People Are Cracking Up At These 30 Dad Jokes As Found On The Internet
Dads, the New Balance-wearing heroes, the Bermuda shorts-clad supporters, and the slightly protruding pouch-donning meat smokers. Dads are almost like some mythical beings seeing no shortcomings of wearing THE sock and sandal combo, while everyone else shies away from this fashion fiasco as if it would cost their lives. They will pinch your arm if you have a boo-boo on your knee and tell you, ‘Well, THAT doesn’t hurt anymore, does it?’ and they will also remind you your whole life of that one time you stuck a finger in a lawn chair filigree and couldn’t pull it out. However, they will also be there to support you no matter what and will often make even the gravest atmosphere lighter with that universal sense of humor typical only for Fathers. Yup, it’s the dad jokes that turn a man into a father, and it’s the dad jokes that will forever make you groan, cringe, and blow a raspberry. But admit it, you like it, and so do we.
And somehow, only dads can get away with these silly jokes - maybe it’s because they have no fear of embarrassment or maybe because of their mythical Dad Powers that can turn even the lamest joke into an uproarious event. This we have no answer to, and the only thing we can do upon hearing such a joke is to try not to roll our eyes so hard they fall out of their sockets. But let’s get to the point here - while you might think that the dad joke is the most exploited category of jokes ever, let us remind you that the generations of fathers are changing, thus spawning newer, fresher, and even more cringy jokes constantly. That’s why we’ve gathered a list of the best dad jokes that came to the Internets just recently and are offering it to you!
Now, you know what to do - do some warm-up exercises for your facial muscles in preparation to frown, chortle, and snort and scroll down below to check the au courant dose of dad jokes. Then, vote for the silly jokes that made you spill your coffee in exasperation and share these dad-isms with your friends!
I wish Covid-19 had started in Las Vegas. Because what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.
I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I'll let you know.
I asked my date to meet me at the gym but she never showed up. I guess the two of us aren't going to work out.
When I was a kid, my mother told me I could be anyone I wanted to be. Turns out, identity theft is a crime.
Air used to be free at the gas station, now it's $1.50. You know why?
My wife said I was immature. So I told her to get out of my fort.
An apple a day keeps the doctor away. At least it does if you throw it hard enough.
Not to brag, but I defeated our local chess champion in less than five moves. Finally, my high school karate lessons paid off.
I hate it when people say age is only a number. Age is clearly a word.
I used to run a dating service for chickens. But I was struggling to make hens meet.
Which days are the strongest?
Saturday and Sunday. The rest are weekdays.
I invented a new word today: plagiarism!
I tell dad jokes but I have no kids…I'm a faux pa!
Can February march?
No, but April may!
My wife told me I had to stop acting like a flamingo. So I had to put my foot down!
A cheese factory exploded in France. Da brie is everywhere!
I just watched all the Harry Potter movies back to back with a friend. It maybe wasn't the best idea, because it meant I couldn't see the TV.
I'm so good at sleeping I can do it with my eyes closed!
Why do trees seem suspicious on sunny days?
They just seem a little shady!
My uncle named his dogs Rolex and Timex. They're his watch dogs!
Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field!
Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?
Great food, no atmosphere!
Why couldn't the astronaut land on the moon?
Because it was full.
Why don't skeletons ever go trick or treating?
Because they have no body to go with!
I think my wife is putting glue on my antique weapons collection. She denies it but I'm sticking to my guns!
If towels could tell jokes, I think they'd have a very dry sense of humor.
Imagine if you walked into a bar and there was a long line of people waiting to take a swing at you. That's the punch line.
This graveyard looks overcrowded. People must be dying to get in there!
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use a honeycomb.
Note: this post originally had 149 images. It’s been shortened to the top 30 images based on user votes.