Trying to determine what makes a good (or bad) dad joke is not so easy, but there are some certain ingredients that we can name. First of all, the one-liner has to be administered by a dad (not necessarily your own), it has to be both corny and somewhat amusing, and most of all it just has to have a hackneyed pun to make it the best joke ever. Although not everyone is a big fan of that type of comedy gold, there is a certain amount of appreciation any person can have for a well-timed funny pun. Especially if it's followed by thunderous laughter from the person and the classic finger-guns pose.
Oh, and if you're a dad joke aficionado like we are, you might be surprised to know, as to where these inappropriate jokes stem from. So, the first theory is because your beloved father just feels nostalgic to those times when you were little and laughed at just about anything. The other approach for these hilarious jokes is a much more anticipated one - your father wants to embarrass you as much as he can while he can. And that's precisely what these funny jokes are meant to do.
Scroll down below to see some of the best funny dad jokes around and don't forget to comment and vote for your favorites.
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Can I Have A Book Mark?
Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears. 11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian.
Does anyone else read these because their dads left them when they were younger and now they want to get the experience of having a dad too?
i read over this 4000000 times and im just now getting this....lol ME=STUPID
Ok what is orange and sounds like a parrot??? ..........., a carrot🤪
Wow he just asked for a book mark its not like he did not know your name.
Wow he just asked for a book mark why did you think he did not know your name.
i'll slap the hell out of him and say i am suprised but, i ain't no book mark
Wanna play fun games play ROBLOX ohhhhhh click this https://web.roblox.com
Does anyone else read these because their dads left when they were young so they can get the experience?
he wanted a bookmark- one word. He wasn't asking for a book from Mark
I don't know what's funnier, the joke or your weird comment.
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Can i have a book, Mark? Hey, son, my name is Brian.
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Tbh when I heard "Book mark" I thought he was going to hit him with a book....
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cat said lets water the plant becuase it is our job.Sam says no and pours coca cola in the plant.cat says no the plant might have diabutties
does me no good since my name is Mark. guess I could respond with " sure. (hand her a book) and say "here you go. but next time , I'd prefer you call me daddy
This joke is funny, but a couple of months ago I bought a box of what I thought was a box of dad jokes was actually a deck of cards😪
i just told my dad that joke and he looked at me and was like 😕 and than after 3 mins he was like 😏
omg.... so cringe XD But it's perfect for his Christmas gift XD I made him a box of dad quotes and dad jokes. Is that a good idea? Lol
listen to this joke to people were at a dance one of the guys had a wood eye the other guy was normal. the guy with a wooden eye wanted to dance with a girl that had a peg leg. the guy went over and asked, "do you wanna dance". the girl was surprised so she would eye would eye but the guy took it the wrong way so he started saying peg leg peg leg.
how do you know that your name isn't Mark and you forgot
I didn't get it until I had my dad read it out to me... I am a failure.
Hey these Dad Jokes are great Also if your looking for even more awesome dad joke i found this cool site that has some pretty great ones hope you enjoy! :) http://www.lucaswall.ca/dad-jokes/
While in a grocery with my SO we bought one item. The cashier asked him if he wanted a bag. He put his hand on my shoulder and said "No thanks. I brought my own."
i told this to me fam and class they thought iit was bad and then dey lafed
I have a joke why didn't the skeleton go to the dance? because he had o body to go with
Why are stars better than hamburgers? Hamburgers are meaty, but stars are a little meteor.
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Sense Of Direction
My wife is really mad at the fact that I have no sense of direction. So I packed up my stuff and right.
Perfect Pun
DAD: I was just listening to the radio on my way in to town, apparently an actress just killed herself.
MOM: Oh my! Who!?
DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something?
MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????
DAD: No, it was with a knife...
Holy Water
How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.
Trippy Shoes
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!
Origin Of French Fries
Did you know the first French fries weren't actually cooked in France? They were cooked in Greece.
Nap Time Puns
If a child refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest?
Donald Duck
The secret service isn't allowed to yell "Get down!" anymore when the president is about to be attacked. Now they have to yell "Donald, duck!"
Concepts Of Gravity
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!
Nobody Knows
What do you call someone with no body and no nose? Nobody knows.
Which Came First?
I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I’ll let you know
Least Spoken Language
What is the least spoken language in the world? Sign language
Conversation Starter
My daughter screeched, "Daaaaaad, you haven't listened to one word I've said, have you!?" What a strange way to start a conversation with me...
Pie Rates
A slice of apple pie is $2.50 in Jamaica and $3.00 in the Bahamas. These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.
Single Handedly The Best
My wife tried to unlatch our daughter's car seat with one hand and said, "How do one armed mothers do it?" Without missing a beat I replied, "Single handedly."
Dying To Get There
When a dad drives past a graveyard: Did you know that's a popular cemetery? Yep, people are just dying to get in there!
There's an interesting fact about the cemetery in my area - it's the dead centre of the town.
Meaning Well
My friend keeps saying "cheer up man it could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water." I know he means well.
Serving Justice
Justice is a dish best served cold, if it were served warm it would be justwater.
Sir Arthur's Knights
The fattest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
Logical Explanation
MOM: "How do I look?" DAD: "With your eyes."
Silent P
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because the pee is silent.
Vegetarian Zombie
What does a zombie vegetarian eat? “GRRRAAAAAIIIINNNNS!”
Excited For Spring
Spring is here! I got so excited I wet my plants!
Witnessing A Robery
If you see a robbery at an Apple Store does that make you an iWitness?
Company Mergers
Did you hear the news? FedEx and UPS are merging. They’re going to go by the name Fed-Up from now on.
That ok, today i heard Youtube, Twitter, and Facebook are all merging. They're going to call it You-Twit-Face.
Untrustworthy Particles
Don't trust atoms. They make up everything!
Name-Giving
I told my son I was named after Thomas Jefferson… He said, “But dad, your name is Brian.” I said, “I know, but I was named AFTER Thomas Jefferson.”
Magician Dad
KID: "Dad, make me a sandwich!" DAD: "Poof, you’re a sandwich!”
Invisible Man
Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer? He couldn't see himself doing it.
Server's Nightmare
SERVER: "Sorry about your wait." DAD: "Are you saying I’m fat?”
No More Butts
What has two butts and kills people? An assassin
Happy Anniversary
What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday? AYE MATEY
Would You Like A Bag?
CASHIER: "Would you like the milk in a bag, sir?" DAD: "No, just leave it in the carton!’”
Pros And Cons
What's the best part about living in Switzerland? I don't know, but the flag is a big plus.
Ice Cream Truck
When an ambulance zips past with its siren blaring: "They won’t sell much ice cream driving that fast.”
Ever Rolling
If Snoop Dogg dies before pot becomes legal in the US, he will be rolling in his grave.
Wow guys. He will be rolling (joints made out of pot) while in his grave. Please man, just...just get it.
Math Problems
5/4 of people admit that they’re bad with fractions.
Feeling Tired
Why couldn't the bike standup by itself? It was two tired.
Funny Dad Jokes
What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea!
Funny Dad Jokes
GRANDPA: I have a 'dad bod', DAD: To me it's more like a father figure.
Funny Dad Jokes
What time did the man go to the dentist? Tooth hurt-y.
Funny Dad Jokes
When a dad drives past a cow pasture: LOOK! That cow is OUT-STANDING in his field!
Funny Dad Jokes
What’s Forrest Gump’s password? 1forrest1
Funny Dad Jokes
I used to have a job at a calendar factory but I got the sack because I took a couple of days off.
Funny Dad Jokes
When you ask a dad if he's alright: "No, I’m half left.”
Defo my dad. If you said 'what?' To him he would also say 'no I'm not hot thanks'.
Funny Dad Jokes
KID: "Hey, I was thinking…" DAD: "I thought I smelled something burning.”
Funny Dad Jokes
A termite walks into a bar and asks, "Is the bar tender here?"
Funny Dad Jokes
Two guys walk into a bar, the third one ducks.
Funny Dad Jokes
How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten-tickles.
Funny Dad Jokes
SON: *hands my Dad his 50th birthday card*, DAD: You know, one would have been enough.
Funny Dad Jokes
When a woman is giving birth, she is literally kidding.
Funny Dad Jokes
A ham sandwich walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry we don’t serve food here."
A string walks into a bar with a few friends and orders a beer. The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve strings here." The string goes back to his table. He ties himself in a loop and messes up the top of his hair. He walks back up to the bar and orders a beer. The bartender squints at him and says, "Hey, aren't you a string?" The string says, "Nope, I'm a frayed knot."
Funny Dad Jokes
What did the buffalo say to his son when he dropped him off at school? Bison.
Funny Dad Jokes
To call the whole Elon Musk controversy “Elon-Gate” seems like a bit of a stretch.
Funny Dad Jokes
Two peanuts were walking down the street. One was a salted.
Funny Dad Jokes
What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef. If the cow has no legs, then it’s ground beef.
Funny Dad Jokes
I just watched a documentary about beavers. It was the best dam show I ever saw!
Funny Dad Jokes
What is Beethoven’s favorite fruit? A ba-na-na-na.
Funny Dad Jokes
When you ask a dad if they got a haircut: "No, I got them all cut!"
What did the guy say when he arrived in Antartica? Well that wasn't a warm welcome
Funny Dad Jokes
Where did the college-aged vampire like to shop? Forever 21.
*a vampire that could use their time being immortal to research cancer* you know what? I'm going to the mall today!
Funny Dad Jokes
GROCERY STORE CHECKER: "Paper or plastic?" DAD: "Either, I’m bisacktual.”
Funny Dad Jokes
What did the horse say after it tripped? "Help! I’ve fallen and I can’t giddyup!”
Funny Dad Jokes
You know what the loudest pet you can get is? A trumpet.
Funny Dad Jokes
Why wasn't the woman happy with the velcro she bought? It was a total ripoff.
Funny Dad Jokes
What noise does a 747 make when it bounces? Boeing, Boeing, Boeing.
Funny Dad Jokes
I hear it's easy to get ladies not to eat Tide pods. It's more difficult to deter gents, though.
Funny Dad Jokes
What do you call a factory that sells passable products? A satisfactory.
Funny Dad Jokes
A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection. Judge says, "First offender?" She says, "No, first a Gibson! Then a Fender!”
Funny Dad Jokes
Did you hear about the circus fire? It was in tents!
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Funny Dad Jokes
You're American when you go into the bathroom, and you're American when you come out, but do you know what you are while you're in there? European.
Funny Dad Jokes
I’m only familiar with 25 letters in the English language. I don’t know why.