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50 People That Deserve An ‘Award’ For Their Witty And Unhinged Online Comments (New Pics)
The comment section sometimes can be a beautiful place. Sure, it can also be full of toxicity and vitriol, but it's where people make some of the funniest and most creative observations and clapbacks. Have you ever come across a comment so good you thought: "Well, this person certainly has a way with words." And maybe even deserves an award?
The creators of the Comment Awards Instagram account probably thought the same when they started collecting the most hilarious posts from the internet. We're nothing if not fans of skillfully crafted comments here at Bored Panda, so here are some posts from some truly funny people on the internet!
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Keith Lancaster 1 year ago
Could not have put it better myself. Thank you.
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Mash 1 year ago
Thr normalization of bigotry is just one of the results of the orange leader cult.
Slapdash1 1 year ago
You seriously haven't heard of Magic Johnson? He is one of the best basketball players of all time (hence the name). He's also one of the first, if not THE first sports star to come out as being HIV positive, way in the 1990s, which caused a lot of ruckus back then.
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Justin Tyme 1 year ago (edited)
So obviously you judge people based on their financial status. Is that a good idea?
Laura Parker 1 year ago
My Boomer people started ‘burn’ in the 70’s. But go ahead and try to appropriate it. You don’t have much of your own…
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John Middleton 1 year ago
All I see from Magic in this pic is a smile that says 'I love my family just as it is'.
spjhnx52pq 1 year ago
If anyone used this kind of language on a “protected class” they would be banned and likely arrested in real life. Instead this is applauded. Hypocrisy is clearly immune to common sense and decency.
RELATED:
#2
JohninND 1 year ago
I've seen it done. It's like a dog that walks: it's not done well, but it is done
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Jocelyn Webster 1 year ago
Canada doesn't have these in plastic any more. They're cardboard now.
Jeanette Craig 1 year ago
You are too young to know. I am 82 and it is a closure for a bag of sliced bread.
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Lesbitarian Lady 1 year ago
I personally despise the paper covered wires, bring these back or I organize protests
Mason Kronol 1 year ago
Be careful! I said that on a sonogram where they were waiting for birth to learn the gender. Did not go over well.
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Nikki Gross 1 year ago
My friend JJ in high school was Half Thai and Half Mexican, so he always referred to himself as Timex.
XanthippeⓐWulf🇨🇦️️🇬🇧 1 year ago
My bestie is Mexican-Chinese and she calls herself Mexinese
Load More Replies... Mason Kronol 1 year ago
I worked with a Laotian mechanic. I always called him a Laosy tech. Ok, it made a couple of us laugh. I also had to teach him what cuss words were NOT ok to say around women. Me yes, others a big no especially in the workplace. Amazingly nice guy. English is such a weird language sometimes.
The heroes at the Comment Awards page sift through all the negativity online to find the gold nuggets that they can share with their 524k followers. They're really doing God's work, considering that it can be pretty hard to find some positivity. 64% of Americans, for example, believe that social media is to blame for how badly things are going in the world today.
Receiving negative comments about something you posted can be upsetting. However, most people seem to be pretty resilient to that, as only 20% of Americans have said that a negative comment has ruined their day. Interestingly, more than half also said they don't care if they receive likes or not either.
#4
Tele Avision 1 year ago
I worked 20 years on a night shift. I recently retired and I still sleep during the day and awake at night just to avoid interaction with people. I understand.
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Casey Payne 1 year ago
Weren't most of the animals nocturnal anyway? And have always tried to avoid us? Was everybody else running around like Snow White and recruiting a forest full of animals to clean their house and I just wasn't aware of any of it? If so, then this is big news. The animals are snubbing us. Where did we go wrong?
#5
spjhnx52pq 1 year ago
She’s just trying to get ahead, I guess nobody taught her to give some too instead of getting knocked up.
#6
Ace 1 year ago
Undetectable? Tell me more. uBlock Origin works well for me, but one or two sites detect it and block access unless I disable it. I never do. Fuckem.
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Pablo Ramos 1 year ago
I love it. No ads, ever. And I watch a lot of YouTube. Also hundreds of movies.
We might think that a comment section resembles a town square where people can voice their opinions and be heard. In a sense, it is a town square, but one where people feel there are no repercussions to bad behavior and it soon turns to anarchy. One study found incivility in 25% of comment sections under news and blog posts.
Behavioral psychologist Jo Hemmings explained to Hello! Magazine that the rules of normal social engagement go out the window online. "[People] lose a sense of responsibility and self-awareness – a process known as deindividuation – and their anonymity means that they have no need to regulate their behavior online. It's similar to the way people might behave in a jeering crowd or as a football hooligan."
#7
MaximumKarmaSaint 1 year ago
Remember, it's a trading card if you can give it for money, so this mom here may lose a certain valuable trading card (with sixteen digits) soon.
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Diolla 1 year ago
"She was the Online Communications Director at the 2008 Republican National Committee and has been a political strategist for a number of Republicans." Wikipedia.
xolitaire 1 year ago
I really hope her kid retaliates by destroying the hair products she needs for her Karen do
Kare Deter 1 year ago
Just replace her hair conditioner with hair remover.
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Kraneia The Dancing Dryad 1 year ago
Is this like when they used to throw out your comic books when you misbehaved? ;) Some them comics worth $$$ now.
BossyCloud 1 year ago
Lol the kid isn't going to pay for that. She'll just have to fend for herself in some cheap apartment.
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Bill Swallow 1 year ago (edited)
I remember, while I was in college, my Mom burned my comic books. Including such things as X-Men #1 and the Fantastic Four Annual with Reed and Sue's wedding. But I still loved her...
Suzie 1 year ago
In all seriousness .. yes take a valued item off them but put it in a drawer and when they do do the chore or whatever they have earned it back .. destroying anything of value to a child (not financial) is forever held there believe me I know !! I had a much loved expensive teddy from my dad .. I now realise that was poss a full days wage back then for him but my mother (divorced ) told me to come look when I got back from school .. and she had taken all the stuffing out to make her self some cushions and the "carcass" was in the bin !! I'm 56 and it still upsets me even more now Im an adult who would understand how my father felt
#8
Earonn - 1 year ago
Funny, now PLEASE check why we're gaining weight all of a sudden, without changing food intake or exercise routine. If we're going to be shamed and held responsible for the demise of any health care system, at least we want to know why.
Alicia M Goodner 1 year ago
Sigh... If someone who walks a lot hasn't lost weight , but gained , it's because they are gaining muscle ... Weight also varies by water , natural human waste , stress retention , ect. It really shouldn't be " judged " by a number...
Eunice Bentley 1 year ago
What's the point of walking if you don't have a goal in mind? Brunch is a good goal.
Mason Kronol 1 year ago
My blood pressure and cholesterol are all good. I need more exercise so every couple weeks I walk two miles to a very healthy breakfast. 2 eggs, dry toast, fruit, coffee water maybe toss in a couple other things if I’m really hungry. Then try walking home quick before IBS or diverticulitis takes over. And this isn’t part of aging. Just bad luck. Now let’s talk about the foot surger….
#9
Curtis Harvey 1 year ago
I would survive it also because..."Sig Sauer" beats " chainsaw" ...any day of the week. 😁
MC C 1 year ago (edited)
only the true story that the Texas Chainsaw Manicure (lol, I meant Massacre) is based on happened in Wisconsin
Hemmings further explained that attention motivates people who leave mean comments. Attention, even negative, fuels their self-worth and makes them feel important. Most often, these types of people feel underappreciated and unimportant in their real offline lives.
Psychotherapist Dr. Saima Muhammad Nawaz writes that people spreading negativity in comment sections are projecting their own insecurities. "By making negative comments, they may feel like they are deflecting attention away from their flaws," she claims.
#10
Cronecast AtTheRisingMoon 1 year ago
Legitimately thought it was a woman who had lost her hand somehow…only to realize I was looking at a hand. Really surreal moment.
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MaximumKarmaSaint 1 year ago
It took me a while to see it, but now I do. (Note: I realize this might have been the first time I saw the actual thing first.
Mason Kronol 1 year ago
Ok had to come back to show my husband. But does anyone remember this Japanese baby Chanko born with a serious amount of hair? https://www.boredpanda.com/baby-luscious-hair-babychanco/ I started thinking about her! You know all of us with thinning hair are just jealous. Like the dude at the Tennessee game they say looks like Conway Twitty.
Slay Queen 1 year ago
oh at first I was confused, like, you saw that floating and you thought she was underwater? Then I saw it. OHHHHHH!!!!!!
#11
Auntriarch 1 year ago (edited)
I am helplessly snort laughing in between sips of coffee. I expect someone has forwarded it to her.
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Nimitz 1 year ago
I realized recently why there were so few people of colour in the Harry Potter series. It's cause JK kept creative control over casting. She wanted everyone to be British, and they just all happened to be white too... The only ones allowed in were some of the minor parts for kids
UKGrandad 1 year ago (edited)
A tad dishonest there. Rowling's creative control over casting extended as far as her insistence that it had an all-British cast since the books' characters were all British and it's a fact that American actors cannot do convincingly-British accents. She had no input or control over who was cast. If you want to demonise her, at least try criticising her for things that she actually did or said rather than making up lies.
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spjhnx52pq 1 year ago
Why does anyone call simply being disgusted by something a phobia? Also I guess feminism means protecting the right of men in dresses at the cost of the the safety, privacy and basic rights of biological females. Y’all are clowns.
Timothy Patel 1 year ago
I do not consider JK Rowling as anti-transgender. That is absolute utter rubbish. What she says is that women exist, the term for them is not "menstruating people". I've never hear heterosexual males referred to as people who ejaculate. Let's hear that term and see how how far it is allowed to go.
StarCrossedFriday 1 year ago (edited)
I’m (happily) amazed you haven’t been downvoted 1000 times yet. I don’t really get why everyone seems determined to make her public enemy no 1 on the transgender front, when there are people who are actually, outspoken enemies of their cause. She’s never said she doesn’t think they should exist, and yet people insist that’s ‘clearly what she means’. She’s not anti-trans, she’s pro-woman. It is possible to be just one. I’m pro-Israel, that doesn’t mean I rejoice in the death of Palestinian children, no matter how many people insist that must be ‘what I mean’. In a world full of people insisting on spectrums, it’s amazing how black and white they can make it all.
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JessieJ&LilyLovebug 1 year ago
Because she has, in recent years, gone a little off the rails...is rabid about trans people, especially trans women not being called women.
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BrunoVI 1 year ago
I'm just mad I missed the quidditch tournament AGAIN this year.
Load More Replies... George Costanza 1 year ago
That's not camping. Save the hassle of bringing all that nonsense to the woods and just stay in a hotel or airbnb.
Kraneia The Dancing Dryad 1 year ago
This is known as "glamping", and I agree, if you need all that cr@p stay home. This goes for the ginormous campers and RVs too. The idea is to get away from it all, not take it with you.
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Geoffrey Scott 1 year ago
Yeesh...bad enough setting up a tent. What does she rent a U-Haul to go camping? A generator to run the air compressor?
Cronecast AtTheRisingMoon 1 year ago
I think it has to be a for-rent glamping site. The chandelier is the permanent structure giveaway. That and the matching bed spreads. There are glamping sites that people can rent, I have looked at a couple just for fun.
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marianne eliza 1 year ago
Hey, it happens. You go from sleeping outside on the ground, to adding a mat, then a small tent, then a bigger tent, then an air mattress under the sleeping bag, then a Q-size air mattress with sheets and blankets, then finally... an RV.
For others, negative comments can be a way to release anger and frustration. "Social media can allow people to express their anger or frustration, even if directed towards someone else," Nawaz writes. Writing something mean about another person online also gives us a sense of control and power. People feel like they are the voice of reason and can judge what is good and what is bad – that they have influence.
#13
Upstaged75 1 year ago
There have been accidents where people died that way. :(
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Hyunjinswife143% real 1 year ago
ive never just seen one hot air balloon. why do they travel in groups of 3???
Kathryn Burnett 1 year ago
Yeah but watching them inflate and then lift off is the absolute tits.
#14
Auntriarch 1 year ago (edited)
Mr Auntriarch believes that every spoon is a dessert spoon, so he's no help
Space Invader 1 year ago
Nah, dessert spoon is what other people mistakenly refer to as "ladle".
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Bill Swallow 1 year ago
I'm a Boomer, and who do I have to end to make the US go Metric? Sign me up, bro!
Lowrider 56 11 months ago
I actually have a favorite spoon. I use every time I need a spoon to eat something. Usually ice cream. 😁
Moonie Pinkslip 1 year ago
You poor Americans. Sooooo behind the 8-ball, in every feasible way
Bryan Wright 1 year ago
What the hell is Yall meant to mean? Is English too difficult for todays cretins to comprehend.
Paul Navarrete 1 year ago
You all. It is not that dissimilar to the way some in England say "innit" when "isn't it" is too taxing.
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Stephanie Did It 1 year ago
This here Boomer remembers when they told us in grade school that we'd soon be switching over to Metric. I don't think it was a bunch of fourth graders that prevented the switchover.
#15
Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa) 1 year ago
OMG look at the ceiling in the upper left. It's totally a wearhouse store.
Jack Perry 1 year ago
Forget the ceiling, look at the loaded pallets on the top shelf
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xolitaire 1 year ago
The second complete kitchen interior in the background is totally not a dead giveaway
Lyone Fein 1 year ago
Being 18 and having worked for years is totally not a dead giveaway.
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Kraneia The Dancing Dryad 1 year ago
Y'all realize this was a joke, right? :-D Seriously though, can anyone zoom in enough to see what color the price stickers are? If it's yellow/orange it's Home Depot. If it's blue it's Lowe's. Green would probably be Menard's (which is popular out here in the midwest).
Cerise Hood 1 year ago
My brother and I would pretend we live in the IKEA displays. I thought he was doing the same as well.
Bill Swallow 1 year ago
Bro could have rescued his post if he had added "... and here I am at the home improvement store shopping for my first big remodeling project!"
As the internet and social media are almost built on us comparing ourselves to each other, leaving mean comments about others gives some of us a sense of superiority. "Some people need to bring others down to make themselves feel better," Nawaz explains the reason behind this.
#16
TotallyNOTAFox 1 year ago
Was he really clueless if he was able to order in fluent chinese though?
Curtis Harvey 1 year ago
Hardly. This guy has a blog and he moves around China practicing several different dialects to perfect his Chinese. I watched several of them and it's always amusing to watch the cheese people when he enters and speaks with them in their own dialect perfectly. He's a really nice guy and the Chinese always love him and ask him to come back any time.
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Eli 1 year ago
To be fair, that "clueless guy" can also speak Portuguese, French, Spanish, Yiddish, Yoruba, Tamil, Telugu and Navajo as well as near perfect Mandarin Chinese (and other Chinese dialects).
HTakeover 1 year ago (edited)
Lol, no. He just learns several phrases but definitely not the whole language, repeats them with help until he gets pronunciation perfect, then edits the videos to seem like he's conversing. Source: stumbled on him in the street once doing this exact thing. You can also see it in several of his older videos before his team was more careful. Edit: Mandarin is the only one he's even somewhat fluent in. He wouldn't pass a basic A1 for almost all of the languages he claims.
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Jamo 1 year ago
That's Xiaoma (Ari), he's got a yt channel. He lived in Beijing for a year. He's definitely not clueless, and that's not a Wendy's. Thet still is from one of his earlier videos from years ago
iseefractals 1 year ago
There are 19.2 million asian people living in the U.S, about 5% of the population. China's minority population is around 1 million people, 0.0008% and of those only 150,000 are white, and of those 150,000 people, are a mix of Europeans, who either don't speak english or english is a second language, and people from north america.
Argie Smith 1 year ago
I wanna know if Mr. Asian Guy actually fluently speaks an Asian language, though. Noticed he didn't say...
Lesbitarian Lady 1 year ago
Hey David, it was no big deal because there are McDonald's in Asian countries
#17
Mike Rodrick 1 year ago
Keeping it around is 1 thing. Paying for it for 18 years is something else.
Kraneia The Dancing Dryad 1 year ago
That, and paper can be recycled.... STDs can be a lifelong thing.
Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa) 1 year ago
What a pathetic attempt at marginalization. Try this one. Guns kill people. Cars kill people. Only one of them requires a licence in the USA though.
Curtis Harvey 1 year ago
Neither should be free. If you fail at either you don't belong in college because both failures are based on pure s.t.u.p.i.d.i.t.y.
#18
Kraneia The Dancing Dryad 1 year ago
Why not? They sell single serve "juice boxes" in Walmart....
Robert Sissco 1 year ago
Anything is "single serve" if you believe in yourself
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Bryan Wright 1 year ago
Isn't that the sort of thing Wacko Jacko used to say to his much younger chums?
But wait! Comment sections aren't all that bad. They do have all the flaws we've discussed above, but they can also provide a platform for public discourse. Eun-Ju Lee, a professor in the Department of Communication at Seoul National University, argues that when people in the comments present reasonable arguments and are gracious about their opponents' perspectives, there's a chance for a more participatory news media.
#19
#20
Koala ala ala 1 year ago
Yea, I think "that's really good, you should be really proud of it" sounds much more affirming
Load More Replies... Kelly Scott 1 year ago
Yeah, I was curious and just casually asked my mom once (because I was an idiot for expecting something positive) if she were proud of me and she said, "Why? You haven't done anything." I was 58 at the time. F**k that woman. And then wonder why I had low self-esteem and had to have therapy.
B Jones 1 year ago
I was with my parents when they were visiting a friend that had a young son 30 years ago. He was 3 or 4? Something like that and had picked up a saying from hearing it so much..."good for you" except he would say it to everyone and it sounded really condescending. It was pretty hilarious to hear hi. Say that to all the adults when they said something, every one you could see was struggling to decide if it was innocent or if they should feel offended.
SlightlyTarnished 1 year ago
Well, 500 years ago people thought the earth was stationary, things change, get over it.
Curtis Harvey 1 year ago
Mine used to say, " Well... that's just great...just fking great." I knew it wasn't a compliment.
#21
Roxy222uk 1 year ago
He does it on purpose, genuinely. It's all part of the part he plays, and always has played.
UKGrandad 1 year ago
Yep. The comedian, Josh Widdicombe, said that he was in a green room at the BBC and Boris was in there, too, looking unusually neat and tidy. Then a runner called for Boris who stood up, muttered something like 'game face on' and ruffled his hair up.
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"We cannot expect everyone to act rationally online, but comment sections can showcase competing viewpoints, arouse the public's interest in important issues and facilitate arguments around them," Lee claims. That's why she advocates against the closing of comment sections and for a decreased anonymity.
#22
Manic Mama 1 year ago
Well the 11-year old is clearly right. Where the heck is your raise? (also, where is your sister's ice cream?)
Kraneia The Dancing Dryad 1 year ago
Plot twist: she works from home and the "bosses" are her parents! :-D Srsly though, sister is awesome!
#23
Kraneia The Dancing Dryad 1 year ago
You wouldn't want to expose your kids to the second hand smoke of either, honestly. Just saying. If you want to smoke, I've no problem with it, but don't poison the kids :)
Mason Kronol 1 year ago
Or the cats. I wouldn’t let my husband smoke around the one cat. The other one actually came around when we smoked. We didn’t hot box her or anything but if there was a weekend and things got fun she was suddenly in our faces! (I had a particular cupboard and containers because I know it’s dangerous if ingested by animals)
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Brandie Litchfield 1 year ago
When I was a kid,they used to blow cigarette smoke INTO our ears, to 'treat' ear aches 😢
Suzie 1 year ago
Walked into a house the other day (empty ) and was hit by the smell of smoke .. and really hit that we just (in UK ) don't smell that really inside anymore .. it used to be most houses and all cafes bars etc we had to deep wash all our cloths and spray bags and shoes for ages to get the smell out ! Glad we have moved on as a society nothing worse than being forced to smell and breath in the habits of others
SlightlyTarnished 1 year ago
What's OP's point? Yes, back in the day cigarette smoking was everywhere, but it ain't today, for good reason. Smoking a joint in front of, or with, your children is just plain stupid.
Keith Lancaster 1 year ago
After I left home I used to visit my parents for weekends and when I arrived home afterwards my partner would say for goodness sake get changed and get a shower you stink.
#24
Tucker Cahooter 1 year ago
Now you need to give one third to Fred and two of what's left to Mary and work out how many you now have
TheForrestGreene (he/they/it) 1 year ago
I just tried to solve the problem out of instinct ._.
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MaryHadaLittleLamb 1 year ago
You have to put some on one train going east, and the rest on another train far away going west, traveling at different speeds, then work out when they'll meet.
ArcanaPanda 1 year ago
Mango lassi, mango rice pudding, mango sorbet, mango salsa, mango bbq chicken, mango smoothies, mango cake, canned mango, fresh mango, mango on and on but you get the point
Philly Bob Squires 1 year ago
This is how my wife sees word problems: If Bob buys 3 pears, 3 apples & 6 oranges… How many women did that sonofabitch check out while he was in the store?
And then there's the bright side of the internet and comment sections: the funny content! Previously, we've spoken with comedic writer, actor and director Emma Tattenbaum-Fine about being funny on Twitter (X). She explained to us then that a good tweet is just like a good joke: it sets up an expectation and breaks it with a surprise.
#25
Lyone Fein 1 year ago (edited)
That glassy eyed stare of denial is called Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.
xolitaire 1 year ago
I mean Endgame didn't make much sense (especially Cap staying in the past?! Let's erase all his character development yay!), so ignoring it as if it never happened is a pretty good choice
Daniel Atkins 1 year ago
He didn't undo anything it was his future self living the life he would have had while the Captain of that time was still frozen.
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#26
Chris Keller 1 year ago
Like when a friend told me she only felt good when she was drinking, and wondered if there was a word for that. I told her alcoholism
Krd 1 year ago
I'm pretty sure the guy is being sarcastic... Why is everyone acting like the guy is being serious?
ZuriLovesYou 1 year ago (edited)
Because when you talk to people in person, you can hear in the tone of their voice whether they're joking or not. But this is the internet. We're not talking to each other. We're typing letters onto a screen hoping people will respond. So we can't tell whether people are joking unless they say so.
Load More Replies... #27
Nikki Private Citizen 1 year ago
I had the exact same reaction as you. 🤣🤣
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Kalevra 1 year ago
Thats what i try to do. Also, could have been her mother in law.
Load More Replies... Kare Deter 1 year ago
Mom is most likely genX while Grandma was the boomer.
Load More Replies... Moonie Pinkslip 1 year ago
Yeah, I can't pretend---I simply don't get it. Yes, I know what ghosting is.
Weltschmerz 1 year ago
My auntie used to put lol at the end of all her texts thinking it meant "lots of love", I didn't have the heart to tell her!!
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"A good tweet, in particular, is probably going to be something topical that is top of mind for everyone, that then finishes with a fresh take, giving the reader something clever they hadn't considered before that is infused with a clear point of view," Emma told Bored Panda back then.
#28
#29
Emmy S. 1 year ago
Idk… she’s got a suspicious amount of Ruth to be ruthless 😉
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#30
Lynette Vella 1 year ago
Yes! Absolutely! We never stopped! And we weren't overweight and miserable, either.
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Geoffrey Scott 1 year ago
We had a Spec. Ed teacher whose room contained a: Dial phone, a typewriter, an old timey type address book with the little arrow pointing to the letters, a phone book, and many other 2 generation old things. Blew the kids minds!
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iseefractals 1 year ago
When i was 5 my parents bought me an NES. Hooking up that console required an RF-Modulator, which required a screwdriver to hook it up to the back of the TV....to the RF modulator, you connected the coaxial cable for the TV antenna, and component cables from the RF-modulator to NES. Then you had to change the physical switch on the RF-modulator to choose the correct input. Then you put it on channel 3.....and that's what you had to do every single time you moved the console from on TV to another....except some TV's actually used channel 4. That's the process 5 year old me went through almost daily to get my gaming fix.
Tabitha 1 year ago (edited)
The antenna on our TV when I was little was ME holding the rabbit ears—-including the one with the wire hanger replacing one of the ears after it broke off—-wherever the reception was best.
Flavia Slag 1 year ago
I was also the remote control as well as the rabbit ears...Change the channel for me.
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Since not all of the funny posts we're featuring here are comments per se, the good funny tweet rule probably applies in this case, too. So, Pandas, upvote your favorite posts, and don't forget to share your wittiest takes in the comments! Who knows, maybe you'll end up in this year's Bored Panda Best Comment Awards.
#31
MaximumKarmaSaint 1 year ago
What crazy world are you in where normal M&Ms are bigger than peanut ones?
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WalkieTaco 1 year ago
I was at the hospital for an MRI and doctors appointment yesterday, and my neurologist looks a lot like Tom Holland.
#32
Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa) 1 year ago
As a lower class white person, I concur. The pain is the only thing left that makes us feel alive.
35 cabbages in a trenchcoat 1 year ago
What about them? All spices are welcome.
Load More Replies... Nikki Gross 1 year ago
One of the things I miss most other then having carbonated drinks. Chemo and GERD completely f****d up my stomach and mouth.
Papa 1 year ago
I can testify that there are some middle class white people who must like spicy food. If they didn't they wouldn't eat Tex-Mex multiple times each week.
ArcanaPanda 1 year ago
Yes, and they're called Texans. White Texans can handle the spiciest salsas Mexican restaurants have to offer.
Load More Replies... Kraneia The Dancing Dryad 1 year ago
"Dave's Insanity Sauce"... Oh yes, and "Da Bomb". Don't eat anything with Da Bomb on it unless you want a trip to the hospital.
Momica98 1 year ago (edited)
Getting older sucks.😂 Oh, you're bending over briefly to tie your shoes? Here's some heartburn.
Load More Replies... George Costanza 1 year ago
Well I'm an upper class white and I put carolina reaper powder on way too large a percentage of my food. So there's that.
BrunoVI 1 year ago
George, I hate to tell you, but there's a difference between being rather wealthy and being upper class. (I'm not being mean! He smirked when he killed his fiancee! [and Dear Lord, I hope no-one thinks I'm accusing him of anything])
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#33
TheForrestGreene (he/they/it) 1 year ago (edited)
I snorted in the middle of my English class when it was very quiet, and it sounded like a mule sneezing, so if any of y'all need me, I'll just be digging a hole for me to crawl into
The Shark 1 year ago
So coffee with your own dīck in it is okay then? Extra cream? 😂 Ok I'm done.
#34
Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa) 1 year ago (edited)
We used to have to pay for texts too. Do you know how much bandwidth it takes to send a text? It is nothing. and they still charged actual money for it. You're super basic phone plan used to give you 50 texts a MONTH and charge you $1 for every one after that. You were also doing it on your locked phone that took three years to pay off. The cellphone industry in the early 2000s was insanely exploitative.
Me. Just Me. 1 year ago
Are you suggesting it's not now? As a single person, it's going to cost me $75/month for me to have one line on my phone plan (assuming the phone is already paid for), but if I find 3 strangers and add them to my plan, suddenly it's only going to cost $25/line???? Talk about messed up!!!!
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Leg less In Minneapolis 1 year ago
We got free phones and were charged for using them! Now you have to give them your first born for a phone but you can use it for free
#35
Libstak 1 year ago
Am without kids, can confirm my remote is always exactly where I put it and the lights are only on or off when I want them to be.
iseefractals 1 year ago
Yeah....one of the best things about not having kids is that everything :::gasp::: stays in exactly the same place you left it.
Nikole 1 year ago
And you don’t go to the fridge expecting an item to be there, but someone has eaten it. I’m joyfully alone.
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JoMeBee 1 year ago
So I lost it a while ago with a BP entry referring to kids as skin dogs (opposite of fur babies) ! Thank you for providing me with even more hilarity!!
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Fluffy Griffin 1 year ago
I think even if I lived alone I'd still have left the remote in the fridge.
Moonie Pinkslip 1 year ago
Honey, the effing remote is EXACTLY where I left it because no "crotch fruit" is running around destroying my life.
Raquel Mencke 1 year ago
Now, if I could just remember where I put the remote and why I came into the room?
#36
Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa) 1 year ago
FWIW the actual cult that "Drank the Kool AId" drank a knock off called Flavor-Aid. Just google Jim Jones and Jonestown.
spjhnx52pq 1 year ago
Please check what happened when Budweiser tried it. I doubt anyone else will ever try that again unless “they” deliberately want to destroy their business.
#38
Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa) 1 year ago
Funny thing about trees though, they tend to plant themselves. That's what the seeds are for. Forests naturally grow over time. WE cut them back.
Geoffrey Scott 1 year ago
I have done very little to my 10 acres. Trees have gone from Poplar, to many Oaks. I'm thinking the deer sneak around and plant acorns.LOL
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Earonn - 1 year ago
Which only shows that we need to make it even more popular! :D
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Stannous Flouride 1 year ago
There's a group in San Francisco called "SF in Bloom" that travels around planting native wildflowers all over the Bay Area.
StarCrossedFriday 1 year ago
That could also be a movement pledging to allow ants to smoke more marijuana.
Paulina 1 year ago
I wish it would work! Unfortunately, seedlings will be cut like weeds and smaller trees get cut down as well. Don't ask how I know 🤫 I'm testing new idea: surrounding sprouting trees with sticks tied to it - like city would do to safeguard what they themselves planted. Still waiting to see when they realize this particular cherry isn't on any municipal map 🤭
#39
Catherine Hutt 1 year ago
Man got arrested for having sex with a corpse. When the police arrived, his response was, “Dead? I thought she was British!”
#40
#41
V 1 year ago
I lived on rice with a bit of chicken stock powder with 3 apples a week for about 2 months. And yes, I was as sick as you would imagine once I could afford a proper meal again.
Full of Giggles 1 year ago
I did rice, beans, and stolen ketchup packets from a gas station. I also used to steal oranges and grapefruits from peoples trees. I’m not proud of stealing but I was hungry and desperate.
Load More Replies... Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa) 1 year ago
Yes, and on Christmas Day no less. 2009. Epic snow storm over Christmas and my landlords decided to remodel the kitchen the week before. Everything was closed. I had no food. I had no way to get food. I had no way to cook food if I had it. Started looking for a new place to live that week.
Mason Kronol 1 year ago
Umm growing up? Still doing some of these. Also just found out how much more expensive chicken thighs are than chicken breasts! When do you learn our secret to good cheap food and make it expensive 😡
Philly Bob Squires 1 year ago
Yeah! I love the dark meat and it was always so cheap. Even places like Boston Market or KFC, the Leg / Thighs were always less. Now... it's the hip thing! Same thing happened to ribs, lobsters, wings. The rich bastards tossed them, people found a way to make them delicious, and the rich took them back and made a fortune selling it back.
Load More Replies... Kraneia The Dancing Dryad 1 year ago
I've eaten all of these, not just as a "struggle meal", but on nights I just didn't feel like cooking much. As a side note, my uncle used to talk about growing up eating "wish sandwiches". As in two pieces of bread, you wished something was in between them....
Nikki Gross 1 year ago
The house I'm living in for 40 years had an Apple, Peach and Apricot tree for several years. You can make a lot of stuff from those three fruits.
Alyssa Phillips 1 year ago
Wish sandwich--bread, mayo, salt, pepper, and wish something was in the middle. Also MREs. So many MREs.
Meagan Glaser 1 year ago
the spiritual opposite of the hand-sandwhich; one slice of lunch meat, put it on your hand, and eat it because you got no bread
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DяizL 1 year ago (edited)
Luncheon cut as thick as you wanted it from the dog roll it came in. You could make sandwiches. Fry it. Or bite into it straight from that dog roll. Luncheon was spam in a plastic roll. Just needed a condiment of your choosing to go with it. Tomato sauce was my go to. Otherwise coco pops for any meal replacement worked also. Meat pie sandwich is proper tasty as well.
Lou Cam 1 year ago
Oh a thick slab of spam with ketchup is an elite snack!
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ZuriLovesYou 1 year ago
Not too dark for me. So I'll say it. Natural selection.
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Avoidance_Panda 1 year ago
Bet he's got two large empty bags just for you....how else will he get you back past the CCTV...
Kathaleen Chivers 1 year ago
Absolutely natural selection! Not a thought in that head at all. Half a brain is dangerous, no brain is deadly!
#43
Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa) 1 year ago
Gotta admit that is pretty fun but rolling big tires down steep hills is way more fun.
Kat 1 year ago
My husband says it's tossing him things. He prefers I throw him things from across the room, rather than hand them to him. 🤷♀️
Dirk Daring 1 year ago
Just blankly staring out the window into the backyard because you saw some bluejays there yesterday.
Meagan Glaser 1 year ago
improvised projectile weapons: potato guns, sling shots, anything that is not an actual proper weapon but a thing that can fling a thing far
#44
Otto Katz 1 year ago
My ex did something like that once, bought 2 of the same heart-shaped boxes of Valentine's Day chocolates. I got one, his fling got the other.
#45
xolitaire 1 year ago
Oh man, this takes me back. My very first work place had this huge vending machine for hot drinks, soup etc. Very fancy. And damn it made the best hot cocoa. With water. It was magic.
Heffalump 1 year ago
There was dried milk with the sugar and chocolate in the powder.
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Nikki Gross 1 year ago (edited)
Mom would buy Hershey's Cocoa Powder and make an enormous pan of homemade hot chocolate with milk every Christmas. I swear that was the best tasting thing ever! It wasn't Christmas until Mama made her hot chocolate and homemade fudge.
B Jones 1 year ago
I'm still using my grandmother's hot chocolate mix using water. Make a big batch every fall. Cocoa, powder milk, powdered sugar, powdered creamer and chocolate milk powder. Just add hit water and you're good.
Load More Replies... Beth Wheeler 1 year ago
Gotta be Swiss Miss hot chocolate with marshmallows. Do not make the mistake of using milk instead of water. I saw something 1 time about using miyand it was disgusting.
Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa) 1 year ago
With just water. If you have one of those big coffee makers at work with the hot water spigot, get some GOOD instant hot cocoa and the really small cans of condensed milk. put the milk and powder into an insulated mug that seals and top it up with hot water. Then shake it for like five minutes or so. I used to do this while I was pre-opping the production floor. You will not be disappointed.
Regina Holt 1 year ago
Where I live 7-11 has awesome hot chocolate. It is probably made with water because it is in one of those big coffee maker things which also use water. But if I get a craving for hot chocolate, I'm goine to 7-11
Suzie 1 year ago
I rem in primary water hot choc .. non buttered toast and a small bottle of milk for break AHH those were the days
RosaTheWitch 1 year ago
If I've deciphered your comment correctly, you were a pre-'Thatcher-the-milk-snatcher' school pupil. Only the first three years of classes got milk by the time I started school!
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StarCrossedFriday 1 year ago
It could have been so much worse. Like the tip being ‘vote for Trump and next time you can keep the *whole* 5 cent tip the next person leaves you!’
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Tabitha 1 year ago
That looks doctored. Like it was originally $0 tip and totaled $2.25, and OP added the 1 in front of both amounts.
RosaTheWitch 1 year ago
And the generous tipper's profile picture seems a bit… 🤔
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Bex 1 year ago
How about just doing nice things for the sake of doing nice things and not to have something to brag about for Likes?
Nimitz 1 year ago
That's the joke. $10 tip is nice but not life changing. But people make videos as if doing one nice thing will fix someone's life forever
Load More Replies... Suzie 1 year ago
To be fair if the tipper is on basic wage that is a full hours wage for them to give to another on a basic wage .. however .. if not that's at best demeaning ... But why in America don't they get paid a min living wage !!! And tips are a bonus like they should be .. waiting staff have a job I now could not do as I have no control over my brain and mouth link .. but when I did .. it was fun .. I earnt a wage that kept me fed and warm and the tips got me the extras but yes that was a long time ago .. even in UK I will leave a tip if I can esp if the staff have been extra understanding
Never Snarky 1 year ago
I've done this sort of thing. Really good service deserves a really good tip.
justagirl 1 year ago
think of it this way: "WOAH, ten dollars! I can finally get...a nice sandwich."
Load More Replies... Ellinor 1 year ago
And in civilised countries there is no need to tip because our waiters are paid enough to live. But I guess at the end of the day, it's all about perspective...
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#48
Khavrinen 1 year ago
"This Soylent Green has more microplastics in it than I expected."
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detective miller's hat 1 year ago
Not even kidding. It's almost November and the last 3 days where I am in NY state it has been over 80F.
Lou Cam 1 year ago
The temperature, as in climate change is gonna end us all before the kids grow up.
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#49
Nikole 1 year ago
I even consulted with a department in a hospital several times to further my research!
Load More Replies... Geoffrey Scott 1 year ago
Bumper sticker in our small town: "Be nice to animals, don't eat them". Same town: "I love animals, they're delicious".
#50
Phantom Phoenix 1 year ago
Obviously forks were invented because fingers just aren't good at stabbing the sausages and chips
UKGrandad 1 year ago (edited)
The username....Damn!!! 🤣🤣🤣 EDIT: I see my personal downvoting troll's awake. Hello troll 👋🏻
#51
Agfox 1 year ago
No popcorn button on our microwave but we did stay in an apartment hotel in Seoul one time where the microwave had a 'bagel hole'
Fluffy Griffin 1 year ago
I learned a few days ago that the popcorn button originally actually was useful, on luxury microwaves. It would detect the moisture content in your microwave to determine when the popcorn was finished. Then cheap ones just slapped a button on with an arbitrary fixed number and advertised it to look fancy.
Damned_Cat 1 year ago
In my experience, the popcorn button either flash burns your corn, or pops about 20 kernels and stops.
Me. Just Me. 1 year ago
And since watching it, I started using the button.
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Ovata Acronicta 1 year ago
Lost weight rapidly, but took me a few years to get back to normal in the other way (not anorgasmia, just took a long time). It's okay, not wanting to off myself was worth it.
#53
SirWriteALot 1 year ago
plant based chicken tenders. Never tried the KFC ones but I've had some at other restaurants and they do taste good. Even got the "chicken-y" tang right.
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Lost Penny 1 year ago
Well, at some point, it used to be fried chicken. Now it's something beyond.
Ovata Acronicta 1 year ago
I'm genuinely surprised to hear there's a Beyond product that's nasty. Their stuff is usually pretty good. Pea protein > soy protein in my book.
#54
#55
UKGrandad 1 year ago
Reminds me of the time I found two tickets to a Phil Collins concert nailed to a tree. I thought 'I'm having them'.You can never have enough nails.
Rinso The Red 1 year ago
One of the best vocalists of the 80's? Guy's a legend.
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#56
Kraneia The Dancing Dryad 1 year ago
I'm almost 50 and could care less what you call me, middle aged old fart whatever.
Slowdown 1 year ago
I'm with you. Almost 50, still feel 12 and am often surprised when others think I'm a real adult. If folks think I'm old, they just haven't lived long enough yet.
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David McKendrick 1 year ago
It turns out that the music we listened to when I was young is the same music they are "discovering" now. My granddaughter is surprised that I know all the words and tunes.
#57
#60
30ninjazinmybag 1 year ago
North and west is two different directions. Kids name is north West.
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#61
HTakeover 1 year ago
True story, knew a lady who wanted to name her kid Placenta. Thought it was a type of flower.
Regina Holt 1 year ago
OMG, I also used to work with someone whose wife was a nurse. A woman wanted to name her child Placenta because she had heard the word, and thought it sounded like a nice name for her newborn girl. She was talked out of it.
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#62
Nimitz 1 year ago
My rage only increases. So that's how my minimum wage parents were able to buy a 3 bedroom house in 1980? That f*****g thing cost them $23,000 and was recently valued at over $400k...
Nimitz 1 year ago
Dad was a minimum wage guy and mom cleaned houses earning less than that. 4 f*****g kids, a house with a large yard, 2 gardens, and 2 f*****g cars.
Load More Replies... Geoffrey Scott 1 year ago
The yardstick by which financial society is measured. Senseless or not, there it is.
Load More Replies... ColdSteelRonin 1 year ago
Prior to that they did a thing called underwriting where they reviewed the payment history of any accounts you held and verified your income. You can still get that done if you don't have a credit score.
Kelly Scott 1 year ago (edited)
Credit scores ruined so many things. Now you can't rent an apartment, buy a car, or even get a job without 'perfect' credit. Think of the lives that were put on hold or wrecked because someone couldn't get a life necessity just because they had less than stellar credit.
Kare Deter 1 year ago
All having a good credit rating has done for me was to make me a victim of identity theft. I feel like I should purposely ruin my credit just so that can't happen anymore!
Max Fox 1 year ago
Millennials thinking that everything is about them and again forgetting that they were only being born starting in 1985. 1989 was only a few years before the first Gen-Xers started buying houses. By the time Millennials needed credit scores, it had been tried out of Gen-Xers for a couple of decades.
#63
Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa) 1 year ago (edited)
Of course he did. And when he did I was nowhere near there. I had nothing to do with it and I have witnesses that can prove I wasn't there.
Mike Rodrick 1 year ago
I have a shirt that reads, "remember this a*s, I might need an allibli."
Load More Replies... René Sauer 1 year ago
this air dropping thing is so weird to me. You can just receive messages and pictures from absolute strangers?
#64
Stephanie Did It 1 year ago
He still has no room for a brain in his cranium--actually, he has no cranium!
Rayne OfSalt 1 year ago
I no longer know how to explain to people that the "new" Buzz Lightyear is the character the "old" Buzz Lightyear toy character is based on. In real world terms, it's the same difference between Mark Hamill and a Luke Skywalker toy.
#66
mandy the capibara 1 year ago
Then you go see a veterenarian about that;)
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#67
#68
Auntriarch 1 year ago
If I catch you in west Gloucestershire with a rifle and no firearms licence it'll be the naughty step for you
#69
Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa) 1 year ago
Wish I knew what year this really is because those prices are awesome in 2024.
#70
UKGrandad 1 year ago
I could give you a run for your money. I do a decent Kenneth Williams, too.
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