Covid in NYC in the ED. a woman in the resus area was panicking and begged me for help saying she couldn’t breathe. a patient near her who i was getting to also couldn’t breathe but was starting to slip and we were getting ready to intubate. no one was around to help the panicked woman who wasn’t required for the intubation. i had to decide between helping this panicked woman or going to the intubation where maybe someone’s life could be saved. i said “i am so sorry, but i can’t help you. i have to go.” because it really was like that (these were NOT normal times)

The panicked woman i think [was gone] later that shift and i was one of the last people to speak to her on the last day of her life. i will never forget her. i cry every time i think about her

i know there was nothing else i could’ve done but it’s my job to always remember her.