100 Country Jokes To Kindle Your Wanderlust
All of us – well, most of us – love to travel. Seeing new places, meeting new people, feeling a whirlwind of emotions every time you find yourself somewhere you have never been before or return to a place you hold dear in your heart. Each country – and even every city in the country – has its own vibe, some characteristic traits that make it special. Often, the same traits are also grounds for jokes. Making a joke about a country and its various features is absolutely fine as long as you are not rude to anyone. Always remember that it is somebody’s homeland, and what seems really funny to you might be insulting to them.
That being said, it doesn’t mean you should never tell jokes in company. Funny jokes are a great way to break the ice, spend time, and even get to know each other better. Jokes about countries can range from great subtle humor to downright dad jokes and everything in between. You may even throw in some adult puns every now and then – just make sure it is appropriate for the audience. You don’t have to be a geography expert to make or even understand country jokes, but knowing something about the world and having some traveling experience definitely enhances the quality of the jokes.
So whether you are a seasoned traveler, are just planning your first trip, or are a dedicated geography enthusiast, enjoy this collection of country jokes we gathered for you. And make sure to share your favorite joke of the day with us in the comments!
Why do the French eat snails?
They don't like fast food.
England doesn’t have a kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.
I asked my friend in North Korea how he was. He said he can’t complain.
A slice of apple pie is $2.50 in Jamaica and $3.00 in the Bahamas.
These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.
Amsterdam is a lot like the Tour de France. Just a lot of people on drugs riding bikes.
Germany and France go to war. Who loses?
What do you call a vegan Viking?
How do you get a Canadian to apologize?
Step on their foot.
What’s the best thing about Switzerland?
I don't know, but the flag is a big plus.
What does the Loch Ness monster eat?
Fish and ships.
One day Canada will rule the world…
Then you’ll all be sorry.
A British man is visiting Australia. The customs agent asks him, “Do you have a criminal record?” The British man replies, “I didn’t think you needed one to get into Australia anymore.”
Want to hear a Swedish joke?
Nevermind. There’s Norway I could Finnish it.
What kind of birds can you find in Portugal?
Which country’s capital is growing the fastest?
Ireland. Every day it’s Dublin.
Why haven't Americans changed their weighing method from pounds to kilograms?
Because they don't want mass confusion!
What do frogs eat in Paris?
What was the most popular kids’ movie in Ancient Greece?
What do you call a bee that lives in America?
An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman enter a bar. The Englishmen wanted to go, so they all had to leave.
Why do bagpipe players walk while they play?
To get away from the noise.
Did you hear about the Italian chef that died?
He pasta way.
How does every Russian joke start?
By looking over your shoulder.
I have a Russian friend who’s a sound technician.
And a Czech one too. A Czech one too.
Is "Africa" by Toto a country song?
No, it's a continent song.
What happened to the American who went to the hospital with a broken leg?
He went broke.
What's Santa's nationality?
What is the most common scam in Egypt?
What are Greek houses made out of?
Greeks and con-Crete!
Ever since my girlfriend moved to Siberia things haven't been the same.
She's so cold and distant.
How was copper wire invented?
Two Scotsmen fighting over a penny.
Two very old men of European nationality meet
While talking, one asks: "You watching the football game?"
The other says: "Who's playing?"
"Austria-Hungary", says the first.
In which country is Prague located?
Hold on let me Czech.
An introverted Finn looks at his shoes when talking to you; an extroverted Finn looks at your shoes.
Did you hear about the Pole who thought his wife was trying to kill him? On her dressing table, he found a bottle of “Polish Remover.”
Why is it hard to make friends in Antarctica?
Because you can't break the ice.
A friend in Germany tells me everyone’s panic buying sausages and cheese.
It’s the Wurst Käse scenario.
Why do all Swedish military ships have bar codes on them?
So when the come to port, they can just Scan da navy in!
Germany once organized the International Fun Conference.
It wasn't funny but it was indeed well organized.
What pan is the best to make sushi in?
The Sahara Desert drifts into a bar and the bartender says…
"Long time no sea."
What do you call a rude Jamaican?
What did the Ancient Greeks wear on their feet?
What is a favorite fantasy film of an Aussie?
The Wizard of Oz.
What do you call a bunch of bullies from Malta?
Did you hear McDonalds will stop serving fries in Switzerland?
The Swiss don't take sides.
What did the Icelandic dog say?
Where do Australian animals go for vacation?
What will an Australian chess player say to a Czech person while making the winning move?
What do you call your angry French aunt?
I've heard that Argentina is starting to get a little colder...
In fact, it's bordering on Chile.
What do they call their kids in Belgium?
Why did the Dalai Lama go to Las Vegas?
Because he loves Tibet.
My friend lived in a place that had six months of sunlight and six months of complete darkness. Man, there is Norway I can live there.
What is the name of the country where everyone counts things on their own?
It is the country of Italy.
What is the name of that nation where you get fancy water?
What happens when the smog lifts over Southern California?
What genre are national anthems?
What kind of car does an Icelandic person drive?
I watched a Hindu version of “How I Met Your Mother.” There’s just one episode about the wedding.
What is the German word for constipation?
What do you call counterfeited German currency?
While experimenting with Asian and Latin American food, Iran out of Chile.
What is the name of a bird's favorite country?
What literally looks like half of North Korea?
Someone beat me up with a map of Belgium. Now I’m covered in Bruges.
Most countries is Asia are fake.
Only one Israel.
What blood type do people from Taiwan have?
What are atheists called in India?
Why were the people at the bar confused by the Spanish southerner?
Because he kept talking in Espan-y'all.
What do you call two Samoans on a roof?
What is the cookie capital of Brazil?
Oreo di Janiero.
Do you know why the new football stadium they built in Warsaw could not be used?
No matter where you sat, you were behind a Pole.
What type of photography do French photographers like?
Someone told me that French fries are from Belgium...
But they’re cooked in Greece!
What happens to the soldiers who are supposed to be deployed to Iraq?
They sit and Kuwait.
Why wouldn’t the Statue of Liberty work in France?
Because she only has one arm raised.
What's the only drink size they allow in North Korea?
A supreme liter.
My parents were on a boat cruise in the Mediterranean Sea. When I arrived there unannounced, I Cyprus-ed them.
I met this person on the internet. When I asked him where he was from, he said from Latin America. I replied, "I won't Bolivia until you show some proof!"
Because I am Hungary.
Where do crayons go on vacation?
If frogs are from Greenland then, sharks are from Finland.
Want my opinion on Mongolia?
It has its pros and Khans.
Why did the southerner visit Korea?
Because he wanted to eat Seoul food.
What did one kiwi statue say to the other kiwi statue?
What would you call an unidentified object which landed in Australia?
What would you call Dwayne Johnson if he was from Malta?
Lava, because he would be the Maltan Rock.
What part of Iceland are you from?
Hallormsstadaskogur? Oh cool.
During my vacation in Western Africa, I had an insatiable urge one morning Togo buy a meatball sandwich.
After facing a problem in geography, Iraq-ed my brain for a solution but in the end, I couldn't find one.
There was an Indie rock band that would only play in venues in the West Indies.
In which place do people designate all the dens with a special sign?
They do that In Denmark!
What do you call a Spanish matador who visits the continent of Latin America?
What did Tennessee see that left it speechless?
The same thing Arkansas.
What's a german's favorite number?
Which African state did Wall-E visit?
He visited Mali.
As I was cruising around in the Caribbean, I asked my chef, "Did Jamaica me my special lunch?"
How was the airport security in Los Angeles?