Hello fellow youth, this is your writer trying to address you in a manner that’s au currant, including shortened language (a.k.a. slang) words such as Gucci, lit, and yeet. Now, with that part out of the way, let’s talk about why we are gathered here - jokes for teens. While I, myself, have long grown out of the salad days of my youth, I do remember now that turmoil of teenagedom with equal parts of amusement and misery. And if at the time, the title ‘teenager’ was nothing to laugh about, it’s best to turn misgivings of your hormone-occupied brains into comedic relief. Trust the words of an old crone, although undoubtedly, you are scoffing at it right now because nobody understands you anyway. In my experience, any words of compassion seemed to make matters even worse than they already were, so let’s just skip the chase and go straight to these teenager-oriented jokes.
The topics of these clever jokes are simple but not simplified - it’s about maneuvering your ever-changing moods through the pressures of daily life, and it’s about the zits on your forehead. It’s also about yeeting the bad thoughts out of your head (did I use the term correctly, fellow youth?) and living your life as if it is lit and GOAT. Basically, all the pressing matters of your regular (sorry, exceptional, because nobody is as extra as you) teenager’s existence all presented in a lighthearted manner. To laugh is to live, and to live is to successfully conquer your adolescence.
Without any further attempts to flex my abilities on addressing the mint generation of teenyboppers, let’s just all scroll down below and check out these hilarious jokes for teens. Once you’ve finished relating to them, upvote the best jokes so that your comrades won’t have to scroll aaaaaaalllll the way down. We would also be lowkey turnt if you were to share this article with your friends in the same age group as you.
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How do you know when you’re desperate for an answer?
You look at the second page of Google search results.
What do you call security guards working outside Samsung shops?
Guardians of the Galaxy.
What’s the difference between ignorance and apathy?
I don’t know, and I don’t care.
Why can’t dinosaurs clap their hands?
Because they’re extinct.
I couldn’t figure out why the baseball kept getting larger.
Then it hit me.
If you have 13 apples in one hand and 10 oranges in the other, what do you have?
Big hands.
And you know what they say about people with big hands... They have a difficult time finding gloves.
Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon?
Because she’ll let it go!
What has four wheels and flies?
A garbage truck!
What about the Magic School Bus?? He has four wheels and he flies around
My boss told me yesterday, “You shouldn’t dress for the job you have, dress for the job you want.”
But when I turned up today in Ghostbusters clothes, he said I was fired.
The Ghostbusters were fired from their job before they started their Ghostbusters business. Your boss is doing the right thing!
Why did God supposedly make men before He made women?
Because everyone needs a rough draft.
What animal is the worst at hiding?
The leopard — he’s always spotted.
What kind of tea is hard to swallow?
Reali-tea.
What should you do when no one laughs at your chemistry jokes?
Keep going until you get a reaction.
I sold my vacuum the other day. All it was doing was collecting dust.
Why do pirates have to learn the alphabet?
If they don’t, they’ll be lost at C.
What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Finding half a worm in your apple.
This joke has been around as long as there've been apples... and worms.
What do you call hiking U.S. college students?
The walking debt.
What do you call a Minecraft meetup IRL?
A block party.
How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
Look for the fresh prints.
Why are spiders such know-it-alls?
They’re always on the web.
Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?
It’s okay. He woke up.
Why did the hipster burn his mouth?
He drank his coffee before it was cool.
A lot of people cry when they cut an onion. The trick is not to form an emotional bond.
What did Jay-Z call his girlfriend before getting married?
Feyoncè.
Why can’t you trust an atom?
Because they make up everything.
I thought I’d tell you a brilliant time-travel joke, but you didn’t like it.
I thought my neighbours were lovely people. Then they went and put a password on their wi-fi.
A science teacher tells his class, “Oxygen is a must for breathing and life. It was discovered in 1773.” A boy responds, “Thank God I was born after 1773! Otherwise I would have died without it.”
The difference between facts and opinions is that facts are true regardless of what anyone thinks
What side of a turkey has the most feathers?
The outside.
What did the man say when he walked into a bar?
Ouch!
What starts with E, ends with E, and has only one letter in it?
An envelope.
What does a high school basketball player and a jury have in common?
The Court.
The High Court judges apparently have a private basketball court on the building's upper level. They jokingly call that the Highest Court.
I think my algebra teacher is a pirate. All she ever wants to do is find X.
I read this as her ex and couldn't see what it has to do with pirates.
Why did the selfie go to prison?
It was framed.
What do you call high school kids who haven’t been able to go to school because of COVID-19?
Quaranteens.
Which hand is better to write with?
Neither. It’s better to write with a pencil!
What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back?
A stick.
What do you call an old snowman?
A puddle.
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use honey combs!
How did Benjamin Franklin feel when he discovered electricity?
Shocked!
What is the witch’s favorite school subject?
Spelling!
Why did Harry Potter suddenly go bald in his teens?
He lost his Hedwig.
Yeah, no, I'm not talking with a teen about why you would specify that a wig goes on a head.
Why do teenage girls travel in odd-numbered groups?
Because they can’t even.
What’s the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
Anyone can roast beef, but no one can pee soup.
I am forever going to remember this when I look at roast beef and pea soup…..
Why do pimples make horrible prisoners?
Because they keep breaking out!
What are two things you can’t have for breakfast?
Lunch and dinner.
Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building?
Of course! The Empire State Building can’t jump!
Why did the cookie go to the nurse?
Because he felt crummy!
What did one plate say to the other?
Dinner is on me!
What did the grape say when he was pinched?
Nothing, he gave a little wine.
What did the baby corn say to the mom corn?
“Where’s popcorn?”
Why do sharks swim in saltwater?
Because pepper water makes them sneeze!
Why’d the elementary students look up to the high schoolers?
Because they’re smaller, they don’t have a choice.
Some kids told me they’d give me $20 to hang out with them. Turns out it was just clique bait.
What is 97 + 41 + 42 + 164 + 91 + 7?
A headache.
Why was the math book bummed?
It had a lot of problems.
i've gotten far enough down they've started repeating. how charming. /s
What do you call a Star Wars droid that takes the long way around?
R2-Detour.
Why are eggs bad at telling jokes?
They always crack each other up.
What do you call a pig that does karate?
A pork chop.
Have you heard where the word “studying” came from?
Students-dying.
What do you give a sick lemon?
Lemon aid.
I tried writing with a broken pencil, but it was pointless.
Heard that first in black adder. Black adder- life without you is like a broken pencil Queenie- explain Black adder- pointless
I hate people who use big words just to make themselves look perspicacious.
What’s the difference between the ACT and SAT?
One letter.
Did you hear the story about the claustrophobic astronaut?
He just needed some space.
Why did the period tell the comma to stop?
It was the end of the sentence.
What did the duck say when he bought lipstick?
“Put it on my bill.”
What did the middle schooler say to the high schooler?
Nothing, they texted.
What kind of room doesn’t have doors?
A mushroom!
What is red, orange, and full of disappointment?
High school pizza.
What gets sharper the more you use it but dull if you don’t use it at all?
Students.
What do you get when you mix sulfer, tungsten, and silver?
SWAG.
What has two legs but can’t walk?
A pair of jeans.
Why did the boy throw his clock out the window?
Because he wanted to see time fly!
Did you get your hair cut?
No, I got them all cut.
What does a school and plant have in common?
STEM.
What do pre-teen ducks hate?
Voice quacks.
Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl in the bathroom?
Because it has a silent pee.
Why did Adele cross the road?
To sing, “Hello from the other side!”
What happened with Dracula when meeting a snowman?
They got frostbite.
Why do all judges get As in English class?
Because they know all about sentences.
What is the resemblance between a green apple and a red apple?
They’re both red except for the green one.