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50 People Reveal What Made Them Decide To Never Have Kids Because I genuinely would not be happy with kids. I strongly believe that all kids deserve to be wanted, but not all people deserve to be parents.

Express_Topic_4081 , Shane Report

Final score:

341points

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Pirates of Zen Pants 2 years ago

Yes. Some people don't deserve to be parents because of the damage they would do to a kid, and some don't deserve to be parents because of the damage having a kid would do to them.

102points

50 People Reveal What Made Them Decide To Never Have Kids I'm selfish when it comes to my quiet time. I love being alone.

anon , Jeswin Thomas Report

Final score:

339points

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GenXandEarnedItAll 2 years ago

Being a parent and also an introvert is very difficult.

81points

Even though increasingly more people pass on the whole kid thing, there’s still a fair share of stigma in society surrounding this decision. Especially from people who see little ones as a crucial part of having a fulfilled family. They often find it hard to accept that not everyone is meant to have children, often making insensitive comments and insisting that childfree people will certainly someday change their minds. But just as some people have zero doubts about becoming moms and dads one day, others know parenthood just isn’t for them.

To learn more about the pressures people without kids face, we reached out to Erin Spurling, a writer, editor, and founder of Curiously Childfree. She set up this safe space to build a supportive community where she can leave a mark, advocate for change, help people feel heard and connect with each other.

"Everybody has their own reasons for choosing to be childfree," she told Bored Panda. "But based on myself and other childfree people (men and women) I have met, the recurring reasons seem to be simply no desire or pull towards parenthood and enjoying their life as it is; environmental concerns, health issues, and having experienced an unpleasant upbringing themselves."

50 People Reveal What Made Them Decide To Never Have Kids I think having children isn't something you do because you don't have a reason not to. I would have children if I had a really good reason to, and I don't. It's an important, life changing decision that involves an innocent person being brought into the world. I don't think I should do that just because might as well.

DM_Rexy , cottonbro Report

Final score:

276points

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Mrs. Jan Glass 2 years ago

This was the question we kept revisiting every few years: how would our lives and marriage improve if we had a kid? We could never, ever find any real ways that having a kid or kids would make our lives together any better, and would likely only make things worse and more stressful.

80points

50 People Reveal What Made Them Decide To Never Have Kids They’re expensive, loud, time consuming, and don’t smell good.

Plus I don’t feel like putting my body through a year of physical hell just to follow it up with 18 years of putting my goals and career to the side to make sure it doesn’t stick a fork in a socket or swallow a bee.

thatbikerchick51 , Joe Green Report

Final score:

261points

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Mrs. Jan Glass 2 years ago

The physical aspect of pregnancy, childbirth, and postpartum sounds like an absolute horror show to me. I was only pregnant for 6 weeks, but I was so sick I could hardly function. And that's before you push a watermelon out of your vagina and then can't pee normally for the rest of your life. So not for me.

100points

UlyssesSStarlord , jamessutton_photography Report

50 People Reveal What Made Them Decide To Never Have Kids Firstly, the world's a s***show.

Second, there are enough kids in the world that need homes. If I wanted kids, I’d foster or adopt.

Third, I grew up being bullied a LOT. Oddly, I used to get along with the parents of my bullies. It made me realise that, while how someone’s brought up can affect who they are, yes, a lot of people are shitty despite their parents. Also it made me realise how often kids lie about who they are to their parents, taking on personas to appease them to their face while being horrible to others behind their backs. I don’t want to bring another horrible person into the world.

Not a universal experience, but it’s mine.

But also, again, the world’s a s***show.

Final score:

229points

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Jo Ellen Washburn 2 years ago

This is a thoughtful entry and something I hadn't thought about.

51points

Erin pointed out that many more elements go into making this choice, "and often it is a combination of multiple reasons." The above-mentioned survey by Pew Research Center confirms this. It found there is no sole driving force behind Americans giving up on childbearing in droves. Less than half (43%) of respondents alluded to medical and financial factors behind their decision, as well as having no partner, their or their partner’s age, and the general state of the world right now.

Interestingly, 56% of people said they do not want to have children because… they simply do not want to have children. The majority provided no particular reason behind their choice, something that would not have been socially acceptable a few decades ago. After all, in previous generations parenthood, especially for women, was a default path everyone had to take. But thankfully, more people now see it as an option that allows them to lead their lives the way they prefer.

50 People Reveal What Made Them Decide To Never Have Kids I never understood why so many want children. Life is a huge adventure without children . With children it’s a job for twenty years .

Hotspur2018 , Oliver Sjöström Report

Final score:

224points

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Pirates of Zen Pants 2 years ago

I like that BP's idea of a "huge adventure" is the gentleman in the swimming shorts. Mrrrowr, BP.

56points

And don't forget the backpack. He's got places to be!

25points

Viau Anna 2 years ago

And he's about to throw a backpack into the sea, for some obscure reason...

6points

JustSomeScroller 2 years ago

A man as hot as that on a yacht can always take me on adventure 🤭😂

2points

ZenChickChristine 2 years ago

Unrelated-your username made my day.

0points

Vinita Talaulikar 2 years ago (edited)

It is not a job of twenty years but lifetime. Some parents worry lifetime if that child is having addictions, some major illness, child not settled in a job or career, abandoned education and sponging on the parents for basic necessities. And to pass on DNA with health issues...

26points

KWhiskers 2 years ago

Exactly what I was going to say! Every good parent will spend a lifetime (hopefully their own) worrying about how their child is faring. Everyone has ups and downs throughout life whether it's physical, mental, emotional, financial, whatever. It's like anyone in your life you care about, but with the added dynamic of being their parent and all that entails.

10points

Mbfsc63 2 years ago

Why so.manyndown votes????? People who don't want kids should be applauded for having the intestinal fortitude to be honest. If only the breeders cod be as honest........

17points

B. Dahl 2 years ago (edited)

Because people who have kids are envious now of those who chose not to because they have free time and extra money and can make plans to do fun things with other adults.

7points

BadCat 2 years ago

Perhaps it's because you're putting down people who wanted to have kids and actually enjoy being parents, and find they have a life, too.

4points

JMil 2 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

0points

Mrs. Jan Glass 2 years ago (edited)

This is one of our main reasons for not having kids. We have too much fun together, exploring! I'd rather have the experiences we've had -- seeing the greatest works of art and architecture, living in historic places, going to concerts, eating at some of the best restaurants in the world, exploring countries and learning about the world -- than kids, any day!

13points

kit kat 2 years ago

But why is it either or?

1point

Sammie 19 2 years ago

Sounds absolutely amazing. Meanwhile I'm waiting for my eldest daughter to call asking me to babysit for her kids. Your life sounds better by a million %

1point

Lachlan Campbell 2 years ago

As a guy who follows the belief of the Sload (a fictional race) whose language doesn’t even have a word for adventure, with the closest being ‘tragic disaster’ you completely terrify me.

0points

JMil 2 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

0points

Mila Preradović 2 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Alicia Rius 2 years ago

A job for 20 years he says...It's a life time job!

11points

alwaysMispelled 2 years ago

I don't even feel like most people "want" kids, it's more that they consider it a thing they have to do/expect to do, not a choice that they can make for themselves.

7points

Mrs. Jan Glass 2 years ago

Exactly. Even just considering "Wait. I don't HAVE to have kids!" for the first time was a mindblowing realization. We gotta question those assumptions hard.

5points

Ueda 2 years ago

Life is an adventure with kids as well. :/

5points

Kaori Fbj 2 years ago

Not twenty year, a lifetime.

4points

giku T 2 years ago

it's a job for a lifetime , not just twenty years.

4points

Yayheterogeneity 2 years ago

But one of the best ones for some of us. It's everyone for their own choices.

4points

Peter Ledoux 2 years ago

Not 20 years, it's a life sentence.

3points

Chel Bolin 2 years ago

And no money for adventures

3points

Peaches GreFra 2 years ago

I can't upvote this enough! Team no kids

3points

Dorothy Stovall 2 years ago

It's a job for LIFE, not just once they're 18 or 21.

3points

Patti Wagner 2 years ago

Actually, it is a lifelong job!

2points

Keller22 2 years ago

Actually, it's for life.

2points

L hill 2 years ago

Lifes a huge adventure, especially when its with a guy in the photo.

2points

David Gripon 2 years ago

I do understand that point, but it was my most favorite job ever.

1point

Chuck Berry 2 years ago

Try forever

1point

Mike Loux 2 years ago

Dude, if you're gonna throw away a perfectly good backpack like that, give it to me instead.

1point

Jan Medina 2 years ago

It's a lifetime job. You have to be willing to watch your heart walk around outside your body for the rest of your life. You may want to consider a vasectomy.

1point

Skippy LaRue 2 years ago

More than 20 years if your kids don’t get it right too.

0points

Shauna Voigt 2 years ago

It's a lifetime job. I don't quit being a parent because my kids become adults.

0points

Mr. Pigeon 2 years ago

but a job well worth it....

0points

Lee 2 years ago

Or more in this financial climate. My friend's kid is going to be living with her until he's 47, I swear.

0points

Hubert Martin 2 years ago

Yeah, raising someone who doesn't understand why they were born and thus views the world as their personal playground. I never understood why childless couples didn't view their actions as longterm suicide? This world is too big for one lifetime. Go ahead, visit 200 countries. You'll never be anywhere.

-1point

kit kat 2 years ago

It's funny reading these comments. People think it's an either or situation. Like, life doesn't stop just because you start a family. You still go on adventures, vacations, fancy restaurants etc having kids doesn't stop that lol

-2points

Sarah McBride 2 years ago

Well, we just got finished taking our 3 and 6 year old on a flight to go adventure in some cool places. We all had a blast and it's so satisfying to see their wide eyes and amazement and to see how much they learn.

-2points

Moxxidude 2 years ago

Parenting isn’t a job if you do it correctly. Yes mistakes will be made, yes there will be tough times but watching the growth, maturity and life experience that evolves before your very eyes is mind-blowing. And if you do it right, your kid might experience some of that too.

-2points

Mrs. Jan Glass 2 years ago

I'd rather have the mind-blowing growth and experience that came from my education, travel, and taking care of my mental health. I don't need to bring kids into the world in order to grow.

16points

KWhiskers 2 years ago

Many people love their jobs, but they're still jobs. When you take on that role you take on a set of responsibilities. Just like any job there are certain things you can't pick and choose whether to take care of. And just like any job mistakes will be made bc we are human, but you take responsibility, make corrections and just do your best.

7points

Ladytron 2 years ago

Maybe I do it the wrong way then...because yes, sometimes being a parent feels a lot like a job. It's responsibility that you can't leave. Just like working and know you have to deal with it because it's what you are supposed to do - even if you don't want to. I agree that it's wonderful to see your kids evolve, and it forces you to really work on your own issues as well. That's hard but beneficial parts of parenthood. But some aspects still feel like a job, yes. Like burdens of housework (that multiplies a lot once you have kids), practical matters of packing gym bags and prepare clothes etc and the overall constant planning and "have things under control" that is crucial when you have kids for example.

5points

Pascale Radi 2 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Felisae Moon 2 years ago

Well, I would rather decide that having children is a bad idea before having children.

2points

Natalie 2 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

50 People Reveal What Made Them Decide To Never Have Kids I have zero desire or instinct to be a mom.
Life is enough work without kids. With kids looks straight up awful. I don't know any parents that make having kids look attractive.

alieninhumanskin10 , cottonbro Report

Final score:

202points

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Linda Santiago 2 years ago

At least these people recognize and make the conscious and mature decision not to have kids. So many people have kids that shouldn't. This is definetly the responsible course to tale.

52points

50 People Reveal What Made Them Decide To Never Have Kids Why not?
This is just like asking why someone doesn't want a dog. They dont want to.

anon , mslavick Report

Final score:

188points

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Kyrsten Torrey 2 years ago

I completely agree. There doesnt need to be a reason, and we certainly don't have to disclose the reason to anyone!

68points

darthfruitbasket , Maria Eduarda Loura Magalhães Report

There’s still a lot of resistance, however. "I think the stigma stems from many people still being raised in cultures where life is expected to follow a particular pattern e.g. education > job > house purchase > marriage > children > retirement > grandchildren," Erin said.

"Likewise, there is still an attitude of a life, particularly a woman’s life, having little meaning or worth without children in it. Fulfillment can take on many forms though, and purpose can come from so many aspects of life, not just children," she added.

#10

50 People Reveal What Made Them Decide To Never Have Kids I refuse to f**k up a child as badly as my parents f****d me up, and I don't think I could cope with being responsible for an infant or a toddler. Also, my genes aren't worth passing on.

Final score:

180points

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Pirates of Zen Pants 2 years ago (edited)

Darthfruitbasket, stay out of my diary!

38points

#11

50 People Reveal What Made Them Decide To Never Have Kids Because I would rather enjoy life.

DravenPrime , Peter Conlan Report

Final score:

167points

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Elizabeth Persyn 2 years ago

This is the best thing I've ever read.

28points

#12

50 People Reveal What Made Them Decide To Never Have Kids Having kids isn’t for everyone. We need to get rid of this idea that ‘having kids is the norm’ or ‘what adults do like get a job, buy a house and have a family.’

I don’t feel that we’re on earth to tick boxes. It’s about living what is true for our own evolution as a human being, a spirit in incarnation. So whatever that may look like, wether it’s having a family of 6 children (me being one of such off-spring) or if it’s buying a clapped out old farm and turning it into a dog rescue place then do that.

Jinobin , apsprudente Report

Final score:

165points

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Phoebe Bean 2 years ago (edited)

Childless here. Having a child or not is a very personal decision and it should be respected because it´s nobody´s business but our own. Sometimes motherhood or fatherhood is not in you. People are so easy to judge others just because they do not conform to their own "reproductive" views. You don´t know if others are sterile or have a medical condition that prevents them to get pregnant. Financial and psychological/emotional reasons are serious ones and should be taken into consideration as well. Being childless does not make one selfish, cruel or a second-class citizen. (I had a very happy childhood with awesome parents, in case you are wondering.) So, please respect our life´s choices.

53points

haircatmoon , Boxed Water Is Better Report

The good news is that a turn regarding these attitudes in society is becoming more evident, and Erin herself has noticed a slow but steady change during her lifetime. "When I first voiced that I didn’t want to have children, there was a lot of very harsh judgment, right up to five or six years ago. But in the last few years, that certainly hasn’t seemed quite so harsh. There is still a long way to go but hopefully, in time, it will become more accepted as more people start to view children as a choice rather than an obligation or expectancy."

#13

50 People Reveal What Made Them Decide To Never Have Kids I have no desire to raise a child, or care for one, or be responsible for one. I am lazy, I can take care of myself just fine, but the extra work to raise a child for something I don't want isn't worth it. I want financial freedom, freedom to make spontaneous decisions, children wouldn't allow for that

Final score:

147points

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Moxxidude 2 years ago

Agreed. Not everyone should have kids. I see people everyday who have kids who shouldn’t have. If you know deep down that you’ll be a miserable parent, don’t dip the stick. Better you have the freedom to daydream that you can jet off to Paris for weekend than the reality of changing some screaming Eraserhead Baby on a Walmart bathroom change table at 1am.

31points

#14

50 People Reveal What Made Them Decide To Never Have Kids Pregnancy seems difficult, birth seems even harder and if that weren’t enough kids are expensive as s**t. Last reason is that I don’t want children to be in this f****d up world

ChilxTheGreat Report

Final score:

135points

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Who Panda 420 2 years ago

My BFF likes to say that having a kid is like buying a Lamborghini that you can't drive. In other words you spend enough in a child's life to at least buy a Lamborghini.

20points

#15

50 People Reveal What Made Them Decide To Never Have Kids I am physically disabled with a genetic circulation condition. I don't want to pass my condition onto others, and the physical aspects of raising children would be too much strain on me.

odysseyshot , Honza Soukup Report

Final score:

129points

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Who Panda 420 2 years ago

This is me too I have fibromyalgia, bad anxiety, depression and circular vomiting syndrome. I'm being pressured to have a kid because I'm running out of time on my biological clock. But I know I have enough trouble taking care of myself when I'm sick let alone a kid. I don't want to pass on these issues to the child and I don't want that child to have to suffer because I'm not feeling well.

46points

ReluctantlySocialGuy , derekowensheart Report

Foregoing parenthood is a measured and thought-out decision, regardless of what society tells you. "I always say that for me, the initial choice was more of a gut instinct, I’ve just never had any desire to be a parent," Erin revealed. "But as I’ve got older and experienced more of life, many other factors have come into play to solidify that decision. I’m more self-aware and know my personal limitations; I would want to be able to provide certain things without strain financially; the current environmental crisis; and not having a local support network — all our family and friends are quite spread out."

#16

50 People Reveal What Made Them Decide To Never Have Kids Too much responsibility.

I much rather be a fun uncle/older cousin than a parent

Final score:

125points

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Pirates of Zen Pants 2 years ago (edited)

Yay! Being an aunt is great.

31points

flaming_steel_kick Report

#17

Have you seen the state of the world lately? Global warming, peak oil is happening, water shortage, micro plastics are in our food and body. In short have you seen Mad Max? I don’t want to subject a new person to any of those never mind all of them.
Edit: also a good amount of animals are going extinct, imagine having to explain what a rhinoceros or an elephant is when your kid sees one in a movie or something. Imagine having a child and by the time they’re 21 a lot of fish have been overfished to near extinction. The world sucks.

Final score:

125points

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1ch0 2 years ago (edited)

Not to mention the political Development. USA developing into a fascist state, russia invading other countries after long peace time in europe. Drastically increasing prices for living in europe.. The world is turning to s**t at the moment. Nuclear war used as a threat..

42points

#18

How much time ya got?

I've spent most of my life living for other people's dreams. I finally have some financial independence and the ability to pursue my own ideas. Why would I give that up to serve another person for two decades?

The world does not need more people. The carbon footprint of bringing a human into this world is enormous.

Kids are f*****g expensive. I can't afford to do it right.

I deal with depression and frankly don't know that I would be an excellent parent. I don't like to do things if I don't think I can excel at them, especially not something as serious as raising another human. My folks f****d me up because despite being amazing people they had no clue how to be parents. I don't want to do the same.

My partner and I are perfectly happy with two dogs and a cat.

I don't like most people because they are generally selfish, shortsighted, and shitty. Kids are just this to the maximum. I fear I would dislike my kids on top of resenting them.

Having kids is extremely narcissistic. It's a desire to see yourself remade and perpetuate your impact on the world beyond your death. To do so despite what it costs the world is ultimately selfish.

The world doesn't need more humans.

Humans are a cancer on the natural world.

The World. Doesn't. Need. More. Humans.

I reiterate this last bit because the drive to reproduce manifests everywhere in human culture. Religion, mother-worship, &c. It's so deep in us that I feel like people need to hear it multiple times to actually understand: the world does not need more humans.

huggybear0132 Report

Final score:

120points

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Mrs. Jan Glass 2 years ago

Seriously. Having kids is incredibly selfish. Every reason I hear is rooted in selfishness. Furthermore, with my issues w anxiety and depression, anything to do with pregnancy hormones + raising a kid or kids = disaster. I'd never be able to function for the rest of my life, I'd be too worried about all the horrible things that could go wrong with them.

40points

The creator of Curiously Childfree noted people’s reluctance or inability to wrap their heads around this decision partly stems from the culture that still places enormous emphasis on fixed life patterns, and children bringing meaning to life. "But on top of that, I think some people’s desire to become a parent is so strong, that they can’t fathom why anyone wouldn’t want to do it."

"It's often suggested that those who choose to not have children are selfish but I don’t think that’s true," Erin continued. "Most of us consider whether we would be good parents and/or could provide the life we believe the child deserves, and if we can’t, then we don’t become parents. We are considering the implications for that unborn child, who may not get everything they need from us, for whatever reason/s."

#19

50 People Reveal What Made Them Decide To Never Have Kids Expensive, plus being a teacher I have seen enough and don't want to come home to dealing with more kids.

anon , Pixabay Report

Final score:

97points

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DuchessDegu 2 years ago

My friend love kids and since she was a teen she was on and on about how she wanted at least 3 kids someday so she'd have to work hard and save etc. She went to become a primary teacher so she could be surrounded by kids. One year into TA and she decided she didn't want kids ever as she's seen just how much work they are (that was over 30 years ago and she still doesn't want kids, she's a secondary teacher now!)

18points

#20

50 People Reveal What Made Them Decide To Never Have Kids The question is always "why don't people want to have children?" when it should be "why do they want it?"

Not wanting children doesn't change anyone's life, while having them is a huge responsibility and most people don't even think it through. Are you ready to put another human being first for at least 18 years? Are you ready to work HARD to make sure the child will grow up healthy, happy and adjusted? Because it's a lot of work, and every child has different needs. What if your child is different than you expected, are you ready to completely love them , to change your approach to parenthood to make sure it works with them?

It's like getting a dog: if you are getting one, you need to think about it first, do you have the space, the time, etc? Why is it different with kids? People who want children should ask themselves if they actually want to do the work or if they only want kids because society says they should.

lucyvgu , kelli_mcclintock Report

Final score:

97points

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Stretsh 2 years ago (edited)

This is kinda the conversation I had with my SO. Turns out she wanted kids, because, "you know, that's the norm! You are expected to have kids, parents and especially grandparents constantly remind you that they are looking forward to their grandkids". Then we started listing the responsibilities, the tasks, what to expect, from conception to birth (changes in body, mood, health, work, free time/vacations, child-proofing), birth to kindergarten (sleepless nights, healing body, breastfeeding, monitoring child's health/behavior, less or adapted traveling [Edit: had to add "A LOT of poop/urine removal" to this list...]), kindergarten to puberty (bullying/being bullied, homework, body changes, mood swings, boy/girlfriends), just to mention a few things we discussed. We also looked at the possible costs in each stage. After a few days she let me know that she thinks she wants to hold off having kids for a few more years. She wants to enjoy life a bit first, while she evaluates her position on having kids.

26points

Branquignol , B h A v i k S u T h a r Report

#21

50 People Reveal What Made Them Decide To Never Have Kids Many reasons:
- i like being alone
- i value more than anything my personal/lonely time
- i don't want or need to significantly change my life. It took me 35 years to feel confortable
- i'm not close to finish travelling the world whenever i want
- i'm not rich and don't want to spent my extra money on raising a child
- i find a dog more cute than a baby or a child
- i don't like noise and scream
- i don't think it's necessary to repopulate this world
- i don't feel the need to have someone with my blood
- i don't feel the need to pass on a legacy as i don't have anything particular
- i don't feel the urgency to have someone taking care of me when i'll be old and honestly i find it a little bit selfish
- i seriously lack of self confidence and i don't want to raise a slobby shy child
- i feel pretty childish in my head and need "to go back" to that spirit.

Final score:

91points

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Stretsh 2 years ago

"i don't feel the need to have someone with my blood" and" i don't feel the need to pass on a legacy". These are the two reasons I heard the most for why I should be children! "To preserve your bloodline abs to pass on your legacy!" Well, fortunately, my SO and I have siblings and siblings-in-law go already have children, so no need to worry about the bloodline. My legacy? I'm here to live life to the fullest possible... How's that for legacy?!

22points

Remarkable_Language8 Report

Apart from the social stigma that inevitably comes when one decides to opt out of parenthood, there’s also the pressure from friends and family members who consistently ask to reconsider. According to Erin, lots of parents have hopes of having grandchildren one day, so the pressure can often come from them. Moreover, having kids is emphasized within certain cultures and religions too, so that becomes an added strain. "Once siblings and friends start having them, then questions often begin," she said.

"I’m due to get married next month, and although my fiancé and I have always been very open with family and friends about not wanting to have children, I am still fully expecting questions to start after the wedding, on the assumption that being married might change our minds."

#22

Because I love being alone, I love silence, I love being relaxed, I love having time for myself, I love spoiling myself, I love that nobody’s life depends on me. I’d rather have a dog than a child. Dogs are better than humans.

Final score:

88points

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Deborah B 2 years ago

Dogs give you unconditional love, are less work, and mostly don't talk. I see the benefits, but I went with a cat. Pros: daily walks not required, purring, Cons: cats will judge you. Mine disapproves of visitors staying more than an hour.

2points

#23

Dude, I can barely take care of *me*.

Final score:

80points

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1ch0 2 years ago

Same. ^^

16points

#24

To start with, they're super expensive, and my husband and I can barely pay our bills each month. Secondly, US maternity and paternity leave is a joke, not to mention our s**t medical/insurance situation and Republicans trying to make it illegal to terminate ectopic pregnancies (or any pregnancy). Thirdly, climate change and rejection of any effort to curb it doesn't exactly inspire me to produce a kid. Fourthly, the rise of Nazism, conspiracy theorists (Q and antivaxxers, for instance), white supremacy, and nationalists who seem to live for violence does not inspire confidence in a rosy future. Fifthly, I'm not eager to deal with another person's bodily fluids on the regular.

TimmyIV Report

Final score:

78points

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1ch0 2 years ago

Glad I dont even live in the US. I wouldnt want kids there.

25points

Needless to say, it can be very annoying when others continually ask personal questions instead of minding their own business and respecting our choices. Erin explained that these behaviors can create a sense that people (family or not) think we don’t know our own minds. "[This] is very frustrating, especially as nobody would question us if we did want to have them, despite the huge, life-altering implications of having a child. Very few people ask those who want to be parents, whether they are completely sure — it’s just accepted and celebrated."

#25

50 People Reveal What Made Them Decide To Never Have Kids *gestures broadly*

lasagnaromance , Paul Report

Final score:

76points

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SSG49 2 years ago

This is the best reason.

27points

#26

50 People Reveal What Made Them Decide To Never Have Kids I can't care for myself when i'm down, so how can i care for a child?

BeeAdorable7871 , adroman Report

Final score:

75points

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Lori w 2 years ago (edited)

I have had anxiety and depression for over 20 years. No kids. It baffles me how people will say how horrible their mental illness is and then willingly have a bunch of kids, who are very likely to have both a genetic and environmental probability for mental illness. I've spent everyday wishing I was dead, there's no way in hell I'd ever willingly bring a child into the world with the same illness. I had good parents, but my brain is just not wired correctly. Kudos to you. I hope you find your way through the darkness ❤️

27points

#27

Many people would tell me that I'm still too young to know, but here are some reasons:

1. I am really afraid of vomit. Morning sickness and puking children sounds like something outta a horror movie to me.

2. The process of birth is super painful and absolutely terrifying.

3. I don't want to ruin my body after birth. I see how unhappy my mom is with her body (after three kids) and that makes me so sad and discourages me from wanting kids.

4. Sleepless nights

5. My dream career is super busy and highly demanding. If I ever suceed in that field, I don't know if I will have time for kids.

6. I've seen how bratty some kids are. No thanks.

7. Kids are very f*****g expensive to take care for. I've seen so many people who are financially not in the place to have more than one kids. Somehow they have multiple kids and are struggling so much.

8. Kids crying p**s me off beyond belief. Like, to the point, that I wanna smack them in the face and yell "SHUT UP!" That's not something a mom should think.

9. Seeing bratty kids get owned gives me seratonin.

I am well aware that this mindset could change, and I have absolutely nothing against people who decide to have kids, but so far I am worrying about school and my future and kids terrify me. I may consider adopting an older kid in the future when I'm the right age, graduated everything I need (if I do) and have some kind of stable career.

If you wanna have kids - have kids, but I'm not exited for upcomming questions from my relatives when I'm older: "When will you give us grandchildren? Are you still single? When will you have kids?" Ugh.

P. S. I'm also bisexual female, so, more life choices for my relatives to judge me on :)

curly_bi_biatch Report

Final score:

75points

POST

v 2 years ago

"I'm still too young to know"...You've listed 9 conclusions for you and each of these required thought and consideration to reach. You even capped it off by acknowledging that any or all conclusions may change. No, you're not too young to know. Far too many adults just like to pretend that they know all and kids are stupid so that they can maintain the upper hand in the power struggle of their making.

30points

If you feel like you have to defend your "selfish" childfree lifestyle and struggle with countless comments and questions from others, Erin had a few pieces of advice to share. "Be safe in the knowledge that nobody knows you like you do. Friends and family might want you to have children but only you know what is truly right for you. Acknowledge that you might regret it, because you might, in the same way you could regret literally any decision you make in life — none of us can predict the future."

"You have to make a decision based on what you know and feel right now, and fear of missing out or someone else’s opinion are never good enough reasons to have a child. Also, don’t feel that you always have to justify your choice (I used to feel like this) — 'I don’t want to have children' is a complete sentence. It doesn’t have to be, 'I don’t want children because of X, Y and Z,'" Erin concluded.

#28

50 People Reveal What Made Them Decide To Never Have Kids Known since middle school.

Didn't have a cheery upbringing. Lot of friends growing up didn't either. I spent a lot of my childhood being mad about my circumstances in life, and the circumstances of others and fighting (sometimes literally) for them. I got to see how others were raised. I got to see all the little broken ways they developed. I hated it. Life was too precious and too great to risk it crashing down due to someone "trying their best" when their best just flat out isn't enough for a kid. I feared I'd never be able to do that. For me or anyone. It made me very avoidant of relationships too. I was everybody's friend, nobody's best friend. Attachments made me anxious. They still do. Cause after all, I'm as broken as all the people I tried to protect and fix.

That's why I don't want kids. That's why I never want to raise kids. I know perfect shouldn't be the enemy of good, but I feel like even good isn't achievable in this world, by me. Not now, and likely never. My failings shouldn't be the failings of my offspring, much as my parents' failings shaped the failings I have today still.

guizemen , Kasia Report

Final score:

72points

POST

Abby F 2 years ago

Wow. I hope you see you are worth more than what you’re parents made you feel you ought to be smh. I realize now at thirty how much of an impact my childhood has had on me and my relationships. I had a destroyed childhood and I have destroyed all the relationships I have been in. Time for me to sit back and grow and have self love. You have to tell yourself you’re worth it and your beautiful and if you don’t feel like you are cry and say I AM !!

21points

booksandchampagne , the_heaven_girl Report

#29

50 People Reveal What Made Them Decide To Never Have Kids I don't want to destroy my body and be treated as an incubator and lose my identity as a person. Pregnancy seems to give all of society the right to judge and demand behaviour of women with no inclination to actually help them. I have a friend whose organs fall out if her bowel movement is too hard and the surgery to fix it is "elective".

The horror birthing stories I've had to listen to has been enough to validate my decision.

Final score:

70points

POST

Mrs. Jan Glass 2 years ago

The "lose my identity as a person" was a huge thing for me, too. I don't want to be "a mom!!" or "Mommy!" or "___' and ___'s Mom!" as my primary identity. Or even secondary. But if a woman has kids, she is rarely seen as anything but "a mom!" and if you even HINT that that's not a satisfactory identity, then whoooo, cue the insults.

22points

#30

50 People Reveal What Made Them Decide To Never Have Kids Self-awareness. I am the one to end the family curse of anger, violence, betrayal and gaslighting. I am not going to put my future children in that situation. Also, cancer, diabetes and bad cholesterol run in the family.

I am good with my pets. Cats and dogs. I love them and they give me the love I need in my life to function in this world and actually live a peaceful and purposeful life. I have friends who can't and do not want children as well so I am in the right crowd and dont feel like I am missing out on something.

summertimepeace , Ben White Report

Final score:

66points

POST

Lady Goldberry 2 years ago

Good introspection here. My siblings and I are ending the cycle of abuse and nastiness that occurred within the last few generations of family by treating our children as human beings with minds of their own, as opposed to pawns in a game.

15points

#31

We're overpopulated and destroying this world. There are plenty of children who already exist and who are suffering. Things like jobs are limited, if I bring a child into the world as I'm in a fairly good economic position, I'd like to give that child everything I can, that child would have an almost guaranteed place in a good university and would only make things harder for the ones who already have it worse. That child would become part of the problem (and you could say "ok, but you can teach that child about inequality, etc." but that child has no reason to be interested on the topic or to listen to me).

Children don't need to be born. As they don't exist, they need nothing. Bringing them into the world would make them have needs. Needs bring suffering, suffering is part of existing, as dying or seeing the ones you love die also is.

I can't guarantee that my children would be born healthy, or would remain healthy during their lives. Many things can happen over which you've got no control, and you won't always be able to solve their problems. Your child can be raped, your child can rape someone else, etc.

I understand that my children could be people with very different interests from mine or have a totally different personality. We could not get along, I could cause trauma to them, etc. I've got no reason to think I'd be a particularly good parent, and I think most people suck at parenting.

I also think that we humans have a tendency to be unhappy, to focus on what's missing. I don't think I know many happy people, so it seems unlikely to me that they would be happy as adults anyway.

Then comes money, giving birth, sleepless nights, etc, etc.

needtogetcreative Report

Final score:

64points

POST

Lady Goldberry 2 years ago

Again, really well thought out.

11points

Delicious-Carpet-3 Report

#32

I want to spend my *entire* life doing things for myself and focusing on my own happiness. I have career goals that would be hindered by childcare. The expenses of children are not worth it. I also have a genetic movement disorder that I wouldn't wish on anyone.

Most importantly, I would resent motherhood. It wouldn't be fair on the child. Kids deserve to feel wanted, and I wouldn't be able to provide that.

Final score:

62points

POST

Mrs. Jan Glass 2 years ago (edited)

Agreed. I wanted a PhD, not children. Made the right choice. (ETA: Downvoting this only makes this post's point, you know.)

36points

CompetitiveVanilla14 , Anna Hecker Report

#33

50 People Reveal What Made Them Decide To Never Have Kids Pregnancy is so gross to me

Final score:

57points

POST

Mrs. Jan Glass 2 years ago

I got hit with all of the "pregnancy is so beautiful, being a mom is the best, hardest job a woman can do!" propaganda all my life. Thankfully, I found out about a lot of the other stuff--PPD/PPP, the "green show," growing more hair and your feet getting bigger, gestational diabetes--before I fell for the b.s.

16points

#34

50 People Reveal What Made Them Decide To Never Have Kids Have you looked out the window lately? Why would I actively help someone's life be miserable?

DickieGreenleaf84 , lazywhiskey Report

Final score:

56points

POST

Mbfsc63 2 years ago

Yesyes

3points

#35

I just don’t want f*****g kids man.. nothing about them seems pleasant. Loud, ignorant, “my mommy says I can eat chips like that”, beating up my stuff, “watch me” and then do some dumb a*s s**t. Nah man, kids aren’t for me.

Runs into a wall and screams uncontrollably, they’re f*****g expensive, have to share every f*****g thing because they don’t understand boundaries, having to teach them what a boundary is, being seen as a bad parent because my kid is crying, being seen as a bad parent because my kid gets what he wants, can’t have quiet time, parental problems, child support, disappointing them in the future, having to think not only for yourself but for them too, running around doing things because you have too, not being able to just walk away, no spontaneous plans allowed, can’t sleep, s**t diapers and s**t toys that cost 100+ and either breaks or they don’t care enough to play with them, school funding, can’t invest, can’t have your favourite food because they’ll beg and cry if you don’t give ‘em any, formula is expensive asf. Please do I need to go on?

krookedkaptain420 Report

Final score:

53points

POST

Mrs. Jan Glass 2 years ago

They just relentlessly take over every element of your lives. Can't do it.

15points

hundredjono , Michał Parzuchowski Report

#36

50 People Reveal What Made Them Decide To Never Have Kids I don't wanna bring kids into this f****d up a*s world

Final score:

52points

POST

Pirates of Zen Pants 2 years ago

I can imagine all kinds of worlds I'd be willing to bring a kid into. This isn't one of them. My three best friends have kids, and I respect that, but they are much more optimistic.

20points

#37

Well for starters I don’t like kids. I don’t like sticky hands. I don’t like messes. I don’t like having to assure there’s no monsters under the bed or explain why it’s important to wash your hands. I don’t want to have to do any of that.

Second, it’s just a financial nightmare, especially currently. I can’t even afford to buy a house, I sure as f**k can’t afford to provide for a tiny human! Hell, I can barely afford to provide for myself.

Third, my mom has rheumatoid arthritis. I have been her caregiver since I was a teenager. My dad worked late hours to provide for us. He died of cancer when I was 21. Since then it’s been me looking after her, while getting through school and pursuing my own life goals. I gave up my adolescence being someone’s caretaker. I don’t want to give up my middle age to the same thing.

Fourth, look at the planet. Not the people, not the governments, not the war, not any of that mess. Look. At. The Planet. Rising temperatures, dwindling resources, increasingly volatile weather patterns. This generation is the last one to enjoy a world that is anything like the one of our past. Future generations have a mess of environmental issues to contend with, and I don’t wish it on anyone.

I would feel horribly guilty bringing a child into this world knowing the nightmare of environmental fuckery that’s going to be just reaching its stride when I check out.

Finally, and most importantly, I don’t want to dedicate my life to raising someone else! I want financial and physical freedom. I don’t want to have to find a babysitter, or hire a nanny, or pay for school! I want to be able to go on a weekend getaway on a whim. I like being able to buy myself a goodie or treat here and there without worrying about paying for junior’s daycare. Most important of all, I want to be able to come home and do whatever the hell I want to do, not help a kid with homework, and bedtime, and all that stuff.

The5Virtues Report

Final score:

51points

POST

Mrs. Jan Glass 2 years ago

"I don’t want to dedicate my life to raising someone else!" needs to be in giant neon letters. I had too much work re-raising myself.

17points

#38

50 People Reveal What Made Them Decide To Never Have Kids I can tell my partner I love her more than anyone else in the world and actually mean it.

Chrisnolliedelves , huuduong Report

Final score:

49points

POST

Connie Kendall 2 years ago

This is really sweet. :)

12points

#39

People say it changes your life. My life is awesome and I don't want it changing. I'm 40, never married and me and my girlfriend do what we want, when we want.
Why would we give this up to change shitty nappies, halve the amount of hours we sleep, lose our social life and spend all our money on kids? Mental.

i_like_flies_ Report

Final score:

48points

POST

Mbfsc63 2 years ago

No reason to bring unwanted children into this world. THANK YOU!!!!!!!

16points

Responsible-Page-344 Report

#40

I don't want them to suffer

Final score:

47points

POST

N R 2 years ago

Han han chal kuch Naya suna

-1point

#41

They s**t themselves. They drink too much milk and puke cottage cheese. Annoying most of the time. Can't talk right for like 2-3 years, then they don't make sense for the next 15-20. Expensive as f**k. There is a chance they hate you and kill you in your sleep.

I'd rather be an uncle and call it a day.

ASneakyKat Report

Final score:

47points

POST

Mrs. Jan Glass 2 years ago

Oh, god, the screaming. The screaming!

16points

#42

Im an older sister to many, I feel like ive already been a mother, i want to enjoy life, not cater to someone else’s needs. Im sure it will change but right now I’m very uninterested in birthing a tiny human and having to raise it

samjones83 Report

Final score:

47points

POST

Mbfsc63 2 years ago

She's a SIBLING not a parent and has every right to feel this way.

12points

#43

My sister had a baby with her boyfriend while she was still living at home and I wanted to kill myself from the baby’s constant crying at every hour of the day. No way in hell I would purposely put myself through that again. People with more than one kid are psychos.

zeroj20 Report

Final score:

46points

POST

Mrs. Jan Glass 2 years ago

If you think you want to have a kid, spend a good chunk of time around them, for months, even years, if you can. Working in kid-centric retail jobs and dealing with kids (and their parents) for hours a day is one of the things that first made me go "Wait. I actually HATE this. I hate everything about it! I don't want kids!"

15points

#44

People who do want children, have you ever had to be near a child for more than an hour.

Cybermage99 Report

Final score:

46points

POST

DeathBeforeDecaf 2 years ago

I raised my siblings, baby sat, and the nannied for a decade so yes and I wanted lots of kids. I support being child free and have never and would never push having children on someone. I never even ask people because I operate under the assumption that people don't want kids.

16points

#45

I like my own personal space.

NotYourAverage666 Report

Final score:

45points

POST

Upper Enchilada 2 years ago

Oh, yeah. I have a toddler. I don’t even bother closing the door when I poop.

3points

Dutch Swimmer Goes Viral For Super Revealing Trunks During 2024 Olympics: “Is This Legal?”

See Also on Bored Panda

Thrill-Seeking Diver Jumps Down Extreme Waterslide, Ignoring The Strict Ban For Women

#46

50 People Reveal What Made Them Decide To Never Have Kids They're expensive and I want to live my life without having to worry about them constantly.

BugBoy_760 , Markus Spiske Report

Final score:

45points

POST

Mrs. Jan Glass 2 years ago

100% So many people try to argue these points with me, about how we could afford it if we moved to ____ or stopped ____. No. I don't want to move to ___ and not ___. That's literally the point.

12points

#47

haven't conquered my inner demons yet...

I don't want them to inherit my inner demons

Jimboynoob Report

Final score:

44points

POST

Marley Nachi 2 years ago

same

0points

#48

In this economy?

uzakichu Report

Final score:

39points

POST

Upper Enchilada 2 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

#49

I can't imagine how gross it must be to be pregnant and to plop a child out..
I hate my body the way it is - why should I make it worse?

The responsibility for myself is way too much.
And I really love alone time.
I am happy about all the time I get when my bf is not at home.
I like to be free and spontaneous. Go to festivals and stuff like that.
With a child I would have 10-20 years no privacy and all my schedules have to be around the child...

I hate children. I don't like when they look at me and especially when they wanna talk to me. I always try to ignore them and hope their parent gets them soon.
I love my grandma but when her neighbor hat a baby and was often at my grandma I stopped visiting her because I would not want to see a child...

How could one financiate that? One has to slow down work, the career takes a massive step back and you need to buy so much stuff for it. Let alone a bigger flat and vacations are only possible in holidays and no one can pay for that.

And it is bad for the environment and the world.

Xula_R Report

Final score:

38points

POST

Mrs. Jan Glass 2 years ago

The 'no privacy" thing is a huge one for me. I don't think it's cute when you can't even go to the bathroom without being nattered at by a kid. To me, that = massive anxiety spiral.

10points

Woman Put A Water Fountain With A Camera In Her Yard, Here Are 24 Photos Of Regular Visitors (New Pics)

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“Ma’am I Live Here”: Woman Refuses To Back Out Of Driveway, Learns A Lesson The Hard Way

#50

pros:
-cute
-see how your partner and you mix
-naming it
-dressing it up

cons:
-money drain
-stress faucet
-climate change
-overpopulation
-pressure to not f***k over the kid
-sharing
-consideration
-giving birth (i could go on a whole rant about that but let’s not)
-potential strain on relationship with s/o
-some people shouldn’t be allowed to be parents, i am one of those people
-daily expenses/upkeep
-special expenses (christmas, birthday, etc)
-too much responsibility
-forced to grow up/be mature/a role model
-screaming
-crying
-fluids from child (spit up, vomit, feces, urine, blood, etc)
-potential problems with health and to be responsible/parent them
-children being brats
-birds and bees talk
-stubborn, horrible, insufferable children defying you
-being cucked by your own horrid creation (possibility your son becomes a misogynistic, racist incel or frat bro, possibility your daughter is too naïve and stupidly thinks it’s a good idea to get groomed)
-maid them/clean after them
-listen to things you don’t want to listen to
-loud, noisy
-rowdy

basically if i had to raise myself, i wouldn’t.

threadersam Report

Final score:

34points

POST

Vera1 2 years ago (edited)

Wow… victim blaming much? It isn’t anyones fault if they get groomed. And it isn’t a choice either. The blame lies only with the groomer.

30points

50 Of The Most Incredible Shots That Were Submitted To The Comedy Wildlife Photography Awards

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French Diver’s “Jewels” In Tight Swimming Trunks Become Talk Of The Town At Olympics

#51

I basically never felt that I wanted children.

obsoulete Report

Final score:

19points

POST

#52

I haven’t found a non-selfish feeling reason to have one. Even if all the time and resources were available, it just seems so inconsiderate. People just want little helpers, people to guide them into old age, something to show off, a better version of themselves, a re-do. Seems like the most innocent reason, is to give someone a better life than yours, but even then that smells fishy to me for most character types. Most people won’t admit it but so many kids are the product of feeble grasps at dying relationships. My least favorite is the whole “I need to carry on the family legacy, or name, or bloodline” or whatever. That’s so creepy and vein. Like what gets into those kind of people, that think that they’re genetics are a gift to society, that they “should be here” rather than “could be gone”. It’s gross.
That life can really go in any direction, no matter the control you think you have over it, and you don’t have to live that life, some poor kid you decided to create does.

Woman Moves Out Of Parents' Home After They Asked Her To Give Her Space To Brother, They Freak Out

Final score:

19points

POST

Mrs. Jan Glass 2 years ago

The reasons I kept hearing were all deeply selfish. My family is mostly Mormon, and I'm the only one in at least 3 generations that didn't get married and/or start having kids as a teenager. So all I heard were things like "When you love your husband, you want to give him his baby!" "Now I'll have someone here who will always love me!" "Don't you want to carry on your family name?" "How can you be so selfish?!" Sorry, but the idea that having kids is "selfless" is one of the biggest lies our society promoted. You may have to act selflessly as a parent sometimes, but everything about bringing kids into the world is profoundly self-centered.

4points

See Also on Bored Panda

Mom Leaves $250k Inheritance To Son, Throws A Fit When Daughter Stops Looking After Her

#53

The last thing this world needs is another me

Exactly_Sandwich Report

Final score:

18points

POST

#54

I never wanted children. Even when I was a kid myself I never wanted to “be mom” to my dolls if that makes sense.
I don’t want something growing in me, making me sick, having to birth that, destroy my body, be exhausted, give up my alone time for the next 20 years or so etc.
They’re expensive AF.
Also I don’t think I’m capable of raising it right, it seems so hard to create a little human and make it decent adult. So many ways to mess that up.
Also today’s world seems crazy and really awful for people. Don’t want my nonexistent child living and having to deal with that.
(English is not my first language.)

Fluffy__bee Report

Final score:

18points

POST

#55

1. I don't like kids
2. I care more about myself than anyone else
3. I don't like being tied down to anything and having my quiet time
4. Unnecessary commitment, drain on time and resources
5. Pregnancy messes up the body even after birth
6. and many more :)

Ristique Report

Final score:

17points

POST

Rich2010 2 years ago

1. I like travel and spontaneous adventures. 2. I like peace and quiet. 3. I don't like children at all and have no desire to be around them. 4. I'm selfish and care more about myself than anyone else. 5. Being able to do whatever I want, whenever I want. 6. Sleep 7. Disposable income 8. WAY too many $&#@ing people on this planet already. 9. Reproduction grosses/creeps me out 10. I don't have some egotistical need to create a copy of myself. Yeah, I'm glad that as a gay person I will never have to worry about accidental pregnancies!

3points

Woman Refuses To Chip In For Babysitting Because She Doesn’t Even Have Kids, Asks If She’s A Jerk

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“This Breaks My Heart”: People Stunned—And Angry—After Woman Buys Lost Luggage From Airport

#56

Kids are like annoying little drunk people you can't punch who s**t all over themselfs and drain your wallet.... whats the upside?

Starman388 Report

Final score:

17points

POST

Mbfsc63 2 years ago

None that I can see.

5points

#57

In this economy?? Hell no.

Also I don't think I quite have the patience nor the behavior for a child. Ive babysat before, and its fine but children need so much and you need to keep yourself composed in situations where you both want to freak out. I'm perfectly fine being a big sister, big cousin, an aunt some day. I've got a big family with lots of kiddies that I adore, and that's enough c:

Argentum1909 Report

Final score:

16points

POST

Mrs. Jan Glass 2 years ago

You have to be constantly aware of them. I just couldn't do it.

2points

#58

My life is already ruined that I have to work 5 days a week. Why would I want to ruin my weekends too?

evilmonkey9361 Report

Final score:

16points

POST

JMil 2 years ago

My daughter never ruins my weekends. What ruins my weekends is when I have other responsibilities that lessens my time with her.

0points

#59

50 People Reveal What Made Them Decide To Never Have Kids People who do want children, why?

Wanting to reproduce is driven by instinct. Allowing yourself to be driven by instinct is to forego what makes humans unique. It's also what makes people want to murder, rape, and steal.

I hold myself to a higher standard than that. I can't see a single compelling non-emotional(instinctual) reason to have kids, so I'm not going to.

firebat45 , Tyler Nix Report

Final score:

15points

POST

JMil 2 years ago

Fortunately I have no emotional proclivity to steal, murder, or rape. But I'll go ahead and allow you to feel superior to me because I love kids. I also think it is pretty cool that humans feel emotions like love, compassion, empathy, charity, etc. But I guess my standards and the way I perceive what is special about the human experience is just not up to snuff.

1point

"I Didn't Start The Dryer": Karen Gets Taught A Lesson After Throwing Out Neighbor's Wet Clothes

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College Student Does Exactly As Told After Roommates Demand They Keep Their Stuff In Their Room

#60

My family's bloodline doesn't end with me. Just a specific single solitary branch that wasn't meant to be to begin with.

I've given up on trying to find love or anything like that, and I'm content to just live my life on my own now. =)

44 years going strong....!

mdkubit Report

Final score:

15points

POST

1ch0 2 years ago

Same. I am 40 and barely found myself and just want my peace.

2points

#61

They're gross. They're expensive. They're time consuming. They'll wreck my body (if I had biological ones). I'll never get alone time. It's a dangerous world today. Many reasons.

astronerdia Report

Final score:

15points

POST

Mbfsc63 2 years ago

YUP!!!!!!

0points

#62

Because this world is not a place to bring someone into. Because I suffer from mental illnesses and other things I wouldn’t want to pass on. Because it’s expensive. Because I enjoy sleep and my free time. Because I want to travel, see the world and a kid would ruin that. Because it’s a serious and life changing commitment. Because I know parents who seem absolutely miserable and no longer have an identity outside of their children. Shall I go on?

WafflezXBL Report

Final score:

15points

POST

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Guy Divorced 3 Years Ago Drops Off 3 Y.O. With His Ex-Wife Completely Out Of The Blue

“All Three Shot Out Pink”: Triplets' Baby Shower Turns Sour, Pregnant Wife Wants A Divorce

#63

They grow up and tell you what you did wrong.

badbarn85 Report

Final score:

14points

POST

#64

There are already more than enough people on this planet.

Alternative-Rain-718 Report

Final score:

14points

POST

#65

My mother sold me as a sex slave when I was 13. She also left me with drug dealers when I was 7 and also allowed me to be sexually molested. My father decided I was too much of a "queer" and traded me in for a better son who fit his personality better.

Probably not the best candidate for raising children.

meaton124 Report

Final score:

14points

POST

ThatBiBookLover 2 years ago

Oh my GOD… I’m so sorry for anyone who has to go through this :(

7points

#66

People who do, why?

Never wanted kids, and have never regretted the choice (50s now). Didn’t have to deal with the expenses, where to live dictated by school system, etc. Also wasn’t so self-infatuated with my genes that I thought having kids was a gift to humanity.

And given the times we’re in? Feel like I hit the lottery by not bringing people into this shitstorm.

Sofarbeyondfucked Report

Final score:

14points

POST

Mrs. Jan Glass 2 years ago

We keep looking at each other with each knew f**k up in America, and going "I am SO glad we don't have kids!" Hearing our friends have to explain Trump et.al. to their children was grim.

5points

#67

They're expensive, always sticky, can't use the toilet for 3ish years, and you can't understand a word they say until they're about 5. I have several genetic mental health conditions that don't need to be passed on. Oh, and the world is on fire. I also love my freedom, quiet and money.

Elegante0226 Report

Final score:

14points

POST

Mrs. Jan Glass 2 years ago

Just the thought of diapers and toilet training is a no for me. And that's before we get into puke, snot, and general grossness.

3points

NeighborhoodEnough15 Report

#68

Don't want to damage my body. Haven't found a man who would be a good father to our kids. Toxic family, background. Dealing with anger issues, depression, suicidal thoughts, effects of misogyny and patriarchy, low confidence and self worth.
I would like to adopt if I ever recover but I don't see myself surviving that long.

Final score:

14points

POST

#69

1 too poor

2 no one to have the sex with

3 would rather not do it than do it wrong

4 poor genetics

5 foster

Miserable-Fox-4205 Report

Final score:

13points

POST

SCP 4666 2 years ago

I feel you man

0points

#70

Cause they won't wag their tail on seeing me

CryptoNoob2077 Report

Final score:

13points

POST

Mrs. Jan Glass 2 years ago

This is my argument for why we have cats, not kids. Cats purr, give you love-blinks and head-butts, and bury their own poo. They also aren't going to scream "MOMMY, DADDY HAS A PENIS AND YOU HAVE A VAGINA" in the middle of the grocery store, either.

4points

canijustbelancelot Report

#71

I'm mentally ill and can give it to my children

cretindesalpes Report

Final score:

13points

POST

#72

Noisy , noisy and noisy

Treeoflifetheory Report

Final score:

12points

POST

#73

I’m not a very healthy person. Physically or mentally. Intergenerational trauma is also a big thing in my family so I don’t want to pass that along.

Final score:

12points

POST

#74

Cant justify bringing a life into existence who will have to deal with massive climatological disasters due to capitalism

Romarium Report

Final score:

10points

POST

#75

Money. S**t costs too much to bring up α child/children

IkeaIsLegendary Report

Final score:

10points

POST

Mrs. Jan Glass 2 years ago

Even just having an uncomplicated birth is too goddamned expensive in America. And what if something goes wrong? Yay, starting your family in medical debt is awesome! USA! USA!

2points

#76

Don’t want to bring another life into our messed up society, it’s not fair on them.
Also I can’t guarantee that I would put a lot of pressure on them to turn out a certain way. I like to think I’d be a very chill parent and not want my child to do things conventionally but at the same time I would want them to be very well educated and respectful… Going from my childhood it can be so suffocating and damaging to put a lot of pressures and ideologies onto your child, and I can’t guarantee I wouldn’t do that.

Background-List-8454 Report

Final score:

10points

POST

#77

I'd be a terrible father. I like to relax and do whatever the hell I want when I get home. Taking care of a small child is one thing I would definitely not want to do after a long day of work. Yes, I am selfish, in this instance.

Plus, I like my money. Kids are expensive af, and saving money that I can then spend on going to see my family or going on vacations or just doing whatever the hell I want is something I don't want to change any time soon.

DesertOps4 Report

Final score:

10points

POST

Eat Dirt Crow 2 years ago (edited)

There are some days I get home from work and pass out after taking off my boots. How would you tell your child that daddy can't play right now, he's too tired from work? And tell mom that you don't have any energy left to help parent? That's not fair for either them or me.

2points

#78

I don't want to waste time taking care of another person until they are capable of doing things on their own. I've wasted so much time worrying about what others would think/do and not living at the present moment that I want that time to be invested in myself.

alakazuela Report

Final score:

9points

POST

#79

You could get a yacht, or send a kid to college and pay for at least 18 years worth of food, clothes, and toys… hard choice right?

Extension-Fox2081 Report

Final score:

9points

POST

Mrs. Jan Glass 2 years ago

Send a kid to college? No way, I had to send ME to college!

2points

Independent_Boot4326 Report

#80

I don't like children.

Also, children require the consent of another person to create.

Obsidian_Veil Report

Final score:

9points

POST

#81

Can't handle them and I don't think I'll be a good dad in general. Also I don't want my child to suffer in this world

Final score:

9points

POST

#82

They are burden

Final score:

9points

POST

#83

I like spending my energy and money on myself

Final score:

8points

POST

#84

I don't necessarily have a solid answer, broadly speaking I can say I have just never 'wanted' to have children. There may have been a couple of times in my late teens early 20s that I thought I might want a family, but I don't think that intrinsically meant children as well.

So whether that inate feeling I've always had has influenced and guided my choices or whether my choices have influenced and guided that feeling I'll never know. There are many minor individual reasons I could point to, though I feel that might just be my mind using those as reasons in hindsight.

That said, my brother has had his first child recently and my sister is pregnant. I couldn't be happier for them and feel quite proud to be an uncle. There is a sense of excitement there and it's opened a perspective of life that I didn't entirely have before. So, in another timeline perhaps I would have loved to be a father.

I-Denrik-I Report

Final score:

8points

POST

#85

Because they poop a lot. Alas nobody wants the little stinker so im stuck with em

_MrNobody___ Report

Final score:

2points

POST

This comment has been deleted.

0points

Ieva is a writer at Bored Panda who graduated in Scandinavian studies from Vilnius University. After learning the Swedish language and getting completely lost in the world of Scandinavian mythology, she figured out that translating and writing is what she's passionate about. When not writing, Ieva enjoys making jewelry, going on hikes, reading and drinking coffee.

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I'm a Visual Editor for Bored Panda. I’m also an analog collage artist. My love for images and experience in layering goes well with both creating collages by hand and working with digital images as an Editor. When I’m not using my kitchen area as an art studio I also do various experiments making my own cosmetics or brewing kombucha. When I’m not at home you would most definitely find me attending a concert or walking my dog.

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What do you think ?

POST

DuchessDegu 2 years ago

My cat is allergic to kids

30points

Enlee Jones 2 years ago

I don’t owe anyone a reason, so there’s that.

27points

Bisces 2 years ago

Period.

7points

RandomFrog(He/They️‍️) 2 years ago

I’m afraid to have kids since roe v wade was overturned. I would like to have kids, but what if something happened during pregnancy and I needed an abortion. It’s jsut terrifying and I never want to get preggo. But I would adopt.

23points

Lyone Fein 2 years ago

I'm 59 and never had children. My sister is 57 and also child free. I think our bad experiences in our family of origin had a lot to do with our separate choices for no children. Both of our parents were abusive in different ways. I always thought that if I ever wanted kids I would adopt, because there are so many children already in the world who need families. But I never felt like I had my own life together enough to bring that child into it. I just didn't want to pass on the damage. Now that we are seeing how bad the world is doing, just on a physical level with all the environmental collapse, I am even more relieved that I never had a child.

13points

Mrs. Jan Glass 2 years ago

52, and same. I think a lot of us Gen X-ers went through so much as latchkey kids, and the first generation to have divorced parents/remarried parents as the norm, that a bunch of us just looked at our parents and went "Nope."

13points

ThatBiBookLover 2 years ago

Depression, suicidal thoughts, ADHD so I can’t be fully there for my kid, always thought I wanted kids till I had a sister 9 years younger than me… I cannot do this. So many reasons.

12points

No One 2 years ago

I have heard "A woman isn't fulfilled who hasn't had children". More than once. From some of THE WORST mothers out there. All drunks, drug addicts or criminals. WTF?

11points

JMil 2 years ago (edited)

This is a great and very honest thread. I really appreciate it. One thing that I appreciate about the posters and their self-awareness and honesty is that (AND I DO NOT MEAN THIS DISPARAGINGLY!) some people should not have kids. And that is totally cool and great. I support it.

11points

Pax32 2 years ago

For me, other than echoing the time, responsibilities, bad genes, economic factors, and I don't think I make a good parent. Another factor for me to remain childless is the large barriers that comes with being a male. For example, there's places still doesn't have baby changing table in male washrooms, or the assumption that I would do disgusting things, meanwhile I'm just cleaning and changing my kid's diaper. As well, there's places that doesn't have parental leave rights for fathers. Like they do for mothers. On top of that, I'm also gay. Which add more negative assumptions and barriers for me to have a child to take care of. Even if I wanted one by adoption with the money and a clean criminal record.

11points

KWhiskers 2 years ago

I don't know why anyone downvoted you. Those factors are all real, and I hadn't even thought of a couple of them (like the changing table or thinking you were doing disgusting things). Plus it's important to mention the difficulties unique to each group. Adoption is a good option if you want kids, but if you're on the fence extra obstacles may push you away from it.

4points

Y D 2 years ago

No joke on the gay dad ish. People are ignorant af. Same with parents of mixed-race children. Some fd up assumptions about a mixed kid traveling with one parent looks like trafficking to all the oh-so-helpfuls.

1point

Random Person 2 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Mrs. Jan Glass 2 years ago

Yeah, no, it's not always "the most precious relationships you will ever have in your life" so stop with the rhetoric. My parents claimed that s**t and were still abusive and negligent. Simplistic rhetoric like this is part of the problem, and diminishing our reasons as "being nervous" is incredibly myopic. If we don't have kids, then we have other precious relationships that are equally or more fulfilling.

10points

MoMcB 2 years ago

My daughter is 28, and doesn't want children. Absolutely her choice. Last week, we were at a family wedding and her aunts were badgering her about getting married and starting a family. She's pretty shy, so it ended with gobby Mum telling them to mind their own. WTAF?

10points

Mrs. Jan Glass 2 years ago

Well done, you! I always loved it when my MIL would shut that s**t down HARD.

12points

I had always said I wanted to have kids because I thought I SHOULD have kids. So many people say things like, "when you have your own kids.." so I assumed it was something I didn't have much of a choice in. When I met my fiancee seven years ago things got intense between us very quick. When it came time to have the "kids" talk, he explained to me that he was dead set on not having kids. I said okay, because I didn't want to talk about it at that time and I thought, "let's just see what happens." Somewhere along the way I realized that I didn't ever want kids. I thought they were a given. I always knew I'd be miserable and broke but all my life I've had people tell me "you'd manage", or "well I had three jobs when I was raising my kids, you'd just have to do what you have to do to support them." That doesn't sound like something I want to be a part of. Especially considering I might traumatized a child by being resentful to them.

9points

Mrs. Jan Glass 2 years ago

As soon as I realized "Oh. Wait. I don't HAVE to have kids," my entire world changed for the better. Too many of us do it without thought because we are afraid of missing out on something we think we "have" to do.

12points

Kharyss 2 years ago

Way too many justifications here. The only one that’s really important is “Because I don’t want them”. Why should anybody have to justify whether they decide to procreate or not? It’s a personal decision; usually not taken lightly. Most importantly, it’s no one else’s business.

8points

Leekun 2 years ago

I didn't have a bad childhood, I wasn't abused. My parents are so loving. I still don't want kids. I get tense whenever Im around one and imagining having to put up with that for so many years gives me anxiety. I am autistic and children screaming is the worst. I also have OCD so diapers and the stuff belonging to that area is a big no no. Also the world is going to pieces. Why would I want to bring a kid up in this world when there is no telling when the world's gonna end? (I brought up the happy childhood thing because I wanted to prove that even happy children can turn childfree. Not a dig at abused kids. Abuse sucks)

7points

Aunt Riarch 2 years ago (edited)

You're not the only one. My parents are pretty amazing, I wish everyone could have parents like mine. But I've never felt the urge myself. So I didn't.

3points

Inclusion2020 2 years ago

I refuse to have kids of my own bc of 2 reasons. First, there’s plenty of kids who need a safe home and loving family. My own traumatic upbringing continues to deeply affect me. Why not save a person from that. Secondly, my family has a history of addiction and mental illness. I needed PHP level intervention to learn to live with my issues and traumas. I’m not bringing a child into this world with with the chance that they could get my fathers or even my own genes.

7points

kit kat 2 years ago

Sounds like a good idea for you to avoid having a family

1point

Rich2010 2 years ago

It's funny how parents will say that parenting brings a lot of joy and that it's so fulfilling when all I'm witnessing is the misery that comes along with it. "It's different when they're your own kids".... I can't believe people are actually naive enough to fall for this. I listened to enough parents vent to me to know that this is NOT the case. It's all a trap. They want people to think that parenting is so great because if everyone else around them was in the same boat as them then they wouldn't be reminded of what could've been if they didn't make the choice to reproduce.

7points

Momica98 1 year ago

Is that how your parents treated you?

0points

kit kat 2 years ago

Why on earth would you think that's a motive? That is such a bizarre way to think

0points

Random Person 2 years ago

It's not a trap, not for many. You look at a guy in the gym, sweating, hurting, in pain and exhausted, but he keeps coming back. Same with parenting. Sure we b***h about it sometimes, but then your kid looks at you with a raised eyebrow after a terrible dad joke, with a half smile and disparaging but good natured comment, and you know every second is worth it.

0points

propgamer XL 2 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

0points

Lonely Tentacle 2 years ago

What's sad is that so many people in this list talked with humility and respect towards kids and how they wouldn't want to be bad parents to kids, and you just know they would be good parents, while the world is full of people who had kids for the wrong reasons and/or are the worst parents, actively harming their kids... :(

6points

Lee 2 years ago (edited)

I just plain do not like kids. They are loud and annoying. I have my father's very short temper, though I do control it better than he does. I have never put a hole in the floor by throwing a chair, but I do say things I don't mean a lot. I would never want a kid to look back on it all and say "I'm not sad I was born, but Mom should have NEVER had me" like I do about my dad often. Better to just not tempt fate. I know everyone SAYS it's different when it's your own, but I'm sorry, do you REALLY want to test that? Best case, they are absolutely right and it all worked out amazingly. But the worst case isn't worth trying for the best IMO.

6points

Momica98 1 year ago

You were a kid once.

0points

Hanna Johansson 2 years ago

Love this. I don't think I wanna have a baby ever. I want me to always be my biggest priority.

6points

Pandaroo 2 years ago

What about, I'm (42F) simply not interested and never have been?

5points

Upper Enchilada 2 years ago

I would like to share my gratitude to those altruistic enough to give up any possible aspirations of having a child so as not to add to the overpopulation. Your contribution, in this planet of 8 billion, will make all the difference. It’s very generous and thoughtful.

5points

Tree P 2 years ago

You're welcome! Glad I could help!

0points

Artisan of the Realm 2 years ago

All the above have sighted great valid reasons not to procreate, but really the TOP reason is the uncomfortable and horrific fact of world overpopulation. Why does world overpopulation matter one might ask? 1. At 8 billion people, we are over-consuming, over-polluting, and over developing/destroying the natural resources of the planet that IS NOT SUSTAINABLE on any level. 2. 50 billions animals are slaughtered every year for human consumption, and if that's hot enough, we practically wipe out almost every species to extinction in the wild. 3. Yes, there is a direct link to Climate Change and world overpopulation, that's also a fact. 4. More than 70 percent of the world's population lives under poverty level, less than a dollar a day. 5. Homo Sapiens, aka "Humans" are the single most destructive, greedy, and dangerous species to ever inhabit this planet in its entire history. It is not an absurd assumption to equate humans as the ultimate virus cancer of the planet.

5points

JMil 2 years ago (edited)

Agreed. This is very high on my cons list of having a child. I did note earlier in the thread, having one child does decrease the population in the long-term (assuming we don't become near immortal). This is one reason it is extremely likely I'm one-and-done. Love my daughter immensely, and we have given much consideration to a second, but this is a major reason why it is not likely to happen. (Edit: when my daughter is older we may foster)

0points

Max M 2 years ago

I never liked kids. They are aholes, ask to much, annoying and evil because their parent are aholes.

5points

censorshipsucks 2 years ago

wow you have obviously never met any decent ones. I've found that if you talk to them as if they were people and see what they're interested in, they actually chill out. But maybe that's becasue I am not in your country and don't see the same bad behaviour that you do.

0points

Jodee Rebecca Davey 2 years ago

I Don't Want Kids Because I Can Barely Take Care of Myself Much Less Any Kids

5points

Kyrsten Torrey 2 years ago

I can barely take care of myself as it is. I don't even want pets and I'm an animal lover! Kids have just never interested me, and even though I'm an aunt, my neices still don't interest me even being 8 and 9.

5points

William 2 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Pandaroo 2 years ago

Still, I like that these conversations are becoming part of public discourse. In my teens and 20s ppl were like wtf why don't you want bayyybeeees! You'll regret it! But because of this new discourse my life isn't being questioned anymore.

4points

Mrs. Jan Glass 2 years ago

This is a big deal. I mean, until I was in my 20s, I didn't understand that you really COULD choose to not have kids, esp if you were married. My mom and grandma never even questioned it in the first place. There were no other options. We need to keep talking about it!

3points

Powerful Katrinka 2 years ago

I have bipolar 1 disorder, and much of my life has involved dealing with a mental health crisis. I have experienced bone-crushing depression, and hugely destructive bouts of mania. My mom had bipolar disorder. My maternal grandmother had bipolar disorder. My maternal great-grandmother had bipolar disorder. And literally everyone in my family tree, going back generations, has been addicted to alcohol. The cycle ends with me.

4points

Mrs. Jan Glass 2 years ago

Powerful indeed. Well done.

3points

Aisling Raye 2 years ago

I didn't play with dollars and flat out told my mom I didn't want kids when I was 6-7. Im in my early 40s now and have never had a single regret about not having children. Most of my friends are child free and none of them have had regrets. Of my friends who have children, I know of two separate couples that greatly regret having children. I have one friend couple that are childless and (despite being able to provide a stable family two parent home, steady reliable income, beautiful home in a great school district etc) they are stuck in the disgusting loop of trying to adopt in the USA. All of these forced birth people that are so hard set on anti abortion c**p seem to be completely blind when it comes to their "there are plenty of people who want to adopt" talking point. 400,000 or so kids in the foster care system says that either there aren't enough people willing to adopt or that the process is such a mess that those who are willing to do so can't. Sorry for my rant.

4points

Aisling Raye 2 years ago

Going to add that yes I do have plenty of friends that have kids and love them. One of my best friends has 5. There is no one better option. Some people love kids, some people don't. It's not a barometer of good vs bad. Also, child free and childless are separate things and I wish more people understood that. Also, can we stop asking "do you have kids?" "When will you have kids?" Type questions. They can be incredibly hurtful for those who can't have children and at the very least it's kind of gross to ask new acquaintances about their sex lives right off the bat.

4points

propgamer XL 2 years ago

You have to be a millionair if you want to adopt a kid.

0points

kit kat 2 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Microwave Chef 2 years ago

People don't need a reason to not want kids. It's nobody else's business, live and let live. ✌🏽

3points

Cookie 2 years ago

I don't like the 3Ps - pee, poo and puke.

3points

Iam Knucks 2 years ago

I've seen those list pop up a couple times now and it always seems to boil down to "I don't want them". Fair f*****g enough. Glad people who don't want kids are not having kids.

3points

Eat Dirt Crow 2 years ago

I've never understood having kids to make the world a better place. Like, what are you doing right now to make it a better place? How did it get to be a bad place in the first place? (Spoilers: humans) Why is it the burden of the next generation to fix our mistakes? I'm sure some of us were supposed to fix the mistakes of our parents. How's that working out? These aren't just rhetorical questions. I honestly would like to know.

3points

Ladytron 2 years ago

Being a mom was never something I really dreamt about. Honestly I think I could have been childfree without feeling something was missing. That said, I have 3 kids and found great joy in parenthood overall. They don't really feel like "kids" to me, they are family members. I guess in the same way pet owners don't really feel they have "pets". When people say "oh but kids are loud and messy and hard to deal with" I can't really relate to my kids. Not that they are not those things (they can absolutely be) just that I don't lump them up like that so it feels off when people do. They are family members with different traits. I guess that's what parenthood does to you... so, I don't think it's as black and white as either you are a "parent" type of person or a "child free" type of person. I'm sure I would have been able to have a meaningful life either way - just different.

3points

Ladytron 2 years ago

The major thing that bothers me about being parents is how visible gender inequality is once a couple starts having kids though. THAT scares me and it shouldn't be like that. Even in countries that have come a long way statistics show that that equality drops A LOT after kids and the couple takes on more traditional roles. Parenthood hurts women more than men. I wish it wasn't like that.

2points

Fearhunter 2 years ago

I suffer from chronically depression and I fear that this could be difficult for own children. I'm not saying that people with mental illness don't have to be parents but me for myself are damn afraid what my depressions could do with my children like they could be feeling that I don't love them or something. Of course it's an illness but that's something even many adults can't understand emotionally and feel not beloved in some phases. Even if they know it better. And this for a little child... I would suck as mom.

2points

LynzCatastrophe 2 years ago

For all these reasons and more. I wouldn't have my job if I had kids. I work two weeks on a boat, two weeks off. Very few of my crew mates have kids and right now it's my two weeks off, I get to spend those two weeks doing anything I want, and nobody can question me. I like my free time, I like my money, my peace and quiet, my fragile balance of my mental health which takes work to keep balanced. It's hard work taking care of myself, let alone another completely dependent human. Furthermore, I have no plans to live past 80 at most due to our declining planet, economy, political climate, social climate, etc, why would I subject another generation to it. And lastly.... I DON'T WANT KIDS! POINT BLANK!

2points

Janet C 2 years ago

I knew at 16 I never wanted kids. I had never played with baby dolls and hated the one and only time I babysat. Everyone told me I'd change my mind. I'm now 66 and have zero regrets. I had an active and fulfilling career and retired at 62. Moved to Spain with my husband and we now live a dream life in a small mountain village an hour south of Valencia. We travel all over Europe, regularly attend all the local festivals, concerts, and events we want, and go out to eat whenever we feel like it. I wouldn't change a thing. And kids would have prevented all of this.

2points

Daria Z 2 years ago

First of all, I cannot afford having a child. Then there's the whole mess my country (Russia) has got itself into, and I'm not sure it's the place where I'd want my children to live. To top it off, I'm not even sure I'd be a good parent. Depression and anxiety leave me little energy to barely manage my current life, and any child deserves so much more than I'm able to give.

2points

Hannah 2 years ago

Honestly, I'm just scared I'd kill them. I'm one of the clumsiest, most forgetful, most easily distracted people i know. I don't want to drop my baby, or forget them in a hot car, or lose them at a grocery store and get them kidnapped or something. What if I forgot to feed them? Or I take a tumble down the stairs with them and leave the paralyzed or something?? Nooo thank you. No siree. I'm not risking that on an innocent life. I don't even have a pet. I can't even remember to take care of virtual pets, why would I risk it on a live one?

2points

JMil 2 years ago

Good reasoning and I am not pressuring/suggesting at all you should have a kid, just noting an interesting phenomenon, for me, anyway. I'm laid back, but when my daughter was in a more "fragile" phase, I would enter a state of hyper-alert level 100 when with her.

0points

colorfultragedy 2 years ago

Having bipolar disorder and tourette's would definitely make it difficult to carry, birth, and care for a child already, but I take care of my three younger siblings and doing it, realizing my mother basically has to do the same, and realizing how hard that must be has made me confident that I'll just get a couple cats.

2points

Michael Largey 2 years ago

You have to have "Something" in you to make you want to have a child. That's the same "Something" you'll draw strength from while raising the child. So if you don't actively want to be a parent, it's much harder to be a good one.

2points

Helen Waight 2 years ago

I’m phobic of pregnancy, have had one termination when my iud failed, am on a number of medications that would be very harmful to a fetus, am physically disabled, and have absolutely no maternal urges whatsoever. Been happily married to a childfree man for nearly 20 years this month! To me parenting is like raising animals I’m phobic of: hey great for you if you’re into it but I am never doing it.

2points

Daffodil 2 years ago

I absolutely love kids, but I don't want to have kids because of a few reasons. 1) I don't wanna be responsible for a kid under 4/5. I couldn't deal with it if my infant did something dangerous and got hurt, even if I tried preventing it, and quite frankly i value my sleep too much. Plus I'd have trouble entertaining the kid, and I don't wanna raise a kid who refuses to do anything except play on a phone. Which brings me to my second thing: 2) Right now my sister and I are babysitting a lot. (I'm 10 years older than my brother, my sisters a year younger than me. I don't wanna say exact ages but you can get a pretty close range, considering we're all minors) My parents have been slacking so much on the parenting lately, that he has almost no manners, only plays on his phone, and when he's not allowed to have it refuses to do anything else and complains until he's allowed to have it, and he doesn't listen to anyone except my dad.

2points

Daffodil 2 years ago

3) I don't want to undergo the drastic changes to my physical and mental health. I'm also scared of needles (under an umbrella phobia I have, it's pretty rare I think and I haven't found a name for it online, but it's the phobia of anything I consider foreign in my body, which could range from a baby, to a needle, to a tampon, to a liquid-gel pill). And I don't wanna go through the process of giving birth. 4) I like money.

2points

Marley Nachi 2 years ago

I enjoy getting to live my life how I want it after growing up with a tough childhood. I'm living the childhood I want as an adult. I'm not a doom-ist and see this future world as a catastrophy. I just want to be me and have the choice to make up my own mind on how I want to live. I like children, and choose to be the cool auntie instead of 'mummy'

1point

Bernd Herbert 2 years ago

Not a reason, merely an observation: I was many times in a situation where I thought: Manü, if I had kids now, I couldn’t do this right now, or with jükids, this situation wouldn’t be as good, or even worse. Never ever had I the opposite: „You know what would be better now? Having a kid!“ So, that’s that

1point

JMil 2 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

-2points

Suz66 2 years ago

I tried to get pregnant with my ex. We were married for 24 years. I could never conceive (endometriosis diagnosed later.) I'm grateful now after that marriage crashed and burned. My health turned sideways while still young (I was 29.) I now caregive for my mother with dementia so God had other plans. I wouldn't be able to with young kids. I'm not patient with kids now. I would never have gotten any much needed quiet time (a rarity as a caregiver anyway.) I can't imagine adding kids to my life.

1point

jpaul 2 years ago

lot of good points into the point of views. the 'fu..ed up world', and 'chains' come up often. sometimes i tend to think like that too. why complicating your life when you're perfectly happy with your actual life. But in the same time when i cross the face of a cute little girl in the streets it's hard not to want one. I mean they're so freakin' cute. Plus a family is very important. especially into our actual weirdo world. You can hardly find something more strong, stable, and emotionnally positive than a family nowadays

1point

Y D 2 years ago

Kids are hilarious. Don't need them in my house or touching my stuff and I'm totally cool seeing them quarterly. Only response I've ever given to someone harranguing me about not having kids that silenced the speaker: Have you met yours? HARD PASS. When someone feels the need to comment on your life decisions, strike hard enough that they will not risk broaching the subject again.

1point

SCP 4666 2 years ago (edited)

Actually I wouldn`t mind having one or two kids. But like many commenters said, they`re loud, expensive, take up all of your time etc. Plus, you know...overpopulation, climate change etc. And I´m too afraid that my kid(s) will be affected by one of the hundreds of genetic misshaps lurking in our DNA. ( Dont get me wrong, if thats the case then so be it but as a parent you usually wish for a healthy child, right?) So I`m really uncertain here. Should I habe kids or not? Hmmm, decisions, decisions...

1point

Humanoid Panda 2 years ago

I actually enjoy taking naps.

1point

Katie Lutesinger 2 years ago

In one of the Red Dwarf Season 1 episodes there's a scene where Lister thinks he's going to die. He laments that he wanted to have a family "and loads of practise at the things you gotta do in order to get a family". Well, I'm the exact opposite of all that. Don't want kids, don't want a partner, don't want to have sex. Ever. If I weren't aro ace and *did* want kids... well, I'm far too broke to adopt.

1point

Momica98 1 year ago

Some of these people sound they can hardly look after themselves, let alone a kid. And you don't need to try and understand why other people became parents.

0points

Mistouko Les 2 years ago

It's called darwinism.

0points

foofoofloofy 2 years ago

Children scare me, honestly. I have issues being in the same room with them, let alone actually HAVING one. I'm still young, and my opinion may change with time (but I don't think so).

0points

Silre 2 years ago

Infertility is what did it for me

0points

censorshipsucks 2 years ago (edited)

It is remarkable how culturally determined this is. In my experience (Africa), people from Mediterranean backgrounds (meaning traditional, religious people), and African-africans, do not understand this at all. So I think that the idea of "not having" kids is a distinclty white western thing (maybe Chinese as well since they had that 1-child policy). I think the arguments from selfishness (it is inconvenient), or the arguments from environmental decay and overpopulation are legitimate. BUT, and here's the rub... the ONLY people with the economic power, voting power, and intellectual influence, to UNDO the damage to the earth... are precisely the same who won't have kids. Meaning once yall are extinct... the pro-children group will inherit the earth. And make humanity extinct by breeding to extinction.

-1point

Mary Starkovich 2 years ago

№ 30. What?

-3points

censorshipsucks 2 years ago

the rank changes according to votes, so you need to quote the original.

0points

Obi 2 years ago

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Valerie Franks 2 years ago

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JMil 2 years ago

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-3points

SirWriteALot 2 years ago

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Mrs. Jan Glass 2 years ago

I hope you're supporting access to safe and legal abortion, then.

5points

Ueda 2 years ago

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Liam Walsh 2 years ago

Do you write 'another pro kid post on BP' every time? There are plenty of them. Room for both. Don't like, don't read. Click on the menu 'parenting' and have at it.

11points

VodkaInMySweetTea 2 years ago

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Chris Jones 2 years ago

Pick your audience better. This is a place where people are commenting on their reasons not to. If you want success stories pick a parenting post. They exist after all. No one is saying don't, they are saying why THEY didn't.

14points

Random Person 2 years ago

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Random Person 2 years ago

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Ren Karlej 2 years ago

Not fanatics, the wrong crowd. Would you turn up to a wine tasting event and look for people who hated wine? Daft. Let those who don't want children have their say. The world has been anti them long enough. Go extol the virtues of children where people want to hear it.

11points

Gianna 2 years ago

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Mrs. Jan Glass 2 years ago

Honey, my parents SHOULDN'T'VE had kids, and if I wasn't here, I wouldn't know the difference. Our own family life gives us a pretty solid indication of what life with kids would be like, in fact.

23points

kit kat 2 years ago

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30_Helens_Agree 2 years ago (edited)

Who cares if you think someone else’s reasons for not having kids is selfish? Get over yourself.

11points

Eat Dirt Crow 2 years ago

It's like reading the reviews for a very popular product. Most of the reviews are good and they really enjoyed the thing. But some people gave negative reviews saying there was something about it that didn't meet their expectations. If you can read through the negative reviews of an item and think to yourself "these things don't bother me" then, great, good for you. But for some of us some of those things are "deal breakers" and aren't worth the trouble.

6points

Lycar Lodya 2 years ago

My parents should've never had me. For a few reasons. I'd also like to put in, that given the chance I would opt out of not being born. I never asked to be here. I don't want to be in this horrible world where.... PEOPLE THINK THEY HAVE THE RIGHT TO CONTROL OTHER PEOPLE. I'm not bringing in a child to put up with people that would try to change their ideas and beliefs because it matches their agenda.

4points

propgamer XL 2 years ago

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0points

Random Person 2 years ago

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Iriané Marie Laurentwolff 2 years ago

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Hyrule26 2 years ago

Actually, we are currently overpopulated. Check your facts darling.

20points

KWhiskers 2 years ago

Yeah...we're not anywhere close to extinction, or even in any sort of concerning position, due to low population. We do have plenty of kids who don't have access to basic needs, who need to be adopted and who are in areas that are increasingly being hit by global warming (hurricanes, floods, water running out). There are plenty of people still having kids. There are also plenty of problems that need solving. People who don't want kids reproducing will help nothing but will have harm. Harm for the unwanted kids, for the unadopted kids, for each new carbon footprint and for attention taken away in the case of people who don't want kids bc they're trying to focus on solving these problems. If you want to have a child and have the ability to give them what they need, including a home where they are wanted and loved, cool. But don't act like it's some selfish vs self-less thing. Creating more people is not a good reason to have kids bc we aren't short on people.

10points

kit kat 2 years ago

Lol the world.doesnt need more people having kids it's massively over populated

3points

POST

DuchessDegu 2 years ago

My cat is allergic to kids

30points

Enlee Jones 2 years ago

I don’t owe anyone a reason, so there’s that.

27points

Bisces 2 years ago

Period.

7points

RandomFrog(He/They️‍️) 2 years ago

23points

Lyone Fein 2 years ago

13points

Mrs. Jan Glass 2 years ago

13points

ThatBiBookLover 2 years ago

Depression, suicidal thoughts, ADHD so I can’t be fully there for my kid, always thought I wanted kids till I had a sister 9 years younger than me… I cannot do this. So many reasons.

12points

No One 2 years ago

I have heard "A woman isn't fulfilled who hasn't had children". More than once. From some of THE WORST mothers out there. All drunks, drug addicts or criminals. WTF?

11points

JMil 2 years ago (edited)

11points

Pax32 2 years ago

11points

KWhiskers 2 years ago

4points

Y D 2 years ago

1point

Random Person 2 years ago

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Mrs. Jan Glass 2 years ago

10points

MoMcB 2 years ago

10points

Mrs. Jan Glass 2 years ago

Well done, you! I always loved it when my MIL would shut that s**t down HARD.

12points

9points

Mrs. Jan Glass 2 years ago

12points

Kharyss 2 years ago

8points

Leekun 2 years ago

7points

Aunt Riarch 2 years ago (edited)

You're not the only one. My parents are pretty amazing, I wish everyone could have parents like mine. But I've never felt the urge myself. So I didn't.

3points

Inclusion2020 2 years ago

7points

kit kat 2 years ago

Sounds like a good idea for you to avoid having a family

1point

Rich2010 2 years ago

7points

Momica98 1 year ago

Is that how your parents treated you?

0points

kit kat 2 years ago

Why on earth would you think that's a motive? That is such a bizarre way to think

0points

Random Person 2 years ago

0points

propgamer XL 2 years ago

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0points

Lonely Tentacle 2 years ago

6points

Lee 2 years ago (edited)

6points

Momica98 1 year ago

You were a kid once.

0points

Hanna Johansson 2 years ago

Love this. I don't think I wanna have a baby ever. I want me to always be my biggest priority.

6points

Pandaroo 2 years ago

What about, I'm (42F) simply not interested and never have been?

5points

Upper Enchilada 2 years ago

5points

Tree P 2 years ago

You're welcome! Glad I could help!

0points

Artisan of the Realm 2 years ago

5points

JMil 2 years ago (edited)

0points

Max M 2 years ago

I never liked kids. They are aholes, ask to much, annoying and evil because their parent are aholes.

5points

censorshipsucks 2 years ago

0points

Jodee Rebecca Davey 2 years ago

I Don't Want Kids Because I Can Barely Take Care of Myself Much Less Any Kids

5points

Kyrsten Torrey 2 years ago

5points

William 2 years ago

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Pandaroo 2 years ago

4points

Mrs. Jan Glass 2 years ago

3points

Powerful Katrinka 2 years ago

4points

Mrs. Jan Glass 2 years ago

Powerful indeed. Well done.

3points

Aisling Raye 2 years ago

4points

Aisling Raye 2 years ago

4points

propgamer XL 2 years ago

You have to be a millionair if you want to adopt a kid.

0points

kit kat 2 years ago

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Microwave Chef 2 years ago

People don't need a reason to not want kids. It's nobody else's business, live and let live. ✌🏽

3points

Cookie 2 years ago

I don't like the 3Ps - pee, poo and puke.

3points

Iam Knucks 2 years ago

I've seen those list pop up a couple times now and it always seems to boil down to "I don't want them". Fair f*****g enough. Glad people who don't want kids are not having kids.

3points

Eat Dirt Crow 2 years ago

3points

Ladytron 2 years ago

3points

Ladytron 2 years ago

2points

Fearhunter 2 years ago

2points

LynzCatastrophe 2 years ago

2points

Janet C 2 years ago

2points

Daria Z 2 years ago

2points

Hannah 2 years ago

2points

JMil 2 years ago

0points

colorfultragedy 2 years ago

2points

Michael Largey 2 years ago

2points

Helen Waight 2 years ago

2points

Daffodil 2 years ago

2points

Daffodil 2 years ago

2points

Marley Nachi 2 years ago

1point

Bernd Herbert 2 years ago

1point

JMil 2 years ago

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-2points

Suz66 2 years ago

1point

jpaul 2 years ago

1point

Y D 2 years ago

1point

SCP 4666 2 years ago (edited)

1point

Humanoid Panda 2 years ago

I actually enjoy taking naps.

1point

Katie Lutesinger 2 years ago

1point

Momica98 1 year ago

Some of these people sound they can hardly look after themselves, let alone a kid. And you don't need to try and understand why other people became parents.

0points

Mistouko Les 2 years ago

It's called darwinism.

0points

foofoofloofy 2 years ago

Children scare me, honestly. I have issues being in the same room with them, let alone actually HAVING one. I'm still young, and my opinion may change with time (but I don't think so).

0points

Silre 2 years ago

Infertility is what did it for me

0points

censorshipsucks 2 years ago (edited)

-1point

Mary Starkovich 2 years ago

№ 30. What?

-3points

censorshipsucks 2 years ago

the rank changes according to votes, so you need to quote the original.

0points

Obi 2 years ago

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Valerie Franks 2 years ago

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JMil 2 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

-3points

SirWriteALot 2 years ago

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Mrs. Jan Glass 2 years ago

I hope you're supporting access to safe and legal abortion, then.

5points

Ueda 2 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Liam Walsh 2 years ago

Do you write 'another pro kid post on BP' every time? There are plenty of them. Room for both. Don't like, don't read. Click on the menu 'parenting' and have at it.

11points

VodkaInMySweetTea 2 years ago

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Chris Jones 2 years ago

14points

Random Person 2 years ago

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Random Person 2 years ago

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Ren Karlej 2 years ago

11points

Gianna 2 years ago

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Mrs. Jan Glass 2 years ago

Honey, my parents SHOULDN'T'VE had kids, and if I wasn't here, I wouldn't know the difference. Our own family life gives us a pretty solid indication of what life with kids would be like, in fact.

23points

kit kat 2 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

30_Helens_Agree 2 years ago (edited)

Who cares if you think someone else’s reasons for not having kids is selfish? Get over yourself.

11points

Eat Dirt Crow 2 years ago

6points

Lycar Lodya 2 years ago

4points

propgamer XL 2 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

0points

Random Person 2 years ago

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Iriané Marie Laurentwolff 2 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Hyrule26 2 years ago

Actually, we are currently overpopulated. Check your facts darling.

20points