All of us—well, most of us—love to travel. Seeing new places, meeting new people, and feeling a whirlwind of emotions whenever you find yourself somewhere you have never been before or return to a place you hold dear in your heart.
Each country—and even every city—has its own vibe and some characteristics that make it unique. Often, the same traits are also grounds for jokes. Making funny jokes about countries and their various features is absolutely fine as long as you aren’t rude to anyone.
Always remember that it is somebody’s homeland, and what seems really funny to you might be insulting to them. That being said, it doesn’t mean you should never tell jokes in company. Funny jokes or puns about countries are a great way to break the ice, spend time, and even get to know each other better.
Image credits: Magdalena Smolnicka
Hilarious Puns About Countries That Travel Beyond Boundaries
Country puns can range from great subtle humor to country dad jokes and everything in between. You may even throw in some adult puns every now and then—just make sure it is appropriate for the audience. You don’t have to be a geography expert to make or even understand funny country jokes, but knowing something about the world and having some traveling experience definitely enhances the quality of the jokes.
So whether you are a seasoned traveler, are just planning your first trip, or are a dedicated geography enthusiast, enjoy this collection of funny country jokes we gathered for you.
This post may include affiliate links.
A British man is visiting Australia. The customs agent asks him, āDo you have a criminal record?ā The British man replies, āI didnāt think you needed one to get into Australia anymore.ā
England doesnāt have a kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.
A slice of apple pie is $2.50 in Jamaica and $3.00 in the Bahamas.
These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.
One day Canada will rule the worldā¦
Then youāll all be sorry.
Whatās the best thing about Switzerland?
I don't know, but the flag is a big plus.
Why do the French eat snails?
They don't like fast food.
Amsterdam is a lot like the Tour de France. Just a lot of people on drugs riding bikes.
I asked my friend in North Korea how he was. He said he canāt complain.
What do you call a vegan Viking?
A Norvegan!
How do you get a Canadian to apologize?
Step on their foot.
Want to hear a Swedish joke?
Nevermind. Thereās Norway I could Finnish it.
Which countryās capital is growing the fastest?
Ireland. Every day itās Dublin.
How does every Russian joke start?
By looking over your shoulder.
What does the Loch Ness monster eat?
Fish and ships.
Why haven't Americans changed their weighing method from pounds to kilograms?
Because they don't want mass confusion!
What do frogs eat in Paris?
French flies.
An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman enter a bar. The Englishmen wanted to go, so they all had to leave.
What do you call a bee that lives in America?
A USB.
What kind of birds can you find in Portugal?
Portugeese.
What is the most common scam in Egypt?
Pyramid schemes.
What happened to the American who went to the hospital with a broken leg?
He went broke.
Why do bagpipe players walk while they play?
To get away from the noise.
Did you hear about the Italian chef that died?
He pasta way.
That is true, in Italy we say people āpasta wayā, because no one knows how to pronounce English
Two very old men of European nationality meet
While talking, one asks: "You watching the football game?"
The other says: "Who's playing?"
"Austria-Hungary", says the first.
"Against whom?"
What was the most popular kidsā movie in Ancient Greece?
Troy Story.
Is "Africa" by Toto a country song?
No, it's a continent song.
Why do all Swedish military ships have bar codes on them?
So when the come to port, they can just Scan da navy in!
Germany once organized the International Fun Conference.
It wasn't funny but it was indeed well organized.
An introverted Finn looks at his shoes when talking to you; an extroverted Finn looks at your shoes.
What did the Kiwi say to the Rabbi?
Hee Broo.
What are Greek houses made out of?
Greeks and con-Crete!
Hold up... the Greek houses are made of Greeks themselves? worker: oh yeah, let's take this guy here and just mix him into the conCrete. That's fine.
How was copper wire invented?
Two Scotsmen fighting over a penny.
In Spain, there the same "joke" about two Catalonians fighting over a one-peseta coin
Why is it hard to make friends in Antarctica?
Because you can't break the ice.
A friend in Germany tells me everyoneās panic buying sausages and cheese.
Itās the Wurst KƤse scenario.
For those of you who don't understand: Wurst KƤse means Sausages and Cheese
Ever since my girlfriend moved to Siberia things haven't been the same.
She's so cold and distant.
What pan is the best to make sushi in?
Japan.
The Sahara Desert drifts into a bar and the bartender saysā¦
"Long time no sea."
What is the German word for constipation?
Farfrompoopin.
Did you hear about the Pole who thought his wife was trying to kill him? On her dressing table, he found a bottle of āPolish Remover.ā
What will an Australian chess player say to a Czech person while making the winning move?
Czech mate.
As above,, it's called Czechia now, probably because of these silly 'jokes'!
I've heard that Argentina is starting to get a little colder...
In fact, it's bordering on Chile.
What do you call a bunch of bullies from Malta?
Maltesers.
Why did the Dalai Lama go to Las Vegas?
Because he loves Tibet.
What happens when the smog lifts over Southern California?
U.C.L.A.
What did the Icelandic dog say?
Bjork Bjork.
What kind of car does an Icelandic person drive?
A Fjord.
Where do Australian animals go for vacation?
Koala Lumpur.
What is a favorite fantasy film of an Aussie?
The Wizard of Oz.
What do you call your angry French aunt?
A crossaunt.
We never stuck around long enough to call them anything. When the French aunts got angy we ran!
What do you call counterfeited German currency?
Question marks.
I watched a Hindu version of āHow I Met Your Mother.ā Thereās just one episode about the wedding.
My friend lived in a place that had six months of sunlight and six months of complete darkness. Man, there is Norway I can live there.
What is the name of the country where everyone counts things on their own?
It is the country of Italy.
"Eye tally" is what I came up with finally. ashamed to admit it took me far too long for this
What literally looks like half of North Korea?
South Korea!
What is the name of a bird's favorite country?
It's Turkey.
If frogs are from Greenland then, sharks are from Finland.
What are atheists called in India?
Naan believers.
Do you know why the new football stadium they built in Warsaw could not be used?
No matter where you sat, you were behind a Pole.
My parents were on a boat cruise in the Mediterranean Sea. When I arrived there unannounced, I Cyprus-ed them.
Why were the people at the bar confused by the Spanish southerner?
Because he kept talking in Espan-y'all.
I met this person on the internet. When I asked him where he was from, he said from Latin America. I replied, "I won't Bolivia until you show some proof!"
Iran.
Why?
Because I am Hungary.
What would you call Dwayne Johnson if he was from Malta?
Lava, because he would be the Maltan Rock.
Why wouldnāt the Statue of Liberty work in France?
Because she only has one arm raised.
What part of Iceland are you from?
Hallormsstadaskogur? Oh cool.
That might be funny if I could pronounce a word with 13 consecutive consonants.
During my vacation in Western Africa, I had an insatiable urge one morning Togo buy a meatball sandwich.
What did Tennessee see that left it speechless?
The same thing Arkansas.
After facing a problem in geography, Iraq-ed my brain for a solution but in the end, I couldn't find one.
In which place do people designate all the dens with a special sign?
They do that In Denmark!
As I was cruising around in the Caribbean, I asked my chef, "Did Jamaica me my special lunch?"
Puns for Your Travels
Did you find a joke about your country? Which joke made you laugh the most? Make sure to share your favorite one with us in the comments. Also, share this post with your friends across the globe so you can exchange jokes about each other’s countries and enjoy a laugh or two!
