Despite birthday clowns and stand-up comedians dominating the scene, we all know that the best jokesters are dads with their punny humor and groan-inducing quips. Although not everyone is a big fan of that type of comedy gold, there is a certain amount of appreciation any person can have for a well-timed pun. Especially if it's followed by thunderous laughter from the person and the classic finger-guns pose. Scroll down below to see some of the best dad jokes around and don't forget to comment and vote for your favorites.

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Oh, and if you're a dad joke aficionado, like we are, you (or your father) might love this funny mug designed by Bored Panda. Click here to check it out and we're sure it will put a smile on your mug. (Facebook cover image: Rosino)


Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears. 11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian.

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JillVille 3 weeks ago

So sorry Brian, one day he'll get it! lol

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My wife is really mad at the fact that I have no sense of direction. So I packed up my stuff and right.

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DAD: I was just listening to the radio on my way in to town, apparently an actress just killed herself.

MOM: Oh my! Who!?

DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something?

MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????

DAD: No, it was with a knife...

Alessia_Fisher Report

JillVille 3 weeks ago

Groan - nice one!

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How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.

tymoski Report

Last Hurrah 3 weeks ago

Freeze it and then drill holes in it.

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I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!

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glowworm2 3 weeks ago

Ha! I like this one.

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Did you know the first French fries weren't actually cooked in France? They were cooked in Greece.

somekindahuman Report

Molly Tallmadge 3 weeks ago

^&*((&^%%^&*( IT!

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If a child refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest?

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Iván Galarraga 3 weeks ago


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The secret service isn't allowed to yell "Get down!" anymore when the president is about to be attacked. Now they have to yell "Donald, duck!"

ldrescher Report

Alexis Nobuyuki 1 week ago

Pfft! Corny

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I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!

raheel1122 Report

Iván Galarraga 3 weeks ago

You must obey gravity, it's the law

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What do you call someone with no body and no nose? Nobody knows.

Lee_Hey_pat Report

Iván Galarraga 3 weeks ago

He's on third base, no wait, that's I don't know

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I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I’ll let you know

JohnathanWickers Report

Lynn Noyes 2 weeks ago

Re the riddle, eggs came first. Dinosaurs laid eggs.

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What is the least spoken language in the world? Sign language

A_Sea_Cucumber Report

Rebekah 2 weeks ago

Dammit - you got me.


My daughter screeched, "Daaaaaad, you haven't listened to one word I've said, have you!?" What a strange way to start a conversation with me...

madazzahatter Report

Misterscooter 2 weeks ago



A slice of apple pie is $2.50 in Jamaica and $3.00 in the Bahamas. These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.

porichoygupto Report

Dian Ella Lillie 2 weeks ago

"Jamaica pie?" "Nah, that's a Bahama split."

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My wife tried to unlatch our daughter's car seat with one hand and said, "How do one armed mothers do it?" Without missing a beat I replied, "Single handedly."

thunderup_14 Report

JillVille 3 weeks ago


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When a dad drives past a graveyard: Did you know that's a popular cemetery? Yep, people are just dying to get in there!

AshleyJack Report

Dian Ella Lillie 2 weeks ago

There's an interesting fact about the cemetery in my area - it's the dead centre of the town.

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My friend keeps saying "cheer up man it could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water." I know he means well.

StewPaddasso Report

Leah Curtis 2 weeks ago

I don't get this one.

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Justice is a dish best served cold, if it were served warm it would be justwater.

Spider_Dimwit Report

BlackestDawn 3 weeks ago

*groans* took me a few secs to get it but, well done.

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The fattest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

omgthatspunny Report

Steven H 2 weeks ago

I knew you'd get "a round" to that joke...

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MOM: "How do I look?" DAD: "With your eyes."


mhubert10 3 weeks ago

adopting this one

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because the pee is silent.

Capetoider Report

My O My 1 week ago


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What does a zombie vegetarian eat? “GRRRAAAAAIIIINNNNS!”

PolesawPolska Report

S. 2 weeks ago

Imagine the zombie apocalypse beginning, but it's just annoying zombies stealing your bread. “FRED! THE DEAD EFFAHS STOLE MAH CEREAL AGAIN ” ”well, at least we now know they're actually made of grain, honey.”

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Spring is here! I got so excited I wet my plants!

mblondie Report

PeachPossum 2 weeks ago

At least you didn't SOIL them

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3 unwritten rules of life...

madazzahatter Report

earringnut 2 weeks ago

This one literally just made me laugh out loud.

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If you see a robbery at an Apple Store does that make you an iWitness?

Gingafer81 Report

Dian Ella Lillie 2 weeks ago

I wonder whether the iFB would iNvestigate...


Did you hear the news? FedEx and UPS are merging. They’re going to go by the name Fed-Up from now on.

AshleyJack Report

Adam Cantor 3 weeks ago

That ok, today i heard Youtube, Twitter, and Facebook are all merging. They're going to call it You-Twit-Face.

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Don't trust atoms. They make up everything!

letrollface1279 Report

thepotatogirl 2 weeks ago


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I told my son I was named after Thomas Jefferson… He said, “But dad, your name is Brian.” I said, “I know, but I was named AFTER Thomas Jefferson.”

madazzahatter Report

Wyndmere 2 weeks ago

Is this the same Brian who believes his kids thinks his name is Mark?

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KID: "Dad, make me a sandwich!" DAD: "Poof, you’re a sandwich!”

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K. LNU 3 weeks ago

Yup. This one has got to be from my dad.

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Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer? He couldn't see himself doing it.

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My O My 1 week ago (edited)

Now that's bad


SERVER: "Sorry about your wait." DAD: "Are you saying I’m fat?”


Caroline Beale 3 days ago

hahahah this one literally made me lol


What has two butts and kills people? An assassin

LeCrowing Report

Daniel Wee 2 weeks ago


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What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday? AYE MATEY

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Happiness is Hippo 2 weeks ago

I’m sure I’ve had this one from my Dad :D

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CASHIER: "Would you like the milk in a bag, sir?" DAD: "No, just leave it in the carton!’”

ChiePie Report

earringnut 2 weeks ago

*insert joke about Canada here*

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What's the best part about living in Switzerland? I don't know, but the flag is a big plus.

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Monika Soffronow 2 weeks ago

It certainly is.

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When an ambulance zips past with its siren blaring: "They won’t sell much ice cream driving that fast.”

IABDPresents Report

TrAsh 2 weeks ago

Eye scream, you scream, we all scream....cause we're bleeding out.


If Snoop Dogg dies before pot becomes legal in the US, he will be rolling in his grave.

porichoygupto Report

WingedPug 2 weeks ago

I don't get it.

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What do you call a dog that can do magic? A Labracadabrador.

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Michael awdry 2 weeks ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

How to pronounce : lab- are - ca - dab- ra- dor

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5/4 of people admit that they’re bad with fractions.

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Monty Is Fiennes 2 weeks ago

They're just being vulgar....

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Why couldn't the bike standup by itself? It was two tired.

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earringnut 2 weeks ago

Both a pun and the physical explanation.

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