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Ever had an awkward first date? Well, no matter how disastrous it was, it probably won't seem so bad once you've read this list of the best tweets on the worst first date questions compiled by Bored Panda.
While you may have had to endure some stilted chitchat or awkward conversation starters, at least you didn't have to experience what these people went through in the search for love. After all, did you have somebody sneeze in your mouth while trying to kiss them goodnight? No? That's what we thought. Yes, you might have had some first date tips turned sour, but nothing as atrocious as some of these first date conversations. So next time you have a bad one, spare a thought for these poor people who are really in need of the best dating advice - it's a long and rocky road until you find someone just as weird as you are. Once you've read these hilariously funny tweets, you'll probably want to stay home with your cat.
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#1
Amanda Panda 9 years ago
Probably not the best place to learn it... they never get the name right on the cup!
RELATED:
#2
Cat Meow 9 years ago
Some men just can't accept the truth though. A woman tells them she's not interested, she ends up being called names by the same guy. Had my fair share with that and getting stalked.
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Jaci Cuddy 9 years ago
A very wise investment. I'm sure your time ( i.e., the time you would have wasted) is worth much more than a $20 dollar bill.
Cat Meow 9 years ago
Again, some men can't take no for an answer (see my reply to Christian Hill).
Load More Replies... #3
Naima Ivansdóttir 9 years ago
my reply? i could lose 10lbs but you're stuck with being a moron forever
#4
Andreas Danzer 9 years ago
Exclusive or not ... I think it is disgusting ...
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Hans 9 years ago
First date that is it...what would be wrong about it? No cheating, and it still can be a very serious attempt in finding someone special. Probably speeding up things.
Lorraine 9 years ago
I agree. It's just a first date, it's not like he's sneaking around with three girlfriends. It's totally acceptable to date around to up your options before settling down with one person.
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Alessandro Schiassi 9 years ago
I usually go to the same place so the only difference is the other person and I can focus on her. 3 dates on a week can happen, especially if you've been busy the previous weeks. This girl is clearly looking for attention.
Janna Trujillo 9 years ago
What if the waiter was messing with her and that was actually the first date he brought there? Lol
#5
Susan Tremaine 9 years ago
I may be able to top that. This just happened two weeks ago. A guy arrived at my house to pick me up. Since he ran late, I met him in the driveway. He said he had to pee. Of course, I said come on in the house. I have a bathroom 20 feet from this doorway. He declined and actually peed behind an oak tree next to my driveway. We had great "conversations". He said he didn't need to take a pill. I guess he was referring to Viagra and was trying to tell me his junk worked. He announced that his wiener sticks straight out every morning. Ok, you have a pee boner in the morning. Don't all guys? He said he starts with his right hand and when that gets tired, he switches to his left. WTF!!! My fave of the night, "if am soft, I'll just go down on you and then I'll get real hard". There was more, but I think you got the gist.
Shannon McKee 8 years ago
Sounds like he is a cheapskate who did this intentionally to get a cheaper dinner.
#6
Feldioreanu Paul 9 years ago
on the other hand, you get to tell that story, so I'm thinking it was totally worth it
Ash Lauren 8 years ago
o.O Makes me wonder why they didn't just get a divorce instead of a restraining order...
Georgia Stergiadis 9 years ago
He sounds like my ex. Except, from what I know, his "wife" doesn't have a restraining order on him. However, he does refuse to sign the divorce papers, even though they have been separated for two and a half years. Yeah, glad I got out of that one!
Wendy Crow 9 years ago
Actually in CA the frog jumping festval is fun and has venders food and rides
Julianne Zeilman 9 years ago
Ok I knew it was going to be the worst ever when u said u went to a frog jump festival.... this one wins...
#7
SarahofBorg 9 years ago
Yeah, he's glad he thinks she's easy to emotionally abuse.
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Alessandra Cruz 9 years ago
i'd be okay with someone who'd tell me i'm flawed (who isn't?) but LISTING my flaws during first date is a different matter altogether.
Rosemary Moreland 9 years ago
Oh dear......downhill from there! I hope you listed his before calling it quits?
#8
Michael Bluth 9 years ago
If a woman pulls out her phone on the first date it's over for me. Terrible, terrible woman. My apologies.
#9
Amanda Panda 9 years ago
Him: "you're such a good kisser" Her: "So are you, maybe we're related!"
alexandra laurita 9 years ago
There is an app for this. :) http://www.cbc.ca/news/business/kissing-cousins-icelandic-app-warns-if-your-date-is-a-relative-1.1390256
Dana Erasmowitz 9 years ago
This is tragic! How do you stop loving someone just because it turns out you are related? Once or twice removed cousins?
Mimmi Koski 9 years ago
In some countries (Finland for example) u can marry your cousin.
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AJ Stevenson 2 years ago
I'm in the process of writing a book about dating and would love to use your first date comment, may I?
#10
Catalina Ioan 9 years ago
Unless he was actually serious about that, I think it's rather an endearingly goofy remark
#12
Georgia Stergiadis 9 years ago
Oh no haha! Mine took me to his ex wifes house, on our first official date. We lasted about a month
#13
Michael Bluth 9 years ago
Wow. Thought this was the worst first date from the perspective of the tweeter not the other person. Good on you for being honest.
#14
Ayah Shehata 9 years ago
And I just wrote about Rachel and Michael's x"D !
Load More Replies... Ayah Shehata 9 years ago
It's like Rachel's date with Michael, when she borrows a guys phone, calls Ross, and tells him she's over him and that was her closure ???????? !
Naima Ivansdóttir 9 years ago
not the first time i read about this kind of story and i wonder, who the heck even does that! apparently it's a thing though!
#15
blugeagua 4 years ago
Nothing wrong with being cautious. You never know if you're dating a bad person.
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#16
#17
Ethan Cook 6 years ago (edited)
Of the he's not a very loving person. Dont date someone just because of their looks. But because of their personality. And money of course.
Rosemary Moreland 9 years ago
My husband ( of 34 years), told me he preferred long hair after I came home from the hairdresser. This was six weeks after we were married. I told him I had no problem with him growing his hair long! Still married.????
Emily Kristensen 8 years ago
well this is my tweet... To make it worse: I actually ended up dating him for a long period of time (didnt really want to it just happened). He kept doing these things to try to change me TURNS OUT he was trying to make me more like the girl he was secretly in love for even though we were together for years.
#18
Over Opinionated 9 years ago
No... poor guy having to hide his sexuality in today's world. F*****g brain washed religious freaks are ruining the planet
Load More Replies... #19
António Lima 9 years ago
I understand him, he was late right, so he was trying to reward her with fast food and fast sex
Over Opinionated 9 years ago
I'd tell him to put it on his big head and breathe deeply and repeatedly
Viviane Katz 9 years ago
Why did he bring the condom? It's not like the giraffe had an STD or he was going to knock up one of the two-toed sloths.
Viviane Katz 9 years ago
Why did he bring the condom? It's not like the giraffe has an STD or he was going to knock up one of the two-toed sloths.
#20
#21
Ted Oliverio 9 years ago
On the way out of the movies, I often look for "poor"-looking young kids and hand them my bag, saying "free refills!" :D
#22
António Lima 9 years ago
I think that nowadays no one uses letters to comunicate...she was what, checking you bank account?
#23
Amanda Panda 9 years ago
I'd of taken him to dollar tree, bought him a packet of tissues and lotion... he's gonna need THAT later! :)
Over Opinionated 9 years ago
I'm extremely poor a dollar is a lot sometimes. I kinda feel for him
#24
Sophia Cai 7 years ago
Have you washed a cat? It's a soaking wet mess. Lots of claws and teeth.
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#25
Day Oliveira 9 years ago
Gay bars are the most fun ones! I'd never see it as a sign.
Load More Replies... Jelena Vasic 9 years ago
You got for a cab, at least, after that humiliation, imagine he forgot that he brought you there....
Georgia Stergiadis 9 years ago
It was nice of him to pay for your ride home though. At the same time, that does really sound like a pretty bad first date.
Evonne Van Gundy 9 years ago
Dates at gay bars don't bother me. I'm paying, date gets free drinks sent all night, and I'm not hit on all night. However, when you've been together a few years and do this...BF brings a couple guys back to your place, f***s them and they rob you? NOW you have a story. BTW - no s**t, true story. 21st birthday.
blugeagua 7 years ago
But gay bars have gay women too. I’m surprised no women hit on you too. Haha
Load More Replies... #26
Marie-Michèle Lacroix 9 years ago
I'm pretty sure a lot of pet pigs are named bacon, it's just humor. ;)
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Evelien van der Ham 9 years ago
Be grateful he ended the date, clearly he didn't have a good sense of humor... would've been a looong night!
Joanna Maynard 9 years ago
A guy with no sense of humour couldn't cope with me.
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#27
Jelena Vasic 9 years ago
He just wanted to see if you are scared easily. That kind of talk is not serious, especially after half an hour, if you were honest, sorry.
Jennifer Phelps 9 years ago
That doesn't add up. 4 kids with 3 women but two of them are twins?
Larissa Smith 9 years ago
It does add up though Woman #1 - Twins Woman #2 - 1 child Woman #3 - 1 child = 3 woman 4 children
Load More Replies... #28
Nita Veliu 9 years ago
He was probably a 'Friends' tv show fan. This is a line from one of the episodes.
Georgia Stergiadis 9 years ago
Yep, thank you for reminding me. It was Chandler, who said it to Monica, as he had the engagement ring that he was about to propose to her with, in that jacket.
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Judy Sivadon 9 years ago
Some advice from mom and dad--when our boys began to think about girls---always take 2 jackets
Janice Foster 9 years ago
Why? Women are perfectly capable of looking after their own watdrobe requirements- I'd be seriously creeped out if a date bought additional clothes to a date for me like I was his young child
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#29
Danelle White 9 years ago
That's actually kinda cool... you can find some neat stuff that people just toss out. And yes, I'm totally serious.
#31
#32
Day Oliveira 9 years ago
OMG if it was Neil it'd be my best date ever, monitor or not.
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#33
#34
Edison Michael 9 years ago
Well, at least you learned he was neither brave nor faithful in just a few minutes. Saved a lot of time.
#35
Wouter N 9 years ago
It has not been said that the tweet has to be the other, it is just about a 1st date gone wrong, no matter who was the "bad" one during the date :p
Load More Replies... Blaze 6 years ago
Should've kept it at I "love you." Wouldve made his day. Whoever is reading this, I love you (not being weird XD)
#36
Jayne Junemann 9 years ago
yeah i bet he was felt like he was forcing conversation so just talked about sheep... i get stuck doing versions of this on dates sometimes... keep getting met with silence so just keep.. rambling on...
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Mindy Schiffman 9 years ago
Are you in Utah because I totally talked to a guy once online who was obsessed with sheep. Never met him.
#37
#39
#40
Dana Erasmowitz 9 years ago
It doesn't have to be a bad thing. She might have been overexcited because he was so hot.
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Timmy Carey 8 years ago
wait... how does she know she gets nervous on first dates? u can only ever have one
Oliver Figueiredo 9 years ago
Well at least that`s 5p well spent...unless she was an airline stewardess?
#41
#42
Catalina Ioan 9 years ago
Was his name Dean? Leather jacket, into classic rock, drove an Impala?
Septia Yudhi Nugraha 9 years ago
did he made you touch silver utensils, or lure you onto a pentagram too?
#43
Amanda Panda 9 years ago
If you are a psychic, and you don't end a relationship by saying "I just don't see a future with you" you are just wasting everybody's time!
Sonja Simek 9 years ago
omg that's hilarious!!!! also, in reference to the gang of ghosts, i would have told him: didn't see that coming, huh?
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#44
La 9 years ago
Embarrassed because he didn't realize it was you or embarrassed because it is you?
Kristy Carey 8 years ago
Had you met yet? Or did you stand next to him, figuring he needed to be the first to say hi?
#45
Amanda Panda 9 years ago
Suuuuuuure "its not an STD... No, I BUUUURNED it on a radiator as a child" *eye roll*
Lonely Dragon 9 years ago
I think it's so f****d up how some people actually do stuff like that. Like I couldn't do that to someone, have herpes on my genitalia and then trying to convince someone to have sex with me. It's just so wrong. I would feel so f*****g bad x'D
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#46
#47
#48
Ashley Massett 9 years ago
Ppppfff hadn't he ever daytripped before? Gotta keep your clothes on man!
#49
#50
#51
Tessa Bakker 9 years ago
What is wrong with that?? You could have joined her in the duets. .. ;)
#52
Michael Bluth 9 years ago
Your second post in this thread. You're just making this stuff up...
Wynk2u 9 years ago
Because she couldn't possibly have had more then 1 first date that was bad? Most ppl I know have had numerous bad first dates.
Load More Replies... #53
AppleDragon 4 years ago
Ahem! We would NEVER do that! At least I won’t, anyway.
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#54
#55
Amanda Panda 9 years ago
Honestly, the ninja turtle bed sheets wouldn't have been a deal breaker so much as the living at home part.
António Lima 9 years ago
Agree in the sheets, the mom part i dont know his age, theres limits for everything :-)
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#57
maryhadalittlelamb 9 years ago
i think Antonio said that because of her username
Load More Replies... #58
Michael Bluth 9 years ago
Just threw up in my mouth a little. At least you didn't try to wipe it off.
Mysti Adams 9 years ago
Then you need to grow up. So she had a pimple. So? You haven't?
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#59
#60
Michael Bluth 9 years ago
A guy is knocked unconscious and it's the worst thing for you. Hmmm....
#61
Amanda Panda 9 years ago
HAHAHA this guy, and the dude that "burned his penis as a child on a radiator" need to meet each other and be friends.
Nightshade1972 3 years ago
Not sure what "having a tail" has to do with "being incontinent." Okay then...
Evonne Van Gundy 9 years ago
No. This is a bad attempt at Fat Hal. Look dudes (and chicks), movies are fantasy. IRL is gonna always work that way.
#62
MD 9 years ago
It sounds like he's autistic. Lack of social skills. Direct, yet inappropriate questions
Kaitlyn Neal 9 years ago
How rude!! You never ask someone that. I have autism and ADHD, both very low cases... but I would never ask that. And I have had people ask me and I tell them how rude that is. It is like asking somone 'do you know your way too ugly' or 'you know your penis is way to small to attract any woman, right?'
Cherie 9 years ago
Agree.... strange and rude. I can't imagine asking any of those questions, even after repeated dates.
Load More Replies... #63
#64
#65
#67
Blaze 6 years ago
What an awful profession. Using you body as an object to attract guys. People are worth more than that. Don't disrespect your body
blugeagua 4 years ago
It's not disrespectful. Theyre doing what they want with their bodies and owning them as sexual beings. And they're getting paid for it. Thats the important thing
Load More Replies... #68
#69
Crochet Rox 9 years ago
This reply just made me spit coffee all over the place LOL!!
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#70
Danelle White 9 years ago
What's so bad about that? Have a sense of humor and laugh it off... lol
Cherie 9 years ago
Yeah, I want to at least be introduced as 'above average'.... but frankly, anyone who would introduce me as that had better be making a joke - even if it's dull after the first 10 times.
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Melissa Mitchell 9 years ago
See, 'normalest' would have been a deal breaker for me. Most normal, perhaps.
#71
Amanda Panda 9 years ago
I wonder if this is about the guy further up on the list, who's date turned out to be related to him -_-
The Alchemist 9 years ago
I almost tried to set a girl up at work with a guy who was already married. I didn't know he was married. And she already knew him.
Daniel Fleming 9 years ago
Anyone else a comic book nerd and realize Tim Drake is Robin's name?
#72
#74
Cherie 9 years ago
Well, the first catfish I hooked kept yelling 'Arp, arp, arp!' I learned a) that catfish get really annoyed when you catch them, and b) they make a LOT of noise about it! (I put him back in the water)
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Samuel Boucher 2 years ago
"It's okay to eat fish cause they, don't have any feeling...something in the way....hummmmm hummm
Carly Noelle 9 years ago
Actually, fish don't have feelings of pain in the same way other animals do . . .
#75
Jayne Junemann 9 years ago
maybe its just my terrible life, but this seems pretty normal to me
#76
#77
#78
Luna Lapilli 9 years ago
Hey, there's a pretty cool one in Memphis- oh who am I kidding, it's bass pro, no matter what building its in.
#80
#81
Angela Rodima 9 years ago
Blind date. Before date he already online commented about his height (he was short) and my height (I was taller-it didn't bother me) saying we would look perfect on our wedding picture. After we met he kept talking about heights his parents how short they were etc and later when after dinner he dropped me home I gave him kiss on cheek goodnight and left he texted me that I'm a teasing whore and I should never say anything about his height (I never did)
Cherie 9 years ago
Your story was better. Bet you were *broken-hearted* to never have to date him again!
Load More Replies... Elizabeth Molloy 8 years ago
What is WRONG with all these men ... or should I say BOYS? A bunch of spoilt brats!
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What do you think ?
Katherine McClure 9 years ago
Went out on a first date with a guy that was pissed at his ex girlfriend. He talked about how he was going to kill her. I made it home but I had to slam the door with his foot sticking through.
Amanda Panda 9 years ago
These were hilarious, and make even my worst date seem quite normal. I feel like most of these people were dating waaay too soon after a previous breakup
Judy Semmens 9 years ago
My worst never actually got as far as the first date. As soon as I agreed to one, he grabbed my tits (at 4:30 p.m. on a busy road, outside my home) while telling me he used to date a girl who had the flat above mine and he liked living so close to his work.
Lisa D'Avanzo 8 years ago
Yep I had a first date several years ago where the guy ordered a steak and multiple drinks. I had an unsweetened iced tea and a goat cheese salad. When the check came and it was almost $200, he wanted to split it 50/50. I told him no way and asked the waiter give us separate checks. That was one of the first times I stood up for myself.
Cherie West 8 years ago
His credit card would not work to pay for 2 drinks.......I paid. Then he messaged me before I got home and I did not respond. He then began demanding to know where I was and who I was with after our date. No second date.
Hillari Vaca 9 years ago
My first date with my now husband was very awkward. My dad showed up to the same restaurant we went to and they talked more than my date and I.
Maja Hovedskou 3 years ago
My sister has not been on dating market for more than 10 years. So when she started again she wanted to start slowly. She wanted to be friends first before being a couple. So she meets up with this dude a couple of times just as friends. They talk, laugh, watch movies. Then one day they are meeting he takes out an old dvd and says;" I got this movie from my friends a few years back. We can watch that? " she looks at the back of the movie. It says it is about a man and a woman havong a romantic story together. Then they put it on. 10-20 min into the movie he says :" they sure are having sex a lot..." like he is surprised by it. Then the man in the movie takes out a wip and this is here my sister went home... she called me when she came home and complained. It took me 2 min to realize: his friends must habe given him the movie as a joke. It was "50 shades of grey" neither my sister or the guy she dated had had ANY clue on what this movie were before watching it.
Maja Hovedskou 3 years ago
My sister was SURE it was because he was into SM. I had to tell her, he properly had no clue since his statement was "'they sure are having sex a lot" imagine being this guy. You think it is just a normal chic movie and then it is 50 shades of grey. How embarrested he must have been. Je must habe thought a 1000 times if he should turn that video off or not. And then my sister suddenly storms off poor guy. He is a country boy so he has no clue on what is fashion or whatcis in, so I really dont think he knew what that movie was. He just had it lying around for years.
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Alyssa Serio 8 years ago
A guy once asked me out to a movie that was playing the next night. I showed up early and waiting for him. After I waited a bit I seen him walk pass the theater. When I called him over he confessed that he just got really high ten minutes before, completely forgot about out date and was just walking home....
Erin Callahan 8 years ago
Met this guy from OKC we met in Bryant park. We sat and talked...he revealed to me hes broke,passion is vudeo production and likes yoga (then he immediately did a headstand) we go to donner a BBQ place...the waitress cones he annouces that hes vegan...im at a loss we share fried green tomatoes...he oays for dinner we go diwn the street for a beer where he insists i buy home a drink. I quickly diwn mine...he walks me to the subway andcsats ibwanna kiss you!! I respond... I don't kiss ppl on the 1st date... Needless to say i never saw him again.
Katherine McClure 9 years ago
Went out on a first date with a guy that was pissed at his ex girlfriend. He talked about how he was going to kill her. I made it home but I had to slam the door with his foot sticking through.
Amanda Panda 9 years ago
These were hilarious, and make even my worst date seem quite normal. I feel like most of these people were dating waaay too soon after a previous breakup
Judy Semmens 9 years ago
My worst never actually got as far as the first date. As soon as I agreed to one, he grabbed my tits (at 4:30 p.m. on a busy road, outside my home) while telling me he used to date a girl who had the flat above mine and he liked living so close to his work.
Lisa D'Avanzo 8 years ago
Yep I had a first date several years ago where the guy ordered a steak and multiple drinks. I had an unsweetened iced tea and a goat cheese salad. When the check came and it was almost $200, he wanted to split it 50/50. I told him no way and asked the waiter give us separate checks. That was one of the first times I stood up for myself.
Cherie West 8 years ago
His credit card would not work to pay for 2 drinks.......I paid. Then he messaged me before I got home and I did not respond. He then began demanding to know where I was and who I was with after our date. No second date.
Hillari Vaca 9 years ago
My first date with my now husband was very awkward. My dad showed up to the same restaurant we went to and they talked more than my date and I.
Maja Hovedskou 3 years ago
My sister has not been on dating market for more than 10 years. So when she started again she wanted to start slowly. She wanted to be friends first before being a couple. So she meets up with this dude a couple of times just as friends. They talk, laugh, watch movies. Then one day they are meeting he takes out an old dvd and says;" I got this movie from my friends a few years back. We can watch that? " she looks at the back of the movie. It says it is about a man and a woman havong a romantic story together. Then they put it on. 10-20 min into the movie he says :" they sure are having sex a lot..." like he is surprised by it. Then the man in the movie takes out a wip and this is here my sister went home... she called me when she came home and complained. It took me 2 min to realize: his friends must habe given him the movie as a joke. It was "50 shades of grey" neither my sister or the guy she dated had had ANY clue on what this movie were before watching it.
Maja Hovedskou 3 years ago
My sister was SURE it was because he was into SM. I had to tell her, he properly had no clue since his statement was "'they sure are having sex a lot" imagine being this guy. You think it is just a normal chic movie and then it is 50 shades of grey. How embarrested he must have been. Je must habe thought a 1000 times if he should turn that video off or not. And then my sister suddenly storms off poor guy. He is a country boy so he has no clue on what is fashion or whatcis in, so I really dont think he knew what that movie was. He just had it lying around for years.
Load More Replies... Alyssa Serio 8 years ago
A guy once asked me out to a movie that was playing the next night. I showed up early and waiting for him. After I waited a bit I seen him walk pass the theater. When I called him over he confessed that he just got really high ten minutes before, completely forgot about out date and was just walking home....
Erin Callahan 8 years ago
Met this guy from OKC we met in Bryant park. We sat and talked...he revealed to me hes broke,passion is vudeo production and likes yoga (then he immediately did a headstand) we go to donner a BBQ place...the waitress cones he annouces that hes vegan...im at a loss we share fried green tomatoes...he oays for dinner we go diwn the street for a beer where he insists i buy home a drink. I quickly diwn mine...he walks me to the subway andcsats ibwanna kiss you!! I respond... I don't kiss ppl on the 1st date... Needless to say i never saw him again.
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