Trying to determine what makes a good (or bad) dad joke is not so easy, but there are some certain ingredients that we can name. First of all, the one-liner has to be administered by a dad (not necessarily your own), it has to be both corny and somewhat amusing, and most of all it just has to have a hackneyed pun to make it the best joke ever. Although not everyone is a big fan of that type of comedy gold, there is a certain amount of appreciation any person can have for a well-timed funny pun. Especially if it's followed by thunderous laughter from the person and the classic finger-guns pose.

Oh, and if you're a dad joke aficionado like we are, you might be surprised to know, as to where these inappropriate jokes stem from. So, the first theory is because your beloved father just feels nostalgic to those times when you were little and laughed at just about anything. The other approach for these hilarious jokes is a much more anticipated one - your father wants to embarrass you as much as he can while he can. And that's precisely what these funny jokes are meant to do.

Scroll down below to see some of the best funny dad jokes around and don't forget to comment and vote for your favorites.

#1

Can I Have A Book Mark?

Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears. 11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian.

Tface Report

JillVille
Community Member
3 years ago

So sorry Brian, one day he'll get it! lol

Blake Philip Peter ELLIOT
Community Member
2 years ago

thats gonna leave a emotional mark

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ItsAMarioMoment
Community Member
2 years ago

Does anyone else read these because their dads left them when they were younger and now they want to get the experience of having a dad too?

MY - 07SM 761020 Sir John A Macdonald Sr PS
Community Member
1 year ago

im- yes..

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Jaky Chen
Community Member
2 years ago

I'm sorry mark, I believe he'll get it one day

Cameron Metcalf
Community Member
2 years ago

i read over this 4000000 times and im just now getting this....lol ME=STUPID

Chris Bradley
Community Member
2 years ago

Ok what is orange and sounds like a parrot??? ..........., a carrot🤪

TY'TEONNA CHOPP
Community Member
1 year ago

I get it. He thinks his son is calling him mark.

Joey Shields
Community Member
2 years ago

just give the kid a bookmark for gods sake

Payveen Zebary
Community Member
2 years ago

Wow he just asked for a book mark its not like he did not know your name.

Payveen Zebary
Community Member
2 years ago

Wow he just asked for a book mark why did you think he did not know your name.

Alice Curle
Community Member
2 years ago

haha

Daniel Ross
Community Member
2 years ago

THE FUNNIEST SHIT I'VE READ ALL DAY🤞🏽

Camila Carrasco
Community Member
2 years ago

umm

Camila GonzalezMendiola
Community Member
2 years ago

i'll slap the hell out of him and say i am suprised but, i ain't no book mark

Aaron Hathaway
Community Member
2 years ago

Wanna play fun games play ROBLOX ohhhhhh click this https://web.roblox.com

Aaron Hathaway
Community Member
2 years ago

BOI

Aaron Hathaway
Community Member
2 years ago

boiiiiiiii

ItsAMarioMoment
Community Member
2 years ago

Does anyone else read these because their dads left when they were young so they can get the experience?

Dayton Mucha
Community Member
2 years ago

Why did the rooster cross the road? To prove it wasn’t a chicken.

Elizabeth O'Niel
Community Member
2 years ago

he wanted a bookmark- one word. He wasn't asking for a book from Mark

Stephen Dalby
Community Member
2 years ago

I don't know what's funnier, the joke or your weird comment.

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Mark Leonhardt
Community Member
2 years ago

Ahhh that doesn't work for me. But then my name is actually Mark.

Jonathon Barrett
Community Member
2 years ago

hahahahahhahahhahahahahahhahaahhaahahahahahahahahahhahahhahahahahhahahahahhahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhahahahahhahahhahahahahahhahaahhaahahahahahahahahahhahahhahahahahhahahahahhahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhahahahahhahahhahahahahahhahaahhaahahahahahahahahahhahahhahahahahhahahahahhahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhahahahahhahahhahahahahahhahaahhaahahahahahahahahahhahahhahahahahhahahahahhahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhahahahahhahahhahahahahahhahaahhaahahahahahahahahahhahahhahahahahhahahahahhahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhahahahahhahahhahahahahahhahaahhaahahahahahahahahahhahahhahahahahhahahahahhahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhahahahahhahahhahahahahahhahaahhaahahahahahahahahahhahahhahahahahhahahahahhahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhahahahahhahahhahahahahahhahaahhaahahahahahahahahahhahahhahahahahhahahahahhahahahah

Infinity Sn1p3r
Community Member
2 years ago

When Life is Dead and you look at dad jokes

DJ The jolteon
Community Member
1 year ago

DAMN I GET IT

Humore Shqip
Community Member
1 year ago

I don't get it someone explain

Brîndușa
Community Member
12 months ago

Can i have a book, Mark? Hey, son, my name is Brian.

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Matt Hagen
Community Member
1 year ago

1

Aaisha Noushad
Community Member
1 year ago

i dont get it

Evelyn Britt
Community Member
1 year ago

Tbh when I heard "Book mark" I thought he was going to hit him with a book....

Maddy Wright
Community Member
1 year ago

lmao 😂😂😂😂😂

Rohan Pasham
Community Member
1 year ago

That doesn't even make any sense at all!!

Yunguncletracks Inc.
Community Member
2 years ago

Best joke I’ve ever heard 😈😈

yungbekoxo
Community Member
2 years ago

BEST JOKE EVER OMG I LAUGHED HAHA

Zoe Green
Community Member
2 years ago

It took me a second to understand

Kerosene muanza
Community Member
2 years ago

What do paint wear when it's cold?

lamacorn
Community Member
1 year ago

Did you mean what does paint wear when it's cold?

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Speedy_Sloth 1245
Community Member
2 years ago

lol

Gabriella Loera
Community Member
2 years ago

It's my birthday im old ;-;

Jack Levine
Community Member
2 years ago

It's sooooooooooooooooo funny

Catherine Major
Community Member
2 years ago

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahah

Aiden Veigli
Community Member
2 years ago

That is a trash joke 👎

Jared McKenney
Community Member
2 years ago

He's talking about his dad not you Brian

Julian Donohue
Community Member
2 years ago

i do not get it

Alexander Babka
Community Member
2 years ago

that is so funny

Makhai Clemmons
Community Member
2 years ago

took me a moment

Aliyah Welch
Community Member
2 years ago

cat said lets water the plant becuase it is our job.Sam says no and pours coca cola in the plant.cat says no the plant might have diabutties

Harrison Goldberg
Community Member
2 years ago

Boo

Genesis Clay
Community Member
2 years ago

lol

Brian Hindle
Community Member
2 years ago

I hope so.

Miley Cannon
Community Member
2 years ago

That made no sense what so ever

tatianna vela
Community Member
2 years ago

omg that is amazing

Ivan Vigil
Community Member
2 years ago

this joke is retarted

Mark Herring
Community Member
2 years ago

does me no good since my name is Mark. guess I could respond with " sure. (hand her a book) and say "here you go. but next time , I'd prefer you call me daddy

Cameron Murray-Holmes
Community Member
2 years ago

HI SCARLETT

Jurnee Vonderau
Community Member
2 years ago

hahahahahahhaahahahahah

Scarecrow Bois
Community Member
2 years ago

why

EeveeTrainer 209
Community Member
2 years ago

Thats funny. Sad, but but funny

Race Johnson
Community Member
2 years ago

lol be post

Nakita Yang
Community Member
2 years ago

BICK

Harry Howse
Community Member
2 years ago

#1

slothaxalotl
Community Member
2 years ago

im rotfl

lamacorn
Community Member
1 year ago

What does rotfl mean?

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Joey Rega
Community Member
2 years ago

Nice joke Brian not book mark he wants a bookmark

Madison Robinson
Community Member
2 years ago

that is so mean he just wont a bookmark

Ethan Brock
Community Member
2 years ago

lol

potatocatz*w*
Community Member
2 years ago

RIP Brian

Lachlan Mckay-Fulton
Community Member
2 years ago

This joke is funny, but a couple of months ago I bought a box of what I thought was a box of dad jokes was actually a deck of cards😪

alissa leiferman
Community Member
2 years ago

i just told my dad that joke and he looked at me and was like 😕 and than after 3 mins he was like 😏

Daniela Nunez
Community Member
2 years ago

Oof

Lachlan Mckay-Fulton
Community Member
2 years ago

U can say that again

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Jason Hooven
Community Member
2 years ago

Poop is nothing

Olivia WILSON
Community Member
2 years ago

omg.... so cringe XD But it's perfect for his Christmas gift XD I made him a box of dad quotes and dad jokes. Is that a good idea? Lol

Tiger Goggins
Community Member
2 years ago

nice

Chris Bradley
Community Member
2 years ago

What’s orange and sounds like a parrot???? ..........a carrot🤪

24SANG BENSON
Community Member
2 years ago

Yeah he will

AVA SNOW
Community Member
2 years ago

listen to this joke to people were at a dance one of the guys had a wood eye the other guy was normal. the guy with a wooden eye wanted to dance with a girl that had a peg leg. the guy went over and asked, "do you wanna dance". the girl was surprised so she would eye would eye but the guy took it the wrong way so he started saying peg leg peg leg.

HALEY LEAVELL
Community Member
2 years ago

llo

Jenana Arapovic
Community Member
2 years ago

If I have a work wife, am I having an internal affair?

Kera White
Community Member
2 years ago

I D saloemoon-...02f760.jpg saloemoon-5dc2f9402f760.jpg

Kera White
Community Member
2 years ago

I don't get it lol

Madison Knight
Community Member
2 years ago

Poor Brian. :'(

Jaydon Hassler (Grade 10)
Community Member
2 years ago

how do you know that your name isn't Mark and you forgot

Jaydon Hassler (Grade 10)
Community Member
2 years ago

how do you know your real name is mark

Grace Richardson
Community Member
2 years ago

So sorry Brian, one day he'll get it! lol

Grace Richardson
Community Member
2 years ago

what has bran have to do with anything

Grace Richardson
Community Member
2 years ago

what does Brian have to do with anything

Bailey JENNINGS
Community Member
2 years ago

I dont get this

DaddysSmoothie
Community Member
2 years ago

I don't understand this... can someone explain?

Madison Beckette
Community Member
2 years ago

I didn't get it until I had my dad read it out to me... I am a failure.

Greta Faignant
Community Member
2 years ago

I have to admit, that took me a moment to figure out

Jordan Broderick
Community Member
2 years ago

good joke

Rick Friedman
Community Member
2 years ago

I laughed out loud. it's funny

HelloGoodbye
Community Member
2 years ago

I cringed so hard

Breezy Langley
Community Member
2 years ago

what

Josslin Lockhart
Community Member
2 years ago

sorry brien my name is jen not mark

Afiq Danial
Community Member
3 years ago

lol

Kevin Lingueno
Community Member
3 years ago

i dont get it

Addison Ledford
Community Member
3 years ago

lol

Makayla Towe
Community Member
3 years ago

This is so bad that its funny!!!

richard el-amin
Community Member
3 years ago

thats tuof

lamacorn
Community Member
1 year ago

What does tuof mean?

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richard el-amin
Community Member
3 years ago

that is stupid

Kailee Zola
Community Member
3 years ago

I don´t get it

Nicholas Kelly
Community Member
3 years ago

lol

Eternal Cancer
Community Member
3 years ago

Maybe your wife cheated on you with mark

Layla Ardalan
Community Member
3 years ago

this is terrible

Ethan Wood
Community Member
3 years ago

your terrible

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Luc Wall
Community Member
3 years ago

Hey these Dad Jokes are great Also if your looking for even more awesome dad joke i found this cool site that has some pretty great ones hope you enjoy! :) http://www.lucaswall.ca/dad-jokes/

lamacorn
Community Member
1 year ago

Thank you

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Bingyu Hu
Community Member
1 month ago

no he should call you dad

Elizabeth VanDyke
Community Member
1 month ago

While in a grocery with my SO we bought one item. The cashier asked him if he wanted a bag. He put his hand on my shoulder and said "No thanks. I brought my own."

OLIVIA TUCKER
Community Member
1 year ago

i told my mom this and her reaction was priceless

Andre McCombs
Community Member
1 year ago

i told this to me fam and class they thought iit was bad and then dey lafed

Andre McCombs
Community Member
1 year ago

sooo funny

sloth
Community Member
1 year ago

what kind of train eats taffy. a choo choo train

henry tsai
Community Member
1 year ago

LOL

Aaron Escobar
Community Member
1 year ago

stupid

Aaron Escobar
Community Member
1 year ago

shut up cry baby

Brooklynn Amanna (Student)
Community Member
1 year ago

ok thats funny

Courtney Halcom
Community Member
1 year ago

I have a joke why didn't the skeleton go to the dance? because he had o body to go with

art cream
Community Member
1 year ago

My family cried

TheEpicgam
Community Member
1 year ago

Jesus Chirist

Phoenix
Community Member
1 year ago

Lol

Mark Johnson
Community Member
1 year ago

Bummer. First joke off the bat and it's one I can't use.

Riley StMichael
Community Member
1 year ago

So sorry Mark, one day he'll get it! NEVER LOSE HOPE MARK! lol

Jordynn Brown
Community Member
1 year ago

sorry brian lol

Jordynn Brown
Community Member
1 year ago

lol

Jameson Stein
Community Member
1 year ago

waht

Elliance Urban
Community Member
1 year ago

lol

MYCHA _
Community Member
1 year ago

Whats the only good thing about child molesters: They drive slow in school zones.

Bradley Wyss
Community Member
1 year ago

did you hear that diarrhea is hereditary? Yeah it runs in your genes.

emma rose erickson
Community Member
1 year ago

lol

Joshua Kurtz
Community Member
1 year ago

haha so funny Nice

Isaiah FAULKHEAD
Community Member
1 year ago

Iv got a joke were do beans go after there holiday back to cains

Charlielikescats
Community Member
1 year ago

It took me 5 minutes to get this one

Shawn Aniekwe
Community Member
1 year ago

too funny

Alex Merifeild from Morpeth
Community Member
2 years ago

I’ll send nudes to anyone with a better joke

Alex Merifeild from Morpeth
Community Member
2 years ago

THIS IS SO GOOD

Cameron Metcalf
Community Member
2 years ago

i dont get it

SAMUEL CANTRELL
Community Member
2 years ago

I invented a new word! Plagerism!!!

Bradley Foster
Community Member
2 years ago

sorry he is hopeless

Jason Hooven
Community Member
2 years ago

Hill get it

Aryonnah Beaton
Community Member
2 years ago

wow

Rhys Fines
Community Member
2 years ago

Why are stars better than hamburgers? Hamburgers are meaty, but stars are a little meteor.

lamacorn
Community Member
1 year ago

hahaha

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Mr. TTV_Default_YT
Community Member
2 years ago

so sorry mark

wolf cub snow
Community Member
2 years ago

seriously😒

Ma Victor
Community Member
2 years ago

Fuck it! He meant mark as in the name Mark. Fuck the internet for killing my brain cells

Aiden De Groot
Community Member
2 years ago

poiuytrewqasdfghjklmnbvcxzz

Breezy Langley
Community Member
2 years ago

what?

Ethan Wood
Community Member
3 years ago

kjrbfiuegygighguguygeuiugfufhfhgjgfygfulyagefygeyrgfygfiygrfiygrfgbhcvhbchbcbjabjanxjnaxjkansjkhuidfriugtyigiutgiueyioeyoiur87t98740923re932euip9duoygchjvbbv b jhcbjbm cij-=spodpowjuidiou0-903epo23e23ye67r3289y3817y8933t8348y9r874itugrfkjdcrehjveikherfhreberhfbhefbhkherbherhkleberhb erk;n u n n jyny j n jnjn yh bt hty h yh hyt bt

Cecilie Marie Trans 7B Fællesskolen Favrdal-Fjelstrup
3 years ago

OHH MAH GAWD xD

akili braylock
Community Member
3 years ago

brian :) he will get it one day

nether man
Community Member
3 years ago

I want a book too, Mark.

Brandie Smith
Community Member
3 years ago

Lmao

Nostalgic Hyena
Community Member
3 years ago

Took me a minute..

Parmeisan
Community Member
3 years ago

I think you mean 11 years old and he still doesn't know your name is Dad. ;)

Last Hurrah
Community Member
3 years ago

At least he's not asking for the car keys yet!

JALEN CALDWELL
Community Member
2 years ago

ok boomer

JALEN CALDWELL
Community Member
2 years ago

bruh

Arkan Ahmad
Community Member
2 years ago

Trash

Caitlynn Newkirk
Community Member
2 years ago

shame on your son !!!!

ELI SWANSON
Community Member
2 years ago

im watcing you right nowi love you so much sleep with me plz

Ma Victor
Community Member
2 years ago

Fuck it, he meant mark as in name mark. Fuck you internet for killing my brain cells

Aiden De Groot
Community Member
2 years ago

poiuytrewlkjhgfdsmnbvcxz

Addison Ledford
Community Member
3 years ago

what????????? download-4...8b78a.jpeg download-45-5cd58c068b78a.jpeg

Addison Ledford
Community Member
3 years ago

lol Mal_headsh...345c9c.jpg Mal_headshot_w-_background__Isle_look-5cd1a2a345c9c.jpg

Addison Ledford
Community Member
3 years ago

cool lol download-4...43b13.jpeg download-43-5cd1a27543b13.jpeg

Bradley Foster
Community Member
2 years ago

He kinda dumb son sorry

Katelyn Kile
Community Member
2 years ago

stupid jokes

lamacorn
Community Member
1 year ago (edited)

Your stupid. Shame on you

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Nicolas P
Community Member
3 years ago

Suck my dick lil who’re 5039981013

Ethan Heavner
Community Member
3 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

i hate it

Ethan Wood
Community Member
3 years ago (edited)

i hate you

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#2

Sense Of Direction

My wife is really mad at the fact that I have no sense of direction. So I packed up my stuff and right.

porichoygupto Report

Last Hurrah
Community Member
3 years ago

Right on!

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#3

Perfect Pun

DAD: I was just listening to the radio on my way in to town, apparently an actress just killed herself.

MOM: Oh my! Who!?

DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something?

MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????

DAD: No, it was with a knife...

Alessia_Fisher Report

JillVille
Community Member
3 years ago

Groan - nice one!

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#4

Holy Water

How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.

tymoski Report

Last Hurrah
Community Member
3 years ago

Freeze it and then drill holes in it.

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#5

Trippy Shoes

I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!

motherfkersantana Report

glowworm2
Community Member
3 years ago

Ha! I like this one.

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#6

Origin Of French Fries

Did you know the first French fries weren't actually cooked in France? They were cooked in Greece.

somekindahuman Report

Molly Tallmadge
Community Member
3 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

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#7

Nap Time Puns

If a child refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest?

korpsart Report

Iván Galarraga
Community Member
3 years ago

"I REST MY CASE!"

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#8

Donald Duck

The secret service isn't allowed to yell "Get down!" anymore when the president is about to be attacked. Now they have to yell "Donald, duck!"

ldrescher Report

Alexis Nobuyuki
Community Member
3 years ago

Pfft! Corny

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#9

Concepts Of Gravity

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!

raheel1122 Report

Iván Galarraga
Community Member
3 years ago

You must obey gravity, it's the law

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#10

Nobody Knows

What do you call someone with no body and no nose? Nobody knows.

Lee_Hey_pat Report

Iván Galarraga
Community Member
3 years ago

He's on third base, no wait, that's I don't know

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#11

Which Came First?

I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I’ll let you know

JohnathanWickers Report

Lynn Noyes
Community Member
3 years ago

Re the riddle, eggs came first. Dinosaurs laid eggs.

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#12

Least Spoken Language

What is the least spoken language in the world? Sign language

A_Sea_Cucumber Report

Rebekah
Community Member
3 years ago

Dammit - you got me.

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#13

Conversation Starter

My daughter screeched, "Daaaaaad, you haven't listened to one word I've said, have you!?" What a strange way to start a conversation with me...

madazzahatter Report

Misterscooter
Community Member
3 years ago

Ha!

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#14

Pie Rates

A slice of apple pie is $2.50 in Jamaica and $3.00 in the Bahamas. These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.

porichoygupto Report

Dian Ella Lillie
Community Member
3 years ago

"Jamaica pie?" "Nah, that's a Bahama split."

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#15

Single Handedly The Best

My wife tried to unlatch our daughter's car seat with one hand and said, "How do one armed mothers do it?" Without missing a beat I replied, "Single handedly."

thunderup_14 Report

JillVille
Community Member
3 years ago

Teehee

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#16

Dying To Get There

When a dad drives past a graveyard: Did you know that's a popular cemetery? Yep, people are just dying to get in there!

AshleyJack Report

Dian Ella Lillie
Community Member
3 years ago

There's an interesting fact about the cemetery in my area - it's the dead centre of the town.

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#17

Meaning Well

My friend keeps saying "cheer up man it could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water." I know he means well.

StewPaddasso Report

Aidan Andrew Allott
Community Member
3 years ago

He wants to die

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#18

Serving Justice

Justice is a dish best served cold, if it were served warm it would be justwater.

Spider_Dimwit Report

BlackestDawn
Community Member
3 years ago

*groans* took me a few secs to get it but, well done.

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#19

Sir Arthur's Knights

The fattest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

omgthatspunny Report

Steven H
Community Member
3 years ago

I knew you'd get "a round" to that joke...

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#20

Logical Explanation

MOM: "How do I look?" DAD: "With your eyes."

Report

mhubert10
Community Member
3 years ago

adopting this one

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#21

Silent P

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because the pee is silent.

Capetoider Report

Max Harkins
Community Member
3 years ago

OOF. That was pretty terrible, all right.

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#22

Vegetarian Zombie

What does a zombie vegetarian eat? “GRRRAAAAAIIIINNNNS!”

PolesawPolska Report

S.
Community Member
3 years ago

Imagine the zombie apocalypse beginning, but it's just annoying zombies stealing your bread. “FRED! THE DEAD EFFAHS STOLE MAH CEREAL AGAIN ” ”well, at least we now know they're actually made of grain, honey.”

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#23

Excited For Spring

Spring is here! I got so excited I wet my plants!

mblondie Report

PeachPossum
Community Member
3 years ago

At least you didn't SOIL them

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#24

Rules Of Life

3 unwritten rules of life...
1.
2.
3.

madazzahatter Report

earringnut
Community Member
3 years ago

This one literally just made me laugh out loud.

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#25

Witnessing A Robery

If you see a robbery at an Apple Store does that make you an iWitness?

Gingafer81 Report

Dian Ella Lillie
Community Member
3 years ago

I wonder whether the iFB would iNvestigate...

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#26

Company Mergers

Did you hear the news? FedEx and UPS are merging. They’re going to go by the name Fed-Up from now on.

AshleyJack Report

Adam Cantor
Community Member
3 years ago

That ok, today i heard Youtube, Twitter, and Facebook are all merging. They're going to call it You-Twit-Face.

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#27

Untrustworthy Particles

Don't trust atoms. They make up everything!

letrollface1279 Report

thepotatogirl
Community Member
3 years ago

BILL NYE THE SCIENCE GUY

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#28

Name-Giving

I told my son I was named after Thomas Jefferson… He said, “But dad, your name is Brian.” I said, “I know, but I was named AFTER Thomas Jefferson.”

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Wyndmere
Community Member
3 years ago

Is this the same Brian who believes his kids thinks his name is Mark?

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#29

Magician Dad

KID: "Dad, make me a sandwich!" DAD: "Poof, you’re a sandwich!”

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K. LNU
Community Member
3 years ago

Yup. This one has got to be from my dad.

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#30

Invisible Man

Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer? He couldn't see himself doing it.

DeathEater101 Report

nether man
Community Member
3 years ago

so sad

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#31

Server's Nightmare

SERVER: "Sorry about your wait." DAD: "Are you saying I’m fat?”

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Caroline Beale
Community Member
3 years ago

hahahah this one literally made me lol

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#32

No More Butts

What has two butts and kills people? An assassin

LeCrowing Report

Daniel Wee
Community Member
3 years ago

lollll

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#33

Happy Anniversary

What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday? AYE MATEY

Muter Report

Ian Taggart
Community Member
3 years ago

I had to say it out loud.

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#34

Would You Like A Bag?

CASHIER: "Would you like the milk in a bag, sir?" DAD: "No, just leave it in the carton!’”

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earringnut
Community Member
3 years ago

*insert joke about Canada here*

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#35

Pros And Cons

What's the best part about living in Switzerland? I don't know, but the flag is a big plus.

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Monika Soffronow
Community Member
3 years ago

It certainly is.

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#36

Ice Cream Truck

When an ambulance zips past with its siren blaring: "They won’t sell much ice cream driving that fast.”

IABDPresents Report

TrAsh
Community Member
3 years ago

Eye scream, you scream, we all scream....cause we're bleeding out.

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#37

Ever Rolling

If Snoop Dogg dies before pot becomes legal in the US, he will be rolling in his grave.

porichoygupto Report

Christopher Dixon
Community Member
3 years ago

Wow guys. He will be rolling (joints made out of pot) while in his grave. Please man, just...just get it.

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#38

Magic Spells

What do you call a dog that can do magic? A Labracadabrador.

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elllie
Community Member
2 years ago

labracadabracanadabrador = canadian magic dog

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#39

Math Problems

5/4 of people admit that they’re bad with fractions.

jnnx3 Report

Monty Is Fiennes
Community Member
3 years ago

They're just being vulgar....

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#40

Feeling Tired

Why couldn't the bike standup by itself? It was two tired.

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earringnut
Community Member
3 years ago

Both a pun and the physical explanation.

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#41

Funny Dad Jokes

What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea!

ElderCunningham Report

Iván Galarraga
Community Member
3 years ago

DontSeemedeerly?

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#42

Funny Dad Jokes

GRANDPA: I have a 'dad bod', DAD: To me it's more like a father figure.

maryfountain Report

Lexi Burnsed
Community Member
3 years ago

heheheheheahhaa good one

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#43

Funny Dad Jokes

What time did the man go to the dentist? Tooth hurt-y.

smithy2004 Report

Mindi Macsurak
Community Member
2 years ago

My dad said that one all the time

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#44

Funny Dad Jokes

When a dad drives past a cow pasture: LOOK! That cow is OUT-STANDING in his field!

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Rose the Cook
Community Member
3 years ago

Her field surely.

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#45

Funny Dad Jokes

What’s Forrest Gump’s password? 1forrest1

BombOmbBuddy Report

Monika Soffronow
Community Member
3 years ago

If you don't get it, please see a speech therapist...

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#46

Funny Dad Jokes

I used to have a job at a calendar factory but I got the sack because I took a couple of days off.

TheSupraDixk Report

Siddharth Rath
Community Member
3 years ago

*grinnnnnnn*

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#47

Funny Dad Jokes

When you ask a dad if he's alright: "No, I’m half left.”

Admblackhawk Report

Alex Bailey
Community Member
3 years ago

Defo my dad. If you said 'what?' To him he would also say 'no I'm not hot thanks'.

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#48

Funny Dad Jokes

KID: "Hey, I was thinking…" DAD: "I thought I smelled something burning.”

AshleyJack Report

Dian Ella Lillie
Community Member
3 years ago

I used to say this to my sisters. They never laughed... :-)

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#49

Funny Dad Jokes

A termite walks into a bar and asks, "Is the bar tender here?"

BradC Report

Moe Less
Community Member
3 years ago

Not so much, but edible.

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#50

Funny Dad Jokes

Two guys walk into a bar, the third one ducks.

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Bob Beltcher
Community Member
3 years ago

I used to say this one. Never got a laugh lol.

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#51

Funny Dad Jokes

How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten-tickles.

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Napo Allenius-Tapiovaara
Community Member
3 years ago

at school octopuses take testicles.

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#52

Funny Dad Jokes

SON: *hands my Dad his 50th birthday card*, DAD: You know, one would have been enough.

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wolf cub snow
Community Member
2 years ago

*double sigh*

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#53

Funny Dad Jokes

When a woman is giving birth, she is literally kidding.

ownworldman Report

Bob Beltcher
Community Member
3 years ago

Go ahead, tell that to her while she's giving birth.

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#54

Funny Dad Jokes

A ham sandwich walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry we don’t serve food here."

bobbyperuse Report

Dian Ella Lillie
Community Member
3 years ago

A string walks into a bar with a few friends and orders a beer. The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve strings here." The string goes back to his table. He ties himself in a loop and messes up the top of his hair. He walks back up to the bar and orders a beer. The bartender squints at him and says, "Hey, aren't you a string?" The string says, "Nope, I'm a frayed knot."

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#55

Funny Dad Jokes

Can February March? No, but April May!

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Dian Ella Lillie
Community Member
3 years ago

Why was six sad? Because seven eight nine.

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#56

Funny Dad Jokes

What did the buffalo say to his son when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

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Wyndmere
Community Member
3 years ago

classic punning

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#57

Funny Dad Jokes

Why did the crab never share? Because he's shellfish.

Mr_McMuffins Report

Jason Chebe
Community Member
2 years ago

why did the fisherman never SHARES? BECAUSE HE SELLFISH

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#58

Funny Dad Jokes

To call the whole Elon Musk controversy “Elon-Gate” seems like a bit of a stretch.

JuIius_Seizure95 Report

Unknown
Community Member
2 years ago

his full name is Elongated Muskrat

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#59

Funny Dad Jokes

Two peanuts were walking down the street. One was a salted.

ConcaveMishap Report

Siddharth Rath
Community Member
3 years ago

Is he ok?

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#60

Funny Dad Jokes

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef. If the cow has no legs, then it’s ground beef.

allmyritz Report

ta ham
Community Member
3 years ago

What do you call a dead fly? A flew….

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#61

Funny Dad Jokes

I just watched a documentary about beavers. It was the best dam show I ever saw!

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Moe Less
Community Member
3 years ago

In 4th grade I wrote a story of beavers making small "damns." Teacher did not notice. Maybe afraid to notice...

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#62

Funny Dad Jokes

What is Beethoven’s favorite fruit? A ba-na-na-na.

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Caleigh
Community Member
3 years ago

You’re lying if you didn’t read that like the song.

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#63

Funny Dad Jokes

When you ask a dad if they got a haircut: "No, I got them all cut!"

KEERTHIVLOGS Report

bailey gough
Community Member
2 years ago

What did the guy say when he arrived in Antartica? Well that wasn't a warm welcome

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#64

Funny Dad Jokes

Where did the college-aged vampire like to shop? Forever 21.

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Spirit Animations
Community Member
3 years ago

*a vampire that could use their time being immortal to research cancer* you know what? I'm going to the mall today!

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#65

Funny Dad Jokes

GROCERY STORE CHECKER: "Paper or plastic?" DAD: "Either, I’m bisacktual.”

AshleyJack Report

Elijah Bradshaw
Community Member
2 years ago

guess i'll just die then

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#66

Funny Dad Jokes

What did the horse say after it tripped? "Help! I’ve fallen and I can’t giddyup!”

AshleyJack Report

My O My
Community Member
3 years ago

Giddyup giddyup giddyup let's go *singing

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#67

Funny Dad Jokes

You know what the loudest pet you can get is? A trumpet.

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Adham Magdy
Community Member
3 years ago

dammm

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#68

Funny Dad Jokes

Why wasn't the woman happy with the velcro she bought? It was a total ripoff.

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MAGZOFFICIAL
Community Member
3 years ago

The shovel was a ground-breaking invention.

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#69

Funny Dad Jokes

What noise does a 747 make when it bounces? Boeing, Boeing, Boeing.

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Bradley Buma
Community Member
3 years ago

haha 69

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#70

Funny Dad Jokes

I hear it's easy to get ladies not to eat Tide pods. It's more difficult to deter gents, though.

Boomkiller Report

Zoe Page
Community Member
3 years ago

why do bees have sticky hair? Because they use a honey combs

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#71

Funny Dad Jokes

What do you call a factory that sells passable products? A satisfactory.

TotalBuilder45 Report

MAGZOFFICIAL
Community Member
3 years ago

nope *looks at more dad jokes cus i have no life*

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#72

Funny Dad Jokes

A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection. Judge says, "First offender?" She says, "No, first a Gibson! Then a Fender!”

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Gabriel Liburdi
Community Member
2 years ago

I'm guessing that a Gibson and a Fender are Guitars

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#73

Funny Dad Jokes

Did you hear about the circus fire? It was in tents!

ROTFLandmines Report

Deacon DeSchepper
Community Member
3 years ago

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

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#74

Funny Dad Jokes

You're American when you go into the bathroom, and you're American when you come out, but do you know what you are while you're in there? European.

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Tyler Ittai Anthony
Community Member
3 years ago

First you Russian...then European...then Finnish

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#75

Funny Dad Jokes

I’m only familiar with 25 letters in the English language. I don’t know why.

IsaiaHarris03 Report