93
tragical dude 1 month ago
the person then accidentally does a dramatic open, mouth gasp and inhales the furbean into their left lung, where it starves to death, giving the person permanent rot-breath.
#94
Child of the Stars 1 month ago
Uh...my son was born in 2018. I know because I vividly remember the very real fear that he might be born on our couch.
Geoffrey Scott 1 month ago
At the local C-Store: "birthdate?"..(I'm 63)" __/13/ 2002"...sarcastic glance.."What???I'm legal!"
#95
LakotaWolf (she/her) 4 weeks ago
Yep. I'm still being affected to this day by most of the Elder Scroll games and the early Dragon Age games, especially I*********n XD
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#96
#97
Sara Frazer 1 month ago
Omg and the smile on his face 🤣 I really want to know what this person ordered
#98
#101
Michael Largey 1 month ago
The fact that you only live once is often excellent reason not to make that move.
#103
TotallyNOTAFox 1 month ago
A dishwasher seems to be a wise investment....
Load More Replies... Mark Alexander 1 month ago
Use old magazines. Oh, wait. Put an onion on your belt and use that.
#104
alchemilla vulgaris 1 month ago
so in other words, men who are human? I agree, a tank is well visible, and decked in red flags
Rick Murray 1 month ago
I'm a man that can't swim because I drowned when I was little and, strangely enough, have never felt any desire to go more into water than about waist deep... So many people are like "oh! the beach!". Meh, give me a tranquil forest instead.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 4 weeks ago
Hell, I was raised in a beach town and I can't stand the beach XD (More from my imminent death from sunburn rather than a lack of swimming knowledge, but still.)
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